"During exploration of the unexplored regions many Captains have noticed that many of the recently discovered races are using the same ship designs. This has baffled many, until now. A ship has been found, abandoned, that may hold the answers to that very question"
Final Rating: 2 Stars
Synopsis: You intercept the abandoned ship and beam aboard her to begin your investigation. It's quickly revealed that the ship was sold in the Drona system, so that's your next stop.
Upon entering the Drona system you're immediately attacked by unidentified hostiles. After dispatching all of them, your scans locate a hidden base, so of course you beam down. After cutting through wave after wave of his guards the orion boss beams out at the last second. You beam back and tell your helmsman to "Follow that ship!"
He drops out of warp in another system where you quickly accertain the need to demolish 5 enemy squadrons. You then approach and board the base in this system. Again you have to cut through wave after wave of mercenaries. Right before the orion's demise, your engineer taps into the conversation with his boss.
You blow that base and head for the system where the orion's boss is. Once there you beam directly in the office of UGC Contact, who monologues briefly before two groups of her guards beam down right on top of your away team. You finish them off and then place UGC Contact under arrest.
Problems with the mission: Wait! Why am I trying to stop this again? Buying and selling starships is not against Federation law! What next? I'm sent to Risa to arrest all of the used car dealers?
I scanned the derelict ship and my science officer tells me, "According to this dozens of races have purchased ships from this base." Really? According to what?
Lots of misspellings.
Beaming two groups of enemies directly on top of the player isn't a challenge, it's "Killer GMing."
As you may have guessed, the Ferengi was named UGC Contact.
Final Thoughts: A simple story with far too much grind and an incorrect premise. Selling Starships isn't against Federation law.
Problems with the mission: So the ambassador planted a bomb in Main Engineering. See, incidents like this are exactly why you don't allow anyone except the ship's engineering crew into Main Engineering.
Then the Ambassador just hotwires a shuttlecraft and flies away! Who's in charge of security on this bucket?
OK - The idea was that the Ambassador had access to the main engineering while on a tour with the delegation. Unfortunately I can't show everyone how he sneaks away to plant a bomb somewhere at a console.
How often have we seen some villains hijack shuttlecraft? ... Let's say this is a trained operative. Do you think this makes sense at all?
There were way WAY too many enemies. He has a ton of soldiers that work for him, ok I get it. No I really don't need to fight 4 more groups of them.
And can we please stop beaming me directly into multiple closely packed groups of enemies? And stop beaming multiple closely packed groups of enemies directly around me? It's not fun. It's not a challenge. It's just annoying.
OK, that's where my creating problems lie, i think. If you beam to the planet you have two groups in the first room. Do you suggest i cut them short 1-2 men or remove the first completely?
One group in the corridor, one in the big room. Same question as before.
Next: Again one group in the corridor and the boss group. ^^ The boss group isn't supposed to beam in around you. When I set the objective to kill this group to win the mission foundry made them disappear until you hit the reach marker with the dialogue.
Final Thoughts: Best quote I've seen in a Foundry mission so far, ne of my officers says to me; "A warp core explosion would heavily damage the nearby Ponorian station." Yeah! Not to mention that it probably wouldn't be that great for my health either!
The story itself is good one. Addressing the problems, and adding a little more depth to the story, could definitely bring this up to 4 Star territory.
lol... indeed
Thanks very much for the review. I will go back and cut some of the groups short. I fear that the mission is too short. Do you think it needs another chapter or just more dialogue?
Did you find the "hidden" triggers, where you can chat with the security officer in the conference room or get some advise not do stupid stuff in engineering? I added them just for fun and for people who like to explore, they are not important parts of the story. Do you think there have to be hints for people to find them?
Some people complain about the Nausicaan groups I used. Since the enemies you're fighting are "some aliens" i could user other basic enemies. Do you have an opinion on that?
Author: Kuhr
Title: A Day For The Assassin
Project ID: ST-HNDDNZF3B
Allegiance: Starfleet
Level: 31+
This is a 2 or 3 part series. Part 1...You are ordered by Starfleet to stop and detain a Ferengi ship that is delivering Romulan Ale to different Romulan astroid colonies set up by the Federation due to the Hobus event. This ale is making many Romulans sick. Your mission is to stop the next delivery....
Look in search & make sure your setup for reviewing in order to find it.
This mission should take about half an hour to play through or a little more. Didn't want to make too long since it's my first one.
I would like you to review my mission.
Title: The Desert Voles
Author: K.Kaitan
Faction: KDF
Level: Any
I'll appreciate your constructive critique on this. It is only my 2nd Foundry made mission, and although I'm still learning the ropes in the Foundry, I do want to get better to point that my missions do feel like a Star Trek episode. I don't mind a low score, just as long as the reasons are sound, and will help me improve greatly.
Thanks a bunch and Qapla'!
OK - The idea was that the Ambassador had access to the main engineering while on a tour with the delegation. Unfortunately I can't show everyone how he sneaks away to plant a bomb somewhere at a console.
No, but what you can do is say something like; "I think that ambassador must have planted that bomb during the tour we gave them of Main Engineering yesterday." See that way you not only explain what happened, but you also explain how it makes sense, all in one quick sentence.
How often have we seen some villains hijack shuttlecraft? ... Let's say this is a trained operative. Do you think this makes sense at all?
Yeah ok, fair enough. I was going to mention the implausiblily of him taking down the security guy earlier too, since you'd mentioned it, but didn't because I remembered that he was probably a Red Shirt.
OK, that's where my creating problems lie, i think. If you beam to the planet you have two groups in the first room. Do you suggest i cut them short 1-2 men or remove the first completely?
You should never have the enemy camping the spawn point, especially not two groups at once. Remember, people aren't doing Foundry missions for the challenge, we have STFs for that. Spread them out and keep them away from the spawn points.
Thanks very much for the review. I will go back and cut some of the groups short. I fear that the mission is too short. Do you think it needs another chapter or just more dialogue?
A lot of enemies is no substitute for story. Did you ever see Kirk and Spock (or Picard and Riker) kill 20 - 50 guys in a single episode? No? Then why does it makes sense to require the player to do that in a Foundry mission?
In Star Trek almost every fight had a meaning. They attacked guys who were guarding something they needed, or to advance the plot. Even with Worf and O'Brien, you never saw them running down hallways, chewing through group after group after group of bad guys.
If removing the "wave after wave" of enemies makes your story too short then you can either go into more depth with your story or just accept that your mission is short. Short missions are ok too.
Did you find the "hidden" triggers, where you can chat with the security officer in the conference room or get some advise not do stupid stuff in engineering? I added them just for fun and for people who like to explore, they are not important parts of the story. Do you think there have to be hints for people to find them?
I don't think I found them all, no. I don't see any reason to add hints. People who like to explore will find them, people who don't care won't.
Some people complain about the Nausicaan groups I used. Since the enemies you're fighting are "some aliens" i could user other basic enemies. Do you have an opinion on that?
Yeah, when you're not set up for ground combat then Nausicaans are tough. I am so I didn't even notice they were reskinned Nausicaans until one of them did that electric wrist shackle thing on me.
Meh. At least they're not broken one-shotting Darhar Masters.
I added The Second to Last Outpost by OldLordSkull, A Day For The Assassin by Kuhr and The Desert Voles by K.Kaitan to my list. Eyes Only by Zarrax has been added to my replay list, so it will be awhile until I can get to it.
"During exploration of the unexplored regions many Captains have noticed that many of the recently discovered races are using the same ship designs. This has baffled many, until now. A ship has been found, abandoned, that may hold the answers to that very question"
Final Rating: 2 Stars
Synopsis: You intercept the abandoned ship and beam aboard her to begin your investigation. It's quickly revealed that the ship was sold in the Drona system, so that's your next stop.
Upon entering the Drona system you're immediately attacked by unidentified hostiles. After dispatching all of them, your scans locate a hidden base, so of course you beam down. After cutting through wave after wave of his guards the orion boss beams out at the last second. You beam back and tell your helmsman to "Follow that ship!"
He drops out of warp in another system where you quickly accertain the need to demolish 5 enemy squadrons. You then approach and board the base in this system. Again you have to cut through wave after wave of mercenaries. Right before the orion's demise, your engineer taps into the conversation with his boss.
You blow that base and head for the system where the orion's boss is. Once there you beam directly in the office of UGC Contact, who monologues briefly before two groups of her guards beam down right on top of your away team. You finish them off and then place UGC Contact under arrest.
Problems with the mission: Wait! Why am I trying to stop this again? Buying and selling starships is not against Federation law! What next? I'm sent to Risa to arrest all of the used car dealers?
I scanned the derelict ship and my science officer tells me, "According to this dozens of races have purchased ships from this base." Really? According to what?
Lots of misspellings.
Beaming two groups of enemies directly on top of the player isn't a challenge, it's "Killer GMing."
As you may have guessed, the Ferengi was named UGC Contact.
Final Thoughts: A simple story with far too much grind and an incorrect premise. Selling Starships isn't against Federation law.
Well I did ask for it. I think I am going to just take it down and rework the whole thing.
- I reduced the enemy groups on the ground map from 6 to 3.
- I changed the groups from Nausicaan to Mirror SF.
- I added an Epilogue chapter at the end to explain some of the plot holes.
Thanks again for the input. Feel free to try the new version and give me your comments on the changes if you find some time.
"The Otha System is technically in Klingon hands, but there are a few pockets of stubborn resistance left on Beta Otha IV."
Final Rating: 3 Stars
Synopsis: Upon orbiting Beta Otha IV you receive coordinates and beam down. Once there you're briefed on the situation and received your orders: Kill Everything.
You run around killing everything on the planet's surface. Then you hack into a console and use it to beam into the underground base. Then you run around killing everything in the base.
After shutting the dampening field down you can beam out of the base. Once back on your ship you join in the fight against the enemy fleet.
You're then offered a barrel of bloodwine and invited to a victory party.
Problems with the mission: All of the Klingon warriors on the planet were named "UGC Contact."
Eliminate Starfleet Troops (0/6) & Eliminate Base Defenders (0/6) Why do people do this? Just because we see it in exploration missions? Aren't you trying to write something better than a random exploration mission?
While I appreciate the back up, if there's a dampening field preventing me from beaming out then how did my reinforcements beam in?
Final Thoughts: I picked up "The Most Dangerous Game -- Ground" from Lieutenant B'Eta just before starting this mission, and turned it in when the mission was over. Think about that for a minute. I spent less than an hour playing this mission and I killed over 50 people.
What saved this mission from 2 Stars is that it does actually have a story, and the dialog that it does have is good. It's essentially an extended ground combat exploration mission.
"The U.S.S. Audacious disappeared near Vulcan space, leaving only a weak personal distress beacon to locate a starship torn apart by violent explosions."
Final Rating: 5 Stars
Synopsis: You enter an unimportant no-name system not far from Vulcan to search for the USS Audacious and immediately find a number of other derelict Starfleet vessels. Running a wide search pattern allows you to finally triangulate the Audacious' weak distress signal.
Passing through a small nebula brings you into contact with a pirate ship that was hiding, they attack and are quickly destroyed.
Upon finding the Audacious you see that it's a complete and total wreck. Surprisingly, considering the amount of damage, sensors pick up survivors. Interference prevents you from locking onto them, so you have to beam over to rescue them.
Once aboard you quickly discover that the computer net is down, but other systems have run amok causing the interference. While trying to locate nearby survivors you're attacked by malfunctioning security holograms, so you shut down the holographic projectors in your area. You have the survivors in this area beamed back to the ship and then your away team beams to another portion of the ship.
You get some information on what happened from this next group of survivors, and have some medical supplies that they need beamed over. You finally located the ship's chief engineer, and help her to shut down the problem systems so that all of the survivors from the secondary hull can be beamed back to your ship. Then it's time to take a shuttle craft to the ship's nearby saucer section.
Once there you try to access the computer, but it sets off a booby-trap that wrecks the shuttle and nearly kills the away team. You finally find the captain and most of her senior officers, and the ambassador they were transporting on a classified mission. He's dead and your doctor's analysis shows that he was killed before the incident that destroyed the Audacious.
Beaming back to your ship, you're attacked by a couple of pirate cruisers. You defeat them and beam the remaining survivors to safety.
Then follows the epic epilogue involving the report and the discussion with your security chief about your suspicions as to who assassinated the ambassador and then blew the ship to bits in order to cover it up. Part Two is named.
Problems with the mission: The mission door was not shown in the Mission Tracker. This right here almost cost this the mission its well deserved 5th Star. Players have to be able to find the mission door.
I realize this star system was only near the Vulcan system, but I had some trouble believing that a starship graveyard could build up that close to the center of the Federation.
Also, how do Orions keep getting this close to the core worlds of the Federation? Don't we have patrols, sensors, something? Aren't we at war with them? They don't even have cloaking devices. If they can get this close to Sol undetected then they can invade Sol and end the war. So why haven't they done so?
There was a real problem with the "search for the ambassador" objectives. I kept having to leave the area and then return in order to trigger the next pop-up. I didn't mark off for this, because I'm not sure if it was a bug.
Finally, while I don't have a problem reading, some of the pop-ups really should be consolidated. Especially the shorter ones where the captain doesn't respond.
Final Thoughts: Normally I hate the use of vision obscuring effects, but in this case the author used them sparingly, only when they made sense, and in one case to cover the movement of an NPC from one room to another. Well done.
It was a long mission that didn't feel grindy. There were a lot of pop-ups, but I didn't have to read a novel every time someone had something to say. It was also a great example of how to do a 'Part One' right. It was entirely self-contained with just one dangling string that would lead you to part two.
Despite a number of minor problems, which if solved would definitely improve this mission, the excellent story and dialog were good enough to keep it in 5 star territory anyway. It definitely felt like Trek. In fact, I've watched actual episodes of Star Trek that weren't as good as this mission.
Please add Part 1 of my new series into your mission review madness.
Much appreciated.
Spawn of Medusa
Level:Any level player (Approx 1 hour)
A new enemy, unlikely ally, and plenty of action in this start to my new series.
*Decent Ground Combat
*Decent Space Combat
*Dialogue Heavy storyline
*Fairly easy Trek trivia based puzzles for newer players
*Heavy objective interactive storyline.
"Increased pirate activity lead to a larger problem, with someone you wouldn't expect behind the trouble."
Final Rating: 4 Stars
Synopsis: You warp into the Toron system to investigate rumors of piracy and immediately encounter several destroyed freighters and an indigenous cruiser that claims that Starfleet has been attacking their ships.
After rescuing a local escort from a Terran Empire ship masquerading as a Starfleet vessel, you find out that they've kidnapped the Toron Governor.
You track them to a nearby system, where you're mistaken for your twin, and bluff your way aboard their flagship. Once there, you speak with the captain, an old adversary of your counterpart, but he refuses to turn the prisoner over to you. After speaking with a number of his officers, to ascertain their loyalty, you find one that is willing to help you, for a price. She reveals the location of the prisoner.
You're able to slip away, instead of going to your assigned quarters, and manage to free a number of prisoners, but security is tipped off and you have to run-and-gun your way to an engineering console, so that you can lower the shields and beam out.
Upon returning to your ship with the freed prisoners, the Imperial ship attacks. After destroying the ship, the governor thanks you for your help. Before you're able to leave the system however, you're contacted by your first officer, or rather his double who is transmitting from a hidden location. You're informed that your opposite isn't happy that you've ended their operations in this area, but he has chosen to thank your for eliminating his old enemy by allowing you to leave, alive.
Problems with the mission: The mission door was not listed in the Mission Tracker.
A few spelling mistakes. Such as lead instead of leads in the opening blurb.
The biggest problem was that we never did find out what the Empire was trying to accomplish.
Final Thoughts: A good, but fairly simple story, that has great dialog and makes excellent use of branching dialog. There's even a couple of minor plot twists that I didn't foresee, but actually made sense.
Ugh, it's been taking a while to rebuild my mission from Tribble. I've added a new section or two, which I was stuck on for a while on how to fit it into the story, but I think I have it figured out now (aside from a very annoying NPC/object placement issue I'm asking about in another thread).
Once I'm done with the work on the new sections of the mission, it should come along a lot faster as I can cut and paste almost all of the rest of the mission text. Hopefully I'll be able to FINALLY finish it and be able to ask if you can give it a private review (spoilers, you know) sometime soon. This thing's been taking WAY too long to finish. :mad:
The Winter of Our Discontent
ST-HLGAG8JBD
by ddommus
"A Federation world is the scene of a bloody revolt. A group of separatists will not rest until their world is free from its Federation obligations. Can you and your crew find the targets of their political upheaval, or will democracy fall on the planet Renorilliax?"
Final Rating: 4 Stars
Synopsis: After an in-depth briefing on Renorillax by the Admiral, you enter the system and slow to full impulse. After beaming down to the safe house in the Nera'ver'antis Highlands you speak to your contact who arranges to get your away team into the capital city unnoticed.
There's a problem along the way and you're ambushed, but you make it to your awaiting contact in the capital who fills you in on the latest details of the situation.
You make contact with a group of loyalists, rescue a member of parliament, and interrogate a rebel prisoner. He explains Starfleet's involvement in the rebellion. You find out where the Prime Minister is hiding and you're off to rescue her.
You have to make your way through the rebel occupied city to the Prime Minister's hiding place, which presents you with the opportunity to engage in as much or as little ground combat as you wish.
You free the Prime Minister, but she refuses to leave her people during this crisis. A short speech on the history of Renorilliax makes it clear why. Since you can't just beam her out, you arrange a meeting with the rebel leaders.
While speaking with the rebel leaders they begin quarreling over certain details. The situation is resolved and you accept the rebel's surrender.
After beaming back to up to your ship, you engage rebel warships and rescue some captured Starfleet personnel. The Admiral finally arrives and is quite pleased to see that you were able to resolve the situation without backup.
Problems with the mission: The player really should have had more involvement in the discussion that led to the rebel's surrender. My captain ended up feeling like a bystander instead of the hero who ended the rebellion.
In a lot of places I felt less like the mover-and-shaker and more like someone who was simply along for the ride.
Final Thoughts: The author did an excellent job of taking the flaws in the current political situation in Star Trek Online and using them to explain the antagonists' actions in a way that was entirely realistic.
When I found out that I had to cross the rebel occupied city my first thought was; "Ok, here comes the 'Kill (0/5)' part." I was pleasantly surprised that that was not the case. I saw plenty of soldiers, and could have done a lot of ground fighting if I'd wanted to. I chose to sneak through the city and avoid the patrols. It was nice to have the choice, and frankly was a lot more 'Trek' than chewing through waves of enemies.
It's an excellent story with great dialog. The problems noted above should be fixable with some rewording of the player's responses, and were the only reason that this mission didn't get 5 stars.
Hello Peregrine_Falcon, when you get a chance, could you please review my mission,
Shadow War - Mist in the Night
It's a Starfleet mission, and it's my first foray into the Foundry. I intend for it to become a series, but I want more feedback before I continue. Just search for my username to find it easily.
KCM - Trouble at Starbase A14
ST-HS)DM78G4
by Kirkalus
"We have received a distress signal from Starbase Alpha 14 - Lateri System Beta Ursae Sector."
Final Rating: 1 Star
Synopsis: After beaming to DS9 and speaking with Admiral Marconi, all he can tell you is that they've received a distress call from Starbase A14 in the Lateri system. I guess he couldn't have mentioned that over subspace.
You warp into the Lateri system and, after the starbase doesn't respond to hails, you realize that you have to destroy 3 groups of Jem'Hadar ships.
Upon beaming aboard the station UCG Contact informs you that that Jem'Hadar are running around causing problems. Time to kill another Jem'Hadar (0/3). Then you take the turbo lift to the second floor.
Once there you have to kill more Jem'Hadar (0/5), and then run around lowering a bunch of foece fileds and then take the turbo lift to the third floor. Once there you have to run around clicking on fires to put them out (0/4). Then again, and again and again. Then you meet UGC Contact, the station's commander, who informs you that the Jem'Hadar seem to be after an unknown 'create.' More Jem'Hadar beam in. After killing them you have to take the turbo lift back to the first floor.
After killing another (0/5) you take the turbo lift to the ground floor where UGC Contact salutes you and gives you hearty "Job well dun".
Upon beaming back to your ship you have to kill more Jem'Hadar ships (0/4) and then another (0/4). Afterward, you contact the admiral who is going to investigate why the Jem'Hadar would attack Starbase A14 and wonders "what was in that create"?
Problems with the mission: The mission door was not shown in the Mission Tracker, instead I was urged to "locte Admiral Marconi."
A great number of misspellings throughout the entire mission, e.g.; the blurb page it's Admiral not Admaril. Also, neither capitalizing the first word of a sentence, nor punctuation at the end of one, is optional.
Final Thoughts: A number of branching dialog and effects show that the author knows how to use the Foundry tools quite well, but this mission was nothing but a kill-fest and a click-fest with no plot and no story. It was just a bunch of "Kill (0/3)" and then a couple of "Kill (0/5)" and then some more "Kill (0/4)". With no explanation as to why.
Two Cloaks, One Dagger
ST-HDPI3P509
by RogueEnterprise
"Fleet Admiral B'helat is requesting your presence in this system to discuss new intelligence in the war against the Klingons that can't be discussed over an open subspace channel."
Final Rating: 4 Stars
Synopsis: You warp in just in time to save the admiral's battle group from destruction. Then you beam over to help repel boarders and regain control of his damaged flagship.
He briefs you on the real reason that he called you in and, after stopping another group of attackers, you go to warp briefly to the target location.
After beaming down to the base you encounter minimal resistance while searching for evidence of the base personnel's activities. After hacking into a database, a containment field drops and you realize that this whole thing was a trap. The trapper then appears and explains that the trap wasn't for you. That's when the Undine infiltrator is revealed.
You manage to escape from the containment field and beam back to your ship right before the infiltrator's ship destroys the base. Once there, you have to fight off attacking Undine ships while the infiltrator escapes.
Afterward, you find the where the infiltrator's ship is hiding, along with more Undine ships that are trying to help him escape. After destroying them, you beam a tactical team aboard the infiltrator's ship and capture him.
Problems with the mission: My captain should have responded to the hologram to at least attempt to divert suspicion.
"Wait... you can't do this! You Undine scoundrel!" Grandpa? Is that you? - Ok, that wasn't really a problem, but it does seem a bit out of place.
Final Thoughts: Good story and dialog, with some good use of of branching dialog as well.
I liked that my captain had another away team beam aboard the infiltrator's ship to capture him. And I especially liked the difficult choice presented at the end.
To Free or Not to Free
ST-HUE23HEMP
by Capt.PFDennis
"Starfleet would like you to oversee delivery of a new "Peacemaker" weapon to the Sol System."
Final Rating: 5 Stars
Synopsis: Upon beaming down to Memory Alpha, you receive your classified orders and the location of the weapons research laboratory. Once your ship arrives in system, you make contact with station security and, after transmitting your authorization code, are allowed to beam aboard the station.
Once there, Doctor Kirakis and his paranoid chief of security brief you at length on the situation. Some of your senior officers express their concerns about what you've been told as you walk to Dr. Bannix's laboratory. He explains how the transfer will have to take place and then you head to the main laboratory to speak with Dr. Gallar.
After speaking with his assistant, and going through decon, you're allowed into the clean room to speak with Dr. Gallar. He seems a bit strange, even for a liberated drone, but then you all beam back to the ship.
Your ship takes point, while the science ships tow the weapon and cloak the whole thing. You warp to a nearby transwarp conduit to speed the trip back to Earth. Before entry, the doctor takes a shuttle out to examine the weapon, to ensure that it remains capable of transwarp travel.
Borg ships warp in, announce that they're here to reclaim their lost drone, and attack. After the fight, you lower the shields that you've been holding on the shuttle, to prevent Dr. Gallar from contacting the Borg, in order to beam him back to your ship, but he blocks that and beams over to the borg ship.
You quickly beam over and begin searching for him. The borg ship is damaged and many of the borg ignore you while you hack into various consoles. After fighting a couple of drones that are active, you finally locate him and head for his location. Commander Alban's team beams over and joins you in fighting against the borg while you confront Gallar. After taking care of him you confront the dying queen, it seems that Gallar made a fatal mistake, and you have to beam out before the borg ship is destroyed.
The science vessels warp out, taking the doctors back to their laboratory. But before you can leave the system more Borg ships attack, and the weapon is destroyed in the crossfire.
Problems with the mission: Dr. Bannix seems to have an aversion to auxiliary verbs; "I so relieved that Starfleet sent us a military vessel." A couple of other misspellings, quenn instead of queen.
By the time I had to try the fourth console it was starting to seem like they were put in just to make the mission longer. The same thing could have been accomplished with 3 or even 2 consoles.
Possible plot hole: why was the borg ship damaged before Dr. Gallar beamed over to it?
Final Thoughts: This is a involved story, with great interaction between the captain and bridge officers, and scientists who are engaged in some questionable research.
The story definitely has a theme, perhaps even a moral, and while it may be just a tad bit heavy-handed for some, I think that most Trekkies will agree with it and enjoy the story all the more for it.
Awesome, PF. Thanks for the review! It's a great opportunity to get very specific feedback instead of simply a star rating from most mission players.
"Scoundrel"..... heh, I actually originally used the "b" word (The second half of that movie, Inglourious _____ ) but the profanity filter caught it and I couldn't think of a better replacement. Perhaps, "scum"?
Responding to the hologram... hmmm I've been getting intermittent feedback about that particular conversation. Should it simply be extended with more interaction perhaps?
Anyway, this mission was my first foundry foray, so if anything pops into your head about actual Foundry mechanics I could have used differently or better I'm definitely all ears.
Thanks again for the review, I'm glad you liked it. I 'v been thinking of ways to make the Captain a more heroic figure, and will at least rework the dialogue during the final confrontation so you feel more involved in the story.
PF is going soft on us. There are now two 5 star reviews within 2 pages of this thread! What's the deal? Missions getting better or have you lowered your standards? I request a review for Star Trek V... it's the only way we'll know if you're still on the up and up.
Congrats AgentYae (Audacious Aground) and Capt.PFDennis (To Free or Not to Free).
PF, are you taking any more requests at this time? If so let me know.
I am indeed. Says so right in the OP.
In fact, my primary review list is getting a little short. I may finally be able to start on my secondary list (second missions for the same author) pretty soon.
Comments
Ship Happens
ST-HM8MXHWPJ
by SupremeLegate
"During exploration of the unexplored regions many Captains have noticed that many of the recently discovered races are using the same ship designs. This has baffled many, until now. A ship has been found, abandoned, that may hold the answers to that very question"
Final Rating: 2 Stars
Synopsis: You intercept the abandoned ship and beam aboard her to begin your investigation. It's quickly revealed that the ship was sold in the Drona system, so that's your next stop.
Upon entering the Drona system you're immediately attacked by unidentified hostiles. After dispatching all of them, your scans locate a hidden base, so of course you beam down. After cutting through wave after wave of his guards the orion boss beams out at the last second. You beam back and tell your helmsman to "Follow that ship!"
He drops out of warp in another system where you quickly accertain the need to demolish 5 enemy squadrons. You then approach and board the base in this system. Again you have to cut through wave after wave of mercenaries. Right before the orion's demise, your engineer taps into the conversation with his boss.
You blow that base and head for the system where the orion's boss is. Once there you beam directly in the office of UGC Contact, who monologues briefly before two groups of her guards beam down right on top of your away team. You finish them off and then place UGC Contact under arrest.
Problems with the mission: Wait! Why am I trying to stop this again? Buying and selling starships is not against Federation law! What next? I'm sent to Risa to arrest all of the used car dealers?
I scanned the derelict ship and my science officer tells me, "According to this dozens of races have purchased ships from this base." Really? According to what?
Lots of misspellings.
Beaming two groups of enemies directly on top of the player isn't a challenge, it's "Killer GMing."
As you may have guessed, the Ferengi was named UGC Contact.
Final Thoughts: A simple story with far too much grind and an incorrect premise. Selling Starships isn't against Federation law.
I added Memory Lane to my review list Bazag.
OK - The idea was that the Ambassador had access to the main engineering while on a tour with the delegation. Unfortunately I can't show everyone how he sneaks away to plant a bomb somewhere at a console.
How often have we seen some villains hijack shuttlecraft? ... Let's say this is a trained operative. Do you think this makes sense at all?
OK, that's where my creating problems lie, i think. If you beam to the planet you have two groups in the first room. Do you suggest i cut them short 1-2 men or remove the first completely?
One group in the corridor, one in the big room. Same question as before.
Next: Again one group in the corridor and the boss group. ^^ The boss group isn't supposed to beam in around you. When I set the objective to kill this group to win the mission foundry made them disappear until you hit the reach marker with the dialogue.
lol... indeed
Thanks very much for the review. I will go back and cut some of the groups short. I fear that the mission is too short. Do you think it needs another chapter or just more dialogue?
Did you find the "hidden" triggers, where you can chat with the security officer in the conference room or get some advise not do stupid stuff in engineering? I added them just for fun and for people who like to explore, they are not important parts of the story. Do you think there have to be hints for people to find them?
Some people complain about the Nausicaan groups I used. Since the enemies you're fighting are "some aliens" i could user other basic enemies. Do you have an opinion on that?
Enough for now
PF
"The Second to Last Outpost"
Project ID: ST-HTY7R9LA2
Federation
Level 35+
Duration: Approx. 2.5 hours
It's a long one, with lots of dialog.
If you are able to add it to the list, great! If not, I'll catch you eventually to give it a run.
thanks
Title: A Day For The Assassin
Project ID: ST-HNDDNZF3B
Allegiance: Starfleet
Level: 31+
This is a 2 or 3 part series. Part 1...You are ordered by Starfleet to stop and detain a Ferengi ship that is delivering Romulan Ale to different Romulan astroid colonies set up by the Federation due to the Hobus event. This ale is making many Romulans sick. Your mission is to stop the next delivery....
Look in search & make sure your setup for reviewing in order to find it.
This mission should take about half an hour to play through or a little more. Didn't want to make too long since it's my first one.
I would like you to review my mission.
Title: The Desert Voles
Author: K.Kaitan
Faction: KDF
Level: Any
I'll appreciate your constructive critique on this. It is only my 2nd Foundry made mission, and although I'm still learning the ropes in the Foundry, I do want to get better to point that my missions do feel like a Star Trek episode. I don't mind a low score, just as long as the reasons are sound, and will help me improve greatly.
Thanks a bunch and Qapla'!
Yeah ok, fair enough. I was going to mention the implausiblily of him taking down the security guy earlier too, since you'd mentioned it, but didn't because I remembered that he was probably a Red Shirt.
You should never have the enemy camping the spawn point, especially not two groups at once. Remember, people aren't doing Foundry missions for the challenge, we have STFs for that. Spread them out and keep them away from the spawn points.
A lot of enemies is no substitute for story. Did you ever see Kirk and Spock (or Picard and Riker) kill 20 - 50 guys in a single episode? No? Then why does it makes sense to require the player to do that in a Foundry mission?
In Star Trek almost every fight had a meaning. They attacked guys who were guarding something they needed, or to advance the plot. Even with Worf and O'Brien, you never saw them running down hallways, chewing through group after group after group of bad guys.
If removing the "wave after wave" of enemies makes your story too short then you can either go into more depth with your story or just accept that your mission is short. Short missions are ok too.
I don't think I found them all, no. I don't see any reason to add hints. People who like to explore will find them, people who don't care won't.
Yeah, when you're not set up for ground combat then Nausicaans are tough. I am so I didn't even notice they were reskinned Nausicaans until one of them did that electric wrist shackle thing on me.
Meh. At least they're not broken one-shotting Darhar Masters.
I added The Second to Last Outpost by OldLordSkull, A Day For The Assassin by Kuhr and The Desert Voles by K.Kaitan to my list. Eyes Only by Zarrax has been added to my replay list, so it will be awhile until I can get to it.
"Spy Games"
and
"Playing Vulcan"
Thanks
Well I did ask for it. I think I am going to just take it down and rework the whole thing.
Bad Blood
ST-HCAYTIUVT
- I reduced the enemy groups on the ground map from 6 to 3.
- I changed the groups from Nausicaan to Mirror SF.
- I added an Epilogue chapter at the end to explain some of the plot holes.
Thanks again for the input. Feel free to try the new version and give me your comments on the changes if you find some time.
PF
The Desert Voles
ST-HRC6NNED4
by K.Kaitan
"The Otha System is technically in Klingon hands, but there are a few pockets of stubborn resistance left on Beta Otha IV."
Final Rating: 3 Stars
Synopsis: Upon orbiting Beta Otha IV you receive coordinates and beam down. Once there you're briefed on the situation and received your orders: Kill Everything.
You run around killing everything on the planet's surface. Then you hack into a console and use it to beam into the underground base. Then you run around killing everything in the base.
After shutting the dampening field down you can beam out of the base. Once back on your ship you join in the fight against the enemy fleet.
You're then offered a barrel of bloodwine and invited to a victory party.
Problems with the mission: All of the Klingon warriors on the planet were named "UGC Contact."
Eliminate Starfleet Troops (0/6) & Eliminate Base Defenders (0/6) Why do people do this? Just because we see it in exploration missions? Aren't you trying to write something better than a random exploration mission?
While I appreciate the back up, if there's a dampening field preventing me from beaming out then how did my reinforcements beam in?
Final Thoughts: I picked up "The Most Dangerous Game -- Ground" from Lieutenant B'Eta just before starting this mission, and turned it in when the mission was over. Think about that for a minute. I spent less than an hour playing this mission and I killed over 50 people.
What saved this mission from 2 Stars is that it does actually have a story, and the dialog that it does have is good. It's essentially an extended ground combat exploration mission.
Audacious Aground
ST-HNLUUZJBT
by AgentYae
"The U.S.S. Audacious disappeared near Vulcan space, leaving only a weak personal distress beacon to locate a starship torn apart by violent explosions."
Final Rating: 5 Stars
Synopsis: You enter an unimportant no-name system not far from Vulcan to search for the USS Audacious and immediately find a number of other derelict Starfleet vessels. Running a wide search pattern allows you to finally triangulate the Audacious' weak distress signal.
Passing through a small nebula brings you into contact with a pirate ship that was hiding, they attack and are quickly destroyed.
Upon finding the Audacious you see that it's a complete and total wreck. Surprisingly, considering the amount of damage, sensors pick up survivors. Interference prevents you from locking onto them, so you have to beam over to rescue them.
Once aboard you quickly discover that the computer net is down, but other systems have run amok causing the interference. While trying to locate nearby survivors you're attacked by malfunctioning security holograms, so you shut down the holographic projectors in your area. You have the survivors in this area beamed back to the ship and then your away team beams to another portion of the ship.
You get some information on what happened from this next group of survivors, and have some medical supplies that they need beamed over. You finally located the ship's chief engineer, and help her to shut down the problem systems so that all of the survivors from the secondary hull can be beamed back to your ship. Then it's time to take a shuttle craft to the ship's nearby saucer section.
Once there you try to access the computer, but it sets off a booby-trap that wrecks the shuttle and nearly kills the away team. You finally find the captain and most of her senior officers, and the ambassador they were transporting on a classified mission. He's dead and your doctor's analysis shows that he was killed before the incident that destroyed the Audacious.
Beaming back to your ship, you're attacked by a couple of pirate cruisers. You defeat them and beam the remaining survivors to safety.
Then follows the epic epilogue involving the report and the discussion with your security chief about your suspicions as to who assassinated the ambassador and then blew the ship to bits in order to cover it up. Part Two is named.
Problems with the mission: The mission door was not shown in the Mission Tracker. This right here almost cost this the mission its well deserved 5th Star. Players have to be able to find the mission door.
I realize this star system was only near the Vulcan system, but I had some trouble believing that a starship graveyard could build up that close to the center of the Federation.
Also, how do Orions keep getting this close to the core worlds of the Federation? Don't we have patrols, sensors, something? Aren't we at war with them? They don't even have cloaking devices. If they can get this close to Sol undetected then they can invade Sol and end the war. So why haven't they done so?
There was a real problem with the "search for the ambassador" objectives. I kept having to leave the area and then return in order to trigger the next pop-up. I didn't mark off for this, because I'm not sure if it was a bug.
Finally, while I don't have a problem reading, some of the pop-ups really should be consolidated. Especially the shorter ones where the captain doesn't respond.
Final Thoughts: Normally I hate the use of vision obscuring effects, but in this case the author used them sparingly, only when they made sense, and in one case to cover the movement of an NPC from one room to another. Well done.
It was a long mission that didn't feel grindy. There were a lot of pop-ups, but I didn't have to read a novel every time someone had something to say. It was also a great example of how to do a 'Part One' right. It was entirely self-contained with just one dangling string that would lead you to part two.
Despite a number of minor problems, which if solved would definitely improve this mission, the excellent story and dialog were good enough to keep it in 5 star territory anyway. It definitely felt like Trek. In fact, I've watched actual episodes of Star Trek that weren't as good as this mission.
Please add Part 1 of my new series into your mission review madness.
Much appreciated.
Spawn of Medusa
Level: Any level player (Approx 1 hour)
A new enemy, unlikely ally, and plenty of action in this start to my new series.
*Decent Ground Combat
*Decent Space Combat
*Dialogue Heavy storyline
*Fairly easy Trek trivia based puzzles for newer players
*Heavy objective interactive storyline.
Thanks.
Reflections
ST-HKKL5ZAH5
by Salok
"Increased pirate activity lead to a larger problem, with someone you wouldn't expect behind the trouble."
Final Rating: 4 Stars
Synopsis: You warp into the Toron system to investigate rumors of piracy and immediately encounter several destroyed freighters and an indigenous cruiser that claims that Starfleet has been attacking their ships.
After rescuing a local escort from a Terran Empire ship masquerading as a Starfleet vessel, you find out that they've kidnapped the Toron Governor.
You track them to a nearby system, where you're mistaken for your twin, and bluff your way aboard their flagship. Once there, you speak with the captain, an old adversary of your counterpart, but he refuses to turn the prisoner over to you. After speaking with a number of his officers, to ascertain their loyalty, you find one that is willing to help you, for a price. She reveals the location of the prisoner.
You're able to slip away, instead of going to your assigned quarters, and manage to free a number of prisoners, but security is tipped off and you have to run-and-gun your way to an engineering console, so that you can lower the shields and beam out.
Upon returning to your ship with the freed prisoners, the Imperial ship attacks. After destroying the ship, the governor thanks you for your help. Before you're able to leave the system however, you're contacted by your first officer, or rather his double who is transmitting from a hidden location. You're informed that your opposite isn't happy that you've ended their operations in this area, but he has chosen to thank your for eliminating his old enemy by allowing you to leave, alive.
Problems with the mission: The mission door was not listed in the Mission Tracker.
A few spelling mistakes. Such as lead instead of leads in the opening blurb.
The biggest problem was that we never did find out what the Empire was trying to accomplish.
Final Thoughts: A good, but fairly simple story, that has great dialog and makes excellent use of branching dialog. There's even a couple of minor plot twists that I didn't foresee, but actually made sense.
"Give Peace a Chance" = part 1
"Gave Peace a Chance" = part 2
level 41+ search "futurecaptain" to find them both easily.
Thanks and I look forward to your feedback.
Thanks!
Once I'm done with the work on the new sections of the mission, it should come along a lot faster as I can cut and paste almost all of the rest of the mission text. Hopefully I'll be able to FINALLY finish it and be able to ask if you can give it a private review (spoilers, you know) sometime soon. This thing's been taking WAY too long to finish. :mad:
The Winter of Our Discontent
ST-HLGAG8JBD
by ddommus
"A Federation world is the scene of a bloody revolt. A group of separatists will not rest until their world is free from its Federation obligations. Can you and your crew find the targets of their political upheaval, or will democracy fall on the planet Renorilliax?"
Final Rating: 4 Stars
Synopsis: After an in-depth briefing on Renorillax by the Admiral, you enter the system and slow to full impulse. After beaming down to the safe house in the Nera'ver'antis Highlands you speak to your contact who arranges to get your away team into the capital city unnoticed.
There's a problem along the way and you're ambushed, but you make it to your awaiting contact in the capital who fills you in on the latest details of the situation.
You make contact with a group of loyalists, rescue a member of parliament, and interrogate a rebel prisoner. He explains Starfleet's involvement in the rebellion. You find out where the Prime Minister is hiding and you're off to rescue her.
You have to make your way through the rebel occupied city to the Prime Minister's hiding place, which presents you with the opportunity to engage in as much or as little ground combat as you wish.
You free the Prime Minister, but she refuses to leave her people during this crisis. A short speech on the history of Renorilliax makes it clear why. Since you can't just beam her out, you arrange a meeting with the rebel leaders.
While speaking with the rebel leaders they begin quarreling over certain details. The situation is resolved and you accept the rebel's surrender.
After beaming back to up to your ship, you engage rebel warships and rescue some captured Starfleet personnel. The Admiral finally arrives and is quite pleased to see that you were able to resolve the situation without backup.
Problems with the mission: The player really should have had more involvement in the discussion that led to the rebel's surrender. My captain ended up feeling like a bystander instead of the hero who ended the rebellion.
In a lot of places I felt less like the mover-and-shaker and more like someone who was simply along for the ride.
Final Thoughts: The author did an excellent job of taking the flaws in the current political situation in Star Trek Online and using them to explain the antagonists' actions in a way that was entirely realistic.
When I found out that I had to cross the rebel occupied city my first thought was; "Ok, here comes the 'Kill (0/5)' part." I was pleasantly surprised that that was not the case. I saw plenty of soldiers, and could have done a lot of ground fighting if I'd wanted to. I chose to sneak through the city and avoid the patrols. It was nice to have the choice, and frankly was a lot more 'Trek' than chewing through waves of enemies.
It's an excellent story with great dialog. The problems noted above should be fixable with some rewording of the player's responses, and were the only reason that this mission didn't get 5 stars.
Shadow War - Mist in the Night
It's a Starfleet mission, and it's my first foray into the Foundry. I intend for it to become a series, but I want more feedback before I continue. Just search for my username to find it easily.
Thanks,
MrCC3000
KCM - Trouble at Starbase A14
ST-HS)DM78G4
by Kirkalus
"We have received a distress signal from Starbase Alpha 14 - Lateri System Beta Ursae Sector."
Final Rating: 1 Star
Synopsis: After beaming to DS9 and speaking with Admiral Marconi, all he can tell you is that they've received a distress call from Starbase A14 in the Lateri system. I guess he couldn't have mentioned that over subspace.
You warp into the Lateri system and, after the starbase doesn't respond to hails, you realize that you have to destroy 3 groups of Jem'Hadar ships.
Upon beaming aboard the station UCG Contact informs you that that Jem'Hadar are running around causing problems. Time to kill another Jem'Hadar (0/3). Then you take the turbo lift to the second floor.
Once there you have to kill more Jem'Hadar (0/5), and then run around lowering a bunch of foece fileds and then take the turbo lift to the third floor. Once there you have to run around clicking on fires to put them out (0/4). Then again, and again and again. Then you meet UGC Contact, the station's commander, who informs you that the Jem'Hadar seem to be after an unknown 'create.' More Jem'Hadar beam in. After killing them you have to take the turbo lift back to the first floor.
After killing another (0/5) you take the turbo lift to the ground floor where UGC Contact salutes you and gives you hearty "Job well dun".
Upon beaming back to your ship you have to kill more Jem'Hadar ships (0/4) and then another (0/4). Afterward, you contact the admiral who is going to investigate why the Jem'Hadar would attack Starbase A14 and wonders "what was in that create"?
Problems with the mission: The mission door was not shown in the Mission Tracker, instead I was urged to "locte Admiral Marconi."
A great number of misspellings throughout the entire mission, e.g.; the blurb page it's Admiral not Admaril. Also, neither capitalizing the first word of a sentence, nor punctuation at the end of one, is optional.
Final Thoughts: A number of branching dialog and effects show that the author knows how to use the Foundry tools quite well, but this mission was nothing but a kill-fest and a click-fest with no plot and no story. It was just a bunch of "Kill (0/3)" and then a couple of "Kill (0/5)" and then some more "Kill (0/4)". With no explanation as to why.
Two Cloaks, One Dagger
ST-HDPI3P509
by RogueEnterprise
"Fleet Admiral B'helat is requesting your presence in this system to discuss new intelligence in the war against the Klingons that can't be discussed over an open subspace channel."
Final Rating: 4 Stars
Synopsis: You warp in just in time to save the admiral's battle group from destruction. Then you beam over to help repel boarders and regain control of his damaged flagship.
He briefs you on the real reason that he called you in and, after stopping another group of attackers, you go to warp briefly to the target location.
After beaming down to the base you encounter minimal resistance while searching for evidence of the base personnel's activities. After hacking into a database, a containment field drops and you realize that this whole thing was a trap. The trapper then appears and explains that the trap wasn't for you. That's when the Undine infiltrator is revealed.
You manage to escape from the containment field and beam back to your ship right before the infiltrator's ship destroys the base. Once there, you have to fight off attacking Undine ships while the infiltrator escapes.
Afterward, you find the where the infiltrator's ship is hiding, along with more Undine ships that are trying to help him escape. After destroying them, you beam a tactical team aboard the infiltrator's ship and capture him.
Problems with the mission: My captain should have responded to the hologram to at least attempt to divert suspicion.
"Wait... you can't do this! You Undine scoundrel!" Grandpa? Is that you? - Ok, that wasn't really a problem, but it does seem a bit out of place.
Final Thoughts: Good story and dialog, with some good use of of branching dialog as well.
I liked that my captain had another away team beam aboard the infiltrator's ship to capture him. And I especially liked the difficult choice presented at the end.
To Free or Not to Free
ST-HUE23HEMP
by Capt.PFDennis
"Starfleet would like you to oversee delivery of a new "Peacemaker" weapon to the Sol System."
Final Rating: 5 Stars
Synopsis: Upon beaming down to Memory Alpha, you receive your classified orders and the location of the weapons research laboratory. Once your ship arrives in system, you make contact with station security and, after transmitting your authorization code, are allowed to beam aboard the station.
Once there, Doctor Kirakis and his paranoid chief of security brief you at length on the situation. Some of your senior officers express their concerns about what you've been told as you walk to Dr. Bannix's laboratory. He explains how the transfer will have to take place and then you head to the main laboratory to speak with Dr. Gallar.
After speaking with his assistant, and going through decon, you're allowed into the clean room to speak with Dr. Gallar. He seems a bit strange, even for a liberated drone, but then you all beam back to the ship.
Your ship takes point, while the science ships tow the weapon and cloak the whole thing. You warp to a nearby transwarp conduit to speed the trip back to Earth. Before entry, the doctor takes a shuttle out to examine the weapon, to ensure that it remains capable of transwarp travel.
Borg ships warp in, announce that they're here to reclaim their lost drone, and attack. After the fight, you lower the shields that you've been holding on the shuttle, to prevent Dr. Gallar from contacting the Borg, in order to beam him back to your ship, but he blocks that and beams over to the borg ship.
You quickly beam over and begin searching for him. The borg ship is damaged and many of the borg ignore you while you hack into various consoles. After fighting a couple of drones that are active, you finally locate him and head for his location. Commander Alban's team beams over and joins you in fighting against the borg while you confront Gallar. After taking care of him you confront the dying queen, it seems that Gallar made a fatal mistake, and you have to beam out before the borg ship is destroyed.
The science vessels warp out, taking the doctors back to their laboratory. But before you can leave the system more Borg ships attack, and the weapon is destroyed in the crossfire.
Problems with the mission: Dr. Bannix seems to have an aversion to auxiliary verbs; "I so relieved that Starfleet sent us a military vessel." A couple of other misspellings, quenn instead of queen.
By the time I had to try the fourth console it was starting to seem like they were put in just to make the mission longer. The same thing could have been accomplished with 3 or even 2 consoles.
Possible plot hole: why was the borg ship damaged before Dr. Gallar beamed over to it?
Final Thoughts: This is a involved story, with great interaction between the captain and bridge officers, and scientists who are engaged in some questionable research.
The story definitely has a theme, perhaps even a moral, and while it may be just a tad bit heavy-handed for some, I think that most Trekkies will agree with it and enjoy the story all the more for it.
"Scoundrel"..... heh, I actually originally used the "b" word (The second half of that movie, Inglourious _____ ) but the profanity filter caught it and I couldn't think of a better replacement. Perhaps, "scum"?
Responding to the hologram... hmmm I've been getting intermittent feedback about that particular conversation. Should it simply be extended with more interaction perhaps?
Anyway, this mission was my first foundry foray, so if anything pops into your head about actual Foundry mechanics I could have used differently or better I'm definitely all ears.
Congrats AgentYae (Audacious Aground) and Capt.PFDennis (To Free or Not to Free).
Yeah! What's up with that? I'm gonna have to start cracking down!
Seriously though, the missions that came up on my list were just really good ones.
I am indeed. Says so right in the OP.
In fact, my primary review list is getting a little short. I may finally be able to start on my secondary list (second missions for the same author) pretty soon.