I've read the Path to 2409, but unless I'm missing something, the information on Cardassian space stops before the turn of the 25th century.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
@burstdragon323 - It's always a bummer to read a ship was lost in combat, yet that is the way of war. The names of the ships really grabbed me. So, the missing ships are not really missing I presume?
@bombadier22 - 17 ... years?! Man, that's a loooong time and plenty of room to keep coming back to the LCs to tell us what happened during that time [wink, wink, nudge, nudge].
@dakaton - Ah, revenge. Besides being a dish best served cold, is a spring-board for more adventures seeking retribution! Welcome to the LC
@swat842012 - 150K Borg cubes?! Welcome to the LCs, but I hope the crew was smart and bolted out of that hot mess. I'm curious how the end of the entry was *very* similar to bombadier22 ...
@maverickdude05 - A clean Captain's Log. Not every battle has casualties, but when they do, it can hurt I suppose. What class is the USS Aquarius anyway?
@captaintk17 - Let me say this: I am starting to despise the True Way and Galors in particular. They are too nimble for their own good ... but the Solaris proudly uses Spiral Wave Disruptors. I like reading entries using the Badlands or Briar Patch as I find these areas of ST lore still mysterious.
@sharpie65 - Salamanca ... did you play City of Heroes by chance? And I'm curious, is there only ever one Borg Queen at a time? I have not played the Borg storylines yet ...
@dariuslorrelei - Welcome to the LCs! Naming conventions has always been in the corner of my mind when it comes to writing fiction. My character names rarely "feel right", but when I read everyone else's ... somehow they just do!
@masopw - The first non-Log - very strong emotions displayed and well-told. I was glued to the character's plight from the space to ground. It's stories like that that make me glad not to have to make that kind of decision.
@rextorvan36 - Very nice piece. If I may offer some advice: when Torvan meets Aguchi, Aguchi first says Torvan failed, then says he does not know the word. I get the meaning of the exchange but it *really* stood out to me.
@wraithshadow13 - The space combat was very well-written and I could "see" it happen clearly. Good ideas all over this piece!
@jonsills - No Grunt?! :P Your counselor scenes always fascinate me because the conversations are excellent exchanges between characters.
@shevet - Dagnabit, yet another brilliant entry. What was your inspiration this round (besides the topic itself)?
@aten66 - Gotta fix that coding for Kirk's quote but otherwise a solid piece. What's the song by the way?
@arxeblu - Welcome to the LCs and a great addition to the others this round! The sadness is palpable although I strongly doubt Admiral T'Vir will agree to the proposal. BUT, in a future LC maybe we'll see if I'm wrong?
@csrr12905 - You know, the idea of a Risian corvette as a scout ship makes a lot of sense! Now if only the Federation could make one that wasn't so ... fluid ... is the only word I can come up with. Anyway, welcome to the LCs and come back to tell more about VA Kendrick!
More later!
I am still finishing my out-of-cycle story about Hillel trying to reclaim his position, so LC 48 isn't started. I'm tempted to write something titled "X, or Teaching Algebra During Interstellar War." Writing an after-action report doesn't sound all that exciting.
As usual, I'm reading entries out of order.
@ burstdragon323 - is Excelsior the ship that sent the distress signal? That wasn't clear.
@ arxeblu - that was an interesting approach. It makes me wonder what kind of husband would write this though - going to his wife's commanding officer and saying "she thinks she's unfit for duty" is a great way to kill a career and cause marital strife. Wouldn't seeking a counselor be a safer approach?
Also, this sentence is confusing: "As much as it is not logical to sacrifice so able an officer to unneeded secrecy, as deadhearted is it to leave the human behind that officer in such a state."
Side note - I named one of my fictional runabouts Pauling (after Linus Pauling).
I'm back folks Sorry I've missed the past couple of entries, as I've been really busy with work and getting everything ready for my second year of college. Anyways, this entry focused in a little more on the Athena's chief medical officer and her relationships, as opposed to my usual musings about the latest trouble Starfleet's youngest Admiral gets himself into. Let me know what you guys think
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
I'm back folks :-D Sorry I've missed the past couple of entries, as I've been really busy with work and getting everything ready for my second year of college. Anyways, this entry focused in a little more on the Athena's chief medical officer and her relationships, as opposed to my usual musings about the latest trouble Starfleet's youngest Admiral gets himself into. Let me know what you guys think :-D
Very nice.
I especially liked the ending (I can't help it, I'm a bit of a romantic).
I'm back folks Sorry I've missed the past couple of entries, as I've been really busy with work and getting everything ready for my second year of college. Anyways, this entry focused in a little more on the Athena's chief medical officer and her relationships, as opposed to my usual musings about the latest trouble Starfleet's youngest Admiral gets himself into. Let me know what you guys think
Welcome back, and very nice entry :cool: When Ibalei said they didn't know the damage to the system, I was worried that Athena's program might've been scrambled, so was glad to see her functional
Welcome back, and very nice entry. When Ibalei said they didn't know the damage to the system, I was worried that Athena's program might've been scrambled, so was glad to see her functional
Thank you I'll be writing more about the exact technology that goes into Athena's program once I've got it all nailed down. Once that's done, the tech will help elaborate on why she is resistant to damage.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Thank you :-D I'll be writing more about the exact technology that goes into Athena's program once I've got it all nailed down. Once that's done, the tech will help elaborate on why she is resistant to damage. :-)
I'll certainly look forward to it :cool: In my writing, Claire literally is the operating system, an upgrade in the software from the LCARS library computer access retrieval system, to the computer library access information retrieval engram... She simply chose to use the anagram as her name, where Athena may have chosen to identify more directly to the ship itself, as she was the prototype At some point, the photonic assault information gathering engram Marcus worked with on Romulus (and other intelligence missions) may make a re-appearance...
@shevet - Dagnabit, yet another brilliant entry. What was your inspiration this round (besides the topic itself)?
If you really want to know - creating a new character at the same time as getting the "Enterprise" bundle. "Why would someone in the 25th century be wearing a 22nd century uniform, anyway?" I wondered, idly, to myself. And then I said, "Well, maybe they actually come from the 22nd century... hey, it's Star Trek, there are temporal anomalies and stuff all over the place...." And there it was, the germ of an idea.
My entry for this round is a preview of an epilogue to "The Road to Ruin". I'm still a few days away from wrapping that up, but what I've got so far ties in well with the theme for this LC.
If you've been following The Road, keep an eye out for the full epilogue to drop sometime between tomorrow and Wednesday.
And now, let's see what everyone else has been up to...
@burstdragon323 - an interesting story, reporting on the loss of a fellow commanding officer. I like the way you set this up as a personal message rather than as an official After-Action Report, but that being the case I think you missed an opportunity to relay more of Zolaria's personal feelings. Good little entry though, anyway.
@bombardier22 - whoa! That was a great little piece. Way to leave us hanging!
@dakoton - great short story, and welcome to the LCs! I liked the imagery you used of the enemy attacking Ryan's ship, but I think it could use some rewording. Instead of "...weapons ripped through my brother's ship like a tree in a relentless storm" consider weapons ripped through my brother's ship like the relentless winds of a storm through a tree." e.g., the weapons are the storm, Ryan's ship is the tree. The way you have it worded doesn't quite make that clear. Excellent work though, otherwise!
@swat842012 - most intriguing. Similar to bombardier's entry, but more personal. I'd suggest punctuation, and decide whether your writing from 1st person or 3rd. (You start off in 3rd person and finish in 1st person.)
@maverickdude05 - another really good piece! I really loved the way you seemed to take this out of the game, from one of those uncharted cluster exploration missions. And dealing with one of those decisions of command - abandoning your men on the surface to save the ship, in this case - is never easy, especially when it results in tragedy.
@captaintk17 - very nice first entry. I'm interested to hear a little more about that "handful of crew" you lost.
@dariuslorelei - great story, but you've made it a little tough to read with your font choice and the italics. Also, if you haven't noticed, copying from MS Word or another word-processor program causes some punctuation marks (all your apostrophes, in this case) to turn into '?'s when pasted on the forum. You either need before or after posting, or do your typing in a plain-text writing program like Notepad. (You can then copy to MS Word for spellchecking, and copy-paste to the forums with no trouble.) But good entry, otherwise!
@masopw - awesome, brah. Really rad piece right there. You did a brilliant job crafting the tension there in the first scene, and then the way you dealt with the aftermath was just sublime. Have I already mentioned to you a couple of times how much I freaking love Sotek?
@crimpson7 - nice story, interesting development there with the Undine vs. Iconians angle. But please consider using paragraph breaks to help get away the "wall o' text" effect - it would go a long way to improve readability.
@jonnaroslyn - great entry. I really liked the way that you gave almost no information about what happened or how, and just focused on the Why. Excellent bit of writing.
@icegavel - very fine piece of work. A few typos slipped through your spellchecker - "clock" instead of "cloak" as an amusing example. But I definitely enjoyed reading about this "easy" task that turned out to be anything but...
@rextorvan - you'd think by now we'd have learned to stay out of the Badlands. Bad things just seem to happen there, for whatever reason. Good story - nice to see Aguchi get what was clearly coming to him.
@wraithshadow13 - ah, at last, the origin story. If I may suggest a few minor edits: in the beginning of the story you say the Gorn cruiser is "following" the Geist without any indications of hostile intent. I was unsure for a minute who's side it was supposed to be on. Unless that's your intention, consider saying "pursuing" instead. And then [*Spoiler Alert*] when the Denning is destroyed, you go from its shields being bombarded straight to the escape pods being shot down. I think a bit more description of kinetic disassembly is called for. Great story, otherwise!
@jonsills - very cool introduction to Mr. Burwell. Short gripe about the timeline, though: You say Iain and the Icarus was pulled out of 2168. The Earth-Romulan War ended in 2160, and the UFP was founded the following year in 2161. Perhaps you should rewind a decade or so. Otherwise, as I said a very cool story.
@shevat - Another "Out of time" entry? Coincidence? Anyway, great stuff, as usual. Terrific new character. I think I'm gonna love Ronnie Grau. "Your mother was a handbag!" got me to LOL.
@aeten66 - loved the use of the ENT theme song in this one. Very nice entry.
@arxeblu - a most unusual perspective, and a highly effective way of highlighting the emotional toll and how far it extends beyond the frontlines.
@csrr12905 - good story, and interesting characters. A couple of details threw me though - "molten" Romulan ale? It's already liquid, isn't it? And you've misspelled Ferasan and Ferasa. But otherwise a solid entry.
@ironphoenix113 - a touching story. It would be interesting to see this pair develop further. They say you never want a family member to be your doctor, and this story highlights a good reason why. Of course, with a ship the size of an Odyssey-class, you should have multiple doctors who can (hopefully) overrule the CMO if McKenzie's life is ever threatened again.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@jonsills - very cool introduction to Mr. Burwell. Short gripe about the timeline, though: You say Iain and the Icarus was pulled out of 2168. The Earth-Romulan War ended in 2160, and the UFP was founded the following year in 2161. Perhaps you should rewind a decade or so. Otherwise, as I said a very cool story.
Dammit, all that effort and research I went through to make sure I picked a likely star out the right direction (Gamma Trianguli is indeed an A-type star 113 lightyears out, one which spins so rapidly it deforms into an oblate spheroid, surrounded by a cloud of rocky debris), and I make a typo on the year. And you were the first one to catch that typo, or at least the first one to realize I had my fingers off by a bit. Thanks, and it's been fixed now.
FWIW, shortly after graduating from the accelerated program in two years, Ensign Burwell will find himself reliving that horrible day, when he becomes the senior surviving officer of the Miranda-class USS Clark at the Battle of Vega...
My entry for this round is a preview of an epilogue to "The Road to Ruin". I'm still a few days away from wrapping that up, but what I've got so far ties in well with the theme for this LC.
If you've been following The Road, keep an eye out for the full epilogue to drop sometime between tomorrow and Wednesday.
Awesome piece :cool: I have to admit, I initially found Georgia's accent hard to read through, but she definitely grows on you Have to admit, I did lol about 'the cancer', she definitely sounds like she fell off the turnip truck, but it'll be good to see more of her (and perfect casting too) :cool:
@wraithshadow13 - ah, at last, the origin story. If I may suggest a few minor edits: in the beginning of the story you say the Gorn cruiser is "following" the Geist without any indications of hostile intent. I was unsure for a minute who's side it was supposed to be on. Unless that's your intention, consider saying "pursuing" instead. And then [*Spoiler Alert*] when the Denning is destroyed, you go from its shields being bombarded straight to the escape pods being shot down. I think a bit more description of kinetic disassembly is called for. Great story, otherwise!
Good catch, i made a few small adjustments, hopefully to the positive.
@ arxeblu - that was an interesting approach. It makes me wonder what kind of husband would write this though - going to his wife's commanding officer and saying "she thinks she's unfit for duty" is a great way to kill a career and cause marital strife. Wouldn't seeking a counselor be a safer approach?
Also, this sentence is confusing: "As much as it is not logical to sacrifice so able an officer to unneeded secrecy, as deadhearted is it to leave the human behind that officer in such a state."
Side note - I named one of my fictional runabouts Pauling (after Linus Pauling).
Michael is truly afraid that the consequences for his wife will be even worse if she goes back into service (which she surely desires eventhough she sees herself unfit for it..)
Though he puts his words a little more polite and constructive Michael obviously does not trust Starfleets Couselors...
The confusing sentence is meant to adress the disparities between the attitude of Michael and the Admiral.
T'vir is supposed to be a Vulcan and Michael suspects him to have just two things on his mind: Logic and the "functionality" of his officers. Michael puts that in contrast to his much more emotional view of his wife as a person.
Though he says otherwise, Michael is not a big fan of Starfleet. He makes a clear division between his wife in private and her role as a Starfleet Officer.
His motives may perhaps not be as noble as they seem to be in the first place...
As to the Ships name, indeed I thought of Linus Pauling. I very much like the concept of naming Starfleet ships after famous scientists. As Pauling won two Nobel Prizes I think we may as well grant him two ships bearing his name.
@ironphoenix113 - a touching story. It would be interesting to see this pair develop further. They say you never want a family member to be your doctor, and this story highlights a good reason why. Of course, with a ship the size of an Odyssey-class, you should have multiple doctors who can (hopefully) overrule the CMO if McKenzie's life is ever threatened again.
Thank you I will be developing them a little further as I can. As for having multiple medical officers who can take over for Syiseda, it turns out there are some perks to having the biggest ship in Starfleet :cool:
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
@ironphoenix113 - I agree, that was a touching story. Thank you for showing that several months of battle does add up. There were several times I wondered how Voyager didn't end up looking like a battered upside-down bathtub held together by band-aids and saran-wrap.
@sander223 - Man, this is sinister stuff brewing but really well written. I'm curious: do you know the song to use for the story or does a song inspire you? Did anyone else notice the reference to patrickngo
@ironphoenix113 - I agree, that was a touching story. Thank you for showing that several months of battle does add up. There were several times I wondered how Voyager didn't end up looking like a battered upside-down bathtub held together by band-aids and saran-wrap.
No problem It was a fun entry to write. As for the scarring, plot armor can really do wonders, eh? :rolleyes::D
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Dammit, all that effort and research I went through to make sure I picked a likely star out the right direction (Gamma Trianguli is indeed an A-type star 113 lightyears out, one which spins so rapidly it deforms into an oblate spheroid, surrounded by a cloud of rocky debris), and I make a typo on the year. And you were the first one to catch that typo, or at least the first one to realize I had my fingers off by a bit. Thanks, and it's been fixed now...
Like you, I'm a sticker for details, and I often spend an inordinate amount of time researching things that most readers will never notice.
Your description of the star system did lend a great deal of authenticity to your story, even though I had no idea how realistic it really was.
Awesome piece :cool: I have to admit, I initially found Georgia's accent hard to read through, but she definitely grows on you Have to admit, I did lol about 'the cancer', she definitely sounds like she fell off the turnip truck, but it'll be good to see more of her (and perfect casting too)
To translate Southern, just mentally replace any 'h' following a vowel with an 'r' - unless its just an 'ah' or 'ahm'/'ahv' in which case the 'ah' is an 'I'. I've added her to my in-game Bridge Officer roster as a change-up torpedo officer to alternate for Mitiani Zain (I just reversed the order of Torpedo High Yield and Torpedo Spread.) Fanfic-wise, I haven't decided yet if she'll be an alternate shift projectile weapons officer or if she'll replace K'lak in security. I can tell you though, she is much smarter than she sounds.
@sander223 - Man, this is sinister stuff brewing but really well written. I'm curious: do you know the song to use for the story or does a song inspire you?
Little bit of both. Usually the idea for the story comes first, and I scan through my music library looking for a song that will match up with what I want to write about, and then I let the lyrics influence my writing. In this case, the Foo Fighters track was just shuffled into the playlist I listen to while working on The Road, so I had it pretty well in mind and it's theme and lyrics found their way peppered into various parts of the story. I wasn't planning to use it as an intro track, but it's title just happened to intersect perfectly with the LC title and the title of my big story, so I dropped it in and pulled a few scenes out of the epilogue which seemed to fit the song.
Did anyone else notice the reference to patrickngo
I hope he doesn't mind getting blown up. He is a PvPer, after all. :cool:
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
To translate Southern, just mentally replace any 'h' following a vowel with an 'r' - unless its just an 'ah' or 'ahm'/'ahv' in which case the 'ah' is an 'I'. I've added her to my in-game Bridge Officer roster as a change-up torpedo officer to alternate for Mitiani Zain (I just reversed the order of Torpedo High Yield and Torpedo Spread.) Fanfic-wise, I haven't decided yet if she'll be an alternate shift projectile weapons officer or if she'll replace K'lak in security. I can tell you though, she is much smarter than she sounds.
I had a feeling that she might be The more I read, the more she shone through, and as soon as I saw the IMDB photo, I thought "Yes, that's her..."
I did wonder how Miss Zain might react to a 'younger model' entering into Jesu's good graces Just be sure to keep her away from Adam Cornish :eek: (unless Jesu needs the opportunity to enforce some physical discipline )
I had a feeling that she might be The more I read, the more she shone through, and as soon as I saw the IMDB photo, I thought "Yes, that's her..."
I did wonder how Miss Zain might react to a 'younger model' entering into Jesu's good graces Just be sure to keep her away from Adam Cornish :eek: (unless Jesu needs the opportunity to enforce some physical discipline )
I think Zain's learned her lesson about jumping to conclusions but it will definitely be interesting to see them interact. Georgia let slip a racist epithet (Cardies) and while she admires LaRoca's open-mindedness I'm pretty sure she's not so tolerant herself. A lot of ex-Maquis settled on Moab and the whole system was definitely sympathetic to their cause. So that's another source of potential friction. And don't forget H'mL'n in the mix as well.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I think Zain's learned her lesson about jumping to conclusions but it will definitely be interesting to see them interact. Georgia let slip a racist epithet (Cardies) and while she admires LaRoca's open-mindedness I'm pretty sure she's not so tolerant herself. A lot of ex-Maquis settled on Moab and the whole system was definitely sympathetic to their cause. So that's another source of potential friction.
How much of that might be 'learned racism' picked up from the ex-Maquis, rather than outright prejudice? Equally, Cardassians are probably the one species where people are right to be apprehensive of them, when past conduct is examined. Marcus had very little tolerance for them as a people, although on the individual one to one level, he wouldn't've discriminated against someone... Siri's not overly keen on them either, so I think a person's past experiences definitely have to be taken into account before just writing someone off as a bigot. I caught Georgia's fear about being sold into bondage, which didn't seem like the kind of thing I would have associated with Moab, so I wonder if she might have had some bad experiences of predatory types which has made her fearful of them...
Who probably wouldn't think twice about giving a little TRIBBLE a few slaps to keep her in line, as the behaviour of the Empress will show in the upcoming entry
I caught Georgia's fear about being sold into bondage, which didn't seem like the kind of thing I would have associated with Moab, so I wonder if she might have had some bad experiences of predatory types which has made her fearful of them...
Well, that actually comes from a bit of recent history. When patrickngo introduced us to Moab in his story Coolng we see Grantville being attacked by a party of Orion slavers.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Comments
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
@burstdragon323 - It's always a bummer to read a ship was lost in combat, yet that is the way of war. The names of the ships really grabbed me. So, the missing ships are not really missing I presume?
@bombadier22 - 17 ... years?! Man, that's a loooong time and plenty of room to keep coming back to the LCs to tell us what happened during that time [wink, wink, nudge, nudge].
@dakaton - Ah, revenge. Besides being a dish best served cold, is a spring-board for more adventures seeking retribution! Welcome to the LC
@swat842012 - 150K Borg cubes?! Welcome to the LCs, but I hope the crew was smart and bolted out of that hot mess. I'm curious how the end of the entry was *very* similar to bombadier22 ...
@maverickdude05 - A clean Captain's Log. Not every battle has casualties, but when they do, it can hurt I suppose. What class is the USS Aquarius anyway?
@captaintk17 - Let me say this: I am starting to despise the True Way and Galors in particular. They are too nimble for their own good ... but the Solaris proudly uses Spiral Wave Disruptors. I like reading entries using the Badlands or Briar Patch as I find these areas of ST lore still mysterious.
@sharpie65 - Salamanca ... did you play City of Heroes by chance? And I'm curious, is there only ever one Borg Queen at a time? I have not played the Borg storylines yet ...
@dariuslorrelei - Welcome to the LCs! Naming conventions has always been in the corner of my mind when it comes to writing fiction. My character names rarely "feel right", but when I read everyone else's ... somehow they just do!
@masopw - The first non-Log - very strong emotions displayed and well-told. I was glued to the character's plight from the space to ground. It's stories like that that make me glad not to have to make that kind of decision.
@rextorvan36 - Very nice piece. If I may offer some advice: when Torvan meets Aguchi, Aguchi first says Torvan failed, then says he does not know the word. I get the meaning of the exchange but it *really* stood out to me.
@wraithshadow13 - The space combat was very well-written and I could "see" it happen clearly. Good ideas all over this piece!
@jonsills - No Grunt?! :P Your counselor scenes always fascinate me because the conversations are excellent exchanges between characters.
@shevet - Dagnabit, yet another brilliant entry. What was your inspiration this round (besides the topic itself)?
@aten66 - Gotta fix that coding for Kirk's quote but otherwise a solid piece. What's the song by the way?
@arxeblu - Welcome to the LCs and a great addition to the others this round! The sadness is palpable although I strongly doubt Admiral T'Vir will agree to the proposal. BUT, in a future LC maybe we'll see if I'm wrong?
@csrr12905 - You know, the idea of a Risian corvette as a scout ship makes a lot of sense! Now if only the Federation could make one that wasn't so ... fluid ... is the only word I can come up with. Anyway, welcome to the LCs and come back to tell more about VA Kendrick!
More later!
As usual, I'm reading entries out of order.
@ burstdragon323 - is Excelsior the ship that sent the distress signal? That wasn't clear.
@ arxeblu - that was an interesting approach. It makes me wonder what kind of husband would write this though - going to his wife's commanding officer and saying "she thinks she's unfit for duty" is a great way to kill a career and cause marital strife. Wouldn't seeking a counselor be a safer approach?
Also, this sentence is confusing: "As much as it is not logical to sacrifice so able an officer to unneeded secrecy, as deadhearted is it to leave the human behind that officer in such a state."
Side note - I named one of my fictional runabouts Pauling (after Linus Pauling).
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Very nice.
I especially liked the ending (I can't help it, I'm a bit of a romantic).
Thanks!
Thank you
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
I'll certainly look forward to it :cool: In my writing, Claire literally is the operating system, an upgrade in the software from the LCARS library computer access retrieval system, to the computer library access information retrieval engram... She simply chose to use the anagram as her name, where Athena may have chosen to identify more directly to the ship itself, as she was the prototype
If you've been following The Road, keep an eye out for the full epilogue to drop sometime between tomorrow and Wednesday.
Meanwhile, please enjoy a Postscript: No Dead End In Sight
Starring (in order of appearance):
Michael Pena as V.Adm. Jesu LaRoca
Kiefer Sutherland as Hank "Hacksaw" Miller
Chiwetel Ejiofer as Cmdr. Marq Sander
Chloe Grace Moretz as Acting Ens. Georgia Nguyen
Casper Van Dien as Franklin Drake
and Edward Norton as Capt. Frank Grimes
And now, let's see what everyone else has been up to...
@burstdragon323 - an interesting story, reporting on the loss of a fellow commanding officer. I like the way you set this up as a personal message rather than as an official After-Action Report, but that being the case I think you missed an opportunity to relay more of Zolaria's personal feelings. Good little entry though, anyway.
@bombardier22 - whoa! That was a great little piece. Way to leave us hanging!
@dakoton - great short story, and welcome to the LCs! I liked the imagery you used of the enemy attacking Ryan's ship, but I think it could use some rewording. Instead of "...weapons ripped through my brother's ship like a tree in a relentless storm" consider weapons ripped through my brother's ship like the relentless winds of a storm through a tree." e.g., the weapons are the storm, Ryan's ship is the tree. The way you have it worded doesn't quite make that clear. Excellent work though, otherwise!
@swat842012 - most intriguing. Similar to bombardier's entry, but more personal. I'd suggest punctuation, and decide whether your writing from 1st person or 3rd. (You start off in 3rd person and finish in 1st person.)
@maverickdude05 - another really good piece! I really loved the way you seemed to take this out of the game, from one of those uncharted cluster exploration missions. And dealing with one of those decisions of command - abandoning your men on the surface to save the ship, in this case - is never easy, especially when it results in tragedy.
@captaintk17 - very nice first entry. I'm interested to hear a little more about that "handful of crew" you lost.
@sharpie65 - good stuff!
@dariuslorelei - great story, but you've made it a little tough to read with your font choice and the italics. Also, if you haven't noticed, copying from MS Word or another word-processor program causes some punctuation marks (all your apostrophes, in this case) to turn into '?'s when pasted on the forum. You either need before or after posting, or do your typing in a plain-text writing program like Notepad. (You can then copy to MS Word for spellchecking, and copy-paste to the forums with no trouble.) But good entry, otherwise!
@masopw - awesome, brah. Really rad piece right there. You did a brilliant job crafting the tension there in the first scene, and then the way you dealt with the aftermath was just sublime. Have I already mentioned to you a couple of times how much I freaking love Sotek?
@buck311 - scary dudes, those Elachi.
@crimpson7 - nice story, interesting development there with the Undine vs. Iconians angle. But please consider using paragraph breaks to help get away the "wall o' text" effect - it would go a long way to improve readability.
@jonnaroslyn - great entry. I really liked the way that you gave almost no information about what happened or how, and just focused on the Why. Excellent bit of writing.
@icegavel - very fine piece of work. A few typos slipped through your spellchecker - "clock" instead of "cloak" as an amusing example. But I definitely enjoyed reading about this "easy" task that turned out to be anything but...
@rextorvan - you'd think by now we'd have learned to stay out of the Badlands. Bad things just seem to happen there, for whatever reason. Good story - nice to see Aguchi get what was clearly coming to him.
@wraithshadow13 - ah, at last, the origin story. If I may suggest a few minor edits: in the beginning of the story you say the Gorn cruiser is "following" the Geist without any indications of hostile intent. I was unsure for a minute who's side it was supposed to be on. Unless that's your intention, consider saying "pursuing" instead. And then [*Spoiler Alert*] when the Denning is destroyed, you go from its shields being bombarded straight to the escape pods being shot down. I think a bit more description of kinetic disassembly is called for. Great story, otherwise!
@jonsills - very cool introduction to Mr. Burwell. Short gripe about the timeline, though: You say Iain and the Icarus was pulled out of 2168. The Earth-Romulan War ended in 2160, and the UFP was founded the following year in 2161. Perhaps you should rewind a decade or so. Otherwise, as I said a very cool story.
@shevat - Another "Out of time" entry? Coincidence? Anyway, great stuff, as usual. Terrific new character. I think I'm gonna love Ronnie Grau. "Your mother was a handbag!" got me to LOL.
@aeten66 - loved the use of the ENT theme song in this one. Very nice entry.
@arxeblu - a most unusual perspective, and a highly effective way of highlighting the emotional toll and how far it extends beyond the frontlines.
@csrr12905 - good story, and interesting characters. A couple of details threw me though - "molten" Romulan ale? It's already liquid, isn't it? And you've misspelled Ferasan and Ferasa. But otherwise a solid entry.
@ironphoenix113 - a touching story. It would be interesting to see this pair develop further. They say you never want a family member to be your doctor, and this story highlights a good reason why. Of course, with a ship the size of an Odyssey-class, you should have multiple doctors who can (hopefully) overrule the CMO if McKenzie's life is ever threatened again.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
FWIW, shortly after graduating from the accelerated program in two years, Ensign Burwell will find himself reliving that horrible day, when he becomes the senior surviving officer of the Miranda-class USS Clark at the Battle of Vega...
Good catch, i made a few small adjustments, hopefully to the positive.
Michael is truly afraid that the consequences for his wife will be even worse if she goes back into service (which she surely desires eventhough she sees herself unfit for it..)
Though he puts his words a little more polite and constructive Michael obviously does not trust Starfleets Couselors...
The confusing sentence is meant to adress the disparities between the attitude of Michael and the Admiral.
T'vir is supposed to be a Vulcan and Michael suspects him to have just two things on his mind: Logic and the "functionality" of his officers. Michael puts that in contrast to his much more emotional view of his wife as a person.
Though he says otherwise, Michael is not a big fan of Starfleet. He makes a clear division between his wife in private and her role as a Starfleet Officer.
His motives may perhaps not be as noble as they seem to be in the first place...
As to the Ships name, indeed I thought of Linus Pauling. I very much like the concept of naming Starfleet ships after famous scientists. As Pauling won two Nobel Prizes I think we may as well grant him two ships bearing his name.
Thank you
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
@sander223 - Man, this is sinister stuff brewing but really well written. I'm curious: do you know the song to use for the story or does a song inspire you? Did anyone else notice the reference to patrickngo
Yup, made me chuckle :cool:
No problem
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Like you, I'm a sticker for details, and I often spend an inordinate amount of time researching things that most readers will never notice.
Your description of the star system did lend a great deal of authenticity to your story, even though I had no idea how realistic it really was.
Thank you!
To translate Southern, just mentally replace any 'h' following a vowel with an 'r' - unless its just an 'ah' or 'ahm'/'ahv' in which case the 'ah' is an 'I'. I've added her to my in-game Bridge Officer roster as a change-up torpedo officer to alternate for Mitiani Zain (I just reversed the order of Torpedo High Yield and Torpedo Spread.) Fanfic-wise, I haven't decided yet if she'll be an alternate shift projectile weapons officer or if she'll replace K'lak in security. I can tell you though, she is much smarter than she sounds.
Little bit of both. Usually the idea for the story comes first, and I scan through my music library looking for a song that will match up with what I want to write about, and then I let the lyrics influence my writing. In this case, the Foo Fighters track was just shuffled into the playlist I listen to while working on The Road, so I had it pretty well in mind and it's theme and lyrics found their way peppered into various parts of the story. I wasn't planning to use it as an intro track, but it's title just happened to intersect perfectly with the LC title and the title of my big story, so I dropped it in and pulled a few scenes out of the epilogue which seemed to fit the song.
I hope he doesn't mind getting blown up. He is a PvPer, after all. :cool:
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
I did wonder how Miss Zain might react to a 'younger model' entering into Jesu's good graces
I think Zain's learned her lesson about jumping to conclusions but it will definitely be interesting to see them interact. Georgia let slip a racist epithet (Cardies) and while she admires LaRoca's open-mindedness I'm pretty sure she's not so tolerant herself. A lot of ex-Maquis settled on Moab and the whole system was definitely sympathetic to their cause. So that's another source of potential friction. And don't forget H'mL'n in the mix as well.
BTW, I don't know if anyone caught it, but Georgia, her ship, and the circumstances of her rescue were all a reference to Torpedo Squadron 8 at the Battle of Midway.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Who probably wouldn't think twice about giving a little TRIBBLE a few slaps to keep her in line, as the behaviour of the Empress will show in the upcoming entry
I'm ashamed to say I'm not enough of a history buff to have caught that, but very nice work, I love little touches like this in work :cool:
Well, that actually comes from a bit of recent history. When patrickngo introduced us to Moab in his story Coolng we see Grantville being attacked by a party of Orion slavers.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon