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Poorly named Ships and their hilariously ironic fates
moonshadowdark
Member Posts: 1,899 Arc User
So I have been alternating between the forums and the game for the past hour or so and I just left the best Undine gate run I have ever had the privilege to be in. Not because we won with full marks or anything. I left halfway in because I was laughing so hard.
I zoned into the run and it's the waiting phase. In that time, I like to pan the cam and see who's on my team and read the names of the ships. You get your usual rip offs like eNterprize or Voyager4, or your real world names like the Davis and, a favorite of our Worffan, George Takei. Well I read off the names. We got the Rainbow Bright (Retro!), the Denver (Someone just hit random), the Kardashian (Someone call the cops because that person is mentally incompetent.) but the real jewel of the run is a Defiant Variant in Lane 1 named, get this:
The U.S.S. Timber.
Now I pay this no real mind, it's just a name at the time. But then the run starts. You know how it splits up the team into pairs of twos between the three lanes? Well the Timber is pair with Rainbow and that player seems to have afk'd before we started. Well, he did not inform the Timber and they go full impulse into the battle. I don't know what their ship's configuration was, but this kid gets utterly WRECKED. He goes belly up within the first minutes. But he keeps respawning and going in. I'd admire his persistence, but then he starts getting mouthy. "Ugh, Rainbow, why are you sitting there?" "You're so effing useless" "I'm getting spanked, buttwipes!".
Someone tells him to hang back and repair, he responses rudely with "Eff you, mind your own business, nub." Now I'm just rolling in Lane 2 and blasting these Undine without effort because I got the Odyssey and a competent Romulan Warbird as a partner. I'm getting tired of his attitude, so I tell him to just get in our lane and we'd get Lane 1 later. He does and, of course, gets blown apart by flying ahead alone. So he keeps whining and I tell him to chill. "Eff you and your stupid Pay2Win ship!" is his eloquent rebuttal. Now, I did not buy my Oddy. I earned it fair and square with that event that paid out 50k Dil and converted it into Zen. I EARNED my nice ship and I got a little defensive. So I just bust out and tell him the following:
"Shut up, you little [Phaser sound], you shouldn't even have come here anyway."
"eff u u cant tell me wat to do"
"Serious, dude. You were screwed in this run from the start. Hell you are always fated to explode."
"y is that"
"Because any idiot know that a ship named Timber always goes down."
My Rommy partner just dies in chat. He says he's laughing, Timber Boy is raging and Lane 3 is typing out lyrics to Pitbull and Kesha. Ultimately I had to go because I was laughing so hard at Lane 3's shenanigans and because we weren't making any progress with Timber's terrible ship and Rainbow still oddly afk.
I gotta admit, the whole concept of a ship named Timber going down repeatedly had me tickled.
I zoned into the run and it's the waiting phase. In that time, I like to pan the cam and see who's on my team and read the names of the ships. You get your usual rip offs like eNterprize or Voyager4, or your real world names like the Davis and, a favorite of our Worffan, George Takei. Well I read off the names. We got the Rainbow Bright (Retro!), the Denver (Someone just hit random), the Kardashian (Someone call the cops because that person is mentally incompetent.) but the real jewel of the run is a Defiant Variant in Lane 1 named, get this:
The U.S.S. Timber.
Now I pay this no real mind, it's just a name at the time. But then the run starts. You know how it splits up the team into pairs of twos between the three lanes? Well the Timber is pair with Rainbow and that player seems to have afk'd before we started. Well, he did not inform the Timber and they go full impulse into the battle. I don't know what their ship's configuration was, but this kid gets utterly WRECKED. He goes belly up within the first minutes. But he keeps respawning and going in. I'd admire his persistence, but then he starts getting mouthy. "Ugh, Rainbow, why are you sitting there?" "You're so effing useless" "I'm getting spanked, buttwipes!".
Someone tells him to hang back and repair, he responses rudely with "Eff you, mind your own business, nub." Now I'm just rolling in Lane 2 and blasting these Undine without effort because I got the Odyssey and a competent Romulan Warbird as a partner. I'm getting tired of his attitude, so I tell him to just get in our lane and we'd get Lane 1 later. He does and, of course, gets blown apart by flying ahead alone. So he keeps whining and I tell him to chill. "Eff you and your stupid Pay2Win ship!" is his eloquent rebuttal. Now, I did not buy my Oddy. I earned it fair and square with that event that paid out 50k Dil and converted it into Zen. I EARNED my nice ship and I got a little defensive. So I just bust out and tell him the following:
"Shut up, you little [Phaser sound], you shouldn't even have come here anyway."
"eff u u cant tell me wat to do"
"Serious, dude. You were screwed in this run from the start. Hell you are always fated to explode."
"y is that"
"Because any idiot know that a ship named Timber always goes down."
My Rommy partner just dies in chat. He says he's laughing, Timber Boy is raging and Lane 3 is typing out lyrics to Pitbull and Kesha. Ultimately I had to go because I was laughing so hard at Lane 3's shenanigans and because we weren't making any progress with Timber's terrible ship and Rainbow still oddly afk.
I gotta admit, the whole concept of a ship named Timber going down repeatedly had me tickled.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP"
-Leonard Nimoy, RIP
-Leonard Nimoy, RIP
Post edited by moonshadowdark on
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— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
I once saw a ship coming out of ESD named U.S.S. Hindenburg.
Needless to say, I put on the Quantum Slipstream and got the hell outta there.
-Leonard Nimoy, RIP
normal text = me speaking as fellow formite
colored text = mod mode
If it was an Ambassador, that might've been me...
The ship name was "Indomitable."
Needless to say, pride goeth before the 'splosions.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
What was said in chat was priceless, he said that this partnership is unlucky, he was proven right as I got one popped by a tac cube.
Later found out why the partnership was was unlucky, HMS Ark Royal was sunk during WW2 sailing in the same task force as Illustrious.
oh the irony
-Lord Commander Solar Macharius
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
I think we're seeing the other side of the coin here.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Ark Royal was torpedoed by a german U-Boat in 1941
-Lord Commander Solar Macharius
One of my lower level ships I named "The Arcadia" never blew up once.
my diplomatic character (RP ish character) started with the U.S.S. too-much-coffee-for-janeway-to-handle
my aggressive romulan started with the R.R.W. probably-gonna-explode-in-your-face
my reman inquisitor, was named "R.R.W. spy-goggles-in-your-face"
and my cowardly klingon started with the "I.K.S. dont-bother-me-im-taking-a-bath"
i find it amusing should anyone see that character for its first 10 levels.
My faves on the not-so-good list are:
USS BUTPLUG
USS ANGINA
USS BOOM
and my fave: USS STO-SUX
Basically, this took place in during the 1700's or 1800's and it was about contract law regarding the delivery of cargo from the UK to the US. The name of the ship was the Peerless and it was supposed to deliver a specific cargo, but when it arrived in the states, the cargo was not there. This eventually went to court due to a breach of contract.
The matter was resolved when the "real" Peerless came into port to deliver the goods. Apparently, the were delayed due to bad weather. After further research it was discovered that there were a total of 3 British ships the was named "Peerless" which did commerce between the US and the UK during the same period of time.
Apparently, the Peerless was not so peerless after all...
I always call my romulan ships that romulan curse word that Riker used, varule.
All it's shuttlecraft are named "GERALD!"
It seems to be able to pull lots of aggro, no matter what map we are on.
HMS Invincible also blew up at Jutland, so that name is asking for trouble
-Lord Commander Solar Macharius
Wax wings need buffed, Cryptic.
[EDIT] Actually, that's not poorly named at all, just funny. Sorry.
Got a good laugh from the rest of the team.
WTF is with Oberths, anyway? I see a lot of Oberth hate, and it makes no sense since it's a cool-looking ship and comes with a special console.
(I say this as someone who's never flown an Oberth).
Aaaaah. Redshirt ship. I see. :cool:
Yeah. It started with the Grissom and Saratoga in STIII and IV and things went downhill from there.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/