Two firsts Ready for Review, Please

say1o

My first two builds in this Foundry are ready for review. These are well polished, only items I know left are stated below. They are fully functional.

NW-DRUDWDQ3V Grey Society Introduction (30min+/-)

A short quest introducing to my style of build. The wandering NPC's are just being busy at the moment and I just learned what their set behavior actually does. So they are in choreography classes now. The rest needs new eyes to look over. (Anyone know a good foot speed setting? Sure it maybe good enough for the masses, but they are just ants roaming wild right now)

NW-DDGLMRIJZ Following the Grey Society 1, (20min max)

This is supposed to be very short, nothing special, very low combat, more introduction to some common themes will see in future works, like the Meeting Hall itself. As I design puzzles for this limited toolset, this mod may grow. But for now, how well can you jump? LOL.

I like all criticism. Thanks in advance to anyone who plays! My toon is only lvl 30 fyi. But i will review any who ask.

casmelak

I'll check these out later today and let you know when mine is updated for your review.

Just wanted to give you a bump for now.

casmelak

So. I was unable to finish NW-DRUDWDQ3V to give it a review. Got stuck in a wall. I don't think that it's entirely your fault at all, game glitch. But I'd recommend taking a look at the mob placement in the cave tunnel right before the respawn point. A dragonshield kobold was inside the model of a rock and got me stuck in it as well.

Here are my thoughts from what I was able to complete.

NW-DRUDWDQ3V Grey Society Introduction

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--Recommend adding an interactable for the closed off path through the first map. It can even require an object the player doesn't have so they get a big red 'Looks like you'll need to find a way around'.

--First dialog with the caretaker.

Consider changing "Thats why Im just the caretaker for the Grey Society" to "That's why I'm just the caretaker."

Also, it might be best to normalize the "the" as part of the proper name or not. It's either "The Grey Society" or the "Grey Society".

"clogg" -> "clog"
"invigored" -> ("invigorated" || "engaged")
"somone" -> "someone"
"insure" -> "ensure"
"its" -> "it's"
"compitition" -> "competition"

--Market Courtyard

Recommend music/sounds. It's awful quiet in there.

"Whait a minute now friend..." -> "Wait a minute now friend..."

Finding repeated 'Empty' messages gets old. You include a handful of custom messages. Try to make more of those than just 'Empty'. If they're funny or interesting there's still a sense of some reward, when you just get 'Empty' a bunch of times it starts to get frustrating and the player begins to lose interest.

Also try customizing the enemies a bit. There's nothing wrong with using the same encounter type, but having them have different boots, color shirts, etc, adds flavor and makes things more interesting.

Several of the traps in the sewer are 'under' the floor. Making them impossible to disarm for taller PCs.

I'd also recommend changing the 'interaction length' to short or even instant for most of the interactables. Medium is fine once in a while for suspense purposes, but if I have to look through 25+ things and watch my PC pantomime opening a box for 5 minutes I'm going to get impatient.

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NW-DDGLMRIJZ Following the Grey Society

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--First impression

I like the detailed environment quite a bit.

I hate the medium and long interaction lengths.

Bookshelf, south wall, first room on the right of the hallway, "Nothing of intrest" -> "Nothing of interest"

I recommend using different fires in different fireplaces rather than the same 'campfire -> wood/large' everywhere.

Delfia Pensmith:

"individule" -> "individual"
"Your here for money, wealth, full pockets on dead bodies, freshly buried rich men and their wealth.?"

"You're here for money, wealth, full pockets on dead bodies, and freshly-buried rich men and their wealth?" (you use 'wealth' twice in one sentence... consider a different word choice there)

Caretaker:

"intrest" -> "interest"

"But before we the Grey Society will let anyone work for them..." -> "But, before we, The Grey Society, will let anyone work for us"

The 'oil and water' cauldron test has a couple 'press x to interact' messages.

Found a couple more traps under the floor in the under the sewer dungeon.

OK. Didn't finish this one either. I quit out during the 'agility test'. Bad geometry in a few places there. I'm sure it's doable, but up till that point there simply isn't enough story to keep me interested past a few tries.

It's an interesting concept, and you have some good ideas, I may just not be your target audience.

Good luck, I won't hold you to the review trade since I wasn't able to review yours.

I'll keep an eye out for any updates.