I don't know the background well enough to say what characters should do what, but the character that stands out most in my mind is Nung. I'd fast track her on the Command path, beginning with a leadership position in the computer sciences department, and using her to fill in for every step-up that gets his head knocked off until she has a ship of her own.
She is fragile, and keeps getting broken, but soon there will be more glue than girl. She's tougher than her body, but her body will catch up.
Anyway, that's my two cents, for what it's worth.
I find myself haunting the forums waiting for the net update. It's a compelling story. And I personally love the out-of-story details that give windows into the universe. Please continue every time you introduce a new concept, or just whenever you feel like it.
I keep wanting to tell characters like Nung that they're "real" too - just because their genetics were assembled deliberately rather than randomly and their childhoods were implanted, doesn't make them any less real than any natural-born. For all I can tell at this point, my childhood memories may as well have been artificial as well - it's not like I can reach into them, you know? But she's here, now, and everything she's done beyond a certain point is as real as anyone else she knows, AP or natural.
And someone at some point really should point up Earther bigotry on the topic. Personality traits can be affected by genetics, but they don't determine anything alone; the problem with Khan Singh and his people wasn't that their genes were optimized, but that they were told their entire lives that they were special and deserved to be in positions of power over their "lessers". And one thing human history tells us is that you don't even need genetic manipulation - you can take the most baseborn people, tell them from childhood that they're better than the run of humanity, and you will raise monsters. (Historical parallels are left as an exercise for the alert student; gods know they're not hard to find.)
So yeah, I'm really enjoying the story, because boring tales don't get dissected like this.
“Yes sir,” I assent as the others file out. Hibiki has already disappeared from the monitor.
He pauses for a moment, seemingly marshaling his thoughts. “I’m not in trouble again, am I?” I half-jokingly prompt him.
“No, no, this is nothing like that. Ahem. I want to offer you a job, once this is all over.”
“Sir?”
“A position will be opening up soon on the Starfleet Academy Board, and I’d like you to take it.”
“Ohhh, no.” I laugh. “I’ll admit, that crack about Cadet Walford being my daughter was kinda funny in hindsight, but you need to work on your sense of humor. You’re serious, aren’t you, sir,” I finish rather lamely at the expression on his face.
“Look, you’ve been complaining for years about how clueless most of our graduates are about the conditions on the borders. Consider this your chance to do something about it.”
“Sir… you need me in the field.”
“I do at the moment, yes. But clearing this mess up is going to take years. Let’s face it, except for that stint at the 77th, you’ve been in front-line combat almost since you graduated. I’d need a break after that long too. And… well, there’s your impending nuptials.” My eyes narrow at that and he quickly holds up a hand to forestall comment. “No, don’t get me wrong… Oh, damn it. I never told you about my son, did I, Kanril?”
“I’ve met Elizabeth, sir; didn’t realize you have a son, too.”
“Had a son. I was chief engineer of the Cygnus, my partner Gulnaz was a general staff officer at Starbase 211, when the Dominion War broke out. Our son… There was a reactor leak when the Jem’Hadar hit the station; he didn’t make it.” I wince. Radiation is a horrible way to go.
He glances offscreen, maybe at a liquor bottle, but turns back to me. “My relationship with Gulnaz barely survived. Let me just come out and say it: a starship or base on the front lines is no place to raise a family, if that’s what you and him want. Excuse me if you feel like I’m stepping on your toes there.”
“… It’s crossed my mind, sir,” I admit.
“But don’t get me wrong, that’s not why I want you in the job. I think the student body would really benefit from your experience. You’d be teaching a few classes a week, you’d have input into admission standards and curricula. It’s a good opportunity to, dare I say it, put your money where your mouth is. You want the way Starfleet approaches its duties to change, this is how you do it: from the ground up.”
“How long would I be in the job?”
“Try it for a semester, see what you think. If you want back to the front after that, I’ll give it to you. And if you want Cadet Walford transferred with you from the satellite campus to San Francisco, I can do that for you.”
“I’ll want to talk this over with Gaarra—with Captain Reshek.”
“I would say ‘and with Captain Reshek,’” he remarks with a quirk of his lips.
This scene was a little difficult for me to write. Not having actually dealt with Admiral Cartwright in a story before, I wanted him to be a little eccentric and absentminded (him mistaking Sheri for Eleya's daughter is based on an anecdote from when my mom was in the Navy in the '80s), but also very competent and devoted to his subordinates. That plus the Federation's admirable levels of gender equality meant it took a while for me to come up with a version of this scene that didn't feel like he was mansplaining things to Eleya. Patrick came up with what I thought was the best solution: he was concerned on her behalf because he'd gone through losing a family member while stationed on the front lines. Which also goes back to something that was said by the writing crew of TNG, that in hindsight letting crew members bring their families along while stationed on capital ships left a bad taste in the mouth.
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
As mentioned in part one, Bajor is reestablishing its space fleet throughout this story. They've had a very good army for a very long time, but their navy was never really up to scratch for more than commerce protection (Eleya was crew on an eighty-plus-year-old ex-Breen frigate).
So they've bought a bunch of stuff from Starfleet mothball and have been up-gunning it: the Province-class is a Cheyenne heavy cruiser brought up to more or less Stargazer specs. For frigates or patrol ships, though, they're testing multiple options, both Defiants and Moab Norgh birds-of-prey (the MCDF's bread-and-butter). It complicates logistics a bit to need two different supply trains, but maybe with the Bajoran style of warfare the Norghs turn out to provide advantages as patrol vessels and skirmishers that the tacscorts don't: they favor ruggedness and reliability, and Moab BoPs have proven both abundantly. But they do need bigger ships to provide a credible deterrent, and those are more readily available from Starfleet boneyards.
I can imagine a scenario resembling Finland during the Cold War. The Finns were officially neutral and bought arms from both sides, but they had a preference for Soviet gear due to proximity. The Bajorans are Federation members but mistrust Earth and worry about POSSIBLY having to fight for their independence again. They build a lot of their own arms, but they've only got the one shipyard which is mostly given over to civilian and Starfleet construction
"Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Dammit, Patrick (or whoever wrote that last scene), a Star Trek Online fanfic about preparations for a potential war with the Dominion and/or the H'urq isn't supposed to make people mist up.
Comments
She is fragile, and keeps getting broken, but soon there will be more glue than girl. She's tougher than her body, but her body will catch up.
Anyway, that's my two cents, for what it's worth.
I find myself haunting the forums waiting for the net update. It's a compelling story. And I personally love the out-of-story details that give windows into the universe. Please continue every time you introduce a new concept, or just whenever you feel like it.
And keep up the good work!
And someone at some point really should point up Earther bigotry on the topic. Personality traits can be affected by genetics, but they don't determine anything alone; the problem with Khan Singh and his people wasn't that their genes were optimized, but that they were told their entire lives that they were special and deserved to be in positions of power over their "lessers". And one thing human history tells us is that you don't even need genetic manipulation - you can take the most baseborn people, tell them from childhood that they're better than the run of humanity, and you will raise monsters. (Historical parallels are left as an exercise for the alert student; gods know they're not hard to find.)
So yeah, I'm really enjoying the story, because boring tales don't get dissected like this.
This scene was a little difficult for me to write. Not having actually dealt with Admiral Cartwright in a story before, I wanted him to be a little eccentric and absentminded (him mistaking Sheri for Eleya's daughter is based on an anecdote from when my mom was in the Navy in the '80s), but also very competent and devoted to his subordinates. That plus the Federation's admirable levels of gender equality meant it took a while for me to come up with a version of this scene that didn't feel like he was mansplaining things to Eleya. Patrick came up with what I thought was the best solution: he was concerned on her behalf because he'd gone through losing a family member while stationed on the front lines. Which also goes back to something that was said by the writing crew of TNG, that in hindsight letting crew members bring their families along while stationed on capital ships left a bad taste in the mouth.
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
So they've bought a bunch of stuff from Starfleet mothball and have been up-gunning it: the Province-class is a Cheyenne heavy cruiser brought up to more or less Stargazer specs. For frigates or patrol ships, though, they're testing multiple options, both Defiants and Moab Norgh birds-of-prey (the MCDF's bread-and-butter). It complicates logistics a bit to need two different supply trains, but maybe with the Bajoran style of warfare the Norghs turn out to provide advantages as patrol vessels and skirmishers that the tacscorts don't: they favor ruggedness and reliability, and Moab BoPs have proven both abundantly. But they do need bigger ships to provide a credible deterrent, and those are more readily available from Starfleet boneyards.
I can imagine a scenario resembling Finland during the Cold War. The Finns were officially neutral and bought arms from both sides, but they had a preference for Soviet gear due to proximity. The Bajorans are Federation members but mistrust Earth and worry about POSSIBLY having to fight for their independence again. They build a lot of their own arms, but they've only got the one shipyard which is mostly given over to civilian and Starfleet construction
— Sabaton, "Great War"
Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
Damn allergies...