The Brightstone Explorers' Guild

dtz

With the Foundry's demise, I'm archiving my quests via Youtube. The playlist is here:



Latest chapter:

Campaign: NWS-DJR3DJBFI
Author: @Dark_T_Zeratul


All chapters:

Brightstone I: The Plague
NW-DS87JWVCC
FEATURED 4/15 - 4/29/2014
"Yer' good ol' dungeon-crawling, monsta' smashin' 'venture." -ferociousapple


Brightstone II: The Hunt
NW-DEA2G7VOA
FEATURED 5/13 - 5/27/2014
"Lot of work went into making this a fun, yet challenging quest." -pinaddarr


Brightstone III: The Dig
NW-DN59EI2MS
FEATURED 12/2 - 12/16/2014
"FANTASTIC ADVENTURE full of twists and intense battles." -sleaine


Brightstone IV: Skullfire
NW-DHRN4J7J4
"The details you put into your work really stands out! story is great! that's why we follow your works and will play it over and over again!" -sngreluna


Brightstone V: Angels and Devils
NW-DGR3BVRFW
"Another great adventure... Professional quality. Did I mention should have 6 stars?" -dalewyn45


Brightstone VI: Vengeance
NW-DH9X8F2EL
"This campaign has made me tear up... it hits you hard." -koneko1234



Black Ice and Plaguefire (sidequest - Cult of the Dragon contest entry, Honorable Mention)
NW-DA9IKSMJW
FEATURED 12/31 - 1/12/2015
"Really superb story and rendering. Thoroughly enjoyed this!" -goldenthug

basilisque

Alright, I've played through this and I've got some feedback to give.
First off, I'd like to say that despite the fact that consistent content production is generally a good thing, I don't think that pumping out a new quest every week is in any way a good idea. At the very least not when you're doing quests of this length.
Take some more time to test, design and improve your quest rather than trying to focus on getting a new one out.

Now, as far as the quest in question (heh) goes, the first thing I'll comment on is the environments. They generally seem pretty bland, especially the village which quite seriously appears to be just a bunch of houses slammed down next to a road. There's next to no signs of habitation, and... I know it's plague ridden, but the only living thing we see is the guard. Additionally there's no real surroundings either, and you definitely don't get the feeling that the village is located in the mountains. I could just get on my horse and ride up the small slopes surrounding it, allowing me to see the empty green void surrounding the whole thing. You seriously need to look into adding more detail to your maps.
I will say, however, that the transition between map types was very nice.

As far as the dialogue goes... Well, it's generally pretty good! I didn't expect to find myself saying this, but the dialogue pretty much carries this quest. It's no literary masterpiece, but it does what it's supposed to do without feeling like too much or too little.
In addition the characters are actually pretty well characterized. Heck, I honestly think it's a shame that the quest doesn't revolve primarily around working with the kobold tribe.

The combat is... well, average. It's a bit repetitive, and apart from that one time where I aggroed a whole room full of mobs and once and had to use my artifact it wasn't really all that challenging. But there was variation and it wasn't a complete walkover, so it gets a passing grade. Funnily enough the easiest part was the bosses, but then again I'm rolling with a dire wolf so that isn't very surprising.

Final Score: 3/5. This quest has a lot of room for improvement, but it is generally solid and if you work on making your maps more appealing then this could easily reach a solid 4/5.

Cheers, and best of luck!
-Basilisque

dtz

Thank you very much for your feedback. I can't say I necessarily agree with every single point, but it's definitely been taken into account.

Anyway, the beta of Chapter II is complete: NW-DEA2G7VOA

dtz

I've made a few modifications, and I'm ready to consider chapter 2 final barring any major feedback.


Name: Brightstone II: The Hunt
Author: @Dark_T_Zeratul
Short Code: NW-DEA2G7VOA

dtz

It's much rougher than the previous two betas, but Chapter III: The Dig is complete: NW-DN59EI2MS

tipadaknife

Playing chapter 3 now, 36 hunter ranger in green gear.

Need ambient sound for the guild hall. Tephra speaks a little too quickly to strangers about forbidden lore. Should she be more circumspect? Rosie offers a drink but won't let me get one.

It's hard to adjust to so many correctly spelled words combined with decent grammar. I need a moment.

Leaving the guild map to go to next map wants better interact text. I thought people were going to tell me how to get to the next place?

Nice ruins and arch in Tower Approach. In fact, the whole map is very well done.

Sironas claims no wizard can approach the tablet because magic will send it away. What if the player IS a wizard -- or has a wizard companion?

If you're lighting the spider caves with purple glowing pillars, do you also need the torches? Might be spookier without default lighting.

Statur with rings in drow priestess encounter -- might want to have more descriptive interact text, "examine the statue closely", something like that.

I feel compelled to point out that lots of the mobs in the spider caves are casters of one sort or another....

That iron golem snuck up on me -- nice

Nice use of invisible walls.

Overall -- I loved it! This was a wonderful adventure, and I really enjoyed myself. Can't wait to play the other chapters. Tipped and rated.

If you could play Tempest in a Freepot, short code in my sig, I would be very thankful.

dtz

tipadaknife wrote: »

Need ambient sound for the guild hall.

Actually, I should really look into adding it for all three chapters.

Tephra speaks a little too quickly to strangers about forbidden lore. Should she be more circumspect?

She does that a bit in the other chapters. It's just who she is. As far as whether anything will come of it, well... I guess we'll just have to see. Mostly, though, she - like most of the NPCs there - is an homage to one of my friends' D&D characters.

Rosie offers a drink but won't let me get one.

If I could add a vendor option to her, I totally would.

It's hard to adjust to so many correctly spelled words combined with decent grammar. I need a moment.

Hahaha! Thanks!

Leaving the guild map to go to next map wants better interact text. I thought people were going to tell me how to get to the next place?

It's mostly a workaround because the front door is also the abort exit and can't also be used to transition between maps, but you're right that it's a bit awkward. I'll see about finding a better way to work that.

Nice ruins and arch in Tower Approach. In fact, the whole map is very well done.

I can't take credit for it, alas. In this case, I used preset maps from the Foundry because they fit the story I wanted to tell. I just added the cave and filled out the encounters.

Sironas claims no wizard can approach the tablet because magic will send it away. What if the player IS a wizard -- or has a wizard companion?

Sironas is not being entirely honest.

If you're lighting the spider caves with purple glowing pillars, do you also need the torches? Might be spookier without default lighting.

Lighting is something I haven't really fiddled with yet. I'll try and nail it down for the final release.

Statur with rings in drow priestess encounter -- might want to have more descriptive interact text, "examine the statue closely", something like that.

Good idea.

I feel compelled to point out that lots of the mobs in the spider caves are casters of one sort or another....

See my previous comment about Sironas not being entirely honest. I may vary them a bit more, though.

That iron golem snuck up on me -- nice

Oh. That's good. He wasn't showing up when I was playtesting it, and I figured that since it wasn't a critical encounter I'd just release the beta and try to fix it later.

Nice use of invisible walls.

Thanks!

Overall -- I loved it! This was a wonderful adventure, and I really enjoyed myself. Can't wait to play the other chapters. Tipped and rated.

Much appreciated.

If you could play Tempest in a Freepot, short code in my sig, I would be very thankful.

I'll put it on my list and see if I can't get to it this weekend.

orangefiree

Sorry about the delay, playing through part one now.

1.) You may want to add some responses to the NPCs. I feel like I am just blowing them off.
2.) The exit is a little too close to the Thurl Hammerhaft.
3.) The goblins could use some customization.
4.) The kobolds could use come customization as well.
5.) Standing in the plagued pool seemed a little weird. I wouldn't think most people would go that deep to inspect it.
6.) The undead could use customization too.
7.) Same with the orcs.
8.) You may want to use a different base encounter for Jakk Tornclaw. I would recommend the Formorian totemist my self.

Overall, I thought it was a good quest. The only thing holding it back is the lack of enemy customization.

I will do your others soon as well.

dtz

Thanks for the suggestions. I made the change to Jakk, and I also fiddled a bit with the Guild Hall across all three chapters to make the side door the abort exit, eliminating the funky workaround for not being able to go out the front door when it's set to the abort exit.

Also, thanks to everyone who played chapter I, it's now out of the For Review tab! Huzzah! Still need a few more on chapters II and III, though. But, speaking of chapter III, it's been polished up and is now out of beta:


Name: Brightstone III: The Dig
Author: @Dark_T_Zeratul
Short Code: NW-DN59EI2MS

dtz

I've added some additional elements to the Guild Hall in chapters 2 and 3.

Also, I really need to stop making retroactive modifications to it. Replicating a change across six maps is a pain.

tiborrus

I just played The Plaque with my Lev.60. GWF.
The quest was good! Maybe in Duvik need more "live enviroment"(some sick NPC, debris, etc.).Fights in the cave was challenging! Grat!

orangefiree

Sorry about the delay, playing through part two now.

1.) That beginning dialogue was great!

2.) The wolf was not dead like I was told. He was standing there alive and well.

3.) Some customization on the devils might be nice.

4.) Aww, I wanted the other adventuring party to live so I could rub in their faces how much they underestimated me later.

5.) It is really hard to interact with the horse for some reason.

orangefiree

Playing part three now.

1.) Foreman second conversation: "yuo" should be "you".

2.) "safetY" should be "safety".

3.) The drow zombies could use some customization, maybe give them drow looking gear and a little darker skin?

4.) Some customization on the drow might be nice.

5.) The frozen wight costume was very nicely designed.

6.) Usually driders are a little more powerful.

dtz

orangefiree wrote: »

he wolf was not dead like I was told. He was standing there alive and well.

Unfortunately, setting non-humanoid NPCs to "Dead Body" doesn't seem to work well. I'm trying to think of another solution.

It is really hard to interact with the horse for some reason.

I'll look into that.

dtz

Just published the beta of Chapter 4:

Name: Brightstone IV: Skullfire
Author: @Dark_T_Zeratul
Short Code: NW-DHRN4J7J4

Please let me know if anything isn't working; I confess I have not tested everything as thoroughly as I have in the past.

Also, I've decided to switch from publishing Tuesdays to publishing Thursdays; it fits my schedule better.

chieori

Greetings dtz! First off, thanks for reviewing my quest, much appreciated!

I had a chance to run The Brightstone Explorer's Guild - Part 3: The Dig today. Your story is well written and intriguing, it kept me looking for the next thing to happen, I liked that. The detailing on the maps was well done and the combat smooth, yet challenging in the right spots. Nice work!

I did notice a few things on my run ...

Inside the guild hall - the 2 plagues on the wall were a nice touch, though in both cases, the sword and the dagger are hovering in air a few inches off the wall.
- Was nice being able to talk to all the patrons and give it more atmosphere.

Tower Approach - Objective "Speak with Sironas" - this seemed a little odd to me, as I never spoke to him outside or even saw him, yet it completed and said I spoke to him. (suggestion) change it to "Meet Sironas at his Tower" or something similar.
- from the talk with Durgan and later with Sironas, it seems the tower was not built all that long ago, yet the outside appeared really overgrown and let go, if he has the resources to hire miners and adventurers, wouldn't he be able to pay someone to take care of the grounds?

Typo? - Sironas - 2nd box - ".. spoken with awe all across ever corner of Faerun!" every

Sironas - conversation - during the first part of the conversation, I mention I have never heard of "her either", yet he doesn't mention the wizard is a "her" till the next section. How did i know?

Objective - Enter the caves beneath the tower - This whole portion seemed a bit odd to me, though it could just be the way I interpreted the setting. When I spoke to the Foreman, he said he would not continue digging, until something was done about the spiders. Yet, when I came back out, the cave opening was clear and the miners were just chilling there. Wouldn't they be afraid the spiders would attack again? and shouldn't they have since the cave was open now? Seemed like a good opportunity to have the player open/move/blowup the last rocks covering the cave, then proceed inside to take care of them.

Guardian - Last chat box - the guardian stands up on the last box, but since the previous conversation was of him kneeling, the screen does not change, so your talking to his knees there.

Objective - Return to Neverwinter - This seemed a little off, since your not actually supposed to return to Neverwinter "anywhere" but to the Guild Hall itself. Though the icon for it is on the map, not everyone will notice it and may go someplace else.

Giving the tablet to Durgan - The ending seemed a bit short and cut off ... He starts off saying "Well, that's quite the story!" yet I haven't spoken to him, or told him any details of the story. Also, why should I give the tablet to Durgan or the Brightstone Guild? How do I know they won't use it themselves or sell it to Sironas after I am gone? If I am going to just give it to them, I think they should give me some promises or something, stating they will take good care of it and not use it for ill will etc. Other wise, why not just take it to Knox myself?

orangefiree

Playing through part four now.

1.) The brazier really changes the look around a lot more then the other objective based around previous quests. You may want to make it more proportional.

2.) We have a room full of seasoned adventurers, but they are all afraid of this one assassin?

3.) The cultists looking like Thayans is a little weird.

3.) The undead could use some customization.

4.) Why are there wererats here?

5.) This whole second map can be skipped by the way. (Any transition objectives can be completed by leaving and coming back in.) I would recommend adding another objective to make it to the end.

6.) The drow could use some customization.

7.) I assumed the arachnomancers were intended to be drow, but they don't look drow like at all.

8.) Usually driders are rather powerful, these ones die in a few hits.

9.) The illusions look pretty real to me.

10.) The door I need a key for is labeled as "Universal - Wood 01".

11.) The end objective and transition says "Go to next map".

12.) Overall, the quest was good. One thing I would recommend is cutting down on the combat a little. It seemed like a lot more fighting compared to your others without any conversations in between.

6.)

dtz

Well, unfortunately, I ended up having to remove the water from the hallways in Chapter 4, because it was causing pathing issues. Melee enemies aren't particularly challenging when they refuse to move if you're shooting them from range.

EDIT: Other changes I've made as of version 0.5:
*The wererats' combat text makes it more clear that they're a competing faction that simply considers the sewers their territory.
*Misc. text fixes
*Added an objective in the first Sewer level to prevent it from being skipped
*Changed up a couple of the encounters
*Added music to the sewers
*Added objects in most of level 1

EDIT2: This has been a very busy week for me, so I've decided to give myself an extra week to really polish this one up as it deserves.

dtz

And Chapter IV is finalized! I'm gonna be taking a break for a couple weeks, since there's real life stuff I'm busy with, but I'm aiming to get the beta of Chapter V out on the 27th.


Name: Brightstone IV: Skullfire
Author: @Dark_T_Zeratul
Short Code: NW-DHRN4J7J4

dtz

Just a little preview of what I'm working on:

dtz

Sorry it took so long to get this out - between Reaper of Souls, a bunch of random stuff happening and a job interview, things have been very busy for me lately.

But enough of that. Chapter V, Angels and Devils, is now published: NW-DGR3BVRFW

orangefiree

Ok, playing part five now.

1.) Kayleth dialogue: "aan" should be "an".

Other then that I didn't notice any issues, it seems very well polished, especially for a beta quest.

dtz

Thanks for the compliment! Updates to the non-beta version are mostly music and more doodads.


Name: Brightstone V: Angels and Devils
Author: @Dark_T_Zeratul
Short Code: NW-DGR3BVRFW

dtz

A word of advice to anyone working on a campaign: try and think about what maps you may need to reuse so you can preserve them by duplicating quests. Having to remake them from scratch by manually entering in all of the coordinates for all the objects is a serious pain in the butt.

orangefiree

Congrats on getting featured!

Why didn't you take my advice with the enemy customization though?

dtz

I know you and I differ here, but I don't feel that every single enemy and NPC necessarily needs to be fully customized. I usually save that for either custom monsters or named characters. If I just need a basic squad of orc grunts, though, I have no problem with just throwing in the default orc grunts encounter and leaving it as-is.

orangefiree

Makes sense, I was just curious.

melinden

The Hunt

I played this with my level 24 TR ( I guess I need a second 60 to get my Module 3 artifact!). I didn't do a detailed review of your first quest in the series since I know you can't change anything in the featured quest.

I like the way you constructed this story, it unusual and kept my interest. Generally speaking any more details you can add will help. Items in the guild hall, flowers and shrubs and animals to the forest. It helps make the maps seem more vibrant.


Play through notes:

-the added details in the guild hall are great. I would recommend adding a fire to the fireplace. The other thing is that in the detail set things tend to skew red/orange/yellow and this is especially so when we use orange and yellow lights (which make the most sense for indoor human spaces). So you might want to look at the banners and other details with black, blue, and purple, for example. It helps break up the monochromatic sets.
-in Durgan's first dialogue "hazard" has an extra Z "hazzard" ( that Hazzard was the spelling of the county from Dukes of Hazzard, which is why everyone knows it)
-the dialogue in the guild hall is great
-there is a Wind backdrop element that might be a nice addition to the Neverwinter Wood map, some ambient sound for the forest at nice would be good too
-the campfire fight would have been deadly on my level 60 DC. You may want to experiment with difficulty sliders now that you have more experience if you want a wide range of players to be able to finish.
-nice blackout scene!
-I liked being able to avoid some of the combat by running around carefully, I appreciate those options

melinden

I played with my level 25 TR. This quest wasn't as strong as your others. It seemed somewhat rushed. You used premade maps which didn't have very much added to make them unique and the story was basic. You might want to consider returning to this one and spending more time on it to bring it to the level of your other quests.


Play through notes:

-you might want to consider having Sironas teleport the player to the mines or something like that. It can be frustrating to load a map just to run a short distance across it, more so if players have older or slower computers.

dtz

I've updated Sironas's Tower in Chapter 3, for... reasons.

orangefiree

Congrats on getting featured again!