I think my son was about a year old when he first got me in the family jewels with an absent minded kick. He won that day, but one day I'll get my revenge! I think when I'm old and infirm I'll sneak a ball smack in just before I croak.
I once had a twelve-year-old girl clock me in the head with an SCA greatsword. We were doing a demo at her school and she had just seen another girl do the same. The difference was that I was wearing a helmet when the first girl hit me, and i knew it was coming. Evidently, the second girl had some "behavioral issues".
Yes, it hurt.
It also caused me to favor the death penalty for juveniles for a short period of time. That wore off, though.
I think my son was about a year old when he first got me in the family jewels with an absent minded kick. He won that day, but one day I'll get my revenge! I think when I'm old and infirm I'll sneak a ball smack in just before I croak.
Heh, he'll have written a beautiful and touching eulogy.
You'll smack him in the balls.
He'll scratch it out, and at the funeral... "My father was a b*stard. May he rot in hell."
I once had a twelve-year-old girl clock me in the head with an SCA greatsword. We were doing a demo at her school and she had just seen another girl do the same. The difference was that I was wearing a helmet when the first girl hit me, and i knew it was coming. Evidently, the second girl had some "behavioral issues".
Yes, it hurt.
It also caused me to favor the death penalty for juveniles for a short period of time. That wore off, though.
Oh, gotta love those kids with behavioral issues.
Like the time in grade school when we had a cop come in to do one of those happy little cliche "don't break the law" presentations. One of the first things he said was, "I am real policeman, and yes, this is a real gun on my hip. If you try to grab it, I'm trained to break your arm on reflex." Naturally, there was that one kid in the class with A.D.D. who heard, "This is a real gun, try to grab it."
I believe it. I imagine your creation involved a pile of biker jackets, some strange DNA sequenced material, the only known Big Foot fur samples now lost forever and Gamma rays. But I can imagine pretty much anything so take it for what its worth.
Trust me, you have NO IDEA how bad 3's can be. The three-year-old class at my school *shudders*... it's like a teacher's nightmare.
You know how's there's always that one kid who just won't listen and throws insane tantrums all the time? This class has about 10 of them.
I've seriously tried every single trick in the book to try and get them so just settle down for 5 minutes. The only thing that has ever worked was giving them each a silly band if they behaved the whole day.
Silly bands? Lol thats a huge and ridiculous fad at my school right now. Everyone competes to get the sharks, and occasionally the elusive hedgehog. Immaturity at its best...:rolleyes:
Silly bands? Lol thats a huge and ridiculous fad at my school right now. Everyone competes to get the sharks, and occasionally the elusive hedgehog. Immaturity at its best...:rolleyes:
Psh. I have Mothman, The Jersey Devil, and Bigfoot. Beat that.
Pogs is a game that was popular during the 1990s. The word "pog" also refers to the discs used to play the game. The name originates from POG, a brand of juice made from passionfruit, orange and guava; the use of the POG bottle caps to play the game pre-dated the game's commercialization. The game of pogs possibly originated in Hawaii in the 1920s or 1930s, or possibly with origins in a game from much earlier: Menko, a Japanese card game very similar to pogs, has been in existence since the 17th century. Pogs returned to popularity when the World POG Federation and the Canada Games Company reintroduced them to the public in the 1990s. The pog fad soared in the early 1990s before rapidly fading out.
Pogs is a game that was popular during the 1990s. The word "pog" also refers to the discs used to play the game. The name originates from POG, a brand of juice made from passionfruit, orange and guava; the use of the POG bottle caps to play the game pre-dated the game's commercialization. The game of pogs possibly originated in Hawaii in the 1920s or 1930s, or possibly with origins in a game from much earlier: Menko, a Japanese card game very similar to pogs, has been in existence since the 17th century. Pogs returned to popularity when the World POG Federation and the Canada Games Company reintroduced them to the public in the 1990s. The pog fad soared in the early 1990s before rapidly fading out.
omg I ****ing loved those. I got a OJ Simpson slammer pog when he killed his wife cause I was so like, 'OJ is going in the slammer yo'.
When my son was 1, a teenager in the neighborhood decided to lift him up. William stated quite clearly that he did not care to be picked up at that moment. I told the teenager it was probably not a good idea to pick William if he did not want to be picked up. The teenager being a teenager did not listen to me and picked William up any way. William balled up his fist and held it way behind him, and when he got to eye level, he through an around the world punch, that definately bloodied and possibly broke the teenager's nose. The teenager went home crying never to bother William again.
When my son was 1, a teenager in the neighborhood decided to lift him up. William stated quite clearly that he did not care to be picked up at that moment. I told the teenager it was probably not a good idea to pick William if he did not want to be picked up. The teenager being a teenager did not listen to me and picked William up any way. William balled up his fist and held it way behind him, and when he got to eye level, he through an around the world punch, that definately bloodied and possibly broke the teenager's nose. The teenager went home crying never to bother William again.
this is where i'm glad i'm a panda... all my babies only weigh like 2-3 lbs and they are very tiny.... and when they get bigger they just get soft and fluffy like a pillow...
pretty hard to get hurt when you get tackled by hordes of tiny hungry playful pillows >_>
i wonder why platypus hasn't commented, i'm curious to find out what kind of motherly insticts an egg laying mammal has >_>;
When my son was 1, a teenager in the neighborhood decided to lift him up. William stated quite clearly that he did not care to be picked up at that moment. I told the teenager it was probably not a good idea to pick William if he did not want to be picked up. The teenager being a teenager did not listen to me and picked William up any way. William balled up his fist and held it way behind him, and when he got to eye level, he through an around the world punch, that definately bloodied and possibly broke the teenager's nose. The teenager went home crying never to bother William again.
Actually, I was very short growing up, as was my father when he was growing up. We both ended up above average after we stopped growing in our twenties, but we were definately short in our youth.
Anybody that has grown up short will tell you it is a brutal existence. Everybody loves to try to shove the short guy into the trash can. So you can either become adept at stealth and running or you can become a skilled fighter. We learn both from a very young age in my family, though we are not much for running.
My father began teaching me hand to hand combat at a young age, starting with basic boxing. I did much the same with my sons, but I began working with them before they could walk.
Fortunately as the twins have grown they have remained about average in height, so they have been able to avoid much of the conflict I had to deal with growing up, but if they had to...
Comments
Don't let it go to your head, she's the nice one. *MALLET*
Yes, it hurt.
It also caused me to favor the death penalty for juveniles for a short period of time. That wore off, though.
Heh, he'll have written a beautiful and touching eulogy.
You'll smack him in the balls.
He'll scratch it out, and at the funeral... "My father was a b*stard. May he rot in hell."
Oh, gotta love those kids with behavioral issues.
Like the time in grade school when we had a cop come in to do one of those happy little cliche "don't break the law" presentations. One of the first things he said was, "I am real policeman, and yes, this is a real gun on my hip. If you try to grab it, I'm trained to break your arm on reflex." Naturally, there was that one kid in the class with A.D.D. who heard, "This is a real gun, try to grab it."
That cop wasn't joking.
Thats the plan! I want to die a reviled man. No particular reason. Mainly cause I DARE TO BE...
has never actually been 1 year old
true story.
I believe it. I imagine your creation involved a pile of biker jackets, some strange DNA sequenced material, the only known Big Foot fur samples now lost forever and Gamma rays. But I can imagine pretty much anything so take it for what its worth.
How does a toddler throw an entire fricking fireman at you?
....Just how?
Suuuuuuuper Toddler!
Silly bands? Lol thats a huge and ridiculous fad at my school right now. Everyone competes to get the sharks, and occasionally the elusive hedgehog. Immaturity at its best...:rolleyes:
Psh. I have Mothman, The Jersey Devil, and Bigfoot. Beat that.
Along with like 20 more. :rolleyes:
Beat that!
Back in my day we had circle rubber band bracelets. And they had uh, alternate meanings. lol.
No idea. However they are the foundation on which all current landfills are built.
Pogs is a game that was popular during the 1990s. The word "pog" also refers to the discs used to play the game. The name originates from POG, a brand of juice made from passionfruit, orange and guava; the use of the POG bottle caps to play the game pre-dated the game's commercialization. The game of pogs possibly originated in Hawaii in the 1920s or 1930s, or possibly with origins in a game from much earlier: Menko, a Japanese card game very similar to pogs, has been in existence since the 17th century. Pogs returned to popularity when the World POG Federation and the Canada Games Company reintroduced them to the public in the 1990s. The pog fad soared in the early 1990s before rapidly fading out.
They will be punished.
omg I ****ing loved those. I got a OJ Simpson slammer pog when he killed his wife cause I was so like, 'OJ is going in the slammer yo'.
ROFL I remember that one! everybody wanted one.
An entire firema--
(is shot)
That's what *I* thought when I first read this, too!
Pretty strong for a kid to pick up a WHOLE FIREMAN and launch him at a gal!
But, reading on destroyed this illusion...
Sir, your son is badass.
I'll second that.
When he said "I love you" it meant he was about to give you a head butt. His twin brother is even meaner.
pretty hard to get hurt when you get tackled by hordes of tiny hungry playful pillows >_>
i wonder why platypus hasn't commented, i'm curious to find out what kind of motherly insticts an egg laying mammal has >_>;
Are you...Chuck Norris? :eek:
Or maybe he divine-visited your household?
Well it's obvious.
This man's son sprung from his head fully formed and armed for battle.
It's the only logical assumption.
Anybody that has grown up short will tell you it is a brutal existence. Everybody loves to try to shove the short guy into the trash can. So you can either become adept at stealth and running or you can become a skilled fighter. We learn both from a very young age in my family, though we are not much for running.
My father began teaching me hand to hand combat at a young age, starting with basic boxing. I did much the same with my sons, but I began working with them before they could walk.
Fortunately as the twins have grown they have remained about average in height, so they have been able to avoid much of the conflict I had to deal with growing up, but if they had to...