First Quest Completed! Adventuring College.

drakesigar

Looking for reactions on my first quest Adventuring College.

Type in Adventuring College in the name/summary/short code box, or if you’re feeling crazy the codes are below:

Campaign ID: NWS-DMB673G33
Quest ID: NW-DPCZNUVQ7

Caving in skulls is thirsty work, so you head down to The Randy Kobold for a pint of Edwina’s best, where an attractive young lady offers your greatest challenge yet. You’ve survived many things during your travels – demons, wizards, condescending narrators, but can you survive… Adventuring College?

No, probably not.

A male-centric comedic solo adventure
Over 100 lines of dialogue
15 minutes of playtime
First of a Three Part series

drakesigar

Adventuring College has received a few reviews!

‘Regrettably failed to lick magic orbs’ - Mirimero

‘Really enjoyed the depth of character’ - Rhiarion

‘Very nice quests’ – Meysa

'Get me out of this room' - Player Character

oortexplorer

Enjoyed your quest. I love the possibilities for humour with the Foundry tool, laughed out loud a couple of times. I'll agree with one comment that the last section is perhaps a bit too long, where you run through several basically identical rooms & hallways, fighting the same spiders (although I guess the encounters get progressively more difficult, which makes sense). Perhaps you could add a little detail to differentiate the rooms a bit, although it's not a big deal. Could also beef up the story a bit more, but it's good as is. Can't recall any major spelling or grammar issues.

Good stuff, hope you get more plays. If people want a laugh, check this one out. Looking forward to Part 2.

(I don't know if you've played my quest or not, but it's somewhat similar in the style of lighthearted comedy. Link in sig if you would like to check it out.)

drakesigar

I'll check it out.

So here's an interesting comment - I was accused of promoting a heteronormative view, which apparently means 'relating to a world view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation.'

The gaming industry has been hit hard these past years by criticism related to sexuality, sexual orientation, and even racism. I felt extra conscious about how my women would look, or Malus who is homosexual, to the point where I rewrote some characters from the ground up for better representation. I can only speculate the comment mostly refers to the protagonist, who is indeed written from the perspective of a straight male. Don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with writing from a perspective you're 100% confident with though, it makes the writing look better than it actually is. (I'm thinking of a dwarf-only adventure to reclaim an ancient hold The Hobbit style, but only because I know Dwarves inside and out from years of D&D, Warhammer, and LotR).

mirimero

***As always, SPOILER ALERT, to anyone else reading this****

Aight. This is days overdue but I sort of got caught up making my own quest.

Really, as far as male-centric quests go, this was more off-center than most! I liked Malus' comment about princes (man, one day I'd like to rescue a prince (though the princess, in the case, was kind of awesomely disappointing in a way that made me laugh)).

I have a bone to pick with you, though. I was all set up to pretend to be a chauvinistic macho man and get my sleaze on with the ladies, but that all got derailed when all the eligible females were more interested in winning the adventure challenge than in flirting with me! It was an outrage! How dare you!

Kidding aside, though, I think you did pretty well in portraying the ladies. Gwen was hilarious. I'd like to see more of Malus too. I mean, it's hard not to be curious about a mage who has a Pocket Dimension of Pillowfights. So yeah. Loved all the NPCs, like I said. And I really enjoyed playing the creepy stalker and watching them sleep. It's nice to be rewarded for going off the shiny glowing sparkletrail, I always say.

Just a few notes. I had an issue with the rug, the one that the cat was on, near the bartender. It was floating off the ground a bit.

I was also overwhelmed by that encounter with all the spiderlings (I think you had 15 or 20?). That's a lot of little monsters doing constant damage. I made it through after the second try, but I'm thinking some players might find that one too hard, especially if they're not meant to CC. Like some wise person in the forum once said, most players are casual gamers who are not excellent at combat but like to feel that they are. (Confession-time: I'm one of them.) I think a few of them might quit at that portion. Just something to think about.

Also--and this amused me and made me think--I think a lot of players get all confused by the adjective "male-centric" in your description. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your effort to advertise correctly. And I do love a man who's down with feminist and/or HAMSTER theory. (You are awesome.)

But going by the general demographic, your target audience is still mostly heterosexual males, and I think using the phrase "male-centric" causes, er, give me a smaller word for cognitive dissonance? Anyway, I mean it'll make them go "Huh?" Because why wouldn't it be male-centric? In most people's minds, male-centric is the default. Calling attention to it is like the corner grocery advertising "human-centric products sold here!" Long and short of it: It confuses guys who expect everything to be male-centric and wonder why you're pointing it out. Also, it makes girls not want to play it, since it's labeled for guys, after all. (I consider myself lucky that I saw your thread screenshot and realized that I was missing something special.)

I respectfully suggest considering taking that phrase out. Unless you really want to make a statement against the evils of heteronormativity (totally evil). In which case more power to you!

drakesigar

Oh my gosh, this is so helpful! Thank you so much for these suggestions. I'm glad you loved the NPCs!

mirimero wrote: »

I have a bone to pick with you, though. I was all set up to pretend to be a chauvinistic macho man and get my sleaze on with the ladies, but that all got derailed when all the eligible females were more interested in winning the adventure challenge than in flirting with me! It was an outrage! How dare you!

The sexual jokes and flirting were originally turned up 300% (it is College after all!) but I was mildly concerned about how harsh Cryptic's policy of no adult content was, and where they drew the line.

mirimero wrote: »

I was also overwhelmed by that encounter with all the spiderlings (I think you had 15 or 20?). That's a lot of little monsters doing constant damage. I made it through after the second try, but I'm thinking some players might find that one too hard, especially if they're not meant to CC. Like some wise person in the forum once said, most players are casual gamers who are not excellent at combat but like to feel that they are. (Confession-time: I'm one of them.) I think a few of them might quit at that portion. Just something to think about.

The narrow hall halfway in the maze area? That won't do. Don't want players to have much trouble before getting to the fireplace.

mirimero wrote: »

But going by the general demographic, your target audience is still mostly heterosexual males, and I think using the phrase "male-centric" causes, er, give me a smaller word for cognitive dissonance? Anyway, I mean it'll make them go "Huh?" Because why wouldn't it be male-centric? In most people's minds, male-centric is the default. Calling attention to it is like the corner grocery advertising "human-centric products sold here!" Long and short of it: It confuses guys who expect everything to be male-centric and wonder why you're pointing it out. Also, it makes girls not want to play it, since it's labeled for guys, after all. (I consider myself lucky that I saw your thread screenshot and realized that I was missing something special.)

Thought I'd call it male-centric for a number of reasons. Here are three of them:

1. I wanted to be honest about the content.

2. I didn't think women would be interested in playing from a man’s perspective, so I constructed a loaded phrase that operates like a warning sign saying Danger Ahead, Keep Out, or Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here. And you know, it just now came to me how silly that sounds, because the gaming industry claims men don’t want to play as women all the freakin’ time, and that’s a load of rubbish. Maybe the warning should be that you're forced to play a role, and probably not the one created for your character, so RPers beware?

3. While carrying negative connotations, it is also simultaneously an advertising slogan to make my quest stand out. ‘Male-Centric? Hmm, that sounds weird. *Click* Oh look, that man’s trying to lick some orbs, I think I’ll give this one a try.’

mirimero

Awww, now I'm sorry I missed the 300% level. My goodness, you should make a slider for it! Like the difficulty slider, but for spiciness.

I actually looked for a Foundry Terms and Conditions page, but I think my Google skills need a tune up because I couldn't find anything. All I got were the forum rules, and they're basically no "unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, hateful, racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable content". That word "vulgar" is interestingly vague.

How about you give me an example of what you had before and I'll let you know what I think?

Heh. Women are constantly playing games, reading books, and watching movies from men's perspectives. I don't know how many times I've been called "sir" in the foundry, and to be honest, I've stopped noticing. What I do notice is when gender is handled with a bit more sensitivity, and that's part of why I liked your quest so much.

Those are good arguments, though! By all means, carry on. I can't think of a better phrase than "male-centric" for that purpose.

drakesigar

mirimero wrote: »

Awww, now I'm sorry I missed the 300% level. My goodness, you should make a slider for it! Like the difficulty slider, but for spiciness.

That’s an interesting idea, though it does mean writing different bits of dialogue for three different versions of the quest – Normal, Extra Raunchy, and Full English Breakfast.

Don’t ask.

mirimero wrote: »

I actually looked for a Foundry Terms and Conditions page, but I think my Google skills need a tune up because I couldn't find anything. All I got were the forum rules, and they're basically no "unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, hateful, racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable content". That word "vulgar" is interestingly vague.

Think I spotted a message on the in-game foundry, maybe on the tab reserved for the full Beta reviewer, which said something along the lines of ‘by activating this you may be exposing yourself to offensive/harmful content, we at Crpytic do not condone these quests and urge you to report them immediately’. So yeah, no specifics about what actually constitutes harmful content.

mirimero wrote: »

How about you give me an example of what you had before and I'll let you know what I think?

No. It’s too embarrassing.

mirimero

drakesigar wrote: »

That’s an interesting idea, though it does mean writing different bits of dialogue for three different versions of the quest – Normal, Extra Raunchy, and Full English Breakfast.

Don’t ask.

I'm afraid to, but I'm rather intrigued. I've never thought of the English as being particularly spicy before.

So yeah, no specifics about what actually constitutes harmful content.

Now that I think of it, I suppose it's just a matter of finding the demographic's threshold of offensability (yes, that's not a proper word, sorry). I just came back from a quest yesterday called "Teen Witches From Hell" and it involved the player character riding a hot guy's "sloppy jalopy" and reading erotic HAMSTER fan fiction spawned by an insecure, stuttering halfling. I'm not making this up, I swear. Also, it actually made use of the phrase "bull cr*p" (without the asterisk), which amused me no end since the foundry let that through but always red flags "put a" or "*******". It was offensive in a bunch of ways, but also pretty intelligent and funny, which is, I think, the ideal balance you have to strike. Amuse the players enough so they feel it's worth it and they refrain from reporting you. Theoretically, that's how it might work anyway.

No. It’s too embarrassing.

Pfft. I've written so much embarrassing HAMSTER when I was in high school I should be immune to all of it now. You know I'm going to keep pestering you until you do it, don't you? Aw, just kidding. Just work on the second part, mmkay?

On another note, though, I see that your quest has been picked up by the Forge! Awesome!

runis12

How did I not see this before?! :mad: Lost my quest to-do list, so you're up Drakesigar! rofl~

heckle7

I'd be happy to trade reviews if you are interested. Mine is about 16 minutes long

I just completed my first quest too! And I'm the only person who has even played it

I could REALLY use some advice/feedback on what to improve.

Surviving the Survey
NW-DP7QLV4YN

I'll check yours out tonight after work!

ghanncallide

As soon as i can get back in game, i would be happy to run and review your quest a few times. I would also appreciate it if you could review mine -puppy eyes-.

Orcs are occupying the forests outside of Neverwinter. Every adventurer has different reasons for helping in the conflict. Protecting the weak, helping the wounded or the promise of great wealth, but no matter what, the Orcs must be stopped!

Meant to be soloed, responses change based on class. Playing in a group allows you to choose an otherwise closed path and allows for leeway in difficulty.

**This is my first Foundry quest, so let me know if it's overtuned or if something is broken. You may want to bring lots of potions or friends at higher levels just to be safe. I cannot control what loot drops or is in the end chest, so please do not leave loot based reviews. Thanks for playing.**

Short Code: NW-DH7USOU92

My other foundry quest is called "Do you have what it takes?" but I do not have a short code handy atm.

drakesigar

I’d like to make is clear this is not intended to be a review trading thread, and I don’t participate in those for various reasons. Though I kinda opened the floodgates when I reviewed Ortexplorer’s.

mirimero wrote: »

On another note, though, I see that your quest has been picked up by the Forge! Awesome!

So excited about that! The Dungeon Masters Stream is regarded as the centrepiece of the Foundry community. I’ll wait to hear their suggestions and then I’m going to take everything I’ve heard thus far and give Adventuring College a major overhaul and also play with the fixed foundry features. Was tempted to start tweaking now but there’s talk of major buggage so it might be more prudent to wait.

ghanncallide

Fair enough. I just have been having trouble getting my quests out of the "For Review" Section.

pavvo

Entertaining little romp and dialogue. But lots of long uneventful corridors.

Appreciate a walk through of my quests if you have the time. Cheers (Links in sig)

avatre21

An enjoyable quest with a creative maze structure (though I hate mazes ), I look forward to day two. Just a note, I think it was in Gwen's? Dialogue (I forgot to note down npc name, sorry!) It says suffice as to and I think it should be suffice it to say, not entirely sure though. Thanks.

drakesigar

I’m confident when the updated Adventuring College 1.1 is released in a few weeks, it will be virtually unrecognizable to the version that’s out now. Here’s a list of what I’m working on.

- Corridors are to be shortened and rooms moved closer together where appropriate
- Much more detail added everywhere after the Randy Kobold Bar
- More point & click adventure style observations
- The Gauntlet is going to be totally demolished and reworked
- Byebye spiders
- Many more changes added during the Dorms evening section to justify that part of the adventure, some of them dialogue, some purely visual
- Possibly a new NPC
- Romance subplot between the player and Stabby McStabbington

Just kidding about that last one. Unless you’re a sharp piece of metal, you’ve got no chance.

avatre21 wrote: »

An enjoyable quest with a creative maze structure (though I hate mazes )

You know what? Me too. Will keep an eye out for the line you mentioned.

drakesigar

Betcha never seen this before!



That's right, it's a refridgeration room, or freezer if you like. Cold air is pumped through that pipe up the top. I spent the whole week overhauling the dorms area. Now it looks like people actually live here.

mee2002

Good clean fun there. I liked the dialogue, disappointed I missed the raunchier stuff. Good for getting spider slayer achievs too :P Would like to see more flavor characters added to the bar. Not necessarily that you talk to, just some people having a conversation amongst themselves. New screenshot looks awesome by the way.

drakesigar

Thanks for taking the time to write your comments here. That goes for everyone else thus far too, tis much appreciated. The in-game character limit be a harsh mistress.

zovya

As you know, I already played it before. But tried it again. Loving the new additions, especially the new decorations and the spiked ceiling room.

drakesigar

I'm a bit late with the reply, but thanks! I'm quite happy with the spike room and projectors, though they were hell to put together.

docsc00ter

Played & reviewed. Sent you a PM with some notes I took while playing.