College Essay on PW

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  • IVl - Harshlands
    IVl - Harshlands Posts: 17 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    "Perfect World.... Or is it?" that would catch there attention
  • Last - Harshlands
    Last - Harshlands Posts: 118 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    IVl - Harshlands wrote: »
    "Perfect World.... Or is it?" that would catch there attention

    Do not rush to smell the rose before contemplating its final hour.
  • Kryuke - Harshlands
    Kryuke - Harshlands Posts: 15 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Devoted - Lost City wrote: »
    essay on pw?


    here's a thought..


    "Hi, I'm Last. I have an addiction...

    lolololololololololololololololo l
  • Kryuke - Harshlands
    Kryuke - Harshlands Posts: 15 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Bond - Harshlands wrote: »
    I cannot believe this.

    "this game known as perfect world" - perfect world

    Hi, I'm the reader. What in the **** is Perfect World? Using "called" works as well but that's one less word and if you're gonna complain about that you might have childhood issues.

    "I admit this freely" - i admit this

    I admit this =/= I admit this freely =/= I admit this ashamedly =/= I admit this (fill in your own adverb here)

    "even go so far as to condemn" - condemn

    "still very much chained" - chained

    I don't see how you don't understand this. "Even go so far" indicates a level of impudence and contradiction that essentially FORMS THE THESIS OF MY ******N ESSAY. "Still" means they were chained before; "very much" gives a magnitude as opposed to "moderately chained" or "slightly chained."

    Jesus Christ kid, you remind me of the review board for academic journals, except much less intimidating and much more---what's the word--- ****. If you're gonna nitpick about my essay (or the very small, very unedited slab-of-bull**** portion of it), at least find legitimate mistakes. Anything else you would like me to educate you on?
    one day i wanna become a wrighter like yu.

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