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Review Trade: A Higher Justice
boomba66
Member Posts: 221 Bounty Hunter
NW-DMARQ6A4D
Part four of my campaign "And Justice for All."
Spent ton of time on this one, needs some minor tweaking still but want some feedback from fellow authors before adding all the extra fluff. Will trade reviews.
This one includes A flying Airship battle, a trip to Port Llast, a trip to Luskan and a flying Netherese outpost. Unique challenges, lots of companions and NPC interaction. Like all of my modules has lots of Forgotten Realms Lore and Unique monster manual enemies.
Part four of my campaign "And Justice for All."
Spent ton of time on this one, needs some minor tweaking still but want some feedback from fellow authors before adding all the extra fluff. Will trade reviews.
This one includes A flying Airship battle, a trip to Port Llast, a trip to Luskan and a flying Netherese outpost. Unique challenges, lots of companions and NPC interaction. Like all of my modules has lots of Forgotten Realms Lore and Unique monster manual enemies.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Post edited by boomba66 on
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Comments
I'd never turn down an additional play of my new quest TUUM (NW-DR2GL2VJL) if you'd like to take a look.
I am not sure if you are facing the same bug as I have bee having IN PE but my first portion of the quest was to travel to the island so I believe that left me a bit behind on the poem. Now for my standard review trade format
Maps: Completely custom and unique. After falling into the tuum I mean Tummy I couldn't figure out how you made that environment. After 500+ hours of writing and map making in the foundry I found that remarkable. Great map like nothing else I have played in the foundrys.
Story: Very cleaver, you bring a legendary monster to life in a way that makes such great sense. Fans of dnd will love this story.
NPC's: Your four Gensai are very believable and each has there own personality. I find many of the npc's fall very flat in foundry's yours did not.
Combat: You are a wave combat fan, I enjoyed the way you worked your waves into it rather thn just harshly throwing mob after mob. Your skeleton models where very good. As was each of your Gensai, they all felt like the race, very good.
Flow: Starts a bit rough with the book but after the monk fight I find immersed in the island and really into the mission.
Writing: Humor, story, lore are all blended to tell a masterful tale that I do believe Cryptic will have to feature.
Very much enjoyed this adventure. You will find this one at the top of the best in no time.
Sent an in game mail with notes as I seem to have issues sending stuff to this forum.
Would appreciate a review on The Silver Sword when you can manage one
The Silver Sword - NW-DEIPWYISA - Daily Qualified
A Relaxing Stay - NW-DEEYNZYZ9 - Daily Qualified but going to be updated
Silver Sword Review
Map Good use of teleport devices. The map its self is a bit bland in the dungeon portions makes it easier to get a little turned around. If that is the intent works well, I got mixed up a few times. If not could use a few details added in on the walls or ground. Like the random patrols.
StoryReally enjoyed the first conversation with Frinko but several of the threads seem to be incomplete. Asking about Kha, ended the conversation chain before I got to explore them all. You used good dnd/realms lore to set the story up of the silver-sword. WOULD LOVE to have seen a Githyanki pop at the end to help me fight the end fight for daring to even mention the Silver-Sword. You know how those Githyanki are about those legendary blades.
Combat Played normal, had some trouble on last fight due to large numbers. Had to blow through some potions but I don't mind a challenge. Like I said a popped "SURPRISE BACK" friendly fighter right there with a Gith skin would really add a little SilverSword flair to the mission.
Flow: This is one area I thought it was dragged down a little. Instead of naming them all as Guardians maybe give each of the four a little back story as to why they feed power to your crypt villain. Moving to the same encounter four times dragged the flow down a bit in an otherwise really good mod.
Work Needed Clean up the Chain in lore conversation with Frinko, only glaring mistake I saw.
Good dungeon crawl. Thank you for your review of mine with the notes of bugs as well. As you know in the modules you tend to miss some of your own small mistakes.
I'd appreciate it if you could check out mine anytime you can (it's in my sig). However, there's a bug about not finding the newest published quest. I'd go to Vellosk first, then search for my quest in the catalog. If 'Twilight Arena' shows up, then that's the old version. Thanks
NW-DKK8NIRO6
Joachim the Coward Review
Maps Nice maps, tons of rooms and good flow. Had a nice arena feel to it, would be cool if somehow to work spectators to the champion room. Really liked bonus content and how tough the fights where.
Story: I kinda play the good guy type so wouldn't take that kind of challenge. Once in it though you do allow for choices a hero would make and I liked that style. Little off on why Joachim was with me I might have missed some dialogue. The map and story match well and a planar "UFC" style tourney works well.
NPC's Liked your champion and the ghosts. Really liked the options you give for scaling of party individual or small groups I know that took a ton of work so great job grinding through that.
Flow Strength of the Module very nice combat and movement flow. It really is easy to know how to move point to point without having to look at the quest tip or follow a golden trail. Very intuitive.
Well done enjoyed the module.
I really enjoyed your quest. It was great on environment, story (and plot twists) and clever ideas. I hadn't played the previous parts to the story but that didn't seem to diminish the plot or engagement - I'll certainly play them now.
I spotted a few things that will help improve the adventure (avoiding any spoilers).
On the beach - I clicked on the cross sign on the building and nothing happened.
Stormblade - you need to rename this, change the dialogue in the F interaction and make it disappear after you take it.
On the beach - the boat interactable, mention that you're be travelling to Luskan since it moves you to the map.
In Luskan, have more rubbish on the streets and board up some of the door (since this is mentioned in the conversation).
In Luskan, I didn't understand why the pirates were undead, maybe rename them?
On the sailing ship (rose?) - the catapult is floating a bit in the air. Whilst very beautiful scenery below the ship I think you could do with more detailing on the ship itself, looked very bare.
Captain conversation - typo "uneventdful"
In the clouds - Melody says "foget your first". Also you could use the clouds "items" from the foundry ad backdrops.
In the sewers - says press F to exit map
On the boat looking over the edge just before the final action - "teh might airship"
Overall - amazing story - 5 well deserved stars.
I think you'll enjoy playing my story too, DnD Lore, carefully created landscapes etc. - Thanks.
422 - Yeenoghu's Bride
NW-DUMTEJ9KZ
http://nw-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?411131-Proud-to-present-for-reviews-422-Yeenoghu-s-Bride
Maps: HOME RUN< TOUCH DOWN! Really nice maps I know they took forever to get right. Your giant statue to the god of Gnolls was so **** good. Really clever use of tools to make the three headed flail. Overall really good map aking that give a unique feel to your quest. That's tough to do when you have played as many foundry's as I have so far. Great special effects to make the different Planes sky.
Combat: Nice costumes on the dretches and some of the gnolls. Good combat with a few optional fights that where challenging. You know I just had to try and peek in the door of plane 421. Good hard fight there with the old single file in the hall way lightening bolt moment.
Story: Good, it somehow lacks a connection. I am not sure if that's because my first step was to meet in house on Deekin street as due to the bug in PE. Couple of suggestions.
1. Little background on your paladins guarding the gates. Give me a god and a mission, get rid of the generic cleric garb I have witnessed it way to much. Use torm and throw in some tormish looking armor and you have yourself a little more caring for those at the fort.
2. Your a good writer. Give us a little more on the lovers back ground. Give us a way that if we choose to fight we feel sorry for the two.
3. Pirate Area, give us a little background on them when talking to Joe, or maybe after defeating White Beard. Loved the map feed the story hungry player like me!!!
Flow: Maps really are impressive so I explored a ton. Made my play through probably twice as long as average. It was ok though because I loved seeing what you did. Made the event flow along well. Explorers should love these maps.
NPC's Name a few of your paladins. Give Trisha a background story element in her conversation. Your old scout mage was a clever fellow to have around and his scouting path was great way to have pcs find the right direction. Paladins guarding the gates to hell......Reasons and story there. Most players wont care but I would love the back ground.
Overall, I finally got to see why you where always saying "Proud to present" about your module. Your map skills are fantastic, your demonic lore is right on point and to go as far as construct out of small rocks a 400 foot statue was impressive. Your writing was crisp and not overly wordy. There is a slight disconnect from the npc's that is truly the only flaw I can see. Give the pc's a slight more reason to care and your tragic ending will carry more weight.
I really enjoyed this module. Great work.
The story was really good and easy to follow along even though I never did the 3 previous missions in the campaign. This makes me want to go back do those other 3 missions as well. Certainly 5 star material.
The main critique I have is those encounters in beach area. The Sea Mystics were able to out heal the damage my Devoted Cleric was able to do. I think they were stacked encounters with rather tough minions that would never die because the mystic healed them. The NPC that was supposed to help in the fight just ended up dying. The only way I was able to defeat them was to glitch the Sea Mystics into geometry and kill the minions separately then go back and kill the mystic. The Sea Mystics were the hardest fights in the mission by a mile. The bosses by comparison were easy peasy.
Other than that every other part of the mission worked fine with no bugs. The costume designs were very nice and the custom maps had great atmosphere. Additional points for dramatic music and effects is what really made this foundry shine.
Over all good job on this.
Please check out my foundry Claiming the Halfling District: NW-DIRTSMWZH
Thanks
Sequel: The Return to Sloping Street NW-DACVPHGHW
Part 3: The Merchant's Tower NW-DC3LB6TZ9
In an effort to help you out with some errors that I know would get you low ratings from the general players of foundry's going to point out the errors.
Maps: Nice use of a generic map with good details added by you. Couple of fixable errors.
1. Portcullis is locked with no key. There is a small path to the left of it I squeezed through. Is this intended?
2. I choose the option to kill the shady dealer yet she stays on the map. Good way around this is use the "Dialogue complete options." So have her die then appear. Use follow for npc if they choose to take her to PE for the courts. Or use the death scream and corpse effect if they choose the other.
3. Sniper Archers appear on wall with no Sniper point. So I had to search the map to find one that got stuck then move back to the shady dealer. If you add sniper point they ill stay there. This might be trouble for none ranged classes.
4. Your beacon Side Quest doesn't seem to work. I went around in search of them and found nothing.
NPC's I like them a bunch. Add a little back story of where the clan is coming from and why they need this street to settle for story people. Just takes one added response with (LORE), this might even add a minute or two to your quest to allow it to become daily eligible.
Story Classic huckster tale of betrayal praying on the collapsed housing market.....oh wait that's pretty timely stuff
Combat Nice easy combat quest. Makes a epic hero feel like he is only facing under geared bandits and smashing them. The snipwer ambush see above to make corrections. This may lead to some people bailing on your map.
Flow: Not bad, little bit of running back and forth for the mistress and the wife. Might be funny for you to add a "OH YEAH" moment in there and try to have the wife kiss the hero that rescued them! But I enjoyed that part.
Overall its just shy of the 15 minutes needed for daily. Many non writers will not play the shorter foundry's if they don't meet daily standards for the AD. If you could add a touch more story, lore or finish off the finding the beacon portion to make it to 15 minutes you will see your amount of plays go up. Its a nice light funny foundry with some enjoyable Halfling NPCs.
Melody was with me at the start of the fight but she died after about a minute. My Man-at-arms died right about the same time too. NPCs have a bad habit of never moving out of red circles. The mobs were all at full health because the Sea Mystic healed up all the damage. This was a 20 minute fight BTW until I found some terrain to hang up the Sea Mystic on. Lich was very easy by comparison because nothing in that room had much HP and couldn't heal so it died fast.
Sequel: The Return to Sloping Street NW-DACVPHGHW
Part 3: The Merchant's Tower NW-DC3LB6TZ9