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*A Captains Log* (Please, read the first one, and reply only in this format)

theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
Captains Log, Star Date 90210.1

As Admiral I have had the pleasure of being the first to test out a new line of ships the Federation has been devoloping in secret for some time now. They call them intel ships. I beleive this should be an interesting command. i am to keep a log of all tasks and events durring the testing of this new ship.

Captains Log, Star Date 90210.2

We have tested out this Eclipse Class Intel Cruiser, and ran her through many simulations, and drone combat senerios. This ship is extreemly manuverable, and a blast to fly. I used my Admiral rights to take the helm quite a few times today. I just could not get enough. She handles like a science vessle, but armed like the cruisers I am used to. I have to let my helmsman get some flight hours in before we take her on a live test.

Captains Log, Star Date 90210.3

Amazingly enough, we have reached what we think is a great foundation of testing, and we all agree, this ship is more than ready for real time combat testing. With all the chaos going around these days, i am certain that we can find some distress call, or pull off a intel gathering mission within a few hours. My crew and I are extreemly excited.

Captains Log, Star Date 90210.4

The time has come, we have recieved a distress call from the Tau Dewa sector, in the Japori System. The signal was broken, but we are advised of a few fleets of pirates attacking a neutral M class planet. We will enter the system cloaked, and see what she can do.

Captains Log, Star Date 90210.5

Okay, we made it to the system, and by the nine, these pirates are ships we have confronted before, but a completely new variation or build. We have hit them with everything, but thier shields and hulls are nearly indestructable. I am borg, I have taken on my own fellow borg, and the dreaded undine for ages, but nothing could prepare me for this. We spent all our torpedo cache, trying to kill one single freighter, and our beams are having little to no effect. We must withdraw. I will try to make a get away, and inform Star Fleet of this new, and completely deadly force. We may need all the allies we have made to date to take on this rather small fleet of pirates.

Captains Log, Star Date 90210.6

I could not make it out of the system, and our ship is barely holding on. I have tried every tactic that worked on so many fleets before, and in vain. We cannot kill a single freighter, let alone the battleships that continue on picking off the romulan warbirds that had sent out the distress signal. I am running out of options. I may have to self destruct the ship, in order to keep our rather useless technology from falling into these already god like pirates hands.

Captains Log, Star Date 90210.7

Self destruct sequence has been initiated. I would like to say to my family, whom may or may not be liberated from the collective as i have, that I love you and miss you. Run, my loves, run to the end of the galaxy, for this new threat is everywhere. Star Fleet has informed me that all ships that call us enemy, are somehow God like. Who could have predicted this? Is this a Q game? I have never met the intity, but I have read all about him.....it.....and all its abilities. Only something like a Q could have done this. Good bye, cruel universe. It has been a nice..................*BOOM*

*Schzzzzzzzzzzz............................* Signal lost.
Post edited by theotherpicard on
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Comments

  • strykewolf67strykewolf67 Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.1

    Crew casualties mounting, fourteen in sickbay with various injuries, four killed by an Excelsior leaving starbase at high impulse. Three missing, presumed lost, when a Miranda engaged it's warp drives while passing through our search area. Bridge officers refuse to stay at their stations. Search for ship weapons that detached upon leaving spacedock continues. Going to need more ev suits.


    :P
    [SIGPIC]http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=91438543000&dateline=1409236387[/SIGPIC]

    Sarah Knightly - Co-leader; Frontier Explorers - U.S.S. Witchblade
    Rias Gremory - Leader; Frontier Marauders - I.K.S. B'ullwinkle
  • betayuyabetayuya Member Posts: 1,059 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    yes!!! you posted it lol

    this is epic
    eywdK7c.jpg
  • a3001a3001 Member Posts: 1,132 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.1

    Command has deemed us worthy of command of a highly experimental ship. "Phantom-class" they call it, "More trouble" is the way I see it. We've also been reassigned to the Jenolan Dyson Sphere in the Delta Quadrant. With gates on both sides active, I can only assume it'll be our job to defend the gate at Jenolan. Either that, or we'll be at the tip of the spear and be assigned to an exploratory squadron to start mapping the surrounding areas. I can only hope the gates will remain active and secured; I'd rather not be reliving the nightmares that Voyager went though nearly 30 years ago in this same exact corner of the galaxy so far from home.
    Rejoice JJ Trek people....

    http://www.arcgames.com/en/games/star-trek-online/news/detail/10052253

    Why are you not rejoicing?
  • bernatkbernatk Member Posts: 1,089 Bug Hunter
    edited October 2014
    best thing i have read all day lol...
    Tck7dQ2.jpg
    Dahar Master Mary Sue                                               Fleet Admiral Bloody Mary
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captains log, Stardate 90210.1

    I am so completely excited, I have graduated the great Starfleet Academy with honors, and have been appointed by default, to the command of a Miranda Class Vessel. not the most impressive ship in the fleet, but her design has made it through 4 generations of star ship redesign. My grandfather served on one of these vessles, and it would be amazing, if not haunting, to walk down the halls he once did. I mean, his ship was blown up due to a warp core malfunction, but hey, they all look alike. Same blueprints, just upgraded technologies. Still, I can see his ghost when i walk down these halls.

    Captains log, Stardate 90210.2

    Okay, this ship is a piece of s***. I gotta hand it to you. She banks like an elephant in tar, her view screen is smaller than the Holo HDTV I used to have in the barraks, back in the academy. Wish I didn't sell it now. I could have had my engineer replace this piece of dog s***. i mean, 3 days, and I have a migrane from squinting at the images on the screen. In point of fact, I screwed up my first ambassadorial mission, by insulting the Xunnians, because they thought I was giving them the look of "quiplit", which to them means I want to covent you fathers' qintinik. I have no idea what a qintinik is, but I am sure i would not want to covent it. I cannot even pronounce it. But, back to the point, I was squinting so hard trying to see his face, I guess my expression matched this ... whatever it was called.

    Captains log, Stardate 90210.3

    ..... I wish. It is rolling onto day 5 now, and I have not found the toilet yet. I have looked all over my captians quarters, and what a huge waist of space that room is, and i cannot find a single indication that my room has been equipped with one. And of course, I am acting captain right now, but i cannot ask one of my men where the rest room is. I have been up and down the halls, trying to hold it in, and at the same time try and look like I am doing captain stuff, and NOT looking for the toilet. I already urinated in 8 uniforms, thank god for replicators. i just hope no one keeps a log of how many uniforms I issue myself, they might get suspisious. I am grumpy all day, constapated, and short tempered. I cannot help it, I have this brown, decaying .... thing growing in my bowels. The doctor thinks there is something up with my mood swings, but i keep telling him I am too busy for a physical. i don't want him to detect this creature. I may wan to keep it, name it, take it on away missions. You never know. Oh my gods, I am going crazy.

    Captains log, Stardate 90210.4

    I am the best captain ever!!! I figured it out, and designed a wonderful way to punish my crew when they question my orders. I have designed a holodeck program of this most awsome toilet room. I had it encrypted, and had Matrix, my commanding engineer, who is also an andriod, good at keeping secrets, program the encryption to be unhackable. The down fall is this, but is also the beauty. The holodeck acts as a reality for the time used, but once deactivated, all actual matter simply remains, or falls to the floor. So, the ... waist ... restroom breaks I have taken, kind of remain behind for the next occupant. So, I have assigned a fake investigation team to look into this, and also set up a pemanent ship duty, no pun intended. So, anyone who crosses me again, will do time cleaning up the Dooty Bandits waste, untill we can catch him or her. What's even funnier, there is a rumor that it's ghost poo. So there is a science team looking into that theory.

    (to be continued)
  • redz4twredz4tw Member Posts: 3
    edited October 2014
    Captain's log, Stardate 90124.1

    After taking a hit from a "Borg Killer torpedo" while rescuing some disconnected borg, I suddenly realize that every single member of my crew, except me is in sickbay or dead. Never mind that they probably only have a slight bruise from hitting the tactical console with an elbow when we got hit, I'm going to have to talk to the programmers at Jupiter Station about the over zealous EMH mk 14 inititating emergency medical beamout. Another torpedo is on a course toward a disconnected cube, as we lose about 1% structual integrity when it hits ,i plan to take the hit for the cube. Collision course engaged. Impact, stubbed my toe on the edge of the captain's chair. What the, good god i'm in sickbay, no one in the bridge to distribute shields.....*static*
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    redz4tw wrote: »
    Captain's log, Stardate 90124.1

    After taking a hit from a "Borg Killer torpedo" while rescuing some disconnected borg, I suddenly realize that every single member of my crew, except me is in sickbay or dead. Never mind that they probably only have a slight bruise from hitting the tactical console with an elbow when we got hit, I'm going to have to talk to the programmers at Jupiter Station about the over zealous EMH mk 14 inititating emergency medical beamout. Another torpedo is on a course toward a disconnected cube, as we lose about 1% structual integrity when it hits ,i plan to take the hit for the cube. Collision course engaged. Impact, stubbed my toe on the edge of the captain's chair. What the, good god i'm in sickbay, no one in the bridge to distribute shields.....*static*



    ROFLMAO!!!!!! Keep em coming!
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.1

    Crew casualties mounting, fourteen in sickbay with various injuries, four killed by an Excelsior leaving starbase at high impulse. Three missing, presumed lost, when a Miranda engaged it's warp drives while passing through our search area. Bridge officers refuse to stay at their stations. Search for ship weapons that detached upon leaving spacedock continues. Going to need more ev suits.


    :P




    Completely funny, I almost peed. Keep em rolling. This is a good way to pass the time, make a funny, report errors in the game, and bust a gut all at the same time.

    Thanks
  • stark2kstark2k Member Posts: 1,467 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captain's Log: Stardate 90210.1

    After testing the new Epic Mk XIV weaponry, we were hopeful of the outcome until we met the Borg. It took 5 highly specialized experimental Federation Starships to take out one Borg Sphere. Causalities mounting, we lost the Lexington, Yorktown, Gorkon, and the crazyhorse when the Borg barraged us with plasma torpedoes. My crew, my people, our systems are down, coolant leak in Engineering, warp core breech imminent. It is only a matter of time before it detonate. To my wife and ki............................... [static]
    StarTrekIronMan.jpg
  • avantgarde01avantgarde01 Member Posts: 273 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Corlin Ravel - Glinn's Log (Starfleet MACO rank of Colonel): 47634.44

    During my time as a member of the officer exchange, I've observed Starfleet officers serving during the worst of conditions. I've seen cadets return from the front lines of the Klingon war just as hardened as combat veterans. I've seen officers who joined Starfleet to explore, return as warriors after facing the relentless onslaught of the Borg. I've seen premature gray hair which can only come from being promoted to Commander, to Captain, to Admiral, all in the same year.

    Throughout all of the adversity, these officers have maintained a sense of hope which has propelled them forward to face the next challenge. However, this expedition into the Delta quadrant seems to be a possible breaking point. Never during my time in Starfleet have I seen the morale of so many officers so low. Even my superior officer, Admiral Sabre, is questioning whether or not the resources being expended in the Delta quadrant are worth the losses Starfleet is incurring. I've heard rumors of decorated Admirals abandoning their posts. I've heard whispers of some commanding officers simply refusing to take their crews into the Delta quadrant.

    I don't know what the C-in-C is going to do, but he damn well better do something. The look I'm seeing in the eyes of officers returning from the DQ reminds me of the look in my father's eyes when he talks about Lakarian City.

    --End log--
  • psiameesepsiameese Member Posts: 1,650 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    This is why I truly miss the original STO website. The Captain's Log and Supplemental entries that we can create in the game today are only seen by ourselves. Back in the day, these logs would appear automatically on the game website. As long as you were logged in to the site, you could read them. Not everyone typed these out in-character. But there have been some clever log entries over the years.
    (/\) Exploring Star Trek Online Since July 2008 (/\)
  • nickcastletonnickcastleton Member Posts: 1,212 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    FYI if your a admiral you should begin you log as such not captains log. :D

    Admirals log: stardate 25102014

    My crew is less than eager to return to the Delta Quadrent and i dont blame them, our losses mount, somehow the borg have adapted to oure most powerful weapons with ease, its hard to imagen that with so many losses the borg have faced over the years that they can still come out and overpower us.

    The Borg are not the worst of it the Voth Undaine all have developed new ships that make our weapons seem like leafs brushing up against a window, if starfleet doesn't act fast we will have no defense against them.

    Admirals log: supplemental

    ive herd rumors of other starfleet klingon and romulan admirals who have been able to hold their own with their task forces, but when i have met them i have seen what it has cost them, they have spent every minute of every hour of nearly every day upgrading their ships, and what is left after that isn't a man or a woman but a machine.

    I wont become a machine, i have a family and a life and if that what it takes then maybe Kirk was right "Gallivanting around the Galaxy is a game for the young"
    0bzJyzP.gif





    "It appears we have lost our sex appeal, captain."- Tuvok
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    psiameese wrote: »
    This is why I truly miss the original STO website. The Captain's Log and Supplemental entries that we can create in the game today are only seen by ourselves. Back in the day, these logs would appear automatically on the game website. As long as you were logged in to the site, you could read them. Not everyone typed these out in-character. But there have been some clever log entries over the years.

    I never knew about the old one, but I wanted to start it anyways. I like comedy, so I will tend to do funny ones, but I love the ones so far that are quite serious. It made me feel like I am acutally there, and not just playing a game. You know, how you over time, become numb to the plot of the game, and see it more as just a thing, when there are stories happening all around you. I will be happy to do some logs based on some really cool events that had happened in real PVE matches, or just buddies and I messing around. It would be neat to see two "captains logs" about the same event, (two buddies on a team doing a patrol) but seeing the event from both eyes. I will have to get my buddy to do this with me if he can write. lol. I love to see the creativity of people, and I hope this post goes on for a long time.

    Thank you so much for being here though, hope to catch you in game, who knows, our journey may be up here one day.

    Cheers
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    FYI if your a admiral you should begin you log as such not captains log. :D

    Admirals log: stardate 25102014

    My crew is less than eager to return to the Delta Quadrent and i dont blame them, our losses mount, somehow the borg have adapted to oure most powerful weapons with ease, its hard to imagen that with so many losses the borg have faced over the years that they can still come out and overpower us.

    The Borg are not the worst of it the Voth Undaine all have developed new ships that make our weapons seem like leafs brushing up against a window, if starfleet doesn't act fast we will have no defense against them.

    Admirals log: supplemental

    ive herd rumors of other starfleet klingon and romulan admirals who have been able to hold their own with their task forces, but when i have met them i have seen what it has cost them, they have spent every minute of every hour of nearly every day upgrading their ships, and what is left after that isn't a man or a woman but a machine.

    I wont become a machine, i have a family and a life and if that what it takes then maybe Kirk was right "Gallivanting around the Galaxy is a game for the young"

    I love your entry, well written. Thank you so much. As for the Captains log thing, I am only going by naval terms, which Gene Rodenberry and I (not at the same time, wish I met him) are from, where no matter your actual rank, Captain means the top dog of the ship. In cases like the old start trek, by book terms and sadly the JJ Abrams thing called star trek, where even a actuall LT. is dubed a captain of a ship. Or commander Worf was "Acting Captain" of the Defiant before he acctually became Capt. in rank. If the actual captain dies, the commander becomes the ships captain, but by no means is his rank increased. This in real life US Navy applies also to an Admiral. Although his stature is the highest of rank, as far as his ships chain of command he is the captain of that ship. So, captains logs in the real navy are always captains logs, no matter the actual rank of the individual. I have not served in an actual admirals ship, so i do not know if this exists, but an Admirals Log would contain entries that have to do with Admiral tasks and procedures, his actual "Captains Log" only deals with his role as a Captain of a Ship. However, if we are really being proper, Admirals are not exactly given ships, it is not thier primary station anymore. Most Admirals tasks are office duty. This is why Kirk Stressed to Picard, "If they try to promote you to Admiral, say no. Here, on a ship, is where we make a difference, not behind a desk." Now yes, Admirals DO have ships, both in real life and in Trek, but that is no longer his primary station. They use them more for simple transport to locations where an Admiral is requested, and even more rarely, in the rear of a fleet durring combat. BUT, I am in no way correcting or ripping on you, I am just saying where I am coming from. But thank you so much for posting, please, keep them coming. I want this thread to stay rather active to avoid being burried. Tell your friends to post one here as well. Funny, serious, even all you role players. If I can get this thing rolling, and see people love it, I sure do, then I will look into getting us all a actual web site for this. Post it for all fleets, and such. Just a place to have fun adding some depth to your characters.
  • redz4twredz4tw Member Posts: 3
    edited October 2014
    Captain's log, Stardate 920598.1

    Exploiters. Q has wiped from the memory of my helmsman the knowledge of the "Rock n Roll" maneuver, along with several armor upgrades to the ship. His reason? We obtained them in an "exploit" as he calls it, claiming we never should have had that knowledge this quick, and that we can only gain it again in the timeframe he deems necessary. I've had it to here with that meddling TRIBBLE *gestures to top of head*. If my chief engineer were to come up with a way to kill him and his damn Continuum, I'd command every ship in the quadrant to do it.
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    redz4tw wrote: »
    Captain's log, Stardate 920598.1

    Exploiters. Q has wiped from the memory of my helmsman the knowledge of the "Rock n Roll" maneuver, along with several armor upgrades to the ship. His reason? We obtained them in an "exploit" as he calls it, claiming we never should have had that knowledge this quick, and that we can only gain it again in the timeframe he deems necessary. I've had it to here with that meddling TRIBBLE *gestures to top of head*. If my chief engineer were to come up with a way to kill him and his damn Continuum, I'd command every ship in the quadrant to do it.


    ROFLMAO, I love you're entries. A funny blast to read.

    Thank you, and hope to see you in game. Its a big universe out there.

    Cheers
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Corlin Ravel - Glinn's Log (Starfleet MACO rank of Colonel): 47634.44

    During my time as a member of the officer exchange, I've observed Starfleet officers serving during the worst of conditions. I've seen cadets return from the front lines of the Klingon war just as hardened as combat veterans. I've seen officers who joined Starfleet to explore, return as warriors after facing the relentless onslaught of the Borg. I've seen premature gray hair which can only come from being promoted to Commander, to Captain, to Admiral, all in the same year.

    Throughout all of the adversity, these officers have maintained a sense of hope which has propelled them forward to face the next challenge. However, this expedition into the Delta quadrant seems to be a possible breaking point. Never during my time in Starfleet have I seen the morale of so many officers so low. Even my superior officer, Admiral Sabre, is questioning whether or not the resources being expended in the Delta quadrant are worth the losses Starfleet is incurring. I've heard rumors of decorated Admirals abandoning their posts. I've heard whispers of some commanding officers simply refusing to take their crews into the Delta quadrant.

    I don't know what the C-in-C is going to do, but he damn well better do something. The look I'm seeing in the eyes of officers returning from the DQ reminds me of the look in my father's eyes when he talks about Lakarian City.

    --End log--


    Awsome, i loved it. This was the one that actually PUT me in the story of the game. It was rather scary, if I was actually in my captains shoes, (thankfully he is a borg, so his emotions are better tuned) I would **** a brick.

    Cheers, and hope to see you in game
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.1

    I hate my crew. Every single last one of them. I have this red headed, hot tempered, down right controling commander, Lt. Jg. Elisa Flores, who has followed me through the academy, and never took the hint that I did NOT like her. She keeps coming to my ready room, trying to get all personal and ****. I hate her, really hate. Then there is my engineering officers, all 3 of them. Dorks, complete dorks. I have NO clue what the hell they are talking about when they get into all this technical TRIBBLE of holoprocessors and TRIBBLE. I hate holograms. All of them. They freak me out like clowns do. All this personality, and you KNOw its all fake. They act like they like you. They like everyone. I wanna shoot most of them in the head with a holo gun. And don't even get me on my science teams. TRIBBLE every single one of those zit faced geeks, and the damned "Super Advenced Dungeons and Dragons, holo edtion MK14" they keep trying to get me to play with them. I don't want to BE a level 20 wizard with 400 dps. What the F*** is DPS anyways? Dynamic TRIBBLE Syndrome? I wish I was stationed on an out post far far away from the Federation. Everyone is too.......goody goody.

    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.2

    Acting commander, Lt Jg. Flores is getting on my last nerve. If ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING happens, she has to pop up in my face and tell me about it, when she KNOWS the entire f***ing time I am sitting RIGHT THERE IN THE CAPTAINS SEAT, seeing everything. I almost lost my ENTIRE CREW, cause that daft tart decided to jump up in my face, and tell me about our next objectives, and this whole time the Hirrogen ship we just shot to hell, is going in to a warp core breach, and about to send me to Davey jones right along with him. She EVEN over ride my command to helm of maintaining full impulse, to STOP MY SHIP, and TELL ME what the objectives are, and that we did a good job. Who the HELL is this woman? I have tried to beg star fleet to let me transfer her to another ship, far far away from me, but they say NO. They say, "For right now she has a purpose, we cannot tell you, but once that plot carries through, then she can be transfered, if you still wish that to be so.". I cannot take this anymore. A plot? What is .... wait a damn minute ... this is a reality show. I am being aired on Earth.
  • hartzillahartzilla Member Posts: 1,177 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captain's Log Stardate: 92421.48

    Having completed current operations in the Delta Quadrant with the defeat of Gaul for the time being we have returned to Earth Spacedock for some R&R and to take advantage of the dilithium weekend to convert all of our hard earned swag into dilithium.

    Captain's Log Stardate: 92421.50

    Must. Supress. Rage. Against incompetent TRIBBLE. TRIBBLE it

    WHY THE [Redacted] DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS GO TO ONE NODE WHEN LIBERATING THE [RRedacted]ing BORG!

    AND NOW THEY [Redacted]s ARE BLOWING THE [Redacted] GENERATORS BECUASE THEY NEVER HEARD OF THE [Redacted] 10% RULE!

    Captain's Log Stardate: 92422.50

    With Special Tasks Forces unwise to join due to weekend... command issues and all dilithium acquisition finished save the refining, its getting boring around here. Urge to restart war with Klingon to have something to do rising.
  • mirrorchaosmirrorchaos Member Posts: 9,844 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    captains log, stardate unknown.

    its floating in the toilet the captains log, i think its time to flush it away.

    *facepalm*


    anyways;

    Captains log, stardate 92421.6
    Vice Admiral K'Mec

    "The excelsior class line has received another upgrade not long after the fleet upgrade, its a fantastic bit of kit. ive ordered the ship to the bolarus shipyards for refit to the latest specifications. My chief engineer, Commander Madlocker has began the overall refit in several key sections on the ship and making sure to keep the original layout as much as allowed with this new upgrade. My first officer, Commander Nirnas states that this is apparently the last upgrade the excelsior would get as there is a newer more powerful line of ships on their way, rumor has it that their latest iteration of starship is not much different then what will be our upgraded excelsior. The refit will take 3 months to complete."
    T6 Miranda Hero Ship FTW.
    Been around since Dec 2010 on STO and bought LTS in Apr 2013 for STO.
  • edited October 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • hartzillahartzilla Member Posts: 1,177 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captain's Log

    There seems to be a rash of metal instability within Starfleet. It seems obvious that the recent problem making it hard to gain experience in the field is a glitch in the latest software update from command seeing as its doing the exact opposite of what they said it would and this isn't the first time an update to fix something borked it worse, and while some officers have raised valid concerns about it and how this needs to be fixed some captains have started ranting about conspiracy theories and how command is out to get us. I'm starting to wonder if maybe some of the [Redacted] have escaped either [Redacted] or [Redacted] and managed infest some of our command personal.
  • redz4twredz4tw Member Posts: 3
    edited October 2014
    Captain's log, Stardate 92153.1

    HAS THE KLINGON HIGH COMMAND LOST THEIR MINDS!? The federation scum has developed their usual "high tech" starships for the century, the typical federation space whale, typical federation escort, and less than impressive science vessel, all outfitted with a standard cloak.

    Is it too much to ask, as a Klingon warrior that we be given our precious Bird of Prey's to compete with this latest line of Federation witchery? I could excuse that, but not only did we not get a 25th century bird of prey, but our raptor, which would be a masterpiece had it's battlecloak given to a rip off the love child of a federation cruiser and a neon bar sign from 21st century earth, that the KDF dares call a battlecruiser!! SINCE WHEN DOES A BATTLECRUISER EVER CLOAK IN BATTLE?? And the whole point of an "intelligence ship" is to be stealthy, that is the job of a raptor, or better yet a bird of prey. I have had enough of the Klingon High Council pandering to these federation peta'Q. Another insult like this, and we just might launch a civil war and make our own damn starships.
  • fuglassfuglass Member Posts: 95 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.1

    I hate my crew. Every single last one of them. I have this red headed, hot tempered, down right controling commander, Lt. Jg. Elisa Flores, who has followed me through the academy, and never took the hint that I did NOT like her. She keeps coming to my ready room, trying to get all personal and ****. I hate her, really hate. Then there is my engineering officers, all 3 of them. Dorks, complete dorks. I have NO clue what the hell they are talking about when they get into all this technical TRIBBLE of holoprocessors and TRIBBLE. I hate holograms. All of them. They freak me out like clowns do. All this personality, and you KNOw its all fake. They act like they like you. They like everyone. I wanna shoot most of them in the head with a holo gun. And don't even get me on my science teams. TRIBBLE every single one of those zit faced geeks, and the damned "Super Advenced Dungeons and Dragons, holo edtion MK14" they keep trying to get me to play with them. I don't want to BE a level 20 wizard with 400 dps. What the F*** is DPS anyways? Dynamic TRIBBLE Syndrome? I wish I was stationed on an out post far far away from the Federation. Everyone is too.......goody goody.

    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.2

    Acting commander, Lt Jg. Flores is getting on my last nerve. If ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING happens, she has to pop up in my face and tell me about it, when she KNOWS the entire f***ing time I am sitting RIGHT THERE IN THE CAPTAINS SEAT, seeing everything. I almost lost my ENTIRE CREW, cause that daft tart decided to jump up in my face, and tell me about our next objectives, and this whole time the Hirrogen ship we just shot to hell, is going in to a warp core breach, and about to send me to Davey jones right along with him. She EVEN over ride my command to helm of maintaining full impulse, to STOP MY SHIP, and TELL ME what the objectives are, and that we did a good job. Who the HELL is this woman? I have tried to beg star fleet to let me transfer her to another ship, far far away from me, but they say NO. They say, "For right now she has a purpose, we cannot tell you, but once that plot carries through, then she can be transfered, if you still wish that to be so.". I cannot take this anymore. A plot? What is .... wait a damn minute ... this is a reality show. I am being aired on Earth.

    Had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe...what the H*LL you trying to kill someone?
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.1

    Today we have been invitied to attend a ship wide concert upon the U.S.S. Enterprise. I am so completely excited. On my ship, the U.S.S. Cornbread, the only music concerts I have heard are all classical symphony music. Now, don't get me wrong, I find great tallent in those whom can play a simple instrament, let alone in mass, with around 150 other musicians. But after a long days work, I like to go to my captains quarters and listen to some good ol 20th century Rock N Roll. One of my favorite bands is Marilyn Manson, or that rapper Eminem. Whatever happened to rap anyhow, or rock n roll? I mean, I have been to our fleet starbase, and sure we got some kind of dance floor TRIBBLE going on there, but it's this really bad "modern techno" noise. All that aside though, I cannot wait to see what kind of suprise the Enterprise will bring to the table. I mean, she is the flag ship of the federation. She has to have some "hip" people on board.

    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.2

    Oh my gods, I just spent 4 hours listening to turbo lift music. That was the concert of the century? Again, all classical TRIBBLE. I mean they played some real classics, hell if I know the names of these guys, let alone the titles of the songs. Fleck in the key of C? What the F*** kind of name is that? Then they had an hour of some other Earth Classics, sh** like Cats, and "the knock down blow". They called it broadway performances. What the hell was broadway, and what the hell were those freaks on? Skooma? The dances were so.......childish, TRIBBLE, and down right TRIBBLE. The music, which goes along with the sceen, did NOT match it at all, and WHO THE HELL BEGINS TO BREAK DOWN IN A SONG, WHEN YOUR BUDDY IS BEING CAPTURED BY A ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER??!! What happened to all the good music? If i hear ONE more f***ing violin, or tuba, I am killing the nearest officer to me!!! I swear it!

    Captains Log, Star Date 90210.3

    Okay, i have set a ship wide order that all music upon this ship is banned, untill i have apporved it. I ordered my engineers to replace the awful classical turbo lift jingle with some Areosmiths, "Love in an elevator", which plays on loop untill I get tired of hearing it. The bridge will play some good ol David Bowie, "Space Oddity". I have the brig playing "Sweet dreams are made of this" by Marilyn Manson, and the 10 forward plays "Money" by my all time fav, Pink Floyd. It has this classy bar sound to me. Later on I will have engineering mount very low frequency lasers on the outside of my ship, along with stelar space speakers, so every ship within 20 Km.s will FEEL the music my ship is thumpin through the galaxy. the lasers will dance and flash to the bass. My ship is going to be the most awsomest ship in star fleet. Oh, gotta go, my favorite lyrics are about to come on, gotta blow my eardrums out.
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captains log, Stardate 90210.1

    Our ship has detected a strange bit of tempral distubance coming from a sector very near the Sol system. The signature is so small, we doubt anyone else has caught onto it, so we are going to head in an investigate it before any other federation flyboy, with his flashy ship, gets the credit for it.

    Captains log, Stardate 90210.2

    We traced the disturbance to the same astroid belt we saved the U.S.S. Azura from a pirate attack. When we arrived, we detected an object passing through this very small crack in the fabric of space and time, according to the reply we got form a humanoid looking man. The object was a small, blue police box, somewhere from the 18th century, England. Being so small, we teleported it directly into our shuttle bay, and I sent in my top security officers, to secure this oddity, in case this was some sort of probe, or trap.

    Captains log, supplemental

    We have secured the box, or phone booth, so to say, and a rather old looking human, who keeps refering to himself as "the Doctor". We have tried to get more from him, like his name, or where he was from, but it got us nowhere. Attatched is the brig's log of the interrogation.

    *Brigs Log, Prisoner 900642 Interogation*

    Comander K'Poc: I am only going to ask you one more time, sir, who are you, what are you, what is your name, and what are your intentions?

    The Doctor: And I have answered your questions a hundred times, so what's the point? I am the Doctor, I am a Time Lord, and I come here from another paralel deminsion. I was investigating THAT crack, and I ended up here. That is all i can tell you, perhaps because that is all i know.


    Comander K'Poc: Your name, Doctor, what is your name?

    The Doctor: Oh my, this again? You just said it, and asked it all at the same time. I am the Doctor, that is it. The Doctor.


    Comander K'Poc: Doctor of what? Medicine? Geology? Metaphysics? What kind of Doctor, and Doctor Who?

    The Doctor: The doctor of every field, actually, and just the Doctor is fine.


    Comander K'Poc: No it is not fine, we need a name. You do understand that your shady answers and constant dodging of a very simple requet as a NAME is, in fact, a bit disturbing? What do you have to hide?

    The Doctor: Nothing, why would i hide something? I told you more than I tell most already, so consider yourself lucky as it is.


    Comander K'Poc: Lucky? Is that a threat?

    The Doctor: What is wrong with your forehead? Is that a scar from some serious skull fractures?

    Comander K'Poc: What?

    The Doctor: Those ridges, your forehead man, what is wrong with it? What year is this?

    Comander K'Poc: I am a Klingon, sir, and how do you not know what year this is?

    The Doctor: You've not been paying attention then, have you? Never mind that, why are you even interrogating me if you cannot even keep up with the answers? I am a TIME LORD. Something in that title should ring a little bell to link that with my last question.

    Comander K'Poc: Stop trying to confuse the situation, sir. This is not some game. You entered into our sector of space through some sort of rip, and you will not answer a single question straight.

    The Doctor: Can I have another interogator? You are an awful one. How about someone without an obvious sign of physical brain damge.

    Comander K'Poc: Excuse me?!

    The Doctor: Your forehead man, please keep up here. How did you get those ripples?

    Comander K'Poc: I am a Klingon, sir, i already told you that. If you do not stop showing such racesist intent, I am going to show you what a Klingon is.

    The Doctor: Raceist? Now wait just a minute. I was only asking you a question, ..... wait, did you say Klingon?

    Comander K'Poc: Yes.

    The Doctor: What is going on here? You're from that show ... from Earth, what did that call it. Awful show, had the physics of time and space all wrong ... what was it ... Star Trek! Wait, oh my ... this is Star Trek! How on ... What the ... This is rather interesting.

    Comander K'Poc: Doctor, what should we do?

    The Doctor: I have no idea, honestly, I have never been to another reality that turned out to be a show from Earth.

    Comander K'Poc: I was not talking to you.

    Doctor Zealiot: I have scanned him for any brain trauma, but he seems to be far better health than a man his age should be. I also detected two hearts. Are those geneticly alterted parts, ... um ... Doctor?

    The Doctor: Oh great, you were standing right there the entire time, and you didn't hear a thing I said. I swear, you talking apes get dumber over time, space, and television program.

    Comander K'Poc: Television?

    The Doctor: *Sighs* Forget it. Look, I need to get out of here and get back to my ship so i can close that rift, and we can all go back on our merry ways. So if you could please remove these re.....

    Comander K'Poc: No! What are you talking about, back to your ship? You don't have a ship, you came in a small escape pod.

    Doctor Zealiot: That was a police box.

    The Doctor: THAT is my T.A.R.D.I.S., my ship. It only looks like a police box, because the chamelion device is broken, and is stuck on that theme.

    Comander K'Poc: Doctor, are you sure he is not injured in any way? No brain damage at all?

    The Doctor: Are you asking me or her?

    Doctor Zealiot: I can run another scan again, but I assure you, he is in tip rop shape.

    The Doctor: Oh, her. Why are you asking her? I am the time lord here, I am the one you are asking about, so ask me.

    Comander K'Poc: Tell you what, Doctor, I will let you sit in here for a few days, and think about how to answer my questions while you do.

    Doctor Zealiot: What? Why? What did I do?

    The Doctor: Yeah, what did she do? She is just as stupid as you are, I don't see what harm she could possably do.

    Comander K'Poc: I WAS TALKING TO YOU!!!

    The Doctor: Oh, well sure you were. You know, its a bit confusing when you keep adressing a doctor and there are two of them in the room. You should be more specific next time.

    *END OF FIRST LOG*
  • talonxvtalonxv Member Posts: 4,257 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Captain's log Supplemental.

    After about the 20th time of trying to be promoted to Admiral, I have made it abundantly clear I will resign my commission and retire before I get kicked upstairs at such a young age. I've heard about there are so many admirals, they are merely glorified captains and I refuse to be pulled above the pay grade anyways.

    I just got a new intelligence officer assigned and was ordered to try the USS Fearless, a Phantom class starship. She feels a bit like an overgrown defiant, but some of the tricks my intelligence officer can do is quite amazing. I am proud of my bridge crew for being so welcoming to the new officer. She's a good fit.

    Admiral Tuvok wants us on patrol ASAP while USS Nike undergoes repairs and upgrades. This ship is nice, but ******n it, I want MY ship back. From reports it seems like the Undine have finally stopped being a pain in the behind while we secure the Delta Quadrant and get ready for the boogymen in the night, the Iconians.

    Well it's time for party night down in the mess. Some of the female officers would like to dance the Lambada with me. Well whatever happens in the mess, stays in the mess.
    afMSv4g.jpg
    Star Trek Battles member. Want to roll with a good group of people regardless of fleets and not have to worry about DPS while doing STFs? Come join the channel and join in the fun!

    http://forum.arcgames.com/startrekonline/discussion/1145998/star-trek-battles-channel-got-canon/p1
  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    @theotherpicard - why... WHY are you not posting tin the Literary Challenges?!
  • theotherpicardtheotherpicard Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    @theotherpicard - why... WHY are you not posting tin the Literary Challenges?!
    What is this? I am confused and interested. What are you talking of, explain.....EXPLAIN!!!! (Dalek joke)
  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    I don't mean to thread-jack but the Challenges are in the Ten Forward forum: check out the stickies. :)
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