test content
Logo
What is the Arc Client?
Install Arc
Treasure of the Blessed Light now published!
celticgamer0
Member Posts: 537 Arc User
This is my first ever foundry quest and I really hope everyone will enjoy playing it as much as I enjoyed creating it! Thank you to all those who helped me with my questions! :cool:
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
*The end of the Path to Laventree Village is the tiniest invisible clicky, hidden in some bushes. There should definitely be something much more obvious to click on.
*There should be a text pop-up when you find the dead guy; from a narrative standpoint, it's kind of awkward to just see "Talk to a villager complete! Find survivors."
*The next one is even worse; it goes straight from "Find survivors" to "Go to Next Map" without even any explanation of what's happening or where you're going.
*As a whole, the village looks far too peaceful for a massacre having just happened. Maybe sprinkle around some more dead bodies, set some buildings on fire, add some blood splatters...
*Also, the undead are just kinda... there. They don't move around or anything. Setting up some looping patrols can help them feel a bit more lively (no pun intended). Adding more of them in general will also help with the above.
*There are a couple spots in the sewers where you have three or four standard or hard-level encounters that are standing so close to each other that they all pull together. I'm very well geared with a high-level pet, and even I had difficulty here; you should definitely space these out more to provide a fair challenge to the players.
*Cleric Bonswick drops his backpack when you tell him you've come for the treasure, but you can't actually loot it until you've killed Valindra's Guards. Not only does the quest objective not tell you this, but they're hidden underneath the platform in the back of the room where you wouldn't see them unless you deliberately went searching for them.
*The treasure's item description cuts off at "...you know it is the treasure you-"
*The gate at the end of the sewers has separate "Interact" and "Go to Next Map" triggers. You should absolutely remove the former, because - since these options appear above the clickable space, which is up near the ceiling - if you don't notice they're there it seems like the gate isn't working. It's also extremely difficult to actually click on them, requiring you to position your character and your camera in exactly the right spot and angle.
*The [OOC] tag doesn't work in player response text like "You hand the Treasure of Blessed Light to Millian."
Overall, it's not a bad quest, but it definitely needs a lot more detail and polish.
Check out my Foundry questline, The Brightstone Explorers' Guild, now archived on Youtube!
1.) The undead could use some customization.
2.) After the Path to Laventree Village map, it says "Go to Next Map".
3.) Finding the dead body in the objective to talk to a villager has me interact with "Ash Pile 01" Same with the find survivors one.
4.) Leaving the Laventree Village map also says "Go to Next Map".
5.) When talking to Sasha, my response had one to many "a"s.
6.) Leaving the town hall also says "Go to Next Map". I am also confused why I'm used a potted flower to leave.
Check out my Foundry questline, The Brightstone Explorers' Guild, now archived on Youtube!
As per all my reviews, my aim is to help you identify as many possible errors and issues as possible within 1 run so as to cut short your editing time.
Major Issues
1. Transition text should be entered.
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966401738/D7F84CB0BE1D3696179B29DBD22A8AF9B734B02B/
This one is actually okay unless you did not intended for it to be "Travel"
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966405571/AB5D8CB23FD0F3B7FB2BD2443CCFB0077AF834CF/
http://cloud-3.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966410267/92310DF0C6F492EBC92B311FCBAC4519978C7426/
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966416027/A846C3952345B39EB26367F29B66AB43049C25E4/
You can change the transition texts in the "Story" tab.
If you leave it blank, it will be "Go to Next Map" by default.
Do take note of the capitalisation of the first letter because for eg. typing in "head to the town." will give "Press F to head to the town." while typing in "Head to the town." will give "Press F to Head to the town."
Do note the "fullstop" at the end if you want one because for eg. typing in "head to town" will give "Press F to head to town" and not "Press F to head to town."
http://cloud-3.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966412478/39D37D3473C8255480C9C271345435487781F2F6/
http://cloud-3.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966413560/95AA03849E102A50790E76CE41B8BE5CFB68AB7D/
These are well done. Do note the capital E on "Enter" and capital R on "Retrieve", and the lack of "fullstop" for both.
These are perfectly fine if they are intended.
2. http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966407927/BBD6924F603D1A85A79A85CC76BEF438FF552338/
Quest text should not be "Dead Villager".
A solution to this is elaborated later because this is related to another issue but that issue is minor.
Minor Issues
1. Text-based
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966398859/0A4582462E5377304EED4C8214E5499AFF3A5D1B/
"Valindra's forces" from "Valendra's forces"
"Valindra's forces" from "Velandra's forces"
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966400737/8E6AFF35EB28127532278A5D72552135DA4CF49F/
"overlook"
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966409131/978B42728195837CF16FBC5C9361F987F0FEBEBF/
"If there were" - I think it should be "were". For eg. "If I were a millionaire, I would buy that." instead of "If I am a millionaire, I would buy that."
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966414834/9758B4E40A8845732AA4306A4199504CBC5A1075/
"reason"
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966417078/73CA397005E3A7D79CFBE7E861536E4862A8F37F/
"Valindra's forces"
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966418805/70E19EB90CE57A966E4B52A4DE66372E66E1EF22/
"Sergeant"
2. Design-based
(i) Skippable Combat
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966404425/274DFDEC125A2D6FE9E764C084946E0163767EC5/
Unless this is intended, you might want to use "Looping Patrols" for the mobs on the path.
It is currently possible to skip all the mobs and head straight for the final mob, which is set as "Kill" objective, by going around them since they all do not move from their spots along the path.
Alternatively, you may want to place some enemies patrolling in the woods so that if the player were to deviate from the path, they will still face enemies.
This is because the map is a big one. If it is a map that is narrow like the sewers map, it will then be okay to leave the mobs just standing at their post since the player cannot go around them.
(ii) Use of "Marker" objectives before "Inspect" objectives
If you use a "Marker" objective, you will be able to type in a "Reach" text which will pop up when the player reaches the marker.
http://cloud-3.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966406840/31408028BACABC9E9D389EE61DDBCE9179402C51/
The objective reads "Talk to a villager about the treasure" but the actual task is to inspect a dead villager.
It might thus be good to add in a "Marker" objective before the "Inspect" objective.
This way, when the "Marker" objective is in progress, the player is told to "Talk to a villager about the treasure" and upon reaching the marker, you can set the "Reach" pop-up text to be "You spot the dead body of a villager." before the "Inspect" objective begins. Of course, the "Inspect" objective will have to have its text changed to "Inspect the dead body for clues."
The same logic applies for
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966407927/BBD6924F603D1A85A79A85CC76BEF438FF552338/
The quest text definitely shouldn't be "Dead Villager".
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/3334098878966411341/73D0130EECAAAA7DA3396C95F30842F11090FEB8/
The player has yet to see that the cleric is in danger so a "Marker" objective beforehand may be appropriate.
That is all I have for you.
I hope this will help you out.
The quest is pretty good for a first attempt at the foundry.
Well done=)
Thanks for the feedback! Though when I tried to republish it states that the publish feature is disabled...
The "Publish" button is disabled if the publishing process is in progress.
You will need to wait some time for the pubishing process to be completed before it is enabled again.
The duration it takes to complete is random. The longest I have waited is half a day.
Ah gotcha
We can't place more than 1 chest.
This is one of the reasons why foundry rewards are a lot worse than the official quests.
The supposed reason is to prevent us from exploiting it.
I am looking for more plays for my "Absence of light" if you're willing to trade reviews, but AOL is a *long* quest, so if it's not your cup of tea that's okay.
Any feedback I will have I'll either post here or send you a in-game mail.
Now featured!
'A wayward child' is currently taken down for upgrades