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Reviews: My reviews of the foundry contest entries.
boomba66
Member Posts: 221 Bounty Hunter
I am going to play as many of the posted Foundry Missions as possible and give real detailed reviews and suggestions on how they can be improved or my jealous rant of how yours is better then mine.
Threat :NW-DTSA8NENQ
By: lenoretta
Overview: This is a three map hack n' slash and exploration module with a run around the map and answer riddle's component as well. The author is not a native speaker but does a pretty good job of relaying the story with few errors. Has players looking into a battle where Frinko left his squad to die. It leads into the search for information on the Cult. Its third map can be frustrating, but sets a nice environment and creates a unique map.
Maps: A very strong first map, well built. The story flow is a little rough with little connections other then following the next objective. Second map is a nice explorer map, you have to look to find the objectives. The third map is sorta a jump puzzle, with the whole map being a dangerous fall should you make a misstep. It does create some great views and some harder then average game play.
NPC's: There are a few, they help the story progress.
Combat: A good amount should get a level for a sub 60. Good variety of enemies.
Flow: Until the third map there is a lack of immersion. The story has no natural flow, third map is way better, in terms of immersion and flow. Honestly as the map flows now, you will lose a lot of players before they head to the Underdark.
Next Up: the Dragon's Prize
Threat :NW-DTSA8NENQ
By: lenoretta
Overview: This is a three map hack n' slash and exploration module with a run around the map and answer riddle's component as well. The author is not a native speaker but does a pretty good job of relaying the story with few errors. Has players looking into a battle where Frinko left his squad to die. It leads into the search for information on the Cult. Its third map can be frustrating, but sets a nice environment and creates a unique map.
Maps: A very strong first map, well built. The story flow is a little rough with little connections other then following the next objective. Second map is a nice explorer map, you have to look to find the objectives. The third map is sorta a jump puzzle, with the whole map being a dangerous fall should you make a misstep. It does create some great views and some harder then average game play.
NPC's: There are a few, they help the story progress.
Combat: A good amount should get a level for a sub 60. Good variety of enemies.
Flow: Until the third map there is a lack of immersion. The story has no natural flow, third map is way better, in terms of immersion and flow. Honestly as the map flows now, you will lose a lot of players before they head to the Underdark.
Next Up: the Dragon's Prize
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Post edited by boomba66 on
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Comments
NW-DLVIDYP25
By: docsc00ter
Overview: A strong well connected adventure that fits well within the foundry's limits and the contest given. This will certainly be a contender for the victory with a few neat elements that I was glad to see put into the module. Its lore is very good, the story is strong, and the maps are pretty darn good. Its fun to play, and you find yourself wanting to read the lore rather then "skip" the lore conversation options the author gives. The story is very strong with a very different ending then what is expected. Great boss fight at the end.
For ranged characters it is not easy, but for the foundry that makes it a good thing.
Maps: Very strong element. the maps are unique, you don't obviously recognize the assets of the foundry and flows extremely well with the story. Minor errors I saw, In your wolf pen section the food on the floor is floating, I know this is difficult on the ice sections. In your campfire room to the left there is a part of the map it is possible to fall down. That might be to add to the danger of a high mountain climb. As I built a glacier map as well, was really excited to see how another author handled that.
Flow: The pacing and the flow is strong and your use of patrols for players to pay attention to adds a element of danger for leveling characters. Makes the maps flow well.
NPC's: I was surprised you didn't have more conversations around the Caer you are well known for your NPC's in your other series. That said they where interesting, had good motivations and fit very well into the story.
Combat: Nicely paced, good variety. Mission has to be handled differently depending on class which is a plus.
Overall this will be a top ten for the contest in my opinion.
Would love to see others help as well. Just trying to give some life to this forum :P It certainly will mean I will receive some very negative reviews of my mod for being honest and trying to help the others in the contest.
That Said next review
Wrath of the Dragon
by Evanders111
Overview: This mod takes you to a small village to recover a set of artifacts and fight the Cult of the Dragon. The story flow is a tad rough but works in taking you location to location. The story is a quick read and its right around fifteen minutes.
Maps: There are many errors on the maps that are easy to fix. Door1, Chicken4, just go in and take out the numbers on your map and will help with immersion. The roof top fights are a interesting idea, but you need to put more stable platforms on the roofs, as the mobs tend to fall off or get pulled through. You use four maps and they all work. All of your maps end with "Go to Next Map" this breaks immersion again
Combat: I played this with my 13k GWF, so any foundry is going to be a Cake walk. That said plenty of mobs to fight and no overpowered stacked encounters.
Story: Have someone help you make simple edits to the story. You have many errors that will hurt you in voting, regular players will give you many 1 star votes or not play if they see really rough grammar. It also hurts a bit with following the flow of the story.
Flow: This is where it is really rough. Players get knocked out and wake in a prison with no story element to why. Players fall asleep, fights in a dream wakes up....work on how your story moves. If you want players to fall asleep have them interact with an object have a smoke cloud appear and the interaction has pc fall asleep. Just give a little more details on how each circumstance happens.
As it stands this will get trashed by the general community for little things like grammar and map transitions comments. Get back in there make a few edits and have fun playing with the effects of the foundry. A great first try in the foundry but overall it needs a lot of editing before ready for the top ten.
Code: " NW-DGDHCJVF4 "
Overview: A possible defector in the Cult leads you into a dungeon crawling adventure. This is a combat heavy dungeon crawler that is pretty well done with only a few minor errors.
NPC's: There are a few moments more interaction would have been nice watch the Peasant 17 peasant 24 in your one room. Same with the chickens in your first map. Over all the NPC's have their own motivations and reasons to want to kill the pc's.
Maps: Mostly well used familiar rooms. Nothing to original but also nothing terrible either. They all serve their purpose and the boss fight room had nice atmosphere.
Combat: Lots of fights. Good exp grinder for a leveling toon. Doesn't try and overwhelm the party.
Flow: Solid flow of the game. Never any question of what the story was or where we had to go next in it. The lead npc's motivation seemed a bit weird in having to kill him, but other then that all made sense and kept in the theme.
Overall I liked the story and the crawl. Its a bit rudimentary in its map designs compared to the some of the other quests out there, but they all serve the purpose. Little clean up of the 24, maybe add some atmosphere npc's, and a few more details in the maps and you had a nice solid entry into the contest.
Short code is: NW-DTQ9BEEQQ
Overview: This is without doubt one of the better written modules in the contest. If you like reading well written dialogue, and have roleplaying options for your character this will be a module for you. It's combat is extremely difficult for leveling characters, lots of stacked encounters. for epic characters its a little more challenging them most but still wont break a sweat.
In this module the Harpers and the Cult are back at each others throats trying each to one up the other. The story has several side plots and quests as well as about 50 intractable objects with flavor text and add to the story. IT NEEDS SOUND ADDITIONS BADLY! Its the one thing you notice about playing the module, you hear that annoying running sound through the whole thing. A few well placed and timed sound mods will add a lot to this module.
I enjoyed reading this mod much more then I enjoyed playing the mod if that makes any sense. It really took me into a Saturday night with my DM and friends setting up for a night of roleplaying. Good mod for any pen and paper players.
Maps: In truth along with music this is the weaker area of this module. I have played around 300 foundry missions at this point and written 9, it just seemed very familiar. For all the wonderful work the writer did on his dialogue would like some sound and creative choices used in the maps. Several of the maps are empty except a detail or two. When competing in this contest against some really good map builders your great story could be over "purple" shadowed by the lack of sound and map details for some players.
Flow: The flow is outstanding for an old school role-player like myself. I clicked on everything, read everything and was impressed about how choices in dialogue arc's changed npc's reaction. The story just made sense.
Story: The Strong point. Very good story. The author is a good enough writer to probably pen a book.
Combat: My 47 ranger died.......a lot. Darn those archer's! Think I went through 35 potions in trying to beat a few of the fights. And why was that crazy powerful MercyKiller not helping me! He watched me die over and over! I got mad and did it with my GWF and finished it quickly. This is nota problem of the author so much as the scaling foundry has trouble dealing with at this point in the game.
NPC's Great! Many people to talk to and interact with. Each has a personality and responds different to the type of character you are trying to play.
This module with a few clean-ups of sound and some added detail to map building and spawn mechanics should be in the top ten for the final vote. Nice work I enjoyed it!
The way I see it - the better the Foundry content gets, the more publicity and awareness the Foundry gets, the more development effort is allocated which is a great thing for us all.
Encounter Matrix | Advanced Foundry Topics
Overview: This is a straight dungeon crawl with some good spawning mechanics. There is a hint of a story that could really be fleshed out to make this a much more complete adventure. As it stands now, it feels rushed and like the author had more ideas to build but just wanted to get publishing. Its good for exp or cult/kobold slayer achievements. Tons of enemies to fight. He has a solid pair of NPC's but no back ground or why they are with you. Maps are generally empty of detail and quickly done. One exception the boss fight room is well done.
Story: Its just not there. Duplicate the dwarves home map. Place that first in your story board and tell us why we journey with the knight and the cleric. Give us a mission don't just drop us at the front door with a pair of npc's. the hints of the story are good and so much you can build on. Add some conversations with your Adventuring partners further the tale of the adventure as you explore deeper into the dungeon to find the objective. When you play it if you know what to do without looking at the quest tracker your doing a great job.
Combat: Repetitive. You don't stack anything to make it impossible, and you give the appearance of a solid four man adventuring team. The boss room is where you clearly spent all of your time. If the rest of the maps and uniqueness of the encounters matched this section would be a much stronger submission.
Flow: The whole story appears in the Mission brief. The rest of it flows roughly together. There is a real hint of the story and moving it along in the small amounts of text you give but needs to be fleshed out.
NPC's Decent villain, the rest of the map is devoid of any npc's. No one even assigned the mission, different style then im used to. Maybe not a bad thing.
Maps: Really rough. Your first map your keep has exposed walls up top. Even out your walls. Fix the doors that do not fit, add details we have 1700, use just a few to help tell the story. As it is the dungeon maps are fine, they come fairly well visually well done right in the foundry. The open world maps need some work.
My opinion of this one is its a straight dungeon crawl, lots of killing to be done and heroes to do it. Its "story" lite and could really use some work on the details if you want to compete for a spot in the top ten. If I was you I would play my own adventure and write down all the errors you see in the maps, go into 3d edit mode and fix them. Great effort for a first module and really good baseline foundry mechanics but map building and story boarding need a lot of work.
Overview: This is a long, long module that is well put together but has some challenges at times that are not easily seen that might frustrate your average gamer. It is a very interesting module with really good looking unique "Quest Hub" area's to explore. I only made it half way through the second dungeon map which is very, very good, just really long. Its really tough to play in one sitting for a lot of people. You should consider using world map feature for your dwarven mine so people can go back if they cant get it all done. Story telling is interesting, the NPC help is awesome for a leveling character and its optional. This could be a contender if the community is looking for a very unique dungeon crawl. I just worry its length may scare a few people off.
MAPS: Man river, great work on the maps. Some small issues with a few pieces being slightly over the plane so you see under them or the edges but over all a very workable set of double maps. Couple things that could help. Your chain climbing objectives in dwarven keep and at mine entrance are hard to see and figure to climb, I lost about 10 minutes on the first map "Echoes of the Past" looking for the objective. maybe add "Climb the Chain." so players know what to do to get up to the dwarven healer who gives the coin. Second map very strong, I reached Lanora's camp site before I had to tuck kids in and came back timed out...
Just do a walk through in 3d edit mode of your maps and fix few details that are floating and there is nothing to complain about.
Flow: This feels an awful lot like a "Quest Zone" in any mmo today, with kill quests gather quests, it works very well. I like the fact you have to map explore to find the objectives. The dungeon there is one huge issue I ran into. The Fade to black when you plant the dwarven banner, I was not in reach of the captain to talk to him so I had to flail around in the dark a bit. The dungeon flows well. The only weird part was going from icy mine, to crypt to cave mine but if you think about the flow; it makes sense. I will play this again tomorrow to finish the quest.
NPC's They all feel like quest hubs. Each npc you encounter has a task to do before moving the story along. they really make sense, but it does add a ton of time to the play of this mod. (Really wish we could save game almost in foundry's.) I enjoyed your dwarven spirits helping out with some neat little one liners as we fight.
Combat: Very nice job on costuming and making lots of enemy choices that made sense to your environments. Nothing is over done and it adds to quality of the quest.
Story: Enough there to keep player moving forward. Without finishing the end yet I can't comment fully. Will edit this when I complete.
Overall I really was enjoying this module. Even told a friend of mine that so far its in my top five when I was only half way done. Good mapping, good costuming, a nice flow, lots to do, and some map exploring make this a good entry into the contest. The length of it may hurt a bit, but its good stuff. Really rest of people entering the contest should start playing a lot of these gems. Depending on exposure, and a few clarifications of quest points(the two chains) I feel Cryptic should include this in there top 10 spot on the blog. Just needs some minor editing to be great.
Overview: A simple story and nice dungeon crawl to follow. Has some nice set of fights and uses a few of the pre pop maps well for its objective in the beginning. Leaves a couple of lose ends to wrap up, might lead to a part 2.
Maps: Maps are mostly pre pop or drag and drop dungeon sections. They are a bit bare at times, but a few cool rooms are present with some light effects. Some more music or sound effects could help with direction your looking at going. Nice costuming on anti paladin and your dragon.
Flow: Its a dungeon crawler. Flows well point to point. Fairly straight paths and objectives, nothing to confusing and you know what your there to do.
NPC's Aside from your dragon, you could add a touch of flavor in to them. Maybe have Riverwind help in combat, or have some things to say in the dungeon as she follows. After defeating the boss, you leave something that has to be dealt with back in town and you don't get that conclusion.
Combat: Well done with lots of good costuming to make the fights seem unique.
Story: The story is there to get you into the dungeon and then kind of falls apart a bit. It might be on purples that you leave the lose ends, but you could add a few dialogues in there to bring some emotional impact. In your crystal room add one living to talk about the torture they endured to build some animosity to your chief villain. Few points you could add. But overall a serviceable story to a dungeon crawler.
Over all as I play more and more of these, both good bad and great, I find I get a perspective on what it takes to be a top 10module, then paired down to a top three prize winner. This has the bones of a nice quest, but as anyone who has ever played a ton of foundry's can tell it all appears familiar. Some addition of some flavor effects and details, as well as closing down the lose ends in the story and building some more tension between the cult and the players would go along way in improving his modules chances.
There are some seriously great submissions so far. But, plenty of time to make edits and improvements. Nice effort!
ID: NW-DD5FLOBTJ
Author: @Jintortle
Removed at request of author.
Tomorrow is my last day of doing reviews for a month. Might need some other talented, experienced authors to help out! I mean lets face the truth, if we present ten GREAT modules for the community to play it may just mean we all get more foundry love in the end. I know all of the regular authors all have their groups to help them fine tune and perfect their quests!
BTW Jox yours is next tonight!
D'oh! Was hoping you'd get to mine -- a second set of eyes (and fresh perspective) is always helpful, and you do an excellent job of reviewing details.
Well... still got a couple of weeks of final polishing.
Encounter Matrix | Advanced Foundry Topics
Check your quest reiwulf. I found the kid, got the key and could not progress from there. I found your hidden section with author text, I found what looked like should have been the sewer entrance for the monster. I could not progress past the mansion as I could find no evidence to get in.
Maybe I am just a moron, nice map of Luskan by the way.
I have written to @Akromatic asking them to remove the Post about my Foundry as it is not fair nor time for such criticism or even unfriendly unsportsmanlike spoilers.
Akromatic has responded and told me that he has send you a message to take down the Overview part!
ID: NW-DD5FLOBTJ Cult of the Dragon Foundry Contest - Please participate and vote for your favourite - 26/6/2014 contest rating begins.
Sir Camps A Lot. Mr SlingShot Boom. XX Phantasmagorical. Jinn Dragonfeast.
SlingShot Boom Jr. Jocan Traders. Little Lord Forgatty, Dwarf Mean and introducing Necro Torquemada (The Warlock)
Overview: This is a straight dungeon crawl with no dialogue at all. It uses quest devices to tell you what's next. It has a challenging design using height mechanics and knock back mobs to create difficulty instead of random mob stacks. Its maps work well and is a three part well designed affair.
Maps: The maps works well. Its the strong part of the module. Nice dungeon crawler.
Flow: The flow in second half is right on. The first section when you have to click on each of the four doors after passing, kinda breaks that parts flow, but its not terrible. Good names for your wyrm priests.
NPC's: None to speak of.
Story: Stop the cult.........I guess you stumble across the crypt and have to stop them. You need to add a little story to this module to give it life. Maybe a Harper agent in Neverdeath explains how he came across the temple and needs it stopped. As it is, it really doesn't have a story.
Combat: Good variety, smart using the knockback mobs on pillars to add challenging elements to it. The end with 9 groups on top of one another will give almost all leveling characters trouble. Epic's will even take some damage in there.
Overall this is an effective map of a dungeon crawl; that uses the Cult of Dragon mobs to populate. It could really use some story to help it fit in to the contest a bit more if it wants to make the top ten.
Overview: Avoid it, its bugged and cannot be completed. Its first objective is to kill 28 of the same group of kobolds. One is stuck in a wall. Thank god my book imp could teleport inside the wall to finish it off....then says find secret room....I went o every wall throughout the dungeon....no secret room. Objective seems purposefully set off the map. In truth this module doesn't deserve the details I give the other reviews. There is no story, no npc's, and no way to complete.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, all authors play your stuff before publishing, make sure its able to be finished. If you cant finish it because your having people beta test it say so. I have been taking notes and trying very hard to help the community improve our offerings so people keep playing the foundry. I know others like grimah, elrath, Jox, Orangefree and some great new writers are all putting out fantastic stuff. Its modules like this that keep people from playing the foundry.
AND please, please pleeeeeease go into Previewer/3-D editor and FIX things. You can easily tell when someone has merely used the 2-D editor to place details...
Newsflash: Detail anchor positions ARE NOT WHERE YOU THINK THEY ARE. In many, many assets it is in the middle, or on a corner, or a half-foot below the bottom, or at the top, or (x-28, y+45, z-100) offset.
...Redcap "cages" end up buried half in the ground; trees aren't where you thought you placed them; bags, pouches, bottles all are half buried in the table tops; picnic tables become sit-on-the-ground tables; snow-drifts float a few feet above the ground.
Preview! Adjust in 3-D editor - YOU CANNOT RELY ON SIMPLY DROPPING DETAILS IN THE 2-D EDITOR.
Encounter Matrix | Advanced Foundry Topics
Thanks for the advice!
Yes I had the key. A skull shaped key I believe was the text.
Was it placed on the "Castle wall" that you lay flat sometimes different people get different Y plans on occasion.
and also the featured satirical comedic adventure "A Call for Heroes".
This is what I got confused by too. The text is misleading, and i gave up after a while searching for a sewer grate. I would suggest revamping the outer part, the inside bits are great though.
and also the featured satirical comedic adventure "A Call for Heroes".
EDIT: Ah, it's the message on the door. I'll change that. for now, I'll jsut say that there's an alternate entrance to the house (very close by btw)
About the kid and teh key and the sewer, that's an optional side quest, you'll eventually get to the sewers.
I would like to put out there that "Turtle Soup" by @prettycelt is worth a look, i would say its one of the best ones i have played so far.
and also the featured satirical comedic adventure "A Call for Heroes".