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Forums > Home› Neverwinter Discussion › The Moonstone Mask (PC)

NW_Legit_Community's 2000+ Celebration!

bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
edited April 2014 in The Moonstone Mask (PC)
In celebration of NW_Legit_Community breaking the 2000-member mark, I am running a little contest, and there will be prizes for the top 3 winners! The contest is very simple - reply to this thread with your own original NW-related joke. I will select the 3 I like the most, and the winners will receive:

1st place gets first pick of a Ioun Stone of Allure, Slyblade Kobold, or Blue Skeletal Dog

2nd place gets pick of what's left of the above 3.

3rd place gets whatever companion remains after the 1st & 2nd place winners made their choices.


Rules:

All submissions must be...

1. in by 23:59 EST on Saturday April 5th.
2. original jokes, (they can be a variation on an existing one, but copy-pastes will not be accepted).
3. acceptable to a PG13 audience.
4. in good spirit - no jokes that flame or harass other players or devs, and none that deride any real life religions, sexual orientations, ethnic groups, etc.


Good luck!

Shortcut to this post: http://goo.gl/6oDgYV
<::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
"Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
Post edited by Unknown User on
«1

Comments

  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    One joke per account? or are more than one per account acceptable?

    In either case, lowest (highest?) forms of humor coming right at you:
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Why did the chicken-mount cross the road?

    ... To get to the other milieu!


    *rimshot*
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    There once was a toon named Mantato
    Who swung his blade like a tornado
    He bought up some zen
    But then that is when
    He found out the queue's made him wait, oh!


    *dead silence*
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    This one goes out to all the Motörhead fans in the ch'ood:

    LENNY IS GOD! [sic]
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    My bro was named Twiggan Tewberries
    He like to dress up like some fey-ries
    He started to dance
    Then he dropped his pants
    And got right to work on his Day-rees.

    <No Mas Pantalones> fuh life?


    Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week folks, shows nightly at 8.
  • koalazebra1koalazebra1 Member Posts: 1,173 Bounty Hunter
    edited March 2014
    why did the GF cross shadowfell?
    because he can't jump!

    ba dum tss
  • kiteareskiteares Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 35 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    bioshrike wrote: »
    In celebration of NW_Legit_Community

    What is Valindra's favourite breakfast?

    Wilfredbix

    disclaimer...it had to be pg13 :p
  • pitshadepitshade Member Posts: 5,665 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Take me down to the peridot city
    where the drops are green
    and the loot is...
    "We have always been at war with Dread Vault" ~ Little Brother
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    If a toon on your ignore list falls in a dungeon, does he still cry for "Hilfe"?
  • clawler22clawler22 Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 15 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    5x5wl0.jpg
  • ambisinisterrambisinisterr Member, Neverwinter Moderator Posts: 10,462 Community Moderator
    edited March 2014
    Now that last one made me crack up good.
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    (Chicken-mount take two... )


    Why did the chicken-mount cross the road?

    ... Because Dardove posted a link that there was something awesome happening over there.


    *rabblerabblerabblelfgrabblerabblevorpalrabblerabblerabblesoulrabble*
  • melodywhrmelodywhr Member Posts: 4,220 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    mod note: some "jokes" were removed from this thread as they were flaming the game or aspects of the game. your jokes have to conform to forum rules or they will be removed from this thread. thanks.

    do not reply to this mod note. send me a PM if you need to discuss it.
  • melodywhrmelodywhr Member Posts: 4,220 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    a tiefling mage, a half-elf rogue, a drow hunter ranger and a half-orc great weapons fighter who had been hit hard by the influx of new adventurers working for much lower rewards found themselves doing some odd-jobs for lord neverember. they had been hired to shovel the horse dung from the hall of justice walkways. not quite the most prestigious job, but they felt that getting in with neverember was a good thing even if shoveling horse mess was their ticket in. just as they were all issued their shovels, the mage casually went over to the one of the side walls and sat down, propping her feet up in a nice relaxed position. this made the half-orc very upset because he didn't think it was fair that the mage was already taking a break. the other two were busy doing their own shoveling on the other side of the hall and he wasn't going to get stuck doing all the work.

    he went to the tiefling and stomped his half-orc feet.

    "what do you think you're doing?" he asked with a snort.
    "i'm resting. i don't have to do this menial work," the mage replied with a snarky grin.
    "...and why not?" the half-orc said with disdain.
    "because i'm smart," said the mage as she lifted her hand up to the wall. "i'll show you. hit my hand with your shovel."

    the half-orc thought for a moment and swung his shovel as hard has he could at the tieflin's hand and just as it was about to hit it, the she moved her hand and the half-orc ended up hitting the stone wall sending all the reverberations of his force right back into the shovel.

    "OUCH!" the half-orc said very loudly.
    "see?" the tiefling mage calmly said and leaned back against the wall. "look, you're missing a pile or two over there."

    the half-orc was astounded, but he still wasn't going to get stuck doing all the work. he promptly went over to the other side of the hall and took a seat next to the wall and stretched his legs out. the other two took one look at the half-orc and said in unison, "what in the nine hells do you think you're doing?"

    "i don't have to do anything because i'm smart," said the half-orc as he raised his hand in front of his face. "hit my hand."
  • aettthornaettthorn Member Posts: 73 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    What did the adventurer say to Sgt. Knox?

    I just flew in from Thay, and boy are my arms tired.

    <rimshot>
  • aettthornaettthorn Member Posts: 73 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Why do all Trickster Rogue outfits look like pirates?

    Because they're T-Arrrrrrs.
  • farla47farla47 Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 149 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    aettthorn wrote: »
    Why do all Trickster Rogue outfits look like pirates?

    Because they're T-Arrrrrrs.
    That one made me laugh :D
    (almost)All my friends are Imaginary!
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Just to add to the atmosphere, here's one:

    A half-orc, elf, and halfling walk into a bar. They all order drinks and happily down them. The bartender tells them to pay up. The half-orc and elf pay their coppers, but the halfling turns to the other two and says...

    "Can you spot me? I'm a little short"
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • farla47farla47 Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 149 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    bioshrike wrote: »
    Just to add to the atmosphere, here's one:

    A half-orc, elf, and halfling walk into a bar. They all order drinks and happily down them. The bartender tells them to pay up. The half-orc and elf pay their coppers, but the halfling turns to the other two and says...

    "Can you spot me? I'm a little short"
    This one did even more :D
    (almost)All my friends are Imaginary!
  • paranoidgnomeparanoidgnome Member Posts: 18 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Pum, Cag, Vic, Dude, and Maeg walk into a boss fight.

    Val says "Wottaya need?!?"

    Pum says "I need that Executioner's title."

    Cag says "I need to proc SF one more time so I know I'm pulling hard enough."

    Vic says "I need to post this spreadsheet of dps output for my proposed-new gwf builds on preview server."

    Dude says "I need a semi-translucent Cube mount with tiny slime trail to ride in."

    Maeg says "I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GREED RUN!"


    *the double-rimshot dissipates, almost as quickly as my friends list*
  • forever16bitsforever16bits Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    'Knock, knock'
    'Who's there?'
    'Not Wilfred'

    ba dum tss
  • venerable4bedevenerable4bede Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 21 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Chert Yeastbottom: "I'm on a Dwarvish lager diet. I've lost 2 days already!"
  • pitirre34prpitirre34pr Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    This should be going even after the contest, thanks for the laughs guys
  • aettthornaettthorn Member Posts: 73 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    A half-elf control wizard, a halfling guardian fighter, and an elf all go to a party. One was thrown out...who was it, and why?


    The elf, because he had no class.
  • aettthornaettthorn Member Posts: 73 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    I was whipping my Reanimated Destrier mount to make it go faster, but came to realize all I was doing was beating a dead horse.
  • csisscsiss Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Why did people stop playing their HR?
    .
    .
    .
    Because they took an arrow to the knee!
  • orangefireeorangefiree Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 1,148 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    Quick question. Can my joke be done in the form of a foundry quest?
    Neverwinter players are stubborn things....until you strip them down to bone. (Cursed players, my flowers, MINE!) Oh how I plotted their demise.
  • tripsofthrymrtripsofthrymr Member, Neverwinter Moderator, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 1,624 Community Moderator
    edited March 2014
    Santa Clause and his flying reindeer, the Easter Bunny, the PUG that beat VT and the PUG that lost VT each stand in a corner of a 30'x30' room. The legendary artifact Shard of I Win appears in the middle of the room. Each team takes off from their respective corner, hoping to grab the artifact first.

    Who gets there first?

    ...

    The PUG that lost VT of course. The other three do not exist.
    Caritas Guild Founder (Greycloak Alliance)

    Sci-fi author: The Gods We Make, The Gods We Seek, and Ji-min
  • bioshrikebioshrike Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 4,729 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    orangefiree wrote: »
    Quick question. Can my joke be done in the form of a foundry quest?

    Only jokes as responses to the OP, in this thread, please.
    <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::::)xxxo <::::::::::::)xxxxxxxx(:::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::> oxxx(::::::::::::::>
    "Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?" -Tony Stark
    Official NW_Legit_Community Forums
  • orangefireeorangefiree Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 1,148 Arc User
    edited March 2014
    bioshrike wrote: »
    Only jokes as responses to the OP, in this thread, please.

    Ok, no problem. Just thought I should ask.
    Neverwinter players are stubborn things....until you strip them down to bone. (Cursed players, my flowers, MINE!) Oh how I plotted their demise.
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