College Essay on PW

Last - Harshlands
Last - Harshlands Posts: 118 Arc User
edited October 2009 in Dawnglory (EU)
How should i begin my hook? b:victory
Post edited by Last - Harshlands on
«1

Comments

  • Bloop - Harshlands
    Bloop - Harshlands Posts: 490 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    "In the Perfect World.."

    Edit* Actually, what kind of essay is it?
    60 / 250.
  • Last - Harshlands
    Last - Harshlands Posts: 118 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    I want it to be blue in a colorless world.
  • Konariraiden - Heavens Tear
    Konariraiden - Heavens Tear Posts: 6,505 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Here, I got an opening sentence for ya that'll guarantee you an A in whatever class you're taking...especially Business majors.

    "HI, BILLY MAYS HERE!"
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Yeah, it's me. Don't read to much into it, though; I'm only here for myself now, killin' time and chillin' when need-be. So sue me. Tch...
  • lifegod90
    lifegod90 Posts: 16 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Lol South Park FTW.b:bye
  • MurderPriest - Harshlands
    MurderPriest - Harshlands Posts: 35 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Depends on the class. For a communications class once, I used PWI as an example of a way people communicate on the internet. It was awesome.

    This is a direct quote from the essay "lol i pwn3d j00 n00b."
  • BeingHope - Harshlands
    BeingHope - Harshlands Posts: 5,013 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Mhmmmm, thats interesting..... Begin with....

    "A new world of adventures for people like you fails who don't understand this should leave" ROFL JK lmao >.<

    Geeeeeh how about.....

    "A place to escape from reality and become who you truly want to be or change yourself. A world of endless dreams......"

    xD......................................... b:chuckleb:laugh

    Rofl sorry, not the best at essays.. Stories, yes.... Essays however... b:sweat
    [SIGPIC]http://i933.photobucket.com/albums/ad175/beinghope/beinghopesiggie.png[/SIGPIC]
    I forgot!!! Thanks forsaken for the signature b:cute
    b:chuckle I love huge catshops LOL b:laugh
  • Devoted - Lost City
    Devoted - Lost City Posts: 3,634 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    essay on pw?


    here's a thought..


    "Hi, I'm Last. I have an addiction...
  • BeingHope - Harshlands
    BeingHope - Harshlands Posts: 5,013 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    essay on pw?


    here's a thought..


    "Hi, I'm Last. I have an addiction...

    b:chuckle omg lmao b:laugh love it! b:pleased
    [SIGPIC]http://i933.photobucket.com/albums/ad175/beinghope/beinghopesiggie.png[/SIGPIC]
    I forgot!!! Thanks forsaken for the signature b:cute
    b:chuckle I love huge catshops LOL b:laugh
  • Bond - Harshlands
    Bond - Harshlands Posts: 16 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    essay on pw?


    here's a thought..


    "Hi, I'm Last. I have an addiction...


    "... like many others who also play this game known as Perfect World. I admit this freely. However, there are those who claim to have shed this addiction and even go so far as to condemn the game they once loved as a broken system of corruption and a haven for socially crippled human beings. In actuality their thoughts and attention are still very much chained to this game, as demonstrated by their continual scrutiny and harassment of its community. This essay will seek to examine the inner motives and struggles of these people in an attempt to uncover the disturbing truths that drive such hypocrisy."
  • Paimage - Harshlands
    Paimage - Harshlands Posts: 1,017 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    "... like many others who also play this game known as Perfect World. I admit this freely. However, there are those who claim to have shed this addiction and even go so far as to condemn the game they once loved as a broken system of corruption and a haven for socially crippled human beings. In actuality their thoughts and attention are still very much chained to this game, as demonstrated by their continual scrutiny and harassment of its community. This essay will seek to examine the inner motives and struggles of these people in an attempt to uncover the disturbing truths that drive such hypocrisy."

    Are you an english teacher? good english right there manb:cool
  • BeingHope - Harshlands
    BeingHope - Harshlands Posts: 5,013 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Are you an english teacher? good english right there manb:cool

    O__O omg he is amazing... <.< what are you doing, get out there and write a novel!
    [SIGPIC]http://i933.photobucket.com/albums/ad175/beinghope/beinghopesiggie.png[/SIGPIC]
    I forgot!!! Thanks forsaken for the signature b:cute
    b:chuckle I love huge catshops LOL b:laugh
  • Aznchristmas - Harshlands
    Aznchristmas - Harshlands Posts: 95 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    "... like many others who also play this game known as Perfect World. I admit this freely. However, there are those who claim to have shed this addiction and even go so far as to condemn the game they once loved as a broken system of corruption and a haven for socially crippled human beings. In actuality their thoughts and attention are still very much chained to this game, as demonstrated by their continual scrutiny and harassment of its community. This essay will seek to examine the inner motives and struggles of these people in an attempt to uncover the disturbing truths that drive such hypocrisy."

    learn to make your words say more for less

    "this game known as perfect world" - perfect world
    "I admit this freely" - i admit this
    "even go so far as to condemn" - condemn
    "still very much chained" - chained
    "this essay..." - lolbad

    i am drunk
  • Bond - Harshlands
    Bond - Harshlands Posts: 16 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    learn to make your words say more for less

    "this game known as perfect world" - perfect world
    "I admit this freely" - i admit this
    "even go so far as to condemn" - condemn
    "still very much chained" - chained
    "this essay..." - lolbad

    i am drunk


    There's a difference between using many words to say nothing and using many words to say exactly what you want. Anyone with half a high school education can recognize that your changes have crippled the message by removing critical nuances and details. As for the "this essay" complaint, go read some academic journals and then get back to me.

    Though if you really were drunk, all is forgiven. Get off the computer and go get some ****.
  • Devoted - Lost City
    Devoted - Lost City Posts: 3,634 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    "... like many others who also play this game known as Perfect World. I admit this freely. However, there are those who claim to have shed this addiction and even go so far as to condemn the game they once loved as a broken system of corruption and a haven for socially crippled human beings. In actuality their thoughts and attention are still very much chained to this game, as demonstrated by their continual scrutiny and harassment of its community. This essay will seek to examine the inner motives and struggles of these people in an attempt to uncover the disturbing truths that drive such hypocrisy."

    i r am an addiction. did u write this last night? i hope this wasnt the highlight of ur night :<

    brb losing sleep over perfectworld. way to ruin my thanksgiving bond. b:cry
  • Aznchristmas - Harshlands
    Aznchristmas - Harshlands Posts: 95 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    There's a difference between using many words to say nothing and using many words to say exactly what you want. Anyone with half a high school education can recognize that your changes have crippled the message by removing critical nuances and details. As for the "this essay" complaint, go read some academic journals and then get back to me.

    Though if you really were drunk, all is forgiven. Get off the computer and go get some ****.

    "this essay" is fine, the rest of the sentence is loaded with baggage.

    what nuance have you gained by saying anything you've said?

    this game known as perfect world? - adds nothing, no substance

    there are those who claim that blah blah
    your subject is there, your verb is are, the object is "those who ..." b:cry clearly that's bad sentence structure

    all your words do is make your paragraph longer.
    anyone can see that you know big words.
    some of us can see that those big words are meaningless

    i'm not trying to flame (ok last night i was), but i'm curious as to why you think any of those additions are necessary
  • BeingHope - Harshlands
    BeingHope - Harshlands Posts: 5,013 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    "this essay" is fine, the rest of the sentence is loaded with baggage.

    what nuance have you gained by saying anything you've said?

    this game known as perfect world? - adds nothing, no substance

    there are those who claim that blah blah
    your subject is there, your verb is are, the object is "those who ..." b:cry clearly that's bad sentence structure

    all your words do is make your paragraph longer.
    anyone can see that you know big words.
    some of us can see that those big words are meaningless

    i'm not trying to flame (ok last night i was), but i'm curious as to why you think any of those additions are necessary

    b:chuckle Wow, you would be better than my languages teacher at school, she's a good person and all but she's a fail, she's re-teaching what we learned in elementary LOL
    [SIGPIC]http://i933.photobucket.com/albums/ad175/beinghope/beinghopesiggie.png[/SIGPIC]
    I forgot!!! Thanks forsaken for the signature b:cute
    b:chuckle I love huge catshops LOL b:laugh
  • MurderPriest - Harshlands
    MurderPriest - Harshlands Posts: 35 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    "this essay" is fine, the rest of the sentence is loaded with baggage.

    what nuance have you gained by saying anything you've said?

    this game known as perfect world? - adds nothing, no substance

    there are those who claim that blah blah
    your subject is there, your verb is are, the object is "those who ..." b:cry clearly that's bad sentence structure

    all your words do is make your paragraph longer.
    anyone can see that you know big words.
    some of us can see that those big words are meaningless

    i'm not trying to flame (ok last night i was), but i'm curious as to why you think any of those additions are necessary



    They pad out your essay to meet length requirements? That's what I do when I don't give a damn about the essays I write for college.

    It works, too. Just use big words and people eat that up.
  • Zinova - Harshlands
    Zinova - Harshlands Posts: 53 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Yo wtf that's my cube mule...
  • Dustinmurphy - Harshlands
    Dustinmurphy - Harshlands Posts: 564 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    You got a life write about that, oh wait....b:chuckle
    If anniversary pack threads keep getting made I'll keep trolling them until there isn't anymore!b:bye
  • Bond - Harshlands
    Bond - Harshlands Posts: 16 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    "this essay" is fine, the rest of the sentence is loaded with baggage.

    what nuance have you gained by saying anything you've said?

    this game known as perfect world? - adds nothing, no substance

    there are those who claim that blah blah
    your subject is there, your verb is are, the object is "those who ..." b:cry clearly that's bad sentence structure

    all your words do is make your paragraph longer.
    anyone can see that you know big words.
    some of us can see that those big words are meaningless

    i'm not trying to flame (ok last night i was), but i'm curious as to why you think any of those additions are necessary

    I cannot believe this.

    "this game known as perfect world" - perfect world

    Hi, I'm the reader. What in the **** is Perfect World? Using "called" works as well but that's one less word and if you're gonna complain about that you might have childhood issues.

    "I admit this freely" - i admit this

    I admit this =/= I admit this freely =/= I admit this ashamedly =/= I admit this (fill in your own adverb here)

    "even go so far as to condemn" - condemn

    "still very much chained" - chained

    I don't see how you don't understand this. "Even go so far" indicates a level of impudence and contradiction that essentially FORMS THE THESIS OF MY ******N ESSAY. "Still" means they were chained before; "very much" gives a magnitude as opposed to "moderately chained" or "slightly chained."

    Jesus Christ kid, you remind me of the review board for academic journals, except much less intimidating and much more---what's the word--- ****. If you're gonna nitpick about my essay (or the very small, very unedited slab-of-bull**** portion of it), at least find legitimate mistakes. Anything else you would like me to educate you on?
  • BeingHope - Harshlands
    BeingHope - Harshlands Posts: 5,013 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    I cannot believe this.

    "this game known as perfect world" - perfect world

    Hi, I'm the reader. What in the **** is Perfect World? Using "called" works as well but that's one less word and if you're gonna complain about that you might have childhood issues.

    "I admit this freely" - i admit this

    I admit this =/= I admit this freely =/= I admit this ashamedly =/= I admit this (fill in your own adverb here)

    "even go so far as to condemn" - condemn

    "still very much chained" - chained

    I don't see how you don't understand this. "Even go so far" indicates a level of impudence and contradiction that essentially FORMS THE THESIS OF MY ******N ESSAY. "Still" means they were chained before; "very much" gives a magnitude as opposed to "moderately chained" or "slightly chained."

    Jesus Christ kid, you remind me of the review board for academic journals, except much less intimidating and much more---what's the word--- ****. If you're gonna nitpick about my essay (or the very small, very unedited slab-of-bull**** portion of it), at least find legitimate mistakes. Anything else you would like me to educate you on?

    b:surrender He wrote really nicely though............. >.< Can't you appreciate what that guy wrote? Anyways.... I think it was your question to begin with.... b:chuckle
    [SIGPIC]http://i933.photobucket.com/albums/ad175/beinghope/beinghopesiggie.png[/SIGPIC]
    I forgot!!! Thanks forsaken for the signature b:cute
    b:chuckle I love huge catshops LOL b:laugh
  • Aznchristmas - Harshlands
    Aznchristmas - Harshlands Posts: 95 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    I cannot believe this.

    "this game known as perfect world" - perfect world

    Hi, I'm the reader. What in the **** is Perfect World? Using "called" works as well but that's one less word and if you're gonna complain about that you might have childhood issues.

    "I admit this freely" - i admit this

    I admit this =/= I admit this freely =/= I admit this ashamedly =/= I admit this (fill in your own adverb here)

    "even go so far as to condemn" - condemn

    "still very much chained" - chained

    I don't see how you don't understand this. "Even go so far" indicates a level of impudence and contradiction that essentially FORMS THE THESIS OF MY ******N ESSAY. "Still" means they were chained before; "very much" gives a magnitude as opposed to "moderately chained" or "slightly chained."

    Jesus Christ kid, you remind me of the review board for academic journals, except much less intimidating and much more---what's the word--- ****. If you're gonna nitpick about my essay (or the very small, very unedited slab-of-bull**** portion of it), at least find legitimate mistakes. Anything else you would like me to educate you on?

    LOL

    you sound intelligent to unintelligent people. don't "chained" and "condemned" already give a sense of magnitude? as opposed to tied and criticize

    essay still sucks
  • Nike - Harshlands
    Nike - Harshlands Posts: 74 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    I cannot believe this.

    "this game known as perfect world" - perfect world

    Hi, I'm the reader. What in the **** is Perfect World? Using "called" works as well but that's one less word and if you're gonna complain about that you might have childhood issues.

    "I admit this freely" - i admit this

    I admit this =/= I admit this freely =/= I admit this ashamedly =/= I admit this (fill in your own adverb here)

    "even go so far as to condemn" - condemn

    "still very much chained" - chained

    I don't see how you don't understand this. "Even go so far" indicates a level of impudence and contradiction that essentially FORMS THE THESIS OF MY ******N ESSAY. "Still" means they were chained before; "very much" gives a magnitude as opposed to "moderately chained" or "slightly chained."

    Jesus Christ kid, you remind me of the review board for academic journals, except much less intimidating and much more---what's the word--- ****. If you're gonna nitpick about my essay (or the very small, very unedited slab-of-bull**** portion of it), at least find legitimate mistakes. Anything else you would like me to educate you on?

    are you serious, guy? dependent on your long sentences b:chuckle
  • BeingHope - Harshlands
    BeingHope - Harshlands Posts: 5,013 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    LOL

    you sound intelligent to unintelligent people. don't "chained" and "condemned" already give a sense of magnitude? as opposed to tied and criticize

    essay still sucks

    LOL is that for me? Rofl *Hope eats all the information in only to find out it wasn't intelligent* Lmao, big words can appear huge to people like me b:surrenderb:cry
    are you serious, guy? dependent on your long sentences b:chuckle

    Oooh yeah those are long! b:shocked Give him a C- at the most!
    [SIGPIC]http://i933.photobucket.com/albums/ad175/beinghope/beinghopesiggie.png[/SIGPIC]
    I forgot!!! Thanks forsaken for the signature b:cute
    b:chuckle I love huge catshops LOL b:laugh
  • TrueWitch - Harshlands
    TrueWitch - Harshlands Posts: 153 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    "this essay" is fine, the rest of the sentence is loaded with baggage.

    what nuance have you gained by saying anything you've said?

    this game known as perfect world? - adds nothing, no substance

    there are those who claim that blah blah
    your subject is there, your verb is are, the object is "those who ..." b:cry clearly that's bad sentence structure

    all your words do is make your paragraph longer.
    anyone can see that you know big words.
    some of us can see that those big words are meaningless

    i'm not trying to flame (ok last night i was), but i'm curious as to why you think any of those additions are necessary

    Alan, teach me how to write my english essay b:surrender
  • Asparagus - Harshlands
    Asparagus - Harshlands Posts: 148 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    I like bacon.
    I wanna give you some good frequencies. 1710, 2.6, 2245, 3032, 400.
  • Last - Harshlands
    Last - Harshlands Posts: 118 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Do not rush to smell the rose before contemplating its final hour.
  • BeingHope - Harshlands
    BeingHope - Harshlands Posts: 5,013 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    Alan, teach me how to write my english essay b:surrender

    b:surrender Yeah! Someone teach sis how to write her english essay too......... b:laugh Need help in french here lmao
    [SIGPIC]http://i933.photobucket.com/albums/ad175/beinghope/beinghopesiggie.png[/SIGPIC]
    I forgot!!! Thanks forsaken for the signature b:cute
    b:chuckle I love huge catshops LOL b:laugh
  • AzaraxGore - Harshlands
    AzaraxGore - Harshlands Posts: 93 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    b:faint I'm not EXACTLY doing the same as you (as in an essay on pwi) but I am doing the "The Effects Of A Video Game On A Persons Personal Life; My opinion in the matter"

    I hope your school has "eLibrary" or you won't get much info elsewhere unless you are awesoem with google er something b:surrender
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ColdSteele - Lost City
    ColdSteele - Lost City Posts: 265 Arc User
    edited October 2009
    essay on pw?


    here's a thought..


    "Hi, I'm Last. I have an addiction...

    +1. I can understand liking the game and maybe playing a few hours per day... but imo writing one of your college essays about a game, tells me as an admissions employee, that you spend a little too much time on the computer.
    It's too bad but "free to play, pay to win"-sckye

    These "updates" are seeming more and more like downgrades.

    aryannamage: Not PWE GM's they are all greedy b:angry