test content
Logo
What is the Arc Client?
Install Arc
Second quest ready for review trade
casmelak
Member Posts: 89 Arc User
"A Time for Death" is the second quest in the "The Making of a God" campaign.
Both "A Time for Death" and the first quest, "The Divinity of Lankeshire", are now eligible for daily foundry rewards.
Relevant details (I stole the format from imaginaerum1 because there aren't rules against it...and I thought it was a good format.)
"A Time for Death" by @casmelak
Short Code: NW-DDVSHT5TY
Mission Type: Story-driven quest with action sequences and a dungeon delve.
Average Duration: ~25 minutes, but could take quite a LOT longer if you investigate all the optional content. There's an entire side-quest as part of the dungeon delve that could easily double the time if you decide to check it out.
Amount of Combat: Moderate to Heavy, once you get past the set-up, and depending on your choices (difficulty scaling)
Starts at: Merchant in Protector's Enclave
Mission Summary: Prepare to walk in the shadow of gods and brave the perils of navigating space and time itself. Travel to the Inn at the Edge of Forever and brave the nether regions of a fallen temple. Rescue a fair Cleric from an undeserved fate, all to save a young boy from being consumed by the God of Lies. Along the way you'll meet interesting characters, some of whom you'll be able to gain as companions for your adventure. There are also many other people to talk to and books, scrolls, and objects to investigate in your travels.
Author tips/hints: Most of the NPCs are optional, as are most of the items to investigate. If you aren't interested in story, you can skip most of it. The side-quest/extra dungeon requires some puzzle-solving ability and taking an interest in the optional content. If you're just interested in the story, there's a number of difficulty scaling options included in the dialogue, and the extra dungeon includes not just extra monsters, but also more lore and a tie in to the side-quest from "The Divinity of Lankeshire".
I am very interested in any and all feedback you can offer. PM me or just reply back with a quest you'd like me to review as reciprocation and I'll get on that as soon as I can. Now that I'm finished with this quest I should have some more free time.
Screenshots!
SS for the side quest
More and higher res in my flickr Set for the quest: http://www.flickr.com/photos/49563417@N00/sets/72157639578144073/with/11850270856/
UPDATES:
Current version: 1.1.26.14.2
+By popular demand the The Chosen of Cyric has finally gotten around to some remodeling. 'A Place between the realms' has been razed and rebuilt from scratch.
==Completely new map.
==There's now a combat sequence (The Chosen decides to punish you for trying to thwart him regardless of whether you succeed).
+A Shrouded Vale has also undergone an overhaul, and is now more in-line with the lore of the Campaign. There are a good number of optional lore items to investigate, and a substantial amount of damage has been done to the detail budget.
==When you stack the wood the wood pile actually grows now.
==Floating pebbles have been grounded for failure to comply with regulations regarding the laws of gravity.
==The entrance to the valley, the walls of the keep, the foliage, and the surroundings have all seen major changes.
==The Mysterious Adventurer's artifact is no longer situated such that it can be viewed from behind.
+The undead who were creeping around in the walls of Kelemvor's Rest, like rats, have been flushed out.
+The portal in The Inn at the Edge of Forever has been given some upgrades.
+Engaging in dialogue with The Mysterious Adventurer and the Dishboy should no longer result in staring at the back of a wall.
+Hard got a little bit harder in Kelemvor's Rest.
+During the 'Escape' sequence, the mission text should no longer state that the way behind is blocked even though it isn't.
+Arai Havol's Encephalitis has cleared up.
==A lot of dialogue edits -typos and the like- have been resolved.
==A special thank you to @Khasque for their valuable feedback.
+Quest description updated to resolve character encoding issues.
+In Alrica Fenta dialogue: A note has been included to explain that this is part of a campaign
++Also, a new "Author's Note" board has been added to the inn in order to provide new players back-story on the campaign.
+Several typos in dialogue have been resolved.
+Some of the combat in the optional side-quest have been further tuned
+Some of the quest text and dialogue has been updated to be more clear and to allow for player's not having played the previous mission.
+Some of the extraneous interactable detritus has been cleared away and/or pared down for the sake of brevity.
+A new short side-quest has been added to give more interaction to one of the optional dialogues in the Inn.
==Also, the Inn at the Edge of Forever now has more post-modern decor... because I think that's funny.
Please do let me know if I missed anything or if anything new comes up. Thanks everyone for their feedback!
Both "A Time for Death" and the first quest, "The Divinity of Lankeshire", are now eligible for daily foundry rewards.
Relevant details (I stole the format from imaginaerum1 because there aren't rules against it...and I thought it was a good format.)
"A Time for Death" by @casmelak
Short Code: NW-DDVSHT5TY
Mission Type: Story-driven quest with action sequences and a dungeon delve.
Average Duration: ~25 minutes, but could take quite a LOT longer if you investigate all the optional content. There's an entire side-quest as part of the dungeon delve that could easily double the time if you decide to check it out.
Amount of Combat: Moderate to Heavy, once you get past the set-up, and depending on your choices (difficulty scaling)
Starts at: Merchant in Protector's Enclave
Mission Summary: Prepare to walk in the shadow of gods and brave the perils of navigating space and time itself. Travel to the Inn at the Edge of Forever and brave the nether regions of a fallen temple. Rescue a fair Cleric from an undeserved fate, all to save a young boy from being consumed by the God of Lies. Along the way you'll meet interesting characters, some of whom you'll be able to gain as companions for your adventure. There are also many other people to talk to and books, scrolls, and objects to investigate in your travels.
Author tips/hints: Most of the NPCs are optional, as are most of the items to investigate. If you aren't interested in story, you can skip most of it. The side-quest/extra dungeon requires some puzzle-solving ability and taking an interest in the optional content. If you're just interested in the story, there's a number of difficulty scaling options included in the dialogue, and the extra dungeon includes not just extra monsters, but also more lore and a tie in to the side-quest from "The Divinity of Lankeshire".
I am very interested in any and all feedback you can offer. PM me or just reply back with a quest you'd like me to review as reciprocation and I'll get on that as soon as I can. Now that I'm finished with this quest I should have some more free time.
Screenshots!
SS for the side quest
More and higher res in my flickr Set for the quest: http://www.flickr.com/photos/49563417@N00/sets/72157639578144073/with/11850270856/
UPDATES:
Current version: 1.1.26.14.2
+By popular demand the The Chosen of Cyric has finally gotten around to some remodeling. 'A Place between the realms' has been razed and rebuilt from scratch.
==Completely new map.
==There's now a combat sequence (The Chosen decides to punish you for trying to thwart him regardless of whether you succeed).
+A Shrouded Vale has also undergone an overhaul, and is now more in-line with the lore of the Campaign. There are a good number of optional lore items to investigate, and a substantial amount of damage has been done to the detail budget.
==When you stack the wood the wood pile actually grows now.
==Floating pebbles have been grounded for failure to comply with regulations regarding the laws of gravity.
==The entrance to the valley, the walls of the keep, the foliage, and the surroundings have all seen major changes.
==The Mysterious Adventurer's artifact is no longer situated such that it can be viewed from behind.
+The undead who were creeping around in the walls of Kelemvor's Rest, like rats, have been flushed out.
+The portal in The Inn at the Edge of Forever has been given some upgrades.
+Engaging in dialogue with The Mysterious Adventurer and the Dishboy should no longer result in staring at the back of a wall.
+Hard got a little bit harder in Kelemvor's Rest.
+During the 'Escape' sequence, the mission text should no longer state that the way behind is blocked even though it isn't.
+Arai Havol's Encephalitis has cleared up.
==A lot of dialogue edits -typos and the like- have been resolved.
==A special thank you to @Khasque for their valuable feedback.
+Quest description updated to resolve character encoding issues.
+In Alrica Fenta dialogue: A note has been included to explain that this is part of a campaign
++Also, a new "Author's Note" board has been added to the inn in order to provide new players back-story on the campaign.
+Several typos in dialogue have been resolved.
+Some of the combat in the optional side-quest have been further tuned
+Some of the quest text and dialogue has been updated to be more clear and to allow for player's not having played the previous mission.
+Some of the extraneous interactable detritus has been cleared away and/or pared down for the sake of brevity.
+A new short side-quest has been added to give more interaction to one of the optional dialogues in the Inn.
==Also, the Inn at the Edge of Forever now has more post-modern decor... because I think that's funny.
Please do let me know if I missed anything or if anything new comes up. Thanks everyone for their feedback!
Post edited by casmelak on
0
Comments
The main issue I noticed was that the tiefling wizard's head was far too big for his body. You might want to make it a little more proportional. Other then that, I really enjoyed it.
Any chance you could take a look at another quest in "The Planar Conflict" in my signature. I don't care which one, though I would recommend doing the first one this time.
Noted in my 'todo'.
Thanks for the play-through! I'll be checking out the first in "The Planar Conflict" tonight.
No door as you enter the inn. I like having the illusion that I just entered via something.
Having those OOC subtitles with the NPC chatter struck me as weird, but the more I see of them, the more I like it.
"Well, it certainly took you long enough!" -- though I know we disagree on comma usage. *I'D* put a comma after "well"... ... and in a few other bits of conversation. I'm just going to have to agree to disagree with you on these.
Exercising guy: "... laments the interruption.". Avoid passive tense, if possible.
Bookshelf is a nice mechanism to hide the portal!
Nice ruins!
"I went back in time hundreds of years and all I did was collect firewood" Previous heroics: got a book from a bookcase.
Hey, you spelled "piqued" right! If, in this quest, you use the word "complementary" correctly, I may have to find you and hug you.
My dentist told me plaque could be dangerous. I had no idea just how dangerous, until now.
"Our quest is righteous and..."
Nice monsters!
I like the secret runes hidden around.
The dialog for the Fallen Cleric says, "The ghost fades into nothing.". But he doesn't.
I cannot get up to the Spell-Locked Door. It says it is out of sight, but I'm right in front of it. Frustrating.
Now I can't get to the door at all.
Skeletons spawned, attacking the Fallen Cleric who shouldn't have still be here.
Maybe my character was too short for the door?
Aside from the issues getting into the hidden part of the dungeon, I liked this. I found all three dented runes, not sure what those were meant for. They were not the secret sauce to get into that door.
Yeahh...so...you found some bugs! Thank you! And I appreciate the note about the 'COLOR' didn't even know you could do that.
You're right, I should throw a door up in the Inn.
The comma you point to is a matter of opinion, for sure, but I happen to agree with you on that one.
First, the 'Spell-Locked Door' isn't even actually the right place and I evidently forgot to remove the 'interactive' setting for it. The hidden passage is in the north part of the room, under the raised dais. The 'soggy map' dialogue in the entrance says something to the effect of 'hidden in the north.' But, obviously with a big glowy, shiny door at the top of ruined stairs that's labeled "Spell-Locked Door" -- right there in front of the player -- it's going to be confusing. I'll just rip the interactive off that.
The Fallen Cleric's dialogue got edited and I evidently missed changing the event he triggers on.
So, I have editing to do. I very much appreciate you running through and providing detailed feedback. I'll get on those edits tomorrow. I'd do it tonight but I'd be rushed and I'd rather not break it more.
Like its predecessor it was rather confusing, but I'm beginning to sense some sort of tangible plot. This is VERY good.
In general the narrative excelled in this quest, and it almost makes me sad that you spent so much time on the theater-magic joke in the first one rather than focusing on telling the story.
Almost.
I will say though that some of the environments really need work. I VERY much liked the broken crypt, with the borked floor tiles and all, but apart from the inn (which didn't look to be customized all that much) the quest's other locations seriously need some love.
Now, as far as the chaos-plane-thingy at the end goes I realize that you're running this whole 'I never got around to furnishing it' shtick, but It seriously just looks... off. Even when keeping in mind the context which it exists in.
I actually think that simply taking away the small bit of stuff that's in there now and replacing it with a big black void would have a better effect. Maybe have a small rock formation amid the sea of blood? Something like that.
The area in which the crypt is placed... Well, it's not that the decoration itself is bad (save a few oopsies which I will list below), it's just too big and area with not enough stuff in it.
This is something I see a lot in the foundry, and also something that I used to struggle with myself.
You might've noticed that in my adventures I like to keep players in a relatively confined space, even when they're exploring a large area. I like to, without making them claustrophobic and taking away the possibilities of great views and vistas, make sure I know exactly where my players are.
You might be thinking 'well, the big and open areas are great for exploration and gives a feeling of freedom'. This is true. However in my opinion the ability to create a compact yet beautiful environment tends to beat having a loosely decorated expanse.
Try to wall in, using rocks or actual walls, the necessary areas of this map. Chances are that once you move your focus into a smaller area you will have a much easier time creating a beautiful place which your players will enjoy moving through and fighting in.
For an example of what I'm referring to, try and take a look at the inside of Kelemvor's rest and compare the quality of your decorating in a compact space to how it looks outside.
Anyways, enough about environments for now. They ARE what I'd like to call my specialty, but they're not necessarily the most important thing in a foundry quest.
As I've already mentioned the narrative really excels this time around. The dialogue is a lot better, although it does contain a slightly too high amount of 'Facade Speech' (STERN EXPRESSION. STERN EXPRESSION. STERN EXPRESSION.).
Funnily enough for a questline about gods and (so far) being little more than a pawn in the hands of greater forces, the best dialogue comes out when the characters are being human.
My inner writer had a 'F*CK YEAH' moment when Ellie (That is her nickname now. It cannot be undone.) broke down.
That, closely followed by the conversation with the tiefling, was the best dialogue I've seen in this questline so far. **** good stuff.
Aaaand that's all I've got for big-wall-o'-text criticism, I think. I might've forgotten something, and if I have then I'll tell you if I remember. Below is a list of oopsies which you might wanna' fix;
-The book's name is 'The Debate History of the Daellands', missing a D in 'debated'.
-The hidden portal is somewhat underwhelming and looks like it's placed too close to the floor.
-FLOATING PEBBLES! ...at the start of the second map. It's that **** ground-stone texture thing.
-The crystal-artifact thingie placed next to the second map's spawn point glitches out graphically when viewed from behind.
-When you put the four piles of firewood (all the size of the existing firewood stack at the camp) into the firewood stack it stays the same size. Seems a bit silly. :S
-A bunch of skellies spawned just after I read the plaque. Is this intentional?
-I found some undead stuck in one of the crypt's walls, and some of them seemed to spawn at random as I moved.
-When I was moving (very slowly, whilst killing everything that was thrown at me) out of the collapsing crypt the path behind me was never blocked despite the adventure claiming this. I could walk right back to the main hall if I wanted to.
-Despite having no NPC help and activating the difficulty boost the combat wasn't all that challenging.
As I've said before, however, I have a feeling that my tactic of stacking regen-gear and speccing tanky is slightly broken...
Final Score: 5/5. Tipped.
Now, this is sort of a premature rating. As the adventure is right now I think that there's a lot of stuff which needs fixing, and it really should only be a 4/5. HOWEVER, based on what I've seen from you so far you've done a good job of working to improve your maps when you find flaws in them. And really, it won't take much to move this from a 4/5 to a 5/5 (though that final area seriously has to be dealt with...).
Lookin' forward to seeing where this story goes.
Cheers!
-Basilisque
P.S. If we do not get to smack Cyric and his crew at some point I foresee that you are going to have some angry players. 'jest saying. :P
P.P.S. When positing this I noticed that I didn't see the area in the third screenshot posted here at all. Wazzat about?
Chapter One - A Construct's Prison: NW-DMSU8OJTV
Chapter Two - Raggyon: NW-DGIZVSQPU
I'm on it!
Seriously, thank you for taking a run through it.
In the Inn? Hrm, I'll take another look at that.
When you said hidden portal I thought, "YAY someone did the side-quest!" Now I has a sad 'cause I'm pretty sure you're talking about the portal in the inn. Anyway...yeah, last image is from the side-quest.
Yeah, I should just change the message. It occurred to me, after deciding that the crypt would be collapsing as you made your way out, that ACTUALLY blocking the path could cause serious issues if a group went through there. One person reaches the 'Reach Point', the other is back picking up loot, BAM, stuck in a decaying crypt doomed to drown... or drop the quest and flame me.
DOH! I'll be fixing all THAT tonight.
Goooonnna look into that.
Yes
Yeah, I balanced the difficulty scaling really heavily in favor of the 'optional content'. Which is to say, the side quest. After playing Raggyon, though, I think I have a better idea of how to challenge players that want it. So I'll definitely be tuning more.
As to the environments:
The Inn - The main room is about half-custom. Which is to say that I swapped things here and there, changed the layout a bit, removed stuff and added some different stuff, but left the general feel of it alone.
The back started out an empty room, but, again, I tried to reproduce the 'feel' of the front, so I could see how it wouldn't seem very custom.
That said I am planning on reworking a lot of it to add flair.
The Shrouded Vale - This place is going to see a pretty big overhaul. There's a LOT that I didn't do that I intended to, but wanted to get the mechanics and story down first. And honestly, I've JUST figured out how to properly use the 3D editor.
Kelemvor's Rest - Glad you liked it. I spent probably four times as much time on that area as all the rest put together, and the results can contest.
Chaos-plane-thingy - I hate that place. Really, really hate it. It's getting scrapped and done over from scratch. I started the map, stupidly, as an 'indoor' map. Which completely ruined what I had planned, by the time I figured that out, it was about where it is now. I decided to rethink the whole thing, and go back to it when I could prove that the quest, in general, was worth it. (a.k.a there was interest.)
All that to say that I agree with pretty much everything you've said, and am already planning on how to fix it. I needed to get a certain amount done with the third installment before I could though for... reasons. Spoilery reasons.
I know I am sticking my head in someone else's thread, but what do you mean by this, Basilisque? When NPCs lie to or misdirect the player? Too much description? Too much text? Obviously you dislike it, but I'm not sure what that would mean.
(Un)Academic Field Work Foundry Campaign: NWS-DAPZB2CTZ
Facade Speech refers to a manner of character dialogue which doesn't do or communicate anything but a specific character's stereotype. It can be useful to establish a character, but too much of it puts a character in a spot where people start thinking 'Why do I bother? I know what he/she/it is going to say.'
A good example of this can often be found in the way characters placed on moral ledges, Paladins and Assassins for example, tend to behave if their writer doesn't care much about them.
Chapter One - A Construct's Prison: NW-DMSU8OJTV
Chapter Two - Raggyon: NW-DGIZVSQPU
- In the inn, Pleased Rogue's dialogue notes that "she speaks in a conspiritorial tone". This should be "conspiratorial".
- Is it intentional that the boar's head detail doesn't show the frame?
- In the Cook's dialogue, "Lot's of orders" should be "Lots of orders".
- The hay decal next to the Dish Boy flickers - it may be worth adjusting the y value here.
- Both Dish Boy and Mysterious Adventurer's dialogues are blocked by details (cloth and bookcase respectively) - it might be worth moving either the NPC or the detail so that the player can see them.
- I thought the undead horde that attacked Ely and the party was well balanced for such a large group of encounters - it felt difficult without being overwhelming.
- As noted above, the design of Kelemvor's Rest is excellent - from the gushing water to the uneven floors. One difficulty is that the large expanse of water near the main room often causes melee encounters and NPCs to stop moving, but I think that's probably unavoidable.
- The camp at Shrouded Vale and Cyric's pocket realm could use a bit more detailing - I think the framework is there, but a bit more decor could really add some real flair!
When you have a moment, I'd be very grateful for your views on Crimson Descent (NW-DRWNLMGYV).
Typoland population me.
I'm gonna go wiiith, sure, why not. I do remember being quite purposeful about it's placement, but I can't remember why now.
Yep, I should be flogged. No excuses, and NO idea what I was thinking.
Ick, will fix
Hrm. HRRMRMMM. Yeah, I'll figure something out. Probably a combination of moving them slightly back and angling them differently.
Yeah, mobs, pathing, etc. I was shaking my fist at Cryptic quite a bit during making that area. Sadly, I don't know of a solution.
Yeah, that map was the step-child map. I had big plans for it to start then got really...upset with the editor and it's limitations. Now that I have a better grasp of the editor I recognized some of the things I was having trouble with were just lack of experience. SO. That map was tossed, and completely redone from scratch. The new map will launch sometime this weekend hopefully, as soon as I work out all the other notes I've received.
But FIRST!
Consider it done! I'll do that before implementing your suggested fixes though, if I get into the editor right now I won't be seen again till tomorrow.