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The Last Hope / NW-DSEECDXWD
eoxid
Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 24 Arc User
Hi i want to show you my new foundry - may someone got time to check it out
The Last Hope <2.1>
<< Destroy the Ashebringer to safe the world befor its gone to late >>
Shortcode: NW-DSEECDXWD
Average Time: 15min+
Author: eoxid
<<< 1.1 >>>
- fixed questtexts (thx at crok2) and end Npc location
<<< 1.2 >>>
- fixed questtexts ~ pickup texts (thx at crok2) and added some environment
<<< 1.3 >>>
- added crypt entrace and gatekeeper for dailytime counter !
<<< 2.0 >>>
- added Legendary smith fight and some epic effects
<<< 2.1 >>>
- added some invisible walls and updated the storylane
Average Time: 15min+
Author: eoxid
<<< 1.1 >>>
- fixed questtexts (thx at crok2) and end Npc location
<<< 1.2 >>>
- fixed questtexts ~ pickup texts (thx at crok2) and added some environment
<<< 1.3 >>>
- added crypt entrace and gatekeeper for dailytime counter !
<<< 2.0 >>>
- added Legendary smith fight and some epic effects
<<< 2.1 >>>
- added some invisible walls and updated the storylane
greetz, eox
Post edited by eoxid on
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Comments
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you need to work a bit more on your story. most of the enemies in the forest area are crowded and similar to each other variety is our friend. i couldn't finish the quest because there was no line of sight with last item/npc, you need to raise it a bit more. did i needed to do a lava swim?
Safe the World SHOULD BE: Save the World.
Talking to Keeper of the Ashebringer: Hi Kat i cant speak so much now... SHOULD BE Hi Kat. I don't have long to talk. Maybe he's listening to us and we've lost the chance to get the Ashebringer back. (Lose the space and if you insist on using the ! there should be no space after the word 'back'. back !!! = back!
Dont cross the road !!! = Don't cross the road!
for now i cant say more!!! = For now, I can't say more.
"Looks like he's scared of something" USE the OOC there instead of " ".
1. okie no road walking = Okay, no road walking OR Okay, don't walk on the road.
Search the Ashebringer = Search for the Ashebringer.
Well done Kat. Now i can speak = Now I can speak without getting into trouble. (period)
1. Who are you?
2. Were i am = Where am I?
Im the Keeper of the Ashebringer = I'm the Keep of the Ashebringer.
1. Well, whats to do now? = Well, what do we do now?
We need to look for my brother i don't sure whether he lives anymore !! = We need to look for my brother. I am not sure whether he is alive or not.
Reenz Ahhhh ahhh im sry brother = Ahhh ahhh! I'm sorry brother my time here is over.
Lets safe this world = Let's save this world.
Keeper
Its enough i lost my brother. = It's enough that I lost my brother.
Its time to stop this nightmare !!! = It's time to stop this nightmare!
Lets go into the old mine to destroy the Ashebringer ! = Let's go into the old mine to destroy the Ashebringer!
It says "Go to Next Map" should be Go to the Cave
The cave says "Go to Next Map" should be: enter the cave
Keep an Eye ! Should be Keep an eye out.
Well i dont know a right way to destroy the Ashebringer for 100%... Should be: Well, I know of no sure-fire way to destroy the Ashebringer. Maybe you should try to throw it into the lava.
Quest text: Theres no way. Should be There's no way.
Keeper: Looks like you cant throw it !!! Should be Looks like you can't throw it.
What!? okie maybe this story will help you. What!? Okay, maybe this story will help you. I've heard about an old Smithhammer
You will also be able to destroy the Ashebringer forever !!! Should be: You will be also be able to destroy the Ashebringer forever!
Dont forget to collect... SHOULD BE: Don't forget to collect...
Otherwise it wont break = Otherwise it won't break.
Hope this works !!! = Hope this works!
Quest text: The Hammer ! = The Hammer! (or should this be: Find the hammer!)
Quest text: Essence of Destruction ! = Essence of Destruction! (or should this be Find the Essence of Destruction!)
Quest text: Use the Essence of Destruction ! = Use the Essence of Destruction!
Quest text: Ive got all = I've got it all. (or: I've got all of it)
Ashebringer: Well son... (Some of us are female)
i know if it wont work this world will be burn like hell !!! = I know that if this doesn't work this world will be burned like hell!
Lets look out for a anvil to finish this up !!! Kat = Let's look for an anvil to finish this up Kat.
Quest text: Use the Essence of Destruction ! = Use the Essence of Destruction!
Anvil says Press F to Breakkkkk = Press F to Break. (The extra K's are annoying)
Then as mentioned above. the Ashebringer at the end is underground so we can't finish it. Try moving his Y up a few feet.
NW-DDFN5FHII Brigitte's Request.
Well thank you guys for your review ~ im sry about the last npc - missed to set him to "Room platform 0" ~ should be fixed now
crok2 - amazing correction !!!
Well i know my english is not the best for sure, but i hope anyways that you understand the questline alilbit and know what to do
- Thank you for correction about my quest texts
One question ~ whats "OOC" ?
OOC = out of character but you can find it where you select NAME to call me by my character name and it makes the text all perty :P It puts brackets around what you want to be blue text.
The beginning transition says "Go to Next Map" Should say something like: Go to (whatever the first map is called) or Go through the door.
Save the World !!! = Save the World!!! (No space after !!!'s ever)
Dont cross the road! = Don't cross the road!
The Ashebringer says: Press F to pick it up ! (No space after 'up' before the !) = Press F to pick it up!
The Ashebringer Keeper says: Looks like his fear is gone away. = Looks like his fear HAS gone away. (Not caps though :P)
The Ashebringer Keeper says: I'm the KEEP of the Ashebringer = I am the keeper of the Ashebringer.
(nitpicking) The Lavalane says "Press F to throw it !!!" SHOULD be "Press F the throw it!!! (No space after the 'it' and before the !!!)
Keeper of the Ashebringer: What?! Okay maybe this story will help you. I've heard about an old Smithhammer smith "Spruck". If you are able to find HIM (Does it say, "him"? Can't read my writing :P) - You will BE ABLE to BE ABLE..... (Be able is repeated twice)..
Keeper of the Ashebringer says: Well Kat - this is the last way that I know that if this doesn't work this world will be burned like hell!= Well Kat - This is the last way that I know of. If this doesn't work this world will be burned like hell!
The legendary Smith Anvil says: Press F to Press F to break. (Press F is said twice because the game already adds Press F. Just delete your Press F and it have it say: to break.
The Ashebringer says: Well done son (change to my NAME) (in my opinion because I am not a 'son')
The Ashenbringer continues on to say - one of the mostpowerful (NEED SPACE between most and Powerful) weapons in the world ARE destroyed ! (Change ARE to IS: one of the most powerful weapons in the world is destroyed!) (No space after destroyed and the !)
The exit portal says "Go to next map" Change to: Return to Neverwinter.
Hope I am not being too nitpicky
again ~ really thank you ! thats amazing for how much things you look out !
is there a way to reciprocate somehow for your awesome "feedback"?
ur welcome, eoxid
1.3
- added crypt entrace and gatekeeper for dailytime counter !
2.0
- added Legendary smith fight and some epic effects
Pros
- Great terrain, all of the environments are very well done, i especially like the underground area, i can tell a lot of work went into it.
- Good encounters, enemies were varied and just hard enough, my only complaint here is that you should use less hulks, they are a very boring encounter IMO.
Cons
- Story could use a lot of work, i can't tell if it's supposed to be comical or serious, you need to choose a side of the fence, either be funny or don't, also emote icons in dialog are a very strange thing to do and i'm not a fan.
- You need to make your story more cohesive, it's not really even a story just a few lines of dialog and some objectives, you need to motivate your player to go to the next objective, i never cared about what i was doing.
Now if you want to make a dungeon crawl map with almost no story this map could easily convert, but it almost feels like you tried to tack it on their just because you could.
Over all i gave it 4 stars, it is a very nice map and you are very good at environments.
Just reviewed your quest. The gatekeeper bugs out at times when you spawn him next to a rock. Maybe move his spawn a little?
The lava room could use a campfire at the beginning.
Would appreciate a review in return. Links in sig
Thanks
#1: 3 Suns Aligned NW-DFEKZANXF
#2: The Amulet of the Shining Sun NW-DRKKGUI26
#2 has choices that give a high amount of replayability
The Legend of Khyber - NWS-DK33EIYMY
#1: The Holy Symbol of Khyber NW-DU3HEVWJ7
#2: The Gauntlets of Khyber NW-DN0006FAZ
Heavy combat/light story
Thanks for your review ~ i'll check out your foundry "The Amulet of the Shining Sun" later this day
At this moment i dont get any issue with the gatekeeper ~ and there is no stone next to him Oo
http://s14.directupload.net/images/130610/pdrp49vi.jpg
greetz, eox
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