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  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Ok, no problem. Just thought I should ask.

    NP and good luck!


    BTW, we're over 2100 people now! :D
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • orangefireeorangefiree Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 1,148 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    bioshrike wrote: »
    NP and good luck!


    BTW, we're over 2100 people now! :D

    Nice, congrats.

    I'll see if I can come up with a joke before the contest is over.
    Neverwinter players are stubborn things....until you strip them down to bone. (Cursed players, my flowers, MINE!) Oh how I plotted their demise.
  • kiteareskiteares Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 35 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Gratz on 2100 peeps!!

    Why did the Guardian Fighter run round in circles when the party was fighting A'Drx'l?

    Someone told him to sit in the corner.....
    :rolleyes:
  • xellizxelliz Member Posts: 955 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Two noble Ladies were discussing their relationships...
    Lady 1 - "I think I'm leaving my boyfriend."
    Lady 2 - "Really, why? I thought he was an up and coming wizard."
    Lady 1 - "Oh he is, but he's just too controlling."
    Foundry - Fight Club? (nw-dluqbofu7)
    - JailBreak (in development)
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Try Grok's new gnome-mounts!

    *tiny little gnome with giant adventurer on back scuttles past*

    Because Mobility is our Gnome de Plume!
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    (Chicken mount take three... )

    Why did the chicken-mount cross the road?

    ... To turn off the System Notifry messages.
  • aettthornaettthorn Member Posts: 73 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    What's the hardest part about telling a joke?

    The..

    ParanoidGnome has received a Thayan Book of the Dead
    Xelliz has received an Emperor Beetle
    Kiteares has received a Sylvan Stag Mount
    Orangefiree has received an Owlbear
    Bioshrike has received an Apparatus of Kwalish

    ...timing.
  • pitirre34prpitirre34pr Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    xelliz wrote: »
    Two noble Ladies were discussing their relationships...
    Lady 1 - "I think I'm leaving my boyfriend."
    Lady 2 - "Really, why? I thought he was an up and coming wizard."
    Lady 1 - "Oh he is, but he's just too controlling."

    OMFG!!! waaaayyyy funny lol
  • pkdeadly1pkdeadly1 Member Posts: 45
    edited March 2014
    Fallen tower Tavern Was getting old and falling apart the owner 1 Vafeu One-Ear A Half orc was talking to Orc Ruffins inside his taven about how to fix it up

    Vafeu One-Ear - This place needs a coat of paint maybe red Less cleaning on fight night.
    Orc Ruffin - Lets get the Neverwinter Guard's Dwarfs and Halflings to paint it they know a lot about Taverns.

    Vafeu One-Ear - How many Neverwinter Guard do you think it will take to paint Fallen tower Tavern Red Might be a lot Of Haflings and Dwarfs there only small.

    Orc Ruffin - Depends on how hard we throw them
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    OK, here's another:

    A plushy mimic walks into a tavern. A waitress nervously walks up to it, and asks if she can get it anything to eat. The plushy mimic turns to the waitress and says "No thanks. I'm stuffed!"
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    What you see:
    aettthorn wrote: »

    Green Arrow has received an Apparatus of Kwalish


    What I see:

    aettthorn wrote: »

    Gween Awwow has weceived an Appawatus of Kwawish
  • meldan3nmeldan3n Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited March 2014
  • happyplayehappyplaye Member Posts: 10 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    one day i was strolling in the dread ring for my pleasure, killing stuff hoping they drop some hidden pouch ... unfortunately i got more enchantment then usual at that day, even the tower gave me that dual rank 4 ... and i just wanted those pair of peridots ...
    at least twice i thought i heard something weird about that servitor fool call ... i killed them to quickly to notice.. but then,
    i listened closely and i swear i think i heard one of the thayan servitors calling ... "neverwinter legit fool ..."
    that was creepy ...
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Just a heads up - there's only about 1 week left for you to get your submissions in. Good luck!
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • orangefireeorangefiree Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 1,148 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    happyplaye wrote: »
    one day i was strolling in the dread ring for my pleasure, killing stuff hoping they drop some hidden pouch ... unfortunately i got more enchantment then usual at that day, even the tower gave me that dual rank 4 ... and i just wanted those pair of peridots ...
    at least twice i thought i heard something weird about that servitor fool call ... i killed them to quickly to notice.. but then,
    i listened closely and i swear i think i heard one of the thayan servitors calling ... "neverwinter legit fool ..."
    that was creepy ...

    Now we know the truth then. Exploiters are really Thayans in disguise.
    Neverwinter players are stubborn things....until you strip them down to bone. (Cursed players, my flowers, MINE!) Oh how I plotted their demise.
  • kiteareskiteares Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 35 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    Three GWFs were in a valley surrounded by three castles. They are arguing about who can do the most damage and it ends up them having a bet on it.

    The first GWF comes home with blood dripping off his sword. He says, "See that castle over there? I killed everyone on the ground floor."

    The second GWF returns with blood over his sword and knot. He says, "See that castle over there? I killed everyone in it."

    The third GWF comes back covered in blood. He says, "See that castle over there?" The other GWFs shake there heads “No,” they reply. "No," says the third GWF, "I didn't either."
  • kiteareskiteares Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 35 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    So the Elf says to the Orc, why does your Worg go "Cluck cluck"?

    The Orc replies "He thinks he's a chicken mount"

    The Elf says "Why don't you tell him he's not?"

    The Orc says "Because I need the eggs"
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    Just a heads up, you've only got about 5 days left to get your submissions in. Good luck!
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    Only 3 days left!
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • bglnodabglnoda Member Posts: 8 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    A GF walks into a dungeon and the CW says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

    "What do you mean?" GF replies, "I'm fine."

    CW says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

    "Well," says GF, "I was in a battle in a dungeon and a dragon bite my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

    "Yeah," says the CW, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

    "Well," says the GF, "I was in PVP in a sword fight and my hand was cut off by GWF, but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."

    "Oh," says the CW, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in dungeon you had both eyes."

    "Well," says the GF, "One day when I was at auction house, some birds were flying over. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."

    "So?" replied the CW, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird sh*t!"

    "Well," says the GF, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet!"
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    Just a reminder, I will stop considering submissions after 23:59 on Saturday 4/5/14 (EST). Good luck everyone.
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    My apologies, I've been too busy this week at work to provide more bad jokes, just look at my task list:

    1) Escort Goobs To Market

    2) Protect the Mimes

    3) Destroy Enemy Cramps

    4) Deliver Metalheads

    5) Correct Taxes

    6) and finally, Seek Out Naps.
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    When in Menzoberranzan, do as the Menzoberranzans do.

    When in PE zone chat, /killme.



    (shout out to Rev Sterno and all the Subgenii in the audience)
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    Only about 4 hours left!
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    The contest has ended. I will be announcing the winners in a few days. Thanks to all the contestants!
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • joocycuzzzzzzjoocycuzzzzzz Member Posts: 577 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    why did the GF cross shadowfell?
    because he can't jump!

    ba dum tss
    meldan3n wrote: »
    Here is one:

    LF1M GF

    Lmao I ****ing lost it at these.

    Poor GF's.

    xelliz wrote: »
    Two noble Ladies were discussing their relationships...
    Lady 1 - "I think I'm leaving my boyfriend."
    Lady 2 - "Really, why? I thought he was an up and coming wizard."
    Lady 1 - "Oh he is, but he's just too controlling."

    This one's hilarious and clever too.
    Beta player

    One of the many Control Wizards that misses Shard Of The Endless Avalanche. RIP Shard (Beta-Mod3)
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited April 2014
    To anyone that has participated in this contest: Please check your private message inbox - if you're a winner, you should have received a notification from me.

    Thanks again!
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
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