Trading Reviews - The Lonely Dagger Inn

avatre21 · June 2013

Hi,

I've finished my first foundry quest and so far only have one review from a friend, I was hoping some of you would like to trade

The Lonely Dagger Inn
NW-DHMMZR6BJ

Intended for Solo play.
There is an option for a harder difficulty, this should be played with a group.
A hastily handwritten note scrawled across the bottom of a different job posting requests the help of an Adventurer to rescue a young street urchin's sister. You soon discover, however, that not everything is as it seems. An abandoned temple to Loviatar isn't as abandoned as it first appears, and a growing enemy seeks to destroy everything you hold dear.
V1.2: "some stuff wasnt quite right" has been fixed .
v2: Lowered the difficulty of the encounters, the normal difficulty should now be soloable.

There's a few things in particular I'd like to know if at all possible.

Is the difficulty about right?
Is the quest the right length?
Would you like more story?

I would like to add a duplicate map of the temple, taking the player back in time to the temple before it fell. This would mostly be story with very little, if any, combat. As I don't believe you can make map transitions optional, would this be worth the added length for those who just want to run through?

Lastly, would it be terrible of me to ask for ideas for a better title or description? I'm clearly not very good in that area and what I have now doesn't exactly sound enticing! :rolleyes:

Thank you,
Avatre.

sskmom · June 2013

I am needing reviews for my 1st foundry as well

I will go play your foundry now and if you could review mine I would greatly appreciate it. The code is NW-DLA4ZT606 - Riddle Masters. My quest involves riddles and jumping puzzles and is about 19 min long- I hope that is ok. Take care!

avatre21 · June 2013

Hi, thanks I will play yours in the morning (it's 3:46am here now), it certainly sounds interesting!

talli0 · June 2013

Just finished your quest. Thought it was really well done and very polished. Definitely the best foundry I've played in a while.

To answer your questions:
1) I finished it with a lvl 38 TR and parts were kinda challenging but not too bad. I made it through without dieing but had my companion go down during a couple of fights. I liked the difficulty where it was.
2) Perfect length.
3) Always would like more story. I'm planning on running through the quest a second time to get more into the story. I've run and reviewed enough story-lite quests that I often find myself ignoring it. With yours, I think I wasn't paying enough attention somewhere and got confused about what character was who. Chantelle, a little girl, some dwarven lass...I missed some connection somewhere and finished the quest feeling a little confused.

But like I said, I'll try running through the quest tomorrow and see if I still am at the same level of confusion and jot down some specifics to send you.

Otherwise, awesome job.

And if you could, I'm always looking for reviews for my quest (info is in my sig). I tried to make mine particularly interesting in terms of story as well so would like to know what you think.

darkanind · June 2013

NW-DUCYKYQHA
Playing yours now. I'd like to know the same questions that you're wanting to know as well.

darkanind · June 2013

Difficulty: Pretty easy for a level 49 Cleric, so if I can do it, anyone should be able to. Just not 100% sure on the level 60s yet, as I'm still working my way up there. :P
Length: Perfect for when it qualifies for a daily.
Story: I think there's plenty in there right now. I kind of stopped reading after a while, to be honest.

I think this is a good foundation to a great quest. You just need to fix some typos (IE one of the prisoners was named "Customized Skin...") and placement errors (one of the doors wasn't placed against the wall, it was kind of floating). Otherwise, a good start!

sskmom · June 2013

I just finished your quest and I thought it was great!! I did think the 1st fight was a little tough- I actually died once - lol. I am not the best fighter though so that might just be me. I was on a 42 CW. The rest of the fights I thought were well done and not too hard - just right for a solo player. I did see a few typos but just minor things. The quest said defend the second prisoner when it was the 1st prisoner. Also wondering if it should be defeat instead of defend? A few things were still named foundry titles like the second prisoner was called" customized commoner human," bones in the final prisoners cell were called "ground bones 01" and the door leaving the cells was "crypt door-iron small." I really loved the sound effects in that room - very fitting

In the final prisoners room - I think you said the key would be in the keg but it was in bones instead but I could have remembered that wrong. The final thing I saw was that the ghostly vision (in the room with the blood pool) said "thing" instead of "think". This was right after she laughed if that helps you find it. I really loved your quest though and all of these things were so small that if I wasn't looking specifically for things to help you with - I wouldn't have noticed them at all. I think you have a wonderful talent for storytelling and I can't wait to play your next quest - great job! So as for your questions - I think the difficulty was perfect, except for that 1st fight might be a little tough. Perfect length and the story was done well enough that more story would actually be fine. Very good foundry - you should be proud

pavvo · June 2013

Hi. Have just played and rated your quest. Quite interesting storyline. One comment, your NPC prisoners, when you interact with them, some of them have the template name (Corrupted prisoner 01, etc...)
Would help to rename them.

Appreciate a review of my quest Amulet of the Shining Sun (2nd quest of the campaign). Links in my sig below.
Cheers

redneckronin · June 2013

Just played this as a level 13/14 Grd-F.

Went smoothly, a couple of fights were tough enough to make me wish I'd waited a bit and brought a companion along.

The story (and I am big on story as a driver for the quests) was very nicely thought out and delivered. There was nice use of reskinning to deliver mobs with a different feel to them.

Some of the larger room in the crypt could, in my opinion, do with a bit more Decor, a bit more "clutter". Especially as they are to an emerging Cult Of Loviatar. Perhaps an encounter or two with "cultists" rather than just Undead. But all in all a nice solid quest.

I enjoyed it.

PS: If you get a chance, try "A Missing Man" (details in my sig) I'd appreciate in-game and/or forum comments.

All The Best

avatre21 · June 2013

Decided to PM my responses, so keep an eye on your inboxes!

avatre21 · June 2013

I should have returned all reviews now. Still looking to trade more, any takers?

maerwin · June 2013

hello, the link for my quest is in my sig. I will play your quest tonight of tomorrow morning, once I get to the game

redneckronin · June 2013

Many thanks avatre21, I sent you a PM back, stay tuned it should be soon, maybe even later tonight.

All The Best

avatre21 · June 2013

Hi Maerwin, I've reviewed your quest and sent a PM with a few notes. I hope you enjoy mine

Anybody else have reviews to trade?

avatre21 · June 2013

Fixed the floating doors (apart from the last but one, that's supposed to be like that). Changed the generic names. Added a few cultists in (and plan to add two more when it'll stop crashing on me).

Still hoping to trade for other reviews.

caustic8 · June 2013

Thanks for making this quest. The dialog was great and the story was interesting. You've put a lot of emphasis on telling a good story and I think that's important.

The variable difficulty was a nice touch.

For the first boss fight you have a small crypt door that disappears when its unlocked. That works and it's fine. Something that might make that interaction more immersive would be to replace that with the standard room transition door. Then, just in front of that place a closed crypt door object that disappears. You could use an invisible wall also that disappears if you have the key. Then the player could interact with the real door and it would swing open... instead of disappearing.

After unlocking that door and entering that first boss room, she didn't appear. I walked out and back in and she appeared. Not sure what you're using to trigger the NPC to appear but maybe move the trigger closer to the door?

And the last thing... others have already mentioned it... the floating doors.

Thanks again for the great story.

If you have a chance, mine is:

NW-DA8O42CFF - A Short Dig

I've heard some reports that it is too difficult for high levels and too easy for low levels. So... any confirmation either way would be appreciated. Thanks

maerwin · June 2013

Hello, I played through your quest. I really liked your storytelling style! Here are a couple of things I have put down while playing:

Your transition door are misplaced (they are before the actual wall. You should move them further)
You could add some rocks on the ceiling when you get into the crypt, to make it more believable that you actually fell down.
There were some floating traps in the first room, and no switch to be found for them
The second prisoner has a default name
The bones (where you get the key) have default name
In the black-and-white plane, the door seem out of place. Wouldn't an arch or portal be better (as I guess the plane wasn't 'real')? Also, you have a 'go to next map' objective there

avatre21 · June 2013

Hi Caustic8, I've just sent you a PM. Thanks for sharing your quest

The doors and generic names had both been changed, so I'm a little confused now. I'll have to take another look. I did crash rather a lot today, so maybe I published without checking the changes had been saved. Thanks

The traps are only supposed to show on the hard difficulty, will need to check that again. Finally, yes a portal or an arch would be better, I'll change that too

Edit: Ah, I see. I have made the changes, but the foundry seems to be stuck on 'currently publishing'.

avatre21 · June 2013

Still hoping to trade reviews

EDIT: This quest is apparently broken at the moment. Moved the floating door and must have moved it too close to the wall as it's now unclickable. Obviously, the foundry had to go down after that.

mosby1 · June 2013

Rats! I wish I had read your note first hehe. I got to the final door back to the inn, but was unable to interact with it.

Here are my notes so far:

Overall, a good, enjoyable story. More decorations (maybe some lighting changes) would be nice.

The combat was quite challenging for a poorly geared 59 TR, but that's probably about where you want it.

Dialogue was good. Noticed one minor typo - deceived was misspelled (from Chantelle, IIRC).

The door behind the acolytes isn't quite right. I think you have the invisible wall (to "unlock" the door) on the wrong side. The door opened first (disappeared), then the invisible wall unlocked it, vanished, and the door was open. Also, you need set the name for the Invisible Wall 20x20, so it says "Locked Door" or whatever.

Since I didn't get to review this one, I'll try your other one.

avatre21 · June 2013

Sorry about that, I only just discovered it today. I have made a note of what you've said though and will take a look as soon as the foundry is back up. I'm a bit stuck about what to do with that door, I did just have a crypt door that filled the space well but doesn't open so having it disappear was a bit jarring. I'll have to play around a bit more.

avatre21 · June 2013

I have added some big changes to this quest now.

The temple has been polished and I'm satisfied it's done. I just hope I haven't overdone it a bit.
I have added an entirely optional - additional - story element to the temple. If interested, just look around a little bit closer.
I have fixed typos and floating doors (again).
Fixed the door at the end of the temple so it is now clickable again.

I'm pleased with how it looks now, but I'm unsure about the - extra - bit. (I don't want to give anything away!) To anyone who is still willing to trade reviews or re-reviews, please take a look at this additional story and let me know what you think. Is it interesting enough to be worth the added time? Or do I need to rewrite it and flesh it out more?

Thank you!

redneckronin · June 2013

avatre21 wrote: »

I have added some big changes to this quest now.
The temple has been polished and I'm satisfied it's done. I just hope I haven't overdone it a bit.

I have added an entirely optional - additional - story element to the temple. If interested, just look around a little bit closer.

I have fixed typos and floating doors (again).

Fixed the door at the end of the temple so it is now clickable again.

I'm pleased with how it looks now, but I'm unsure about the - extra - bit. (I don't want to give anything away!) To anyone who is still willing to trade reviews or re-reviews, please take a look at this additional story and let me know what you think. Is it interesting enough to be worth the added time? Or do I need to rewrite it and flesh it out more?

Thank you!

Will do it now.

Have just finished version 1.1B of Part 2 of Call of the Wild (uploaded and awaiting review if you are interested).

So need a break from the editor.

All The Best

avatre21 · June 2013

Definitely interested, I'll get right on it.

redneckronin · June 2013

Really liked the use of Dynamic Lighting, made the place feel threatening without making it too dark or claustrophobic. Bits of rubble, and weeds growing through the cracks add nicely to the "feel". Found one of the "Books", will have to have a re-play to find the other.

Just for "fun" I tried "Hard Mode" got my rear-end handed to me - LOL.

One thing to note: In the final dialogue with the High-Priestess Ghost you have what I think is supposed to be "unconvinced" in there; its spelled incorrectly, and almost reads like "inconvenienced". Whichever it is supposed to be it needs a correction, and it doesn't quite flow grammatically with the way the sentence is structure.

I would suggest changing the Tags around the Hard Mode Warning as well, as I almost missed it, then thought "ah, what the hell".

I am fairly sure I gave 4/5 last time, so with this review I really had no choice but to up it to 5/5. What you have done has improved the look and feel of the whole quest.

All The Best

avatre21 · June 2013

I'll fix that, thanks. Just PMed my response to your second quest

mee2002 · June 2013

Wow. I need a minute here to... just wow. I found that quest immensely captivating. The action was well paced. The dynamic lighting was perfect. the story was absolutely amazing. So glad I got to play it after your extra addition as well! Definitely going to have my friends try it. Do have some notes:

- The first prisoner turned on me before I could finish reading her dialogue. The combat knocked me out of the window so while I was fighting her, the original her was still there and I had to talk to her again.

- Last dialogue with Sian closed before I could finish reading it. I just saw a quick screen flash of it.

- After getting the key from the Acolyte the body stands up and dies again.

- During the fight with the priestess the girl you save (forgot her name) steps down to cower, then pops back up in the air afterwards. (I liked her cower text though!)

- Finally, there's some slight tweaking to be done in the extra part you created. There are 4 prison cells that I don't think are supposed to still be interactive. There are some doors you can open that lead to nothing (south part). Also if you walk past the exit portal, your special effect ends and it's just an empty hallway.

As to your original 3 questions: Difficulty was fine on the easier setting for a 31 GW w/ cleric pet. Challenging but very passable. Personally, I don't think the quest could be long enough for me! But it seems like a good length for a first installment. People who don't care about the story can probably get through it pretty quick if they want to. I think that answers number 3, but just in case YES! I want more story!

avatre21 · June 2013

Thank you mee2002! I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and I think you're the first to finish the added story bit! I'll make the changes you suggest and see what I can do about the prisoner knocking you out of the conversation.

This quest is now available as a daily foundry! woohoo!

lolsorhand · June 2013

I'll give it a go, adding it to the list. (If it's short I'll do it in-between events.) Would really like a review in return to tip my dwarven quest to five reviews.

avatre21 · June 2013

I'll get right on it lolsorhand

I meant to do that from your post yesterday and got sidetracked.

lolsorhand · June 2013

avatre21 wrote: »

I'll get right on it lolsorhand I meant to do that from your post yesterday and got sidetracked.

Not sure if you went for a hack 'n slash-ish quest type, but it kind of felt like it. (Added with story elements.) Which I did enjoy. Though when you switch areas like that, normally it has to do with something. Should be a reason for that loading screen, as in detail limit hit or something else that makes sense. -

For example, I believe many areas could have been melded together into less. (Using teleporters and rooms on the map.)

Ingame review: Decent story, some nitpicks here and there but mainly the overuse of areas. - Encounters are challenging in the good way, did this solo however but I'll replay once further improvements are made.

Trading Reviews - The Lonely Dagger Inn

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