swogrider95Member, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 1Arc User
edited May 2013
Why didn't the cliff marry the control wizard?
Because it knew that he would abuse it.
zing.
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valhalanaMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero UsersPosts: 12Arc User
edited May 2013
What's the difference between NW and D&D? -- NW ban's for mistakes on their end.
How many NW dev's does it take to fix a code in a hay stack? -- None, cuz their to busy eating them...(Hay Stacks are snacks)
A Dwarf, Halfling and a Human walk into a bar waiting for their friend to grind T2 dungeon's....1hr later they are still waiting....2hr later they are still waiting...etc...still waiting... -- If your waiting for a punchline you shouldn't be reading this because their friend was banned -- this joke is called NW Ban's in Beta
A goblin and a dwarf fall from the highest point in Castle Never at the same time, which one hits the ground first? -- who cares.
Pickles in a jar and an incubator in a fridge is like a Drizzt having a panther companion and a Guardian Fighter actually tanking -- if you dont catch the pun in this then you must be a guardian fighter and you should reroll because ur class is not useful. -- this joke is called stab the stumpies that roll GF's
Discussions in a dungeon.
" Ahh a staircase"
" cool lets go down a level"
" Why would we want to go down a level... i just leveled up!"
" to fight tougher Monsters!"
" you want to go down a level to fight tougher monsters? your mad"
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beohrnMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 1Arc User
edited May 2013
Why does Lord Neverember sit on that throne all day? Because if he stood on it he would look silly.
How many dwarves does it take to change a lightbulb? Lightbulbs? What is this, Eberron?
What do you get if you cross a half-orc and an elf? Never cross a half-orc.
How do you know if a halfling's been in your kitchen? Everything's missing from only the upper shelves -- they know how to use stepstools and assume you'll be racist.
Child: "Mommy!"
Mom: "Yes my angel?"
Child: "How come we haven't had a snow day yet?"
Mom: -the mother chortles- "That's because we live in Neverwinter"
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gaxcanaMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero UsersPosts: 1Arc User
-Why did the Fighter let the Rogue choose the party's Warlock? Because he was good at picking 'Locks.
-What do you call a good looking woman in Menzoberranzan?
Master.
-A myconid walks into a bar and the bar tender says "we don't serve your kind here". The mushroom man replies "why not, I'm a fungi"
and last but not least
An elf, a human and a dwarf are all enjoying drinks in a tavern when each notices a fly in their glass.
The elf places his napkin over the glass and pushes it off to the side.
The human removes the fly and keeps drinking.
The dwarf pulls out the fly and starts yelling, "Spit it out, ya devil! Spit it out!"
If you didn't laugh at any of those there's something wrong with you :P
Me: Knock knock.
Lord Neverember: Who's there?
Me: Boo.
Lord Neverember: Boo who?
Me: Don't cry just because I'm here to take your head due to your incompetence at ruling, fool!
WHat will you do with a drunken Halfling,
What will you do with a drunken Halfling,
What will you do with a drunken Halfling
In the middle of the Warzone.........
Ow lord this isn't even a joke, I'm sure Private Wilfred is turning in his grave right now(or atleast I understood he got buried after his death in the tutorial level).
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eclipetMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited May 2013
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1 "We killed the dragon! We killed the Dragon! We ... we're never going to have girlfriends, are we?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
2 A warrior comes home very drunk from the pub with a Duck under his arm, his wife answers the door "what's this?"
- The warrior replies "this is the dragon i've been shaggin'"
- The angry wife shouts "That is not a Dragon that is a duck!"
- The warrior looks at her and says "I was talking to the duck!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
3 What do you call 1000 gnomes at the bottom of the ocean?
- Littering
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
4 A Pirate walks into a bar with the ship's wheel in his breeches.
Bartender: "Sir, did you know that there is a steering wheel in your pants?"
Pirate: "Aye. It's drivin' m e nuts!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
5 A human, an elf, and a dwarf are all contracted to build a palace for the great Sultan of the Efreet. Unfortunately, the massive dome collapses and the efreet's harem is crushed to death. Furious, the Sultan orders all three to be executed by beheading.
The human is dragged by the efreet's servants to a massive obsidian guillotine. His head is locked in the stocks and they pull the lever. The obsidian blade drops -- and then stops halfway, apparently stuck. The Sultan says "It is the will of Imix that you be live, so you shall be set free."
Next the elf is dragged to the guillotine. His head is locked in the stocks and they pull the lever. The obsidian blade drops -- and then stops halfway, apparently stuck. The Sultan says "It is the will of Imix that you be live, so you shall be set free."
Finally, the dwarf is dragged to the guillotine. Just before his head is about to be locked in the stocks he looks up and says,
"Ach. I see the problem!"
Herp Derp - Captain Obvious.
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kazenokiMember, Neverwinter Beta UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited May 2013
A group of adventurers encounters several skeletal warriors. The Rogue slips into the shadows to attack from behind; the cleric prepares her holy symbol; the wizard pulls forth his magic wand; the barbarian shouts "We won!"
"What are you doing?" The cleric asks confused. "What do you mean we won?"
The barbarian replies, "They're already dead!"
While wandering through the towns and cities of this fine land, I came across a lady of high breeding berating her husband in the most unbecoming of terms. He wished to visit a relative in a distant city, but she was less than enthused with his decision, claiming everything from an appointment with her hairdresser (which, judging from her complex coif, was mandatory to prevent harm to bystanders), to the fact that she was simply afraid of the city in plain.
As I listened and discovered their intended destination, I could not but chuckle to myself; for their destination was "Baldur's Gate" and I am sure nothing was as horrifying to the lady as anything imperiling her coiffure.
"When I was 4, I got bitten by ... radioactive myth!" - Neil Gaiman
2 orcs are standing next to a flagpole arguing, A dwarf walks up and asks what is wrong, one orc turns to the dwarf and says "We try to figure out how get tallness of pole." Dwarf takes a measuring tape from his pocket, unscrews the flagpole, lays it down and proceeds to measure it. "It is 22.5 feet" and then the dwarf walks off. One of the orcs says to the other "Typical dwarf, he give us length when we want tallness."
Comments
I think everyone can say that to a GWF...
Because it knew that he would abuse it.
zing.
How many NW dev's does it take to fix a code in a hay stack? -- None, cuz their to busy eating them...(Hay Stacks are snacks)
A Dwarf, Halfling and a Human walk into a bar waiting for their friend to grind T2 dungeon's....1hr later they are still waiting....2hr later they are still waiting...etc...still waiting... -- If your waiting for a punchline you shouldn't be reading this because their friend was banned -- this joke is called NW Ban's in Beta
A goblin and a dwarf fall from the highest point in Castle Never at the same time, which one hits the ground first? -- who cares.
Pickles in a jar and an incubator in a fridge is like a Drizzt having a panther companion and a Guardian Fighter actually tanking -- if you dont catch the pun in this then you must be a guardian fighter and you should reroll because ur class is not useful. -- this joke is called stab the stumpies that roll GF's
Spring, summer and autumn, because it's NeverWinter.
" Ahh a staircase"
" cool lets go down a level"
" Why would we want to go down a level... i just leveled up!"
" to fight tougher Monsters!"
" you want to go down a level to fight tougher monsters? your mad"
How many dwarves does it take to change a lightbulb? Lightbulbs? What is this, Eberron?
What do you get if you cross a half-orc and an elf? Never cross a half-orc.
How do you know if a halfling's been in your kitchen? Everything's missing from only the upper shelves -- they know how to use stepstools and assume you'll be racist.
Hey you there!
You look like a trust worthy fellow. Let me tell you about my problems.
Who's there?
"New Zone."
New Zone wh-
"YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE VENTURING FORTH"
containing 1000000 zen and they believed this!!!
Mom: "Yes my angel?"
Child: "How come we haven't had a snow day yet?"
Mom: -the mother chortles- "That's because we live in Neverwinter"
-Why did the Fighter let the Rogue choose the party's Warlock? Because he was good at picking 'Locks.
-What do you call a good looking woman in Menzoberranzan?
Master.
-A myconid walks into a bar and the bar tender says "we don't serve your kind here". The mushroom man replies "why not, I'm a fungi"
and last but not least
An elf, a human and a dwarf are all enjoying drinks in a tavern when each notices a fly in their glass.
The elf places his napkin over the glass and pushes it off to the side.
The human removes the fly and keeps drinking.
The dwarf pulls out the fly and starts yelling, "Spit it out, ya devil! Spit it out!"
If you didn't laugh at any of those there's something wrong with you :P
"If I wanted your opinion I would
axe you for it !""You don't make a dwarf mad, you just make is axe happy."
None.
Lord Neverember: Who's there?
Me: Boo.
Lord Neverember: Boo who?
Me: Don't cry just because I'm here to take your head due to your incompetence at ruling, fool!
I can't post my songs.
What will you do with a drunken Halfling,
What will you do with a drunken Halfling
In the middle of the Warzone.........
Ow lord this isn't even a joke, I'm sure Private Wilfred is turning in his grave right now(or atleast I understood he got buried after his death in the tutorial level).
1
"We killed the dragon! We killed the Dragon! We ... we're never going to have girlfriends, are we?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
2
A warrior comes home very drunk from the pub with a Duck under his arm, his wife answers the door "what's this?"
- The warrior replies "this is the dragon i've been shaggin'"
- The angry wife shouts "That is not a Dragon that is a duck!"
- The warrior looks at her and says "I was talking to the duck!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
3
What do you call 1000 gnomes at the bottom of the ocean?
- Littering
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
4
A Pirate walks into a bar with the ship's wheel in his breeches.
Bartender: "Sir, did you know that there is a steering wheel in your pants?"
Pirate: "Aye. It's drivin' m e nuts!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
5
A human, an elf, and a dwarf are all contracted to build a palace for the great Sultan of the Efreet. Unfortunately, the massive dome collapses and the efreet's harem is crushed to death. Furious, the Sultan orders all three to be executed by beheading.
The human is dragged by the efreet's servants to a massive obsidian guillotine. His head is locked in the stocks and they pull the lever. The obsidian blade drops -- and then stops halfway, apparently stuck. The Sultan says "It is the will of Imix that you be live, so you shall be set free."
Next the elf is dragged to the guillotine. His head is locked in the stocks and they pull the lever. The obsidian blade drops -- and then stops halfway, apparently stuck. The Sultan says "It is the will of Imix that you be live, so you shall be set free."
Finally, the dwarf is dragged to the guillotine. Just before his head is about to be locked in the stocks he looks up and says,
"Ach. I see the problem!"
- Captain Obvious.
"What are you doing?" The cleric asks confused. "What do you mean we won?"
The barbarian replies, "They're already dead!"
As I listened and discovered their intended destination, I could not but chuckle to myself; for their destination was "Baldur's Gate" and I am sure nothing was as horrifying to the lady as anything imperiling her coiffure.
Cryptic Studios Servers would all explode
You know you play too much when... your microwave dings and you go, "Gratz!"
(not ingame but makes me lol)
For the elves!!!