Enjoyed your quest. Great environments, and an interesting story. A little different than most. I don't know if you've tweaked the sparkly guide since a few of the earlier reviews, but I was able to get around and it appeared when needed, so, nice job.
Now, some suggestions: I would recommend that you go through all the written parts with a fine-tooth comb. There are a bunch of (very minor) things that could use some fixin' up. sentences that don't start with a capital or end with a period (like this one) Also a few too many ...'s. Sentences like "I remember now!..." Go with either the exclamation point or the ... not both. The "..." is definitely over-used.
A few spelling mistakes I wrote down: "Retrive the Chest" should be "retrieve". The line "from being gnaw on" should be "gnawed". "Your the last one to see him" should be "you're the last one to see him". "Get your barrings" should be "bearings". "It was indeed my Fathers" should be "Father's".
Got interrupted twice while attempting to talk to Squiggles. Now obviously in reality you could get attacked while talking to someone, but it is a little annoying when you're trying to read a character dialogue. Maybe have those spiders attack just before you get to Squiggles, or just after.
So yeah, the writing definitely needs to be cleaned up. Some of the character dialogue's (especially the non-essential ones early on) could use a little work. When you get to the final room, it does feel like it's at the end of the quest, so it felt a little odd to have to suddenly fight in the arena. It also felt weird because I know you have an separate "arena" type quest attached to this campaign. I was confused about whether I'd entered that one or not. My suggestion would be to (a) shorten that sequence down a little bit, and/or (b) have the spirit provide a solid reason why he needs you to battle in this arena (you may have done this, but it didn't register properly). Maybe he demands that you prove your worth before he will give you more information.
So, a few "negatives", but this is a real good quest that could be even better with some polish. Looking forward to Part 2.
4/5
I would really enjoy watching a video review of mine if you have time (info in sig).
lolsorhandMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero Users, Neverwinter Knight of the Feywild UsersPosts: 981Bounty Hunter
edited June 2013
I'll give it another shot when i wake up Normally either stuck in the foundry or IRL, but can't really work my maps atm with this foundry glitch. It's somehow dropping my 3d editing fps to 1-4 ^^
But i'll play through it with my 60 Rogue. (I enjoyed the time i played it last time though, just got confused. And that might have been me being tired. Usually give a quest a few playthroughs before i review it.)
Got interrupted twice while attempting to talk to Squiggles. Now obviously in reality you could get attacked while talking to someone, but it is a little annoying when you're trying to read a character dialogue. Maybe have those spiders attack just before you get to Squiggles, or just after.
My suggestion would be to (a) shorten that sequence down a little bit, and/or (b) have the spirit provide a solid reason why he needs you to battle in this arena (you may have done this, but it didn't register properly).
Yeah I need to revisit the final map "it was the first content I made, now after all the additions it doesn't fit in 'as is' just need the time and motivation"
Plus with all the helpful feedback I've noticed the quest as a whole is longer then I had planed for "so I need to figure where I can cut some fat"
Re: the npc's, it's not something I'd spend too much time worrying about. Just basically there are like 10 npc's in the beginning, and we have to talk to all of them to find the one we need to talk to, but they really don't have anything interesting to say for the most part. They basically provide a sense that some bad things have happened, which you could accomplish just as easily using 1 or 2 npc's along with the chat bubbles.
No problems. English is not my first language. If you can help...i would be very happy!
Actually negative feedback is better since we can improve the whole thing.
I would be happy to help, if you send me a private message I will give you my e-mail. and if you want to e-mail me a copy of your dialogue "like if you have it saved in Microsoft Word, or another Word processing program" I would be more then happy to go over it and give you notes/suggestions. I'm not amazing when it comes to spelling and grammar myself, but I might be able to lend a hand with dialogue structuring :]
Didn't even realize you did a video for my quest. Thanks for the review man. Map visuals and sounds have been updated a bunch just recently and i'm gonna be pretty much just getting the story ironed out now.
Just pushed your Beginnings quest to be eligible for daily! I liked the scenery but it seemed odd that most of the town is not explored through the quest. I think a lot of people will never actually see it. Also, the exit being so far from the reward chest is a bit of a pain, I'm betting a lot of people are just going to exit map. Could use a bit more filler in some areas (though mine are the same).
NW-DPTTECLTF - Cindy Jones and the Holy Stein. A simple but hopefully entertaining foray into the world of Foundry.
Played your quest today. Left some notes on the review but wanted to give more detail here.
I can see that you put alot of thought and effort into the quest. I really liked some of the atmosphere and maps that you used. I couldnt tell what parts you added or what was detail from premade maps which is a good thing.
I found that for me personally the quest felt too long. Once I ported out from the scribe and then was in the cave to find my way up that was the bit where I felt I would have been happy to end. The extra couple maps then got me to be a little frustrated and wanting to skip dialog to get to the end. (I was rushing to be somewhere so that would have been part of the problem)
I can see what people mean by not knowing who to talk to with so many npc's early on. After the first 3-4 I just quickly hit through until I found someone who let me continue on the story. Didn't read it sorry although it probably was a good story line.
(Don't be offended I always start my games with great intentions of getting into the lore but eventually the need to kill things overcomes me and I want to get to it.)
Couple things I didn't like or noticed. After climbing over the fence via the crates I ran toward what looked like a door in the distance but hit an invisible wall instead. Didnt like clicking that to transition when the door was over there.
I also died when looking for the scribe in the end room after the mob spawns and found that when I was running back I didn't even need to kill them I could bypass down to the scribes room. I felt like I should have been made to take my revenge before moving on.
Inspecting thing like the pipe and the book and interacting with a big floating ball instead of the item itself just felt wrong. I know some people might miss the details but sometimes that is the exciting thing about finding a small detail.
Finally I guess the arena was just a bit confusing. Am i up here or down there, wait here no back up. It didnt feel like a nice flow. And the bad thing about me skipping some of the dialog with the length I simply didnt know what or why I was doing something.
I think people who really like the lore behind what they do will really like this quest. Personally I am glad I played it but wouldn't be signing up for it tomorrow for the daily if you know what I mean. I was really impressed with some of the atmosheres though.
Well done.
If you want to have a look at mine they are in my sig. Have a good one.
"A Time Long Forgotten" Whispers in the ForestNW-DPJGEXZJ8- Daily A Salty Sailor's Brew NW-DMOZP625S- Daily Bonds of a Brother NW-DCP9XPZHI - Daily
I liked the scenery but it seemed odd that most of the town is not explored through the quest.
Yeah I get that, but for this Campaign I'm going for that kind of feeling "an open world" following quest are all going to return to the Vally as a starting point "I'll set it up so the various NPCs give out their own quest"
Also, the exit being so far from the reward chest is a bit of a pain.
ok... when you play a game like "LOTRO, WOW, etc..." did you think it was a pain to walk in and out of a building? I'm going for more realistic settings "Magic is special...So I'm not going to use it non stop for everything". And since you "can" just use the exit map button if you get impatient, I'll leave it as it is :]
Could use a bit more filler in some areas (though mine are the same).
I completely agree, But since the Detail count on that map is at 1500 there is nothing I can do T_T I even passed 50NPCs by using a good number of "Guard" encounters as non-hostel/ passive NPCs
Please do a video of my quest the book of the Dead(NW-DH9ZOZ274), Ill play your quest today (done, see my review in game :P)
it's a trade
I already played your first quest and absolutely loved it! I'll gladly play it again and this time do a 'Video Review' lol you quest was one I actually chose to play after reading about it on "Tsumoro's Thread" 'I love the Evil Dead ip'
I can see that you put alot of thought and effort into the quest. I really liked some of the atmosphere and maps that you used. I couldnt tell what parts you added or what was detail from premade maps which is a good thing.
Thank you, It's always a nice feeling when someone appreciates something you put so much work into "I'm also happily surprised you chose to play my longest quest, most would just pick the shortest" ;D I tend to use all 1500 details "Except for small interiors" and everything is hand placed and adjusted to fit the environment/ mood I'm trying to create.
I can see what people mean by not knowing who to talk to with so many npc's early on.
Again, I can understand that opinion, But it's that way on purpose. I wanted it to feel kinda like a murder mystery "But I didn't want to spend half the quest having you figure out what had happened"
Couple things I didn't like or noticed. After climbing over the fence via the crates I ran toward what looked like a door in the distance but hit an invisible wall instead. Didnt like clicking that to transition when the door was over there.
Yeah I definitely agree "But I loved that location so I wont be changing it" that wall is actualy placed there by [Cryptic] and I cant move it.
I also died when looking for the scribe in the end room after the mob spawns and found that when I was running back I didn't even need to kill them I could bypass down to the scribes room. I felt like I should have been made to take my revenge before moving on.
Yeah, well "I cant please all the people all the time" >D even you mentioned the quest being to long for your taste, so if I forced you to kill all the "trash mobs" it would been even longer ;p
Inspecting thing like the pipe and the book and interacting with a big floating ball instead of the item itself just felt wrong. I know some people might miss the details but sometimes that is the exciting thing about finding a small detail.
I can understand where your coming from, again tho "others were commenting that the quest lacked direction, so I put those in as bread crumbs" and there is no "Pipe" it's just the invisible Clickie "and my writing to infer the idea of a pipe" ;D
I think people who really like the lore behind what they do will really like this quest. Personally I am glad I played it but wouldn't be signing up for it tomorrow for the daily if you know what I mean.
Again, Understandable. that quest is not meant to be a "Daily" and I hope the "Lore" centric players enjoy it
Played your second quest today. I really enjoyed this one. I would recommend this for anyone looking to do a simple daily.
Couple of finer points from my playthrough.
I am used to your interact bubbles now but I almost missed some of them as I get in the open and straight to my horse now. Having to stop and dismount slowed the feel a little. I tend to use place markers so that I can continue to ride but get the info in the middle of the screen.
With the wolves they weren't all patrolling which I found strange considering they are tagged as Wandering Pack. Also they tended to be bunched.
Loved the detail you put into the dwarf camp. Appreciate the time you spent. Gave me some motivation to create more atmosphere and detail in my next quest.
Overall good,fun nothing that would tell me not to wanna play this again.
"A Time Long Forgotten" Whispers in the ForestNW-DPJGEXZJ8- Daily A Salty Sailor's Brew NW-DMOZP625S- Daily Bonds of a Brother NW-DCP9XPZHI - Daily
I tend to use place markers so that I can continue to ride but get the info in the middle of the screen.
Yeah, I'm not a fan of long text popping up in the middle of the screen "It disappears too quickly, and If you were distracted there is no way to reread it"
the wolves they weren't all patrolling which I found strange considering they are tagged as Wandering Pack. Also they tended to be bunched.
D< Yeah, they are "Looping Patrols" but for some reason they don't like inclines. So they just randomly stop on small mounds >.< It's been giving me a headache I cant get them to work -_- (They are grouped because they are Patrols, so I cant control their formation)
I think half of the things we see wrong in quests are simply from the limitations in the Foundry. I have had my fair share of strange happenings and I agree sometimes you just can't work them out.
"A Time Long Forgotten" Whispers in the ForestNW-DPJGEXZJ8- Daily A Salty Sailor's Brew NW-DMOZP625S- Daily Bonds of a Brother NW-DCP9XPZHI - Daily
(They are grouped because they are Patrols, so I cant control their formation)
If you change the initial placement in "detail" when you first place the patrol, they should try and retain that formation once they start patrolling.
I used a patrolling wolf-pack in a cave system, as they were originally placed (when I added encounter to the map) they were too wide to get through some of the narrow opening, so I changed their original position to be more "in line" and now they fit through the narrow openings. Its not perfect, by any means, but you can play a little bit with the formation.
Comments
Brethren of the Five, Campaign. - Story focused
The Dwarven Tale - Hack 'N Slash
Brethren of the Five, Campaign. - Story focused
The Dwarven Tale - Hack 'N Slash
Now, some suggestions: I would recommend that you go through all the written parts with a fine-tooth comb. There are a bunch of (very minor) things that could use some fixin' up. sentences that don't start with a capital or end with a period (like this one) Also a few too many ...'s. Sentences like "I remember now!..." Go with either the exclamation point or the ... not both. The "..." is definitely over-used.
A few spelling mistakes I wrote down: "Retrive the Chest" should be "retrieve". The line "from being gnaw on" should be "gnawed". "Your the last one to see him" should be "you're the last one to see him". "Get your barrings" should be "bearings". "It was indeed my Fathers" should be "Father's".
Got interrupted twice while attempting to talk to Squiggles. Now obviously in reality you could get attacked while talking to someone, but it is a little annoying when you're trying to read a character dialogue. Maybe have those spiders attack just before you get to Squiggles, or just after.
So yeah, the writing definitely needs to be cleaned up. Some of the character dialogue's (especially the non-essential ones early on) could use a little work. When you get to the final room, it does feel like it's at the end of the quest, so it felt a little odd to have to suddenly fight in the arena. It also felt weird because I know you have an separate "arena" type quest attached to this campaign. I was confused about whether I'd entered that one or not. My suggestion would be to (a) shorten that sequence down a little bit, and/or (b) have the spirit provide a solid reason why he needs you to battle in this arena (you may have done this, but it didn't register properly). Maybe he demands that you prove your worth before he will give you more information.
So, a few "negatives", but this is a real good quest that could be even better with some polish. Looking forward to Part 2.
4/5
I would really enjoy watching a video review of mine if you have time (info in sig).
Code: NW-DJ5BFT52F
Author: @oortexplorer
Now eligible for Daily Foundry!
But i'll play through it with my 60 Rogue. (I enjoyed the time i played it last time though, just got confused. And that might have been me being tired. Usually give a quest a few playthroughs before i review it.)
Brethren of the Five, Campaign. - Story focused
The Dwarven Tale - Hack 'N Slash
Thank you :]
Thanks for that :]
Thanks I'll take this into consideration
what do you mean? any examples would be appreciated :]
Yeah I need to revisit the final map "it was the first content I made, now after all the additions it doesn't fit in 'as is' just need the time and motivation"
Plus with all the helpful feedback I've noticed the quest as a whole is longer then I had planed for "so I need to figure where I can cut some fat"
lol, thanks
-Visigoth
I hope you find my Review helpful "take it with a grain of salt"
Edit: I needed a little break from this Quest/ Campaign so I've been working on something lighthearted...and with a Dwarven theme.
Code: NW-DJ5BFT52F
Author: @oortexplorer
Now eligible for Daily Foundry!
NW-DMFGWPBN3 The Lost City - Review Thread
A Mysterious Mage by @brunomaltasisko
NW-DH25ZWZ9T
The Gems of Destiny
Author:@brunomaltasisko
Q1: The Mysterious Mage (NW-DH25ZWZ9T)
Q2: The Gem of Time (NW-DIV5JX7J3)
More to Come
Actually negative feedback is better since we can improve the whole thing.
The Gems of Destiny
Author:@brunomaltasisko
Q1: The Mysterious Mage (NW-DH25ZWZ9T)
Q2: The Gem of Time (NW-DIV5JX7J3)
More to Come
The Gems of Destiny
Author:@brunomaltasisko
Q1: The Mysterious Mage (NW-DH25ZWZ9T)
Q2: The Gem of Time (NW-DIV5JX7J3)
More to Come
I can see that you put alot of thought and effort into the quest. I really liked some of the atmosphere and maps that you used. I couldnt tell what parts you added or what was detail from premade maps which is a good thing.
I found that for me personally the quest felt too long. Once I ported out from the scribe and then was in the cave to find my way up that was the bit where I felt I would have been happy to end. The extra couple maps then got me to be a little frustrated and wanting to skip dialog to get to the end. (I was rushing to be somewhere so that would have been part of the problem)
I can see what people mean by not knowing who to talk to with so many npc's early on. After the first 3-4 I just quickly hit through until I found someone who let me continue on the story. Didn't read it sorry although it probably was a good story line.
(Don't be offended I always start my games with great intentions of getting into the lore but eventually the need to kill things overcomes me and I want to get to it.)
Couple things I didn't like or noticed. After climbing over the fence via the crates I ran toward what looked like a door in the distance but hit an invisible wall instead. Didnt like clicking that to transition when the door was over there.
I also died when looking for the scribe in the end room after the mob spawns and found that when I was running back I didn't even need to kill them I could bypass down to the scribes room. I felt like I should have been made to take my revenge before moving on.
Inspecting thing like the pipe and the book and interacting with a big floating ball instead of the item itself just felt wrong. I know some people might miss the details but sometimes that is the exciting thing about finding a small detail.
Finally I guess the arena was just a bit confusing. Am i up here or down there, wait here no back up. It didnt feel like a nice flow. And the bad thing about me skipping some of the dialog with the length I simply didnt know what or why I was doing something.
I think people who really like the lore behind what they do will really like this quest. Personally I am glad I played it but wouldn't be signing up for it tomorrow for the daily if you know what I mean. I was really impressed with some of the atmosheres though.
Well done.
If you want to have a look at mine they are in my sig. Have a good one.
Whispers in the Forest NW-DPJGEXZJ8 - Daily
A Salty Sailor's Brew NW-DMOZP625S - Daily
Bonds of a Brother NW-DCP9XPZHI - Daily
Yeah I get that, but for this Campaign I'm going for that kind of feeling "an open world" following quest are all going to return to the Vally as a starting point "I'll set it up so the various NPCs give out their own quest"
ok... when you play a game like "LOTRO, WOW, etc..." did you think it was a pain to walk in and out of a building? I'm going for more realistic settings "Magic is special...So I'm not going to use it non stop for everything". And since you "can" just use the exit map button if you get impatient, I'll leave it as it is :]
I completely agree, But since the Detail count on that map is at 1500 there is nothing I can do T_T I even passed 50NPCs by using a good number of "Guard" encounters as non-hostel/ passive NPCs
lol Your Welcome,
yeah, I tend to keep up-to-date on forums "Organization is Key"
maybe now you'll keep up your side of the Trade ;D
it's a trade
I already played your first quest and absolutely loved it! I'll gladly play it again and this time do a 'Video Review' lol you quest was one I actually chose to play after reading about it on "Tsumoro's Thread" 'I love the Evil Dead ip'
Thank you, It's always a nice feeling when someone appreciates something you put so much work into "I'm also happily surprised you chose to play my longest quest, most would just pick the shortest" ;D I tend to use all 1500 details "Except for small interiors" and everything is hand placed and adjusted to fit the environment/ mood I'm trying to create.
That's understandable "It's meant to be an Epic Quest, that's why I made the other campaign"
Again, I can understand that opinion, But it's that way on purpose. I wanted it to feel kinda like a murder mystery "But I didn't want to spend half the quest having you figure out what had happened"
Yeah I definitely agree "But I loved that location so I wont be changing it" that wall is actualy placed there by [Cryptic] and I cant move it.
Yeah, well "I cant please all the people all the time" >D even you mentioned the quest being to long for your taste, so if I forced you to kill all the "trash mobs" it would been even longer ;p
I can understand where your coming from, again tho "others were commenting that the quest lacked direction, so I put those in as bread crumbs" and there is no "Pipe" it's just the invisible Clickie "and my writing to infer the idea of a pipe" ;D
There's not much I can do about that ;p its that kind of story...
Again, Understandable. that quest is not meant to be a "Daily"
Again, Thank you very much XD
I'll get to it as soon as possible, and thanks...you too
Couple of finer points from my playthrough.
I am used to your interact bubbles now but I almost missed some of them as I get in the open and straight to my horse now. Having to stop and dismount slowed the feel a little. I tend to use place markers so that I can continue to ride but get the info in the middle of the screen.
With the wolves they weren't all patrolling which I found strange considering they are tagged as Wandering Pack. Also they tended to be bunched.
Loved the detail you put into the dwarf camp. Appreciate the time you spent. Gave me some motivation to create more atmosphere and detail in my next quest.
Overall good,fun nothing that would tell me not to wanna play this again.
Whispers in the Forest NW-DPJGEXZJ8 - Daily
A Salty Sailor's Brew NW-DMOZP625S - Daily
Bonds of a Brother NW-DCP9XPZHI - Daily
D< Yeah, they are "Looping Patrols" but for some reason they don't like inclines. So they just randomly stop on small mounds >.< It's been giving me a headache I cant get them to work -_- (They are grouped because they are Patrols, so I cant control their formation)
Thanks :]
Whispers in the Forest NW-DPJGEXZJ8 - Daily
A Salty Sailor's Brew NW-DMOZP625S - Daily
Bonds of a Brother NW-DCP9XPZHI - Daily
If you change the initial placement in "detail" when you first place the patrol, they should try and retain that formation once they start patrolling.
I used a patrolling wolf-pack in a cave system, as they were originally placed (when I added encounter to the map) they were too wide to get through some of the narrow opening, so I changed their original position to be more "in line" and now they fit through the narrow openings. Its not perfect, by any means, but you can play a little bit with the formation.
All The Best
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