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A typical first day in Protector's Enclave
lughlavada
Member Posts: 0 Arc User
Thanks PE zone chat. This is dedicated to all of you because all of you literally wrote the dialogue for me.
> be playing neverwinter
> want to roll halfling so decide to pick rogue
> tutorial seems cool
> get to first town
> fat american dwarf with a neckbeard is noticing I picked rogue
> "LOL LOOK AT THIS P2W CHOOB BET YOU MADE A ROGUE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO SKILL"
> think to myself he must just be trying to pick a fight
> ignore it and move on to the marketplace
> hear him shout as i leave "ROGUES SUCK LEARN TO PLAY YOU FLUCKIN HAMSTER"
> start looking for some gear
> suddenly i see thousands of faces staring at me
> every time I look more faces
> crowd all begins shouting at me loudly
> manage to pick out snippets from the crowd's jeers
> "NERF ROGUE PVP SUCKS"
> "IS THIS GAME P2W? I THINK IT IS"
> "HOW TO GET TO BANK???????"
> "WHERE IS VENDOR FOR BAG????"
> notice the dwarf with the neckbeard is headed my way
> start to fear for my safety, back away slowly
> more and more faces
> "fluck this"
> the shouts continue to come at an unbelievable pace now
> i see one guy ask "WHERE CAN I GET A COMPANION" 4-5 times rapidly
> guy is literally standing next to companion vendor, but i don't have time to stop and anwer him
> "STOP RIGHT THERE YOU P2W"
> wtf does this guy want why won't he leave me alone
> dwarf looks at me and starts laughing
> "WOW was the first mmorpg"
> shake my head and start to argue
> the dwarf cuts me off "LOL YOU ARE THE BIGGEST HOMOSEXUAL IN THIS GAME, CAN YOU BUY ME A NIGHTMARE KEY"
> at this point my mind is fragmented, i can't think straight
> start running as hard as i can, running to get away, running for my life
> panting heavily, know they're chasing me, I can hear their voices
> "WHERE I CAN A SCROLL OF IDENTIFY???"
> see an opening leading down to sewers, tuck and roll
> phew, i'm safe..
> start to look around, notice that there are dismembered bodies everywhere, the smell of death in the air almost makes me gag
> look back to see american neckbeard dwarf being ripped limb from limb by the others, the dwarf is laughing maniacally the whole time
> i hear his the last croak of his voice as he dies, "WOW CAME OUT BEFORE UO"
> these people are crazy, i'm going to die here, oh god, im really gonna die here!!
> panicking heavily
> look up, see lord neverember himself hold extend his hand out to help me up
> he looks at my warmly and my fears are instantly dispelled
> he gives me a smirk and a chuckle before speaking
> "WHERE TO GO TO PVP??"
> imnotgonnatakethisanymore, pull out knives and stab him repeatedly in the gut
> the townspeople have finally broken through, im surrounded, i take a few but ultimately succumb
> feel the life seep from me as they tear me apart
> just before i die, their last taunts echo in my ears
> "THERES NO WAY YOU COULD BEAT A CW IN PVP LOL P2W CHOOB"
> sight fades to black, blood-filled tears streaming down my face as i die
> all in all, still a better game than WoW
> be playing neverwinter
> want to roll halfling so decide to pick rogue
> tutorial seems cool
> get to first town
> fat american dwarf with a neckbeard is noticing I picked rogue
> "LOL LOOK AT THIS P2W CHOOB BET YOU MADE A ROGUE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO SKILL"
> think to myself he must just be trying to pick a fight
> ignore it and move on to the marketplace
> hear him shout as i leave "ROGUES SUCK LEARN TO PLAY YOU FLUCKIN HAMSTER"
> start looking for some gear
> suddenly i see thousands of faces staring at me
> every time I look more faces
> crowd all begins shouting at me loudly
> manage to pick out snippets from the crowd's jeers
> "NERF ROGUE PVP SUCKS"
> "IS THIS GAME P2W? I THINK IT IS"
> "HOW TO GET TO BANK???????"
> "WHERE IS VENDOR FOR BAG????"
> notice the dwarf with the neckbeard is headed my way
> start to fear for my safety, back away slowly
> more and more faces
> "fluck this"
> the shouts continue to come at an unbelievable pace now
> i see one guy ask "WHERE CAN I GET A COMPANION" 4-5 times rapidly
> guy is literally standing next to companion vendor, but i don't have time to stop and anwer him
> "STOP RIGHT THERE YOU P2W"
> wtf does this guy want why won't he leave me alone
> dwarf looks at me and starts laughing
> "WOW was the first mmorpg"
> shake my head and start to argue
> the dwarf cuts me off "LOL YOU ARE THE BIGGEST HOMOSEXUAL IN THIS GAME, CAN YOU BUY ME A NIGHTMARE KEY"
> at this point my mind is fragmented, i can't think straight
> start running as hard as i can, running to get away, running for my life
> panting heavily, know they're chasing me, I can hear their voices
> "WHERE I CAN A SCROLL OF IDENTIFY???"
> see an opening leading down to sewers, tuck and roll
> phew, i'm safe..
> start to look around, notice that there are dismembered bodies everywhere, the smell of death in the air almost makes me gag
> look back to see american neckbeard dwarf being ripped limb from limb by the others, the dwarf is laughing maniacally the whole time
> i hear his the last croak of his voice as he dies, "WOW CAME OUT BEFORE UO"
> these people are crazy, i'm going to die here, oh god, im really gonna die here!!
> panicking heavily
> look up, see lord neverember himself hold extend his hand out to help me up
> he looks at my warmly and my fears are instantly dispelled
> he gives me a smirk and a chuckle before speaking
> "WHERE TO GO TO PVP??"
> imnotgonnatakethisanymore, pull out knives and stab him repeatedly in the gut
> the townspeople have finally broken through, im surrounded, i take a few but ultimately succumb
> feel the life seep from me as they tear me apart
> just before i die, their last taunts echo in my ears
> "THERES NO WAY YOU COULD BEAT A CW IN PVP LOL P2W CHOOB"
> sight fades to black, blood-filled tears streaming down my face as i die
> all in all, still a better game than WoW
Post edited by lughlavada on
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Comments
[Zone] Kami@g00g0lplex: what to do with[Worn Needle]?
[Zone] Emily@saxonyy: LF1M > AFK PVP PARTY ( EXP & GLORY )
[Zone] Kami@g00g0lplex: how to use it?
[Zone] Scheev@mrscheev: Where do you get a companion?
It's pretty funny if you ask me. I have a certain morbid fascination about watching the zone chat in PE, it's like when you see a dead body and you want to look away but for some reason you just can't.
One of the first settings I change when I create a new character in any MMO. But this thread makes me realize what I'm missing.
Which isn't much.
Sadly the PvP chat is as bad or worse than WoW chat from what i've seen. Full of homophobic, racist and sexist comments, stupid 'umad' or 'ubad' trash talk, etc. I've never expected much from people who focus on pvp, as every time i do, i get shown how they really are.
As bad as the "WoW was the first MMO" people are, the people who fall for it are worse, as it gets repeated more than "Where is the bank??", and people should know by now it's a troll comment.
I liked your post though, if this makes it sound like i didn't.
Haha thanks!