Love in PW??

124

Comments

  • Isala - Sanctuary
    Isala - Sanctuary Posts: 1,607 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Oh, I know you can be screwed from someone you've met as well. Been there, done that. But an online relationship is even messier, because one of you, at least, has to move away from where you were to make it work. Then, when it's over, that person either has to go back, or stay... In this case, she did neither. She moved in with her mother instead, and now I'm dealing with all sorts of complications trying to actually end all this. It's a long story. But, in the end, I'd rather deal with someone I know IRL. That's just a personal choice for me, now.
  • Tearvalerin - Sanctuary
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary Posts: 3,787 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    hey i met my wife on iRO, the only positive thing from that damn game. but eh, we've had a few snags due to some of our own skeletons in our closet, but everyday things get better for us. i dont think i could love anyone more, or find someone who can break down these walls, and barbed wire, the animalistic outside that this forum sees, and get to that core of who i really am to show.

    we decided, we'd get out of that nest, jump, and pray we could learn to fly together... or fall. dont regret it even since :|
  • Axemanek - Heavens Tear
    Axemanek - Heavens Tear Posts: 588 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Isala - Sanctuary wrote: »
    Oh, I know you can be screwed from someone you've met as well. Been there, done that. But an online relationship is even messier, because one of you, at least, has to move away from where you were to make it work. Then, when it's over, that person either has to go back, or stay... In this case, she did neither. She moved in with her mother instead, and now I'm dealing with all sorts of complications trying to actually end all this. It's a long story. But, in the end, I'd rather deal with someone I know IRL. That's just a personal choice for me, now.

    you could find someone that is actually close to you...
    I Want To Eat Estasi & Send Her Into Extasy!! b:victory

    May The Force Not Be With You!
  • Isala - Sanctuary
    Isala - Sanctuary Posts: 1,607 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Axemanek - Heavens Tear wrote: »
    you could find someone that is actually close to you...

    She was actually relatively close. About a 5 hour drive. And I know I'm not making much sense, sorry. Just kinda bitter, I guess. It just kind of annoys me that I broke down all the walls and fences I had to prevent it from happening only to have to make them thicker and stronger when I was proven to have needed those walls in the first place...
  • Tearvalerin - Sanctuary
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary Posts: 3,787 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    walls are never a good thing.
  • Isala - Sanctuary
    Isala - Sanctuary Posts: 1,607 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    We wouldn't have walls if we didn't need them, would we?
  • Tearvalerin - Sanctuary
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary Posts: 3,787 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    walls are for those who dont have the guts to risk it again. youre too afraid of being hurt
  • Isala - Sanctuary
    Isala - Sanctuary Posts: 1,607 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary wrote: »
    walls are for those who dont have the guts to risk it again. youre too afraid of being hurt

    I'm not going to argue. I am. I'll get over it eventually, but for now... I can't.
  • Tearvalerin - Sanctuary
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary Posts: 3,787 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    took me two years and ...countless... attempts at something unmentionable for me to get back on track :\
  • Isala - Sanctuary
    Isala - Sanctuary Posts: 1,607 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary wrote: »
    took me two years and ...countless... attempts at something unmentionable for me to get back on track :\

    I'm not back on track, but I'm not as bad as I was... Took a manager telling me to sort out my life or I'd be fired...
  • Xaikus - Dreamweaver
    Xaikus - Dreamweaver Posts: 67 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    I think that it's a place where you can express your personality and feelings, and we already all share a common interest so why couldnt it be a place to fall in love?

    It's not for me though. I'm already in love :)
    NoQuarter: Friendly, helpful, and Mature. Recruiting players any level on Dreamweaver.
  • Aoe - Heavens Tear
    Aoe - Heavens Tear Posts: 197 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    My opinion is love is love. However, relationships take time irl to develop. Real love doesn't occur right away when you barely know a person. That's the trouble and danger of online relationships. A person can create a different persona. Going to meet people over the net is a danger in itself, since there are a lot of crazy people out there. Never the less people need to be careful to distinguish between a crush and between love. Crushes many times develop into infatuation, which is often mistake for love.

    Many times over the net people are into physical attraction, and of course you need to have that to even be interested in someone. Keep in mind though, looks are deceiving, a girl/boy that you find utterly beautiful can be the ugliest person inside. Mean, cruel, a cheater, you should ask yourself if this person is so beautiful why can't they find love irl. Many times you'll find that their personality behaviors are abusive, and cold. Making it difficult for them to have a real life relationship.

    However infatuations blinds us from from reality so you over look and ignore some serious flaws another person has. People mistaken this for unconditional love. However, true love does have conditions there really is no such thing as unconditional. We all set our own guide lines what type of person we want and what type of person we need. You should look for the type of person you need mostly, even so you've already set conditions.

    The way you can find out if it's love is to ask yourselves.

    1. Are you two unselfish caring about the interest of the other partner?
    Many time people infatuated often only see what this person does for me? Example: I love her she makes me feel good, she makes me happy, she does everything for me. All the time you may do nothing for her you just take and take but never give. Or maybe everything has to go your way or their way. In online dating do you find yourself shelling out money or in game you always are buying stuff for that person. They never think of how you feel nor do the give you anything.

    2. Did you romance start off slow, developing with time taking months even years.
    Like I said true love develops over time, because you're slowly getting to know that person. Or like in online games does it occur fast, perhaps taking hours or just days. Many people have this infatuation and mistaken it for love at first sight. If someone says I love you, but the barely even know you it's as empty as the wind and very deceiving. Teenagers fall for this a lot.

    3. Are you attracted to that person's personality qualities?
    Many times we just focus on the outer appearances. How is the inner? Do you like that about them as well? People with infatuation ignore that.

    4. For the big one here LOVE MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON.
    Lol love does not turn you into a bitter, jealous stalker, overly crying ready to kill myself, i can't take life without him/her. In other words love actually improves the quality of your life. You smoke less cause you worried about her/his health and yours. You eat more healthy, you start to change some bad habits, not for them but for yourself. Infatuation many times has the opposite effect. You actually get worse, you can't sleep, you can't eat, constantly worried, you even become obsessed with the other person. (that was example there are many worse scenarios many loose jobs and cant function in normal life, even murder.) You should be watchful of your own behavior when you're with someone.

    5. Do you see the true person and like them for who they are?
    With infatuation you see that person as perfect all the time and ignore serious problems in your relationships. Or even some serious doubts. For example..I had a friend (emphasis on HAD) who was in love with a 13 he was 15. When i asked him what did he dislike about her his answer was nothing she's perfect. No offense but we all have a quality that another person doesn't like. If you can't answer that question truthfully or realistically you aren't seeing the person for who they truly are? For the ladies you need to pay attention to your man's personality as well. Is he controlling, he has to know every step you make, doesn't allow you any friends. Does he put you down in front of others, many times your the but of his jokes. Does he have a quick temper, never listens to you and everything goes his way. He may even get so mad he may hit you. Clear sign of an abusive person. If you see someone as perfect I can tell you that's damaging for yourself and the other person because they cannot live up to your expectations of perfection.

    6. When you have disagreements do you talk them out. Or when you argue do you always make up with sex or kissing. Ignoring that there may be some relationship and compatibility problems.

    People should answer these questions truthfully when analyzing their own selves and relationship. I don't frown upon internet dating, but make sure you take your time, get to know that person, use caution whether it is a man or a woman. The world is not safe. If you are meeting someone in real life never go alone. For teenagers you need to alert your parents if you are going to see someone. Sadly enough lots of teens end up missing or forced into prostitution because they feel they need to hide such a thing from parents.
  • DollParts - Sanctuary
    DollParts - Sanctuary Posts: 206 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    good god people, get out of your houses and to the local clubs, bars, whatever.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Batista - Dreamweaver
    Batista - Dreamweaver Posts: 370 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    MySpace is the best because you always get a suprise ... you rarely get the person you think you are talking to, lol. (J/K)

    Seriously, I've heard of stories about people hooking up in online games but I never would myself ... I'd like to know the person and date them first (cybering doesn't count as a date for me).
    Batista (85 Cleric) {Semi-Retired Character}
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  • Crazydan - Heavens Tear
    Crazydan - Heavens Tear Posts: 1,178 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    I think that starting as an online couple is better because its all emotional and u r attracted to the person not the body.

    I got married in game a couple months ago and she is older then me and would never have flirted with her in RL but i didnt know her age and im glad i didnt because never been as happy as i am when i hear her voice.


    Just typing everything isnt good enough but we talk on skype or on the phone everyday and its what i look forward to everyday.


    We r both being careful about this googled her because she said she was a lawyer and everythign checked out and cant wait to meet her b:dirty b:chuckle
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Tearvalerin - Sanctuary
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary Posts: 3,787 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    DollParts - Sanctuary wrote: »
    good god people, get out of your houses and to the local clubs, bars, whatever.
    and get laid by what could previously had been a man, or has syphyllis? i dont think so.
  • tyty1219
    tyty1219 Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    i can be friends with somebody in game no problem. But having actual feelings....i dont think so. but hey, whatever works for you
  • Tearvalerin - Sanctuary
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary Posts: 3,787 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    real 'feelings' can be amiability between friends too, emotions can be exchanged online, even if its real for one and fake for another via, joke pervert etc.
  • Mizuoni - Dreamweaver
    Mizuoni - Dreamweaver Posts: 3,533 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    darthpanda16 wrote: »
    Hi, I'm Chris Hanson...

    Have a seat right over there. b:chuckle

    hey im tairii

    want to go for some coffee b:dirty

    wait can you get banned for flirting with a GM??????????????????
    Sins are Scissors. Psychics are Rocks.
    Archers, Venos, Barbs, Wizards, BMs, Mystics, Seekers are Paper.
    ...and Clerics are Mushrooms.
    Paper beats Rock. Scissors beats Paper. Scissors also happens to beat Rock...until Rock gets 50k+ soulforce at which point Rock becomes an unstoppable killing machine that beats Paper... and would beat Scissors but it can't find Scissors, because Scissors are invisible.
    So Scissors beat Paper and avoids Rock, and that is called BALANCE. -cheze
  • Tearvalerin - Sanctuary
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary Posts: 3,787 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    and Im, like, Jillian! I'm like... totally into coffee, did you know coffee comes from beans?! I totally did not know it! But like, Im like, going to UCLA, to be like, a veterenarian... and I like to speak everything with an upward inflection, like, so like, everything sounds like its a question, and like, i wanna be a vet because like, I love children.
  • Aoe - Heavens Tear
    Aoe - Heavens Tear Posts: 197 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary wrote: »
    and Im, like, Jillian! I'm like... totally into coffee, did you know coffee comes from beans?! I totally did not know it! But like, Im like, going to UCLA, to be like, a veterenarian... and I like to speak everything with an upward inflection, like, so like, everything sounds like its a question, and like, i wanna be a vet because like, I love children.

    lol I dont even know why nick married her...
    Big case of infatuation over looks. The girl is beautiful but her stupidity is ugly. I take brains over someone so stupid they almost killed my dogs any day. Lol what if it breeds... the thought is scary.
  • Tearvalerin - Sanctuary
    Tearvalerin - Sanctuary Posts: 3,787 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    lol are you talking about family guy?
  • Aoe - Heavens Tear
    Aoe - Heavens Tear Posts: 197 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    lol They were teasing Jessica Simpson for when she got on Barbra Walters show and was like when I was little I always wanted to be a veterinarian. Then they asked her does she like animals. She was like no I like kids I want to be a veterinarian.
  • Alphae - Lost City
    Alphae - Lost City Posts: 1,512 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Girl behind the girl avvy here FYI b:surrender

    But I've done the dating IRL and online. Had some very good experiences in my high school, and one very very nasty one, and let's just leave that at that. ._.

    Tried the online dating the first time, and was very happy for a while. It broke up when the guy wasn't willing to meet up IRL. Was tough to know he didn't want to but I got rid of him.

    My current boyfriend I met on a non-dating message board for another game, and we've been together nearly a year and met up several times.

    I do agree that the online can only be one component of the affection. You need game interations, AIM/MSN/whatever, phone/vent, and face to face interaction to realize if you two are really compatible. That was the big step for me and my current boyfriend. We talked over the boards,over MSN, and over the phone, but we were still very cautious when we first met as neither of us believed that face-to-face interaction was a done deal just because we liked how each others' voices sounded. Luckily we had a great time and have gotten to meet up several more times (he lives about 10 hours drive from me), and are very happy.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Tequila_wolf - Heavens Tear
    Tequila_wolf - Heavens Tear Posts: 193 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    me and my ingame wife actually met on a game called runescape, moved to Dofus afterwards played that for about 6 months

    we have met twice for a month each time, i've met all of her kids, she is coming here in september and next may ( i graduate in may) after that i plan to move to the UK and live there with her

    we have been together for one year and 9 months :D
  • Lwyna - Sanctuary
    Lwyna - Sanctuary Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    DollParts - Sanctuary wrote: »
    good god people, get out of your houses and to the local clubs, bars, whatever.

    Welcome to 20 years ago.
  • Nisanthro - Heavens Tear
    Nisanthro - Heavens Tear Posts: 36 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    DollParts - Sanctuary wrote: »
    good god people, get out of your houses and to the local clubs, bars, whatever.

    I think shes got a point. Im not against online dating but still...
    Getting out of my house and going to a pub or wherever is the best way to meet poeple i can imagine.
    [SIGPIC]http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/9228/mardukwolf.jpg[/SIGPIC]
  • ExELFine - Heavens Tear
    ExELFine - Heavens Tear Posts: 362 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    kooshdin wrote: »
    ... I got to carry her !

    This made me love the experience it made me feel so romantic carrying her to the quests etc, she even planted a kiss on me too it was sweet.

    *sigh*

    Carrying and kissing are all chi-related, period. You carry, both get one spark, girl kisses: another spark. End of story.

    b:pleased
    [SIGPIC]http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff122/dart2005/PWI/july05.jpg[/SIGPIC]
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  • ExELFine - Heavens Tear
    ExELFine - Heavens Tear Posts: 362 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    Aoe - Heavens Tear wrote: »
    1. Are you two unselfish caring about the interest of the other partner?
    2. Did you romance start off slow, developing with time taking months even years.
    3. Are you attracted to that person's personality qualities?
    4. For the big one here LOVE MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON.
    etc etc ad nauseam

    Since when are emotions ruled by reason??? Geez, your idea of love is so complicated, ANYONE who follows your list must have a really boring life...

    To those who believe that unconditional love doesn't exist, ask any parent for the truth...

    And remember: to open hearts, love is everywhere, no need to try and ward it off, it IS the essence of life :)

    b:avoid
    [SIGPIC]http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff122/dart2005/PWI/july05.jpg[/SIGPIC]
    Crafting:
    Tailor: lev 7
    Blacksmith: lev 6
    Craftsman: lev 6
    Apothicary: lev 5
    SEMI to 7/8 RETIRED, not from PW but from PWI :)
  • Damewort - Sanctuary
    Damewort - Sanctuary Posts: 573 Arc User
    edited May 2009
    ExELFine - Heavens Tear wrote: »
    Since when are emotions ruled by reason??? Geez, your idea of love is so complicated, ANYONE who follows your list must have a really boring life...

    To those who believe that unconditional love doesn't exist, ask any parent for the truth...

    And remember: to open hearts, love is everywhere, no need to try and ward it off, it IS the essence of life :)

    b:avoid

    Unconditional love does exist - we have pets for that. Just care a bit about them and they will love you even if you fail in life in all possible ways.

    As for relationships in IRL, I see them as impossible. I don't want to meet any of persons I have met in games. There are few exceptions when I keep the contact with players outside the game, but I can count them on one hand's fingers. I keep all my relationships/friendships strictly only in the game. Can call me a cold hearted persons, but that's how it should be - there is no need to mix them both together.

    Emotions are ruled by reason in games/IRL. Mostly in IRL ppl have time to think over what they are saying/doing, but not in RL. See a message you are not sure how to respond? Think it over and then respond. You can't do the same in RL.

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