Trade Reviews -- Looking for input

labmouse42 · May 2013

I've made my first quest and I am hoping people can assist me in this quest. I"m looking for constructive criticism on how to better build encounters or make things more entertaining.

Short Code : NW-DJHHV5CGY
Name : The Frosty Protologist
Duration : 10-15 minutes

This is a very light hearted quest. Lots of geek references and silly encounters. There are extra roleplaying elements added for fluff reasons.

Ill be happy to review any of your quests that are 15-20 min in length.
I should be able to review within 48 hours. I promise to review anyone who has done my quest and provided me with a review.

I know you see a lot of people say that, but look at this thread. Everyone who has posted in here and reviewed mine has gotten a detailed review in return. More than just a 'nice job', but a list of thoughts and comments.

talli0 · May 2013

I've picked up your quest, and as long as my daughter doesn't wake up from her nap early, I should have a review for you shortly. (If she does, you'll have a review tonight!)

So feel free to check out my quest (info in signature) and get back to me with any comments you have.

chinspinner · May 2013

I'll take a look and come back to you shortly.

Mine are in sig.

Just played through yours and left a review in game. It was fun quest with entertaining dialogue.

Didn't really pick up on any major bugs or issues.

labmouse42 · May 2013

talli0 wrote: »

I've picked up your quest, and as long as my daughter doesn't wake up from her nap early, I should have a review for you shortly. (If she does, you'll have a review tonight!)

So feel free to check out my quest (info in signature) and get back to me with any comments you have.

- The lack of a sparkle trail in blacklake is kind of a hassle but not impossible to work with.

- I loved the physics references in the dialogue with Nealyn. Very funny. Normally blocks are dialogue are not that great, but this was a well placed piece that made me laugh.

- I liked the foundry book where you explain your quest in the entry room. Thats a really good idea.

- Excellent use of /OOC notes in the dialogue with objects. I'm going to switch my objects to do the same.

- Instead of saying 'Finish' when I'm done with the warehouse door, why don't you change the dialogue to 'Walk away'

- Somehow I got stuck in combat after checking the locked door I could not open. When I went to the other locked door I was unable to open it because I was locked in combat. While I could see wererat heads poking out every few min, it was not possible to fight them. I had to exit and enter again to correct.

- I really like the greyscale mist area you created. What was the base model you used for hte mist beasts?

- I like the way you made the signpost an interactive object. Very clever.

- I had a hard time finding the rod right as I went into the mist zone. I had to go back and look for it. It was a bit confusing.

- The graveyard encounters were fun.

- How did you have the text "turn back mortal" appear on the screen?

- Good idea to have Turris Nox walk up at the end. That was a better touch than him just appearing.

- Good use of the back door. Skyrim taught us to always put back doors in every dungeon.

Overall it was a lot of fun and well written. Well worth 5 stars.

labmouse42 · May 2013

chinspinner wrote: »

I'll take a look and come back to you shortly.

Mine are in sig.

Just played through yours and left a review in game. It was fun quest with entertaining dialogue.

Didn't really pick up on any major bugs or issues.

The Three Dials: Part I (NW-DMEWA2PW3)

- I liked the pindrop character not wanting to break client confidentiality

- The fight before the dagger seemed oddly easy. Maybe its just the class/lvl I was.

- Was that NPC at the dagger fight yours?

- LOL -- mother hubbard. Does she go to the cupboard?

- I liked how you had me going around and asking about the dagger. That was fun interaction.

- I like the way you made the nobles hat look like a chefs hat

- Its neat how you have the big spiders scared of you in the sewer.

- As you walk in the sewer, the water on the right hand side does not reach the ceiling. It looks out of place compared to the others.

- Some of the mobs in the sewer area are blocked by the traps. It might be a bug, but the mobs did not want to run over the buzz saw trap.

- On the map cathedrals square, Im seeing a bird fly through the ground. Its very odd.

- Did you make the cathedral map? Its breathtakingly well done.

- What mob(s) did you use as the high preist? I liked how it was a cleric.

- Its not your fault - but the half orc death felt clunky. Its hard to pull that off in this engine.

- While I am playing a controller, it took a lot longer than 30 min to play. Of course I was looking around and exploring

Overall a great adventure. Thanks for sharing.

labmouse42 · May 2013

chinspinner wrote: »

I'll take a look and come back to you shortly.

Mine are in sig.

Just played through yours and left a review in game. It was fun quest with entertaining dialogue.

Didn't really pick up on any major bugs or issues.

Good. I was worried that the maze would be to much of a PITA.
Thanks for the review.

chinspinner · May 2013

labmouse42 wrote: »

Good. I was worried that the maze would be to much of a PITA.
Thanks for the review.

PITA?

I enjoy mazes but they aren't for everyone. The fact you had visibility through the gates meant it wasn't too hard.

labmouse42 · May 2013

PITA = pain in the ***
Yea, and I tried to make it so that when you got done with the maze it was easy to get out of.

You see, I have found that with this engine there are a limited number of components we can do.
* Dialogue
* Kill mobs
* Run from point A to point B
* Jump across ledges
* Make way through mazes
* Search for objects (through dialogue or object interaction)

The trick is to make those as fun as possible.

chinspinner · May 2013

Thanks for your kind review of The Three Dials: Part I; and picking up on a few issues I still need to tweak (noticed those birds flying through objects and completely forgot to change them).

All the maps are bespoke including the cathedral. Can't remember what mobs I used for the boss, but I renamed and reskinned them.

Yeah, the death really bothers me as well, there is just no way I can find to make it half decent.

pavvo · May 2013

Hi
Have just reviewed your quest. Love the fun cultural references - Star Trek, Monty Python and of course dnd

The only comment I would have is to maybe hide the stairs to the basement till you reach that part? I went down early and didn't know what to do.
Also, the last bit with Sir Loin, maybe disable or change the conversation till after you clear the corn

I ran up and spoke to him immediately after zoning and it didn't make sense

Appreciate a review of my 2 campaigns in return. The first one will take you about 15 min per quest and the 2nd is pretty short (10 min max per quest) Links in the sig.

Thanks

labmouse42 · May 2013

pavvo wrote: »

Hi
Have just reviewed your quest. Love the fun cultural references - Star Trek, Monty Python and of course dnd
The only comment I would have is to maybe hide the stairs to the basement till you reach that part? I went down early and didn't know what to do.
Also, the last bit with Sir Loin, maybe disable or change the conversation till after you clear the corn I ran up and spoke to him immediately after zoning and it didn't make sense

Thanks for the suggestions. I can't hide teleporters, which I have used to remove unneeded loading screens. I made Sir Loin not appear until you clear out the zombies. I'll republish in a few minutes then run your questline.

Thanks for taking the time to review.

labmouse42 · May 2013

pavvo wrote: »

Appreciate a review of my 2 campaigns in return. The first one will take you about 15 min per quest and the 2nd is pretty short (10 min max per quest) Links in the sig.

I did this one earlier -- and left the comments in someone else's post $:\$ 3 Suns Aligned NW-DFEKZANXF

These are the notes

For your mysterious traveller, have the OOC text have a return after it. It makes it a bit tricky to read that in the middle of the dialogue

I like how you started the quest in a zone other than the main hub. Its a fresh change of pace.

The goblin encounters at the start were easy with the rest area right there. Was that intentional?

I liked the side rooms that I could enter off the main trail. Sometimes I just want to explore and see what I can find.

I like the random fires and stuff you have in the rooms. Maybe you can add some broken down furnature too, or maybe bedrolls. I can see how your trying to make it look like a goblin warren.

The combat started to get a bit repetitive while going through the warrens. I see how you were ramping up some fights. Can you break it up a little bit by adding some dialoge where I can free a prisoner?

You have a reward chest that can't be opened at the end of the goblin warrens. It seems a bit out of place.

I like how the drow map started on a hill -- nice touch, and it keeps us from going back to the camp.

when you added fire by the drow, it felt like I was not supposed to go that way. Having a group behind the fire threw me off.

I like how the assassain appeared out of nowhere when I was fighting the imps

The multiple balrog fights at the end started to get dull as a control wizard. They are immune to ice effects and there were 4 of them total.

I like how you have the 'press F to go to next map' at the end. That was a nice touch. How did you do that?

talli0 · May 2013

I just finished your quest. Overall it was decent, although the humor is topnotch. The group in the basement was priceless.

Notes:

When I picked up the quest, I was in Blacklake and had no idea where to go. Even going to the overland map didn't give me a clue. I guess it's obvious that alot of things start in Protector's Enclave but may want to add that in quest text.
Talking to whistler, you have Hes instead of He's
When telling Lady Vintner that she's an apparition, you have Truely instead of Truly
The innkeep's name doesn't need to be capitalized, it's a description and not a proper title
When talking to the Innkeep, I think you misspell embarrassed at one point.
Innkeep tells you to take care of the skaa in his room eventhough the skaa are somewhere else. May need to add description of where skaa are
Skaa's names are misspelled....should be Peasants
You have wierd lonely women in the rooms upstairs that are just standing in their rooms, looking straight out. Freaked me out. Make them do something.
When talking to the Innkeep a second time, I asked him how to get to the room with the rod and the conversation just ended
Need to rename the chest that the rod is in
The rod maybe should be +2 Rod instead of Plus 2 Rod
The teleporter that takes you down into the basement says "...to teleport back." Maybe change to "teleport downstairs."
Killing six groups of zombies out in the fields is a bit much. The first couple of times it was cool and funny but got old quickly.
Once I got to Sir Loin, I really lost what was going on. Why did I kill him? It really made no sense. The whole town part seemed hastily tacked on.
During the Sir Loin fight, all of his minions ran away and attacked the horse. Was this intended?
The quest just ended. Since I like to have things kinda wrapped up, I was hoping to head back and have a little talk with Lady Vintner so she could clear some things up...

labmouse42 · May 2013

Thanks for the input. Ill address all those issues today.

When I picked up the quest, I was in Blacklake and had no idea where to go. Even going to the overland map didn't give me a clue. I guess it's obvious that alot of things start in Protector's Enclave but may want to add that in quest text.
I have added the location at the start of the quest.

Talking to whistler, you have Hes instead of He's
When telling Lady Vintner that she's an apparition, you have Truely instead of Truly
The innkeep's name doesn't need to be capitalized, it's a description and not a proper title
When talking to the Innkeep, I think you misspell embarrassed at one point.
Skaa's names are misspelled....should be Peasants
I have corrected these spelling issues and a few others I caught. The challenge with lots of dialogue is you have a lot of text to go through.

Innkeep tells you to take care of the skaa in his room eventhough the skaa are somewhere else. May need to add description of where skaa are
This has been corrected. The reason the innkeeper is in that room is because his room is infested. He clarifies why they are up there.

You have wierd lonely women in the rooms upstairs that are just standing in their rooms, looking straight out. Freaked me out. Make them do something.
I turned these two characters into my 'romance' NPCs.

When talking to the Innkeep a second time, I asked him how to get to the room with the rod and the conversation just ended
I will address this.

Need to rename the chest that the rod is in
This has been completed.

The rod maybe should be +2 Rod instead of Plus 2 Rod
Sadly, this can't be done due the naming limitations in the game. Whoever wrote the code used "s instead of 's when building these strings. Darn them!

The teleporter that takes you down into the basement says "...to teleport back." Maybe change to "teleport downstairs."
I am unaware of how to address this. Do you know how to change the text of a teleporter?

Killing six groups of zombies out in the fields is a bit much. The first couple of times it was cool and funny but got old quickly.
I have reduced the number to 4, and added a bandit encounter

Once I got to Sir Loin, I really lost what was going on. Why did I kill him? It really made no sense. The whole town part seemed hastily tacked on.

During the Sir Loin fight, all of his minions ran away and attacked the horse. Was this intended?
The quest just ended. Since I like to have things kinda wrapped up, I was hoping to head back and have a little talk with Lady Vintner so she could clear some things up...
I fleshed out the town encounter more. You can now talk to the townspeople after smacking them down, and you help address one problem they have with bandits. I added a final meeting with Lady Vinter at the end as well.

I am unaware to make a 'exit map' point appear magically at a specific point. Do you know how this is done?

labmouse42 · May 2013

Shameless Bump

I've got a few hours today that I can do reviews. If someone wants to trade reviews in the next few hours let me know.

labmouse42 · May 2013

Bump -- Ill have some time free today beteween projects. If people want to trade reviews, just post.

voivodak · May 2013

labmouse42, my quest lasts more than 20 minutes, but I don't think (or at least I hope) that you will find it boring.

Tonight I'll try yours. I would be happy if you return the favor in the same way

Greetings

tripsofthrymr · May 2013

I will review your quest now.

I would love a review of mine! Details are in my signature. I'm at 4-Stars with 7 runs, made significant improvements based on great feedback from reviewers. Hoping I'm at 5-Star now :-)

The quest should take about 20 minutes. The next quest in the campaign is already 2/3 done.

chinspinner · May 2013

tripsofthrymr wrote: »

I will review your quest now.

I would love a review of mine! Details are in my signature. I'm at 4-Stars with 7 runs, made significant improvements based on great feedback from reviewers. Hoping I'm at 5-Star now :-)

The quest should take about 20 minutes. The next quest in the campaign is already 2/3 done.

Some idiot will always give you 1 star.

labmouse42 · May 2013

@voivodak and tripsofthrymr

-- I just made major changes to the quest line. I have taken out the village section entirely and will use that as the basis of the second campaign. The entire first section is in the inn. This is due to multiple people mentioning that the 'village' felt like an add on. As such I'm going to just make it the basis of the 2nd quest.

-- I know I've got some bugs still in it. Please be gentle with the stars rating. I'm working out the bugs now and hopefully will have them all finished by tonight. If you see some bugs let me know.

I will run both your instances tonight.

hflord1 · May 2013

labmouse42, I'll go run yours now.

NW-DONEPB9CK is the one I want reviewed. It's a work in progress. Will let you know what I think of yours in a few.

hflord1 · May 2013

Frosty Proctologist is spawned on top of a duplicate of himself.
Funny all around.
Could have spruced up the chef competition
Every fight being an "ogre" fight (a fight with mobs with 5-7 bubbles of life) takes a lvl 59 guardian a very long time. Not a bad thing really, just frustrating for us guardians.

Good run

mirimero · June 2013

**If anyone else is reading this, SPOILERS ahead***

Hey! So it's me from the romance thread.

I have to say I really liked your quest. I can't tell a joke to save my life, so light-hearted media gets me every time. I know I didn't get all the references, but it was kind of surreal killing Rand, Mat, and Perrin. Also, following "good" orders from a floating celestial being only I could see was hilarious, when it was actually pointed out to me. I never had so much fun talking back to my quest-givers.

Funny you mentioned the maze, though, because I got turned around on it several times. I confess I'm one of those maze-haters. I already get vertigo if I make a sudden turn on my horse, so making all those sharp turns and not knowing where I was going was extremely not fun for my inner ear. That said, though, I loved the end-scene down there with the gamers and their furious girlfriends. Actually forgot all about my (minor) annoyance with the maze until I read your comment about it in the forum.

A few notes for the inn area:

The upper portion of the basement ladder actually says "Teleport back out". Maybe change it to "Climb down to the basement" or something.

On the dresser near the one where I got the rod of backscratching (lol!

), there was a helmet that was just floating ten inches from the surface.

Also, I think you missed the "c" on the Proctologist's name.

One thing I really appreciated was all the social options in the Frosty Proctologist. I liked all the talking going on (which I have a lot of too in my own quest), and I really wish Cryptic gave us an option to have NPCs say more than one line of bubble text. Actually being able to buy drinks for people in a tavern gave it a really authentic feeling too. I think I flirted with every flirtable NPC there just for the heck of it.

And having undead in the corn was actually a stroke of genius. I don't know why, but it felt fulfilling hunting them all down. It's like they're right there, but they're not. Suddenly, I understand why so many horror movie scenes are set in cornfields. And the entire encounter in the village was great, hands down.

I wasn't so sure about the arc with the bandits though. I found it a little anticlimactic. The boss bandit was too busy attacking Deckard and he paid no attention to me while I picked off his archers one by one. I kept expecting a fiercer final battle.

All that said though, I thoroughly enjoyed this quest. The time really flew. Looking forward to more.

belberk · June 2013

I will give your quest a go on Saturday afternoon. You'll prolly get 2 reviews as the wife will be running with me all day, If you get the chance, please review mine as well.

labmouse42 · June 2013

tripsofthrymr wrote: »

I will review your quest now.

I would love a review of mine! Details are in my signature. I'm at 4-Stars with 7 runs, made significant improvements based on great feedback from reviewers. Hoping I'm at 5-Star now :-)

The quest should take about 20 minutes. The next quest in the campaign is already 2/3 done.

These are the things I noted while playing with your quest.

- What was up with the ale as an exit over just the gate? I'm just curious.

- Good use of Authors note and the end of the conversation with liana.

- After talking with Liana, she should not longer keep saying "It is you, the one from my vision" You had to make a new NPC for her, so change her idle dialogue. I would think she should say something like "Good luck on your quest"

- Ok, I liked how you could use magical device to read the scroll. Nice D&D touch.

- I would have liked a slightly more complex jumping puzzle to get into the house.

- I would straighten up at least one of the paintings in the house. Would orcs have made every one off center?

- When I talk with Fizz my camera goes so low I can't see him. What happens if you stick fizz on a rock?

- What was up with the blue light in the hallway?

- I really dug the lighting in the crypt by the status. It was awesome.

- Some of the dungeon rooms in 'find the orcs' can use a little more detail. Maybe chains hanging? Maybe more debris? They just feel slightly empty when running through them.

- How did you make your ladder say "Press F to climb ladder" That's a teleport right?

- When the zombies hopped up and attacked, I knew that would be there. That's because the dunegon rooms are fairly uncluttered. Seeing those 3 bodies on the ground was a give away.

- I liked giving the elf digits to the kobold. That felt very 'zork' in gaming - something I like.

- I liked the dungeon room with the mist, traps, orc corpse, and spiderweb.

- So I guess sticking Fizz on a crate does not help. The second time talking to him had an odd angle. Can you go into advanced editor and change his height?

- What's up with the nagmare? Horses are hard to place IMHO.

- After it was done, I felt a bit like "huh" I was all excited about finding the peppers I opened the door to look for them and found the priestess. It felt ... weird. Was there a side door I should taken to the kitchen?

- I really liked the way you allowed specific classes to do stuff to evade encounters. I really liked how you set up 2 opportunities for each encounter. (ie, you could use rogue or wizard skills)

labmouse42 · June 2013

hflord1 wrote: »

Frosty Proctologist is spawned on top of a duplicate of himself.
Funny all around.
Could have spruced up the chef competition
Every fight being an "ogre" fight (a fight with mobs with 5-7 bubbles of life) takes a lvl 59 guardian a very long time. Not a bad thing really, just frustrating for us guardians.

Good run

Ill mod up those enounters for you. Ill also change bobby flay to be a drow assassain, and guy fire-ri to be a flame using dameon. Ill make all those mid-difficulty encounters and the last one to stay hard.

Ill do your adventure sunday night and post my thoughts in your post.

labmouse42 · June 2013

voivodak wrote: »

labmouse42, my quest lasts more than 20 minutes, but I don't think (or at least I hope) that you will find it boring.

Tonight I'll try yours. I would be happy if you return the favor in the same way
Greetings

Ill have time sunday night to run this. Ill post results for you then.

labmouse42 · June 2013

mirimero wrote: »

All that said though, I thoroughly enjoyed this quest. The time really flew. Looking forward to more.

Thanks for taking the time to play.

I've changed it up a bit. I've added more to the inn encounter (including an Iron Chef competition) and adding sub-plots.
As I've seen the average time drop, I may have to make some of those sub-plots become main plots. The magic time is 15-20 minutes to complete.

Did you like the romantic sub-plot? Both romance characters will be found in the inn. After all, they heard you talking to yourself in the hallway saying that you were heading to the village of Auburn.

Quest 2 will be all about the village of Auburn. I've been fleshing out all the NPCs. After all, since they have time, they have picked up hobbies of wizardry, sculpting, cooking, etc. I'm going to try and keep the same level of humor through the entire second one (my latest creation -- the portable dance floor!

belberk · June 2013

I spent all day trying to run your quest but kept getting stuck with the loading prompt, will try again tomorrow.

rdxcyclo · June 2013

I can't find your quest in foundry with the provided code

labmouse42 · June 2013

rdxcyclo wrote: »

I can't find your quest in foundry with the provided code

Short Code : NW-DJHHV5CGY
Name : The Frosty Proctologist
Duration : 10-15 minutes

When I copied the quest it changed the code.

Trade Reviews -- Looking for input

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