Just posted my first attempt at one of the Literary Challenges. Hopefully people will find it as entertaining to read as it was writing it.
Also, Is there some tip or trick to posting a LC where every ", ', and - (which are fine in preview mode) doesn't become a ? upon submission and I have to do a number of edits to fix them? I'm reasonably sure I've got them all, but probably missed a couple.
Just posted my first attempt at one of the Literary Challenges. Hopefully people will find it as entertaining to read as it was writing it.
Also, Is there some tip or trick to posting a LC where every ", ', and - (which are fine in preview mode) doesn't become a ? upon submission and I have to do a number of edits to fix them? I'm reasonably sure I've got them all, but probably missed a couple.
unfortunately no, I use libreoffice, I see the same and I'm forced to edit nearly everytime.
Can you paste it into Notepad and re-copy it before pasting it here? Just an idea.
Doesn't work. I tried that on my first one, it still came up as ? on the forum. The only way to do it is to write it either in the forum reply box, or in notepad. That's what I do. Then copy it into word for spell checking. Of course, this could then let the odd ? slip through if you edit something, unless you remember to go and fix that in the wordpad version, but copying the wordpad/notepad version is the best way to do it.
It also doesn't work posting on another forum where it goes up fine, and then copy the text off that website onto this one.
And since I'm replying, you can all expect my entry sometime tonight once I've proofread it. Didn't quite take the direction I intended, but that's what happens.
*******************************************
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Just posted my first attempt at one of the Literary Challenges. Hopefully people will find it as entertaining to read as it was writing it.
Thoroughly enjoyed it :cool: Fantastic to see history from the Romulan perspective :cool: The one bit that jarred, was the reference to Nero, who was only a mining captain, probably not even know to the upper echelons of Romulan Command, but other than that, top stuff indeed :cool:
There's my entry. It can be part of one of 3 LC's, though it's probably best to just go for Freestyle. It carried on directly from the last one with no lapse of time beyond a few minutes.
*******************************************
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
There's my entry. It can be part of one of 3 LC's, though it's probably best to just go for Freestyle. It carried on directly from the last one with no lapse of time beyond a few minutes.
Excellent descriptions, Grylak, particularly of the crash sequence.
One nitpick, stylistically - when Emony tries to get up, you have one too many "in pain"s in that sentence. "...screaming as pain shot through her entire leg" would, I think, be sufficient. (She's certainly not screaming with grief, or glee, at that moment... )
There's my entry. It can be part of one of 3 LC's, though it's probably best to just go for Freestyle. It carried on directly from the last one with no lapse of time beyond a few minutes.
As jonsills said, fantastic description of the crash, that was a really nice entry :cool:
Question: at what altitude was that Hargh'peng detonated? Normally, atmospheric detonation is even worse than doing so on the ground. Larger AoE, basically.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-) Proudly F2P.Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Okay...finally got my entry in. In a way, I'm glad this time was so open-ended as I was a bit worried the continuation I had/have planned wouldn't fit in with the topic selected. As it is, it fell right in there.
Enjoy!
(Edit: Now I can finally enjoy reading everyone else's entries! )
Are we allowed to do prologues for crossover fanfics we are working on?
I got one that was going to be for LC #48 but ended up turning into something more then that. I am still polishing it up and checking it over and figured while doing so, I'd ask.
Are we allowed to do prologues for crossover fanfics we are working on?
I got one that was going to be for LC #48 but ended up turning into something more then that. I am still polishing it up and checking it over and figured while doing so, I'd ask.
Pretty much anything goes wth the LC's so long as you give some reference to the challenge assigned :cool: If you were to call it 'LC #45 Free writing inspired by LC #48', then that will cover anything :cool:
Okay...finally got my entry in. In a way, I'm glad this time was so open-ended as I was a bit worried the continuation I had/have planned wouldn't fit in with the topic selected. As it is, it fell right in there.
Enjoy!
(Edit: Now I can finally enjoy reading everyone else's entries! :-) )
Absolutely loved it :cool: Really nice build up of tension for what will come next :cool:
I only have two points of critique...
1. When Rycho was being initially briefed on the away team findings, one paragraph began 'The Commander' -- For a moment, I thought it was her, the Unnamed Commander, before realising it was meaning Rycho. Something I've started to do more, is only capitalise a rank when it is being used as address in speech, rather than reference (unless at the start of a sentence) eg:
"Captain Palmer!" the earnest lieutenant ran up to the willowy captain and handed her a PADD.
I admit, I haven't got into it as a hard and fast rule as it's still a new habit, but I think in this instance, given The Commander's non-identity, it might help distinguish between one of that rank, and her
2. Rhode Island (Nova) class ship's don't have ready rooms, although the Captain's Quarters are on deck one, directly opposite the bridge's port access door (Unless of course, Rycho's ship has had an upgraded bridge module )
Other than those points, as mentioned, I really enjoyed the entry, and I only mention those as 'points of polish', rather than as criticism ^_^
My entry is now in. As I said, this started off as a smaller deal that has blossomed into a large, in-progress story line across multiple installments crossover fanfiction of Star Trek and Lyrical Nanoha...AUing StrikerS a fair amount.
You guys are going to be the test bed that tells me if this sinks or if it swims. So let me know what you all think of everything right down to ship names. (I chose Gotterdammerung for the meaningfulness of having a ship named after the last opera in Robert Wagner's quartet with the translation 'Twilight Of the Gods' going up against something with nearly God-like power).
EDIT: Standard Disclaimers apply. Seven Arcs owns all Nanoha-related IPs.
Absolutely loved it :cool: Really nice build up of tension for what will come next :cool:
I only have two points of critique...
1. When Rycho was being initially briefed on the away team findings, one paragraph began 'The Commander' -- For a moment, I thought it was her, the Unnamed Commander, before realising it was meaning Rycho. Something I've started to do more, is only capitalise a rank when it is being used as address in speech, rather than reference (unless at the start of a sentence) eg:
"Captain Palmer!" the earnest lieutenant ran up to the willowy captain and handed her a PADD.
I admit, I haven't got into it as a hard and fast rule as it's still a new habit, but I think in this instance, given The Commander's non-identity, it might help distinguish between one of that rank, and her
2. Rhode Island (Nova) class ship's don't have ready rooms, although the Captain's Quarters are on deck one, directly opposite the bridge's port access door (Unless of course, Rycho's ship has had an upgraded bridge module )
Other than those points, as mentioned, I really enjoyed the entry, and I only mention those as 'points of polish', rather than as criticism ^_^
Glad you enjoyed it!
As to your points...
The reason I capitalized Commander was that it was referring to the post of absolute authority on a Romulan ship, rather than Rycho's actual military rank of Sub-Commander (the Nor'Vesa isn't a main starship of the Flotilla, so the High Command did not see any reason to promote him in order for him to assume command). Also, the crew -are- having trouble, themselves, getting used to treating Rycho as their commanding officer when The Commander was such a forceful and trusted figure until now, so that reaction is pretty much what they, themselves, are seeing. Still, it's a good suggestion I'll have to consider.
As to the Ready Room, I admit to taking some liberties here, but the Nor'Vesa is a new model of the Rhode Island class, only built recently, and has several changes from the ships of the first run many years ago (the ship uses a newly-updated version of the warp drive system that was used on the Aurora-class and its nacelles are of that class instead of those normally seen on a Rhode Island, for instance). As every Federation Bridge in the game (with the exception of the Constitutions in their original configuration) has a Ready Room, I reasoned the class was given refits for improved quality-of-life aboard which included one. It isn't mentioned because, as members of the Romulan Republic, the crew of the ship wouldn't have known the first ships of the class were different in this regard.
Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it!
EDIT: I decided to re-word the part you mentioned to change the beginning from "The Commander..." to "Commander Rycho...". On reflection, it flows better, and avoids the jarring confusion of reference. Thanks again for the input! I should have some reviews ready on Sunday (weekend schedule is not going to let me work on them until then).
The reason I capitalized Commander was that it was referring to the post of absolute authority on a Romulan ship, rather than Rycho's actual military rank of Sub-Commander (the Nor'Vesa isn't a main starship of the Flotilla, so the High Command did not see any reason to promote him in order for him to assume command). Also, the crew -are- having trouble, themselves, getting used to treating Rycho as their commanding officer when The Commander was such a forceful and trusted figure until now, so that reaction is pretty much what they, themselves, are seeing. Still, it's a good suggestion I'll have to consider.
Very much so, it was a really nice piece :cool: I think in any other instance, or any other writer, there would not have been that, it was simply because the Superfine Romulan hottie is only known as the Commander ^_^
As to the Ready Room, I admit to taking some liberties here, but the Nor'Vesa is a new model of the Rhode Island class, only built recently, and has several changes from the ships of the first run many years ago (the ship uses a newly-updated version of the warp drive system that was used on the Aurora-class and its nacelles are of that class instead of those normally seen on a Rhode Island, for instance). As every Federation Bridge in the game (with the exception of the Constitutions in their original configuration) has a Ready Room, I reasoned the class was given refits for improved quality-of-life aboard which included one. It isn't mentioned because, as members of the Romulan Republic, the crew of the ship wouldn't have known the first ships of the class were different in this regard.
Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it!
Ahh, I didn't realise that they had all been upgraded to have ready rooms ^_^ And as you say, Romulan officers would likely not know I always took my reference for the USS Valkyrie from these deck plans :cool:
And no worries, I'll look forward to your thoughts on my entry, and hope you enjoy it
Excellent descriptions, Grylak, particularly of the crash sequence.
One nitpick, stylistically - when Emony tries to get up, you have one too many "in pain"s in that sentence. "...screaming as pain shot through her entire leg" would, I think, be sufficient. (She's certainly not screaming with grief, or glee, at that moment... )
You're right, reading back through, that does seem rather clunky. I'll edit that.
Glad everyone enjoyed this third part to the story. Of course, this leaves the question of what's going to come next for the crew. It'll be fun finding out with them.
The torpedo was detonated in the lower Ionosphere. I view the radiation from Hargh'pengs as being in that cloud vapour released when they detonate in game (also meaning the torpedo itself is not sitting there eminating radiation on the ship that launches them), so as the Sentinel flew through that, most (but not all) of the radiation would have become stuck to the ship. It may not be scientifically accurate, but it's how I view the game mechanics. Of course, when the Sentinel got down into the city, it could easily have been spreading radiation along it's crash route, and the question of residual radiation on the hull after the crash, which could be why the locals didn't board the ship, instead just setting up a quarantine. There will certainly be after action reports on this whole mess when people have recovered.
*******************************************
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
My entry is now in. As I said, this started off as a smaller deal that has blossomed into a large, in-progress story line across multiple installments crossover fanfiction of Star Trek and Lyrical Nanoha...AUing StrikerS a fair amount.
You guys are going to be the test bed that tells me if this sinks or if it swims. So let me know what you all think of everything right down to ship names. (I chose Gotterdammerung for the meaningfulness of having a ship named after the last opera in Robert Wagner's quartet with the translation 'Twilight Of the Gods' going up against something with nearly God-like power).
EDIT: Standard Disclaimers apply. Seven Arcs owns all Nanoha-related IPs.
This looks like it'll be fun. I simply created local versions of Nanoha characters... you created an actual crossover.
Please, expand this, possibly on FanFiction.Net, and be sure to send me a link--I want to read it.
This looks like it'll be fun. I simply created local versions of Nanoha characters... you created an actual crossover.
Please, expand this, possibly on FanFiction.Net, and be sure to send me a link--I want to read it.
This is actually my first L.C. Entry ever for the Forum.
I am working on expanding it further. The research for realism was done extensively as well as re-watching StrikerS to find important points at which to change up events. Plan is to put it on FF.net once I got a chapters of the first installment up to Hotel Augusta done up and ready to roll.
Thanks for the compliments. I am one of the few Fanfic writers who does not engage in the "Hy that cul! Lits duit!" Mentality that causes people to dismiss Fanfiction Crossovers as poorly written ideas that make no sense. I start with the idea and see how cool it is then figure out how workable it is and if if flies with the Physics of both Universes. Star Trek and Lyrical Nanoha practically make an explosive Science Fiction/Anime Nerdgasm on contact. (Seriously, you should see in my head the confrontation between Jail Scaglietti and Hakeev I have going on.)
EDIT: In case it got missed, the timing for this in Star Trek Online is just after the Temporal Ambassador mission is completed.
This is actually my first L.C. Entry ever for the Forum.
I am working on expanding it further. The research for realism was done extensively as well as re-watching StrikerS to find important points at which to change up events. Plan is to put it on FF.net once I got a chapters of the first installment up to Hotel Augusta done up and ready to roll.
Thanks for the compliments. I am one of the few Fanfic writers who does not engage in the "Hy that cul! Lits duit!" Mentality that causes people to dismiss Fanfiction Crossovers as poorly written ideas that make no sense. I start with the idea and see how cool it is then figure out how workable it is and if if flies with the Physics of both Universes. Star Trek and Lyrical Nanoha practically make an explosive Science Fiction/Anime Nerdgasm on contact. (Seriously, you should see in my head the confrontation between Jail Scaglietti and Hakeev I have going on.)
Heh.
I tend to draw A LOT of inspiration from Anime and Manga, though I know the physics don't always match up.
That's why, instead of regular crossovers, I tend to go more for Quantum-Mechanical Crossovers, what some might call Fusions though not exactly. What I do is I take characters and tech that might be interesting from one franchise, and tweak them a bit so they fit in the destination Franchise--basically, making 'local' versions of the imported characters: None of their source material powers, but the same name and physical appearance, some similarities in backstory, and similar personalities. :cool:
I will admit to a personal peeve: IMO, it's so easy to do that sort of thing badly (and I've seen examples) that you have to be pretty darn good with it to overcome my initial flinch reflex. Not that Trek is, itself, particularly sacred or high-culture, but...
I will admit to a personal peeve: IMO, it's so easy to do that sort of thing badly (and I've seen examples) that you have to be pretty darn good with it to overcome my initial flinch reflex. Not that Trek is, itself, particularly sacred or high-culture, but...
My challenge is in finally, and i hate to say it, but it feels weak by even my standards. I initially started writing this with a better story in mind, but over the course of writing, life happened and i'd completely lost interest after it failed to be more like i'd pictured in my head. Ironically, it fits well with how bad my earlier writing is, so it's perfect since i first started writing these on challenge 11.
@wraithshadow: A few typos in the opening paragraph, and of course some ?s snuck past you for the nonce, but overall a quite impressive tale.
And I was amused that the Geist's EMH, presumably a Mk II, actually seemed to have turned into Andy Di.ck...
Ha! you're way too quick for me sir. I was able to correct the ?'s but overall, i've noticed that they were coming up as incorrect before i posted, even though they were I've, so each one with a red underline became I?ve. Still, i'm glad you liked it, but i just wish i had made it a little stronger with the character development.
Comments
Also, Is there some tip or trick to posting a LC where every ", ', and - (which are fine in preview mode) doesn't become a ? upon submission and I have to do a number of edits to fix them? I'm reasonably sure I've got them all, but probably missed a couple.
unfortunately no, I use libreoffice, I see the same and I'm forced to edit nearly everytime.
Doesn't work. I tried that on my first one, it still came up as ? on the forum. The only way to do it is to write it either in the forum reply box, or in notepad. That's what I do. Then copy it into word for spell checking. Of course, this could then let the odd ? slip through if you edit something, unless you remember to go and fix that in the wordpad version, but copying the wordpad/notepad version is the best way to do it.
It also doesn't work posting on another forum where it goes up fine, and then copy the text off that website onto this one.
And since I'm replying, you can all expect my entry sometime tonight once I've proofread it. Didn't quite take the direction I intended, but that's what happens.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Really nice conclusion, I enjoyed it more than Part I, and glad to see that there was a hearing afterwards as well :cool:
Thoroughly enjoyed it :cool: Fantastic to see history from the Romulan perspective :cool: The one bit that jarred, was the reference to Nero, who was only a mining captain, probably not even know to the upper echelons of Romulan Command, but other than that, top stuff indeed :cool:
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
One nitpick, stylistically - when Emony tries to get up, you have one too many "in pain"s in that sentence. "...screaming as pain shot through her entire leg" would, I think, be sufficient. (She's certainly not screaming with grief, or glee, at that moment...
As jonsills said, fantastic description of the crash, that was a really nice entry :cool:
edit: and those of you that guessed that my story wasn't finished yet are correct.
And I assume it still isn't done?
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Proudly F2P. Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
Enjoy!
(Edit: Now I can finally enjoy reading everyone else's entries!
I got one that was going to be for LC #48 but ended up turning into something more then that. I am still polishing it up and checking it over and figured while doing so, I'd ask.
Pretty much anything goes wth the LC's so long as you give some reference to the challenge assigned :cool: If you were to call it 'LC #45 Free writing inspired by LC #48', then that will cover anything :cool:
Absolutely loved it :cool: Really nice build up of tension for what will come next :cool:
I only have two points of critique...
1. When Rycho was being initially briefed on the away team findings, one paragraph began 'The Commander' -- For a moment, I thought it was her, the Unnamed Commander, before realising it was meaning Rycho. Something I've started to do more, is only capitalise a rank when it is being used as address in speech, rather than reference (unless at the start of a sentence) eg:
"Captain Palmer!" the earnest lieutenant ran up to the willowy captain and handed her a PADD.
I admit, I haven't got into it as a hard and fast rule as it's still a new habit, but I think in this instance, given The Commander's non-identity, it might help distinguish between one of that rank, and her
2. Rhode Island (Nova) class ship's don't have ready rooms, although the Captain's Quarters are on deck one, directly opposite the bridge's port access door (Unless of course, Rycho's ship has had an upgraded bridge module
Other than those points, as mentioned, I really enjoyed the entry, and I only mention those as 'points of polish', rather than as criticism ^_^
You guys are going to be the test bed that tells me if this sinks or if it swims. So let me know what you all think of everything right down to ship names. (I chose Gotterdammerung for the meaningfulness of having a ship named after the last opera in Robert Wagner's quartet with the translation 'Twilight Of the Gods' going up against something with nearly God-like power).
EDIT: Standard Disclaimers apply. Seven Arcs owns all Nanoha-related IPs.
Glad you enjoyed it!
As to your points...
The reason I capitalized Commander was that it was referring to the post of absolute authority on a Romulan ship, rather than Rycho's actual military rank of Sub-Commander (the Nor'Vesa isn't a main starship of the Flotilla, so the High Command did not see any reason to promote him in order for him to assume command). Also, the crew -are- having trouble, themselves, getting used to treating Rycho as their commanding officer when The Commander was such a forceful and trusted figure until now, so that reaction is pretty much what they, themselves, are seeing. Still, it's a good suggestion I'll have to consider.
As to the Ready Room, I admit to taking some liberties here, but the Nor'Vesa is a new model of the Rhode Island class, only built recently, and has several changes from the ships of the first run many years ago (the ship uses a newly-updated version of the warp drive system that was used on the Aurora-class and its nacelles are of that class instead of those normally seen on a Rhode Island, for instance). As every Federation Bridge in the game (with the exception of the Constitutions in their original configuration) has a Ready Room, I reasoned the class was given refits for improved quality-of-life aboard which included one. It isn't mentioned because, as members of the Romulan Republic, the crew of the ship wouldn't have known the first ships of the class were different in this regard.
Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it!
EDIT: I decided to re-word the part you mentioned to change the beginning from "The Commander..." to "Commander Rycho...". On reflection, it flows better, and avoids the jarring confusion of reference. Thanks again for the input! I should have some reviews ready on Sunday (weekend schedule is not going to let me work on them until then).
Ahh, I didn't realise that they had all been upgraded to have ready rooms ^_^ And as you say, Romulan officers would likely not know
And no worries, I'll look forward to your thoughts on my entry, and hope you enjoy it
You're right, reading back through, that does seem rather clunky. I'll edit that.
Glad everyone enjoyed this third part to the story. Of course, this leaves the question of what's going to come next for the crew. It'll be fun finding out with them.
The torpedo was detonated in the lower Ionosphere. I view the radiation from Hargh'pengs as being in that cloud vapour released when they detonate in game (also meaning the torpedo itself is not sitting there eminating radiation on the ship that launches them), so as the Sentinel flew through that, most (but not all) of the radiation would have become stuck to the ship. It may not be scientifically accurate, but it's how I view the game mechanics. Of course, when the Sentinel got down into the city, it could easily have been spreading radiation along it's crash route, and the question of residual radiation on the hull after the crash, which could be why the locals didn't board the ship, instead just setting up a quarantine. There will certainly be after action reports on this whole mess when people have recovered.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
This looks like it'll be fun. I simply created local versions of Nanoha characters... you created an actual crossover.
Please, expand this, possibly on FanFiction.Net, and be sure to send me a link--I want to read it.
This is actually my first L.C. Entry ever for the Forum.
I am working on expanding it further. The research for realism was done extensively as well as re-watching StrikerS to find important points at which to change up events. Plan is to put it on FF.net once I got a chapters of the first installment up to Hotel Augusta done up and ready to roll.
Thanks for the compliments. I am one of the few Fanfic writers who does not engage in the "Hy that cul! Lits duit!" Mentality that causes people to dismiss Fanfiction Crossovers as poorly written ideas that make no sense. I start with the idea and see how cool it is then figure out how workable it is and if if flies with the Physics of both Universes. Star Trek and Lyrical Nanoha practically make an explosive Science Fiction/Anime Nerdgasm on contact. (Seriously, you should see in my head the confrontation between Jail Scaglietti and Hakeev I have going on.)
EDIT: In case it got missed, the timing for this in Star Trek Online is just after the Temporal Ambassador mission is completed.
Heh.
I tend to draw A LOT of inspiration from Anime and Manga, though I know the physics don't always match up.
That's why, instead of regular crossovers, I tend to go more for Quantum-Mechanical Crossovers, what some might call Fusions though not exactly. What I do is I take characters and tech that might be interesting from one franchise, and tweak them a bit so they fit in the destination Franchise--basically, making 'local' versions of the imported characters: None of their source material powers, but the same name and physical appearance, some similarities in backstory, and similar personalities.
What exactly are you referring too?
And I was amused that the Geist's EMH, presumably a Mk II, actually seemed to have turned into Andy Di.ck...
Ha! you're way too quick for me sir. I was able to correct the ?'s but overall, i've noticed that they were coming up as incorrect before i posted, even though they were I've, so each one with a red underline became I?ve. Still, i'm glad you liked it, but i just wish i had made it a little stronger with the character development.