*headdesk* My bad. Had a brain TRIBBLE. :rolleyes:
Parts one through three are now at positions 6-8 on the queue.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Starswordc, you said to tell you when I was done fixing up my mission....
I'm excited to announce that "Healing Old Wounds" has been VASTLY updated and rereleased!
Also, HippieJohn from Starbase UGC did a great review about it on The Foundry Roundtable(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxEdg9EwCnA&feature=youtu.be&a)! (I would like to note that the two slight issues addressed by HippieJohn have since been corrected.)
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
My very first Foundry Mission, Healing Old Wounds, has been completely reworked and rereleased!
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
Mission Summary:
In a time where resources are devoted toward the pursuits of a fragile balance amongst the farthest of reaches into the Delta Quadrant, the Federation?s segue to the stars become subject to an unknown threat. Entire starships have gone missing but while disappearances become more frequent, your steady service record has risen into consideration to meet the unknown power at work.
A weighted mystery hangs upon your shoulders as you have been tasked to rendezvous with a cutting-edge vessel which holds a looking glass into the phenomenon. You must utilize the helping hand of the Romulan Republic to reach out to the unknown and hope to grasp onto the return of countless missing officers.
You will face the faceless; track the impossible and collide with the perils of the universe. You must return.. alive.
Updates: Was able to catch some dialogue-bug clipping which rendered info up to 100 chars. All back in place.
I estimate taking about an hour to an hour fifteen minutes to complete.
I chose to locate this in the Noro System, the same location as "The Longing". Though you don't need to know anything about "The Longing", this takes place significantly after that Foundry mission. In "The Longing", the planet ended in Borg possession. By my mission, however, the Borg has lost interest in the system, leaving behind only remnants and a token patrol. A Federation research team has posted a station there to monitor the Borg withdrawal. That station has gone silent, and you are to investigate.
Starswordc, you said to tell you when I was done fixing up my mission....
I'm excited to announce that "Healing Old Wounds" has been VASTLY updated and rereleased!
Also, HippieJohn from Starbase UGC did a great review about it on The Foundry Roundtable(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxEdg9EwCnA&feature=youtu.be&a)! (I would like to note that the two slight issues addressed by HippieJohn have since been corrected.)
I got your in-game mail. I gave it a runthrough over the weekend but I was a little too pressed for time to review in detail. I will say it's a vast improvement over v1.0.
You, wildkazoo, kortaag, and confedinblue are now tenth through thirteenth on the queue. I really need to start blocking out time on the weekends for this.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
I would like to add Scars of the pride, part 1 and Scars of the pride Pt 2:The Claw to your list. They are part of a series which continues the story you will read in perfection.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red. Map "Malcor III":
Good job duplicating the Malcorian face from TNG: "First Contact".
Nice trick with clipping the ambassador's shuttle just inside the planet.
You're having a lot of issues with weird capitalization. For example, convo with Cdr. Alrin Kaleth at the space station:
-- Player responses to "A terrorist group known as "The Center" ...":
--- "I thought The Malcorian people were United?" -> "I thought the Malcorian people were united."
--- "How Would they get access to shuttles?" -> "How would they..."
-- Kaleth: "We are, for the most part. ... center of the Universe, and they see the Garth mission as Heresy." -> "...center of the universe, and they see the Garth mission as heresy." Map "Warp Ship Durken":
Sky castle, nice. I've never had the patience to make those so it's always impressive to see them done well.
The Enterprise-D trophy is floating a little ways up from its stand. Might want to lower the y-coordinate by maybe 0.1.
Convo with the chancellor and Adm. Flores:
-- Oh, so she's that Flores. Nice way to get around the EULA -- people's faces change quite a bit from 9 to 50-something.
Convo with Crilith Anel and Nasin Krola:
-- Anel: "Oh yeah... Do you think I'm Sciencey?" -> "... think I'm sciencey?"
-- Krola: "Perhaps, but that has always been the slogan of conquerors" -> "... of conquerors."
Convo with Kannis Nilrem and Isrin Dalek:
-- Nilrem: "Isrin, I still need you to come in... No Exceptions." -> "... No exceptions."
-- Dalek: "Can't you move me to the back ... The Deuterium injectors ..." -> "... The deuterium injectors..."
Convo with chancellor and admiral:
-- "Executive officer in charge of radishes"? Interesting reference to use for a noodle incident. I had to look that one up.
Convo with in mess hall with Taylan Messick and Idris Onel:
-- Onel: "No Reason..." -> "No reason..."
You know what? I'm giving up on the capitalization issues because it's midnight and I'm tired.
Convo with boffs at bomb:
-- Science: "It appears to be an organic explosive. ... very similar to an alchohol dehydrogenase... using alchohol. Real alchohol... -> "... very similar to an alcohol ... using alcohol. Real alcohol..."
Objectives: Could you not have attached the "get command code from Isrin Dalek" to a Talk to NPC objective on Isrin Dalek instead of using a map popup tied to an object activation?
You're misusing the term "bulkhead". A bulkhead is a wall, not a door. You're thinking of something like a blast door.
Overheard convo at second blast door:
-- Center Commander: "Chancellor Kalem Jonel, your sacred ... "Instead you allow Aliens to Violate it's sanctity." -> "... allow aliens to violate its sanctity."
-- Jonel: "If you're just going to murder me in a musty cave. I'd just assume you go ahead and do it now..." -> Something like, "You're just going to murder me in a musty cave. I'd prefer you to go ahead and do it now...
Convo after rescuing Jonel:
-- Player response to "Very well, but...": "... And beam the unconcscious Commandos to the Brig" -> "... And beam the unconscious commandos to the brig."
-- Kaleth: "Of course, sir" -> "Of course, sir."
Convo with Crilith Anel on bed:
-- Objectives: Since you're using objectives in parallel rather than multiples of the same type (i.e. help 1/4 colonists, help 2/4 colonists, etc.), could you not have designed hers as a "talk to NPC" objective?
-- This whole conversation is made of funny. I especially like the part where my tac boff goes, "Right now, I think the phrase "Beer Goggles" is more appropriate." LOL. Tess Phohl always was a deadpan snarker.
Ran into a weird bug. NPC named Andel Kurth Guardsman Third Class was jumping straight up into the air and moving slowly forward. I'd check into his settings, although it may not be your fault.
Convo with away team tac after talking to all witnesses:
-- Tactical: "We should report our findings to Commander Kaleth" -> "... Commander Kaleth."
Activation point for "Find the Evidence" is difficult to locate. As in, I had to place myself in a specific position to be able to activate the object. Might want to adjust the positioning of whatever object you used for the objective.
Good job forcing an away-team-on-one fight with the Center mole.
Convo with Kaleth after fighting the Center mole:
-- Kaleth: "If I've learned anything today, it's that I can't rule out the unexpected" -> "... the unexpected."
-- Player response to "You've convinced me...": "I Won't let anything happen to them" -> "I won't let anything happen to them."
-- Kaleth:
--- "It is settled then. The Navigation Trials will take place..." -> "The navigation trials will take place..."
--- Player response: "You won't regret it Commander" -> "You won't regret it, Commander." Map "Malcor VII":
Pretty map. I like the interplay of colors with the nebula and the gas giant.
Activatable satellite is unlabeled. Consider changing its name to something other than "Satellite - Federation S 02".
Convo with sci boff upon scanning western asteroid:
-- Science: "This Asteroid contains ..." -> "This asteroid contains..."
Convo with sci boff at anomaly:
-- Side comment, via Eleya RP: *Eleya dope-slaps her science officer.* "Why is it always 'quantum singularity'? Why can't you people just say 'black hole' like the rest of us?"
-- That said, it's a surprisingly accurate use of a black hole. One that size won't perturb orbits much, and I think I read somewhere that scientists think microsingularities like that pass through the Sol System with some frequency without affecting anything.
Convo with Durken:
-- Jakara: "Thank Captain [LastName], ... try the excercise one last time." -> "Thank you, Captain [LastName], ... try the exercise one last time." Map of Garth System (didn't catch the name):
No serious problems with this map. Pretty colors and a cool fight, although you may want to trigger the USS Bozeman to despawn and spawn an NPC contact to replace it: the Borg cube took the Bozeman with it when the core blew. Map "Warp Ship Durken":
Convo with tac boff after scanning devices:
-- Tactical: "Captain, we're fighting a loosing battle." -> "Captain, we're fighting a losing battle."
Convo after fight with assimilated captain:
-- Captain Peers: "We're trying Captain [LastName] ... My Cheif Engineer has an idea..." -> "My Chief Engineer has an idea..."
Impressive triggerwork building the gradual assimilation of the ship. Overall Score: 4.5/5.50 dil tip.
Pros: Good triggerwork, excellent skycastle maps, and the dialog was well written.
Cons: Typos. In addition to the ones I noted above, there were a lot of missing periods and commas. There were also some ... odd choices for how to handle some of the objectives. Still, a little spit and polish and I'd consider this spotlight-worthy. Definitely on my must-play list.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Mission opening dialog was brilliant. Nice way to do a "Previously On" in TV style. But you're still making a lot of capitalization mistakes. Map "Bozeman Bridge":
Convo with Cdr. T'reen:
-- Player response to "Doctor Kr'vol has considerable experience...": "What about my Ship?" -> "What about my ship?"
Side comment: Lt. Kl'nkik's speech reminds me of Slan speech in the Star Carrier books.
Just noticed you stuck a Borg portal out the window. Nice little detail for continuity.
BUG! I encountered a game-breaking bug on my first attempt to complete this map. A non-opening door blocked my way into the ready room on the bridge. I beamed out, dropped, and restarted the mission and it was fixed, but you need to look into that.
Convo with Capt. Peers:
-- Peers: "Captain, I've studied your mision with the Malcorians." -> "... studied your mission with the Malcorians."
Eleya RP: "Damn it. I swore after I got finished with that Guardian of Forever mess that I was through with time travel."
More good triggering for constructing ship assimilation. Map "Bozeman Shuttle Bay":
Fights were a little rough, but not too bad. Good balance.
Convo after scanning Borg thingy (technical term, lol) in shuttle bay:
-- Science: "The problem is, this is only... It may not have a message attatched, but..." -> "... a message attached, but..."
Convo at runabout:
-- Engineer: "The System will Lock if the Luancher Control is directly accessed." -> "The system will lock if the launcher control is directly accessed."
-- Interesting dialog puzzle.
Convo in cargo bay:
-- I just noticed, but the earlobes of the Cardassian Bozeman crew member (Enil Krissett) aren't attached to her face. You may want to adjust her cheeks, though it could be Cryptic's fault.
-- LCDR. Tava Narak: "Yes' but if this is going to work..." -> "Yes, but..." Also, the title bar has "lieutenant" spelled with two 'n's.
-- Narak: "Even if I hadn't locked out all command functions; setting this up remotely..." -> functions, setting this up..." Player response is also missing a period on the end.
-- Are you a Stargate SG-1 fan by any chance? Because when Lieutenant Enil Krissett said, "Today isn't good for me... Maybe a week from next Monday?" I immediately flashed on this line from "Lost City" when Anubis is said to be coming to attack Earth in three days:
Three days from now's a Thursday. Thursday's no good for us.
Map "Bozeman Engineering":
Good work repurposing the "decrepit ship" map (I forget the name but I've used it) for the partially assimilated lower deck. The colors really work.
Convo in engine room:
-- Lt. Kl'nkik: "Lieutenant" is spelled with two 'n's again. Also, "The extrapolation algorythm is ready" -> "The extrapolation algorithm is ready."
Convo at computer (dialog puzzle):
-- Engineer: "Captain, we're going to need to reroute power... the surge supressors will reset the Power System." -> "... the surge suppressors will reset the power system."
-- Engineer: "We could use Power taps from other systems..." is missing a period on the end of the dialog. As is the dialog that comes after it.
Convo after puzzle:
-- Cdr. T'reen: "By all means, Lieutennant: Make it So." -> "By all means, Lieutenant. Make it so."
Convo after fighting Borg:
-- Cdr. T'reen: "In our time period... Lieutennant, put them through." -> "Lieutenant, put them through."
Convo after fighting next group of Borg:
-- Cdr. T'reen: "Then we must endevor to lower them." -> "Then we must endeavor to lower them."
-- Cdr. T'reen: "And what is the 'Bad News'" -> "And what is the bad news?"
-- LCDR. Narak: "In order to push out enough power, we'll have to dis-engage the safties." -> "In order to push out enough power, we'll have to disengage the safeties."
-- LCDR. Narak: "Captain [Lastname], work on disengaging the saftey systems." -> "... disengaging the safety systems."
Convo at engineering console:
-- Console: "External radiation monitor... External radiation levels reache 500 milisieverts" -> "External radiation levels reach 500 millisieverts"
---- Also, kudos are in order. "Scale of the universe" issues are a bit of a berserk button for me, but I checked your numbers with Wolfram Alpha and they make good sense.
Convo after boosting coolant:
-- Cdr. T'reen: "Lieutennant Commander, Now is not the time." -> "Lieutenant Commander, now is not the time." Alternatively, here you could just shorten it to "Commander".
-- LCDR. Narak: "That is, until one brilliant Malcorian... a shadow of it's former self." -> "... a shadow of its former self."
-- Eleya RP: "Oh, Prophets, not another phekk'ta temporal paradox." *headdesks on the console*
-- LCDR. Narak: "Coolant leaks! ... Increase to 250% before we loose the secondary conduits!" -> "... before we lose the secondary conduits!"
Convo after explosion:
-- Player response to LCDR. Narak: "I'm Sorry Lieutennant, but we can't..." -> "I'm sorry, Commander, but we can't..." The correct shortened forms of address for lieutenant commanders or lieutenant colonels are "commander" and "colonel" respectively, not "lieutenant".
Wow. That I did not see coming.
Map "Bozeman Engineering" II:
Excellent map redress! It's almost unrecognizable!
Convo at map start:
-- LCDR. Narak: "I'm sorry Captain, but there wasn't time." -> "I'm sorry, Captain, but there wasn't time."
-- Borg Collective: "Secondary Adjunct of Unimatrix... four-seven for aditional adaptations." -> "... four-seven for additional adaptations."
Convo after assimilating the warp core:
-- The "are you flirting with me?" exchange between Cdr. Stennis and SCDR. St'von made me chuckle. Map "Garth System":
Convo at map start:
-- Player response to first dialog: "I'm honored that she thinks so highly of us, but what happened to: Limiting contact with this time period" -> "... what happened to "limiting contact with this time period"?"
You need to put a blinker object where the activation point for the conduit is. I actually tried to straight-line bullrush past the fleet but I couldn't find the activator. Map "Warp Ship Durken":
*headdesk* See, this is why I despise time travel plots. Seriously? Using the time travel reset button gag? (Granted, I kinda figured that was where this was going.) Map "Garth System" post-USS Reset Button:
End mission dialog:
-- "The End ... Contact Squared: Tribulnal." -> "Contact Squared: Tribunal"
Overall Score: 4/5.50 dil tip.
Pros: Good triggerwork, some good logic puzzles, and the dialog was well written. Definitely on my must-play list.
Cons: A lot of typos (particularly the frequent extra 'n' in lieutenant). In addition to the ones I noted above, there were a lot of missing periods and commas and capitalization issues. And the time travel gave me a headache.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Description:
Memory Alpha has been detecting some unusual readings from a nebula located somewhere in the Delta Volanis Cluster. They have requested a Starfleet vessel to investigate, and Stafleet has chosen you.
From the outset, this seems like a routine, single-ship mission. A nice break from the constant struggles that currently plague the Federation. That is, until you begin unlocking the nebula's secrets...
Welcome aboard. You're #14 in the queue behind Ashkrik23's "Scars of the Pride Part 2".
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Hey,
I'd like to request a review of A Personal Favour (ST-HAOH6LCA6) and/or Lonesome Heart (ST-HGM9WKQKU), please! Both are Federation level 31+ missions. I am @nikkojt in-game, and there is a forum thread here.
Thanks!
I am NikkoJT, Foundry author and terrible player. Follow me!
There used to be a picture here, but they changed signatures and I can't be bothered to replace it.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Description:
Once again the Federation finds itself under the looming spectre of yet another Borg invasion. Since problems almost never come alone, a situation has arisen that requires your special attention:
An unusual artifact was discovered in a planetoid system near the Breshar System by the U.S.S. Audentia, commanded by Admiral Atalanta. It has been some time since Starfleet's last communication with the Audentia and there are reports of increasing pirate activity near that system. You are therefore requested by Admiral Gautier to investigate.
___________________________________ The Unsung Mission - Escalation -
Description:
A dangerous particle, a Section 31 agent in possession of one, and a conduit that is the catalyst to it all. All of which is happening under the shadow of an impending Borg invasion.
The investigation of three ship wreckages is your only bid to find anything that can help you hunt down the Section 31 agent before he unleashes whatever he is planning.
Be forewarned, there are others taking part in the hunt...
___________________________________ The Unsung Mission - Maelstrom -
Author: starfarertheta ID: ST-HST5R3A34 Faction: Federation Level: 41+ Length: 30-60 minutes long Features: - Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Large Scale Space and Ground Battles, - Bonus Objectives.
Description:
In the midst of a Borg invasion, chaos erupts in the Badlands as a task force from multiple factions clash for control over the conduit.
In the midst of this chaos, you must infiltrate the rogue Section 31 agent's base of operations in order to stop him, or anyone else from unleashing a plan of insanity, and you do not have much time.
Before that, however, you must deal with an impromptu situation courtesy of a sabotuer...
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Good mission description. Fan sequels to Cryptic missions are frequently interesting to me.
Mission acceptance dialog has an extraneous partial tag. There's an "/OOC]" on the end of it. Map "U.S.S. Lion's Pride Bridge":
Map could be a little livelier but I'll let that slide.
Convo with VADM. M'Sarabi:
-- M'Sarabi: "Ah good, then you know dangerous this energy substance is." "Energy substance"? Oxymoron much?
-- I'm also seeing a grammatical issue I've harped about before. A lot of dialog options are missing periods on the end. Map "Unknown System":
I loled at the first dialog option in the opening dialog.
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow. Alternatively, let us actually fight the Borg instead of alluding to some presumably epic but conveniently off-screen battle. It's not like this is happening on a TV show where you have an FX budget that needs conserving. Map "Borg Tactical Cube Section #214":
Objectives:
-- First reach marker, tied to "Continue onward" objective, seems to be positioned wrong vertically or is glitched. I managed to walk past it without triggering it.
Convo after destroying assimilated Gorn:
-- First dialog window seems to be calling my shipboard tac instead of my away team tac.
Looks like Voporak broke the timeline again. Or perhaps the timeline broke him this time. Map "Borg Tactical Cube Section #777":
Interesting atmospherics in this section.
Convo with Donatra:
-- I'm a little iffy on the Donatra rendition. I think you could get closer to the in-game version.
-- Tac boff face call came from my ship instead of my away team again. Map "Unknown System, Borg Ambush":
Good map arrangement and the fights were fun. Map "Outpost 77 Under Fire":
All right combat, if somewhat short. Map looks good. Map "Earth Under Fire":
Map comments:
-- Last time I looked the space around Earth was black and starry, not green and cloudy.
-- Got a couple of unnamed Fed mobs here. You named every other Fed ship and a lot of the Borg; why not them?
-- Continuity error. Last time I looked the USS Kirk, i.e. Miral Paris' ship, was an Exeter-class, not a Stargazer-class. Map "Earth Space Dock Under Attack":
Good map construction. Good feel of "partially assimilated but still in progress.
Did you know you could shoot through the windows of Club 47? Because I sure didn't. Not complaining though; meant I didn't have to deal with the chokepoint at the door.
Boss fight was nuts. Had to respawn twice, and WTF was that Ka-cha-thump noise I kept hearing followed by me getting knocked around? Map "Escaping the Armada.":
Admiral Quinn facsimile could use a little work. Map "Warp":
Map could've been rolled into the previous one with the despawn-system-and-go-to-warp trick, especially if you were to turn the sky on the previous map black to make it look more like the real Sol.
Overall Score: 3.5/5.
Pros: Crazy combat (bring refrequencers and use liberally) and generally good map design. Dialog improves later in the mission.
Cons: Second and final maps serve little purpose and should be removed or altered. Ratio of combat to story is a bit higher than I generally like. Dialog feels flat initially, though it improves.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
U.S.S. Kirk was just a name. This mission is not intended to follow any of the game "canon."
I do not see how the unknown system map is superfluous. It would be weird to beam from a person's bridge straight to a Borg cube.
I will address the grammatical errors, thank you. I will also double-check the tactical officer dialogue. Since I don't have the specs for the actual Donatra NPC I made it as close as possible. I haven't found any Admiral Quinn specs to make him better. The reason the place is all green and cloud is because of the Borg assimilation.
Thank you for playing. Part 1 was my first mission so it still has some big rookie errors. I will address these. Part 2 is much better in quality so you should enjoy it .
I have addressed some of the issues and dialogue improvements you suggested.
A few notes.
I think why you thought map 2 was superfluous was because the npcs killed the Borg before you even saw them in front of you. I reduced their numbers to make sure the player gets into the action.
The waypoint on section 214 will not work if you stand in the area when it first spawns. You have to move out of it an back in. Cryptic design.
On the boss battle on ESD, That is a knockback power a Borg drone has. It's the same power the Borg will use on you in the hard power plant Hard mode.
Thank you for helping with improving this mission .
I'd like to throw my two parts into the heap, if you don't mind!
They're parts one and two of my series I'm making, A Quiet Rebellion.
Hope you enjoy them!
---
Mission Name: A Message From Nowhere
Author: SerpentineOne
Project ID: ST-HF862NNJ5
Faction: Federation Starting Point: Wall panel in front of Transporter room on Earth Space Dock.
Level Requirement: Can be played from Level 1.
Runtime: About 30 minutes.
Mission Summary:
Starfleet Intelligence has received a message from a location inside of Klingon space. It was heavily encrypted, but with no known origin.
What does it mean? How important is it? And who could have sent it?
Hi there! I'd love it if you could give my mission a go as I'm after any and all advice regarding how I can improve it should there be any areas that need work
Mission: The Wings of Omicros Mission ID: ST-HNST6WXJK Author:@darkfirewithin Current Version: v1.1
Faction:Federation Level restriction: 16+ Starting Point: The wall panel in front of the ESD Transporter Room.
Duration: Approx. 30 minutes Combat: Ground and Space
Summary: With the Solanae Dyson Sphere and Iconian gateway in Tau Dewa now active, several Delta Quadrant species have started to engage with the Federation, the KDF and the Romulan Republic. One particular race, the Omicronians, wish to become members of the Federation. It is your duty to oversee the negotiations and ensure they run smoothly, as there are hostile forces moving against the integration of the Omicronians joining the Federation.
I think why you thought map 2 was superfluous was because the npcs killed the Borg before you even saw them in front of you. I reduced their numbers to make sure the player gets into the action.
That would do it, especially since I have a tendency to hop over to other windows because Foundry map loading times are longer than usual. The map must've loaded when I wasn't paying attention and the friendly NPCs took out all the Borg for me.
I tend to balance big fleet engagements so that the player and allies are outnumbered. A decent player, even an under-geared one, tends to be worth at least one or two battleship mobs if not more.
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Mission description and acceptance dialog are both very well-done. Map "The U.S.S. Simba":
Nicely busy map.
NPC chatter:
-- Gorn Trooper: "What honor do we have if we allow our citizens to be slayd by machines?" -> "... slain by machines?"
Mission briefing:
-- Side comment, not directed at you: I really wish Cryptic would give us the damn Romulan Republic uniforms already. I mean, I just got given a mission briefing by a friggin' Tal Shiar because it was all you had. Sheesh! Map "The U.S.S. Simba":
Pretty space map but I forgot to switch to the Bajor from the Andraste this time so my feel for the space fighting is skewed (my Avenger eats Borg for a light snack and Voth as the main course, lol). No comment.
Yep, I was right. The timeline broke Voporak this time. Map "Cait System":
Again, top-notch space visuals. No apparent issues with the map. Map "Cait":
Not familiar with this map. And I've certainly never seen that assimilated giant mushroom before. What's the point of that, I wonder?
Convo after scanning second doohickey:
-- Engi boff: "Before the tricorders stopped working, I detected a Pyramid structure off in the distance." -> "... a pyramid structure ..."
Crazy ground battle but more enjoyable than the last one. Map "The Research Facility":
Again, nicely done ground map with good application of Borg bits.
Crazy frakking boss battle, but still fun. And a good, classic Trek moral choice at the end: One life or trillions? Map "Cait System, Fate of the Galaxy":
Mostly fighting, but good to see the carry-over of the moral choice. Although, minor technical thing: Would it have been possible to use a trigger to carry the choice from the first dialog featuring it to the second? (Serious question; I really don't know.) Map "The U.S.S. Simba Bridge":
Not much to say here, just the epilogue. Overall Score: 4.5/5. Would have tipped but reviews are down.
Pros: Hafta say I liked part 2 better than part one. Not much in the way of triggerwork but the dialog was well-done, the maps were pretty, and the moral choice on the second Borg Base map was a Star Trek classic.
Cons:
Denouement felt a little bit sudden. From the dialogue it felt more like a case of "temporary inconvenience to Federation Alliance" rather than "billions dead all over both quadrants" as I would have expected from the scenario.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Hi there! I'd love it if you could give my mission a go as I'm after any and all advice regarding how I can improve it should there be any areas that need work
Mission: The Wings of Omicros Mission ID: ST-HNST6WXJK Author:@darkfirewithin Current Version: v1.1
Faction:Federation Level restriction: 16+ Starting Point: The wall panel in front of the ESD Transporter Room.
Duration: Approx. 30 minutes Combat: Ground and Space
Summary: With the Solanae Dyson Sphere and Iconian gateway in Tau Dewa now active, several Delta Quadrant species have started to engage with the Federation, the KDF and the Romulan Republic. One particular race, the Omicronians, wish to become members of the Federation. It is your duty to oversee the negotiations and ensure they run smoothly, as there are hostile forces moving against the integration of the Omicronians joining the Federation.
Huh. My current project has basically the same starting premise, although I'm going in a vastly different direction.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Comments
Parts one through three are now at positions 6-8 on the queue.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Mission: Of Terror and Darkness
Faction: Fed
Author: @voporak
Level: 50
ID: ST-HS98ZW5VI
As noted in the thread for OMaE, I made lots of changes based upon your review and Evil70th's.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
I'm excited to announce that "Healing Old Wounds" has been VASTLY updated and rereleased!
Also, HippieJohn from Starbase UGC did a great review about it on The Foundry Roundtable(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxEdg9EwCnA&feature=youtu.be&a)! (I would like to note that the two slight issues addressed by HippieJohn have since been corrected.)
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
Title: Foothold
Author: wildkazoo
ID: ST-HN6PZ5EJS
Faction: Federation
Min lvl: 41+
Make sure to bring some remodulators. And the story takes place after the Infected STFs.
Title: Amicus Apparatus
Faction: FED
Level: 50+
ID: HQ4XBYR3X
Mission Summary:
In a time where resources are devoted toward the pursuits of a fragile balance amongst the farthest of reaches into the Delta Quadrant, the Federation?s segue to the stars become subject to an unknown threat. Entire starships have gone missing but while disappearances become more frequent, your steady service record has risen into consideration to meet the unknown power at work.
A weighted mystery hangs upon your shoulders as you have been tasked to rendezvous with a cutting-edge vessel which holds a looking glass into the phenomenon. You must utilize the helping hand of the Romulan Republic to reach out to the unknown and hope to grasp onto the return of countless missing officers.
You will face the faceless; track the impossible and collide with the perils of the universe. You must return.. alive.
Updates: Was able to catch some dialogue-bug clipping which rendered info up to 100 chars. All back in place.
Mission Title: The Devil's Playground ST-HE4GS98P8
by: @confedinblue
Faction: Federation
Minimum Level: 41+
Forum link: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?p=15108221#post15108221
I estimate taking about an hour to an hour fifteen minutes to complete.
I chose to locate this in the Noro System, the same location as "The Longing". Though you don't need to know anything about "The Longing", this takes place significantly after that Foundry mission. In "The Longing", the planet ended in Borg possession. By my mission, however, the Borg has lost interest in the system, leaving behind only remnants and a token patrol. A Federation research team has posted a station there to monitor the Borg withdrawal. That station has gone silent, and you are to investigate.
Thank you.
You, wildkazoo, kortaag, and confedinblue are now tenth through thirteenth on the queue. I really need to start blocking out time on the weekends for this.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Here is the link to my foundry thread.
I would like to add Scars of the pride, part 1 and Scars of the pride Pt 2:The Claw to your list. They are part of a series which continues the story you will read in perfection.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Map "Malcor III":
Good job duplicating the Malcorian face from TNG: "First Contact".
Nice trick with clipping the ambassador's shuttle just inside the planet.
You're having a lot of issues with weird capitalization. For example, convo with Cdr. Alrin Kaleth at the space station:
-- Player responses to "A terrorist group known as "The Center" ...":
--- "I thought The Malcorian people were United?" -> "I thought the Malcorian people were united."
--- "How Would they get access to shuttles?" -> "How would they..."
-- Kaleth: "We are, for the most part. ... center of the Universe, and they see the Garth mission as Heresy." -> "...center of the universe, and they see the Garth mission as heresy."
Map "Warp Ship Durken":
Sky castle, nice. I've never had the patience to make those so it's always impressive to see them done well.
The Enterprise-D trophy is floating a little ways up from its stand. Might want to lower the y-coordinate by maybe 0.1.
Convo with the chancellor and Adm. Flores:
-- Oh, so she's that Flores. Nice way to get around the EULA -- people's faces change quite a bit from 9 to 50-something.
Convo with Crilith Anel and Nasin Krola:
-- Anel: "Oh yeah... Do you think I'm Sciencey?" -> "... think I'm sciencey?"
-- Krola: "Perhaps, but that has always been the slogan of conquerors" -> "... of conquerors."
Convo with Kannis Nilrem and Isrin Dalek:
-- Nilrem: "Isrin, I still need you to come in... No Exceptions." -> "... No exceptions."
-- Dalek: "Can't you move me to the back ... The Deuterium injectors ..." -> "... The deuterium injectors..."
Convo with chancellor and admiral:
-- "Executive officer in charge of radishes"? Interesting reference to use for a noodle incident. I had to look that one up.
Convo with in mess hall with Taylan Messick and Idris Onel:
-- Onel: "No Reason..." -> "No reason..."
You know what? I'm giving up on the capitalization issues because it's midnight and I'm tired.
Convo with boffs at bomb:
-- Science: "It appears to be an organic explosive. ... very similar to an alchohol dehydrogenase... using alchohol. Real alchohol... -> "... very similar to an alcohol ... using alcohol. Real alcohol..."
Objectives: Could you not have attached the "get command code from Isrin Dalek" to a Talk to NPC objective on Isrin Dalek instead of using a map popup tied to an object activation?
You're misusing the term "bulkhead". A bulkhead is a wall, not a door. You're thinking of something like a blast door.
Overheard convo at second blast door:
-- Center Commander: "Chancellor Kalem Jonel, your sacred ... "Instead you allow Aliens to Violate it's sanctity." -> "... allow aliens to violate its sanctity."
-- Jonel: "If you're just going to murder me in a musty cave. I'd just assume you go ahead and do it now..." -> Something like, "You're just going to murder me in a musty cave. I'd prefer you to go ahead and do it now...
Convo after rescuing Jonel:
-- Player response to "Very well, but...": "... And beam the unconcscious Commandos to the Brig" -> "... And beam the unconscious commandos to the brig."
-- Kaleth: "Of course, sir" -> "Of course, sir."
Convo with Crilith Anel on bed:
-- Objectives: Since you're using objectives in parallel rather than multiples of the same type (i.e. help 1/4 colonists, help 2/4 colonists, etc.), could you not have designed hers as a "talk to NPC" objective?
-- This whole conversation is made of funny. I especially like the part where my tac boff goes, "Right now, I think the phrase "Beer Goggles" is more appropriate." LOL. Tess Phohl always was a deadpan snarker.
Ran into a weird bug. NPC named Andel Kurth Guardsman Third Class was jumping straight up into the air and moving slowly forward. I'd check into his settings, although it may not be your fault.
Convo with away team tac after talking to all witnesses:
-- Tactical: "We should report our findings to Commander Kaleth" -> "... Commander Kaleth."
Activation point for "Find the Evidence" is difficult to locate. As in, I had to place myself in a specific position to be able to activate the object. Might want to adjust the positioning of whatever object you used for the objective.
Good job forcing an away-team-on-one fight with the Center mole.
Convo with Kaleth after fighting the Center mole:
-- Kaleth: "If I've learned anything today, it's that I can't rule out the unexpected" -> "... the unexpected."
-- Player response to "You've convinced me...": "I Won't let anything happen to them" -> "I won't let anything happen to them."
-- Kaleth:
--- "It is settled then. The Navigation Trials will take place..." -> "The navigation trials will take place..."
--- Player response: "You won't regret it Commander" -> "You won't regret it, Commander."
Map "Malcor VII":
Pretty map. I like the interplay of colors with the nebula and the gas giant.
Activatable satellite is unlabeled. Consider changing its name to something other than "Satellite - Federation S 02".
Convo with sci boff upon scanning western asteroid:
-- Science: "This Asteroid contains ..." -> "This asteroid contains..."
Convo with sci boff at anomaly:
-- Side comment, via Eleya RP: *Eleya dope-slaps her science officer.* "Why is it always 'quantum singularity'? Why can't you people just say 'black hole' like the rest of us?"
-- That said, it's a surprisingly accurate use of a black hole. One that size won't perturb orbits much, and I think I read somewhere that scientists think microsingularities like that pass through the Sol System with some frequency without affecting anything.
Convo with Durken:
-- Jakara: "Thank Captain [LastName], ... try the excercise one last time." -> "Thank you, Captain [LastName], ... try the exercise one last time."
Map of Garth System (didn't catch the name):
No serious problems with this map. Pretty colors and a cool fight, although you may want to trigger the USS Bozeman to despawn and spawn an NPC contact to replace it: the Borg cube took the Bozeman with it when the core blew.
Map "Warp Ship Durken":
Convo with tac boff after scanning devices:
-- Tactical: "Captain, we're fighting a loosing battle." -> "Captain, we're fighting a losing battle."
Convo after fight with assimilated captain:
-- Captain Peers: "We're trying Captain [LastName] ... My Cheif Engineer has an idea..." -> "My Chief Engineer has an idea..."
Impressive triggerwork building the gradual assimilation of the ship.
Overall Score: 4.5/5. 50 dil tip.
Pros: Good triggerwork, excellent skycastle maps, and the dialog was well written.
Cons: Typos. In addition to the ones I noted above, there were a lot of missing periods and commas. There were also some ... odd choices for how to handle some of the objectives. Still, a little spit and polish and I'd consider this spotlight-worthy. Definitely on my must-play list.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
At the time I didn't have a thread for it. I've added one now and updated my original request post.
The forum thread for "The Devil's Playground" is here: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?p=15108221#post15108221.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
KDF missions up to level 30-ish are now available.
StarSword-C's Detailed Review of "Contact Squared Part 2" by @eldil, Stardate 91831.99.
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Mission opening dialog was brilliant. Nice way to do a "Previously On" in TV style. But you're still making a lot of capitalization mistakes.
Map "Bozeman Bridge":
Convo with Cdr. T'reen:
-- Player response to "Doctor Kr'vol has considerable experience...": "What about my Ship?" -> "What about my ship?"
Side comment: Lt. Kl'nkik's speech reminds me of Slan speech in the Star Carrier books.
Just noticed you stuck a Borg portal out the window. Nice little detail for continuity.
BUG! I encountered a game-breaking bug on my first attempt to complete this map. A non-opening door blocked my way into the ready room on the bridge. I beamed out, dropped, and restarted the mission and it was fixed, but you need to look into that.
Convo with Capt. Peers:
-- Peers: "Captain, I've studied your mision with the Malcorians." -> "... studied your mission with the Malcorians."
Eleya RP: "Damn it. I swore after I got finished with that Guardian of Forever mess that I was through with time travel."
More good triggering for constructing ship assimilation.
Map "Bozeman Shuttle Bay":
Fights were a little rough, but not too bad. Good balance.
Convo after scanning Borg thingy (technical term, lol) in shuttle bay:
-- Science: "The problem is, this is only... It may not have a message attatched, but..." -> "... a message attached, but..."
Convo at runabout:
-- Engineer: "The System will Lock if the Luancher Control is directly accessed." -> "The system will lock if the launcher control is directly accessed."
-- Interesting dialog puzzle.
Convo in cargo bay:
-- I just noticed, but the earlobes of the Cardassian Bozeman crew member (Enil Krissett) aren't attached to her face. You may want to adjust her cheeks, though it could be Cryptic's fault.
-- LCDR. Tava Narak: "Yes' but if this is going to work..." -> "Yes, but..." Also, the title bar has "lieutenant" spelled with two 'n's.
-- Narak: "Even if I hadn't locked out all command functions; setting this up remotely..." -> functions, setting this up..." Player response is also missing a period on the end.
-- Are you a Stargate SG-1 fan by any chance? Because when Lieutenant Enil Krissett said, "Today isn't good for me... Maybe a week from next Monday?" I immediately flashed on this line from "Lost City" when Anubis is said to be coming to attack Earth in three days:
Map "Bozeman Engineering":
Good work repurposing the "decrepit ship" map (I forget the name but I've used it) for the partially assimilated lower deck. The colors really work.
Convo in engine room:
-- Lt. Kl'nkik: "Lieutenant" is spelled with two 'n's again. Also, "The extrapolation algorythm is ready" -> "The extrapolation algorithm is ready."
Convo at computer (dialog puzzle):
-- Engineer: "Captain, we're going to need to reroute power... the surge supressors will reset the Power System." -> "... the surge suppressors will reset the power system."
-- Engineer: "We could use Power taps from other systems..." is missing a period on the end of the dialog. As is the dialog that comes after it.
Convo after puzzle:
-- Cdr. T'reen: "By all means, Lieutennant: Make it So." -> "By all means, Lieutenant. Make it so."
Convo after fighting Borg:
-- Cdr. T'reen: "In our time period... Lieutennant, put them through." -> "Lieutenant, put them through."
Convo after fighting next group of Borg:
-- Cdr. T'reen: "Then we must endevor to lower them." -> "Then we must endeavor to lower them."
-- Cdr. T'reen: "And what is the 'Bad News'" -> "And what is the bad news?"
-- LCDR. Narak: "In order to push out enough power, we'll have to dis-engage the safties." -> "In order to push out enough power, we'll have to disengage the safeties."
-- LCDR. Narak: "Captain [Lastname], work on disengaging the saftey systems." -> "... disengaging the safety systems."
Convo at engineering console:
-- Console: "External radiation monitor... External radiation levels reache 500 milisieverts" -> "External radiation levels reach 500 millisieverts"
---- Also, kudos are in order. "Scale of the universe" issues are a bit of a berserk button for me, but I checked your numbers with Wolfram Alpha and they make good sense.
Convo after boosting coolant:
-- Cdr. T'reen: "Lieutennant Commander, Now is not the time." -> "Lieutenant Commander, now is not the time." Alternatively, here you could just shorten it to "Commander".
-- LCDR. Narak: "That is, until one brilliant Malcorian... a shadow of it's former self." -> "... a shadow of its former self."
-- Eleya RP: "Oh, Prophets, not another phekk'ta temporal paradox." *headdesks on the console*
-- LCDR. Narak: "Coolant leaks! ... Increase to 250% before we loose the secondary conduits!" -> "... before we lose the secondary conduits!"
Convo after explosion:
-- Player response to LCDR. Narak: "I'm Sorry Lieutennant, but we can't..." -> "I'm sorry, Commander, but we can't..." The correct shortened forms of address for lieutenant commanders or lieutenant colonels are "commander" and "colonel" respectively, not "lieutenant".
Wow. That I did not see coming.
Map "Bozeman Engineering" II:
Excellent map redress! It's almost unrecognizable!
Convo at map start:
-- LCDR. Narak: "I'm sorry Captain, but there wasn't time." -> "I'm sorry, Captain, but there wasn't time."
-- Borg Collective: "Secondary Adjunct of Unimatrix... four-seven for aditional adaptations." -> "... four-seven for additional adaptations."
Convo after assimilating the warp core:
-- The "are you flirting with me?" exchange between Cdr. Stennis and SCDR. St'von made me chuckle.
Map "Garth System":
Convo at map start:
-- Player response to first dialog: "I'm honored that she thinks so highly of us, but what happened to: Limiting contact with this time period" -> "... what happened to "limiting contact with this time period"?"
Objectives: "Defeat Persuing ships" -> "Defeat pursuing ships" or "Defeat Pursuing Ships"
You need to put a blinker object where the activation point for the conduit is. I actually tried to straight-line bullrush past the fleet but I couldn't find the activator.
Map "Warp Ship Durken":
*headdesk* See, this is why I despise time travel plots. Seriously? Using the time travel reset button gag? (Granted, I kinda figured that was where this was going.)
Map "Garth System" post-USS Reset Button:
End mission dialog:
-- "The End ... Contact Squared: Tribulnal." -> "Contact Squared: Tribunal"
Overall Score: 4/5. 50 dil tip.
Pros: Good triggerwork, some good logic puzzles, and the dialog was well written. Definitely on my must-play list.
Cons: A lot of typos (particularly the frequent extra 'n' in lieutenant). In addition to the ones I noted above, there were a lot of missing periods and commas and capitalization issues. And the time travel gave me a headache.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
A Routine Mission
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HA6JIBXJD
Faction: Federation
Level: Any
Length: 20 - 35 minutes.
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Exploration.
Description:
Memory Alpha has been detecting some unusual readings from a nebula located somewhere in the Delta Volanis Cluster. They have requested a Starfleet vessel to investigate, and Stafleet has chosen you.
From the outset, this seems like a routine, single-ship mission. A nice break from the constant struggles that currently plague the Federation. That is, until you begin unlocking the nebula's secrets...
Edit-
Forgot to add this: Link to forum thread.
Edit 2: I see you already found it
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
I'd like to request a review of A Personal Favour (ST-HAOH6LCA6) and/or Lonesome Heart (ST-HGM9WKQKU), please! Both are Federation level 31+ missions. I am @nikkojt in-game, and there is a forum thread here.
Thanks!
There used to be a picture here, but they changed signatures and I can't be bothered to replace it.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Woot!
Oh, nice! I love that series!
___________________________________
The Unsung Mission
- Artifacts -
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HNHDXH7MU
Faction: Federation
Level: 41+
Length: 30 - 60 minutes.
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Space Combat, - Bonus Objectives.
Description:
Once again the Federation finds itself under the looming spectre of yet another Borg invasion. Since problems almost never come alone, a situation has arisen that requires your special attention:
An unusual artifact was discovered in a planetoid system near the Breshar System by the U.S.S. Audentia, commanded by Admiral Atalanta. It has been some time since Starfleet's last communication with the Audentia and there are reports of increasing pirate activity near that system. You are therefore requested by Admiral Gautier to investigate.
___________________________________
The Unsung Mission
- Escalation -
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HQTGG3SXM
Faction: Federation
Level: 41+
Length: 40 - 75 minutes (longer when exploring).
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Space and Ground Combat, - Bonus Objectives, - Exploration.
Description:
A dangerous particle, a Section 31 agent in possession of one, and a conduit that is the catalyst to it all. All of which is happening under the shadow of an impending Borg invasion.
The investigation of three ship wreckages is your only bid to find anything that can help you hunt down the Section 31 agent before he unleashes whatever he is planning.
Be forewarned, there are others taking part in the hunt...
___________________________________
The Unsung Mission
- Maelstrom -
Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HST5R3A34
Faction: Federation
Level: 41+
Length: 30-60 minutes long
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Large Scale Space and Ground Battles, - Bonus Objectives.
Description:
In the midst of a Borg invasion, chaos erupts in the Badlands as a task force from multiple factions clash for control over the conduit.
In the midst of this chaos, you must infiltrate the rogue Section 31 agent's base of operations in order to stop him, or anyone else from unleashing a plan of insanity, and you do not have much time.
Before that, however, you must deal with an impromptu situation courtesy of a sabotuer...
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Good mission description. Fan sequels to Cryptic missions are frequently interesting to me.
Mission acceptance dialog has an extraneous partial tag. There's an "/OOC]" on the end of it.
Map "U.S.S. Lion's Pride Bridge":
Map could be a little livelier but I'll let that slide.
Convo with VADM. M'Sarabi:
-- M'Sarabi: "Ah good, then you know dangerous this energy substance is." "Energy substance"? Oxymoron much?
-- I'm also seeing a grammatical issue I've harped about before. A lot of dialog options are missing periods on the end.
Map "Unknown System":
I loled at the first dialog option in the opening dialog.
Map is completely superfluous and could easily be removed without affecting mission flow. Alternatively, let us actually fight the Borg instead of alluding to some presumably epic but conveniently off-screen battle. It's not like this is happening on a TV show where you have an FX budget that needs conserving.
Map "Borg Tactical Cube Section #214":
Objectives:
-- First reach marker, tied to "Continue onward" objective, seems to be positioned wrong vertically or is glitched. I managed to walk past it without triggering it.
Convo after destroying assimilated Gorn:
-- First dialog window seems to be calling my shipboard tac instead of my away team tac.
Looks like Voporak broke the timeline again. Or perhaps the timeline broke him this time.
Map "Borg Tactical Cube Section #777":
Interesting atmospherics in this section.
Convo with Donatra:
-- I'm a little iffy on the Donatra rendition. I think you could get closer to the in-game version.
-- Tac boff face call came from my ship instead of my away team again.
Map "Unknown System, Borg Ambush":
Good map arrangement and the fights were fun.
Map "Outpost 77 Under Fire":
All right combat, if somewhat short. Map looks good.
Map "Earth Under Fire":
Map comments:
-- Last time I looked the space around Earth was black and starry, not green and cloudy.
-- Got a couple of unnamed Fed mobs here. You named every other Fed ship and a lot of the Borg; why not them?
-- Continuity error. Last time I looked the USS Kirk, i.e. Miral Paris' ship, was an Exeter-class, not a Stargazer-class.
Map "Earth Space Dock Under Attack":
Good map construction. Good feel of "partially assimilated but still in progress.
Did you know you could shoot through the windows of Club 47? Because I sure didn't. Not complaining though; meant I didn't have to deal with the chokepoint at the door.
Boss fight was nuts. Had to respawn twice, and WTF was that Ka-cha-thump noise I kept hearing followed by me getting knocked around?
Map "Escaping the Armada.":
Admiral Quinn facsimile could use a little work.
Map "Warp":
Map could've been rolled into the previous one with the despawn-system-and-go-to-warp trick, especially if you were to turn the sky on the previous map black to make it look more like the real Sol.
Overall Score: 3.5/5.
Pros: Crazy combat (bring refrequencers and use liberally) and generally good map design. Dialog improves later in the mission.
Cons: Second and final maps serve little purpose and should be removed or altered. Ratio of combat to story is a bit higher than I generally like. Dialog feels flat initially, though it improves.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
I do not see how the unknown system map is superfluous. It would be weird to beam from a person's bridge straight to a Borg cube.
I will address the grammatical errors, thank you. I will also double-check the tactical officer dialogue. Since I don't have the specs for the actual Donatra NPC I made it as close as possible. I haven't found any Admiral Quinn specs to make him better. The reason the place is all green and cloud is because of the Borg assimilation.
Thank you for playing. Part 1 was my first mission so it still has some big rookie errors. I will address these. Part 2 is much better in quality so you should enjoy it
A few notes.
I think why you thought map 2 was superfluous was because the npcs killed the Borg before you even saw them in front of you. I reduced their numbers to make sure the player gets into the action.
The waypoint on section 214 will not work if you stand in the area when it first spawns. You have to move out of it an back in. Cryptic design.
On the boss battle on ESD, That is a knockback power a Borg drone has. It's the same power the Borg will use on you in the hard power plant Hard mode.
Thank you for helping with improving this mission
I'd like to throw my two parts into the heap, if you don't mind!
They're parts one and two of my series I'm making, A Quiet Rebellion.
Hope you enjoy them!
---
Mission Name: A Message From Nowhere
Author: SerpentineOne
Project ID: ST-HF862NNJ5
Faction: Federation
Starting Point: Wall panel in front of Transporter room on Earth Space Dock.
Level Requirement: Can be played from Level 1.
Runtime: About 30 minutes.
Mission Summary:
Starfleet Intelligence has received a message from a location inside of Klingon space. It was heavily encrypted, but with no known origin.
What does it mean? How important is it? And who could have sent it?
Starfleet needs to send someone to find out.
Thread Link: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=1054241
---
Mission Name: The Wraith
Author: SerpentineOne
Project ID: ST-HPG7B5XK9
Faction: Federation
Starting Point: Wall panel in front of Transporter room on Earth Space Dock.
Level Requirement: Any Level
Runtime: Around an hour.
Mission Summary:
With the encrypted data packet decoded, Starfleet Intelligence has given orders to head for a location contained within.
The destination? The territory of a shadowy mercenary warlord named The Wraith.
Only he has the information they need.
Thread Link: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=1077691
Mission: The Wings of Omicros
Mission ID: ST-HNST6WXJK
Author: @darkfirewithin
Current Version: v1.1
Faction: Federation
Level restriction: 16+
Starting Point: The wall panel in front of the ESD Transporter Room.
Duration: Approx. 30 minutes
Combat: Ground and Space
Summary: With the Solanae Dyson Sphere and Iconian gateway in Tau Dewa now active, several Delta Quadrant species have started to engage with the Federation, the KDF and the Romulan Republic. One particular race, the Omicronians, wish to become members of the Federation. It is your duty to oversee the negotiations and ensure they run smoothly, as there are hostile forces moving against the integration of the Omicronians joining the Federation.
Link: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=1063831
That would do it, especially since I have a tendency to hop over to other windows because Foundry map loading times are longer than usual. The map must've loaded when I wasn't paying attention and the friendly NPCs took out all the Borg for me.
I tend to balance big fleet engagements so that the player and allies are outnumbered. A decent player, even an under-geared one, tends to be worth at least one or two battleship mobs if not more.
And here we go with part II.
StarSword-C's Detailed Review of "Perfection, Part 2" by @ashkrik23, Stardate 91921.81.
I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.
Mission description and acceptance dialog are both very well-done.
Map "The U.S.S. Simba":
Nicely busy map.
NPC chatter:
-- Gorn Trooper: "What honor do we have if we allow our citizens to be slayd by machines?" -> "... slain by machines?"
Mission briefing:
-- Side comment, not directed at you: I really wish Cryptic would give us the damn Romulan Republic uniforms already. I mean, I just got given a mission briefing by a friggin' Tal Shiar because it was all you had. Sheesh!
Map "The U.S.S. Simba":
Pretty space map but I forgot to switch to the Bajor from the Andraste this time so my feel for the space fighting is skewed (my Avenger eats Borg for a light snack and Voth as the main course, lol). No comment.
Yep, I was right. The timeline broke Voporak this time.
Map "Cait System":
Again, top-notch space visuals. No apparent issues with the map.
Map "Cait":
Not familiar with this map. And I've certainly never seen that assimilated giant mushroom before. What's the point of that, I wonder?
Convo after scanning second doohickey:
-- Engi boff: "Before the tricorders stopped working, I detected a Pyramid structure off in the distance." -> "... a pyramid structure ..."
Crazy ground battle but more enjoyable than the last one.
Map "The Research Facility":
Again, nicely done ground map with good application of Borg bits.
Crazy frakking boss battle, but still fun. And a good, classic Trek moral choice at the end: One life or trillions?
Map "Cait System, Fate of the Galaxy":
Mostly fighting, but good to see the carry-over of the moral choice. Although, minor technical thing: Would it have been possible to use a trigger to carry the choice from the first dialog featuring it to the second? (Serious question; I really don't know.)
Map "The U.S.S. Simba Bridge":
Not much to say here, just the epilogue.
Overall Score: 4.5/5. Would have tipped but reviews are down.
Pros: Hafta say I liked part 2 better than part one. Not much in the way of triggerwork but the dialog was well-done, the maps were pretty, and the moral choice on the second Borg Base map was a Star Trek classic.
Cons:
Denouement felt a little bit sudden. From the dialogue it felt more like a case of "temporary inconvenience to Federation Alliance" rather than "billions dead all over both quadrants" as I would have expected from the scenario.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Huh. My current project has basically the same starting premise, although I'm going in a vastly different direction.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/