Please take your time to look into my foundery quest

mekols

Hello NW Community, i have made Another quest, and i like your Review on it,

Quest name: save the elf Queen 2.0
character name/ mekols
Code: NW-DNZJBY2k9

This is a sequel of the first save the elf Queen

After the cult of the dragon kidnapped the Queen,

She Went and wanted a Peace contract with the dwarf, but during the meeting, the cult attacked again, and this time the drow are with them

antonkyle

OK! Where to start? I'll break it down:

Story
What story? It reads like a shopping list. The queen has been taken, go save her, go through the door, get the key, get the shield key, get the other key, get the next key..... no explanation of what I'm doing or why I'm doing it at all really. Why were people helping me? Who were they? Where am I? What's going on?

The whole story can be summed up with the name of the world it is set, Elf Land? Really?

Maps
I don't like criticizing, but the maps were as empty as the story, no detail much at all. It felt empty and therefore dull. Nothing really wrong with what was there it's more a case of what was not. Also, many of the names of things/people etc, were.... odd! Like you hadn't changed them.

Mechanics

Nothing wrong here, it all worked. I was able to follow it through easily enough. I missed a few things and had to go backwards a couple of times. If I'm honest this was my fault in a way. I was bored and was rushing forward.

Sound
... er, I think you forgot! You might want to rethink that.

In conclusion
It felt lazy. You need to add much, much more. Tell a story, make it look like it has life and an atmosphere, explain what is going on, add a bit of a backstory.

I'm sorry, this is probably not what you want to hear. I couldn't in all honesty give this a rating. It felt like I was seeing an alpha version and it was not finished.

I did like the way my companions built up throughout the quest. Starting with two, by the end I think I had about seven. It would be nice if you built on this. Have some dialog with them, maybe a bit of banter between them.

mekols

Thx you for Playing my quest, and i will lisen to your feedback, But the story line is to get the Queen back,. but best way to know if i missed someting is to leet other people play it, but yea if you rushed you might have not read the story, anyway, i will look into the things you said

reiwulf

you coulsd always develop the story more. So the queen was kidnapped. Why was she kidnapped? who kidnapped her? Why are you helping to rescue her? try to get the player to know more about the reasons they're doing what they're doing.
Example. The Queen has a very valuable ring, and whoever gets that ring will be crowned King /queen instead of her. so a close relative to her kidnaps her in order to steal the ring and be crowned king of the land. (Also Elf land sounds pretty generic, even calling it the "Elven Lands" sounds better XD). Then, a knight, loyal to the Queen wants to rescue her, and needs your help in doing so, because he has heard from all your adventures in Neverwinter.
It's just an example (and probably not the best) but it helps getting people more immersed in the story. More than get key, open door, rescue Queen.
Also I haven't played it yet, but from what I've read of your quests, your map needs work, try to see how are the official maps in Neverwinter, and try to make it look like that, much more natural, put furniture around, not big empty spaces. There is nothing that bores me than uninspired maps.
I hope you can take the advice others are giving and be able to better your quest. If you have any doubts or questions don't hesitate to ask us.