I get it. Augumented humans. Lore and Data. Trying to see how people will create a story connecting Soong and Soong. :P I like it. Just wish I could figure out a way to.
These are much better than the run of the mill anomaly challenges. Those generaic ones are tiring.
I get it. Augumented humans. Lore and Data. Trying to see how people will create a story connecting Soong and Soong. :P I like it. Just wish I could figure out a way to.
These are much better than the run of the mill anomaly challenges. Those generaic ones are tiring.
Singh-Soong? Singsong? No?
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
D'trel, the first step to healing your wounds is talking about them. You're finally earning that honorific D'.
The meaning of most of the alien words seemed pretty clear in context, I thought - and it was nice that he recognized D'trel as being of the same caliber as his hunt-mates, despite her strange nature. I was also impressed by her determination to follow her oath, although I suppose once mnhei'sahe was invoked she had little choice in the matter.
@worffan101. Wow! (Sends subspace memo to fleet, advising them to decline dinner reservations at D'trel's...) Great tale! Dorak got off too easy. The only thing that bothers me is the order for her senior staff to join her in the ceremony. She took on the promise. If her crew should join in, they should do so out of honour, not obligation.
@masopw, While I was not a fan of the movie plot at all, I DID like Gul Figler--and after your last entry with Glinn Idiot, I think it was a very smart move to show that all Cardassians are *not* alike and that the old stereotype is not exactly regarded fondly by many of them. Especially given how IMO the game storywriters messed up with Rugan Skyl (Really, an "ambassador" who asks for kanar made by Bajoran slave labor? The guy on the take from the True Way or something??), I think stuff like that is important.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
D'trel, the first step to healing your wounds is talking about them. You're finally earning that honorific D'.
The meaning of most of the alien words seemed pretty clear in context, I thought - and it was nice that he recognized D'trel as being of the same caliber as his hunt-mates, despite her strange nature. I was also impressed by her determination to follow her oath, although I suppose once mnhei'sahe was invoked she had little choice in the matter.
Ok...my mind is percolating something for the 4028 piece that flows from the last two LC's:
What happens when a dark vengeance is offered to those seeking exactly that?
What happens when malevolence is given form?
Will the crew allow a sacrifice that might prevent further horror?
What line is the line that can not be crossed?
But until then, it's Movie Night, ready for your comments!
Excellent piece. Very much as good as your usual fare, if not better; I have to say that I preferred this one to your last one by a lot.
And Gul Filger was great.
Thanks for the review; yes, Dorak got off easily. As for the other part...the senior officers would've done it anyway, except for Omek who doesn't eat and Zel who's a Breen; it's just her way of saying "I am doing this because honor demands it, so we're all going to do this at once and we're definitely not eating bits of someone I admired for the few minutes I knew him for the next month".
I really liked this one. It was tight and controlled as well as playing to the nature of the stories that D'trel usually finds herself in. I also really liked the ending. Somber, yes, but also very positive in its own way.
My only other note is that I found the alien thoughts words you crammed in to interesting and appropriate. You do have a knack for making alien species living things in your writing and I was happy to see another one.
Why thank you!
I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. I will probably do another one on another prompt for this thread, stay tuned!
@worffan - great stuff, as usual. Your exploration of Gol'dun and his culture was deeply fascinating. But D'trel making the ceremony compulsory for senior officers, that was a little... weird. Couldn't she have replicated him into a cake or something?
@masopw - that was fun, thanks. (If Kitrel ever winds up looking for a new ship, I think I can make room for him on the Tiburon. I need someone like that to keep Spitz-Reader on his toes.)
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@worffan - great stuff, as usual. Your exploration of Gol'dun and his culture was deeply fascinating. But D'trel making the ceremony compulsory for senior officers, that was a little... weird. Couldn't she have replicated him into a cake or something?
She wanted to avoid causing any posthumous insult, and she (correctly) assumed that consumption of all edible portions of the body in one sitting, with minimal cooking or alteration, was the appropriate way to do things.
A turak is about 5 feet tall, but weighs about as much as an average human (between 150 and 200 pounds, depending on the individual). It was a simple matter of mathematics.
Thank you for your review, and I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the story!
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Also Featuring: Gregs Son'aire, of the Prime Universe, in one of his thrilling escapades!
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Now Playing:
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Also Featuring: Gregs Son'aire, of the Prime Universe, in one of his thrilling escapades!
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God that was awful. Truly terrible. The dialog was hokey, the effects were fake and I'm pretty sure I saw a boom mike in several shots.
10/10
I can't wait for the second half!
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP"
Oh look at that, I've gone written something. :eek:
*******************************************
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
@masopw
A good continuation from the previous episode.
At first I though Gul Figler was going to be the same kind of Cardassian as that jerk Durak, I was delighted to see Figler as a different character with a sense of humor and it was all a good spirited prank. The introduction of Icky makes me fear for the future. I know it's ridiculous, but I thought that kind of industry would have disappeared by then. Of course we've seen hints of the seedy underbelly of the Federation before, and this industry has to exist. Though the ease at which he drugs the crew also scares me, makes me think the crew needs to adjust their work/life balance a bit. Good job.
@ryan218
I like it. I was questioning why command would send a ship that is so unprepared into a potentially dangerous situation, but it becomes obvious that there was a trap in the works all along. As mentioned above, there were a couple little typos and things that made it a bit harder for me to follow, but nothing that wouldn't come up in another proofread. Good work, I look forward to part two and seeing how the Victorious crew gets out of it.
Just out of curiosity, how many of you have Androids (Soong type or otherwise) on your ships?
Well, I'm afraid I suffered Writer's Block the entire period of the last LC, and completely dropped the ball on that one. This one already has one or two threads running in my imagination, but I'll have to see if I can get them down on digital paper in something like a decent story.
For ease of reference/visualization, here're the actors I would cast if I was filming this tomorrow...
Kathryn Janeway - Kate Mulgrew
James Davis - James Franco
Ael t'Kazanak - Cobie Smulders
I'K'rR'h c'r'nai - Miley Cyrus
Pok Raban - Jack Black
Mellvor}{ - Voiced by Trey Parker
Very interesting. I agree that the charge of a humanoids-only club is not necessarily accurate--though what we saw on the show did not portray the Federation well in that light. At least in the 77th even though it is still mostly humanoids, I have tried to portray humans as a populous minority--NOT even close to a majority. I'd have to go through and count but I would figure the percentage is something like 25% to 33%. It could be more or less, though, but I know it's well below half. Of course it gets a touch more complicated when you take cultural upbringing into account--but I know that the crew of 75-Tau in 2412 is an anomaly (and was also NOT initially created by me hence the severe demographic skew that I would not have permitted). Of course as I mentioned, it will be a cold day in hell before ch'Harrell allows a camera crew on his station or ships.
That said, the ambassador's point still stands in other areas that I do not believe we have seen yet...
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Very interesting. I agree that the charge of a humanoids-only club is not necessarily accurate--though what we saw on the show did not portray the Federation well in that light. At least in the 77th even though it is still mostly humanoids, I have tried to portray humans as a populous minority--NOT even close to a majority. I'd have to go through and count but I would figure the percentage is something like 25% to 33%. It could be more or less, though, but I know it's well below half. Of course it gets a touch more complicated when you take cultural upbringing into account--but I know that the crew of 75-Tau in 2412 is an anomaly (and was also NOT initially created by me hence the severe demographic skew that I would not have permitted). Of course as I mentioned, it will be a cold day in hell before ch'Harrell allows a camera crew on his station or ships.
That said, the ambassador's point still stands in other areas that I do not believe we have seen yet...
Thanks, and yes, absolutely so ^_^ I didn't quite get the Hollywood vibe, but having recently seen Full Metal Jacket again, I decided to use that as the inspiration for a 'hearts and minds' film :cool:
Thanks, amigo, I hope Mellvor}{ lived up to your standard of the Karrank}{ :cool: My other aim, was to have Ael, being a sneaky Romulan, be the one conducting the interview
Yeah, I figured a quadruped would be less likely to feel cramped or otherwise find being in the tunnels and crawlspaces to be objectionable. That makes a lot of sense.
I would imagine a boarding action on a Karrank}{ ship would be accomplished by drones. Or by smaller-built species like Ferengi or knowing what the Orions would do, child slaves. :-/
Surprisingly Alyosha is not *that* bothered by tight tunnels, but then I also think Devidians, with their type of vision and the spatial awareness their telekinesis demands, have a very accurate sense of whether they really will or will not fit into a space.
If you want his top environmental fear, it's water. That is an instinctive fear all Devidians come with: considering their physiology in natural form, a Devidian who is pulled under will have a far harder time keeping the water out of his lungs than a humanoid. Most often once a Devidian is pulled under in natural form, he's probably dead. I say pulled under because they could literally "walk"'on water right above the surface if desired, though that would probably make them uneasy. To be immersed IN water is a horrible experience for a Devidian, though. Although Alyosha has learned to swim, it runs completely against his nature and he will avoid it at just about all costs.
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I expect he feels more comfortable in those tubes for another reason-his race's ships aren't proportioned for upright humanoids, and they're laid out like tunnel-warrens.
A human or Romulan on a Karrank}{ ship would be on hands-and-knees just about everywhere but main engineering and the cargo bay. it's the same Volume but the proportions of ceiling to floor to walls are significantly different, and Karrank}{ corridors are more circular in proportion with gripping surfaces, making them tough prospects for boarding actions.
I figured he would prefer the Jefferies tubes, so not see his assignment to them in the same way as a Human or Romulan would, but would take issue with other aspects of shipboard life.
The image of Ael essentially interviewing Davis about her, rather than really giving anything away, was just fun :cool:
Yeah, I figured a quadruped would be less likely to feel cramped or otherwise find being in the tunnels and crawlspaces to be objectionable. That makes a lot of sense.
I would imagine a boarding action on a Karrank}{ ship would be accomplished by drones. Or by smaller-built species like Ferengi or knowing what the Orions would do, child slaves. :-/
Yes, I would suspect so, and Mellvor}{ really was fun to write
Surprisingly Alyosha is not *that* bothered by tight tunnels, but then I also think Devidians, with their type of vision and the spatial awareness their telekinesis demands, have a very accurate sense of whether they really will or will not fit into a space.
That makes sense, after all, he will both a) know that he either will fit or won't fit, and b) could use his shapeshifting ability to slightly reduce his size to make an enclosed area more spacious...
If you want his top environmental fear, it's water. That is an instinctive fear all Devidians come with: considering their physiology in natural form, a Devidian who is pulled under will have a far harder time keeping the water out of his lungs than a humanoid. Most often once a Devidian is pulled under in natural form, he's probably dead. I say pulled under because they could literally "walk"'on water right above the surface if desired, though that would probably make them uneasy. To be immersed IN water is a horrible experience for a Devidian, though. Although Alyosha has learned to swim, it runs completely against his nature and he will avoid it at just about all costs.
That is interesting to know, I guess it depends on the mechanics of their respiratory systems, but I guess they don't have the capacity to 'hold their breath' or prevent water entry as other species can.
Equally, water was one of the few things which could freak Marcus out. Despite being able to breathe underwater* the death of his mother made immersion a mentally traumatic event. There was a time when he taught Selek's sister how to sail, and indeed, on a mission to Romulus, fled the senate by diving into the harbour to be beamed up, but equally, it was just as likely to freak him out as not...
*(Highlander always showed this inconsistently as plot required... I suspect the most rational explanation (as it appears from the TV Series) was that an immortal could simply hold their breath indefinitely, and simply rely on the Quickening to prevent lactic acidosis, but that they would drown if they actually inhaled water. However, in the first Highlander movie, Connor was shown laughing, talking, and presumably also breathing, while under water, so the canon allows for both concepts without clarification. I went with the original example of Connor, and had Marcus breathe underwater, but experience discomfort when transitioning from liquid to atmospheric respiration...
Patrick--I'm curious, is that Va'Kel Shon interrogating Anh at the end? Also...I kind of got an impression of this from the other story you posted, that Manuel and Luis have been in so long that even though they would have been up for parole, they seem to have lost the ability or desire to function on the outside. I admit, I had not expected them to be sent to 4028, given that the Feds might see Anh as representing an even greater type of danger than their more "run of the mill" type. So I was kind of thinking that would be the only reason why: a profile showing complete loss of ability to function in society.
I am also beginning to think that the 4028 security model is fundamentally flawed...or after the attack that occurs in the Cardassian Struggle arc, it is.
That makes sense, after all, he will both a) know that he either will fit or won't fit, and b) could use his shapeshifting ability to slightly reduce his size to make an enclosed area more spacious...
I don't know that he could shrink much beyond the height and form he maintains, to be honest. But yeah, he'd know if he fits or not.
That is interesting to know, I guess it depends on the mechanics of their respiratory systems, but I guess they don't have the capacity to 'hold their breath' or prevent water entry as other species can.
Not well. The Devidian upper respiratory system is set up very differently from ours, mainly because of the lack of a larynx (totally different organ in a different placement, for speaking), and in natural form, an immobile mouth. When we hold our breaths we close our vocal cords and tighten the nasal vestibule, both of which Alyosha can't do. His instinct is to exhale against the water and attempt a powerful telekinetic burst to catapult out of the water or break free of whatever is trying to pull him under. If this fails and he is still pulled under, there's not much he could do...his only natural-form mechanism to avoid aspiration is exhalation. Attempting to shapeshift would probably cost too much energy and not happen quickly enough, or offer him enough protection.
He has learned how to swim in human form, just enough to pass the class (with poor marks but passing...I think that is probably his only truly bad grade on his Academy record), but that part of his Academy education was a complete horror, as far as he is concerned, and he is fighting the "telekinetic burst" instinct the entire time.
Equally, water was one of the few things which could freak Marcus out. Despite being able to breathe underwater* the death of his mother made immersion a mentally traumatic event. There was a time when he taught Selek's sister how to sail, and indeed, on a mission to Romulus, fled the senate by diving into the harbour to be beamed up, but equally, it was just as likely to freak him out as not...
Understandable that would be a learned fear.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Comments
These are much better than the run of the mill anomaly challenges. Those generaic ones are tiring.
Singh-Soong? Singsong? No?
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
The meaning of most of the alien words seemed pretty clear in context, I thought - and it was nice that he recognized D'trel as being of the same caliber as his hunt-mates, despite her strange nature. I was also impressed by her determination to follow her oath, although I suppose once mnhei'sahe was invoked she had little choice in the matter.
What happens when a dark vengeance is offered to those seeking exactly that?
What happens when malevolence is given form?
Will the crew allow a sacrifice that might prevent further horror?
What line is the line that can not be crossed?
But until then, it's Movie Night, ready for your comments!
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
And thank you! Excellent piece. Very much as good as your usual fare, if not better; I have to say that I preferred this one to your last one by a lot.
And Gul Filger was great.
Thanks for the review; yes, Dorak got off easily. As for the other part...the senior officers would've done it anyway, except for Omek who doesn't eat and Zel who's a Breen; it's just her way of saying "I am doing this because honor demands it, so we're all going to do this at once and we're definitely not eating bits of someone I admired for the few minutes I knew him for the next month".
Why thank you!
I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. I will probably do another one on another prompt for this thread, stay tuned!
@masopw - that was fun, thanks.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
She wanted to avoid causing any posthumous insult, and she (correctly) assumed that consumption of all edible portions of the body in one sitting, with minimal cooking or alteration, was the appropriate way to do things.
A turak is about 5 feet tall, but weighs about as much as an average human (between 150 and 200 pounds, depending on the individual). It was a simple matter of mathematics.
Thank you for your review, and I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the story!
So, thoughts?
P.S. This is also going on my fanfic 'Victorious'. /shameless plug. :P
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
I like it. Solid writing, interesting how you expand the prompt through the story.
Can't wait for part 2!
"He was also complacent in the death of Dr Soong and took charge of a splinter colony of Borg Drones."
"Complacent" should be "complicit"; he didn't stand by complacently as Soong died, after all.
Ah, thank you. I'll go back and fix that.
EDIT: Done. BTW, turns out the forums cut off the end of part one, so I'm quickly go to post that then get to work on part 2.
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Awesome entry :cool: Just all round enjoyable :cool:
Also looking sharp :cool:
Captain Proton: Featuring Chaotica's Bride and the Fifth Dimension Invaders
Also Featuring: Gregs Son'aire, of the Prime Universe, in one of his thrilling escapades!
We seem to be having technical difficulties showing the second half of the picture, but fear not faithful viewers we will continue to run your favorite serial at a later date. Tune in next time!
God that was awful. Truly terrible. The dialog was hokey, the effects were fake and I'm pretty sure I saw a boom mike in several shots.
10/10
I can't wait for the second half!
-Leonard Nimoy, RIP
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
A good continuation from the previous episode.
At first I though Gul Figler was going to be the same kind of Cardassian as that jerk Durak, I was delighted to see Figler as a different character with a sense of humor and it was all a good spirited prank. The introduction of Icky makes me fear for the future. I know it's ridiculous, but I thought that kind of industry would have disappeared by then. Of course we've seen hints of the seedy underbelly of the Federation before, and this industry has to exist. Though the ease at which he drugs the crew also scares me, makes me think the crew needs to adjust their work/life balance a bit. Good job.
@ryan218
I like it. I was questioning why command would send a ship that is so unprepared into a potentially dangerous situation, but it becomes obvious that there was a trap in the works all along. As mentioned above, there were a couple little typos and things that made it a bit harder for me to follow, but nothing that wouldn't come up in another proofread. Good work, I look forward to part two and seeing how the Victorious crew gets out of it.
Just out of curiosity, how many of you have Androids (Soong type or otherwise) on your ships?
For ease of reference/visualization, here're the actors I would cast if I was filming this tomorrow...
Kathryn Janeway - Kate Mulgrew
James Davis - James Franco
Ael t'Kazanak - Cobie Smulders
I'K'rR'h c'r'nai - Miley Cyrus
Pok Raban - Jack Black
Mellvor}{ - Voiced by Trey Parker
That said, the ambassador's point still stands in other areas that I do not believe we have seen yet...
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Thanks, amigo, I hope Mellvor}{ lived up to your standard of the Karrank}{ :cool: My other aim, was to have Ael, being a sneaky Romulan, be the one conducting the interview
I would imagine a boarding action on a Karrank}{ ship would be accomplished by drones. Or by smaller-built species like Ferengi or knowing what the Orions would do, child slaves. :-/
Surprisingly Alyosha is not *that* bothered by tight tunnels, but then I also think Devidians, with their type of vision and the spatial awareness their telekinesis demands, have a very accurate sense of whether they really will or will not fit into a space.
If you want his top environmental fear, it's water. That is an instinctive fear all Devidians come with: considering their physiology in natural form, a Devidian who is pulled under will have a far harder time keeping the water out of his lungs than a humanoid. Most often once a Devidian is pulled under in natural form, he's probably dead. I say pulled under because they could literally "walk"'on water right above the surface if desired, though that would probably make them uneasy. To be immersed IN water is a horrible experience for a Devidian, though. Although Alyosha has learned to swim, it runs completely against his nature and he will avoid it at just about all costs.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
I figured he would prefer the Jefferies tubes, so not see his assignment to them in the same way as a Human or Romulan would, but would take issue with other aspects of shipboard life.
The image of Ael essentially interviewing Davis about her, rather than really giving anything away, was just fun :cool:
That makes sense, after all, he will both a) know that he either will fit or won't fit, and b) could use his shapeshifting ability to slightly reduce his size to make an enclosed area more spacious...
That is interesting to know, I guess it depends on the mechanics of their respiratory systems, but I guess they don't have the capacity to 'hold their breath' or prevent water entry as other species can.
Equally, water was one of the few things which could freak Marcus out. Despite being able to breathe underwater* the death of his mother made immersion a mentally traumatic event. There was a time when he taught Selek's sister how to sail, and indeed, on a mission to Romulus, fled the senate by diving into the harbour to be beamed up, but equally, it was just as likely to freak him out as not...
*(Highlander always showed this inconsistently as plot required... I suspect the most rational explanation (as it appears from the TV Series) was that an immortal could simply hold their breath indefinitely, and simply rely on the Quickening to prevent lactic acidosis, but that they would drown if they actually inhaled water. However, in the first Highlander movie, Connor was shown laughing, talking, and presumably also breathing, while under water, so the canon allows for both concepts without clarification. I went with the original example of Connor, and had Marcus breathe underwater, but experience discomfort when transitioning from liquid to atmospheric respiration...
It does indeed :cool:
I am also beginning to think that the 4028 security model is fundamentally flawed...or after the attack that occurs in the Cardassian Struggle arc, it is.
I don't know that he could shrink much beyond the height and form he maintains, to be honest. But yeah, he'd know if he fits or not.
Not well. The Devidian upper respiratory system is set up very differently from ours, mainly because of the lack of a larynx (totally different organ in a different placement, for speaking), and in natural form, an immobile mouth. When we hold our breaths we close our vocal cords and tighten the nasal vestibule, both of which Alyosha can't do. His instinct is to exhale against the water and attempt a powerful telekinetic burst to catapult out of the water or break free of whatever is trying to pull him under. If this fails and he is still pulled under, there's not much he could do...his only natural-form mechanism to avoid aspiration is exhalation. Attempting to shapeshift would probably cost too much energy and not happen quickly enough, or offer him enough protection.
He has learned how to swim in human form, just enough to pass the class (with poor marks but passing...I think that is probably his only truly bad grade on his Academy record), but that part of his Academy education was a complete horror, as far as he is concerned, and he is fighting the "telekinetic burst" instinct the entire time.
Understandable that would be a learned fear.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
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That was fun :cool: