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Peregrine Falcon's May Mission Review Madness!

SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,019 Arc User
Welcome to my Foundry mission reviews for the month of May.

I AM NO LONGER ACCEPTING REVIEW REQUESTS.

I only review missions that are on Holodeck, and only by request of the author. The review request must contain: the name of the mission, whether Starfleet or KDF, the minimum level requirement (if any), and can be made by PM or a post in this thread. Reviews will be done on a first come / first served basis, but KDF mission requests will take precedence since I receive so few of them.

I am reviewing stories. If your mission is incomplete, has little or no story, or is nothing but a combat grind-fest, you're going to get a low rating from me.


The Official Falcon Rating System

5 Stars = Citizen Kane with Phasers.
4 Stars = As good or better as the best Dev written missions.
3 Stars = Good. Of equal quality to most of the in-game content.
2 Stars = Borg archaeologists looking for artifacts of their Third Dynasty.
1 Star = Highlander 2 with Phasers.


And, just in case it comes up during the discussion, The Foundry - End User License Agreement

My first mission review thread, with the reviews that I did between March 29th and April 25th, 2011, is here
Post edited by Unknown User on
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  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    May Mission Reviews:


    51 - Peace at Last? 4 Stars
    52 - Sha Ka Ree and Gre'thor 2 Stars
    53 - Into The Lions Den 3 Stars
    54 - Murder On The Homefront 3 Stars
    55 - Eyes Only 2 Stars
    56 - Hold the Line 4 Stars
    57 - Mirror Images 3 Stars
    58 - Old Friends in Need 3 Stars
    59 - Prototype 3 Stars
    60 - Bad Blood 3 Stars
    61 - Ship Happens 2 Stars
    62 - The Desert Voles 3 Stars
    63 - Audacious Aground 5 Stars
    64 - Reflections 4 Stars
    65 - The Winter of Our Discontent 4 Stars
    66 - KCM - Trouble at Starbase A14 1 Star
    67 - Two Cloaks, One Dagger 4 Stars
    68 - To Free or Not to Free 5 Stars
    69 - Unholy Alliances II 3 Stars
    70 - Photonen im Eis 4 Stars
    71 - Personal Reflection 4 Stars
    72 - Fek'Ihri Attack 1 Star
    73 - Rescue the S.S. Escargot 2 Stars
    74 - White Malice 3 Stars
    75 - Memory Lane 4 Stars
    76 - The Second To Last Outpost 2 Stars
    77 - A Day For The Assassin 1 Star
    78 - Shadow War - Mist in the Night 3 Stars
    79 - Franklin Drake Must Die 4 Stars
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET Level 35+

    Peace at Last?
    ST-HGJ4ZD3IU
    by neotom52345

    "The end of the war between the Federation and the Klingons may be in sight. The Deferi have agreed to host a conference between the two warring factions. However, tensions are running high, and one faction may not be so keen about this peace conference...."

    Final Rating: 4 Stars

    Synopsis:
    You're tasked to run security for a diplomatic conference at Defera. After being briefed on the situation by the Federation ambassador, you beam down to the conference room.

    Once there you speak with the Deferi that's running the conference and then you have an opportunity to actually go around and set up security details. When you're ready the ambassadors from both sides beam down.

    Before the negotiations really start, your ship calls, a Breen fleet is attacking. Your team, along with security personnel from your ship, fight off Breen soldiers. Then you're tasked to get to the Federation Ambassador's shuttle to retrieve classified documents. Exiting the building, you assist the Klingon security troops in fighting more Breen attackers, and make your way to the ambassador's shuttle.

    The shuttle explodes and you're unable to locate the documents in the wreckage, so you beam up to your ship and help the fleet fight off the rest of the Breen fleet.

    Problems with the mission: A couple of typos. Such as, after speaking with the ambassadors "receiving and incoming" should be "receiving an incoming."

    There were a few problems that I did not mark down for, as they may be bugs or things beyond the author's control:

    When calling in security, the beam in FX didn't happen with the two groups in the room.
    When speaking to the ambassadors I typed in the air and made computer bleeps.
    Was a Devidian supposed to beam in with the Breen? A bug perhaps?
    It was odd that the two UGC contacts typing at the center consoles ignored the battle and just kept typing. I guess they had a deadline.
    When I went to scan the wreckage of the shuttle the interact bar said; "Interact."

    Final Thoughts: It was a simple story, but very well done. While there were obvious hooks for a sequel, this mission stands well on its own. I especially like how it seemed that I really was in charge of the conference security, and the decisions that I made actually affected the outcome of the mission.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Why did you create a new thread instead of using your old one?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET

    Sha Ka Ree and Gre'thor
    ST-HU5BIL46P
    by shamrockduck

    "P'Jem is under siege by an alien force never before encountered by Starfleet, and it's up to you to stop them!"

    Final Rating: 2 Stars

    Synopsis:
    Starfleet has lost contact with the monastery on P'Jem and wants you to respond code 3. Warping into the system you realize that you need to destroy 5/5 enemy ships. After taking the enemy ships out, your engineer is able to pierce the dampening field and beam you down.

    On the surface you find yourself in a forest in a dark night with heavy mist. Then you run around, rescuing the monks and fighting the bad guys, in a forest, in the dark, in thick heavy mist.

    After killing dozens and dozens of enemies, in a dark forest at night in heavy mist, you are able to find and deactivate the dampening field generator. Your team and the rescued survivors beam back up to the ship.

    Problems with the mission: The mission door (P'Jem) is not shown in the Mission Tracker. I mark down for this. The player needs to be able to find the mission even if they go AFK or forget what was written in the blurb or mission accept windows.

    Defeat unidentified ships (0/5). Without a definite reason this just feels like it's dragging out the mission for no reason.

    On the planet's surface it's night in the middle of a forest filled with thick mist. I was constantly bumping into rocks and trees that I couldn't see. Several times I was stuck in between several objects and couldn't see why or how to get out. This was extremely frustrating and a major mark down. What player wants to play a game that they can't even see?

    There were way WAY too many enemies on the ground. It did nothing to advance the story, and after killing wave after wave after wave of them for absolutely no reason it just got boring. Zillions of enemies is not a substitute for a good story.

    Final Thoughts: No story or plot advancement. Why did they attack P'Jem? I don't know. Why was the area covered with mist? I don't know. Why were they guarding the transport dampener? I don't know. Since when did the monastery get a transport dampener? I don't know. Why not? Because nothing that happened was explained. I get that this is part 1 or 2, but there has to be at least some plot advancement in part 1.

    What saved this from 1 Star was the dialog, those parts where I spoke to the NPCs about the situation. These bits of text are well written and make it clear that the author can write. Text could be added in a few spots that would explain some of the story and plot to the player.

    Doing that, and fixing the inability to see the entire time the player is on the planet's surface, would add at least a full star to the rating.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Like the forum rules say, please do not create duplicate threads.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET

    Into The Lions Den
    ST-HCX9VUX7S
    by QuanZen

    "Remember the Koybayashi Maru? Well that was just one of many Starfleet Simulations that a Starfleet Cadet must face."

    Final Rating: 3 Stars

    Synopsis:
    This is mission is a holodeck training mission for a Starfleet cadet. In this simulation, you and your fellow cadets, designated Extraction Team Bravo, will beam down to Rura Penthe. Your mission: link up with Team Alpha, free Starfleet prisoners, and successfully extract from the area of operations.

    You beam down into a snow storm. You locate Alpha's damaged shuttle and are attacked by the local wildlife. You enter the prison facility and, fight your way through to where Alpha is holed up. Both teams are ambushed on the way to the extraction point, but you finally reach it and are beamed up to your ship.

    Once there you find out that it's overrun with Klingon boarding parties. You split up and fight your way to Engineering. Once there, the bridge calls and informs you that they're under attack and need help getting the shields refreshed. The engineer walks you through the process and the shields are restored.

    Then you head to the shuttle bay to deal with the remaining Klingon soldiers. Afterward, you use your command codes to override the security lock-out so you can take the turbo lift to the bridge.

    Once there you take command of the ship and disable the waiting Klingon ships. You set the transwarp gate to blow right after you enter it so that the Klingons can't follow you back to Federation space.

    After exiting the holodeck, the Admiral who's been observing the training simulation, critiques your performance and informs you that you've done well.

    Problems with the mission: Mission door was not shown in the Mission Tracker.

    Survive Mastiff Packs (0/3) Really? Clear cave of enemies (0/3) These are unnecessary, and only serve to make the mission seem longer for no apparent reason.

    Some typos - Mission Objective: Kill reaining boarding party & "Myself and the majority of my staff was"? No, I and were.

    The engineer tells me to take the shields offline, but the interact bar says I'm taking the Warp Core offline. Which one is it? Then the engineer calls me back and is shocked that I just took the shields offline. What? You just told me to take the shields offline and now you're surprised that the shields are offline?!?!

    Final Thoughts: With the exception of a few mistakes, the story and dialog are good. This mission does a good job of being what it's billed as: a training simulation for a Starfleet cadet.

    The two biggest things that prevented me from giving this mission 4 stars were not putting the mission door in the Mission Tracker as the first objective and this.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    It's not a duplicate thread. The previous thread had nothing to do with May reviews.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Inquizitor wrote: »
    It's not a duplicate thread. The previous thread had nothing to do with May reviews.
    This.

    It's sometimes best to break down long-term projects into digestible sizes. This thread is just May reviews; the last one was just April/March
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Good to see you back up and running with the reviews, PF.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    It was odd that the two UGC contacts typing at the center consoles ignored the battle and just kept typing. I guess they had a deadline.

    I like to read (most of) your reviews, but I think you could do better ones, if you studied the Foundry editor and its limitations a bit.

    To an author your quote sounds like stating the obvious. Contacts do NOT interfere in any kind of battle. Contacts named "UGC contacts" = Forgotten to set the display name.

    There are reasons to use contacts instead of friend/enemy groups sometimes, depending on mission context and functionality intended for the NPC. While the author could have used group members (which are either friendlies or hostiles) which can have a weighted "job function", and thus can fight, this is just one example of technical choices/limitations in the Foundry.

    I think if you just went ahead and created like two or three maps just for fun, your reviews would get even better. A critic without knowledge of the medium he is judging does not run on full impulse and never at warp speed.

    Just my humble opinion. Otherwise keep up the neat reviews. If Cryptic ever decides to allow for dual language dialogues or unlimited missions/author, you might see some of mine.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Along the lines of what Leirus is saying the beeping noises occur because all ground interacts have that noise. We can set the animations, but the noise will always be various bleeps and bloops.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    I tend to agree with Peregrin. While this is a limitation of the tools today, it is also a shortcoming in the mission. No criticism against the author though you can only work with the tools you are given.
    That said, this type of feedback is certainly seen by the devs, and if they see that this is regularly a complant or problem with missions (ie bad reviews because of tool limitations) then I fully expect those aspects to be given some attention in the tools.

    Make sense?

    So yes, while it might be a bit harsh to criticize a mission because of a toolset limitation, its perfectly reasonable feedback, and overall could work to the community's advantage.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET

    Murder On The Homefront
    ST-HAL9Y9ZQ4
    by Powerhelm

    "A high ranking Starfleet official has been found murdered in a small village on Chapel III."

    Final Rating: 3 Stars

    Synopsis:
    You warp into the Chapel system to find that the crime scene has been secured and a medical officer is preparing to begin an autopsy on the victim.

    Beaming down, you speak with the doctor who explains that he has the body in a stasis unit and that security is holding the witnesses in a nearby lounge. Speaking with the witnesses gives you a general overview of the events, then you head outside to the crime scene.

    After scanning the crime scene you discover a man nearby who is delusional and also obviously the killer. You have security take him into custody and then scan the nearby crates that the Admiral brought with him to the planet. Scans reveal that they contain enough explosives to destroy the entire colony, and that a remote arming device is active. Instead of immediately beaming them into space you decide to head back indoors.

    Once there you find the remote terminal that has been rigged to detonate the bomb. Using info you learned from the rambling of the crazy man you're able to decrypt and shut down the detonation program.

    Speaking with the doctor again, he informs you that his analysis has revealed that the dead Starfleet Admiral was really an Undine. Then the mission ends.

    Problems with the mission: The mission door was not listed in the Mission Tracker. Players have to be able to find your mission even if they forget previous information or go AFK.

    The author consistently used it's to mean its. It's is not possessive, its is.

    Bugs that I didn't mark down for: Many colonists are named "UGC Contact" and the Admiral's body was floating above the chamber he was supposed to be sealed into.

    Major plot issues not resolved:
    What was the undine infiltrator trying to blow up? And where exactly did he get and how was he able to transport that much explosives? Those crate are the size of automobiles. Federation security must be a real joke if someone can just take a ship to another planet with 3 cars full of explosives powerful enough to crack a planet.

    Why did simply reading the undine's mind cause the betazed to go insane? We've seen betazoids in the shows read a lot of strange minds and not go suddenly insane.

    And most importantly, why did my captain not immediately have the explosives beamed into space? By not doing so he criminally endangered the lives of everyone on the planet's surface and should be immediately relieved of command for incompetence!

    Final Thoughts: A well written, if simple and straightforward mission. However, the ending was anti-climactic and left too many important issues unresolved. I'm not certain if this was supposed to be a murder mystery or a statement about how badly the Federation has been infiltrated by the Undine.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Leirus wrote: »
    I like to read (most of) your reviews, but I think you could do better ones, if you studied the Foundry editor and its limitations a bit.
    All authors have to work within the limitations of their chosen medium.

    In most cases it makes no sense to have people just stand around and ignore a pitch battle, so an author should take steps to avoid that.

    I have played with the Foundry a bit, and I am aware of most of the limitations. But I am reviewing stories, not the limitations of the Foundry tools. And I am reviewing them from the point of view of someone who isn't a Foundry author. Why? Because most of the people who play and rate your missions are not Foundry authors. They're not going to cut authors any slack for issues that they're not aware of and so I don't either.

    Nagorak wrote: »
    Along the lines of what Leirus is saying the beeping noises occur because all ground interacts have that noise. We can set the animations, but the noise will always be various bleeps and bloops.
    I've interacted with a lot of people in the Foundry that don't beep like a starship control panel when I talk to them. If they do so it's because of a design decision made by the author, and I mark down for that. People don't beep like a computer when you talk to them. Once again, the author has to work within the limitations of the tools that he has available to him.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET

    Into The Lions Den
    ST-HCX9VUX7S
    by QuanZen

    "Remember the Koybayashi Maru? Well that was just one of many Starfleet Simulations that a Starfleet Cadet must face."

    Final Rating: 3 Stars

    Synopsis:
    This is mission is a holodeck training mission for a Starfleet cadet. In this simulation, you and your fellow cadets, designated Extraction Team Bravo, will beam down to Rura Penthe. Your mission: link up with Team Alpha, free Starfleet prisoners, and successfully extract from the area of operations.

    You beam down into a snow storm. You locate Alpha's damaged shuttle and are attacked by the local wildlife. You enter the prison facility and, fight your way through to where Alpha is holed up. Both teams are ambushed on the way to the extraction point, but you finally reach it and are beamed up to your ship.

    Once there you find out that it's overrun with Klingon boarding parties. You split up and fight your way to Engineering. Once there, the bridge calls and informs you that they're under attack and need help getting the shields refreshed. The engineer walks you through the process and the shields are restored.

    Then you head to the shuttle bay to deal with the remaining Klingon soldiers. Afterward, you use your command codes to override the security lock-out so you can take the turbo lift to the bridge.

    Once there you take command of the ship and disable the waiting Klingon ships. You set the transwarp gate to blow right after you enter it so that the Klingons can't follow you back to Federation space.

    After exiting the holodeck, the Admiral who's been observing the training simulation, critiques your performance and informs you that you've done well.

    Problems with the mission: Mission door was not shown in the Mission Tracker.

    Survive Mastiff Packs (0/3) Really? Clear cave of enemies (0/3) These are unnecessary, and only serve to make the mission seem longer for no apparent reason.

    Some typos - Mission Objective: Kill reaining boarding party & "Myself and the majority of my staff was"? No, I and were.

    The engineer tells me to take the shields offline, but the interact bar says I'm taking the Warp Core offline. Which one is it? Then the engineer calls me back and is shocked that I just took the shields offline. What? You just told me to take the shields offline and now you're surprised that the shields are offline?!?!

    Final Thoughts: With the exception of a few mistakes, the story and dialog are good. This mission does a good job of being what it's billed as: a training simulation for a Starfleet cadet.

    The two biggest things that prevented me from giving this mission 4 stars were not putting the mission door in the Mission Tracker as the first objective and this.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to review my mission. It is my first Foundry Mission and my decision to continue the Simulation Courses depended on the feedback I received for this first mission. I will make sure to make the neccessary corrections that you have pointed out. The mission lacks in story due to my follow up mission being about the cover up in the first mission. So hopefully the second mission will be alot better and I should be able to use the Foundry tools better the second time around. ;)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET Level 31+

    Eyes Only
    ST-HU3I2TQOO
    by Zarrax

    "You have been tasked by Starfleet Command to assist in the recovery of information from a troubled Cardassian mining operation on one of the stations in the Cardassian sector of Beta Ursae."

    Final Rating: 2 Stars

    Synopsis:
    Warping into the system you find something unusual on the sensors, but you decide to ignore that and head to the mining colony. The asteroid colony's shields are down and they're non-responsive. You can't beam over because of the massive interference from the unusual thing on sensors that you've decided to ignore, so you have to take a shuttle.

    On the way to the shuttle bay you decide to pick up medical supplies, but because they're Cardassians you have to do some research and create them from scratch. Once at the shuttle bay you have to do some alterations on the shuttle. Doesn't anyone else work on this ship but me?

    Once you get out of the shuttle the first thing you see is a body. That's never a good sign. Then you have the option to tag the body for transport (I thought the transporters didn't work).

    Searching the computers yields no useful information. Searching the bodies reveals the commander, who is still alive and wants you to know that the big shiny thing could have made Cardassia great again. Scanning the shiny thing causes your ship to call in with a report that a big symbol is all over the screens. You give the order to transport back, even though you had to take a shuttle because transporters won't work because of the interference.

    Arriving in your Ready Room, you take a call from an Admiral who yells at you to "Destroy Omega!" before hanging up. Uhm... ok. What's Omega? Thanks for the info. Then the bridge calls. It seems that they've managed to clear the interference and they found a Borg sphere hiding beside the unusual thing that you decided to ignore. The Borg have beamed Omega aboard so you decide to beam over to the Borg sphere.

    Aboard the Borg sphere you scan a couple of some of their systems, which gives you no info, but you do notice that the Borg are praying to Omega. You decide to scan a bunch more Borg consoles, but this also does nothing. You find out how to destabilize the Omega Molecule (oh, so that's what Omega is), but this sets off Borg security, so it's time to beam back to the ship, even though the Borg sphere's shields are up.

    More Borg ships warp in. After quickly destroying them you decide to beam several torpedoes into the Borg sphere (even though its shields are up) and it explodes. Situation over.

    Problems with the mission: Capitalizing the first word in a sentence is not optional. Sentences must end with punctuation. And trivorders?

    Why am I replicating the medical supplies? Does no one else work on this ship? Once again, why am I working on the shuttle? Puzzles are great, but not when they make no sense.

    Lower the containment field to get better scan data? Wait what?? I'm not lowering the containment field and risking releasing the thing that killed everyone else here!

    Wait, why am I beaming aboard the Borg sphere again? Why not just destroy it?

    Final Thoughts: Why does no one explain to me what Omega is? Or that it's the Omega Molecule? Or what the Omega Molecule even is? Yes I know what it is, but not everyone has seen that one Voyager episode.

    Why did I ignore the big anomaly in space that's causing so many problems? And why did the transporters suddenly work when a minute ago they didn't? And why did they work through the Borg ship's shields? And why were the Borg praying to Omega?

    A story is about explaining things to the audience. When this mission ends there's too many things that were never explained.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    When I asked Peregrine to review my first mission, I did expect honesty and I got it.

    quote "And trivorders?"

    If I managed only one spelling mistake I class that as a plus.

    quote "Capitalizing the first word in a sentence is not optional. Sentences must end with punctuation."

    Yes agreed, mistypes do happen and can be fixed when I get chance to.

    quote "Why am I replicating the medical supplies? Does no one else work on this ship? Once again, why am I working on the shuttle?"

    If I just said this was being done, you would have less to do, and there is no way currently for you to have your away team actually do things in the Foundry, so you have to do them yourself. I thought that by adding in Cardassian requirements rather than just going over with the standard cure-all hypo made more sense. Having to make adjustments on the fly for the anomalies interference added to the mission in my opinion.

    quote "Why does no one explain to me what Omega is?"

    OK more info is needed, I assumed (wrongly) that since I had seen the episode everyone else who played STO had also seen it and knew what Omega was. Although the information was not to be disseminated amongst the crew, I guess I should inform the Captain involved just in case they hated Voyager and didn't know about this directive.

    I can expand on the Admiral's explanation and give more details out at that point, as well as lengthening the Cardassian Commanders dialog to explain why they brought IT on-board prior to you finding out what IT is.

    I will add lines getting the science dept to work on cutting through the interference to get the transporters working in time for the beamout and to do more digging into the anomaly itself.

    I think I will alter the dialog from borg shields raised to raising giving you chance to get out and then to deposit torpedoes later if this is a better scenario than a miraculous ability of getting around Borg shields.

    I did think of adding dialog about required reading from the academy regarding the Borg reaction to Omega but since Omega is Captain Eyes Only, it wouldn't really be on the curriculum so I can't see anyway of getting the point across that the Borg's fascination with Omega borders on the almost religious need for its perfection.

    One thing I noticed when playing it again that wasn't mentioned probably because it may be seen as a foundry limitation was when beaming out of the Ready room, the dialog states the away team has just docked in the shuttle when clearly they are in the room with you. :( Originally I had put the spawn point in a corner but prior to publishing it I ran though it for about the 5th time and managed to a ppear in the wall so moved it so I couldn;t be marked down by being incompletable so I guess I will also have to alter that dialog too.

    I am grateful for the opinions expressed here, by Peregrine, for taking his time to review all the missions people have asked him to, and if anyone else would care to try this mission either before or after alterations, be my guest.


    At least I'm not HIghlander 2 with phasers lol.

    (please note I went out of my way to check punctuation and capitalisation in the reply)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Zarrax wrote: »
    If I just said this was being done, you would have less to do, and there is no way currently for you to have your away team actually do things in the Foundry, so you have to do them yourself. I thought that by adding in Cardassian requirements rather than just going over with the standard cure-all hypo made more sense. Having to make adjustments on the fly for the anomalies interference added to the mission in my opinion.

    And this is just the kind of feedback you have to take with a grain of salt, because while one person like PF may say "Im the Captain, why should I dirty my hands", someone else would enjoy it. You should also remember that a very small minority of the playerbase actually use the forums, so what one person says here about your mission isnt going to matter to the vast majority of the playerbase and people who will eventually play your mission.

    Some people also seem to think being overly critical and picking things apart in minute detail makes you a good reviewer, but it doesnt. Being able to provide constructive criticism that an author can actually apply while also showing them respect for taking the time to make content for other people to enjoy makes you a good reviewer.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    quote "Why am I replicating the medical supplies? Does no one else work on this ship? Once again, why am I working on the shuttle?"

    If I just said this was being done, you would have less to do, and there is no way currently for you to have your away team actually do things in the Foundry, so you have to do them yourself. I thought that by adding in Cardassian requirements rather than just going over with the standard cure-all hypo made more sense. Having to make adjustments on the fly for the anomalies interference added to the mission in my opinion.

    It is a better example of what I said earlier. You can play it all on one map actually.
    "Why do I fight those Federation Rebels? Let my security team do it."
    "Why do I replicate XYZ? Let the guy that usually hands me my drinks handle it..."
    "Why do I patrol this section of space? Let my tactical officer go out there in a shuttle..."

    Yes, through dialogue you can have all that happen. But you do not see any action then. Also, not all characters are VAs. Some might still remember their initial training and perhaps like to get their hands dirty. ;)
    ((Aside from the fact, if a Cryptic mission states you to exterminate some plant life... You.. do it? ;)))

    You say you only judge on story value, but you do not. You critizise on technical limitations. Some people are better working around them then others. And for some there simply is not work around. If you say:
    But I am reviewing stories, not the limitations of the Foundry tools. And I am reviewing them from the point of view of someone who isn't a Foundry author. Why? Because most of the people who play and rate your missions are not Foundry authors. They're not going to cut authors any slack for issues that they're not aware of and so I don't either.

    It is hypocrisy. People who actually want to play those missions might be reading your reviews to find a good one. They are written quite smug 'n smart, but I have found some good missions myself rated badly by you - and you cannot tell me it was because of the story there. It was about "technical" or "pseudo-technical" issues.

    "Why do I have to fight those Klingons on the ground? Can't I just order their base bombarded?"
    Ultimately: "Why do I do anything myself? I am a Vice Admiral. Let some fleets go there, clean up whatever mess they find."

    Really, you are doing great reviews, but do not get arrogant about some minor points. That is a talent I HAVE and DO NOT want to share. ;)

    If a story is bad, in most - not all - cases I agreed with you. My own Foundry contributions are very much dialogue heavy. If there was a German Peregine, though, would I get a low rating because he had to go sabotage a station and click on the targets himself?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET Level 46+

    Hold the Line
    ST-HSDDYCCYD
    by Flashmanandy

    "Tasked with a medical mission at Starbase 24, things soon get out of hand."

    Final Rating: 4 Stars

    Synopsis:
    Upon warping in to the area of Starbase 24 you're greeted by the Admiral and offered the choice of dining with him or providing medical assistance to wounded officers aboard several damaged ships.

    After beaming medical supplies aboard the damaged ships, you receive a warning that a Romulan fleet is incoming. You call for reinforcements and rendezvous with elements of 6th Fleet right before the Romulan fleet enters the system.

    Once the battle is over you receive intelligence regarding Romulan activity in the Pilatus system and head there to investigate. At Pilatus you find several damaged Romulan ships and something starts affecting the minds of your own crew. Your science officer comes up with a solution to block the mental influence and then several Undine vessels enter the system.

    You destroy the Undine attackers, but a group of Undine beams directly into your ready room. Security helps you defeat the boarders and then you disarm the device they brought aboard with them.

    Problems with the mission: The mission door was not shown in the Mission Tracker. I rate missions down for this. What if a player forgets what he read in the previous windows? What if the player has to go AFK or log out of the game entirely? If the player can't find your mission they're not likely to give it a good rating when they drop it. The location of the mission door must be the first objective.

    Why does the Admiral offer to dine with me if there are wounded officers that need immediate assistance?

    When heading for the rendezvous at the beacon I had to get so close to the beacon that my ship was almost touching it before the pop up appeared.

    A couple of misspellings. It's "out of sight", not "out of site."

    Final Thoughts: The author did a good job giving personalities to everyone involved, including my own bridge officers. The story is a but short, but well done, and the author does a good job of explaining why everything happened without excessive text.

    With one exception. The obvious animosity between the vulcan admiral and my captain wasn't explained. So I found myself wondering the entire time why my captain had such a problem with him. The author should have made a point of specifically explaining that I'd met the admiral before and/or exactly why I have a problem with him.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Do I need to request a mission review every month? Also, are you reviewing any mission, or just the ones that need a review to go live to the community authored portion of the foundry?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    ddommus wrote: »
    Do I need to request a mission review every month? Also, are you reviewing any mission, or just the ones that need a review to go live to the community authored portion of the foundry?
    Not at all. Your mission, "The Winter of our Discontent" is still on my list. I know that it's been a number of weeks since you've requested the review and that's exactly why I've worked on streamlining the review process.


    And to other posters:

    The purpose of my reviews is to point out flaws in the mission, whether they are typos or plot holes, so that the author can fix those flaws and improve their missions.

    My ratings and final thoughts are my opinion and I've never presented them as anything else. Are people going to disagree with my opinion? Of course they are. As always, if you don't like my reviews you're free to not read them.

    You should know that if you hear an arrogant "tone of voice" in your head when you read my reviews, realize that you're the one who's putting that there, not I.

    Also, while my German isn't good enough to correct a native speaker, I can and have reviewed German missions.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    The purpose of my reviews is to point out flaws in the mission, whether they are typos or plot holes, so that the author can fix those flaws and improve their missions.

    I thought the purpose of a review was to point out both the good and the bad. And yes, I have seen you do this in your reviews. I just find it interesting you do not mention anything except the flaws in your statement above.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Seems like you have a huge list to work off.
    Can you give us a number or even better a list of upcoming reviews?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET Level 31+

    Mirror Images
    ST-HH3O7NFEU
    by SenatorCato

    "You get an easy mission from the Adjutant of Admiral Marcus P. Cato. You should only check an Asteroid Base in the Aihai System (Iota Pavonis Sector) there you can see some Images do you like what you see ?....."

    Final Rating: 3 Stars

    Synopsis:
    You trying hailing the base as your approach the system, but receive no answer. Dropping out of warp, you scan the area near the base and locate a spacial anomaly that's being supported from the base.

    As your science officer is evaluating the data, a squadron of ships comes through the anomaly from the mirror universe. After blowing them into opposite particles the base finally decides they want to talk, and they inform you that they are ready for your inspection.

    Beaming over to the base, you see the Terran Empire personnel, who've obviously mistaken you for one of their own, standing ready for inspection. During your inspection you sabotage the equipment that's maintaining the nearby anomaly and then beam back to your ship. A quick deflector pulse collapses the weakened anomaly, but not before several more Terran Empire ships come through. A group of Starfleet ships shows up, and together you stop this latest invasion.

    Once that fight is over, the admiral asks you to beam aboard his flagship for debrief and cocktails.

    Problems with the mission: This mission is written in German and in English. There are numerous minor problems with the translation, but since the author informed me that English is not his native language, I did not mark down for this. While there are too many mistakes for me to list them all here, I'll just remind the author that in English I is always capitalized but nouns aren't unless they're names.

    Unfortunately I cannot comment on the mistakes I noticed in the German text.

    Immediately after I finished the first battle the base calls and mistakes me for one of their own. Did they not notice that I just blew up a bunch of their ships?

    A number of the interact bars just say "Interact."

    In episodes regarding them, the Terran Empire has always had far better security than the Federation. So why didn't anyone notice when I sabotaged their generators?

    While in the base I felt like my bridge officers were ordering me around the whole time.

    I was surprised when the Starfleet ships showed up, who called them?

    Final Thoughts: The inspection was well done. I felt like an Admiral conducting an inspection.

    The story was good overall with one exception, I never found out what the Terran Empire personnel were trying to do. Why did they take over that base? Why there and not in Federation or Cardassian space, where we usually see them? Were they trying to accomplish something in particular, or were they just trying to invade the Federation again? A few lines of text explaining this would have tied up this major plot point.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET

    Old Friends in Need
    ST-HB8ZNYTSB
    by JasonDLT

    "One of the most famous ships in StarFleet has gone missing with a special dignatary aboard. With the fate of Vulcan and the Romulan colonies hanging in the balance - find the ship, defeat the Romulan captors and help save some old friends."

    Final Rating: 3 Stars

    Synopsis:
    After beaming down to ESD, Admiral Zanzaba briefs you on the disappearance of the Enterprise-E. Ambassador Picard was aboard on a sensitive mission.

    You head to the Enterprise's last known location, the Vulcan system, to search for her. Warping into the system you immediately find yourself in a cloud of debris from Enterprise. I guess the Vulcans didn't find an attack on a Starfleet ship important enough to call Starfleet about.

    After destroying the Romulan vessels that suddenly decloak around you, you're called by a vulcan ambassador who informs you that they sat around and watched while the Romulans attacked Enterprise and then towed her away. At least they tracked her to the Great Bloom, so that's the next destination.

    Arriving at the Great Bloom you immediately pick the Enterprise up on sensors. You approach her and destroy the Romulan ships guarding her, but the ship itself is overrun with Romulans.

    You beam into Main Engineering and take out the Romulans there. After disabling the auto-destruct sequence, and locking command functions out, you head toward the bridge. After clearing the corridors of Romulan intruders, you take the turbolift to the bridge and quickly depopulate it. Speaking to the ship's wounded first officer, you find that Picard, Data and a lot of Enterprise's crew was beamed down to the planet's surface by their Romulan captors.

    Beaming down to the surface, you quickly free an number of Enterprise officers and crewmen, and find the entrance to the underground base where Ambassador Picard is being held. You sweep and clear the underground base of Romulans and then encounter the boss who's screaming furiously about Ambassador Picard being beamed out right in front of them just seconds ago. Then you enter the room and take down his crew, but find that the boss has beamed back to his ship.

    Upon returning to your ship, you blow the Romulan boss out of the sky and save Enterprise.

    Problems with the mission: Section 31 is hiding the Admiral? Starfleet Security or even Starfleet Intelligence should be doing that. Section 31 doesn't officially exist and if they did I'd have to arrest them for violation of many counts of Starfleet regulations and Federation law.

    How did the Romulans get past border security and all the way to Vulcan? Remember if they can do that then they could warp right into Sol, and so could the Klingons.

    Several times I zoned in directly in to one or more groups of enemies. Camping the spawn point is not cool no matter who does it.

    The Romulans activated the auto-destruct sequence? The passcoded, voice-authorization only auto-destruct sequence?

    The planetoid was a class what?

    Why are the Romulans just standing around outdoors with their prisoners? Do they not have cells?

    A few minor misspellings.

    Final Thoughts: The author did an excellent job of not breaking the EULA, by not showing either Captain Data or Ambassador Picard, and by doing it in a way that made sense.

    While a little combat heavy, this is an excellent story that I really wanted to rate with 4 stars. The numerous problems, which are minor and should be easily fixed, prevented me from doing so.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    Review Request:

    Name: Memory Lane
    Lvl Req.: 31+
    Faction: Fed
    Author: Bazag
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET

    Prototype
    ST-HR37RV6PN
    by Pentavrit

    "A distress call is received from a research colony on Andoria. You are dispatched by Starfleet Command to urgently investigate."

    Final Rating: 3 Stars

    Synopsis:
    Dropping out of warp, you're immediately asked to investigate a forming subspace rupture. Once you get close to the rupture you discover a disabled Borg cube.

    Your bridge officers recommend that you proceed with caution, until you see several explosions blow out the sides of the cube, then they suddenly want you to beam over to the cube and investigate.

    You wonder around scanning and trying to hack into borg consoles until you set off the security alarms. Now you have to fight your way past the Borg until you find a device that will transport you to the new node.

    After transporting, you have to cut down the borg guarding the new node. Examination determines how this new node accidentally brought the cube to Andoria. Instead of beaming the node out, so that you can turn the it over to Starfleet R&D, you decide to beam back to your ship so that you can destroy the borg cube.

    The borg cube goes active and attacks your ship. Then you find out that several borg beamed down to a research base on the surface of Andoria. After beaming down and helping local security take out the borg invaders you head back to the ship and fire off a deflector pulse that seals the rupture shut.

    Problems with the mission: The mission door is not shown in the Mission Tracker.

    A research colony on Andoria? Andoria isn't a colony world. It's the homeworld of the Andorians and has almost a billion inhabitants. And where's the Imperial Guard and their hundreds of warships?

    That ship is inactive, I see portions of it exploding and you want me to beam over there? Ok, just let me grab my Idiot Ball and I'll be ready to go.

    Wait! Why are we going to site to site transport? Where are we transporting to? A new node? What do I care about a new node?

    The Borg beamed part of their ship down with them? And it's already fused with the surroundings? Already? They've been on the surface for about 60 whole seconds.

    Final Thoughts: A straightforward mission that does an excellent job of explaining how the Borg could reach Andoria. However it really suffers from a number of minor plot holes that really pile up, and could have been solved with only a little better dialog from the bridge officers.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    You should know that if you hear an arrogant "tone of voice" in your head when you read my reviews, realize that you're the one who's putting that there, not I.

    Nothing says "I"m not arrogant" like a condescending statemeng :rolleyes:
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited May 2011
    STARFLEET Level 31+

    Bad Blood
    ST-HCAYTIUVT
    by PsychoFish64

    "You are called to a diplomatic conference with a new race that might be on its way to become the next member of the Federation. But when something unexpected happens your dress uniform might get a bit dirty."

    Final Rating: 3 Stars

    Synopsis:
    You arrive in the Ponor system and rendezvous with the USS Hadley, where the negotiations are about to take place. You're advised to don your dress uniform and you beam over.

    The Hadley's chief of security briefs you, and asks you to leave your officers outside, before you enter the conference room. The first speech is about to start when an explosion rocks the Hadley. Captain Derulo heads to the bridge and you head to engineering to see if you can help out. After helping the short-handed engineering team lock down the problems you find out that the explosion was sabotage, and a shuttlecraft just launched without clearance.

    You beam back to your ship and head out in pursuit of the fleeing shuttlecraft, and are intercepted by several fighter squadrons. After dealing with them you tractor the shuttle, but the ambassador beams down to a small moon.

    Upon beaming to his coordinates, you find yourself smack in the middle of a large group of enemies. You take care of them and sweep through the base terminating dozens more. You finally encounter the Ponorian Ambassador who confirms that he's a traitor. Another double-sized group of enemies beams down right around you. When the smoke clears you decide to inform the ponorians about the hidden rebel base on their moon.

    Problems with the mission: So the ambassador planted a bomb in Main Engineering. See, incidents like this are exactly why you don't allow anyone except the ship's engineering crew into Main Engineering.

    Then the Ambassador just hotwires a shuttlecraft and flies away! Who's in charge of security on this bucket?

    There were way WAY too many enemies. He has a ton of soldiers that work for him, ok I get it. No I really don't need to fight 4 more groups of them.

    And can we please stop beaming me directly into multiple closely packed groups of enemies? And stop beaming multiple closely packed groups of enemies directly around me? It's not fun. It's not a challenge. It's just annoying.

    Final Thoughts: Best quote I've seen in a Foundry mission so far, ne of my officers says to me; "A warp core explosion would heavily damage the nearby Ponorian station." Yeah! Not to mention that it probably wouldn't be that great for my health either!

    The story itself is good one. Addressing the problems, and adding a little more depth to the story, could definitely bring this up to 4 Star territory.
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