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Review Trade: Part I: The Heroes' Tomb
orangefiree
Member, NW M9 Playtest Posts: 1,148 Arc User
Hi. I decided to take a break from my main campaign for a couple days. I went on my alt account and started working on another campaign that I probably won't do much with until "The Arcane Conflict" is done aside from edits, but I ended up making a beta stage of part one. It takes place a hundred years after the main game, specifically my other campaign "The Arcane Conflict".
The idea actually came from thinking about what I would do if I ever was doing a PNP campaign or something that took place after the current time period so I could use my work on "The Arcane Conflict" without completely going against its lore. One of the character backstories started turning into a full quest instead so I built this. As such, one of the characters is very similar to one from "The Arcane Conflict". Don't worry, I pretty much just brought in the character and changed everything else, it is doubtful you will notice any storyline similarities between the two. The similar characters part is even explained in the story.
Spoilers should be very minor. It also assumes you did not play "The Arcane Conflict" and if you did, it was on a different character. (The player character that if used for The Arcane Conflict if you played it is likely to be dead at this point anyways and is even slightly referenced as being that way.) Also, the storyline will make perfect sense if you don't do The Arcane Conflict.
So anyways, I would like to trade reviews. Hopefully this single quest won't be as intimidating as a seven part campaign seems to be.
It is called "Part I: The Heroes' Tomb".
The shortcode is NW-DSDWJQCVC
I am happy to trade reviews. I just released this and did most of the work on it while I was tired so expect some typos and minor bugs, though it is fully functional.
The idea actually came from thinking about what I would do if I ever was doing a PNP campaign or something that took place after the current time period so I could use my work on "The Arcane Conflict" without completely going against its lore. One of the character backstories started turning into a full quest instead so I built this. As such, one of the characters is very similar to one from "The Arcane Conflict". Don't worry, I pretty much just brought in the character and changed everything else, it is doubtful you will notice any storyline similarities between the two. The similar characters part is even explained in the story.
Spoilers should be very minor. It also assumes you did not play "The Arcane Conflict" and if you did, it was on a different character. (The player character that if used for The Arcane Conflict if you played it is likely to be dead at this point anyways and is even slightly referenced as being that way.) Also, the storyline will make perfect sense if you don't do The Arcane Conflict.
So anyways, I would like to trade reviews. Hopefully this single quest won't be as intimidating as a seven part campaign seems to be.
It is called "Part I: The Heroes' Tomb".
The shortcode is NW-DSDWJQCVC
I am happy to trade reviews. I just released this and did most of the work on it while I was tired so expect some typos and minor bugs, though it is fully functional.
Neverwinter players are stubborn things....until you strip them down to bone. (Cursed players, my flowers, MINE!) Oh how I plotted their demise.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
Well done!
I really really like the atmosphere of the tomb.
I didn't really find any major issues or errors except maybe 2.
The rest are all nitty gritty stuff.
Major Issues
1. Floating tomb.
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868530599/2A0E147CC32575522AEE15174BAA98ADE3DE0B36/
2.Window and door
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868537368/BF904A9552E076F751AE37C1C30248D5BD063387/
Nitty Gritties
1. Text-based
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868529286/F8871B3501C8A9F434E5194EC4AE2EDB274E0B88/
"adventurer"
"took place"
"whose names"
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868529952/0532587A689783627950EC2EB537184E3778648F/
"in fact"
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868531327/11A0283D4FE92E5065560964BED8E0BF60BFA5CA/
"apparently"
http://cloud-3.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868531938/D41F326FC3F16AF7BBC20E35AE5526E1ADD19A73/
"buried"
"something that runs in your family though."
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868532923/AB20713E1388DEF48F0995A0E4E1EC36630A1626/
"befriend a rising hero before he or she takes his or her artifact" - because you used "a" rising hero so it has to be in singular form.
"convince"
"convince him or her"
"his or her artifact" or "He or she must give the artifact to me by choice." - The current sentence is a little wierd but I'm assuming you meant that the adventurer must willingly choose the fragment to give her, instead of Nrathae forcing it on him/her.
"apparently"
http://cloud-3.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868534575/0B48B3C0895754EC5C3D3BE509C4F59D6953AD2D/
"Apparently,"
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868536743/D0F994BBA184C95AB7DE12E6D7DDF18C632E8B8E/
"apparently"
"Let's"
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868537950/10D46E48658E78DC451C176CDDF8BCDF5472DDAA/
"would"
"lying around" - not too sure about this one though. I usually won't use "laying" for this context but it could be perfectly fine too.
http://cloud-3.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868538585/C8C6632EE5A8751DFE0177BA2B3BC5F82B940AC4/
"levitate off the ground" - the additional "of" isn't needed but I think it is fine to keep it in as well.
"all of my arcane"
"an estimation I seem to have"
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868540413/6DCB7BF98631259D2DC539C2C7699B37A05931E4/
"apparently"
Design-based
http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/3335220155868536088/A2E27565190026F021E53497AD90D793339CE8E5/
I didn't really liked the kobolds part because they are too spread out and the map is a rather big one.
I have a horse but some players may not have 1 so they may not like "the running around for long distance to find a small looking foe in a large map" thing.
This is of course just my personal opinion.
Perhaps you could make them come to the player or maybe make them closer.
You could also put some interactable details so players will have something to see and read while they run to the next kobold since currently the details are all trees.
There's a detail for the pine tree which is the branches on the ground. You could try using that 1, I find it enhances the forest feel.
That is all I have for you.
I hope this will be of benefit to you=)
Floating tomb! Must be Phaun's! ;P
Text in Journal:
"Before their death" -> "Before their deaths"
"to be place atop" -> "to be placed atop"
Nrathae Dialogue:
"apparantly" -> "apparently"
"by the sound of thing" -> "by the sound of things" (@ temple path start)
Ghost:
"stores all my my arcane" -> "stores all my arcane"
Misc:
I have to echo about the kill 10 kobolds busy work part. I also found it odd that such a lush forest is in the middle of the city that only has kobolds in it. The nightmare combat is much better not just visually and thematically but also ties in quite well to the story. Those mind broken kobolds in comparison didn't seem to have any purpose aside from standing around a forest. Methinks the Lord of Nightmares was having some planning issues in that respect. :P
ETA for the downtime is currently unknown.
Update: 5:16 PM. Progress on the new map is going good. the quest will hopefully be up in a couple hours.
Update: 6:25 PM. I have decided what to do with the new map completely and am currently in the process of updating it. Still no idea when I'll be done and probably won't know until it is almost finished, though I will try to update this post occasionally.
Update: 8:36 PM. Still toiling away at the new map. I have a lot of it done now so hopefully it will be republished today.
Update: 9:54 PM. Designing some puzzles currently. Hopefully they won't be too hard. (Well one is just exploring to find the second puzzle.)
Update: 11: 44 PM: Maintenance is over!
I agree with klkcahboy90: floating tomb, window and door.
I didn't heard any music in the forest, in the nightmare battle and in the house(it was a bug?)
Summarizing: Good job, nice Part I.!
Thanks for playing, I'm glad you enjoyed it. The floating tomb is fixed internally. The fix should be implemented during todays patch. I expect the window to be fixed at the same time.
Nrathae sounded a lot older than 8 to me. I know you probably intend for her to be precocious but even then that seemed like a well read 13-14 year old. She would still be remarkable at that age.
Looks like another good campaign!
Play through notes:
-the first tomb to the left is still floating. Hopefully you don't have that problem with your most recent version uploading? (I see the update on that)
-that room isn't very friendly for placing those tombs in a row, as either the raised areas on the floor clip them or edges are off the ground. If you want I think you could arrange the tombs like a clock on the low areas. Or piece in a false floor that's even.
-when Nrathae is explaining why she is in the Tomb (after I agreed to wait and talk to her) "convince" is missing its N
-after I ask Nrathae for any leads for the next piece "Apparently" has an A where the E should be.
-I didn't notice any sounds on the second map, forest ambiance would be an easy one and covers everything
-the tent at the campsite is floating on one side since the ground is uneven. You can probably just put a mossy rock under it.
-in the first conversation with Nrathae in the Temple of the Planes "Apparently" needs an E instead of an A at the end
-"Let's" is properly spelled with the apostrophe since it is a contraction for "Let us" but it is getting into common usage without the apostrophe. It is in several responses so it is up to you if you want to change it.
-when I talk to Nrathae after picking up the book, in the phrase "Vlathis would" the W in would in capitalized by accident.
(Un)Academic Field Work Foundry Campaign: NWS-DAPZB2CTZ
Thanks. Yes, the kobolds are going to be explained better in the extra map I'm adding this update.
Well that might just be something I'll have to expand on in the new map then.
Patch notes:
New content.
A new map has been added. This map includes new puzzles to solve, new enemies to fight, new story information, and more!
Quest mechanics.
Several kobolds have been removed from the formerly first, now second, "Path to the Temple of the Planes" map.
Detailing and environment.
The lighting in the Heroes' Tomb' has been changed.
The tombs in Heroes' Tomb' have been moved to better align with the map. (And not float.)
The door in the Temple of the Planes has been moved so it is no longer inside a window.
This patch does not contain many, if any typo and other minor bug fixes. those will be added later but for now I just wanted to get the average duration up so I could republish it, along with a few major issues. To anyone who has not played this quest yet, you are now able to change that. To anyone who already has, you are invited to go through again if you wish and see some new backstory, solve new puzzles, and more. Much of the story covered in here is based off of things mentioned by players.
Best thing to do is use some sort of version number to signify the most recent quest. Thing is, that only works for you and people who check the version number in your forum posts, and not the general player base. Seems to be different things that cause it now, not just being on the "For Review" tab.
[UGC] Kolde Acres (Discontinued)
I'll try to start doing that now. I would have before but I often times don't even get a chance to get the updates in before the first five plays are done. At least it seems to have fixed itself now.
I just played through your Part 1:The Heroes tomb. I noted very little in the way of grammar flaws (but then I tend to have problems in that area myself from time to time). The only problem I was having was a constant slow down of the game on the forest maps (Are they at maximum detail?). I thought it was a memory leak, but no amount of restarting changed anything. Some of the enemy's you chose didn't make sense Kobolds don't typically dwell in forests (cave dwellers). Other than that it was a nice story, good characters, and most of the maps were great. Gave you 4/5 cause the Ogre/Kobold was just silly
"...projects are never finished, only abandoned....."
HellsHot is a proud member of Scribes' Enclave.
1. The Haronomous Saga NWS-DJIKP5IWK a four part, story driven, campaign.
2. The Ruins of Xylon NWS-DC76ORA4I a two part, dungeon crawl.
3. Armor Odyssey NWS-DAUPTR46M a three part, story driven, odyssey.
The forest maps are pretty much at max detail. I think one is like 1499/1500 and one is around 1470/1500. I have seen plenty of other quests with max details that don't cause lag though, so I wouldn't think that would be it.
I don't really have many options in the way of encounters to use for solo difficulty. My alternatives would do things like bursts of purple energy, thowing fire boulders, etc. Remember, these kobolds are driven insane by the "master" (You may have figured out who he is, but I won't spoil it if you didn't.) so they will act strangely, and are more powerful then ordinary kobolds.
As for dwelling in the forest, I'll look at adding some cave entrances nearby so it looks like they came out of those.
As for your quests, they were all very good. (Hence the "Great quest" reviews.) I noticed a few enemies that could use some customization, but most of them were already customized. A little more explanation for Quallek's Cube might be nice as well, I know it is supposed to be an arena, but the story did get a little confusing. Wouldn't I have tried to find Quallek or something after escaping the cube?
PS: Do you know how to send PMs on SE?