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Review Trade: Child of the Night
saiyaku87
Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 0 Arc User
Child of the Night
NW-DTW8XKSBH
NW-DTW8XKSBH
Summary:
During your last visit to the local market you overheard about bandit attacks on caravans outside Neverwinter.
Being a caring & devoted citizen you simply have to go out and investigate.
- This quest was built for soloing entirely. It is highly recommended you go alone, otherwise you'll just own the whole thing, lol.
- Inventory slots needed: 5-10.
- Duration: 30-40min if you rush it. Over 1h overall.
- Combat: Medium.
- Exploration: High - lots of things to discover if you wander around. I've hidden plenty of stuff.
- Dialogue: Very high. A lot of dialogue & plenty of options and turns.
- Map transition count: 6.
- Roleplay: Normal.
- Lorefriendly: Not really. I used Lore NPC's with different story and names.
Tips:
- Don't just follow the main path, stray a little and you might find some fun stuff.
- Some dialogue options with yellow offer a little more explanation on the story.
- Not all encounters are tied to the quest progression.
Hey guys, I could use a review on my first foundry quest and ofc I'll do one in return (I'll do one even if you just ask me, haha).
Overall it's not THAT long, but it can be - depending on what you're doing.
I tried to balance the combat with the dialogue and the exploration.
For now nothing is changed since v1, but I plan on adding more secret stuff and eventually making a campaing about it if it gets positive feedback.
Note:
- The extended dialogue in the forest is just me testing some mechanics, it's not relevant to the story, so I apologize if it's misleading.
- When you have to find Devin's House the glowing trail points you to an NPC outside the house for some reason. I can't fix this. The entrance is the door behind him, on the left. Click here.
Thanks for everyone that rated and reviewed this and thanks for everyone that helped me polish it : )
~
| Changelog 05.02.2014 | v1.2
- Fixed dialogue spelling and grammatical errors.
- Fixed objects and their collision.
- Added an extra dialogue for Devin.
- Removed the book with the labyrinth instructions.
- Fixed NPC names.
| Changelog 03.02.2014 | v1.1
- Removed burning down the carriage.
- Removed the Ring of Death.
- Changed appropriate dialogue options and added some more.
- Changed some object names.
- Fixed more typos.
- Removed the annoying red fog in the crypts events.
- Added an invisible wall in the Main Crypt Room so players can no longer exit it before the appropriate event.
- Added some subtle hints for the second part of the campaign.
- Changed some lightning effects.
| Changelog 02.02.2014 | v1
- Removed Lantern, now players can pick up fire from the burning debris.
- Fixed some encounters and how they appear.
- Fixed some dialogue mis-coloring, spelling errors and content.
- Added more secret NPC's and sidequests.
- Mind Devourers in the Stables are no longer timid, thus preventing them from going outside the stable.
Post edited by saiyaku87 on
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Comments
I have a post in this thread with 2 available to choose from if you like. Both around 26min. One is more polished than the other. Take your pick.
http://nw-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?597161-2-Ready-for-Review-trade
Sure thing, I'll do both in a few, running another one right now
Thanks ^^
-First it doesn't tell you where to go, probably a game bug. Have the map point be the same name as the quest log text for destination to compensate for this.
- First map I couldn't leave. Using the exit I dropped the quest and had to restart, exit same way I was ok to continue. Giving us an exit transition fromt he map will make it smoother.
- First map you examine the carrigae the text is all in yellow, then switch to blue for DM. So far the rest of your examine dialogs are blue. Consistency issue.
- 1st map, I couldn't read the construction sign before building a ramp. (just a mention in case you want us reading first)
- You have a great dialog at the end of the map, at first I though what no option for No fear?
- In this dialog she speakes peopel not people after I replied Dishonor.
- Same 1st map there is a place where a spider lives. I suggest blocking the backside off to rprevent wandering off the stage. (game feild)
- At the end of the map near the NPC there is a mushroom that I can see up it's stem.
- Talking to the Urchin girl, we arranged a metting. Think you mean "meating".
- In Delvin's home, Near the stairs to basement, Lamps hanging in mid air. Posts don't reach the ceiling.
- In basement the Elf looks to be comanding his crew, dialog says he is managing supplies. MAybe change to giving orders to workers or such.
- Next map is like a maze. Lots of wide open nothing. I can see why you have it so clean. And Iwon't elude to that.. but hrmm.. What can you do.
- Over all every encounter -- You should move them around, set them up iin some config that is not default. Some pop when you get close could be spread out in nearby bushes. A group pops in the middle of the road, a group this large would be seen from a distance. You can spread them around so they spring from hiding places.
-- Some things we examine should maybe just go away after we are done so we can't go through the dialog and action again with no outcome.
-- Loved the forest fire, realistic. But why couldn't I use the existing fire to start my own?
-- Some great effects so far!!
-- Was that a very intricate timed sereis of effects in that dungeon? Nicely done!
And that is about where I am. I will finish, I am interested to see the end. You are on the road for a 5 star long quest here . Once a few things get fixed. The no exit on first map is a big sour note right atfter a good start. Some may just dump it.
As for the construction sign: it's not necessary at all, it's just for immersion (the npc actually exists), so using it in particular order is not rly important xD you can read it, but when you have to build the ramp it (for some reason) overlaps lol idk why, but it's not that important ^^
the maze was supposed to be empty crypts haha so yeah they should be empty
and you couldn't leave? did you try the mist? the woman gives you a ring and you should be able to leave through the mist portal on the right?
no, no, the mist is on the right... i should just add a trail to it haha, the mist portal is on the right, inside the forest, of where the woman is ^^
1. true, it doesn't show you a starting trail but that's because i made it an "overview map", as in players can enter the forest path from anywhere... otherwise i might have to choose a specific door and that annoys a lot of ppl, including me
2. the spiders are placed there intentionally
3. for the bandits: i selected for them to appear immediately but i think the foundry is bugging there because they still appear after their quest link starts
4. i'm not sure which ones you are talking about, though? it would be unrealistic for something to disappear just because you examined it : D
The combat was easy for me, challenging at times, and I am a weak 46. No complaints here! I didn't find much else wrong. Text looked good. I still seemed to miss a side thing and couldn't do one dialog option. Will find it my next time through! The only thing that was common was the mobs. Always popping int heir tight groups. SOme can be awaiting us and allowed to roam more. And maybe some that get trapped behind a closed door after we find a campsite, you can delete so we don't stay in combat with them forever. Eventually i was freed to heal but I had to fight one and risk it to do so. Just FYI.
As to above.
1. Your Map transition choice is Forest Path, the Quest says find the scene at the path. I think both should have "Forest Path" so the quest journal note matches the destination you are looking for. I have allot of map points for quests so since the game didn't point me to it...
2. Aye, I like the later use of um.. after meeting spiders. But you can then go further past them. You then see un edited area and can run outside the desired explore area. 1-2 invisible walls would fix that there. Rest of the map, zone walls keep players in your movie set.
4. No, the dialog ability to go away. If you have a jar of beer, dialog says you drink it. I would vanish the jar you drank and replace with a blank jar, no dialog on it. So I can't keep trying to drink an empty cup. When we open the trap door it looks like what we used becomes static.
I did find the portal exit this time. Since it was already there and not interactable I didn't look to check it. So far away from her I didn't count it first time. I think others will miss it too. When we come it it is decoration. When it becomes a portal there is no change in appearance to make you get close and see. The stange purple ball left in her absence made me immediately think bug. Though I ran end to end to be sure (the first time). Have it move more in our path? A new one appear closer?
thank you for the review ^^
1. Fixed and updated, you must have missed it since you already started the quest haha ^^
2. Oh i might have missed to place a few invisible walls, will fix^^
3. Oh, i see what you mean now. i left some of that because players often click [continue] on accident (even happens to me), or they just want to re-read it again. but i will note it down and change them ^^
4. well i can't make a trail to it for some reason.. also right after she gives you the ring there is yellow colored text that says "the mist in the forest"
Yea, I will just add a new quest object that sends the player to the portal and draws attention to it^^
thanks friend
I've finished your quest. There was lots of exciting things happening in this quest! Just checking, is this quest meant to be the start of a campaign? The story seems unfinished.
Here's some of my thoughts and suggestions:
General thoughts and impressions:
- Good and above-average quest overall. The story was quite coherent, except at some points which I will go into more detail below.
- A few typos and odd phrases. I will go into more detail later too.
- I really liked the escaping from the collapsing crypt scene.
- Sometimes the character stood still when interacting with things
- Encounters were well-balanced throughout
- I got the riddle wrong. Is there a correct answer?
- Was this supposed to be the first of a campaign? I was surprised when the quest ended. I thought we would go back and see who was robbing the crystal.
That's it for general stuff. Now, to be more nitpicky:
Some specific problems:
Typos:
- typo with the note. Should say "foreign" instead of "foreing" and "vitally" instead of "vitaly"
- The woman when you first meet her says "wago" instead of "wagon"
- Iva says "even swordfight!" which is grammatically incorrect. I would say swordfighting or fencing
- 'threteaned' should be threatened
- the dialogues of Devin's guards fail in their sarcasm. I couldn't tell in what way were they digging at the player.
- in the Gnoll anatomy book, it should say "thorough" instead of "throughout"
- in the brief history or spellusers book, it should say "ceased" instead of "seized"
- "artisian" should be spelled "artisan" (unless this is a term you have made up)
- meditaion = meditation
- was a renown witch = renowned witch or witch of renown
- proved his power = demonstrated its power
- On the Mother's grave, little efford = little effort
- When Goddess Nyx is speaking, she should say "its" instead of "it's"
Now, I don't usually do this, but I have a few plot point issues. Some things didn't really make sense so I just need you to clarify for me:
The plot:
- Was good, but, as I mentioned earlier, the quest doesn't seem finished or have a proper ending. When I removed the fog, I was surprised to see the rewards chest there. I was under the impression I was going back to help Devin again.
- Alright, I had bit of a gripe with this part: Why did you make the player burn the wagon?
It's not a story-essential point, but I don't like being forced to do things which seem illogical or contrary to my character. I thought the player was supposed to be good and went off to investigate in order to help? Why then, would I be burning evidence for a crime I didn't even commit? Why am even told that I feel guilty? It didn't make any sense at all.
- the earlier plot points, with going to the merchant in Protector's Enclave and giving the ring to the mysterious traveller were... a bit confusing. If I were to summarise the story, they don't even factor into it. The main characters from my point of view would be Iva, Nyx and Devin. Once the story focused on those characters, it really hit the ground running.
- speaking of the death ring, why does Nyx give it to you in the first place? Maybe it's supposed to be a mystery, but now knowing the whole story, I still can't make heads or tails out of why.
Now, some about your environments:
Environments:
- It's been mentioned earlier, but I think you need a clearer way on that first map to transition out of it and go back to Protector's Enclave. I didn't see any portal to exit or anything.
- Make sure you change the names of the object details themselves. There were a few interactable objects with names like "Dynamic rubble 01" which I had to interact with as part of the quest and it detracted from the experience.
- I saw a "Go to next map" transition somewhere. You better check that.
- In Devin's underground crypt area, there's a portal behind a door near the start that leads you straight to the Mother's tomb room. Is that meant to be there or just a leftover from testing?
- I'm not so sure about that red fade-in that appears when the crypt is collapsing. It didn't look quite right to me.
Anyway, that is all. I rated it 5 stars because I expect, if you fix and improve this quest, that is what it will deserve. Currently, I'd personally rate it 4/5.
I will note on your questions as clearly as possible:
Q: Was this supposed to be the first of a campaign? I was surprised when the quest ended. I thought we would go back and see who was robbing the crystal
A: Yes, it is. I was thinking of making the quest longer, but then I thought of just cutting it in campaigns.
I am working on the second part right now, so the more positive feedback this gets, the better ^^
Q: Was good, but, as I mentioned earlier, the quest doesn't seem finished or have a proper ending. When I removed the fog, I was surprised to see the rewards chest there. I was under the impression I was going back to help Devin again.
A: See above ^^
Q: Alright, I had bit of a gripe with this part: Why did you make the player burn the wagon?
It's not a story-essential point, but I don't like being forced to do things which seem illogical or contrary to my character. I thought the player was supposed to be good and went off to investigate in order to help? Why then, would I be burning evidence for a crime I didn't even commit? Why am even told that I feel guilty? It didn't make any sense at all.
A: Well initially I thought of it like "People know I've come here, they might think I did this" kind of thing. I could remove the burning, though, it's not plot essential.
Q: the earlier plot points, with going to the merchant in Protector's Enclave and giving the ring to the mysterious traveller were... a bit confusing. If I were to summarise the story, they don't even factor into it. The main characters from my point of view would be Iva, Nyx and Devin. Once the story focused on those characters, it really hit the ground running.
A: Well the story doesn't really center around them, they're just plot devices used to aim the player at Iva. The player can't find iva on their own and the letter, which you don't understand, is the only lead. So the player has to find Iva. The merchant only knows she's somewhere in blacklake.
And the mysterious traveler was the only other NPC i could use in blacklake, so the options were very limited.
Q: speaking of the death ring, why does Nyx give it to you in the first place? Maybe it's supposed to be a mystery, but now knowing the whole story, I still can't make heads or tails out of why.
A: Very good point, indeed. At first Nyx was supposed to be a by-standing, amoral goddess, but then I made her hostile.
I will just remove the ring altogether and the NPC's which interact with it. It uses space anyway, haha.
Q: It's been mentioned earlier, but I think you need a clearer way on that first map to transition out of it and go back to Protector's Enclave. I didn't see any portal to exit or anything.
A: When Nyx gives you the ring she says in yellow text "The Mist on the left".
But anyway, this is obsolete now, because I added a location point ^_^
Q: I saw a "Go to next map" transition somewhere. You better check that.
A: Sure will :O
Q: In Devin's underground crypt area, there's a portal behind a door near the start that leads you straight to the Mother's tomb room. Is that meant to be there or just a leftover from testing?
A: That is intentional.
It's there because I added a campfire to the tomb.
If I didn't add a campfire to the tomb, then players would teleport to the entrance when they died inside the tomb, which will break the quest if they die after the crypts start collapsing.
And I build the map like that and placed the portal there, because when they use the campfire they will re-spawn at it every time.
Even when dying AFTER the tombs, which will make it impossible for them to leave without the portal
Q: I'm not so sure about that red fade-in that appears when the crypt is collapsing. It didn't look quite right to me.
A: It was supposed to be smoke mixed with magic, but to be honest it irritates me as well. Removed.
Thank you again for reviewing and I will hop on fixing the rest ^^
Also pm'd you :P
Ah, right. Cool! I look forward to the next installment then
To me, that's not the first thing that goes into my head and it's a weird mentality to have. If you happened to stumble upon a dead body while you're out bushwalking, what would you do? Call the police, I hope. Not hide the body and burn it so people don't think you killed them. That is way more suspicious, don't you think?
Ah, that makes sense. It's important to make sure characters act in line with their motives. Maybe Nyx could have a good twin sister that's trying to help Iva, hence, give you stuff to point you in Iva's general direction? Just a thought as to how to make sense of the mysterious woman and make the plot make more sense, without changing it too radically.
Well they DO live in a different universe and with medieval ideas and morals which are... not really always positive, haha.
But you have a point. Although it looks cool, I will just remove the burning altogether ^^ And I will add a dialogue in which you notify someone about the accident.
That is actually a good idea, I will note that down. I will have to make a few adjustments to the dialogue after the first encounter with Nyx, and a few cosmetic ones, but it's a great suggestion, thank you
If you need a review I'm always available ^^
I agree with rigellia that the material before meeting Iva seemed superfluous. Since it is a long story it might be helped to cut that portion. It would be a shame to lose that first map I know but you have so much else going on I don't think it would detract from the main story but help get the player on track earlier.
I did feel that Devin was a little cold at the end. There are some animations that could help with that and maybe the dialogue could reflect what happened to him. Unless he's kind of a cold person, I suppose?
Of course since it is a long story that means there are more of the little fixes that go along with it. Here are the notes with the ones I found.
Play through notes:
-A couple of the grass clumps on the way to the spider area on the first map are floating. It is only because the ground is contoured there. You probably just need to push them in deeper.
-you could also push down some of the mushrooms after the roadblock
-I picked 'dishonor' as the response to the fear question and in the Unknown Woman's response "people" has the l and e transposed.
-I was nasty to the merchant and when he tells me where to go next there is an incomplete code for [Missioninfo] before the word Blacklake
-in Iva's conversation when she explains why she did not attack the woman in question she said "I didn't had a weapon" instead of "have"
-when I asked why the letter made Iva sad she responded "The letter was send" instead of "sent". She uses send instead of sent in the next two cases as well in the same conversation.
-the painting Devin has me look at in his house still has the default name of Wizard 03
-the books on the bookshelf are great! However in the one about Spellusers "let" should be "led" I believe
-the pet intellect devourers are great but still have their default numbers on them
-When Devin is explained who Nyx is, he needs a capital I in "as i said"
-when I asked Devin why Nyx wanted Iva he says that her type "can create children very often" but I got the impression from the rest of the conversation that this should be "cannot", is that right?
-when I first talked to Nyx at the finale the dialogue reads "speeks" instead of "speaks"
-further in the dialogue "presence" has an extra S.
-later on "friends" should be "friend's"
-later she said "answer very good", that should be "answer very well" or "give a good answer"
-I answered woman for the riddle: in that response "strength" has the T and the H transposed
-after the fight with Nyx, when talking to Devin "casted" should just be "cast"
-the hanging chain to leave the dungeon still has its default number
-in the dead soldier's interaction I thought it was very odd I was desecrating his body, especially since I am a cleric! Maybe "search" would be better? And in the journal entry "troupe" should be "troop" in theory (troupe is for theater, not the military) but awkward. "Unit" or "company" would be better here, I think.
-the snow map confused me: There was already a fire at the spawn point and I was looking for teeny tiny pieces of wood for the fire when there was the broken wagon and pallets on the battlefield. If they were too big to carry....well, the first thing I found was an axe, right? It didn't quite make sense there.
-after defeating Nyx on the ice and speaking to Devin he has "send" in his dialogue again, that should be "sent" again
-right now you have two interactions on the black fog over the escape tunnel. You probably don't want to do that and just have the "sprinkle" interaction from the Story tab.
If you are up for a longer foundry Icewind Dale is my new one, but it clocks in at just under an hour. If you don't have time that's ok too.
(Un)Academic Field Work Foundry Campaign: NWS-DAPZB2CTZ
I noticed one typo. The Mercenary Representative in Protector's Enclave says "itnerst"
If you have the time and wouldn't mind reviewing my foundry quest, I would really appreciate it. It is named Happy Fun Time Adventures NW-DHKVN3M34.
Forest path, nice world building, kinda eerie. Werewolf encounters kinda generic. Love that arch! Very grand, mysterious. Oooooh, spider acid! Two moons!!! Bandit Ambush assassin -- still a fairly generic encounter. Not getting a feel for the plot yet. Was I supposed to be able to climb around the barricade? That cart sure was going fast when it fell over.
Following the blood trail, liked that
"... you found a letter adressed simply to Iva" -- "addressed". "The letter is in a foreign language that you do not understand." The letter WAS in a foreign language. If you're gonna start with past tense, stay in past tense.
Those two crates are gonna be heavy to carry! Ah, that's what they are for. But I could easily run around it, near the spiders.
Unknown woman was clearly visible before I reached the marker that said an unknown woman appears. "... your name is not of the most extravagant ones." Did you mean, "your name is not ONE of the most..."? How can she both look irritated and completely calm? "Alright, what was the question again?" Alright isn't a word, please use "All right".
"To feel your loved one tender..." should be "To feel your loved one's tender..."
"Yes, honor often drives a person to do things, beyond his desires and wishes." Consider using a gender neutral pronoun like "their desires and wishes.". "Some peopel value it..." should be "people".
I like that this is a hugely branched dialog. That must have taken a lot of time! Did it make any difference?
Nice interlude in PE. "... it belonged to some acquintances..." = "acquaintances". "The attempts to get up again" = "He attempts to get up again".
Go to MissionInfo]Blacklake -- looks like a malformed MissionInfo tag. "She has gone place, met peole" -- "met people".
Blacklake District: "I just wanted to see your upclose." = "up close." Also, she's not wearing any armor. "She smiles continuously at you." Hmmm. She continues to smile? What is a flower cup?
Talking to Blacklake Urchin -- Iva. "You realize she wasn't as weak as you though.OOC]" -- "You realize she isn't as weak as you think." And fix the tag. Tenses should agree from sentence to sentence. "A elf was carrying it." -- "An elf...."
"I'm half, if not twice as smart than all those snot-nosed 'Nobles' in Protector's Enclave are,...." Half as smart, and twice as smart? Also, you have two verbs in that sentence. "I'm at least as smart, if not twice as smart, as all those snot-nosed "nobles" in Protector's Enclave"....
Is that true vampire lore? Never heard that about vampire children.
"The letter was send to...." = "sent to"
"... and send it there" -- "... sent it there".
"That village was very peaceful and loving, it is very dear to me." -- "WAS very dear." Also, villages can't be loving. Who at the village was loving? The villagers?
"then it was Her who send them" -- "... She who sent them".
I doubt a vampire would haunt me for long.
"... the opposite door of the Driftwood Tavern" implies the door is part of Driftwood Tavern. "The door opposite the Driftwood Tavern"?
I like Devin's house. Full of life!
Devin isn't standing in the middle of the room. When you write that he has not removed his head from the book -- he is staring at us, with the book by his side.
Servant G'Haol is cute
Painting that Patron Devin has the default name, Wizard Painting 03 or something like that.
"Can smell the odor of dead rats", can probably just say "Can smell dead rats".
"His hungry eyes swept through her entire body..." He can see inside her body? His hungry eyes swept her entire body might be better. Not sure what you mean by "summerset sun". Somerset, like in England? A midsummer sun? Warming her face like a sunrise? Maybe?
"She felt week in the knees" -- "weak in the knees". "Find that appeasing" = might want to use the word "appealing" there.
"Brief history of potent spellusers" -- isn't "magic users" the D&D term? "I am a practicing artisian" -- "artisan". "Those things are easily revelead..." = revealed. "Searched for her with that Scrying Ball..." -- don't capitalize unless it's a name. How hidden could she be? She was standing in the one spot every single visitor to the Blacklake District sees.
When teleporting into the petting zoo, the FIRST ladder says "teleport back", while the one within the zoo says "teleport". Maybe should be the other way around?
Biology section: "... different animals carced in the side of the books" -- perhaps "carved on the spines of the books".
"... and so, with this throughout illustration" -- thorough? -- "... is not indeed a fith limb" -- fifth. Are all gnolls male? Why would scientists assume other humanoids would be arranged differently than humans?
I must have missed why Devin didn't know there were demons in his dungeon.
"... they managed to slipped this far". Not sure. They weren't slipping, and tense doesn't agree. "They managed to penetrate this far?", but then, there wasn't any resistance, and I can't imagine demons being that interested in sneaking. Also, the second wave of demons appeared right at the crystal, so, clearly, appearing there was no trouble for them.
Oh hey, call-back to the petting zoo
"It is not the Crystal that is Bad, but my inability to know how to use it to cure Iva". Don't need to capitalize Bad. "The Crystal is not, in itself, bad. Ignorance is bad. I do not know how to use it to cure Iva."
"Let me explain it in more simpler ways..." Just "simpler ways". If life is the core of all magic, what is the secret to necromancy? Isn't that the magic of death? Of the five main schools of magic, only one is powered by life.
"... proper aptitude waves..." Amplitude?
"... re-animated most of the dead corpses" -- corpses are always dead. Until they aren't, I guess.
"... nothing else that's lethal to your life" -- "to your life" kinda goes without saying when you're talking about lethal things.
Instead of talking to Blue Cultist Apprentice Corpse, cover the dead body with an invisible interactable and just treat that as a contact. Will allow you to get your dialog in without swinging the camera around to look at the dead body.
Also, it's "lies silently", not "lays".
Cool portal!
I defeated Goddess Nyx in about fifteen seconds. Her helper demon wasted time walloping Devin. I don't think a goddess should die so easily.
She came out of nowhere pants?
If I didn't kill Nyx, what happened? Her body fell to the ground and faded like all corpses do.
Mister Devin, I JUST defeated a God in human form.
Crystal is called Magic Crystal 01.
Hanging Chain 01 wants to be named something else.
"Such magneficent creatures+ -- magnificent.
"seperate paths" -- separate.
---
Okay, that took two hours.
I was interested for about half that, but for the second half, I just wanted it to be over. Turning it into a campaign might be the right way to go with this.
Not sure how the lore meshes with Forgotten Realms, but I'm no expert on that. It's just really way too long as it is now. I liked the collapsing labyrinth, but it was super easy to find the diary with the hint Devin gave, so why not just skip the labyrinth entirely? Also, not quite sure what the whole winter map at the end was about. Couldn't we have had the final confrontation in with the crystal? I dunno.
Needs to be a lot shorter. Again, I was a total fan of it through the first hour, but even then, I think I'd have been happy if it had fit into half an hour.
Thanks again for reviewing mine!
Most of my other comments have been picked up above, but here's a few additional notes which might be helpful!
- In Merchants Guild Representative's dialogue, "Are you thretening me?" should be "threatening"; the response: "We're both resonable adults" should be "reasonable"; "attempt to show some itnerest" should be "interest"; "shrivels his nouse" should be "nose"; "The privillege of holding that letter" should be "privilege".
- In one of the bookcases in Patron Devin's underground section, "misssing right leg" should be "missing".
- In Patron Devin's dialogue in the dungeon area, "with hsi mouth closed" should be "his".
- In Patron Devin's dialogue in the first crystal scene, "Crystal ot help Iva" should be "to".
- In Patron Devin's dialogue in the second crystal scene, "on the mortal coil" sounds a bit strange - might be worth rewording this; "body in which she resigns in" should be "resides".
And I will check Icewind Dale as well, melinden
I will go on now and fix some of these things, but here are a few answers on some of your questions, tipadknife (keep in mind that my first language is not english, haha, hence the majority of spelling and grammatical errors XD)
You have no idea, haha, it took hours and editing it to fix spell errors takes minimum 15 minutes XD
And nope, no difference. Just for fun.
This quest isn't lorefriendly, though... plus not much about children in vampire lore, and even less vampire children created by Gods, so uh
Nyx can't go around like normal people, for obvious reasons xD
And Iva hid herself with a spell, which was explained earlier in the dialogue.
So she would look like a urchin to everyone that would see her standing there ^^
I'm not sure what you mean here... science is really weak in medieval times (as we can see by the D&D setting), so they have no idea what they're looking at...
Because they serve the goddess...
A Goddess > a practicing mortal magician.
No, the summoner was floating high in the air, you could notice him if you pan your camera up.
He was trying to steal the crystal with magic and when you defeat the first wave he comes down and summons his minions.
Not really, necromancy reanimates the dead or summons demons, but no one, except the Gods, has control over death.
And to use necromancy you have to be alive, no?
Therefore you use some of your life essence to use that magic...
As I said, this quest isn't lore-friendly because I'm not well acquainted with D&D lore, but I doubt it strays far from common fantasy lore.
She cannot die, you're only fighting the body she possessed. If she's to be WAY stronger she can't be in that body because it will tear apart by her power, lol...
*caughs* Goddess *caughs*
Once again, that is the body she is using to go around the mortal world, so while it has much more endurance, it's still mortal.
She is not.
Working on it.
Becase 1. I worked too hard on it xD 2. The labyrinth is not tied to the diary lol, it's tied to the story. I might remove the diary, though.
The Goddess clearly went for the kid... so you had to escape to find the kid... the only way to escape is through the secret tunnel, everything else is collapse. Devin can't summon you a portal, because 1. He's weak. 2. The crystal that amplifies magic is cursed and can't be used.
So you need to get out and find the kid. But she, being a goddess, is clearly faster and finds you first.
I have to cut most of the things that introduce the player to the story, which is shaping in a campaign, so sorry, but it's not really how I wanna do it.
I made the first part longer with more stuff, so that when the second quest comes everything is already explained and we can get down to business with less mumbo-jumbo ^_^
Thanks for rating and reviewing everyone!!
I will hop on working on everyone's notes and starting the second part
P.S.
well i thought of that too, that's why I added a quick explanation "you are too cold to cut/break off wood" and "the trees are too frozen to burn, anyway" ^^
Disconnecting in the middle of a Foundry is like disconnecting in a dungeon or quest lair. If you can get back in quickly enough, you will be returned to where you left off. If you remain disconnected for too long, you'll be placed outside and need to start over.
Neverwinter Census 2017
All posts pending disapproval by Cecilia
cheers
oldcat9999
I am stuck at the same point atm.
I walked around several times tried F on as much things as possible but nothing worked.
Also that portal like thing didn't/doesn't do anything atm.
So stuck in this field, as I don't have a portal scroll with me.
* The Wounded Elven Woman vanishes before you can read the last text box; consider setting her Disappear condition to when the quest to talk to her is complete, instead of when you reach the final dialogue prompt.
* Love the map design here, by the way, and the ambiance.
* Typo on Devin's Guard: "...annoy me with your pressense?" Should be "presence".
* Devin's House feels very alive. Great job.
* Love the books on Devin's shelves.
* Again, great job on his underground hideout.
* The crystal sequence is very cinematic. Great job!
* The labyrinth could use some music.
* And maybe a few details so that not every hallway looks the same.
* The escape sequence is seriously epic. Well done!
* The Humming Skeleton stands up on its last dialogue prompt (well, one of them - it's immediately after it tells you to be quiet so you don't attract more undead going UUGHHHHH).
* Rather bittersweet ending. Very nicely done that you actually pulled it off so well.
Overall, this is one of the best quests I've played lately. 5/5, easy. Enjoy your 500 AD.
Check out my Foundry questline, The Brightstone Explorers' Guild, now archived on Youtube!