Review-for-Review - Running Foundries Non-Stop All Day!

rixenatorz

Note: Yes I am still doing reviews. Lately I've been busy IRL though and don't get to play quite as much. However I'm doing at least one review a day, often a couple more, so while the wait may be a bit longer the reviews are still coming.

Post any solo-able Foundry quest (level 50-ish Cleric) and I will run and review it.

I only ask that you take a look at my very first Foundry quest, which I have just freshly published, and review it in turn. It was my first attempt at making a quest and I feel I may have front-loaded the combat. I would love to hear your guys' thoughts and suggestions.

My Quest
Short Code: NW-DB8OXX3R5
Name: Damsel's Inn Distress
Moderate Combat/Moderate Story
Solo-able
Start Point: Protector's Enclave

NOTE: I strive to review every quest posted and, in time, I will get to all of them. However, priority goes to users who have played and reviewed my quest, as that's how review-for-review works. If you want to be sure I get to your quest quickly be sure to play and review mine above!

I'm going to make a list of all quests submitted so I can keep track of what I have and have not already reviewed. You can see when your quest is coming up, as well!

Already Reviewed
Thank you for your reviews and submissions!

1. havocl - NW-DJOQ5M8WI , NW-DCNI8I4G4
2. hercul33t - NWS-DHDPDVTMA
3. markyx16 - NWS-DACTUKWMX
4. wayolen - NW-DMR6AERHD - Please consider reviewing my quest in return!
5. howitzer29 - NW-DDTRJVWYB
6. hflord1 - NW-DMQRRFJYT
7. todocaldo - NW-DFGF2UXQH
8. neurojam - NW-DQ1PGH6HW
9. aristarchos01 - NW-DP3KMHTRP
10. rogueenterprise - NW-DFILSBT75
11. thesecondseven - NW-DDZ6NDJ9W - I will replay yours to give an in-game review, as the window closed on me.
12. voivodak - NW-DNUZSYEEY
13. gazza126 (Welsh4evr) - NW-DQ7P2NSND
14. franksers (SirFranks) - NW-DJMNAUD8H
15. dugada - NW-DDJJA7X98 - Please consider reviewing my quest in return!
16. chinspinner - NW-DMEWA2PW3 - Please consider reviewing my quest in return!
17. tarum89 - NW-DB5GERXA3
18. delthanin - NW-DTET2QLF4
19. keylord02 (Lya) - NW-DJGYNI7NH
20. slaidz - NW-DIYMYKKVY
21. ddsauter (DeeSauter) - NW-DC95ROS61
22. gilidus - NW-DAIIR7LMF
23. pavvo - NW-DFEKZANXF & NW-DU3HEVWJ7

To Review
Thank you for your reviews, you are at the top of my list and will receive a review soon!

1. lunchtimenow - NW-DSEGBOHCC

Non-Reviewers to Review
I will get to your quests when I can. Those who have reviewed my quest move to the shortlist above, so consider reviewing, please! If you submitted a review using a different @handle please let me know!


narathkor - NW-DRBWMCFL4
coanunn - NW-DQF4T7QYH
zelrant - NW-DFJR2DOH6
bmoseley83 - NW-DKKJKFAA8
direblaze1 - NW-DSFMZOODA
xhrit - NW-DADOERMFX
haloferth - NW-DTJWJHWXK
fugln - NW-DC42XFJ5B & NWS-DA213JHNY & NW-DE6UU7ZQA
schidoosh - NW-DTO5VB9AS
luther8 - NW-DGTN72HYL
vold316 - NW-DHD2OVVYC
c0mixfan - NWS-DCO7OKB6F & NW-DT5EIZKZZ

havocl

Then review my quests, they're in my signature. I'll be playing your quest in a moment.

hercul33t

I'll give it a go.

Edit:
The first Hulk encounter, he was stuck in the wall. Give him a bit of a nudge.

You should add details. There's little cues here and there I would add myself; like when the book slammed shut I would have had something BANG.

I liked the light combat, I just wished it was ghosts I was fighting.

Your writing was excellent. Please rewrite everything in my map for me :P

The story just got real interesting and it seemed to close without possibility of continuing.

Overall, I liked it and think it has promise.

markyx16

I have a solo hack-n-slash campaign in the works. Currently working on the third, but I would like feedback on the first two so I know what to avoid.

The Thamus Blade

The Thamus Blade: NWS-DACTUKWMX
Chapter 1 - Rescuing Answers: NW-DC64NKE5B
Chapter 2 - Following the Horde: NW-DHVMWBW9D

One of your contacts told you about a dwarf sage named Altair. He has a knack of historical items and owns a book store called the Introvert.

He is looking for a mercenary, although the details around his intentions aren't clear. Time to pay him a visit.

havocl

My problems:
- Go to Next Map - You change it in the story board. For example: Enter the Tavern
- Items - Don't use them, unless they're going to be used in the next map. Use other ways. For example, they give you a key? Dialog Prompt Reached.

Overall good story, even if little short. Good start as a first quest in the Foundry.

wayolen

I'll give yours a go this evening - Mine is in my sig. Feel fre to be direct. Its a conbat quest that will be part of a larger capaign - I haven't worked out the plot points yet or the other maps so there isn't much story in it yet. I would like to have the general enounter tested by someone else . Its meant to be doable solo - but a challenge. Please let me know if you think it acomplishes that goal or if its too easy/hard. Also I put an easter egg in it - see if you can find it. I more thing, the bosses fight is alittle tough so bring some pots. Enjoy

dugada

Hey, here si my:
NW-DDJJA7X98 (The camp and bandits)

Thanks

chinspinner

I'll try it.

My quest is in my sig.

coanunn

Any cave can lead to Adventure: NW-DQF4T7QYH It's published and no longer locked, feel free to test the first 2 wings of the first in my Dungeon Delve campaign. Hoping to have the full dungeon finished by Friday. There is no "over arching" story but rather a dungeon you stumble upon that has it's own narrative. Again it is only about half done, with the major boss encounter, and at least 1 full wing of the dungeon still closed off to players.

It's only at a test stage, so expect it to be a bit short. Also please be brutally honest with any holes or issues.

I'll head in to play yours right after maintenance.

rixenatorz

havocl wrote: »

My problems:
- Go to Next Map - You change it in the story board. For example: Enter the Tavern
- Items - Don't use them, unless they're going to be used in the next map. Use other ways. For example, they give you a key? Dialog Prompt Reached.

Overall good story, even if little short. Good start as a first quest in the Foundry.

Thank you for your feedback. I'll definitely revisit how I deal with items. I did a few renamings of Go to Next Map, but I probably did miss some. I'll take a look!

In regards to yours, first off, sorry it took so long. I had some tech problems on my end and had to play through your first quest twice to be able to review it in game. But it was fun so it wasn't a problem.

The general storyline is very fun and I look forward to the next installment to see what's going on with everything. I loved the twist at the ending of the second quest in particular.

My only major problem with your quests is the writing .The story is good, but the actual technicalities of the writing need work. For example, at one point in your second quest Lisandra says "the excavation site is a too hot place to come near" which has several errors and would make more sense written as "The excavation site's too dangerous, we can't go there" or something of the sort.

As another example, here's some dialogue from the DM character in the second quest, introducing the Last Coin Inn:

You enter the inn. Last Coin isn't the most respectable place in Neverwinter, but you can a good, warm room here and that's important. You came here because you got a note from a "friend", that wanted to meet you. Work as an adventurer is dry at the moment, so every job counts. This friend asked you to talk to the innkeeper, before looking for him or her. You still don't know, whom it might be that left you this note.

Some errors are technical, others can be chalked up to a difference in personal voice. However, this passage is filled with unnecessary commas and other grammar errors.

I like the DM character but remember, as we're playing a video game and not sitting around a table explaining everything to our friends, we don't need to explain things that are clearly expressed in the game, such as "You enter the inn." I'm standing in the inn, you dont need to tell me I've entered it. At one point you say I've descended stairs and I see "rooms and lamps." Without further description of the room or lamps that's a statement that didn't need to be made; I can see the rooms and lamps, you don't need to tell me I can see them.

And so your above passage may read better like this:

Last Coin isn't the most respectable place in Neverwinter but you can find a good, warm room and that's what's important. You came here because you received a note from a "friend" who wanted to meet you. You're not sure who this friend is but work as an adventurer is dry at the moment so every job counts. In their note your "friend" instructed you to speak to the innkeeper as soon as you arrived.

The sentences flow more nicely; there aren't awkward pauses from short, superfluous sentences like "You enter the inn." Basically your writing doesn't flow or sound natural, it sounds like the characters are just giving you random facts.

Other than that I loved your quests. The story is interesting, the combat wasn't so hard I became frustrated but was difficult enough to keep my interest, and I loved the DM character helping me along the way. I also really loved leaving the second quest on the wagon, that was a nice touch instead of just leaving through a doorway.

Thanks for your time reviewing my quest, I enjoyed reviewing yours.

PS: The first time I played through each of your quests I was not given the chance to review them in-game. I'm sure htis is a problem with me, not with your quests. Anyone know what could be happening there? Later today I'll replay your second quest to be sure I can give an in-game review of it too.

rixenatorz

Shard is going down for maintenance so I am going down for nap. Sorry I haven't gotten to many yet but I'm not quitting, just being forced to take a break. :P When I wake up I'm getting right back into reviewing, so keep posting your quests and check back later today! Thanks everyone!

havocl

Thank you for spotting the errors. I'll fix them right after the shard will be back online.

narathkor

Try quest 2 of mine, 1 is bugged, its easier at lower levels due to guard scaling (A name for yourself)

howitzer29

I've got one for you as well.

"Rezade and the Ruins" - NW-DDTRJVWYB

A cleric of a distant religion hires you to escort her to ruins in a forest she's keen to study, but naturally, you wind up embroiled in something much larger than you bargained for.

It's story-driven, featuring moderate combat and a few puzzles, too.

I'll check out yours once the shard comes back online.

rixenatorz

havocl wrote: »

Thank you for spotting the errors. I'll fix them right after the shard will be back online.

No prob. If you ever want to you can feel free to send me some copy and I can look it over. I'm no expert on the subject but I imagine I can help clean stuff up.

havocl

rixenatorz wrote: »

No prob. If you ever want to you can feel free to send me some copy and I can look it over. I'm no expert on the subject but I imagine I can help clean stuff up.

I would gladly use somebody who can proofread my dialogues. I'm making the third part of my campaign, which will have more text. When I'll be on the dialogue/description stage of my quest, I'll contact you, okay? Right now, I'm on the set everything up stage (place npcs, objects and the like), then scripting stage (making that everything works like intended) and lastly the text.

voivodak

My quest is in signature. You can search also the name: The Fear That Freeze, in "best" or "new"

rixenatorz

hercul33t wrote: »

I'll give it a go.

Edit:
The first Hulk encounter, he was stuck in the wall. Give him a bit of a nudge.

You should add details. There's little cues here and there I would add myself; like when the book slammed shut I would have had something BANG.

I liked the light combat, I just wished it was ghosts I was fighting.

Your writing was excellent. Please rewrite everything in my map for me :P

The story just got real interesting and it seemed to close without possibility of continuing.

Overall, I liked it and think it has promise.

Woo, passed otu when servers went down, back in the land of the living now. Sorry for the big pause, but I haven't abandoned running and reviewing all these quests! Yay more quests!

hercul33t, thank you for the feedback. I'll definitely check out why that Hulk's stuck in the wall. Oddly I did have special sound effects for the book and a few other things but after playing through when it was published I also noticed the sounds aren't there; I'm going to figure out what happened, because yes, the book really needs a sound effect, I agree.

I looked for a wya to make ghost mobs but couldn't find one early on. However, I know a bit more about the Foundry now (custom skins and whatnot) and intend to change the basement mobs to ghosts in my next big revision, thanks for the suggestion.

My quest will be multiple parts, I'll try to make it more clear there will be a continuation.

As for your quest . . . wow, that was one of the most fun I've played so far. When I saw the whole grindy xp farm description I was wary. "Why would someone want me to review an exploity xp farm quest?" But I said I would so I went in. Your deception was clever and I really enjoyed it. Playing your quest showed me what the Foundry tool can do, with all the different effects adding to the ambience and feel of the dungeon. In some areas it was a bit too dark for my liking, I had to turn up the brightness on my monitor, but I found my way through nonetheless. The orc party actually had me laughing out loud.

I wish I could give you feedback on improving or something, but I just enjoyed it all around and have already recommended it to friends. I'm only sad your deceptive summary may turn people away from a very good quest!

hflord1

I'll run yours now.

Run mine when you can - Goblin Uprising NW-DMQRRFJYT

rixenatorz

markyx16 wrote: »

I have a solo hack-n-slash campaign in the works. Currently working on the third, but I would like feedback on the first two so I know what to avoid.

The Thamus Blade

The Thamus Blade: NWS-DACTUKWMX
Chapter 1 - Rescuing Answers: NW-DC64NKE5B
Chapter 2 - Following the Horde: NW-DHVMWBW9D

I can't wait for the third. Is it weird that I want to help her instead of Altair? <_< Anywayssss I enjoyed it very much. In one of the last dialogues of the third quest Alundra calls the knife the Belenus Blade. Unless this is another term for the same blade it looks like that might need to be changed to Thamus?

Very much enjoyed it, subscribed so I can see the next story when it comes out. Thank you.

zelrant

Gonna play and review yours now, please review mine too It's also my first foundry quest. Thanks!

NW-DFJR2DOH6 - The Epic: Secrets of Shiganshina

Edit: btw, how do you get to the Job board? Quest trail is showing nothing

rixenatorz

howitzer29 wrote: »

I've got one for you as well.

"Rezade and the Ruins" - NW-DDTRJVWYB

A cleric of a distant religion hires you to escort her to ruins in a forest she's keen to study, but naturally, you wind up embroiled in something much larger than you bargained for.

It's story-driven, featuring moderate combat and a few puzzles, too.

I'll check out yours once the shard comes back online.

Just finished and enjoyed it very much. I got a little stuck when attempting to find the altars since the dust trail lead to the doors and not the objectives, but that'll teach me to let the game do my thinking for me! xD

I really enjoyed the quest and I particularly loved Basilisk. Maybe I'm just too in love with halflings but she was the highlight of the mission for me. I hope if you make more quests you feature her as a recurring character. Thank you for your review of my quest as well!

thesecondseven

I checked yours out. It was quick but fun, and I enjoyed the design of the 2nd map.

Here is mine: NW-DDZ6NDJ9W
The Legend of Adlez

rixenatorz

hflord1 wrote: »

I'll run yours now.

Run mine when you can - Goblin Uprising NW-DMQRRFJYT

HP Lovecraft will always earn a great rating from me. I enjoyed the quest very much. I did miss getting the Hat of Disguise at some point yet was still able to just walk past all the guards; unsure if that was intentional.

I found the quest enjoyable and the end boss fight tough but fun. Thanks very much!

rixenatorz

Thank you to those who have participated so far; I spent my time today going over your suggestions and revising my quest from the original post so that any future reviews will be for the revised version. When I wake up tomorrow I will begin reviewing more quests posted here (priority to those who have reviewed mine) so feel free to keep em coming! Thanks again.

neurojam

Hey I checked out your quest. I Thought that the library was a good environment and "Dammit I'm not an evil librarian!" was pretty funny.
Just a few too many ghosts in the basement, but overall it was a good quest with a good story.

If you could check out my quest- Ye Old Chuckle Hut Code:NW-DQ1PGH6HW
Thanx

slaidz

My quest is in my sig if you're feeling up for a 15 minute jaunt.

bmoseley83

Hi! I'll add as many of yours to my list as I can!

Feel free to take a look at my first attempt too!

"Phantoms"
SC: nw-dkkjkfaa8
Starting point: Protector's Enclave
Difficult with one person, better with 2 or more (for final battle). Bring potions!
@voyager4383

Enjoy everyone! ^_^

direblaze1

Just reposted my level, no clue why the last did not appear.

NW-DSFMZOODA

this was my first attempt, i didnt know how to do most the stuff i wanted to add.

xhrit

Feast of the Moon
NW-DADOERMFX

todocaldo

I'll check yours out when the shard is back up. I'll edit this post with my review. Looking forward to yours from the reviews so far.

Please help me get my quest out of Review Hell - NW-DFGF2UXQH

Thanks!

Back with my review as promised: 4/5 stars

Good: Dialogue (very good writing), Settings (the interiors were very good, especially the library)

Bad: Combat (too many stacked encounters, and too easy to pull multiple encounters)

Needs Work: Flesh it out a bit to make it seem more "real". Lower caverns are awfully empty, everything in the inn is just a bit too "perfect" go into 3D edit mode and slightly turn most things no one perfectly places things at 90 degree angles . NPC chat blurbs in library are referencing questions the player hasn't asked and the player can see names of NPCs the player hasn't learned yet (picky I know).

Overall well done and I'm looking forward to updates and the next installment of the story.