Looking for feedback on my 1st quest

kyeo138 · May 2013

Name: Those Steamy Neverwinter Nights
ID: NW-DI8PEGHIB
Handle: @Drexorn

Hi everyone, I'd love some feedback (and suggestions!) on my first foundry adventure. It's kind of short, but it took me now 40+hours to build - most of it getting used to the editor and making sure details were just so.

I know it's not a very original theme, but if you liked 'From Dusk Till Dawn' you should like this.
If you didn't like that movie, or press 1. and not read any dialog, then you'll hate this quest and I suggest you not play it

It's mainly a solo quest (i've made the encounters easier), but you could do it with a friend. I thought it should take around 15-20 minutes, but the average is around 30min right now.

It should be version 1.6. Any feedback you'd like to give I'd appreciate, thanks!

If you play mine, leave the info and I'll play yours too. I absolutely LOVE the foundry!!
ps - the password options & drink names are all DnD/forgotten realms related

Reviews I still need to do:

Reviews Completed:
Seanc84:Into the Mind's Eye, Webcrag chpt1 - NW-DEU18DHO6
slaidz: A Nobleman's Request - NW-DIYMYKKVY
porpoisealert: Mansion of Madness - NW-DMG5882j5
eulerdmoogle: A small dwarvish grudge: NW-DUI8A8I7R
savagehenrry: Slig Caves - NW-DMRNRKVJD
Crimsonconcepts: emberbaths planning: NW-DGU6CYPV4
Notaurious: Invoking the old god: NW-DJC4R9H3R
Voivodak: the fear that freeze: NW-DNUZSYEEY
Atiaxi: Crumorn the spiked: NW-DCDX6KMED
Zekrallmizzrym: Resurrection of Xunvrae: NWS-DNNZST5FJ
Luther8: Mystery of fang ridge: NW-DGTN72HYL
aristarchos01: The Kidnapped Bride: NW-DP3KMHTRP
@Bostish: A Mother's Woe - NW-DERJQ93CH
@br0dyman: Misplaced Elf - NW-DJNTSJAKY
Gilidus: Labyrinth of the Pso'nul'ja - NW-DAIIR7LMF
@Lya: Tomb of Wernar - NW-DJGYNI7NH
@labmouse43: Save the Village - NWS-DB76GRRHK

kyeo138 · May 2013

bumpity bump for feedback

luther8 · May 2013

good luck getting any feedback, its tough trying to convince people to play

crimsonconcepts · May 2013

I will give it a try.. please take a look at mine in return.

Quest Name: Emberbaths Planning
Foundry Code: NW-DGU6CYPV4

seanc84 · May 2013

Hey - I left some feedback over in my review trading thread here.

I'll keep an eye out for updates to run yours again and re-rate it. I thought it was pretty fun - just a few things to give it that polished feel. Definitely worth playing!

crimsonconcepts · May 2013

I like the overall story, and it was pretty well done. There are a few comments I will add -

Small issue with text and direction - Tarynn leads you over to the bed, and you interact with the chair.

In the first upstairs room the pathing person moves right through two of the other people. Might change the path a bit. Check the height on some of the items in the rooms after teleported, they are floating about a foot off the ground.

Your blade trap in the room with the blood pool is too low, as a rogue it keeps telling me it is out of range to disable.

slaidz · May 2013

I will run through yours soon.

voivodak · May 2013

I'll do it. Please return the favor tryng my quest. All informations are in my signature

slaidz · May 2013

This was a fun quest and definitely different from many that I've done so far. The dialogue was interesting and the use of transitions was nice as well. You did a great job with the NPCs, even the ones that didn't have any significant dialogue. The boss was interesting though not too difficult, which can really be said for the combat throughout. It was a very nice balance though.

You should know that a maniac attacks the boss while they're still in 'NPC' mode before going down the stairs. Also, Helzero (was that his name?) is the stereotypical that does nothing to help you.

Unfortunately as I looted the chest I moved and the reviewing opportunity was canceled. I'm probably going to play through it again though. Anyway, 4/5, good job.

atiaxi · May 2013

My quest is in my sig

I liked this one! I mean, I knew something would be up at the brothel, just didn't know what it would be. I figured some evil puppetmaster enslaving the help, so I was surprised to find it was the help doing the enslaving

Other notes:

- Journeying across town to get from the contact to the door seemed somewhat needless. That said, I don't know how many contacts and doors there are to choose from in Protector's Enclave, so there may be nothing to do about this.

- The chat / animations in the upstairs room are well used

- Helrazor Heimgor: "To be honest, so I am" -> "To be honest, so am I"

- Dang it, I didn't want to take all those drinks! You made me drink them! I mean, I realize it's for the plot, but it felt a bit railroad-ish

- Also: "Syryn"? How did I not see this coming?

- Second rebirth of Syryn, she's fighting a hostile (because hostiles always attack neutral NPCs)

zekrallmizzrym · May 2013

It is hard getting reviews for a new quest, i will happily give yours a try. Foundry is the best part of neverwinter

Feel free to test out my first quest as well.

Review on "Those Steamy Neverwinter Nights": Done (17th May 2013), in game feedback and rating left.

My Quest

Campaign: Resurrection of Xunvrae (4 parts)
Quest Name: The bones of Xunvrae
Author: Elimgarak83
Short Code: NWS-DNNZST5FJ
Tags: Story, Explore, Combat
Tested: 14 GWF, 60 CW, 60 DC, 29 CW
Quest forum post: http://nw-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?235592-Resurrection-of-Xunvrae

Campaign

House Arken'etts' has a long history of producing the finest wizards throughout the Underdark. Since the spellplague ravaged the planes, house Arken'etts' power has been vastly diminished.

Sin'Afay Arken'ett has enlisted your help in restoring the once proud house to its former glory.

Treachery and torment will be your companions during this campaign, taking you from the darkest crypt's deep enough Torils' surface to planes of nightmare and legend.

Part 1: The bones of Xunvrae
Part 2: Xunvraes' Resurrection
Part 3: Shadow stalkers
Part 4: Xunvrae Must Die

Part 1 - The bones of Xunvrae

Xunvrae, once the most accomplished wizard in house Arken'ett disappeared over 100 years ago. If house Arken'ett is to be restored to its former glory, then the archmage must returned to his rightful place.

Venture into an ancient Netherese crypt and discover what became of Xunvrae.

blueshirt84 · May 2013

Okay, Drexorn, I gave it a run through solo with my 16 Halfling Cleric; took a half hour. I honestly wasn't expecting much out of a 'brothel quest,' but this was fun! Good little bits of cheeky humor too. I especially enjoyed seeing my man-at-arms flexing at the courtesans, and me being called 'big and strong' (I'm a halfling).

Some comments:

1. Look up the definitions of "discrete" versus "discreet." The latter one is more appropriate.

2. Talking to the nobleman, he says "disturbings sounds" instead of "disturbing sounds." Makes me think of Skwisgar from Metalocalypse

3. When you first meet Helrazor in the brothel his mug is impaling his hand. Probably not much you can do about that though

4. The brothel is dead silent inside. Granted, there are sound issues with Foundry, but maybe music would work? There's plenty of activity, but no life.

5. Solare typo: "Becuase"

6. Rhyne: "We haven't had a fight since ____ took over" <- word is missing

7. Tarynn says to interact with bed, but you have to interact with the chair first.

8. When you first walk down the dungeon hallway before opening doors, you get the 'discovered a campsite' message, even though you don't have access to it yet. Don't know if you can put it further away or not, but just so you know.

9. The torture sounds work just fine. I dig it. -- Erm, the sounds, not the torture. Erm, I mean for gameplay not because I enjoy... nvm.

10. When you rescue Vronin and it zooms in to talk all you see is knees because he's on the platform, higher than you.

11. After killing Syryn the second time, "Stay safe" needs a period.

12. Helrazor is worthless! I know there's nothing to do about it with the toolset given, but for such a big dude it'd be nice if he didn't just disappear when it's time to fight haha...

13. Wiggling and waggling hips gives me more of a impression of 'goofy' than 'seductive.' Might try the thesaurus on that one. "sways her hips seductively as she walks away' maybe?

14. The only real problem: I beat the bouncer and entered the exit hallway. There is a Syryn standing there that you can't interact with, so you just walk past her and open a door. Through the door you see a chest and another door, all glitterified and ready to be used. There is no prompt to talk to Syryn again. I saw her diamond pop up on my mini-map, but decided to do what probably half the hack & slashers out there will do: keep moving forward. So I go through the door and get dumped onto the streets of Protector's Enclave with the quest unfinished and no way to get back in, without starting the quest over. /sadtrombone. I'd make it so that you can't open the door leading to the chest until you kill that Syryn (I'm guessing you fight her one last time?)

Didn't rate it yet, but I'll be happy to replay it and give it a 5 once you've polished it a bit. Good work!

kyeo138 · May 2013

Thanks guys for all the feedback, I really do appreciate all of it. I'll be sure to go and play yours in return if I haven't already. I have quite a bit of polishing to do!

By the way, does anyone know if you can get an NPC to fight with you? I'd ideally like Helrazor to fight along side you instead of just cowering.

atiaxi · May 2013

I'm not at a foundry right now so I can't check, but IIRC there are 'guard' encounters in the Encounter tab. If there's one with just one guard, you can re-skin it to look like Helrazor. I don't know if you can do something like have them follow you around, though, so you may only be able to use it for individual scenes: e.g. when you first 'rescue' Helrazor he's surrounded by the bodies of his enemies, you could have him still fighting them.

notaurious · May 2013

Please see the details for my quest in my signature. I would greatly appreciate you taking the time to return the review favor.

Your review:
Game Rating: 5 Stars
True Rating: 5.5 Stars

Notes:

Played this as a Level 19 Trickster with Cleric pet.

1) Loved option: "aren't screams normal there."
2) Inn is set up nicely with NPCs.
3) Good work with the investigation chain.
4) Character ambient speech is graphic, but funny/true to the nature of the location.
5) Taryn follows me when it might make better sense to despawn her after convo and have her patrol to location.
6) Good job renaming/reskinning mobs.
7) Using /mission instead of /ooc for 2nd encounter with Syryn. Might revise that.
8) Good job finding the sound mods for the rooms. Consistent cathedral sound (I think that's what you used).
9) I don't think it is necessary to introduce Syryn Reborn as such. She is undead, perhaps find a more creative way to do this. (Story names her Syryn mostly, but in this case, you have her named Syren).
10) trap in that room is out of sight. Could not reach. System glitched my companion and left her in the room ; /
11) Mob in with 3rd Syryn encounter is attacking her. Put mob somewhere else or put invisible walls around her to avoid this.
12) I like the 2 out of 3, 3 out of 5 chaining of Syryn's responses. Good character development.
13) Exceptional use of transition for Vronin in the story line.
14) Love the final Gruush exchange (that's two words, lol).
15) Final talk with Helrazor "If you change you ever change your mind..." fix that.
16) FINAL EXIT needs to be fixed. Delete the interaction portion, as at the end it will give you two options: to interact or to exit the map. Should a player choose to interact, they will lose the option to leave the map.

I can tell you put a lot of time into this map, just like me. You paid attention to a lot of little details and really tried to think about how a player would deal with situations. Your final encounter was a little much due to the 2 summoners, but was fun. If players know what they are doing, they will be fine.

What I like the most is how you strategically spawn mobs at just the right time and just the right place. Several times I thought I was safe, and BAM, more mobs triggered that I was not expecting. Good job.

If your design trend continues, I expect to see you on the front page. I will sub to your dungeons.

LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

Please return the favor and check out my dungeon. Info below. Thanks!

notaurious · May 2013

Author has yet to reciprocate.... beware. Review another quest.

kyeo138 · May 2013

notaurious wrote: »

Author has yet to reciprocate.... beware. Review another quest.

Don't worry notaurious, you're on my list (see my first post). You guys just reviewed this yesterday and I didn't have time to play until today. I'm playing through some right now. I WILL return a review on every single person who plays mine.

I noticed you've been posting a lot of these 'author does not reciprocate' messages, usually after only 1 day. You need to give people time. Maybe after a week or so you can post that, but after only a day is a bit extreme. Some of these quests may only take 10-15min, but when you're reviewing it takes an hour. I only have time to play and hour or two a day, so it's tough to get all the reviews in.

aristarchos01 · May 2013

I will definitely review yours once i get in game. I love Dusk Till Dawn :cool:
My quest is in my signature below
Short Code :NW-DP3KMHTRP

kyeo138 · May 2013

I was only able to review 3 today, but I'll get to the rest on the list in order, thanks for playing my quest & the reviews. I've put in most of the changes you guys gave me!

aristarchos01 · May 2013

I enjoyed your quest a lot. The maps were great and the dialogue was fun to read. The combat was a bit repetitive at times. But overall it was a great quest. And yeah the big guy always running off to do something else instead of help you fight was humorous

blueshirt84 · May 2013

aristarchos01 wrote: »

The combat was a bit repetitive at times.

When is the combat ever not repetitive in Neverwinter? :P

-

On a side note, OP, my companion also got stuck in the trapped room and wouldn't leave.

kyeo138 · May 2013

blueshirt84 wrote: »

When is the combat ever not repetitive in Neverwinter? :P

Yeah, I tried to break it up with some dialog. I tried to throw some zombies in there for some variety. Maybe I can throw a few different things in. Each syryn mini boss fight is a different type, and there's at least 5 different minion encounters. Definitely thanks again for the feedback.

Hmm, the companion getting stuck, was it behind a pillar or was it the trap that was making him get not move?
Also, blueshirt, do you have a foundry quest I can review?

kyeo138 · May 2013

Ok, I think i've gotten to every review on the list. If you'd like me to check out your quest, just let me know. I'd appreciate a review in return too

I just published v1.3 of my quest, and I think it's done at this point.

keylord02 · May 2013

I'll check your's out next! Mine's in my sig

EDIT: Just finished it! Now that's exactly the kind of adventure you'd expect to happen to adventurers all the time! Very polished and elaborate. I think you succeeded by having the flavorful conversations there to break up the combats so it doesn't just feel like one long slog through a bunch of monsters. Good work!

bostish · May 2013

I loved the plot/story line as a 34 cleric. Though some of the encounters were close enough that I got unexpected adds from rooms nearby. Some of the bosses were challenging for sure

I loved all the dialog, you have that well mastered. My first quest pales in comparison to yours.

A Mother's Woe by @Bostish
Short Code:NW-DERJQ93CH
Mission Type: Indoor/Outdoor Location Mission
Average Duration:11 min
Amount of Combat:average
Starts at: Town Gate
Mission Summary: A mother's daughter has gone missing, find her and punish those involved.

gilidus · May 2013

I had a fun time playing your foundry kyeo138. The story was interesting and there was plenty of action.

Suggestions:

-Right after the final boss where you have to talk to Helrazor, he is floating off of the steps a bit. You could just move him back a few feet to fix this.

-The blood pool/fountain in the lower dungeon area felt a bit out of place being in the corner. Perhaps try centering it in the room.

Overall though, good job.

I look forward to your feedback on my foundry. Shortcode is in my signature.

br0dyman · May 2013

I'll take a look. Please take a look at mine also.

Short code:NW-DJNTSJAKY
Name:Misplaced Elf
Author:@br0dyman
Est. Time: 16 minutes?
Url:http://nw-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?277941-Misplaced-Elf

kyeo138 · May 2013

Thanks everyone for the kind words, I'll get to your stuff tonight/tomorrow.

Bostish, just keep going back and tweaking it, adding little details as you go. Mine started out horrible, and it just kind of developed into this. I spent hours in the first inn room putting little things everywhere

br0dyman · May 2013

Hey Kyeo!

Played through your mission. I really enjoyed it. I was really happy with combat pacing. It didn't leave me bored once I got into combat.

The moaning sounds kinda got me annoyed a bit. It was just kind of repetitive.

The fight where it was to fight your way out, not sure if it was intentional, but all the mobs were on top of me at once. It may be a bit too hard.

The use a secret door trigger was a bit wonky. Didn't sparkle, not sure if that was on purpose? I kinda went aimlessly for a minute.

I would recommend that second to last Syryn fight happen down below. The AOE doesn't show the player very well and having a small condensed space is a bit rough.

The last fight was very entertaining and I thought it was perfect.

I also tipped you for enjoying it so much.

slaidz · May 2013

notaurious wrote: »

Author has yet to reciprocate.... beware. Review another quest.

I think you overreacted with this post a bit.

kyeo138 · May 2013

Thanks brody for the input! I'll change the 2nd corridor sounds from the moaning, but it's tough b/c most of them don't work right now.
The door should turn sparkly when you get close (inside the quest area circle), maybe i need to make the circle bigger. I had Syryn down below, but I thought it would be more dramatic up top. I'll look at moving her.

Oh and yeah slaidz, he reviewed mine then posted that I didn't reciprocate 12 hours later (after midnight my time). I promise that everyone who leaves me feedback, I will review your quest eventually. I should be all caught up now

Looking for feedback on my 1st quest

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