When i do the writing or concept work for this stuff, i often like to think of it like i would be doing a general concept for an episode. Each Season would contain an over all arc, but each episode is self contained, although the previous was kind of lost since i'm all over the place at the moment. It's also why i'm usually short on the dialog when doing these things. It's also why i've never given much though to actors since i'd rather cast the person who best portrays the role, rather than just going for some one who were famous already. Hiring unknowns would be a great chance for them as well as leave more space in the budget for other things.
Sadly to say, that while Patrick did put together a good cast, i honestly had to google all but two, and only really recognized one other. I'll have to go through and put a LOT of deep thought into a dream team cast, just to flesh out a better look for the characters to go along with their personalities. In truth, it would also help as a reference towards pitching the idea as well.
I have to admit though, it IS nice to break into another character every now and then to help keep things fresh. While writing Vrel and Krotious it's nice to be able to push what happens since they aren't technically bound by Roddenberry's rules.
I write to a similar idea myself, although due to the shifting nature of the LC's, I try and avoid 'planning ahead' for an arc, as sometimes a challenge simply won't allow the narrative to go in a particular direction. Equally, when I cast, it's not so much about a famous name, but as you say, the best fit for the role. In some instances, I've cast models and musicians, simply because I felt they gave me the best handle on the character (my casting of Emily Ratajkowski as T'Reya is probably the best example of this) I totally agree though, from a real world production point of view, unknowns are just as good, if not more so, than the Big Names, as they would portray a character without bringing people's thoughts of previous characters to a role, but simply bringing the character through on its own merits as a character My only criteria in that regard, is if they have an IMDB listing, they're fair game as inspirational reference Likewise, that's why I find Ch'K'rr a stimulating character to write. In most fiction, she would probably be considered a villain, or at the very least, an antagonist (like the insane Emperor Kartagia in Babylon 5, who very much inspired her viciously shifting moods) but in these instances, she is 'one of the Good Guys' (and the title of the entry was direct reference to her being unable to see that her behaviour towards her daughter is the very reason why she is so spiteful )
When i do the writing or concept work for this stuff, i often like to think of it like i would be doing a general concept for an episode. Each Season would contain an over all arc, but each episode is self contained, although the previous was kind of lost since i'm all over the place at the moment. It's also why i'm usually short on the dialog when doing these things. It's also why i've never given much though to actors since i'd rather cast the person who best portrays the role, rather than just going for some one who were famous already. Hiring unknowns would be a great chance for them as well as leave more space in the budget for other things.
Sadly to say, that while Patrick did put together a good cast, i honestly had to google all but two, and only really recognized one other. I'll have to go through and put a LOT of deep thought into a dream team cast, just to flesh out a better look for the characters to go along with their personalities. In truth, it would also help as a reference towards pitching the idea as well.
I have to admit though, it IS nice to break into another character every now and then to help keep things fresh. While writing Vrel and Krotious it's nice to be able to push what happens since they aren't technically bound by Roddenberry's rules.
Casting a character I think is all about the character's attitude, and finding somebody who portrays that well in their roles. Looks are secondary, or can be ignored altogether if all you're after is a voice.
Take Jesu LaRoca for example. Michael Pena is actually about six inches too short to play him. But the guy made his name playing "Good Cop" roles (which is basically how I see Jesu) and he can go from off-the-wall badass (see End of Watch) to total softie (Crash) in a snap.
Of course, it can also work the other way around. I based a lot of Rusty's attitude on Josh Hartnett's character Slevin Kelevra from Lucky Number Slevin.
Whenever I'm not sure about a character, I just go to IMDB and find somebody who's kinda close to what I have in mind, either physically or attitude-wise, and scanning through lists of similar actors until I find someone that jumps out at me. Like a lot of my searches for villain actors start with Jack Nicholson, even though I know that (usually) he's totally wrong for the role.
More reviews!
@patrickngo - awesome bit of a mystery thriller for this LC. I'm really curious to see if Gormann makes a reappearance.
- As for your Mirror-Mirror entry; first off, what, I wonder, did the MU's Gabriel Bell do to get not one, not two, but three Terran Empire starships named in his honor? Loved the Dark Knight reference, and REALLY loved the juxtaposition of Moab (with all of its religious Zionist/LDS overtones) with New Las Vegas (the hollow neon city of evil.) Terrific piece.
@marcusdkane - brilliant job tying in your entry to the Moab/Masters arc. So many great references worked into this one. I really enjoyed following the path you took to find a cure. [*Spoiler Alert*] I'm really sad to see that Siri's treatment left her "just a Pentaxian" - though not, I suspect, as sad as Siri is. [/*Spoiler*] What happened to the "dignitary from the backward iceball" and the "Yesh muvvuh" bit cracked me up. :P
@danqueller - I really liked the way you put this one together. Great way of showing off all the awkward silences. Looking forward to more of Rycho.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
brilliant job tying in your entry to the Moab/Masters arc. So many great references worked into this one. I really enjoyed following the path you took to find a cure.
I'm really glad you enjoyed it :cool: I was tempted to have Siri's subconscious tormented by Alix again, as she had been on Caladan, but I didn't want to rip the concept of Rusty's Limbo, so kept the action external, and with her unaware of the passage of time
[*Spoiler Alert*] I'm really sad to see that Siri's treatment left her "just a Pentaxian" - though not, I suspect, as sad as Siri is. [/*Spoiler*]
Ironically, she will actually be rather happy to finally be normal, she was more shocked than angry with Kincaid. However, as we discussed, she always knew that she would eventually die of old age, but the knowledge that she can now be killed and will stay dead, may take some getting used to, and the need to talk with T'Reya. As mentioned, I wanted there to be a kind of loss, not just a 'back to normal' Happy Ending (I see her binding the ends of the claws and carrying them as weapons...)
However, there is a trapdoor... Drake and Templar have a copy of her un-corrupted transporter profile in the Saint He might try using that as 'carrot' to get her to participate in a mission for him...
I'm not sure why I had started picturing something closer to medieval society. I think that species profile would be excellent.
Maybe it was the description of grime, muck, and limited resources. Truth to be told though, I imagine Deepwell Seven as more akin to Dickensian London-- very filthy and full of very poor living conditions, but at least they have access to a few crude steam-powered things. No factories, though, as (1) the Chastised would oppose any sort of mass industrialization, and (2) the Deepwell is a series of very cramped rooms, so the fumes would kill a lot of people very quickly.
What year did Arkos leave Korda? By "four years ago," did you mean 2405, or something else?
Truth to be told, I've been thinking hard on that one. It would have been anywhere between four and ten years before the current date in-game, but that's depending on whether I want Arkos to have had a steady career in Starfleet, or have had a meteoric rise in rank due to wartime expediency. What I do know is that he went from Lieutenant to Acting Captain very quickly after the Battle of Vega.
It occurred to me that if it was 2405, it would be possible for him to meet Alyosha when Alyosha way outranks him. Which might prevent such a meeting from blowing out of control in a way that could be hurtful to us if we were to co-author: Alyosha being a superior officer might limit the extent of it. A cadet, for instance, might not speak to a commander the same way two captains would speak to each other, even with the same sharp disagreement.
I would not, however, cause Alyosha to put Arkos on report without permission, though. Even though any form of discrimination or bigotry is a huge hot button for Alyosha (one he's even snapped at people in the middle of battle for).
That would be awesome! I could see it as being an incident at the Academy, or during a starship posting. Arkos would probably still be a Cadet (or at least Junior Ensign) by that point, and being brought before then-Commander Strannik for a stern talking-to after a very vocal and very ugly disagreement with a religious shipmate.
Oh...by "reconcilers," I didn't mean that the Apologists and Chastised would reconcile. I was referring to people who would fit neither category, and would thus be reviled by both and possibly killed for it since no one would have them. A society so polarized would be likely to do that to moderate voices, I suspect.
Actually, I would imagine that there are moderates within both the Apologists and Chastised-- people who are receptive to the idea of the two groups getting along, or at least leaving each other alone. As with all beliefs, though, those moderates would probably be shouted down by the more extreme/fanatical elements of their respective groups.
And now for some reviews:
danquelier: Egad, is this the beginning of the adventures of Captain Rycho? Interesting that you chose to switch them over to a Rhode Island class, and I am intrigued by the possibility of a Borg civil war-- as was pointed out, such a thing would be disastrous for the Alpha/Beta quadrants, but it is also something that the local powers could potentially take advantage of. Either way, really well written as usual-- I suspect Admiral Zunvoc is lucky he didn't antagonize Rycho any more than he did.
csr12905: Nicely done, I like the tie-in to the "Caitian Diaspora" assignment chain. I always appreciate it when stories like yours don't gloss over the ugly realities of war.
sander233: And now we get the Klingon casualty lists. Pretty horrifying to say the least. Otherwise, I think it will be interesting to see how Ensign Nguyen adapts to life on the Tiburon-- I would imagine there will be some initial friction, what with her having to adjust to Starfleet regs and to poliies/races she may not necessarily like. Similarly, I would imagine that after all that has happened, she will have a lot of Starfleet officers pitying her, and maybe one or two still feeling bitter about Moab's defection in the first place.
grylak: Ouch. That was brutal (though the action was exceptionally well-written). I was literally wincing at your descriptions of the damage the Sentinel was taking, the losses its crew were suffering, and of the physical injuries Talaina was racking up. I am very interested in seeing what happens next-- whether or not the Sentinel's crew will get Stunshock and the other missing crew members back.
patrickngo: That actually took me by surprise. Initially, I had assumed the lovers' spat between those two officers would simply be incidental background material. I had never once imagined that one of those two officers was a treasonous psychopath who may or may not still be at large. I'm very interested to see how you might continue from this. Otherwise, I really liked the interactions between Alenis and D'Ves-- I would imagine that at this point in time, a lot of the Bajorans' bitterness over the occupation might have cooled down after the Cardassians essentially suffered the same fate.
marcusdkane: Huzzah, more Pentaxians! I like the way you handled this medical dilemma, and further like this additional glimpse of Pentaxian society.
Huzzah, more Pentaxians! I like the way you handled this medical dilemma, and further like this additional glimpse of Pentaxian society.
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it I wanted to try and illustrate the cultural divide between the castes, even though in theory, they each provide equally vital functions. The meeting between I'sK'r, I'pH'n and the empress really would be like trailer trash being invited to a high society event, but with the staff then being the more discriminating than that upper strata :eek: I trust people realise that the Empress' daughter was the security leak, but I'm not going to reveal the identity of her source just yet
@marcusdkane: Thank you! I didn't mean to go the route I did but it came to me today. Man, I was tempted to leave this LC alone because there are some amazing entries and they are a hard act to follow ...
Concerning LC 43: I made Rank 4 in Diplomacy which awards a Bridge Officer from the enemy faction and not-so-coincidentally LC43 was my way of getting that Orion onto my Bridge crew. LC 5 was in preparation for that. 1+1+1=3. You suggestion earlier that Prime Kathryn take a page from Mirror Kathryn's playbook is not my intention BUT, I still have more LCs to catch up on and I have not read all their topics. LC 37 was *my* introduction to the MU Kathryn and Staza was not even planned. Then again, that LCs topic didn't need Staza anyway so I'm not making any adjustments. Having just typed that, MU Kathryn's motivation to kill MU Daikar may be because of Staza ... that would be amazing serendipity!
I may have said this before, but I'm not writing these LCs in chronological order. I'm just writing whatever comes to mind. If, during the course or Imagineering, a link can be made to another LC then it makes the endeavor that much better for me, and hopefully the reader. I'm finding the use of linking to the STO Wiki when ships are involved is fun. I probably should put what I have in some order though ... that may help me out some.
Concerning your entry and related to discussion: so ... does this mean the Vanguard has a copy of Siri's "new" form logged in the transporter files?
@wraithshadow13 concerning the cast: blame marcusdkane for that trend (iirc) For my part, I tend to stick to famous people because I see them more often than not. Since my on-ship characters are actual BOffs in game, I just go for "who do I want". Admittedly, some actors are a flavor-of-the-month type that I now feel compelled to stick with. For example, Malin Ackerman (my "Omazei") is utterly beautiful to me, buuut I'm wondering if there is another person that could look it better. Meh, for now.
Maybe it was the description of grime, muck, and limited resources.
It might also be the hints of torches and pitchforks...
Truth to be told, I've been thinking hard on that one. It would have been anywhere between four and ten years before the current date in-game, but that's depending on whether I want Arkos to have had a steady career in Starfleet, or have had a meteoric rise in rank due to wartime expediency. What I do know is that he went from Lieutenant to Acting Captain very quickly after the Battle of Vega.
Alyosha's career was normal-to-slow...unfortunately, partly due to speciesism. Each increase in rank was met with resistance from some on the promotion board who knew the truth. It's questionable if he would've made captain if not for the war, even with Kane and Teeglar fighting on his behalf.
That would be awesome! I could see it as being an incident at the Academy, or during a starship posting. Arkos would probably still be a Cadet (or at least Junior Ensign) by that point, and being brought before then-Commander Strannik for a stern talking-to after a very vocal and very ugly disagreement with a religious shipmate.
If it took place aboard the Avandar, I can actually see the possible tactic Alyosha would use to make a point...
Actually, I would imagine that there are moderates within both the Apologists and Chastised-- people who are receptive to the idea of the two groups getting along, or at least leaving each other alone. As with all beliefs, though, those moderates would probably be shouted down by the more extreme/fanatical elements of their respective groups.
I'd be astonished if it stopped with just shouting, on either side.
To my surprise, I finished a story...it's really a narrative, a captain's log, rather than a story, but it sets the stage for the Chin'toka to move past the DS11 incident. While it's not the story I would've liked to write, if I'd had time, it's something. And it does also provide another bit of a look at Captain Teeglar.
Also, I haven't decided whether or not to acknowledge the events in the Moab system in "my" universe, but in case I do, this would explain why Alyosha wasn't a part of it: his career history in multiple ways lends itself to the Cardassian region (which I see as the typical operations theater of the 77th Fleet to which he belongs), and he is not as involved in the Klingon front. As is mentioned in the story, someone has to maintain a presence on Starfleet's other fronts, or they may become other avenues of attack (and in STO we can see that Starfleet is just barely holding it together, just barely keeping from being swamped on all fronts).
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@marcusdkane: Thank you! I didn't mean to go the route I did but it came to me today. Man, I was tempted to leave this LC alone because there are some amazing entries and they are a hard act to follow ...
Concerning LC 43: I made Rank 4 in Diplomacy which awards a Bridge Officer from the enemy faction and not-so-coincidentally LC43 was my way of getting that Orion onto my Bridge crew. LC 5 was in preparation for that. 1+1+1=3. You suggestion earlier that Prime Kathryn take a page from Mirror Kathryn's playbook is not my intention BUT, I still have more LCs to catch up on and I have not read all their topics. LC 37 was *my* introduction to the MU Kathryn and Staza was not even planned. Then again, that LCs topic didn't need Staza anyway so I'm not making any adjustments. Having just typed that, MU Kathryn's motivation to kill MU Daikar may be because of Staza ... that would be amazing serendipity!
Ahh, now that would be very cool, as the reason was never truly divulged, that said, I find a similar thing when writing as well. I never intended for Mayer to be TRIBBLE, instead, he was supposed to be the ship's resident douchebag ladies man... (like his historical namesake ) but instead, he wound up as Amanda and Siri's rock :eek:
Concerning your entry and related to discussion: so ... does this mean the Vanguard has a copy of Siri's "new" form logged in the transporter files?
Yes. My understanding of transporter files, has always been that each time someone is transported, the system only rebuilds them as per the signal of that preceding dematerialisation, rather than 'resetting' them to a set point each time (which in theory would always cure any illness or injury) so as far as Amanda and the Happy Gang are concerned, Siri's re-constituted form is permanent. However, as mentioned to Sander233, Drake has a record of her original pattern aboard his personal shuttle, which would allow her to be returned to her original half-breed semi-immortal form. The only questions, are would he use this as some kind of leverage to ensure compliance on a mission, and would Siri even want to be reset, because for the first time in her life, she is now what her people consider normal, and rather happy with that
The Lord English returns to present-day Vega Colony to assist a friend. An attempt at a more serious story, despite having started off as lighter fare. Oh well~.
To my surprise, I finished a story...it's really a narrative, a captain's log, rather than a story, but it sets the stage for the Chin'toka to move past the DS11 incident. While it's not the story I would've liked to write, if I'd had time, it's something. And it does also provide another bit of a look at Captain Teeglar.
Oooh, more Teeglar!! I'll look forward to reading this :cool:
Also, I haven't decided whether or not to acknowledge the events in the Moab system in "my" universe, but in case I do, this would explain why Alyosha wasn't a part of it: his career history in multiple ways lends itself to the Cardassian region (which I see as the typical operations theater of the 77th Fleet to which he belongs), and he is not as involved in the Klingon front. As is mentioned in the story, someone has to maintain a presence on Starfleet's other fronts, or they may become other avenues of attack (and in STO we can see that Starfleet is just barely holding it together, just barely keeping from being swamped on all fronts).
This would very much make sense... Also, bear in mind that the Moab incident was a rather isolated/unanticipated one, and the Tiburon's distress call never made it out of the system due to the subspace interference from the Iconian gate, which is why there was no rescue by the rest of the fleet. The Valkyrie only wound up being there due to the chance encounter with the Hammerhead at K-7, Grimes knowing Amanda and her tactical use, and the fact the ship had an ambassador on board, which cut through any red tape or clearance issues surrounding a diplomatically sensitive region...
Somehow, though, I do think that if the word about Moab got out, it would be all over the media and hotly debated, given the fact that it was precipitated by Starfleet disarming and abandoning them.
It's the kind of thing that I think would get around-the-clock news coverage if the knowledge became known to the general public. That said, I'm still not decided on whether I intend to involve Alyosha in the same continuity to that degree.
I do wonder, however, if the interdictor that was being developed at Deep Space 11 might well help prevent future incursions or at least slow them down or cause the to come through damaged. Its use was intended to stop ships that were coming through in slipstream or transwarp, but I wonder if it would also help with interdimensional incursions.
But unless he is ordered to go other places (the Devidian mission, and the Gameptis mission being examples), or someone else happening into his path (like the tac cube he soloed near the Badlands--basically my way of showing a Beta Ursae Red Alert!), the True Way is indeed his primary foe. I would think that even though the Klingon front is critical, losing Cardassia to another aggressive military junta would be a blow the Federation could not withstand. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
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@patrickngo - I really enjoyed this. I still have it in my head: Rycho = douchebag. But over the last couple of entries this is turning around and this entry sealed it. I appreciate the RI-class ship as well and have started considering to use it instead of the Mirror DSSV, but that's another discussion.
@gulberat - I liked Teegler's advice a lot. It's certainly a half-full point of view for a bad situation. As a side note, it's entries like this that make me want to see the DS9 series in total. I missed almost every episode from the second season to end. I mean, I've seen parts and read about stuff, but nothing in continuity. I think, without that background, I'm missing a frame of reference to fully appreciate entries mentioning the Dominion War.
@zidantribal - Thank you for bring me back to the intro of the game. When I started I was so focused on learning to move and shoot and stuff that the story was mostly overlooked by me. Frankly, I'm deliberately avoiding trying to talk about that period in any character's life. It's just a blob of images in my memory. Shame on Lee for stealing[/I] from the Enterprise - that's simple theft :P
The Lord English returns to present-day Vega Colony to assist a friend. An attempt at a more serious story, despite having started off as lighter fare. Oh well~.
A nice entry, and indeed, it struck a nice balance between the serious and the humorous :cool:
To my shame, I just realised that you had posted it, which I had missed when commenting before It was certainly a poignant entry, and very enjoyable. I would say it is a shame it did not go on longer, but from your previous post, I appreciate your time is restricted at present, so understand why it is as it is Ironically, this entry deals with a concept I've been mulling over since while writing my last entry, so have a quick question for you: Do you think a Devidian would make a good bodyguard?
I guess you and I have different takes on it-as the originator of them, I'd say the defection of the Moab colonies would've made page 1 for about a day, and been a controversy for about a month. It's a big universe, there's a LOT of news out there.
Maybe, but I also think that secession--especially defection--would be a HUGE deal. There's probably a mentality out there that the Federation is perfect and no one would EVER want to leave paradise. An ignorant attitude, but I suspect it exists.
The aftermath and the death toll from the Fek invasion now...THAT would be front page news-might even last a week before some celebrity does something stupid, but it would have about as much importance for most people as that Tsunami in Indonesia did.
I'm not sure...we're talking about deaths in the hundreds of millions.
IOW, some of the officers and men in the Cardassian sector might be talking about it-as a distant event, a tragedy-that-happens-to-other-people.
That said, you did mention the Cardassians were sending at least some aid. That's something that would offer a local connection...making sure those ships got through, because I imagine the True Way would be incensed about Cardassia giving its precious resources to a bunch of what they see as Untermenschen.
@gulberat - I liked Teegler's advice a lot. It's certainly a half-full point of view for a bad situation.
It kind of is...though Teeglar is not one to call the "tragedy-that-is-not" a blessing, and tell people to be grateful as though they were given gifts. His terminology still recognizes that it is being spared evil rather than given good.
As a side note, it's entries like this that make me want to see the DS9 series in total. I missed almost every episode from the second season to end. I mean, I've seen parts and read about stuff, but nothing in continuity. I think, without that background, I'm missing a frame of reference to fully appreciate entries mentioning the Dominion War.
DS9 is AWESOME.
@zidantribal - Thank you for bring me back to the intro of the game. When I started I was so focused on learning to move and shoot and stuff that the story was mostly overlooked by me. Frankly, I'm deliberately avoiding trying to talk about that period in any character's life. It's just a blob of images in my memory.
I handled that by assigning it to Admiral Berat, in my continuity, and not to Alyosha's career progression. Plus it also made sense for an experienced exchange officer like him (already a commissioned gul in the Cardassian military) to gain rank fast, as opposed to a newbie.
To my shame, I just realised that you had posted it, which I had missed when commenting before It was certainly a poignant entry, and very enjoyable. I would say it is a shame it did not go on longer, but from your previous post, I appreciate your time is restricted at present, so understand why it is as it is
Glad you still liked it.
(And not a problem last night; I had figured you were on your way to bed and had planned to read it in the morning. )
Ironically, this entry deals with a concept I've been mulling over since while writing my last entry, so have a quick question for you: Do you think a Devidian would make a good bodyguard?
I don't know. I doubt any other Devidian would go for a gig like that. Even so, physical stuff--as you saw--takes a toll on Alyosha. He cannot push his body as hard as a human. He's not as fragile as an Elaysian, but his body does not have the same ability to absorb a blow or even repeated stresses. Dr. Sei, in some ways, has to function like a sports physician because Alyosha is probably by Devidian standards an athlete because of the things he puts himself through that a "normal" Devidian would not, and he is susceptible to the sorts of injuries you see an overworked athlete succumb to.
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(And not a problem last night; I had figured you were on your way to bed and had planned to read it in the morning. )[/QUOTE]
Very much so, just as per my original comment, needs more Teeglar I simply hadn't realised that you'd posted it, as ZidaneTribal's post not only showed up as the most recent on the thread, but had put the thread over the page, so I simply never saw it I'm glad I did though ^_^
[QUOTE=gulberat;12247171
I don't know. I doubt any other Devidian would go for a gig like that. Even so, physical stuff--as you saw--takes a toll on Alyosha. He cannot push his body as hard as a human. He's not as fragile as an Elaysian, but his body does not have the same ability to absorb a blow or even repeated stresses. Dr. Sei, in some ways, has to function like a sports physician because Alyosha is probably by Devidian standards an athlete because of the things he puts himself through that a "normal" Devidian would not, and he is susceptible to the sorts of injuries you see an overworked athlete succumb to.[/QUOTE]
This is what I wondered... I'll PM you my idea so as not to give the game away just incase ^_^
@cmdrscarlet - thanks for your kind words! Glad I had you glued to the page...I was trying for that!
@sander233 - thanks brah...I will endeavour to give you more Sotek!
(All the chatter in previous feedback threads meant I've spent a lot of time coming up with the why of Sotek...and I know that he's not a favourite of some here because of his decidedly un-Vulcan mannerisms. To the haters...there will be a payoff. Eventually...)
Now, some reviews. As always, meant with the best intentions, please accept as constructive criticism. (For example...if I harp on about grammar/spelling, you'll think I'm a/an *insert expletive of your choice* if English isn't your first language...but...I don't know that unless you tell me!)
Yes...it can come across online like a grade school teacher with a red pen...but instead, think of me as that fellow Trekkie at a convention, and we're chatting with a frosty beverage in hand...
(Works both ways too...feel free to eviscerate my entries...it's the only way I'm gonna improve.)
(spoilers may be present...I'm kinda too lazy today to type *spoiler alert* for each and every entry!):
@burstdragon323: You could add some flavour text to flesh it out - describe where the dread was rammed, what vital system was exposed for your ship to hit, etc. Second paragraph - if having a two sentence paragraph, try to avoid having them start identically.
@bombadier22: Typo - did you mean spatial instead of spacial? Capitalize "Borg", "Queen", & "Federation". If you're going to insert an interruption to a thought/conversation, a paragraph break could more clearly define it.
@dakoton: the metaphor didn't come across as clearly as you may have intended (weapons ripped...like a tree in a relentless storm.) Do you mean a tree shredding in a storm? An uprooted tree becoming a deadly projectile?
@swat842012: 150k Borg Cubes? Uhm...a little bit on the high side. Even 150 is on the high side. Capitalization & typos need fixing. Also, a run on sentence can be difficult to read.
@maverickdude05: Questions: Were the Hirogen on the surface already present, or did the Hirogen ship beam them down when they jumped in system? Timing is confusing...7 weeks to get to a location, but only 13 hours to get back to a friendly station? During that time, did they hit any other planets, or only visit Grenthar Four? (Capitalize proper names/divisions.)
@captaink17: I liked it. Further info would flesh it out nicely...why was the cloak straining the deflector dish? (Capitalize ranks in full.)
@sharpie65: So...what classes were the ships in your task force? Some catastrophic damage...loss of a main bridge! Loss of 9 decks! C'mon...need more details!
@dariuslorelei: Nitpicking...plural of battery is batteries. "Unimatrix" instead of "Unimatris". Format errors - " ' " were replaced with "?" Capitalize 'Borg', but not 'Voyage'.
@buck311: Hook set...I'm curious about the kidnapping of one of each species. Always like when in game tech makes an appearance!
@crimpson7: Hmm...peace treaty with rogue ships? I'm confused...if they were rogue ships, why exactly would the Undine survivor be expected to have any credibility with their High Council? Casualty report was a bit of a run on sentence...and please pop in some paragraph breaks to save aging eyes!
@jonnaroslyn: Very nicely done! Sparkles...who's gonna be more excited, science or engineer types?
@icegavel: Beam through a clock without dripping? <g> Nicely done, though...love when somebody goes that extra mile to pop in the correct Borg species designator!
@rextorvan36: Good story. Aguchi is one smug *expletive of your choice*. I hope he ends up getting what he deserves...
@wraithshadow13: *Sigh*...you'd think that after all these years they'd come up with non-exploding consoles...like, future WiFi or something that a threat couldn't jam. Tribble with sharp teeth...lol. Nicely done.
@jonsils: Loved it. Question...United Earth Star Fleet? Huh?
@shevet: "Your mother was a hand bag!" ROFLOL! Simply loved it!
@aten66: I loved how you interspersed the Enterprise theme song with Gregs' thoughts. Beautiful.
@arxeblu: Couple of typo/format errors. (The dreaded "?"s popping up.) Well written, in that it irked me...no matter how much somebody *wants* to know something, sometimes they just *can't*. I understand the sacrifice that dependents go through. Appreciate them. But a dependent is *never* entitled to info they aren't privy to. Fact...if they are ever going to get the info...it is going to come from their loved one. Going to the command in an end around...well...as I said, I'm irked. And that's a sign of a great piece. (Ditto for when I hate a character on a show...it's because the actor/actress did an exceptional job of making me hate a fictional character.)
@csrr12905: Liked it. Thanks for popping in the ship classes...I like details like that. Molten Romulan Ale...hmm...how exactly does that happen? Bottle mixes with Ale & plasma to create a toxic biohazard that eats conduits?
@ironphoenix113: Sweet story...hope that the relationship lasts, and that neither of them is acting brashly.
@sander233: You killed Patrick Ngo? Remind me to pop in more and more Sotek! Loved it. You nailed 'southern' twang..."the cancer" sold it. Frank a cactus...yep...he comes across a bit prickly. *Sigh*...off to ensure there's enough toner to print that Road of yours...
@grylak: Talaina fights *dirty*. Heh...sitting aquatic animal, Gorns part chicken...some great lines...loved it! Question...it's always been voice authentication for command authorization, or retinal pattern recognition...how is the DNA sampled in your scenario? And why'd you have to go and kill a Ghostbuster? Now who you gonna call?!? <g>
@ambassadormollari: Awesome. A whole backstory, very well told. See...this is what the game should have...cluster exploration missions that, like, *explore* a different culture, not just have you scan for 5 anomalies, or 5 wrecks, or 5 whatevers...
@patrickngo: Dude...sander233 killed you! ...ok... So...who the baby daddy of Ensign Patty? Will the crew start chanting, "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry..." <g> Nits...couple of sentences start without caps, ditto 'Bajoran'. But your entry...great. Gormann is sick...please feel free *not* to further explain what happens next!
Aging eyes are starting to blur over...will pop up my 2 cents on the remaining stories when the Refresh (tm) kicks in! (Sept.03/2013@2050EST)
@marcusdkane: honest opinion first...a ship avatar takes me more to "Andromeda" then "Star Trek." Yes, Data & Voyager's EMH have made a good case for artificial & simulated life forms...and by the 25th century things may be difference. Just personal preferences...doesn't take away the enjoyment your piece brings, though. (Yes...this coming from the guy who has Vulcans throwing shakas...) Liquifying from the inside out...*shudder*. "It sounds like she disagreed with something that ate her"...007 reference? And is Child Protective Services on that planet brave enough to get involved with the Empress? <g> A'nla sh'ck program...B5 reference? Caught your zing against Apple! Question - how is Pentaxia a provisional member of the UFP when they have rather...extreme...methods of showing their displeasure with diplomatic gaffes? The ending...very chilling. Never a pleasant sensation to wake up from general anesthesia and find an unexpected scar the surgeon didn't discuss with you before the procedure...but to find claws? Ack!
@danqueller: "Please update translation protocols." Classic! Loved the story...and the thought of a Borg civil war in the Alpha Quadrant...*shudder*.
@cmdrscarlett: Beautiful. I want to hear about the other 26...
@jonsils: Loved it. Question...United Earth Star Fleet? Huh?
The "naval" arm of the United Earth Space Probe Agency. While TOS took quite a few episodes to decide what the fleet was called, ENT specified from the first episode that Capt. Archer was commissioned in the Star Fleet of United Earth. It formed the nucleus of the UFP Starfleet, when the Federation decided they needed a regular service.
So Iain qualified for the advanced class both because of his "recent" command experience, and because of his previous Star Fleet commission.
honest opinion first...a ship avatar takes me more to "Andromeda" then "Star Trek." Yes, Data & Voyager's EMH have made a good case for artificial & simulated life forms...and by the 25th century things may be difference. Just personal preferences...doesn't take away the enjoyment your piece brings, though. (Yes...this coming from the guy who has Vulcans throwing shakas...)
Thanks for the feedback ^_^ I decided to go down the route of a ship's avatar having seen IronPhoenix's Athena, which I believe was also an Andromeda homage (I personally view the AndromedaVerse as TheFuture of the prime TrekVerse, so like to write in 'transitional' touches) Claire started off as an idea for a simple photonic interface, but she really has taken on a life of her own ^_^ As for the shakas, I like Sotek :-D
And is Child Protective Services on that planet brave enough to get involved with the Empress? <g>
At twenty fiveish, I think she's a bit too old to be calling ChildLine for help Hense the Andromeda title, the Ties That Blind She's in the process of trying to get Mother taken care of
Question - how is Pentaxia a provisional member of the UFP when they have rather...extreme...methods of showing their displeasure with diplomatic gaffes?
This is precisely why Pentaxia is still only in the provisional stages of "Paper work's signed, but you're not coming in till a few things get worked out..." The application was approved to allow Federation intervention in an assassination attempt, but there's no one on either side hurrying to get the final approval stamped
The ending...very chilling. Never a pleasant sensation to wake up from general anesthesia and find an unexpected scar the surgeon didn't discuss with you before the procedure...but to find claws? Ack!
Interesting perspective, I hadn't ever thought of it that way. But. Pentaxians are supposed to have visible finger claws... Siri was previously considered an object of disgust by her people for not having them, due to her experimental/hybrid nature. By acquiring them, she is now, by their standards, completely normal ^_^
There IS the Maquis precedent to consider here-I suspect there is genuine ANGER over the secession, and more over the Defection-these people not only LEFT the Federation, but they chose to side with "The Enemy".
but out of how many trillions? assume an average Federation world (or even long-established colony) has a base population in the billions...
Sander233 actually added that bit, since it's a shared universe I can't overrule it...but if I'd been prime driver for the aftermath, there wouldn't have been Cardassian aid because "It's a Tragedy, but it's not OUR tragedy." The Federation actually has a plausible ulterior motive for sending aid-to weaken the "Rebels" by undermining their grievance. The only reason I could see Cardassian aid in a similar light of "realpolitik" is that it would confer some prestige and possibly get some officers of 'questionable loyalty' out of the AO on a distant mission, or to provide a test of Cardassia's logistical and expeditionary capability as part of a longer game to regain some/most/all of the power and prestige they lost after the Dominion War.
Come to think on it, that's not a half-bad ulterior motive-with the DS9 protocols effectively signed, Cardassia's got an excuse to go on a crash military building/development programme as part of the anti-borg alliance. The ability to support long-range expeditionary operations is key, and like all logistical problems, the only difference between shipping the three B's of a combat force, and doing long-distance disaster aid, is that you're changing the proportions of the B's (three B's are: Beans, Bullets, Blankets).
Even the True Way would possibly see the utility of a mission like that- based on the idea that they see their victory as a historical inevitability (to steal a term from the Soviets), having a developed cadre of personnel who know how to support extended operations of an expeditionary nature, as well as the obvious intelligence gathering and secondary activities outweighs 'aiding untermensch'...and the recruitment value for their propoganda is priceless.
I would have just said Jesu called in a favor, but your behind-the-scenes machinations are a lot more believable.
More Reviews!
From the recent additions to LC #40:
@patrickngo - enjoyed the Passing Grades bit. I was never much of fan of Gonzo, but she's starting to grow on me.
@ambassadormolari - awesome piece there. I am really enjoying Lynathru's displays of badassery. Your tlhIngan Hol skills could use some work though - I think you described Janga as a "Sorry Leader." And since when do the Gorn have tails? Still, great fight scene.
As for this thread:
@cmdrscarlet - excellent entry. I loved the line at the end.
@gulberat - another brilliant ending to a terrific after-the-fact entry. Captain Teeglar is a very wise man.
@zindanetribal - writing letters of condolence while drinking from a stolen teacup - *shakes head in amazement* - is it just me or is Admiral Lee not quite "with it"?
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Comments
Casting a character I think is all about the character's attitude, and finding somebody who portrays that well in their roles. Looks are secondary, or can be ignored altogether if all you're after is a voice.
Take Jesu LaRoca for example. Michael Pena is actually about six inches too short to play him. But the guy made his name playing "Good Cop" roles (which is basically how I see Jesu) and he can go from off-the-wall badass (see End of Watch) to total softie (Crash) in a snap.
Of course, it can also work the other way around. I based a lot of Rusty's attitude on Josh Hartnett's character Slevin Kelevra from Lucky Number Slevin.
Whenever I'm not sure about a character, I just go to IMDB and find somebody who's kinda close to what I have in mind, either physically or attitude-wise, and scanning through lists of similar actors until I find someone that jumps out at me. Like a lot of my searches for villain actors start with Jack Nicholson, even though I know that (usually) he's totally wrong for the role.
More reviews!
@patrickngo - awesome bit of a mystery thriller for this LC. I'm really curious to see if Gormann makes a reappearance.
- As for your Mirror-Mirror entry; first off, what, I wonder, did the MU's Gabriel Bell do to get not one, not two, but three Terran Empire starships named in his honor? Loved the Dark Knight reference, and REALLY loved the juxtaposition of Moab (with all of its religious Zionist/LDS overtones) with New Las Vegas (the hollow neon city of evil.) Terrific piece.
@marcusdkane - brilliant job tying in your entry to the Moab/Masters arc. So many great references worked into this one. I really enjoyed following the path you took to find a cure. [*Spoiler Alert*] I'm really sad to see that Siri's treatment left her "just a Pentaxian" - though not, I suspect, as sad as Siri is. [/*Spoiler*] What happened to the "dignitary from the backward iceball" and the "Yesh muvvuh" bit cracked me up. :P
@danqueller - I really liked the way you put this one together. Great way of showing off all the awkward silences. Looking forward to more of Rycho.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Ironically, she will actually be rather happy to finally be normal, she was more shocked than angry with Kincaid. However, as we discussed, she always knew that she would eventually die of old age, but the knowledge that she can now be killed and will stay dead, may take some getting used to, and the need to talk with T'Reya. As mentioned, I wanted there to be a kind of loss, not just a 'back to normal' Happy Ending (I see her binding the ends of the claws and carrying them as weapons...)
However, there is a trapdoor... Drake and Templar have a copy of her un-corrupted transporter profile in the Saint
I think it's a shame that Mitchell will never know what happened to his old buddy Yurass
Really nice insight into Gonzo's past, it definitely makes things about her make more sense
Maybe it was the description of grime, muck, and limited resources. Truth to be told though, I imagine Deepwell Seven as more akin to Dickensian London-- very filthy and full of very poor living conditions, but at least they have access to a few crude steam-powered things. No factories, though, as (1) the Chastised would oppose any sort of mass industrialization, and (2) the Deepwell is a series of very cramped rooms, so the fumes would kill a lot of people very quickly.
Truth to be told, I've been thinking hard on that one. It would have been anywhere between four and ten years before the current date in-game, but that's depending on whether I want Arkos to have had a steady career in Starfleet, or have had a meteoric rise in rank due to wartime expediency. What I do know is that he went from Lieutenant to Acting Captain very quickly after the Battle of Vega.
That would be awesome! I could see it as being an incident at the Academy, or during a starship posting. Arkos would probably still be a Cadet (or at least Junior Ensign) by that point, and being brought before then-Commander Strannik for a stern talking-to after a very vocal and very ugly disagreement with a religious shipmate.
Actually, I would imagine that there are moderates within both the Apologists and Chastised-- people who are receptive to the idea of the two groups getting along, or at least leaving each other alone. As with all beliefs, though, those moderates would probably be shouted down by the more extreme/fanatical elements of their respective groups.
And now for some reviews:
danquelier: Egad, is this the beginning of the adventures of Captain Rycho? Interesting that you chose to switch them over to a Rhode Island class, and I am intrigued by the possibility of a Borg civil war-- as was pointed out, such a thing would be disastrous for the Alpha/Beta quadrants, but it is also something that the local powers could potentially take advantage of. Either way, really well written as usual-- I suspect Admiral Zunvoc is lucky he didn't antagonize Rycho any more than he did.
csr12905: Nicely done, I like the tie-in to the "Caitian Diaspora" assignment chain. I always appreciate it when stories like yours don't gloss over the ugly realities of war.
sander233: And now we get the Klingon casualty lists. Pretty horrifying to say the least. Otherwise, I think it will be interesting to see how Ensign Nguyen adapts to life on the Tiburon-- I would imagine there will be some initial friction, what with her having to adjust to Starfleet regs and to poliies/races she may not necessarily like. Similarly, I would imagine that after all that has happened, she will have a lot of Starfleet officers pitying her, and maybe one or two still feeling bitter about Moab's defection in the first place.
grylak: Ouch. That was brutal (though the action was exceptionally well-written). I was literally wincing at your descriptions of the damage the Sentinel was taking, the losses its crew were suffering, and of the physical injuries Talaina was racking up. I am very interested in seeing what happens next-- whether or not the Sentinel's crew will get Stunshock and the other missing crew members back.
patrickngo: That actually took me by surprise. Initially, I had assumed the lovers' spat between those two officers would simply be incidental background material. I had never once imagined that one of those two officers was a treasonous psychopath who may or may not still be at large. I'm very interested to see how you might continue from this. Otherwise, I really liked the interactions between Alenis and D'Ves-- I would imagine that at this point in time, a lot of the Bajorans' bitterness over the occupation might have cooled down after the Cardassians essentially suffered the same fate.
marcusdkane: Huzzah, more Pentaxians! I like the way you handled this medical dilemma, and further like this additional glimpse of Pentaxian society.
This takes place before my LC 1 entry (found in LC 40).
Cast:
Kathryn Beringer - Rachel Nichols
Sombre, but effective, very nice glimpse into Kathryn's past :cool:
Concerning LC 43: I made Rank 4 in Diplomacy which awards a Bridge Officer from the enemy faction and not-so-coincidentally LC43 was my way of getting that Orion onto my Bridge crew. LC 5 was in preparation for that. 1+1+1=3.
I may have said this before, but I'm not writing these LCs in chronological order. I'm just writing whatever comes to mind. If, during the course or Imagineering, a link can be made to another LC then it makes the endeavor that much better for me, and hopefully the reader. I'm finding the use of linking to the STO Wiki when ships are involved is fun. I probably should put what I have in some order though ... that may help me out some.
Concerning your entry and related to discussion: so ... does this mean the Vanguard has a copy of Siri's "new" form logged in the transporter files?
@wraithshadow13 concerning the cast: blame marcusdkane for that trend (iirc)
It might also be the hints of torches and pitchforks...
Alyosha's career was normal-to-slow...unfortunately, partly due to speciesism. Each increase in rank was met with resistance from some on the promotion board who knew the truth. It's questionable if he would've made captain if not for the war, even with Kane and Teeglar fighting on his behalf.
If it took place aboard the Avandar, I can actually see the possible tactic Alyosha would use to make a point...
I'd be astonished if it stopped with just shouting, on either side.
To my surprise, I finished a story...it's really a narrative, a captain's log, rather than a story, but it sets the stage for the Chin'toka to move past the DS11 incident. While it's not the story I would've liked to write, if I'd had time, it's something. And it does also provide another bit of a look at Captain Teeglar.
Also, I haven't decided whether or not to acknowledge the events in the Moab system in "my" universe, but in case I do, this would explain why Alyosha wasn't a part of it: his career history in multiple ways lends itself to the Cardassian region (which I see as the typical operations theater of the 77th Fleet to which he belongs), and he is not as involved in the Klingon front. As is mentioned in the story, someone has to maintain a presence on Starfleet's other fronts, or they may become other avenues of attack (and in STO we can see that Starfleet is just barely holding it together, just barely keeping from being swamped on all fronts).
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Yes. My understanding of transporter files, has always been that each time someone is transported, the system only rebuilds them as per the signal of that preceding dematerialisation, rather than 'resetting' them to a set point each time (which in theory would always cure any illness or injury) so as far as Amanda and the Happy Gang are concerned, Siri's re-constituted form is permanent. However, as mentioned to Sander233, Drake has a record of her original pattern aboard his personal shuttle, which would allow her to be returned to her original half-breed semi-immortal form. The only questions, are would he use this as some kind of leverage to ensure compliance on a mission, and would Siri even want to be reset, because for the first time in her life, she is now what her people consider normal, and rather happy with that
Literary Challenges Entries- Star Trek Online: Lord English
Dramatis Personae of Star Trek Online: Lord English
This would very much make sense... Also, bear in mind that the Moab incident was a rather isolated/unanticipated one, and the Tiburon's distress call never made it out of the system due to the subspace interference from the Iconian gate, which is why there was no rescue by the rest of the fleet. The Valkyrie only wound up being there due to the chance encounter with the Hammerhead at K-7, Grimes knowing Amanda and her tactical use, and the fact the ship had an ambassador on board, which cut through any red tape or clearance issues surrounding a diplomatically sensitive region...
It's the kind of thing that I think would get around-the-clock news coverage if the knowledge became known to the general public. That said, I'm still not decided on whether I intend to involve Alyosha in the same continuity to that degree.
I do wonder, however, if the interdictor that was being developed at Deep Space 11 might well help prevent future incursions or at least slow them down or cause the to come through damaged. Its use was intended to stop ships that were coming through in slipstream or transwarp, but I wonder if it would also help with interdimensional incursions.
But unless he is ordered to go other places (the Devidian mission, and the Gameptis mission being examples), or someone else happening into his path (like the tac cube he soloed near the Badlands--basically my way of showing a Beta Ursae Red Alert!), the True Way is indeed his primary foe. I would think that even though the Klingon front is critical, losing Cardassia to another aggressive military junta would be a blow the Federation could not withstand. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
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@gulberat - I liked Teegler's advice a lot. It's certainly a half-full point of view for a bad situation. As a side note, it's entries like this that make me want to see the DS9 series in total. I missed almost every episode from the second season to end. I mean, I've seen parts and read about stuff, but nothing in continuity. I think, without that background, I'm missing a frame of reference to fully appreciate entries mentioning the Dominion War.
@zidantribal - Thank you for bring me back to the intro of the game. When I started I was so focused on learning to move and shoot and stuff that the story was mostly overlooked by me. Frankly, I'm deliberately avoiding trying to talk about that period in any character's life. It's just a blob of images in my memory. Shame on Lee for stealing[/I] from the Enterprise - that's simple theft :P
A nice entry, and indeed, it struck a nice balance between the serious and the humorous :cool:
Maybe, but I also think that secession--especially defection--would be a HUGE deal. There's probably a mentality out there that the Federation is perfect and no one would EVER want to leave paradise. An ignorant attitude, but I suspect it exists.
I'm not sure...we're talking about deaths in the hundreds of millions.
That said, you did mention the Cardassians were sending at least some aid. That's something that would offer a local connection...making sure those ships got through, because I imagine the True Way would be incensed about Cardassia giving its precious resources to a bunch of what they see as Untermenschen.
It kind of is...though Teeglar is not one to call the "tragedy-that-is-not" a blessing, and tell people to be grateful as though they were given gifts. His terminology still recognizes that it is being spared evil rather than given good.
DS9 is AWESOME.
I handled that by assigning it to Admiral Berat, in my continuity, and not to Alyosha's career progression. Plus it also made sense for an experienced exchange officer like him (already a commissioned gul in the Cardassian military) to gain rank fast, as opposed to a newbie.
Glad you still liked it.
(And not a problem last night; I had figured you were on your way to bed and had planned to read it in the morning.
I don't know. I doubt any other Devidian would go for a gig like that.
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Glad you still liked it.
(And not a problem last night; I had figured you were on your way to bed and had planned to read it in the morning.
Very much so, just as per my original comment, needs more Teeglar
[QUOTE=gulberat;12247171
I don't know. I doubt any other Devidian would go for a gig like that.
This is what I wondered... I'll PM you my idea so as not to give the game away just incase ^_^
@sander233 - thanks brah...I will endeavour to give you more Sotek!
(All the chatter in previous feedback threads meant I've spent a lot of time coming up with the why of Sotek...and I know that he's not a favourite of some here because of his decidedly un-Vulcan mannerisms. To the haters...there will be a payoff. Eventually...)
Now, some reviews. As always, meant with the best intentions, please accept as constructive criticism. (For example...if I harp on about grammar/spelling, you'll think I'm a/an *insert expletive of your choice* if English isn't your first language...but...I don't know that unless you tell me!)
Yes...it can come across online like a grade school teacher with a red pen...but instead, think of me as that fellow Trekkie at a convention, and we're chatting with a frosty beverage in hand...
(Works both ways too...feel free to eviscerate my entries...it's the only way I'm gonna improve.)
(spoilers may be present...I'm kinda too lazy today to type *spoiler alert* for each and every entry!):
@burstdragon323: You could add some flavour text to flesh it out - describe where the dread was rammed, what vital system was exposed for your ship to hit, etc. Second paragraph - if having a two sentence paragraph, try to avoid having them start identically.
@bombadier22: Typo - did you mean spatial instead of spacial? Capitalize "Borg", "Queen", & "Federation". If you're going to insert an interruption to a thought/conversation, a paragraph break could more clearly define it.
@dakoton: the metaphor didn't come across as clearly as you may have intended (weapons ripped...like a tree in a relentless storm.) Do you mean a tree shredding in a storm? An uprooted tree becoming a deadly projectile?
@swat842012: 150k Borg Cubes? Uhm...a little bit on the high side. Even 150 is on the high side. Capitalization & typos need fixing. Also, a run on sentence can be difficult to read.
@maverickdude05: Questions: Were the Hirogen on the surface already present, or did the Hirogen ship beam them down when they jumped in system? Timing is confusing...7 weeks to get to a location, but only 13 hours to get back to a friendly station? During that time, did they hit any other planets, or only visit Grenthar Four? (Capitalize proper names/divisions.)
@captaink17: I liked it. Further info would flesh it out nicely...why was the cloak straining the deflector dish? (Capitalize ranks in full.)
@sharpie65: So...what classes were the ships in your task force? Some catastrophic damage...loss of a main bridge! Loss of 9 decks! C'mon...need more details!
@dariuslorelei: Nitpicking...plural of battery is batteries. "Unimatrix" instead of "Unimatris". Format errors - " ' " were replaced with "?" Capitalize 'Borg', but not 'Voyage'.
@buck311: Hook set...I'm curious about the kidnapping of one of each species. Always like when in game tech makes an appearance!
@crimpson7: Hmm...peace treaty with rogue ships? I'm confused...if they were rogue ships, why exactly would the Undine survivor be expected to have any credibility with their High Council? Casualty report was a bit of a run on sentence...and please pop in some paragraph breaks to save aging eyes!
@jonnaroslyn: Very nicely done! Sparkles...who's gonna be more excited, science or engineer types?
@icegavel: Beam through a clock without dripping? <g> Nicely done, though...love when somebody goes that extra mile to pop in the correct Borg species designator!
@rextorvan36: Good story. Aguchi is one smug *expletive of your choice*. I hope he ends up getting what he deserves...
@wraithshadow13: *Sigh*...you'd think that after all these years they'd come up with non-exploding consoles...like, future WiFi or something that a threat couldn't jam. Tribble with sharp teeth...lol. Nicely done.
@jonsils: Loved it. Question...United Earth Star Fleet? Huh?
@shevet: "Your mother was a hand bag!" ROFLOL! Simply loved it!
@aten66: I loved how you interspersed the Enterprise theme song with Gregs' thoughts. Beautiful.
@arxeblu: Couple of typo/format errors. (The dreaded "?"s popping up.) Well written, in that it irked me...no matter how much somebody *wants* to know something, sometimes they just *can't*. I understand the sacrifice that dependents go through. Appreciate them. But a dependent is *never* entitled to info they aren't privy to. Fact...if they are ever going to get the info...it is going to come from their loved one. Going to the command in an end around...well...as I said, I'm irked. And that's a sign of a great piece. (Ditto for when I hate a character on a show...it's because the actor/actress did an exceptional job of making me hate a fictional character.)
@csrr12905: Liked it. Thanks for popping in the ship classes...I like details like that. Molten Romulan Ale...hmm...how exactly does that happen? Bottle mixes with Ale & plasma to create a toxic biohazard that eats conduits?
@ironphoenix113: Sweet story...hope that the relationship lasts, and that neither of them is acting brashly.
@sander233: You killed Patrick Ngo? Remind me to pop in more and more Sotek! Loved it. You nailed 'southern' twang..."the cancer" sold it. Frank a cactus...yep...he comes across a bit prickly. *Sigh*...off to ensure there's enough toner to print that Road of yours...
@grylak: Talaina fights *dirty*. Heh...sitting aquatic animal, Gorns part chicken...some great lines...loved it! Question...it's always been voice authentication for command authorization, or retinal pattern recognition...how is the DNA sampled in your scenario? And why'd you have to go and kill a Ghostbuster? Now who you gonna call?!? <g>
@ambassadormollari: Awesome. A whole backstory, very well told. See...this is what the game should have...cluster exploration missions that, like, *explore* a different culture, not just have you scan for 5 anomalies, or 5 wrecks, or 5 whatevers...
@patrickngo: Dude...sander233 killed you! ...ok... So...who the baby daddy of Ensign Patty? Will the crew start chanting, "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry..." <g> Nits...couple of sentences start without caps, ditto 'Bajoran'. But your entry...great. Gormann is sick...please feel free *not* to further explain what happens next!
Aging eyes are starting to blur over...will pop up my 2 cents on the remaining stories when the Refresh (tm) kicks in! (Sept.03/2013@2050EST)
@marcusdkane: honest opinion first...a ship avatar takes me more to "Andromeda" then "Star Trek." Yes, Data & Voyager's EMH have made a good case for artificial & simulated life forms...and by the 25th century things may be difference. Just personal preferences...doesn't take away the enjoyment your piece brings, though. (Yes...this coming from the guy who has Vulcans throwing shakas...) Liquifying from the inside out...*shudder*. "It sounds like she disagreed with something that ate her"...007 reference? And is Child Protective Services on that planet brave enough to get involved with the Empress? <g> A'nla sh'ck program...B5 reference? Caught your zing against Apple! Question - how is Pentaxia a provisional member of the UFP when they have rather...extreme...methods of showing their displeasure with diplomatic gaffes? The ending...very chilling. Never a pleasant sensation to wake up from general anesthesia and find an unexpected scar the surgeon didn't discuss with you before the procedure...but to find claws? Ack!
@danqueller: "Please update translation protocols." Classic! Loved the story...and the thought of a Borg civil war in the Alpha Quadrant...*shudder*.
@cmdrscarlett: Beautiful. I want to hear about the other 26...
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=576231&page=6
So Iain qualified for the advanced class both because of his "recent" command experience, and because of his previous Star Fleet commission.
Yes! ^_^
At twenty fiveish, I think she's a bit too old to be calling ChildLine for help
Oh yes ^_^
Hee Hee ^_^
This is precisely why Pentaxia is still only in the provisional stages of "Paper work's signed, but you're not coming in till a few things get worked out..." The application was approved to allow Federation intervention in an assassination attempt, but there's no one on either side hurrying to get the final approval stamped
Interesting perspective, I hadn't ever thought of it that way. But. Pentaxians are supposed to have visible finger claws... Siri was previously considered an object of disgust by her people for not having them, due to her experimental/hybrid nature. By acquiring them, she is now, by their standards, completely normal ^_^
I would have just said Jesu called in a favor, but your behind-the-scenes machinations are a lot more believable.
More Reviews!
From the recent additions to LC #40:
@patrickngo - enjoyed the Passing Grades bit. I was never much of fan of Gonzo, but she's starting to grow on me.
@ambassadormolari - awesome piece there. I am really enjoying Lynathru's displays of badassery. Your tlhIngan Hol skills could use some work though - I think you described Janga as a "Sorry Leader." And since when do the Gorn have tails? Still, great fight scene.
As for this thread:
@cmdrscarlet - excellent entry. I loved the line at the end.
@gulberat - another brilliant ending to a terrific after-the-fact entry. Captain Teeglar is a very wise man.
@zindanetribal - writing letters of condolence while drinking from a stolen teacup - *shakes head in amazement* - is it just me or is Admiral Lee not quite "with it"?
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon