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New Class: "parent"
sirjimbofrancis
Member Posts: 348 Arc User
So, I told a guild mate I was late getting on because I was parenting, and he said I should reroll my class as "parent".
I said no:
1) you get -1 to each ability score due to "constant sleep deprivation".
2) you are required to spend the first hour each day grinding "diaper duty" which after 100 hours gives you the title "HAMSTER slayer". You are required to continue the grind, however, after achieving the title.
3) you can only regenerate HP on a commode.
4) If you drink more than 5 potions in a day, you are required to spend 4 hours the next day at a campfire, or suffer -50% stats.
5) a) you can only have one companion: Spouse. Spouse summons itself automatically at the start of every combat.
b) Spouse has no active bonus, no slots for equipment, and has no attack. Spouse spends the whole combat chasing a
toddler around while carrying a baby.
c) After every 30 minutes in combat, Spouse collapses from exhaustion. Your must immediately manually res Spouse
or Spouse turns into Demogorgan and immediately attacks you.
d) Whenever your companion appears, you have a 15% chance to get "mystery illness", which automatically sets your
recovery to 0. This condition lasts at least one day. The next day, you have a 50% chance to retain this condition.
There is no remedy for this condition.
6) Your mount, whatever it is, will automatically turn into a minivan. It's speed is set at 50% green mount speed.
7) Every day at midnight, you have a 10% chance to lose 20% of all in game currency.
I'll keep my fantasy, thank you very much!!!
I said no:
1) you get -1 to each ability score due to "constant sleep deprivation".
2) you are required to spend the first hour each day grinding "diaper duty" which after 100 hours gives you the title "HAMSTER slayer". You are required to continue the grind, however, after achieving the title.
3) you can only regenerate HP on a commode.
4) If you drink more than 5 potions in a day, you are required to spend 4 hours the next day at a campfire, or suffer -50% stats.
5) a) you can only have one companion: Spouse. Spouse summons itself automatically at the start of every combat.
b) Spouse has no active bonus, no slots for equipment, and has no attack. Spouse spends the whole combat chasing a
toddler around while carrying a baby.
c) After every 30 minutes in combat, Spouse collapses from exhaustion. Your must immediately manually res Spouse
or Spouse turns into Demogorgan and immediately attacks you.
d) Whenever your companion appears, you have a 15% chance to get "mystery illness", which automatically sets your
recovery to 0. This condition lasts at least one day. The next day, you have a 50% chance to retain this condition.
There is no remedy for this condition.
6) Your mount, whatever it is, will automatically turn into a minivan. It's speed is set at 50% green mount speed.
7) Every day at midnight, you have a 10% chance to lose 20% of all in game currency.
I'll keep my fantasy, thank you very much!!!
10
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I may or may not be saying that metaphorically.
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