It may not end well worffan. Or it may end spectacularly awesome if D'Elon completes her mission. It's one of those all or nothing things.
I've finally come up with a way to do Prompt 2. So expect it sometimes.
*******************************************
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Any chance I can get anyone else's thoughts on my entry? (Note: I split it into a two-parter to keep each part a reasonable length. First part is split into two posts (because when I proofed the first part, the edit function decided to cut the last 5 lines or so... note to self, use advanced edit in future), but you can find them on the first page here: 1 and 2. Part Two is here.
Or, alternatively, they're both collected here. /shamelessplug :P
And up. I've been watching Farscape, and as such, Naahz and Trarsk are blatantly based on Zhaan and Stark. So they would be played by Virginia Hey and Paul Goddard respectively.
And Claire Dotson is played by Denise Richards still.
*******************************************
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Good way to squeeze the prompt into your ongoing story, I thought, Grylak. And I guess I've been watching too much YouTube - when someone's going around recording their day, I keep expecting the screen to show a tall, thin, faceless man in a dark business suit that no one seems to notice at the time...
And up. I've been watching Farscape, and as such, Naahz and Trarsk are blatantly based on Zhaan and Stark. So they would be played by Virginia Hey and Paul Goddard respectively.
And Claire Dotson is played by Denise Richards still.
Well, that was fun. The Farscape references were nice; admittedly, I don't know a huge amount about the later seasons of that show; I only saw Season 1 and enough of season 2 to really like Scorpius as a villain.
The format and creative interpretation of the prompt were both very nice. Great story!
I must say that I am much more taken by the Karrank}{ and Mellvor}{ than the rest of the piece. While your writing is stellar as usual, I would've liked the piece just the same without the I'K'rR'h bit and with half of the Ael scenes. IMHO, this just means that you did a great job with Mellvor}{ and I'm a sucker for cool aliens, but take it as you will.
I have to admit, reading back, I also enjoy the Mellvor}{ section the most, but I don't think Mellvor}{ has what it takes to sustain an entire entry Mainly, I wanted to show Federation/Starfleet diversity, in response to the Karrank}{ diplomatic rant (which will become more clear when posted...) and took the opportunity to shuffle I'K'rR'h back off to the Academy
I have to admit, reading back, I also enjoy the Mellvor}{ section the most, but I don't think Mellvor}{ has what it takes to sustain an entire entry Mainly, I wanted to show Federation/Starfleet diversity, in response to the Karrank}{ diplomatic rant (which will become more clear when posted...) and took the opportunity to shuffle I'K'rR'h back off to the Academy
Mmh, it's a personal thing here. I LOVE exploring alien cultures, biologies, languages...
The stranger, the better.
And, of course, Mellvor}{ has ATTITUDE.
Anyway...I just remembered that I need to make an actual plot for and finish that story I emailed you, sander233, and patrickngo. Tomorrow will be busy for me...
Mmh, it's a personal thing here. I LOVE exploring alien cultures, biologies, languages...
The stranger, the better.
And, of course, Mellvor}{ has ATTITUDE.
Anyway...I just remembered that I need to make an actual plot for and finish that story I emailed you, sander233, and patrickngo. Tomorrow will be busy for me...
The Karrank}{ are patrickngo's creation, I just thought of the }{ And yes, Mellvor}{ does, but attitude alone isn't enough to keep a character interesting for long periods, his future appearances will likely be 'blink and you'll miss it' scenarios, not extended focus :cool:
And that's up to you, but I would say to be mindful of not writing just for the sake of 'generating output'
The Karrank}{ are patrickngo's creation, I just thought of the }{ And yes, Mellvor}{ does, but attitude alone isn't enough to keep a character interesting for long periods, his future appearances will likely be 'blink and you'll miss it' scenarios, not extended focus :cool:
And that's up to you, but I would say to be mindful of not writing just for the sake of 'generating output'
I'd love to see more Karrank}{ culture and biology, and if Mellvor}{ is part of those lessons, so much the better.
Heh, I'm having fun. And I've basically got nothing better to do than write for writing's sake, so...
That'll have to come from patrickngo, I just see angry space badgers
Heh. My original concept for the Ha'ni? Lizard people. That was it.
Then I spent a half-hour picking a couple of really cool lizards and basing them off of those.
Then I added whatever came to mind and made sense. I took a break around 45 minutes into my brainstorming session to read the day's update of "Girl Genius", and came up with the zin, who are heavily inspired by the GG 'verse's "sparks".
Heh. My original concept for the Ha'ni? Lizard people. That was it.
Then I spent a half-hour picking a couple of really cool lizards and basing them off of those.
Then I added whatever came to mind and made sense. I took a break around 45 minutes into my brainstorming session to read the day's update of "Girl Genius", and came up with the zin, who are heavily inspired by the GG 'verse's "sparks".
Inspiration's inspiration, as long as it works, it works :cool:
Meaning...my writing isn't as good as it has been? Or do you mean the Ba'al joke?
- The technical aspect of your writing is as strong as ever, and it's not even something I can put my finger on to say exactly what it is, but it seems you're writing out of boredom, rather than trying to 'tell a story' if that makes any sense?
- The Ba'al joke's just not my bag, but reminds me of a random thread on an old forum (actually misspelled 'threwad' which ran to over a hundred odd pages of random conversation. After that, any thread which simply 'ran on', got designated as a threwad
- The technical aspect of your writing is as strong as ever, and it's not even something I can put my finger on to say exactly what it is, but it seems you're writing out of boredom, rather than trying to 'tell a story' if that makes any sense?
- The Ba'al joke's just not my bag, but reminds me of a random thread on an old forum (actually misspelled 'threwad' which ran to over a hundred odd pages of random conversation. After that, any thread which simply 'ran on', got designated as a threwad
--I would call it...writing organically, rather than going into it with a plan. It's just a less structured version of my regular process.
Basically, I'm pretty much always at my computer these days, so when I get an idea, I just write it down and go from there. It's gone pretty darn well so far; that D'trel fic I wrote for this LC was me getting a great idea while sitting at home bored out of my skull because my "date" for a play got sick and couldn't go.
--LOL! At this point it's a sprawling, franchise-breaching light RP. A crew consisting of Marcus Kane, Jimmi Hendrix, and Shadar Haran (from the Wheel of Tme series) would not be out of place in it. Heck, the Doctor, two Old Ones, and an inside-out TARDIS would not be out of place. I think we already had the Daleks at one point, actually...
--I would call it...writing organically, rather than going into it with a plan. It's just a less structured version of my regular process.
Basically, I'm pretty much always at my computer these days, so when I get an idea, I just write it down and go from there. It's gone pretty darn well so far; that D'trel fic I wrote for this LC was me getting a great idea while sitting at home bored out of my skull because my "date" for a play got sick and couldn't go.
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it, just as mentioned, the boredom comes across, and there's a whole lot of internets to cure boredom
--LOL! At this point it's a sprawling, franchise-breaching light RP. A crew consisting of Marcus Kane, Jimmi Hendrix, and Shadar Haran (from the Wheel of Tme series) would not be out of place in it. Heck, the Doctor, two Old Ones, and an inside-out TARDIS would not be out of place. I think we already had the Daleks at one point, actually...
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it, just as mentioned, the boredom comes across, and there's a whole lot of internets to cure boredom
But...I'm supposed to be working on controlling my blood pressure!
Yeah, I'm not particularly interested in surfing teh intraweebs for dumb things Louie Gohmert's said, or paranoid conspiracy nuttery, or other generic human stupidity, right now. I should get the new Brandon Sanderson novella in a few days, at least, that ought to help.
I DID get to have a terrific time with Sander233, Jonsills, and Grylak last night. Three, Jesu LaRoca, Grunt, and (IIRC) Stunshock ran Viscous Cycle for the first time and blew the Undine to heck.
Three, Jesu LaRoca, Grunt, and (IIRC) Stunshock ran Viscous Cycle for the first time and blew the Undine to heck.
And in the process proved that the Risian Cruiser is more than just a pretty toy. I got slowed down sometimes because I lost track of which way everyone was (a hazard of those lemon jello things floating around), but I think the RXS Latinum Princess did pretty respectably.
And in the process proved that the Risian Cruiser is more than just a pretty toy. I got slowed down sometimes because I lost track of which way everyone was (a hazard of those lemon jello things floating around), but I think the RXS Latinum Princess did pretty respectably.
The good old genre-savvily-modified George Takei (incidentally sporting the kit that Three mentions having installed in the epilogue of "Invasion" didn't blow up once.
And Jonsills, you absolutely MUST write a fic about that Viscous Cycle run.
Grunt, PWNing Undine in a cruise ship?
EPIC.
And indeed, those yellow snot bubbles were...disorienting.
But...I'm supposed to be working on controlling my blood pressure!
Yeah, I'm not particularly interested in surfing teh intraweebs for dumb things Louie Gohmert's said, or paranoid conspiracy nuttery, or other generic human stupidity, right now. I should get the new Brandon Sanderson novella in a few days, at least, that ought to help.
I DID get to have a terrific time with Sander233, Jonsills, and Grylak last night. Three, Jesu LaRoca, Grunt, and (IIRC) Stunshock ran Viscous Cycle for the first time and blew the Undine to heck.
And it gave me quite a few great ideas.
Sounds good, I'll keep an eye out for something :cool:
Sounds good, I'll keep an eye out for something :cool:
Won't be happening, but thanks :cool:
--I was thinking of asking jonsills if he wanted to do a collab. Maybe grylak, too, but grylak seems to be pretty busy with the Viper situation at the moment...
--Pity. You have a unique form of talent that the Glorious Regime (and the RP/joke) could use.
--I was thinking of asking jonsills if he wanted to do a collab. Maybe grylak, too, but grylak seems to be pretty busy with the Viper situation at the moment...
--Pity. You have a unique form of talent that the Glorious Regime (and the RP/joke) could use.
I'll keep an eye out :cool: And not my bag, but thanks :cool:
Thanks guys. As for farscape, I haven't seen it for ten years, but a channel here has started showing them. And Scorpius is a brilliant villain. He lacks any moral ambiguity or greyness I like in villains, but he was played so wonderfully.
Good way to squeeze the prompt into your ongoing story, I thought, Grylak. And I guess I've been watching too much YouTube - when someone's going around recording their day, I keep expecting the screen to show a tall, thin, faceless man in a dark business suit that no one seems to notice at the time...
You wouldn't be talking about those who love silence, by any chance? Heh.
I'd be up for a collab. My replies might be a bit slow, and if you want to make it lc canon, it could be set before viper was lost in lc 64, and swap stunshock and sentinel for talaina and viper.
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A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
I'd be up for a collab. My replies might be a bit slow, and if you want to make it lc canon, it could be set before viper was lost in lc 64, and swap stunshock and sentinel for talaina and viper.
You up for something like that, jonsills? Grunt in the love boat, the psychopath in her Avenger, and the Viper versus 99% of fluidic space?
I've been hoping talaina and three might cross paths one day. Talaina is so military strict, compared to three's... Crazyness, talaina has a bit of a poor view of three based on records.
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A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
I've been hoping talaina and three might cross paths one day. Talaina is so military strict, compared to three's... Crazyness, talaina has a bit of a poor view of three based on records.
And yes, more descriptive writing is better. For example:
"The polaron cannons fired, brilliant purple pulses streaking across empty space and slamming against the warbird's shields, which flickered and died".
Stuff like that is generally more engaging than stuff like
"[character X] fired the dual protonic polaron heavy cannons, breaching the warbird's shields."
"Coruscating" is also a particularly useful adjective, you can use "lance" as both a noun and a verb for beam weapons, etc.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
@cmdrscarlet: Thanks! If you like Orions...you're gonna love the wrap up to this 'Dark Matter' storyline of mine...
@worffan101: Thank you! Karma has a way of coming back and smiting those who deserve it...Icky and Durak both meet the qualifiers for being huge targets. As for the Theseus, the mess isn't over yet...not by a long shot...and I wouldn't be too sure that it's really the Bonaventure rushing in to save the day! I've got a 'whuck' twist going on, and I was going to reveal it in this story, but decided to wait for a future LC. But the hint is there for what the twist is...
Reviews!
@starswordc: You did a really great job of presenting an 'alien' way of thought in this piece. Enjoyed it! (But, as someone of Italian descent, I must say, "There is *no* such thing as the Mafia.")
@aten66: Question...if 4028 is supposed to be a semi-secret facility, why are they pumping out so much comm traffic that a 2 hour silence is enough to warrant a response? (Spoiler) You let Lore go free? Did Gregs get his head knocked a little too hard during the fight? Good tale!
@cmdrscarlet: Loved it! The line, "No more favors...Scarlet Scorpion" demands a backstory to detail the nickname & how they got to a point where favors are exchanged. Demands it!
@ryan218: To Cmdr Allington...Ryan, if you're gonna hide your comm badge, maybe try the inseam of your pants? :P Nice bluff to resolve the issue. Enjoyed the story!
@icerose20: after all the deceit, I'm not sure if the average Romulan is going to buy the 'peace' offered by Mirror Hakeem. For writing, I'd vary the descriptors...maybe pummel, then assault, then battered, etc. One more nit that seemed out of Trek for me; both ships using point defense systems brought up images of BSG where they're sending up a wall of flak to intercept projectiles. But an enjoyable tale nonetheless.
@proteusrex: so that's what CSI:Starfleet is gonna be like? Cool! (But now I've got the music cue after the :cool: 'yeaaah!' on loop in my mind...gotta hate it when that happens...) Love the dig at the lohlunat festival...I feel the same way! That ending though...*shudder*. (Your casting choices - yep, the warden *is* Kurtwood Smith, and a great choice for Ren...Mr. Ivanek does a great job of portraying characters I hate, from "Oz" to "Lost".)
@grylak: I think you meant posterity instead of prosperity...unless Jenna thinks she's going to get a nice paycheck! I enjoyed the story...but the new passengers....I've got a bad feeling about this...
Any feedback on my second story would be appreciated...I'm trying to improve as a writer, and without feedback, I'm gonna keep dishing out the same stuff. Unless y'all *like* the stuff as is...but then you've got to tell me you like it so there's, like, incentive to keep dishing it out...;)
Comments
I've finally come up with a way to do Prompt 2. So expect it sometimes.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
I shall! :cool:
Or, alternatively, they're both collected here. /shamelessplug :P
Thanks in advance!
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
And Claire Dotson is played by Denise Richards still.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Well, that was fun. The Farscape references were nice; admittedly, I don't know a huge amount about the later seasons of that show; I only saw Season 1 and enough of season 2 to really like Scorpius as a villain.
The format and creative interpretation of the prompt were both very nice. Great story!
Mmh, it's a personal thing here. I LOVE exploring alien cultures, biologies, languages...
The stranger, the better.
And, of course, Mellvor}{ has ATTITUDE.
Anyway...I just remembered that I need to make an actual plot for and finish that story I emailed you, sander233, and patrickngo. Tomorrow will be busy for me...
The Karrank}{ are patrickngo's creation, I just thought of the }{
And that's up to you, but I would say to be mindful of not writing just for the sake of 'generating output'
I'd love to see more Karrank}{ culture and biology, and if Mellvor}{ is part of those lessons, so much the better.
Heh, I'm having fun. And I've basically got nothing better to do than write for writing's sake, so...
In the nicest possible way -- it shows...
Then I spent a half-hour picking a couple of really cool lizards and basing them off of those.
Then I added whatever came to mind and made sense. I took a break around 45 minutes into my brainstorming session to read the day's update of "Girl Genius", and came up with the zin, who are heavily inspired by the GG 'verse's "sparks". Meaning...my writing isn't as good as it has been? Or do you mean the Ba'al joke?
- The technical aspect of your writing is as strong as ever, and it's not even something I can put my finger on to say exactly what it is, but it seems you're writing out of boredom, rather than trying to 'tell a story' if that makes any sense?
- The Ba'al joke's just not my bag, but reminds me of a random thread on an old forum (actually misspelled 'threwad' which ran to over a hundred odd pages of random conversation. After that, any thread which simply 'ran on', got designated as a threwad
Basically, I'm pretty much always at my computer these days, so when I get an idea, I just write it down and go from there. It's gone pretty darn well so far; that D'trel fic I wrote for this LC was me getting a great idea while sitting at home bored out of my skull because my "date" for a play got sick and couldn't go.
--LOL! At this point it's a sprawling, franchise-breaching light RP. A crew consisting of Marcus Kane, Jimmi Hendrix, and Shadar Haran (from the Wheel of Tme series) would not be out of place in it. Heck, the Doctor, two Old Ones, and an inside-out TARDIS would not be out of place. I think we already had the Daleks at one point, actually...
As above, not my bag, but TEHO :cool:
Yeah, I'm not particularly interested in surfing teh intraweebs for dumb things Louie Gohmert's said, or paranoid conspiracy nuttery, or other generic human stupidity, right now. I should get the new Brandon Sanderson novella in a few days, at least, that ought to help.
I DID get to have a terrific time with Sander233, Jonsills, and Grylak last night. Three, Jesu LaRoca, Grunt, and (IIRC) Stunshock ran Viscous Cycle for the first time and blew the Undine to heck.
And it gave me quite a few great ideas.
If you ever feel like dropping by...I'm the Grand Vizier and a hefty chunk of the NPCs. You're my friend, you have your pick of "positions".
The good old genre-savvily-modified George Takei (incidentally sporting the kit that Three mentions having installed in the epilogue of "Invasion" didn't blow up once.
And Jonsills, you absolutely MUST write a fic about that Viscous Cycle run.
Grunt, PWNing Undine in a cruise ship?
EPIC.
And indeed, those yellow snot bubbles were...disorienting.
Fun as heck, though.
Won't be happening, but thanks :cool:
--I was thinking of asking jonsills if he wanted to do a collab. Maybe grylak, too, but grylak seems to be pretty busy with the Viper situation at the moment...
--Pity. You have a unique form of talent that the Glorious Regime (and the RP/joke) could use.
I'll keep an eye out :cool: And not my bag, but thanks :cool:
You wouldn't be talking about those who love silence, by any chance? Heh.
I'd be up for a collab. My replies might be a bit slow, and if you want to make it lc canon, it could be set before viper was lost in lc 64, and swap stunshock and sentinel for talaina and viper.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
You up for something like that, jonsills? Grunt in the love boat, the psychopath in her Avenger, and the Viper versus 99% of fluidic space?
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Should be fun.
"Coruscating" is also a particularly useful adjective, you can use "lance" as both a noun and a verb for beam weapons, etc.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
@worffan101: Thank you! Karma has a way of coming back and smiting those who deserve it...Icky and Durak both meet the qualifiers for being huge targets. As for the Theseus, the mess isn't over yet...not by a long shot...and I wouldn't be too sure that it's really the Bonaventure rushing in to save the day! I've got a 'whuck' twist going on, and I was going to reveal it in this story, but decided to wait for a future LC. But the hint is there for what the twist is...
Reviews!
@starswordc: You did a really great job of presenting an 'alien' way of thought in this piece. Enjoyed it! (But, as someone of Italian descent, I must say, "There is *no* such thing as the Mafia.")
@worffan101: Left me with a huge grin!
@aten66: Question...if 4028 is supposed to be a semi-secret facility, why are they pumping out so much comm traffic that a 2 hour silence is enough to warrant a response? (Spoiler) You let Lore go free? Did Gregs get his head knocked a little too hard during the fight? Good tale!
@cmdrscarlet: Loved it! The line, "No more favors...Scarlet Scorpion" demands a backstory to detail the nickname & how they got to a point where favors are exchanged. Demands it!
@ryan218: To Cmdr Allington...Ryan, if you're gonna hide your comm badge, maybe try the inseam of your pants? :P Nice bluff to resolve the issue. Enjoyed the story!
@icerose20: after all the deceit, I'm not sure if the average Romulan is going to buy the 'peace' offered by Mirror Hakeem. For writing, I'd vary the descriptors...maybe pummel, then assault, then battered, etc. One more nit that seemed out of Trek for me; both ships using point defense systems brought up images of BSG where they're sending up a wall of flak to intercept projectiles. But an enjoyable tale nonetheless.
@proteusrex: so that's what CSI:Starfleet is gonna be like? Cool! (But now I've got the music cue after the :cool: 'yeaaah!' on loop in my mind...gotta hate it when that happens...) Love the dig at the lohlunat festival...I feel the same way! That ending though...*shudder*. (Your casting choices - yep, the warden *is* Kurtwood Smith, and a great choice for Ren...Mr. Ivanek does a great job of portraying characters I hate, from "Oz" to "Lost".)
@grylak: I think you meant posterity instead of prosperity...unless Jenna thinks she's going to get a nice paycheck! I enjoyed the story...but the new passengers....I've got a bad feeling about this...
Any feedback on my second story would be appreciated...I'm trying to improve as a writer, and without feedback, I'm gonna keep dishing out the same stuff. Unless y'all *like* the stuff as is...but then you've got to tell me you like it so there's, like, incentive to keep dishing it out...;)