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Forums > Home› Neverwinter Discussion › General Discussion (PC)

Neverwinter Jokers and Jesters Wanted!

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  • mickwanmickwan Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero Users Posts: 43
    edited May 2013
    how did cooper wire invented? that one time i dropped a copper coin in front of 2 dwarfs.......

    2 adventurers sitting in the bar table bragging about their story of slaying a dragon.... the bartender roll his eyes and give them a contemptuous smile
    the adventurers get angry and shout at the bartender "so mate why dont you tell us one of YOUR story?"
    bartender pointed at the half-orc lady in the back, "well i married her"
    adventurers ".............all hail the true dragon slayer!!"
  • camlordcamlord Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Dungeons and dragons coming to neverwinter?
    guess i'm very lucky that i'm living in the Netherlands,
    No creepy dungeons or scary dragons coming 'cause here it's alwayswinter!
  • stixman214stixman214 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What did the elf say when he ran into a bar? Ouch.
  • alexarisalexaris Member Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What monster loves to cross-dress? A dragon. :P
  • xxnytexxxxnytexx Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 6 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Why arent Control Wizards allowed around children?

    Cause there considered a choke hazard. ;)
  • chillingfeelingchillingfeeling Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 9 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    The reason that tinkers, guards, smiths and the rest of the craftsmen are never physically present in the game is because their stats are so powerful, that they could kill lord Neverember by simply looking at his eyes, and they are equipped in tier 15 gear that is of pinkish color.
    The reason henchmen can't help you craft is because they can finish impossibly powerful artifacts using only a stick, a toothbrush, the remains of yesterday's Dwarf-stew, and ductape. Really, really cheap ductape.
    These deeds were done to protect the fairness of Neverwinter.
  • stixman214stixman214 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What did the Dwarf say when he swam upstream into a brick wall? Dam.
  • kitzahshadowdrakkitzahshadowdrak Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    An Elf, A Human, And a Tiefling walk into a bar, the halfling walks under it.
  • w33doctorw33doctor Member Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Dungeons and Dragons game can never make me board.
  • kg1066kg1066 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Why couldn't the half elf run through the dungeon? Elf and safety.
  • zbluggzblugg Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 22 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Q: Why do Merfolk are offended when they're described as half man, half fish?

    A: Because to be more racially specific, they're actually half man, half ling.
    21.jpg
  • w33doctorw33doctor Member Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Want to hear a good joke? Foundry.
  • blognutsblognuts Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    For the goblins, the orcs are powerfull enemys...
    For the orcs, the goblins are smart and dangerous rivals...
    For our party they are around 45 XP.
    :P
  • traderborgtraderborg Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    how do you keep a halfling thief from going through your backpack?

    give him a parchment with please turn over written on both sides
  • nxclass13nxclass13 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 7 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    That Dwarf was so fat...I hit him with Deft Strike and got a loading screen...
    Full Frontal Nerdity - A group that spans across STO, CO and NWO
  • markuspainmarkuspain Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    a gnome passing trough Newerwinter . . . "ouch, nevermind ..."
  • ztormxxztormxx Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Two fully Armored Tyrsmen (Paladins of Tyr) stop a wagon full of drow leaving Neverwinter "Okay... where's the poison at drow?"
    Caption at the bottom of the picture "Racial Profiling: It had to begin somewhere" lol


    ZTORM!!!
  • belsambelsam Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 8 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    My 2 favourite DnD jokes:

    A dwarf and an elf step into a restaraunt and sit at the table. The waitress asks if she could take their order.

    The Dwarf says. "I'll take a 24oz steak. Rare. With a bottle of Dragonfire."

    The Waitress responds, "And what about the vegetable?"

    The Dwarf looks at the elf and growls, "He'll take the steak too, and HE'LL LIKE IT!"

    A Human, a Dwarf, an Orc and an Elf each reached the mouth to the cave of an ancient red dragon. This dragon had been ravaging the country-side of each race's kingdom and they were each sent to slay it.

    The Human drew his sword and charged headlong in screaming, "I do this for my kingdom!" where he's swiftly swallowed whole.

    The Orc brandished his axe and charged headlong in yelling, "For my bretheren!" where he's swiftly swallowed whole.

    The Dwarf then pulls a jar full of Black Lotus extract from his backpack, jams it in the elf's belt and pushes him into the cave screaming, "I do this for my kingdom!!!"

    (A dwarf in one of my campaigns has actually done this to the elf player)
  • dainogas1dainogas1 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 5 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Why did Cryptic make a "best joke" competition , to punish some poor sod , and make em read em all
  • jinrummyjinrummy Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Wizard, "But I rolled a natural 20 why am I having to rez"
    DM, "well you did light the tavern on fire to see the monsters! What else did you expect?"
  • w33doctorw33doctor Member Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Two Dwarfs walk into a bar. One Dwarf orders H2O. The other says "I'll have H2O, too."
    The second Dwarf dies.

    (Can't be drinking hydrogen peroxide now can we) ;)
  • workhanworkhan Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Do you know why dwarves quaff beer and not drink like all the other?
    So the beer quench the beard, the only safe way to keep you lovely cared beard healty if you work to a forge.
  • traderborgtraderborg Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    a half orc, an elf and a halfling wondering through a cave find a magic lamp, the elf rubs it and out pops an efreet,
    the efreet offers them a wish each... the half orc wished to be back in his tribal homeland as chief.....<POOF> he's gone
    elf wishes to be home too.... <pooof> he's gone... 3 seconds later theres a <poof> and they are both back with the halfling....
    the elf said ' what happened?' the halfling replied 'i got lonely'
  • laudimuslaudimus Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 37
    edited May 2013
    What do you call a Rothe with no legs?
    .
    .
    .
    Ground Beef!
  • sliph007sliph007 Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What do you get when you cross an assassin and a druid?

    Poison Ivy
  • adamarionadamarion Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    No wonder Lloth is so evil...
    Putting up with everybody laughing at her misspelled name, wide-spread arachnophobia, and of course, all that racism, it's just harsh.
  • randj83randj83 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Have you ever wondered why Nashers are so against Lord Neverember? because all they can do is nash there teeth why try taking him down
  • hirameki2000hirameki2000 Member Posts: 5 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    What you mean by ''this game has a lot of bugs"? Are you saying that my horse shoudn't be flying?
  • revealedrevealed Member Posts: 14 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    A primer:
    I design/build electric motors for a living. While doing so we had to align two shafts to one another.

    Coworker: What do you think about this shaft's alignment?
    Myself: I don't know, Lawful Good?
    Coworker: No, I think Chaotic Good.
    Myself: Yeah, you're right.
  • kissmoofykissmoofy Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    azghorra wrote: »
    Back in the 3.5 days, I always wanted to run a landshark that had the half-fey template. From the description in the Fiend Folio:


    That way, I could run a Bulette with Butterfly Wings. :D

    HAHAHAHAHAHA
    ohhh man
    +1
This discussion has been closed.