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Foundry-- Hallow's Thicket
scmiller
Member Posts: 40
Something Wicked this way comes... A nasty, dark Fairy tale that centers on a demon who steals children from their bedrooms. Macabre atmosphere, and a story that is tight, and interesting. Not typical hack and slash. I have three reviews so far (very positive) and looking for two more. I will happily accept a quest for review in trade. Solo adventure, difficulty is easy to medium... Please let me know what you think and any comments that you have. Honestly, I have done some of the "contest winners" and I truly believe if you do my quest, you will be pleasantly surprised! HALLOWEEN IS APPROACHING! MY GOD, TRY SOMETHING NEW! BELIEVE ME THERE ARE MORE TALENTED AUTHORS OUT THERE BESIDE THE ONES THAT HAVE BEEN PLAYED THOUSANDS OF TIMES!
# Had to replace "child" with sons and daughters since, somehow, the creators find the word "child" offensive.
NW_DRMS5JEGC
# Had to replace "child" with sons and daughters since, somehow, the creators find the word "child" offensive.
NW_DRMS5JEGC
Post edited by scmiller on
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Please try my quest as well, The Missing Unseen NW-DLW8SB9CN I hope you enjoy it.
(I've since unpublished, but ... still, funny)
Wicks and Things: NW-DI4FMZRR4 : The Fenwick merchant family has lost a caravan! Can you help?
Beggar's Hollow: NW-DR6YG4J2L : Someone, or something, has stolen away many of the Fenwicks' children! Can you find out what happened to them?
Into the Fen Wood: NW-DL89DRG7B : Enter the heart of the forest. Can you discover the secret of the Fen Wood?
Family Secrets NW-DM71LY21M
I ran your quest today, I have to say it was an enjoyable quest. Your detailing in each map was nice and your story kept things moving along. The combat was not to difficult, but appropriate to the steps, nice work.
As mentioned above, I did find the thicket area, somewhat cumbersome to navigate, many parts looked like paths you could take, but were blocked, while some paths you could use, had weird angles to get through them, perhaps thin out a little where the actual paths are supposed to be? I also found this issue inside the cave with some of the large vines on the ground. Even the mobs were having to jump over them, and it looked funny as they jumped like 5-6 feet in the air when they did it.
A few things I noted ... the use of Protector's Enclave .. while I liked the use of the area and the interaction, comments etc. Keep in mind there is a known issue with using this area in the quest. If for any reason you need to change maps, like to laggy or such, this can cause you to lose the quest, which happened to me. I had to log off, then back on to get it back. Not everyone knows this and you may lose some people, thinking its bugged.
At the first goblin camp ... the first set of goblins are just standing there, they are next to rocks, maybe have them hammering? the 2nd set were doing things so looked ok.
Gorrot first meeting ... just says Gorrot on the quest list, have to walk past and behind him to get it to advance to talk to him.
I made a list of the items you interact with, that had the default names still on them, however, I found I was running out of space on my page, really fast, so I'll just sum it up as ... please check every item you ask the player to interact with, they all, save two, have the default name. (ex: just inside the cave, runes on wall ... "Runes - Chalk 08" is the name that comes up in the window title.) The two that didn't have default names ... after entering the depths, the bone pile name is "INV" and the torture cage a bit further in is "Goodone".
A bit of polishing and this quest will be a very nice quest, your doing a great job
If you get a chance, please review my 2nd quest, in my sig.
[1] Devils in the Sewer
[2] The Summoning
[3] Temple of the Winds
Clan Ravenclaw
Children's Babble
Solstice Academy
Very creepy little adventure! I especially appreciated some of the custom costuming you did for the NPCs and encounters. The witch was appropriately scary, and the large misshapen wights were the stuff of nightmares.
The final dialogue with Gorrot was very moving. Well done!
Some of the quest objectives need to be re-written for clarity. Reading "slab of flesh," "the pit," or "skull pile" doesn't really tell the player what needs to be done. (As a result, I completely bypassed examining the statue and found myself running all the way through the completely barren map of the goblin lairs before realizing I needed to go back to the beginning and look for a sparkling object.)
You might try some lighting effects in the outdoor map with the witch. I wonder what the thicket would look like if illuminated differently in a darkened map.
Speaking of the thicket, I found myself craving hedgeclippers! Navigating the tangled bushes and trees was a chore, and at some point it became more frustrating than fun. While I appreciate the realism of having to push through all those branches, the gaming aspect of it wasn't as welcome.
Also, like someone else mentioned, the first time I encountered Gorrot, I had to walk past him and then step back a bit before the quest objective changed and allowed me to speak with him.
THANK YOU for the adventure!
(If you'd like to trade reviews, I'm still gathering feedback for Danger in the Sky as mentioned in my signature. Thanks.)
The Foundry needs to bring on your quest first.
Are you living in a bubble scmiller?
Hehe, no worries. And just in case you missed BadBotLimit's message. Do not move your teleporters. There is a bug that has moved them, but it will be fixed and they will be placed in their original positions.
Here are some typos and minor things I saw:
--The interact text to get the map from the sewer grate reads as "Press F to You sift through..."
--Upon first entering the Cave, there's a rubble pile floating a few inches off the floor.
--For translate more runes, "excitement" is misspelled.
--At the blood pool, "their" is misspelled.
--The Goblin King, "pieces" is misspelled.
--In conversations with Gorrot, the player is looking at his chest instead of his face. It's not a major problem, but it would help immersion if the player could climb a rock or stump before the convo to bring Gorrot to eye level.
--Gorrot's convo, "mausoleum" is misspelled.
--Transformation Machine, remove the apostrophe from "its".
All in all, a very fun, technically impressive Foundry. I'd appreciate your feedback on "Hive Mind". Thanks!
Hive Mind (NW-DN9YKEVUS): Get inside a crashed alien ship to discover its purpose.
Absolute Zero (NW-DOVUXHT8P): Activate a massive teleportation machine to pursue an evil mastermind.
EDIT: found it, I had to search it by the quest name instead.
You are most welcome to give my new submission TUUM (NW-DR2GL2VJL) a whirl - and it'll even count toward a daily Foundry at this point. Interestingly enough, it is also about exploring the rumored truths behind a supposedly fictional tale, though you definitely run in a very different and awesome direction.
Notes incoming, and thanks for sharing this!
(Un)Academic Field Work Foundry Campaign: NWS-DAPZB2CTZ
I thought it was a great classic scary campfire story. I thought the ending with Gorrot was well written. I also especially liked Bolaris.
(Un)Academic Field Work Foundry Campaign: NWS-DAPZB2CTZ