It would certainly be quite the irony if (assuming he knew where Worf was raised) Alyosha went up to Worf speaking Russian and expecting Worf to be interested in talking about things from that part of the world. Worf would be none the wiser about the irony, of course, but it would be rather funny.
I amended my entry on page 1 with a little more. There were much better entries than my own but I'm pleased with the outcome.
Thoughts?
@conras1 - Welcome to the Literary Challenge! I am not much of a grammar-TRIBBLE (unless I see a double-negative >:\ ), but I want to provide a little help in spelling ...
His hair should be a bit messier than that (sometimes he doesn't pay attention to it), but within the limits of the character creator, this gets the general idea across.
Cmdrscarlet--I definitely enjoyed your entry! I must say, Harrington is fortunate his captain was disposed to consider his usefulness and not write him up for his pranks. Though one wonders if he might still get a few unpleasant details as a result... Oh, and I must also commend you for your narrative pacing in the log-entry portion of the challenge. Some characters are natural storytellers; others aren't. Yours is, and I could imagine her really telling that story. She would be very engaging to listen to in person, one imagines.
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I'll bet there are still ways you could write. What if someone from your crew transferred? What if they docked somewhere, such as a space station, that had a Deck 13? There's still time to enter...so why not?
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Easy enough to get around, old chum. Harken unto the following list of alternative narrative ingredients taken from Ambigue's Commonplace Book:
1) Adventurous crewmen load an ancient holodeck program called Deck 13. Contains cyclopean ruins from the dawn of time.
2) Starfleet hounds notorious occultist Deckard Thirteen. Desperate, he opens a grim tome penned in ancient times by a mad Romulan.
3) After a transporter mishap, a brave Starfleet Crewman can see his ship mates, but they cannot see him. He descends into madness until salvation is found on deck 13 of a nearby starbase...and is lost when a tribble interrupts the arcane technological ritual that would have restored him to life.
4) Savage fish-men boil out of access conduits and jeffries tubes, their demoniac ululations capable of reducing a man's mind to jelly. Ship's computers rendered inchoate by the ravening fish-men, a terrified starfleet crew consult a ouija board and discover that the fish-men are coming from a sub-dimensional horrorscape that the ship thinks is a non-existent 13th deck.
5) When a many-tentacled god-thing from beyond space and time accosts the ship, the crew must venture into the mouldering, forgotten ruins of Deck 13 to recover the tome that can banish it.
6) The crew erects a wooden patio complete with railings and barbecue grill on the top of the ship. They jokingly call it Deck 13. When "partying" in EV suits, one of the crew sees an eagle with a top-hat soaring in the depths of space. He goes immediately and irrevocably insane.
And I see no less than 4 possible references to the Cthulhu Mythos in there. O_o
I got Alyosha's Devidian form drawn. It's mostly based on the Visitor "template," though I mixed in a few Eidolon features for the sake of individual variation.
I kind of messed up in positioning the drawing on the paper as I started. I would've been fine if drawing a human-proportioned character, but should've moved up further to accommodate the elongated Devidian proportions. Then again, at least that spared me from having to do a lot of detail in drawing feet, which I am awful at.
That said...I'm not going with the rather ridiculous heights seen in the actual game for Devidians, unless it is possibly explained as a matter of shapeshifting. So I would put Alyosha's true height at 6'3" at the most. (In human form, he is a shorter and stockier 5'9".)
In this case...it's definitely a mistake to judge a book by its cover.
(Further irony: to the Devidians he is incredibly unnerving because even in his natural form his mannerisms read as "human" and completely off-kilter by their standards.)
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
It's a short homage to HP Lovecraft's own Commonplace Book.
Is that different from the Necronomicon?
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
And I see no less than 4 possible references to the Cthulhu Mythos in there. O_o
I got Alyosha's Devidian form drawn. It's mostly based on the Visitor "template," though I mixed in a few Eidolon features for the sake of individual variation.
I kind of messed up in positioning the drawing on the paper as I started. I would've been fine if drawing a human-proportioned character, but should've moved up further to accommodate the elongated Devidian proportions. Then again, at least that spared me from having to do a lot of detail in drawing feet, which I am awful at.
That said...I'm not going with the rather ridiculous heights seen in the actual game for Devidians, unless it is possibly explained as a matter of shapeshifting. So I would put Alyosha's true height at 6'3" at the most. (In human form, he is a shorter and stockier 5'9".)
In this case...it's definitely a mistake to judge a book by its cover.
(Further irony: to the Devidians he is incredibly unnerving because even in his natural form his mannerisms read as "human" and completely off-kilter by their standards.)
Very nice...I liked all of the different personalities on display there. I could imagine what each of those people must've been like when they were alive (assuming they were from prior time periods).
I'm curious...was the Klingon a TOS Klingon? For some reason that's what I pictured.
I'm not quite sure I got what was going on with the metreon gas jar, though, or why someone was (presumably) firing their tetryon weapon in your captain's ready room, though.
The only thing you might want to address from a formatting standpoint is that whenever you copied this from your word processor, the punctuation didn't translate properly onto the forum. But the actual content of your work was good, beyond the one confusing area.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
ok, so I didn't get to work more on Haunted before the time ran out, but I have an idea to alleviate it and I would like to guage some community interest.
What would you guys say to me taking the stories I've made for each Lit Challenge I've done, editing and/or finishing them as necessary, and then posting them on Deviantart for all to see? I would link you to the page,when this is done obviously, but I'd like to know if theres any interest in that kind of stuff first.
If your interested, do let me know, the more feedback I get, the quicker I'll be able to motivate myself to do it.
Krovennan Darksabre: Commanding officer of the U.S.S. Blacksabre-E NX-973484-E
I earned my Vet rewards with commitment, not cash.
@gulberat - Thank you for the feedback! With Captain's Logs I try to imagine the character 'talking" to the computer (or rather to the audience) like the TV Captains did - official, to-the-point and factual. Yet, their personality should also show in some way. I really appreciate your thoughts on my writing style
I couldn't go supernatural on this because others here had done it so well! But I also didn't want to stretch into "God-Mod" mode. I am not sure if the suit will be seen in future posts for that reason, so I figured ... "well, why not have it exist anyway?"
zidanetribal, that's a great entry - slightly derivative of a certain other encounter with a late-20th probe, but hey, Trek reuses plots all the time. (Heck, much of TMP was just a remake of TOS "The Changeling" with a feature film budget.) I didn't manage to figure the twist out for myself before the reveal, but I really enjoyed going back afterward and reading the reactions of the various characters with context.
gulberat: I figured that was Klaang, the glory-hungry young Klingon captain from that-movie-we-don't-talk-about-that-would-otherwise-be-#5. Looks like he didn't destroy P10 after all... And while it's a bit slapstick, I assumed that yes, the admiral was idly shooting at his wall trophy, just 'cause. It helps to set up his later Kirk-style behavior.
With regards to your own story - as Vulcans are fond of saying, "Fascinating." A novel character who draws on a fine tradition of unique foundlings (including Data himself, until other Soong androids started popping up). And I like the detail that to Devidians, he would fall into what we call the uncanny valley...
Thanks. I was a bit worried considering the "unique foundling" thing has been done before, but I was hoping he would come across different given that compared to, say, Data or Odo (or what Worf allows people to see), Alyosha is far more immersed in the culture he was raised in...Earth, specifically Russian.
And yeah, the "uncanny valley" is a great description of what the Devidians thought when they encountered him. Even in the drawing--which admittedly was not that good--I was trying to hint at human mannerisms (perhaps some sort of placating gesture towards someone who inadvertently saw him in his natual form).
BTW, this is kind of random...unfortunately I'll never be able to shoot a video of this story the way some people have done for their Foundry missions, etc., because I would never be happy with the effects (especially the reverse-drain and the way that Alyosha and the others would appear), but if I had the means, I found a song that I would SOOOO wish I could use for the soundtrack. Unfortunately I couldn't find anything with a more Slavic flavor to it, but this gets close to the emotional feel of the story. I wouldn't want traditional "epic battle" music, but I think this would work.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
zidanetribal, that's a great entry - slightly derivative of a certain other encounter with a late-20th probe, but hey, Trek reuses plots all the time. (Heck, much of TMP was just a remake of TOS "The Changeling" with a feature film budget.) I didn't manage to figure the twist out for myself before the reveal, but I really enjoyed going back afterward and reading the reactions of the various characters with context.
gulberat: I figured that was Klaang, the glory-hungry young Klingon captain from that-movie-we-don't-talk-about-that-would-otherwise-be-#5. Looks like he didn't destroy P10 after all... And while it's a bit slapstick, I assumed that yes, the admiral was idly shooting at his wall trophy, just 'cause. It helps to set up his later Kirk-style behavior.
With regards to your own story - as Vulcans are fond of saying, "Fascinating." A novel character who draws on a fine tradition of unique foundlings (including Data himself, until other Soong androids started popping up). And I like the detail that to Devidians, he would fall into what we call the uncanny valley...
@hfmudd: I got the idea from a TV show in which Pioneer and Voyager come back to Earth in humanoid form; at that time, I was thinking that Star Trek had the exact same reveal. I was going to make it a little more ST:TMP, but I learned that Captain Klaa destroyed Pioneer 10 :P. I'm glad you liked the end result, though.
@gulberat: Much in the vein of what Mudd surmised, the ready room scene was to establish that the Admiral was no Picard, but that he is also a bit loopy in the head. He's a Starfleet officer who probably wouldn't have been given a command in peacetime, let alone an admiralship, but he does care for his colleagues. Still, he's a nut.
Comments
I forgot to say...
Yes, that would be a pretty funny conversation
Thoughts?
@conras1 - Welcome to the Literary Challenge!
Choclate = chocolate
Subblemental = supplemental
See you in other Challenges!
[Edit to add]
Likewise, any feedback on mine would be much appreciated
Indeed! "Zdrastvuyte, Worf!"
Worf (glowers): "I beg your pardon, Captain?"
"Um...never mind..."
Oh, and here's Alyosha's human form.
http://i50.tinypic.com/s16ssz.jpg
His hair should be a bit messier than that (sometimes he doesn't pay attention to it), but within the limits of the character creator, this gets the general idea across.
Cmdrscarlet--I definitely enjoyed your entry! I must say, Harrington is fortunate his captain was disposed to consider his usefulness and not write him up for his pranks. Though one wonders if he might still get a few unpleasant details as a result...
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
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I'll bet there are still ways you could write.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Easy enough to get around, old chum. Harken unto the following list of alternative narrative ingredients taken from Ambigue's Commonplace Book:
1) Adventurous crewmen load an ancient holodeck program called Deck 13. Contains cyclopean ruins from the dawn of time.
2) Starfleet hounds notorious occultist Deckard Thirteen. Desperate, he opens a grim tome penned in ancient times by a mad Romulan.
3) After a transporter mishap, a brave Starfleet Crewman can see his ship mates, but they cannot see him. He descends into madness until salvation is found on deck 13 of a nearby starbase...and is lost when a tribble interrupts the arcane technological ritual that would have restored him to life.
4) Savage fish-men boil out of access conduits and jeffries tubes, their demoniac ululations capable of reducing a man's mind to jelly. Ship's computers rendered inchoate by the ravening fish-men, a terrified starfleet crew consult a ouija board and discover that the fish-men are coming from a sub-dimensional horrorscape that the ship thinks is a non-existent 13th deck.
5) When a many-tentacled god-thing from beyond space and time accosts the ship, the crew must venture into the mouldering, forgotten ruins of Deck 13 to recover the tome that can banish it.
6) The crew erects a wooden patio complete with railings and barbecue grill on the top of the ship. They jokingly call it Deck 13. When "partying" in EV suits, one of the crew sees an eagle with a top-hat soaring in the depths of space. He goes immediately and irrevocably insane.
Just some ideas.
I got Alyosha's Devidian form drawn. It's mostly based on the Visitor "template," though I mixed in a few Eidolon features for the sake of individual variation.
I kind of messed up in positioning the drawing on the paper as I started. I would've been fine if drawing a human-proportioned character, but should've moved up further to accommodate the elongated Devidian proportions. Then again, at least that spared me from having to do a lot of detail in drawing feet, which I am awful at.
That said...I'm not going with the rather ridiculous heights seen in the actual game for Devidians, unless it is possibly explained as a matter of shapeshifting. So I would put Alyosha's true height at 6'3" at the most. (In human form, he is a shorter and stockier 5'9".)
Human form: http://i50.tinypic.com/s16ssz.jpg
Devidian form: http://tinypic.com/r/j6ik2h/6
In this case...it's definitely a mistake to judge a book by its cover.
(Further irony: to the Devidians he is incredibly unnerving because even in his natural form his mannerisms read as "human" and completely off-kilter by their standards.)
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
It's a short homage to HP Lovecraft's own Commonplace Book.
Is that different from the Necronomicon?
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Awesome :cool:
Yup. It was a book where he jotted down ideas for stories that occurred to him. You can see a transcription of it here:
http://www.wired.com/beyond_the_beyond/2011/07/h-p-lovecrafts-commonplace-book/
Literary Challenges Entries- Star Trek Online: Lord English
Dramatis Personae of Star Trek Online: Lord English
I'm curious...was the Klingon a TOS Klingon? For some reason that's what I pictured.
I'm not quite sure I got what was going on with the metreon gas jar, though, or why someone was (presumably) firing their tetryon weapon in your captain's ready room, though.
The only thing you might want to address from a formatting standpoint is that whenever you copied this from your word processor, the punctuation didn't translate properly onto the forum. But the actual content of your work was good, beyond the one confusing area.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Awesome entry, I really enjoyed it
I am going to unstick this as I prepare to post #37, but, as always, feel free to continue discussing.
Cheers,
Brandon =/\=
What would you guys say to me taking the stories I've made for each Lit Challenge I've done, editing and/or finishing them as necessary, and then posting them on Deviantart for all to see? I would link you to the page,when this is done obviously, but I'd like to know if theres any interest in that kind of stuff first.
If your interested, do let me know, the more feedback I get, the quicker I'll be able to motivate myself to do it.
I earned my Vet rewards with commitment, not cash.
I couldn't go supernatural on this because others here had done it so well! But I also didn't want to stretch into "God-Mod" mode. I am not sure if the suit will be seen in future posts for that reason, so I figured ... "well, why not have it exist anyway?"
@mrdarksabre - Doooo eeet!
gulberat: I figured that was Klaang, the glory-hungry young Klingon captain from that-movie-we-don't-talk-about-that-would-otherwise-be-#5. Looks like he didn't destroy P10 after all... And while it's a bit slapstick, I assumed that yes, the admiral was idly shooting at his wall trophy, just 'cause. It helps to set up his later Kirk-style behavior.
With regards to your own story - as Vulcans are fond of saying, "Fascinating." A novel character who draws on a fine tradition of unique foundlings (including Data himself, until other Soong androids started popping up). And I like the detail that to Devidians, he would fall into what we call the uncanny valley...
And yeah, the "uncanny valley" is a great description of what the Devidians thought when they encountered him. Even in the drawing--which admittedly was not that good--I was trying to hint at human mannerisms (perhaps some sort of placating gesture towards someone who inadvertently saw him in his natual form).
BTW, this is kind of random...unfortunately I'll never be able to shoot a video of this story the way some people have done for their Foundry missions, etc., because I would never be happy with the effects (especially the reverse-drain and the way that Alyosha and the others would appear), but if I had the means, I found a song that I would SOOOO wish I could use for the soundtrack. Unfortunately I couldn't find anything with a more Slavic flavor to it, but this gets close to the emotional feel of the story. I wouldn't want traditional "epic battle" music, but I think this would work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q_3IcL2lRM
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
@hfmudd: I got the idea from a TV show in which Pioneer and Voyager come back to Earth in humanoid form; at that time, I was thinking that Star Trek had the exact same reveal. I was going to make it a little more ST:TMP, but I learned that Captain Klaa destroyed Pioneer 10 :P. I'm glad you liked the end result, though.
@gulberat: Much in the vein of what Mudd surmised, the ready room scene was to establish that the Admiral was no Picard, but that he is also a bit loopy in the head. He's a Starfleet officer who probably wouldn't have been given a command in peacetime, let alone an admiralship, but he does care for his colleagues. Still, he's a nut.
Literary Challenges Entries- Star Trek Online: Lord English
Dramatis Personae of Star Trek Online: Lord English