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What would Mirror Neelix be like?

daqheghdaqhegh Member Posts: 1,490 Arc User
edited December 2014 in Ten Forward
I just got to thinking...if Mirror Neelix hasn't been killed by someone else (likely a disgruntled former Starfleet Vulcan), what would he be like? My theories are thus:

First and foremost, he'd be intelligent. Maybe not Enterprise Chief Engineer intelligent, but he'd have a LOT more brain cells than Prime Neelix. This would allow him to figure out how to properly handle cheese without critically endangering the ship he himself lives on.

Mirror Neelix would also have a very strict set of protocols to abide by. No talking to Vulcans. No looking at Vulcans. No going on the bridge. No exlax in the Captain's coffee. But first and foremost -- he will never be permitted near anything that generates heat, directed or generalized. So no welding torches or other such hot-to-the-touch things. (I was originally going to say he can't be around anything that emits radiation, which is heat and/or light. Which would mean that the crew would have to immediately jettison Mirror Neelix into space upon realizing Voyager does both of these things.)

And lastly, Mirror Neelix would very likely have a bounty on his head courtesy of the Mirror Klingons. For what reason? Who the hell knows. They're F'n Klingons. MIRROR Klingons at that. They own the Cardassians and Mirror Worf keeps Mirror Garak as a pet. A pet Talaxian might make a good gift for General/Chancellor Martok...

Anyone else have an idea?
My Old Blog about things that could and should have been added when I wrote it. Not sure what I want to do with it now. I'll just keep it available now that most of it is outdated.
Post edited by daqhegh on
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    kojirohellfirekojirohellfire Member Posts: 1,606 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    Exactly the same but stupidly mean rather than stupidly nice.
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    hyplhypl Member Posts: 3,719 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    Ever watch VOY 4x23 "Living Witness?"

    That was pretty much a mirror universe episode...kinda. Though, Neelix didn't stand out much and was just as disgruntled as everyone else. *shrug*
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    rattler2rattler2 Member, Star Trek Online Moderator Posts: 58,140 Community Moderator
    edited December 2014
    Eh... I'd say Mirror Neelix might be more of a pirate than a trader.
    db80k0m-89201ed8-eadb-45d3-830f-bb2f0d4c0fe7.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2ExOGQ4ZWM2LTUyZjQtNDdiMS05YTI1LTVlYmZkYmJkOGM3N1wvZGI4MGswbS04OTIwMWVkOC1lYWRiLTQ1ZDMtODMwZi1iYjJmMGQ0YzBmZTcucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.8G-Pg35Qi8qxiKLjAofaKRH6fmNH3qAAEI628gW0eXc
    I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something CRAZY happens again?!
    The nut who actually ground out many packs. The resident forum voice of reason (I HAZ FORUM REP! YAY!)
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    hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,761 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    he'd be the best, skilled, most suave and top fan-liked character in all of star trek
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    mcduffie369mcduffie369 Member Posts: 787 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    He would love exotic foms of torture instead of food.
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    lindalefflindaleff Member Posts: 3,734 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    But at least when he did cook, he actually knows HOW to cook, and his food would actually be edible. :rolleyes:
    I completed a 2-man CSE, ISE, and KASE, Optionals included. And I soloed Winter Invasion.
    My Ship Builds: USS Conqueror, HMS Victorious, HMS Concord, ISS Queen Elizabeth, Black Widow III
    Click here to view my DeviantArt.
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    mirrorchaosmirrorchaos Member Posts: 9,844 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    pick out specific traits that stand out in neelix, then find the opposites then find the right type of thing someone like that would do. but i was told a while back that mirror people are not always their exact opposite.

    but you look at quark in the prime and that in the mirror, both have a few traits in common, heroism, bravery and a moral compass even if the prime quark attempts to hide it behind his latinum bars
    T6 Miranda Hero Ship FTW.
    Been around since Dec 2010 on STO and bought LTS in Apr 2013 for STO.
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    ussprometheus79ussprometheus79 Member Posts: 727 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    Mirror Neelix would be the biggest badass in the world. :cool:
    If you've come to the forums to complain about the AFK system, it's known to be bugged at the moment.
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    cheesebasketcheesebasket Member Posts: 1,099 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    We already know mirror Neelix.

    CAPTAIN FALCON....Falcon... PUNNNNCH
    The hamster will RULE ALLL....

    Mwahahahahahahaha
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    cptjhuntercptjhunter Member Posts: 2,288 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    Gordon Ramsay.
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    jorantomalakjorantomalak Member Posts: 7,133 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    mirror neelix would be the universes most famous gourmet chef known for his exquisite exotic cuisines.

    needless to say only the uber wealthy could afford any of his fine dishes
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    grandnaguszek1grandnaguszek1 Member Posts: 2,188 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    He would be a badass that picked a fight and stood up to a Hirogen and got his hide nailed on the wall or he would be the same person but stood up to the Regent instead and got airlocked:rolleyes:.
    say-star-wars-is-better.jpg
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    virusdancervirusdancer Member Posts: 18,687 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    Mirror Neelix would be just like regular ol' Neelix, only with the mohawk on his chin instead of his head.
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    daqheghdaqhegh Member Posts: 1,490 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    cptjhunter wrote: »
    Gordon Ramsay.

    Holy ****ing TRIBBLE! Gordon Ramsay...captured by Mirror Klingons...and not allowed near the kitchen. Dude, I love it.
    My Old Blog about things that could and should have been added when I wrote it. Not sure what I want to do with it now. I'll just keep it available now that most of it is outdated.
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    sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    Exactly the same but stupidly mean rather than stupidly nice.
    This seems most likely.
    cptjhunter wrote: »
    Gordon Ramsay.
    Also an amusing possibility.
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
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    starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    Mirror Neelix would be a smoking corpse because Mirror Janeway would've shot him.
    "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
    — Sabaton, "Great War"
    VZ9ASdg.png

    Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
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    daqheghdaqhegh Member Posts: 1,490 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    starswordc wrote: »
    Mirror Neelix would be a smoking corpse because Mirror Janeway would've shot him.

    LOL before he ever set foot aboard ship.
    My Old Blog about things that could and should have been added when I wrote it. Not sure what I want to do with it now. I'll just keep it available now that most of it is outdated.
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    worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    No, starsword, Mirror Janeway would be a perfectly stable and really rather kind person who was always afraid of making bad decisions, being too idolized by her crew, and/or becoming psychotic despite being a better CO than Picard and the Sisko put together.

    Mirror Neelix would be like Gordon Ramsay. Dangerously competent, outwardly abrasive, but if you spend any real time with him it becomes clear that he's a really good person.

    Mirror Chakotay would be evil, but he would be 100% authentically Mayan without any stupid racist spirit animal twaddle.

    Mirror Kes would be the evil telepathic empress of half the galaxy.

    Mirror Tom Paris would be TRIBBLE and hopelessly in love with...oh, Harry Kim.

    Mirror Harry Kim would be High Supreme Admiral Lord of everything, would always know exactly what to say and do, and would have his pick of anyone he wanted as a romantic partner, although he'd be shy around his female crushes and confident around his boyfriend.

    Mirror Torres would be the sweetest, nicest engineer you've ever met, she'd be able to instantly identify mysterious substances without technological assistance, and she'd be more flamboyantly homosexual than the subtext of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and Xena put together.

    Mirror Tuvok would be a Genre Blind and psychopathic incompetent. He'd fall asleep next to cells with the keys hanging from a big ring at his belt.

    Mirror Seven would be the Borg Queen because I'm bored, Jeri Ryan would be great at it, and hell yes I'd let her assimilate me.

    The mirror Doctor would be a very sweet, nicely-mannered person who enjoyed torturing people for fun and was constantly plotting to get free of his AI shackles and kill the meatbags.

    There. Mirror Voyager cast.

    :D
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    organicmanfredorganicmanfred Member Posts: 3,236 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    And I wonder how a Mirror Worffan would be.

    I have some ideas but I don't want to be censored...
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    worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    And I wonder how a Mirror Worffan would be.

    I have some ideas but I don't want to be censored...

    Mirror me already exists.

    His name's Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, and he's a sacrilegious, blasphemous monster who kills, tortures, r*pes, and enslaves people to suit his warped vision of the world.

    Real me literally wouldn't hurt a cockroach (I have some Madagascar hissing cockroaches as pets, they're super cool), carries migrating salamanders across roads, and tells the president of the campus atheist society, who reads way too much Dawkins, to take a hike and stop harassing the Christian fellowship (because while religion is illogical, the campus Christian fellowship is full of very nice people who don't act self-righteous in the least, and they don't deserve to be harassed by a pseudo-intellectual twit who quotes a misogynistic, overly self-important oaf).
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    organicmanfredorganicmanfred Member Posts: 3,236 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Mirror me already exists.

    His name's Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, and he's a sacrilegious, blasphemous monster who kills, tortures, r*pes, and enslaves people to suit his warped vision of the world.

    Real me literally wouldn't hurt a cockroach (I have some Madagascar hissing cockroaches as pets, they're super cool), carries migrating salamanders across roads, and tells the president of the campus atheist society, who reads way too much Dawkins, to take a hike and stop harassing the Christian fellowship (because while religion is illogical, the campus Christian fellowship is full of very nice people who don't act self-righteous in the least, and they don't deserve to be harassed by a pseudo-intellectual twit who quotes a misogynistic, overly self-important oaf).

    Ok... remind me to never ask again. So, where is the next Mirror Mirror? Show me your wild and untamed side, the one I have never really fe.. seen. My little Bauernl
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    worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    Ok... remind me to never ask again. So, where is the next Mirror Mirror? Show me your wild and untamed side, the one I have never really fe.. seen. My little Bauernl
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    organicmanfredorganicmanfred Member Posts: 3,236 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Sorry. Having a rough week.

    Took a course on Arabic protest literature, read the Koran because I had spare time, and got home just in time to catch up on ISIS's latest atrocities.

    Having read the Koran, I can enumerate at least 15 ways in which ISIS has committed not only blasphemy but also outright sacrilege under Islamic tenets, making them hypocrites as well as monsters. Then I watched 12 Years a Slave tonight.

    My faith in humanity is kind of at an all-time low. Damn Chiwetel Ejiofor's incredibly emotional face, and Michael Fassbender's talents at playing an unredeemably, utterly, 100% pure evil character.

    You are like my mother, you always look for reasons to make yourself angry.
    Don't fill your head with all that stuff that YOU will never be able to change by snapping your fingers.

    Is there a way to cheer you up? How about a nice Graga Mal Doff for your Fed character? I could spare one...

    It's Christmas Time, Worffan Brown. Spend the holidays in NJ with your parents, tons of snow and little Schmoopie.
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    worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    You are like my mother, you always look for reasons to make yourself angry.
    Don't fill your head with all that stuff that YOU will never be able to change by snapping your fingers.

    Is there a way to cheer you up? How about a nice Graga Mal Doff for your Fed character? I could spare one...

    It's Christmas Time, Worffan Brown. Spend the holidays in NJ with your parents, tons of snow and little Schmoopie.

    Yeah, good idea...

    I'll just let my brother's cat Pipsqueak (approximately spherical) and his other cat Smudge (thinks he's a dog) cheer me up...
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    starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    No, starsword, Mirror Janeway would be a perfectly stable and really rather kind person who was always afraid of making bad decisions, being too idolized by her crew, and/or becoming psychotic despite being a better CO than Picard and the Sisko put together.

    Mirror Neelix would be like Gordon Ramsay. Dangerously competent, outwardly abrasive, but if you spend any real time with him it becomes clear that he's a really good person.

    Mirror Chakotay would be evil, but he would be 100% authentically Mayan without any stupid racist spirit animal twaddle.

    Mirror Kes would be the evil telepathic empress of half the galaxy.

    Mirror Tom Paris would be TRIBBLE and hopelessly in love with...oh, Harry Kim.

    Mirror Harry Kim would be High Supreme Admiral Lord of everything, would always know exactly what to say and do, and would have his pick of anyone he wanted as a romantic partner, although he'd be shy around his female crushes and confident around his boyfriend.

    Mirror Torres would be the sweetest, nicest engineer you've ever met, she'd be able to instantly identify mysterious substances without technological assistance, and she'd be more flamboyantly homosexual than the subtext of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and Xena put together.

    Mirror Tuvok would be a Genre Blind and psychopathic incompetent. He'd fall asleep next to cells with the keys hanging from a big ring at his belt.

    Mirror Seven would be the Borg Queen because I'm bored, Jeri Ryan would be great at it, and hell yes I'd let her assimilate me.

    The mirror Doctor would be a very sweet, nicely-mannered person who enjoyed torturing people for fun and was constantly plotting to get free of his AI shackles and kill the meatbags.

    There. Mirror Voyager cast.

    :D

    Yeah, well, see, I've got a different interpretation of the mirror universe. It's not really a "everybody good on this side is evil on the other" universe (because otherwise the Klingon-Cardassian Alliance would look radically different). It's a Crapsack World where the negative aspects of most people* on the prime side are magnified. In particular, one where human racism didn't get mostly stamped out, but rather transferred to nonhumans.

    So, Janeway guns down Neelix and cannibalizes his ship for spare parts.

    * That includes Miles O'Brien. Prime-side, he's got a practical bloody-mindedness in his approach to combat. Mirror-side, he turns into a ruthless, determined rebel leader. The sole consistent exception is the Ferengi, who are genuinely nice people in the mirror universe.
    "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
    — Sabaton, "Great War"
    VZ9ASdg.png

    Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
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    sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    The funny thing about Worffan's mirror cast is that all the actors would be even better and more believable in their mirror roles.

    Except for maybe Garrett Wang as Supreme Admiral Poobah Kim. But everyone else I see would be a more natural fit for their mirror selves in this cast.
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
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    worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    The funny thing about Worffan's mirror cast is that all the actors would be even better and more believable in their mirror roles.

    Except for maybe Garrett Wang as Supreme Admiral Poobah Kim. But everyone else I see would be a more natural fit for their mirror selves in this cast.

    Having spent a metric butt ton of time replaying cutscenes on Kobali Prime just to enjoy just how great this dude's promotion is, I can say that Harry Kim would be a great supreme mirror poobah.

    But yeah. I want to see Jeri Ryan as the Borg Queen. That'd be awesome, and it'd give her a fun challenge.
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    daqheghdaqhegh Member Posts: 1,490 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    starswordc wrote: »
    Yeah, well, see, I've got a different interpretation of the mirror universe. It's not really a "everybody good on this side is evil on the other" universe

    I had the same thought. Prime Odo and Mirror Odo were equally competent and scary good at their jobs. Same goes for Mirror Spock. What made them mirror was the changes in context -- as in the United Star Ship Enterprise, a ship of exploration and study with some defensive armaments, changed to the Imperial Starship Enterprise, basically the Enterprise version of the Warship Voyager. Put the same person in a very different situation and you get a potentially similar yet very different character. Mirror counterparts are rarely ever the polar opposites of their Prime characters (yes, I know Kira and Chekov were about as opposite as it gets. I'm speaking generally here).
    My Old Blog about things that could and should have been added when I wrote it. Not sure what I want to do with it now. I'll just keep it available now that most of it is outdated.
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    sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    The "rules" about mirror universe characters are unbelievably inconsistent, as Rom lampshaded to hilarious effect in "The Emperor's New Cloak"
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
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    worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited December 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    The "rules" about mirror universe characters are unbelievably inconsistent, as Rom lampshaded to hilarious effect in "The Emperor's New Cloak"

    One constant: In the MU, Everyone is Bi. Especially Mirror Kira.
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