My quest need proofreading

magic88255

Please I need help.
can any one help me ?
my quest is live
short code : NW-DH9ZOZ274

karitr

At the bloody desk you tell Linda you have found a diary and she tells you to "play it!" This should be changed to "read it".

First page of diary, change "men's domains" to "man's domain".

NPC name - 'Possess Linda' should be 'Possessed Linda'.

Conversation with her -
"...what she trying to say." should read "...what she is trying to say."
"its going" should read "it's going"
"hurts" would be better than "hurt"
"spills her guts" not "spit"
"her head begins a slow but constant rotation"

First Cutscene
"lead you" not "leads you"
"begin to feel a fear" not "begins to feel the fear"
I'd change "stone way" to "stone path"
"lit up" not "enlighten"
"reach" not "reaches"

Second Cutscene -
"merge" not "mess"

Elfs -
"You're our" should read "You're ours!"
"The breakfast has arrived ladies" not "The breakfast is arrive"

Cutscene three -
"two humans" not "two human"
"adapted" not "adapts"
"elfs appear in an explosion of lights and begins" should read "elfs appear in an explosion of light and begin"
(Lizabeth "screams") not "scream"
The elfs "kiss" the man.

Conversation with Lizabeth -
needs an "I" before "am not going to hurt you."
"attack us", not "attacked us"
"would have" not "would of"
"It's your father's" not "its"
"mentioned" not "mention"
"It's in the" not "Its"
"please make abstraction" not sure if your intent is to tell Lizabeth not to look (well there is a lot of blood and all ), if so probably best to say something "It's best not to look, but listen to this".
"That is my father's voice" not "This is"
"wife is become" should be "wife has become"
"I have unleased" not "I have unleash"
"Anna tried" not "Anna try"
"Dragged her" not "drag her"
"to the cellar" not "at the cellar"
"the choice" should be changed to "any option"

Wasn't too bad but there may be more I didn't catch (it's late and I am very tired).