Does kindness pay?

Cosoc - Sanctuary

every time i have been 'kind' to someone... which was a fair bit when i first started playing... like selling stuff for cheep etc to 'friends' they keep me in their friend list and the only time i hear from them is when they want something else cheep...
1 thing this game has taught me is how to say NO
i only sell to people i actually interact with in game now...
its heaps better that way

if u give something to someone when they ask for something they will expect u to do it again... sad but true

Swoop - Heavens Tear

WarrenWolfy - Sanctuary wrote: »

OK, I'm a sucker. I admit it. I feel sorry for people and always try to help out, even though I usually end up getting taken advantage of. I come from a long line of martyrs on my mother's side, so I think it's genetic.

Fortunately, PWI has been really good therapy. I've charged outrageous prices at my cat-shops, bought out Gold when it was low and caused the prices to jump up 15k, hoarded all the pigments whenever new fashions came out, ruthlessly under-sold competing cat-shops and driven them away from the most profitable locations, and generally just been an all-around no-holds-barred capitalist.

But the QQers say I would benefit from learning about "kindness".

"BAH!" I said to myself, but of course then the martyr genes kicked in.

See, during the mayhem of the Battle Pet Pack sale on Saturday I was buying and selling at a fierce rate. Then this happened:

Veno: "hi"
Me: "Heyas"
Veno: "can you help me?"
Me: "With?"

Now, I won't give you the full sob story, because frankly it wasn't a very good one. Most of you probably would be disgusted at how easily I caved, and I don't dare give the details lest my evil girlfriend reads it and starts re-thinking her relationship with such a bleeding-heart milquetoast.

In the end, though, I promised to see if I could somehow help a random Veno that was 20% short of getting a Herc manage to afford one anyway. I'd take a 2.5million loss if I just outright sold to her at the price she could afford. Some say that would have been the "kind" thing to do, but I kinda suspect it would have been the "sucker" thing to do, actually.

See, here's the thing: every time I asked a question as to why the Veno didn't just go buy gold herself and use it to get SoF at the lowest possible price, the conversation went silent. As long as we were discussing possible ways *I* could swing some of *my* financial leverage to get her a lower price, she responded, but whenever I suggested she could use some of *her* financial leverage in the same way for *her* own benefit, or offered to teach her how, she'd change the subject.

I probably made at least 25% profit during all the time that the Veno wouldn't take my advice, but to be fair I knew exactly what I was doing. I figured maybe we'd figure something out on Sunday, but of course that all went to pot when the sale ended early.

Which turned out to be GREAT news for the Veno!

Because gold prices plummeted, you see, and that meant she could buy gold, hold onto it for the next promised sale, then buy her Herc and still have funds left over! Yay! A happy ending for all!

Well, no. Because it turns out that even though I explained to the Veno that she needed to buy gold and wait, she didn't buy. She waited, though. When gold was just about to pass the price at which she could have still afforded the Herc (but minus any extra funds left over) I recommended she jump in and buy anyway, just to be sure. No response. In fact, she logged off.

So I suspect that in the end, to her I'm nothing more than an insurance policy. If the Veno manages to raise enough funds before the next sale to be able to afford her Herc, then I won't be needed. But should she fall short I suspect that that's when I'm supposed to fill in the gap and "kindly" take a loss so that she can get her Herc anyway.

So does "kindness" pay? If this was 1 year ago, I'd have probably already taken the loss. But PWI has taught me that a lot of times when people ask for "kindness", all they're really asking for is for you to play the game for them and give them a handout. We're supposed to be playing the game because we want to play, not using moral-manipulation to guilt others into playing it for us. Right?

Or am I being unkind?

Thought Id actually read what this thread is really about, b:laugh You think like me wolfy, it is about playing the game and not having it done for you. If you give handouts and play the game for them, they lack the gaming experience they would've gained from playing it themselves. As for your situation with the Veno, based on the fact that she failed to respond or changed the subject when not talking about you paying or giving money. I'd say she was yanking your chain. My mother uses the old "pretend-I-don't-have-enough-gold-and-see-if-I-can-get-things-cheaper" trick on WoW. I think this Veno may have been doing the same.

Swoop - Heavens Tear

Cosoc - Sanctuary wrote: »

every time i have been 'kind' to someone... which was a fair bit when i first started playing... like selling stuff for cheep etc to 'friends' they keep me in their friend list and the only time i hear from them is when they want something else cheep...
1 thing this game has taught me is how to say NO
i only sell to people i actually interact with in game now...
its heaps better that way

if u give something to someone when they ask for something they will expect u to do it again... sad but true

Amen to that, my friends are the same, except they only called when they wanted a healer. Like you I have also learned to say "No"

RisenPhoenix - Sanctuary

Tearvalerin - Sanctuary wrote: »

kindness will lead you to a shorter lifespan.

TV is right...the wicked never die young....

BratFury - Heavens Tear

I try to always be kind. But probably not to that extent.

Here is the thing.. in RL my husband is a kind man. Hardly a harsh word. Would give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it worse than he did. I've seen him give money to people when we really didn't have it to give.

But in this game. He's brutal. He's selfish, greedy and doesn't even want to share with me. He's allowing himself to be something here he just couldn't be in real life no matter how hard he tried. It would go against every fiber of his being.

That said, I think that is you. I think you probably are a really kind person IRL, and in this game you want to finally be or have something for just YOU. In reality there is nothing wrong with that. Its probably good therapy for ya! If you are friends with someone and choose to cut them a break, all is good. For a random person who probably will never return the favor, pass it on, or never look back...make your money and enjoy it

Tearvalerin - Sanctuary

But in this game. He's brutal. He's selfish, greedy and doesn't even want to share with me. He's allowing himself to be something here he just couldn't be in real life no matter how hard he tried. It would go against every fiber of his being.

thats me lol.

Elfaria - Dreamweaver

No kindness does not pay.
Its nice to be kind to others but when it comes to money, especially when they don't know you for at least a month, don't even trust them.

Ask yourself, "what did they ever do to me that gives them the right to have this kindness of mine?"

Nothing in this world is free.
My motto: The Equivalent Exchange.


EDIT ~
You might be like me that has trouble with saying the word 'NO and making excuses to stay away from topics you just can't say 'yes to. I feel so cursed.

Amarta - Sanctuary

Kindness is fine to an extent, depending on what it is they ask of.

"Can you help me kill Gouf/Khewy/Boss X?"

- Sure.

"Can you give me 100k?"

- Hell no.

Deceptistar - Sanctuary

BratFury - Heavens Tear wrote: »

But in this game. He's brutal. He's selfish, greedy and doesn't even want to share with me. He's allowing himself to be something here he just couldn't be in real life no matter how hard he tried. It would go against every fiber of his being.

Unless someone did some injustice to me in game, I think that would leave me witha big sense of guilt in Rl D;

BratFury - Heavens Tear

Deceptistar - Sanctuary wrote: »

Unless someone did some injustice to me in game, I think that would leave me witha big sense of guilt in Rl D;

Guilty enough to give them gold or coins for no reason? Not likely!

Deceptistar - Sanctuary

BratFury - Heavens Tear wrote: »

Guilty enough to give them gold or coins for no reason? Not likely!

I meant like being brutal and selfish in the game :x if I payed them after that, it would be even more wrong lol

Filet - Heavens Tear

Kindness in PWI should be reserved for friends and people you know. If a random stranger walks up to me asking for money I'm gonna say no, call me mean or cold-hearted but unless they have a really really good reason it's not happening

Aesthor - Heavens Tear

I was wondering when another one of your topics would show up. One of them got necro'd this morning...

BratFury - Heavens Tear

Deceptistar - Sanctuary wrote: »

I meant like being brutal and selfish in the game :x if I payed them after that, it would be even more wrong lol

Ok you get funniest post of the day! That was hilarious. Being on a PvE server its kinda hard to be brutal! I mostly meant he's really stingy in the game. With his money and his time! Not just with me either lol.. with anyone!

Main point was tho, that sometimes people like to be here, who they can't be out in the real world.

Sadie_Doll - Heavens Tear

Swoop - Heavens Tear wrote: »

I'm all for being kind to other players. I often buff and rez random players as I fly past. And have at times killed a few bosses. I don't however buff or rez beggers. Nor do I squad with players who send random squad requests just because you happen to be in the area. Which you reject, then they send you 5 more and follow you around begging you "If I rejected the first squad request, I'm not going to except the next 5 you send am I?"b:angry. And half the time they don't even try to fight the mobs, they just stand there like a starched **** in a thunderstorm. You feel like saying "At least try and fight one of them, y'know make an effort. A lot of the people who play this game are like children, everything has to be done for them. Those are the people who get nothing from me. Another thing I don't get is half of em are in factions. Isn't the whole point of joining a Faction, so you have people to help you? Why don't you ask them?

Oh Swoopy, so much anger. Damn that rap music b:laugh. As you know I too have been the victim of the lost puppys who follow me around on their knees, begging ,me to help them. If I cared I might actually have pity on them, but I don't. I just have one rule, if you're not a "DeadDoll", tell your story walking. In this world there is one absolute, the strong survive and the weak shall perish. DeadDolls live by their strength alone, uninhibited by foolish emotions. b:victory

WarrenWolfy - Sanctuary

BratFury - Heavens Tear wrote: »

But in this game. He's brutal. He's selfish, greedy and doesn't even want to share with me. He's allowing himself to be something here he just couldn't be in real life no matter how hard he tried. It would go against every fiber of his being.

That said, I think that is you. I think you probably are a really kind person IRL, and in this game you want to finally be or have something for just YOU.

Yup. That's me. b:thanks

I believe honest, fair competition in a game is fun. For example, I have a large collection of board games that I love playing with friends and family, and it's generally more fun to play when everybody is trying their best to win. On the other hand, I've seen couples who cannot play games competitively because there's emotional blackmail involved. One partner basically forces the other to "play nice", or else suffer real-life repercussions. That's not fun at all.

Nightwalken - Sanctuary

I didn't read all replys, but as a cleric everybody is expecting that we are helpful. Weird though, that as many times i needed help my self ppl was always busy, i was getting really "cheap" offers from "friends", ppl from certain factions we're KS as as cleric i don't have enough problems with grinding etc. I use to give away mats i didn't need, DQ stuff etc. I mean i didn't give all my lootie away, but i could always spare hew DQ items which ppl were missing, but rarly i got any thing in return. So first i become factionless, cause i didn't see much point in joining any factions after my last faction collapsed and since then i'm getting occasional help from random ppl. Well i could say there is few individuals, which helps me when help is needed, some even remember i needed some quest and invite me with out me asking them for help 100 times.
But then again PWI and all other similiar games are simulations of some real life with or without fantasy stuff. So ppl react like in real life too and as real life one have to run along and survive. But that doesn't change fact that i'm bored as hell, cause at this lvl game give me only one option, which is to grind like 24/7 to get some where.

Swoop - Heavens Tear

Nightwalken - Sanctuary wrote: »

I didn't read all replys, but as a cleric everybody is expecting that we are helpful. Weird though, that as many times i needed help my self ppl was always busy, .

Out of the mouth of babes. That seems to be the way the world works. A lot of people in game also think that Clerics are clairvoyant. They ask for a res, without ever telling you where they are. "I'm sorry, my mind-reading powers don't seem to be working"