how did cooper wire invented? that one time i dropped a copper coin in front of 2 dwarfs.......
2 adventurers sitting in the bar table bragging about their story of slaying a dragon.... the bartender roll his eyes and give them a contemptuous smile
the adventurers get angry and shout at the bartender "so mate why dont you tell us one of YOUR story?"
bartender pointed at the half-orc lady in the back, "well i married her"
adventurers ".............all hail the true dragon slayer!!"
Dungeons and dragons coming to neverwinter?
guess i'm very lucky that i'm living in the Netherlands,
No creepy dungeons or scary dragons coming 'cause here it's alwayswinter!
xxnytexxMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 6Arc User
edited May 2013
Why arent Control Wizards allowed around children?
Cause there considered a choke hazard.
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chillingfeelingMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 9Arc User
edited May 2013
The reason that tinkers, guards, smiths and the rest of the craftsmen are never physically present in the game is because their stats are so powerful, that they could kill lord Neverember by simply looking at his eyes, and they are equipped in tier 15 gear that is of pinkish color.
The reason henchmen can't help you craft is because they can finish impossibly powerful artifacts using only a stick, a toothbrush, the remains of yesterday's Dwarf-stew, and ductape. Really, really cheap ductape.
These deeds were done to protect the fairness of Neverwinter.
ztormxxMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 3Arc User
edited May 2013
Two fully Armored Tyrsmen (Paladins of Tyr) stop a wagon full of drow leaving Neverwinter "Okay... where's the poison at drow?"
Caption at the bottom of the picture "Racial Profiling: It had to begin somewhere" lol
ZTORM!!!
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belsamMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 8Arc User
edited May 2013
My 2 favourite DnD jokes:
A dwarf and an elf step into a restaraunt and sit at the table. The waitress asks if she could take their order.
The Dwarf says. "I'll take a 24oz steak. Rare. With a bottle of Dragonfire."
The Waitress responds, "And what about the vegetable?"
The Dwarf looks at the elf and growls, "He'll take the steak too, and HE'LL LIKE IT!"
A Human, a Dwarf, an Orc and an Elf each reached the mouth to the cave of an ancient red dragon. This dragon had been ravaging the country-side of each race's kingdom and they were each sent to slay it.
The Human drew his sword and charged headlong in screaming, "I do this for my kingdom!" where he's swiftly swallowed whole.
The Orc brandished his axe and charged headlong in yelling, "For my bretheren!" where he's swiftly swallowed whole.
The Dwarf then pulls a jar full of Black Lotus extract from his backpack, jams it in the elf's belt and pushes him into the cave screaming, "I do this for my kingdom!!!"
(A dwarf in one of my campaigns has actually done this to the elf player)
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dainogas1Member, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 5Arc User
edited May 2013
Why did Cryptic make a "best joke" competition , to punish some poor sod , and make em read em all
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jinrummyMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 2Arc User
edited May 2013
Wizard, "But I rolled a natural 20 why am I having to rez"
DM, "well you did light the tavern on fire to see the monsters! What else did you expect?"
Do you know why dwarves quaff beer and not drink like all the other?
So the beer quench the beard, the only safe way to keep you lovely cared beard healty if you work to a forge.
a half orc, an elf and a halfling wondering through a cave find a magic lamp, the elf rubs it and out pops an efreet,
the efreet offers them a wish each... the half orc wished to be back in his tribal homeland as chief.....<POOF> he's gone
elf wishes to be home too.... <pooof> he's gone... 3 seconds later theres a <poof> and they are both back with the halfling....
the elf said ' what happened?' the halfling replied 'i got lonely'
No wonder Lloth is so evil...
Putting up with everybody laughing at her misspelled name, wide-spread arachnophobia, and of course, all that racism, it's just harsh.
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randj83Member, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited May 2013
Have you ever wondered why Nashers are so against Lord Neverember? because all they can do is nash there teeth why try taking him down
A primer:
I design/build electric motors for a living. While doing so we had to align two shafts to one another.
Coworker: What do you think about this shaft's alignment?
Myself: I don't know, Lawful Good?
Coworker: No, I think Chaotic Good.
Myself: Yeah, you're right.
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kissmoofyMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 1Arc User
Comments
2 adventurers sitting in the bar table bragging about their story of slaying a dragon.... the bartender roll his eyes and give them a contemptuous smile
the adventurers get angry and shout at the bartender "so mate why dont you tell us one of YOUR story?"
bartender pointed at the half-orc lady in the back, "well i married her"
adventurers ".............all hail the true dragon slayer!!"
guess i'm very lucky that i'm living in the Netherlands,
No creepy dungeons or scary dragons coming 'cause here it's alwayswinter!
Cause there considered a choke hazard.
The reason henchmen can't help you craft is because they can finish impossibly powerful artifacts using only a stick, a toothbrush, the remains of yesterday's Dwarf-stew, and ductape. Really, really cheap ductape.
These deeds were done to protect the fairness of Neverwinter.
A: Because to be more racially specific, they're actually half man, half ling.
For the orcs, the goblins are smart and dangerous rivals...
For our party they are around 45 XP.
:P
give him a parchment with please turn over written on both sides
Caption at the bottom of the picture "Racial Profiling: It had to begin somewhere" lol
ZTORM!!!
A dwarf and an elf step into a restaraunt and sit at the table. The waitress asks if she could take their order.
The Dwarf says. "I'll take a 24oz steak. Rare. With a bottle of Dragonfire."
The Waitress responds, "And what about the vegetable?"
The Dwarf looks at the elf and growls, "He'll take the steak too, and HE'LL LIKE IT!"
A Human, a Dwarf, an Orc and an Elf each reached the mouth to the cave of an ancient red dragon. This dragon had been ravaging the country-side of each race's kingdom and they were each sent to slay it.
The Human drew his sword and charged headlong in screaming, "I do this for my kingdom!" where he's swiftly swallowed whole.
The Orc brandished his axe and charged headlong in yelling, "For my bretheren!" where he's swiftly swallowed whole.
The Dwarf then pulls a jar full of Black Lotus extract from his backpack, jams it in the elf's belt and pushes him into the cave screaming, "I do this for my kingdom!!!"
(A dwarf in one of my campaigns has actually done this to the elf player)
DM, "well you did light the tavern on fire to see the monsters! What else did you expect?"
The second Dwarf dies.
(Can't be drinking hydrogen peroxide now can we)
So the beer quench the beard, the only safe way to keep you lovely cared beard healty if you work to a forge.
the efreet offers them a wish each... the half orc wished to be back in his tribal homeland as chief.....<POOF> he's gone
elf wishes to be home too.... <pooof> he's gone... 3 seconds later theres a <poof> and they are both back with the halfling....
the elf said ' what happened?' the halfling replied 'i got lonely'
.
.
.
Ground Beef!
Poison Ivy
Putting up with everybody laughing at her misspelled name, wide-spread arachnophobia, and of course, all that racism, it's just harsh.
I design/build electric motors for a living. While doing so we had to align two shafts to one another.
Coworker: What do you think about this shaft's alignment?
Myself: I don't know, Lawful Good?
Coworker: No, I think Chaotic Good.
Myself: Yeah, you're right.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
ohhh man
+1