To Infinity... And Beyond! [ ]

torontodave

Hey all,

I'm making a Spelljammer themed campaign with SciFi homages and the first quest is finished!

I'd appreciate it if you gave it a look. =D

It has Skyships, Space Pirates, Hidden Treasure Chests, Parkour, Phlogiston, Humour(I hope) and some light FX and Storyline.


I value constructive criticism and I plan to update this quest with your improvements before I publish part 2 of the campaign. So please, give it a play: NW-DEJ5E85KF and let me know what you think!

(It's under the 'New' tab .. at the time of this edit)


(Its quick and easy for a level 60.. but my level 31 author had a tricky time)
Thanks!


[edit: this is also my very FIRST foundry publish and FIRST foundry attempt. akro's foundry livestreams inspired me.]

torontodave

Known Issues:

Drinking Transition/ FX - Camera Bloom Blur / I just got some great tips from @deiterate on how to improve this transition and I'm gonna republish tomorrow. Complete with an opaque fade-to-black transition.

BelowDecks - Sorry about the loading time for such a small map, I'm gonna try and flesh this area out a bit. More to explore under the ship. It'll add some play minutes, lore, maybe even combat, and space out those two loading sequences.

Ruin Mimic - Gonna make this guy an instant interaction for more surprise. If you find him, open him anyway. ;D

idiotamongus

I've had a look at this. I will be doing my usual 'five elements of the Foundry' review (well more like four since the fith one is authors dedication to their work which is rather difficult to review on) but I will be reviewing on other elements; Story, gameplay, mechanics and detail.


•For a first Foundry, it actually had some decent detail and the use of creative mechanics like building ramps and support beams showed some initiative.
•The story was short but for me, I had a bit of nostalgia playing this because there was an MMO I played a while back called Allods Online that used the same type of thing with the element of Sci-Fi involvement and the use of these kinds of airships (or "Astral Ships" as they were referred to on Allods). However, the story itself was just very short and didn't get that much from it but still a decent work for a first time Foundry.
•For the gameplay aspect, as an entirety, there was a fair amount of dialog but as the story was rather short, and with the maps it was just running backwards and forwards most of the time. A decent amount of combat towards the end though.

For prospective reviewers, I'd recommend at least having a look at it and building their own analysis of it.

melinden

I played with my level 60 DC. Your dialogue is quite good and entertaining. You will want to explore adding ambient sound, sound effects, and music to your maps. Finally, you probably want to extend this part of the quest so it gets to the 15 minute mark. Players don’t have much incentive to play foundries but they almost never play those that don’t qualify for dailies.

Opening in PE:

-In the 2nd dialogue box of Fenta’s lines you have a typo: “guarentee” instead of guarantee
-You may want to animate Fenta during the conversation, there are several close up dialogue animations to select in the dialogue boxes

Empty Bar:

-currently you are using one of the huge fire effects in the fireplace. The look is ok but it sounds like a massive inferno. Often Authors use the dynamic light campfire in those fireplaces. You have to tuck it into the wall a little bit so it doesn’t stick out of the grate but it is about the right size.

Below Deck:

-why is there a trap in the cargo hold? That seemed odd.
-when you get a little more experienced you can create wooden walled rooms that will represent the interior a little better. If you don’t want to wait that long Elven interiors have wood walls.

Portal Sky:

-I managed to get up to the purple crystal on the wrecked spelljammer. I would assume that would be useful to salvage. So if you don’t want players up there you may want to add some invisible walls or just have the phylactery hold detail there empty to show that it has been taken/destroyed already.
-Since we need the purple crystal later maybe bury it in some debris we need to remove to recover it? That would make less likely players would notice it beforehand.
-in Gesler’s dialogue after I replace the crystal he says “goto warp” you probably want a space to make that “go to warp”

idiotamongus

O.o that was fast. Just as I'd finished, I saw that pop up.

torontodave

Thanks for the advice!! *thumbs up*

Gonna make more changes now.. seriously TY for taking the time to help out =D

Trap in the cargo hold? Because it was my first foundry and I wanted to test them.. ;D Figured pirates would want to defend that special-looking chest.. But yeah, I questioned it myself. =D

torontodave

Just published version 1.1 Should be 'live' in a couple hours? I hope?

- Fixed 'guarantee' typo
- Added anims
- Fixed roaring fire sound
- Fixed 2-drink transition (Its lots better now!)
- Removed cargo hold trap
- Added invisible walls to prevent explorers from exploring until that component is reached ;D
- Added more soundFX to all maps
- Extended 'below deck' map
- Mimic reacts instantly
- Unique items now have Item descriptions
- Ruin rubble changed to avoid gfx collisions
- Added lots more combat (should exceed the 15 min mark now!)


Gonna start work on the second quest of the campaign tomorrow, provided you guys don't find any more bugs in version 1.1 ;D

wininoid

I played this earlier today. I was going to say it was over too fast, but it might be good that way as part 1 of a campaign. The setting is non-traditional, so this way players get a good taste of whats coming in a short time, so they'll (hopefully) see it through and then decide to continue or pass. If it were longer, they might just abort part way through and you'd never know. This way you'll see how many do part 1, part 2, etc.

Overall I enjoyed it and look forward to the next chapter.

torontodave

I've updated this quest again! .. It's now twice as long! (20 mins instead of 10.. bring that eligibility on! ;D)

- There's a whole new area to explore in the ruins.
- More combat
- More environment destruction
- Added [Lawful] and [Chaotic] dialog choices [ooooh fun!]
- Secret surprise on the derelict jammer
- An Indiana Jones moment.
- Whole new ending/new storyline elements

Still accepting more feedback! I want to get this quest just right before I start the second chapter. =D So try it today!

- NW-DEJ5E85KF -

reiwulf

Ok I tried it, I'm stuck on the "ruin climbing" part, I've fallen like 10 times and I still can't seem to get the first jump right at all...
EDIT: ok. managed to get it right, it's just the first jump that's tricky, there are some part of the ruins that you fall trough just before the first jump.

I liked it, it was different and the jumping puzzle is definitely a plus.
I think that the quests needs some music though, you could add so much more mood with it, than just a plain silent map