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Forums > Home› Feedback› PvP Gameplay

The Ten Commandments of Cheesus

rylanadionysisrylanadionysis Member Posts: 3,359 Arc User
edited April 2014 in PvP Gameplay
Greetings forum goers and PvP brethren. I am Rylana, Disciple and Servant of our Lord Cheesus.

I have come to deliver tidings of great joy, for the Lord has given me insight into ten rules of wisdom to live by in the queues of honorable combat. Those who follow these commandments will find great happiness in the word that is the bird, for lord Cheesus on high sends his eternal love and joy to all of the peoples of the STO.

These commandments are as follows...

- I am the lord thy Cheese and thou must obeyeth me.

- Thou shalt equip only universal consoles upon thy ship, thou shall hold no other consoles before me.

- Thou shalt not form any team that is not a premade used specifically to pugstomp

- Thou shalt always be considered a premade if any two Vice Squad members are present regardless of their opponents, for this is considered the Sabbath of Cheesus and is Holy.

- Thou shalt not fight fair

- Thou shalt not use less than 2 copies of every cheese item

- Thou shalt always focus the weakest target

- Thou shalt post Praise Cheesus upon the Zone chat when inevitable victory hath arise. Alternatively thou mayth post "Flawless Victory" instead.

- Thou shalt honor thy Taylor and thy Vaper

- Thou shalt not covet thy opponents FAW, nor his AA, nor his Gravity Well, thou shouldst already be having of these things.

Praise Cheesus.



This message brought to you as a public service announcement from Vice Squad, the Letter X, and the number 5.


If you took this seriously... then plz nerf.
Gold.jpg
Fleet Admiral Rylana - Fed Tac - U.S.S Wild Card - Tactical Miracle Worker Cruiser
Lifetime Subscriber since 2012 == 17,200 Accolades = RIP PvP and Vice Squad
Chief of Starfleet Intelligence Service == Praise Cheesus
Post edited by Unknown User on
«1

Comments

  • stoutesstoutes Member Posts: 4,219 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    OP is cheeze, plz melt.
    maxvitor wrote: »
    Nerf is OP, plz nerf
    That's quite the paradox, how could you nerf nerf when the nerf is nerfed. But how would the nerf be nerfed when the nerf is nerfed? This allows the nerf not to be nerfed since the nerf is nerfed? But if the nerf isn't nerfed, it could still nerf nerfs. But as soon as the nerf is nerfed, the nerf power is lost. So paradoxally it the nerf nerf lost its nerf, while it's still nerfed, which cannot be because the nerf was unable to nerf.

    I call it, the Stoutes paradox.
  • orangeitisorangeitis Member Posts: 5,222 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    Seems legit.
    U.S.S.%20Mastermind%20Signature_zpsgsyjxxz1.jpg~original
    Helpful Tools: Dictionary.com - Logical fallacies - Random generator - Word generator - Color tool - Extra Credits - List of common English language errors - New T6 Big booty tutorial
  • atlantraatlantra Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    I LOL'ed way too hard from this... Yes plz nerf.
    The dress is gold and white. Over 70% people says so. When viewed from a certain screen angle it appears blue and black. The dress displayed on amazon is a blue and black dress, but it's not the same dress in the picture. If you're seeing blue & black you're slightly colored blind. A normal upright screen = white and gold.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • wast33wast33 Member Posts: 1,855 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    such a premade i would call raclette :rolleyes: : dip in and eat it up :D
  • UnknownUnknown
    edited April 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • legendarylycan#5411 legendarylycan
    legendarylycan#5411
         Member Posts: 37,284 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    crashdragon wrote: »
    Well you seriously did cut it there, but the Swiss players think it's full of holes. I myself found it to be mature and full bodied but had to slice into it to see if the mold that you broke from this had indeed grown on us.

    Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm off to raid the dairy section of my fridge.
    so...many...cheese...puns...
    Like special weapons from other Star Trek games? Wondering if they can be replicated in STO even a little bit? Check this out: https://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1262277/a-mostly-comprehensive-guide-to-star-trek-videogame-special-weapons-and-their-sto-equivalents

    #LegalizeAwoo

    A normie goes "Oh, what's this?"
    An otaku goes "UwU, what's this?"
    A furry goes "OwO, what's this?"
    A werewolf goes "Awoo, what's this?"

    "It's nothing personal, I just don't feel like I've gotten to know a person until I've sniffed their crotch."
    "We said 'no' to Mr. Curiosity. We're not home. Curiosity is not welcome, it is not to be invited in. Curiosity...is bad. It gets you in trouble, it gets you killed, and more importantly...it makes you poor!"
    Passion and Serenity are one.
    I gain power by understanding both.
    In the chaos of their battle, I bring order.
    I am a shadow, darkness born from light.
    The Force is united within me.
  • rylanadionysisrylanadionysis Member Posts: 3,359 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    crashdragon wrote: »
    Well you seriously did cut it there, but the Swiss players think it's full of holes. I myself found it to be mature and full bodied but had to slice into it to see if the mold that you broke from this had indeed grown on us.

    Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm off to raid the dairy section of my fridge.
    shadowfang240 wrote: »
    so...many...cheese...puns...

    Overused tactic - check
    Bad form - check
    Multiple applications without mercy - check
    Reaction obtained - check


    Id dare say crashdragon is the newest convert to the church of cheesus crust


    PRAISE CHEESUS
    Gold.jpg
    Fleet Admiral Rylana - Fed Tac - U.S.S Wild Card - Tactical Miracle Worker Cruiser
    Lifetime Subscriber since 2012 == 17,200 Accolades = RIP PvP and Vice Squad
    Chief of Starfleet Intelligence Service == Praise Cheesus
  • capthachicapthachi Member Posts: 65 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    rylanadionysis wrote: »
    Greetings forum goers and PvP brethren. I am Rylana, Disciple and Servant of our Lord Cheesus.



    - Thou shalt honor thy Taylor and thy Vaper



    Praise Cheesus.



    This message brought to you as a public service announcement from Vice Squad, the Letter X, and the number 5.


    If you took this seriously... then plz nerf.

    Possibly the most important commandment.

    Praise Cheesus!
    -TaylorSwift - PvPs most hated sci
    -LindseyLohan - Under appreciated Rom Bug
    -EmiliaClarke - Under construction engi recluse
  • iskandusiskandus Member Posts: 1,062 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    rylanadionysis wrote: »
    Greetings forum goers and PvP brethren. I am Rylana, Disciple and Servant of our Lord Cheesus.

    I have come to deliver tidings of great joy, for the Lord has given me insight into ten rules of wisdom to live by in the queues of honorable combat. Those who follow these commandments will find great happiness in the word that is the bird, for lord Cheesus on high sends his eternal love and joy to all of the peoples of the STO.

    These commandments are as follows...

    - I am the lord thy Cheese and thou must obeyeth me.

    - Thou shalt equip only universal consoles upon thy ship, thou shall hold no other consoles before me.

    - Thou shalt not form any team that is not a premade used specifically to pugstomp

    - Thou shalt always be considered a premade if any two Vice Squad members are present regardless of their opponents, for this is considered the Sabbath of Cheesus and is Holy.

    - Thou shalt not fight fair

    - Thou shalt not use less than 2 copies of every cheese item

    - Thou shalt always focus the weakest target

    - Thou shalt post Praise Cheesus upon the Zone chat when inevitable victory hath arise. Alternatively thou mayth post "Flawless Victory" instead.

    - Thou shalt honor thy Taylor and thy Vaper

    - Thou shalt not covet thy opponents FAW, nor his AA, nor his Gravity Well, thou shouldst already be having of these things.

    Praise Cheesus.



    This message brought to you as a public service announcement from Vice Squad, the Letter X, and the number 5.


    If you took this seriously... then plz nerf.

    ROFL! The funniest thread of the year! :D
  • l30p4rdl30p4rd Member Posts: 334 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    I SEE THE CHEESE SPREAD, PRAISE CHEESUS !!!!!

    Now we fight the evil lord of SPAM and W(h)ine.

    How long before we get promoted to Stilton bearer ? can I by-pass the Cheddar factory ?
  • rylanadionysisrylanadionysis Member Posts: 3,359 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    In the beginning, Cheesus created the qq and the pew. The pew was funless and stagnant, malaise was over the surface of PvP and the spirit of Cheesus was hovering over Cracked Planet.

    And Cheesus said "LET THERE BE TIF" and there was TIF. Cheesus saw that the TIF was good and he separated the Tactical from the Science. He called the tactical "Mobius" and the Science "Wells". And there was dawn and there was dusk. And also lulz. That was the first day.
    Gold.jpg
    Fleet Admiral Rylana - Fed Tac - U.S.S Wild Card - Tactical Miracle Worker Cruiser
    Lifetime Subscriber since 2012 == 17,200 Accolades = RIP PvP and Vice Squad
    Chief of Starfleet Intelligence Service == Praise Cheesus
  • skurfskurf Member Posts: 1,071 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    You forgot one...

    Thou shalt proclaim thy greatness to all of the internets, yet when thou greatness be so challenged, thou shalt run and hide thy head whilst getting caught in the queues. Amen! :rolleyes:
    ----
    @DevolvedOne
  • fourxgamerfourxgamer Member Posts: 245 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    do one mocking Mohammed and the Koran now, ok?
    show us how it's done.
  • rylanadionysisrylanadionysis Member Posts: 3,359 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    skurf wrote: »
    You forgot one...

    Thou shalt proclaim thy greatness to all of the internets, yet when thou greatness be so challenged, thou shalt run and hide thy head whilst getting caught in the queues. Amen! :rolleyes:

    Lord Cheesus works in mysterious ways, for when the lordeth determine the synergy is lack, one must merely pugstomp for it is the way of the Cheese and of the Whine.

    Also the Minimax died the times of four and called the Brew's kill upon him "glorious"




    But in all seriousness we didnt have the guys on that could fairly match that, one of the guys we had with us doesnt get on ts on anyway so yeh. Excuse and all but we didnt have the guys for a private at the time.
    Gold.jpg
    Fleet Admiral Rylana - Fed Tac - U.S.S Wild Card - Tactical Miracle Worker Cruiser
    Lifetime Subscriber since 2012 == 17,200 Accolades = RIP PvP and Vice Squad
    Chief of Starfleet Intelligence Service == Praise Cheesus
  • rylanadionysisrylanadionysis Member Posts: 3,359 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    I have seen the face of the Lord

    http://art.ngfiles.com/images/141/datamouth_cheesus.png
    Gold.jpg
    Fleet Admiral Rylana - Fed Tac - U.S.S Wild Card - Tactical Miracle Worker Cruiser
    Lifetime Subscriber since 2012 == 17,200 Accolades = RIP PvP and Vice Squad
    Chief of Starfleet Intelligence Service == Praise Cheesus
  • therealmttherealmt Member Posts: 428 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    rylanadionysis wrote: »
    In the beginning, Cheesus created the qq and the pew. The pew was funless and stagnant, malaise was over the surface of PvP and the spirit of Cheesus was hovering over Cracked Planet.

    And Cheesus said "LET THERE BE TIF" and there was TIF. Cheesus saw that the TIF was good and he separated the Tactical from the Science. He called the tactical "Mobius" and the Science "Wells". And there was dawn and there was dusk. And also lulz. That was the first day.

    hahahahahhahahaha
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • rylanadionysisrylanadionysis Member Posts: 3,359 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    And Cheesus said, “Let there be a Queue between the factions to separate faction from faction.” So Cheesus made the queue and separated the faction under the queue from the faction above it. And it was so. Cheesus called the queue “FvF.” And there was Cap and Hold, and there was Arena—the second day.
    Gold.jpg
    Fleet Admiral Rylana - Fed Tac - U.S.S Wild Card - Tactical Miracle Worker Cruiser
    Lifetime Subscriber since 2012 == 17,200 Accolades = RIP PvP and Vice Squad
    Chief of Starfleet Intelligence Service == Praise Cheesus
  • mustrumridcully0mustrumridcully0 Member Posts: 12,963 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    Thankfully, this game isn't like this shop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJhq9eq_eJg
    Star Trek Online Advancement: You start with lowbie gear, you end with Lobi gear.
  • UnknownUnknown
    edited April 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • chlamidiotchlamidiot Member Posts: 120 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    Let me tell you something, pendejo, you pull any of your crazy consoles with us, you pull your TIF out in the queues, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your plasma exhaust and pull the frakkin trigger till it goes click. You said it man. Nobody fraks with de cheesus.

    https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8147058432/h054A38CD/
    -notredricky
  • grandpadxxgrandpadxx Member Posts: 342
    edited April 2014
    rylanadionysis wrote: »
    Greetings forum goers and PvP brethren. I am Rylana, Disciple and Servant of our Lord Cheesus.

    I have come to deliver tidings of great joy, for the Lord has given me insight into ten rules of wisdom to live by in the queues of honorable combat. Those who follow these commandments will find great happiness in the word that is the bird, for lord Cheesus on high sends his eternal love and joy to all of the peoples of the STO.

    These commandments are as follows...

    - I am the lord thy Cheese and thou must obeyeth me.

    - Thou shalt equip only universal consoles upon thy ship, thou shall hold no other consoles before me.

    - Thou shalt not form any team that is not a premade used specifically to pugstomp

    - Thou shalt always be considered a premade if any two Vice Squad members are present regardless of their opponents, for this is considered the Sabbath of Cheesus and is Holy.

    - Thou shalt not fight fair

    - Thou shalt not use less than 2 copies of every cheese item

    - Thou shalt always focus the weakest target

    - Thou shalt post Praise Cheesus upon the Zone chat when inevitable victory hath arise. Alternatively thou mayth post "Flawless Victory" instead.

    - Thou shalt honor thy Taylor and thy Vaper

    - Thou shalt not covet thy opponents FAW, nor his AA, nor his Gravity Well, thou shouldst already be having of these things.

    Praise Cheesus.



    This message brought to you as a public service announcement from Vice Squad, the Letter X, and the number 5.


    If you took this seriously... then plz nerf.


    :D:D


    Nice,.. here we goes. ^^


    greetings
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    T'lilu SCI. / Dxxdavid TAK. / STO Inner Circle
    *** R.I.P. ***
  • UnknownUnknown
    edited April 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • hereticknight085hereticknight085 Member Posts: 3,783 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    Um... Wow. Rylan, you've outdone yourself this time. I almost ended up getting kicked out the library I was laughing so hard at this... XD
    It is said the best weapon is one that is never fired. I disagree. The best weapon is one you only have to fire... once. B)
  • rylanadionysisrylanadionysis Member Posts: 3,359 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    The guiding light of Cheesus smiles upon me (or maybe cryptic needs to fix their queue system)

    http://i.imgur.com/75HjQBV.jpg

    Doombop wins 3-1 (but really I think everyone just decided to split)
    Gold.jpg
    Fleet Admiral Rylana - Fed Tac - U.S.S Wild Card - Tactical Miracle Worker Cruiser
    Lifetime Subscriber since 2012 == 17,200 Accolades = RIP PvP and Vice Squad
    Chief of Starfleet Intelligence Service == Praise Cheesus
  • UnknownUnknown
    edited April 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • rylanadionysisrylanadionysis Member Posts: 3,359 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    And Cheesus said, “Let the uber gear in this game be gathered to one place, and let pay to win appear.” And it was so.

    Cheesus called the pay to win “lockboxes,” and the various gear the “Lobi Store.” And Cheesus saw that it was good.

    Then Cheesus said, “Let the lockbox produce hax: game breaking doffs and traits upon on the lockboxes that can only be opened with real money keys, according to their various kinds.” And it was so.

    The lockboxes produced lockbox gear: ships bearing hax according to their kinds and lobi bearing duty packs with doffs in it according to their kinds. And Cheesus saw that it was good.

    And there was Doffed Scramble, and there was Elachi Proc—the third day.
    Gold.jpg
    Fleet Admiral Rylana - Fed Tac - U.S.S Wild Card - Tactical Miracle Worker Cruiser
    Lifetime Subscriber since 2012 == 17,200 Accolades = RIP PvP and Vice Squad
    Chief of Starfleet Intelligence Service == Praise Cheesus
  • UnknownUnknown
    edited April 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • rylanadionysisrylanadionysis Member Posts: 3,359 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    And Cheesus said, “Let there be Reputations in the grind of the leveling to separate the good from the terribad, and let them serve as crutches to be blamed as excuses, and QQ and Tears, and let them be passives in the grind of the leveling to give powercreep on the game.” And it was so.

    Cheesus made two great Reputations—the Omega to govern the Defense and the Romulan to govern the Crit. He also made the Borg Set.

    Cheesus set them in the tiers of the reputation to give grind on the game, to govern the queue and the Kerrat, and to separate Skills from Hax. And Cheesus saw that it was good.

    And there was crying, and there was nerfcalling—the fourth day.
    Gold.jpg
    Fleet Admiral Rylana - Fed Tac - U.S.S Wild Card - Tactical Miracle Worker Cruiser
    Lifetime Subscriber since 2012 == 17,200 Accolades = RIP PvP and Vice Squad
    Chief of Starfleet Intelligence Service == Praise Cheesus
  • wildweasalwildweasal Member Posts: 1,053 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    rylanadionysis wrote: »
    Greetings forum goers and PvP brethren. I am Rylana, Disciple and Servant of our Lord Cheesus.

    I have come to deliver tidings of great joy, for the Lord has given me insight into ten rules of wisdom to live by in the queues of honorable combat. Those who follow these commandments will find great happiness in the word that is the bird, for lord Cheesus on high sends his eternal love and joy to all of the peoples of the STO.

    These commandments are as follows...

    - I am the lord thy Cheese and thou must obeyeth me.

    - Thou shalt equip only universal consoles upon thy ship, thou shall hold no other consoles before me.

    - Thou shalt not form any team that is not a premade used specifically to pugstomp

    - Thou shalt always be considered a premade if any two Vice Squad members are present regardless of their opponents, for this is considered the Sabbath of Cheesus and is Holy.

    - Thou shalt not fight fair

    - Thou shalt not use less than 2 copies of every cheese item

    - Thou shalt always focus the weakest target

    - Thou shalt post Praise Cheesus upon the Zone chat when inevitable victory hath arise. Alternatively thou mayth post "Flawless Victory" instead.

    - Thou shalt honor thy Taylor and thy Vaper

    - Thou shalt not covet thy opponents FAW, nor his AA, nor his Gravity Well, thou shouldst already be having of these things.

    Praise Cheesus.



    This message brought to you as a public service announcement from Vice Squad, the Letter X, and the number 5.


    If you took this seriously... then plz nerf.

    i lovce you for this you
    3ondby_zpsikszslyx.jpg
  • ocp001ocp001 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    This has to be one of the best threads I have read in 4 years. Me and my fleet were literally howling in TS reading this...

    -Joseph
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