First couple efforts, 'Bear with Me' and 'Retirement Plans'

dzaims

Ladies and germs of the Too-Creative-To-Just-Play-The-Game ilk,

After playing the game for a couple years, I've decided to dabble in the Foundry. I used to DM pen-n-paper D&D games decades ago, and thought I'd experiment creating content in the Foundry.

Foundry UI/shell shortfalls aside, I've crafted a couple adventures while exploring the system. 'Bear with Me' is less a story than an exercise in Foundry basics that depends/focuses on the player's ability to navigate the map without drawing aggro of the mobs on the map. Some encounters are stationary, some patrolling, and some, if you try to hack-n-slash your way through it all, spawn deadly numbers of mobs. Shortcut code NW-DM9Pj62ZK

The second, 'Retirement Plans' is more story-driven sequel to the tale of 'Bear with Me'. Dialog choices impact the combat situations, and there are a couple non-quest spots along the way for more combat and/or humor, if one wants it. Short code: NW-DOPPZAYKQ

Constructive critique from other foundry authors would be appreciated. I know there will be more polishing needed on these, so let me know what you expect to see from dialogs, mob behaviors, detail saturation, etc..

Thanks,

Dzaims [aka Legless Lego Legolas, of Tyrs Paladium]

valcontar73

Bear with me:

First of all, in the description of the quest say that you must go / travel using the world map to Pequod Valley.

Good use of the patrols and spawns, I only drop once unto some angry wolfs XD.

Retirement Plans:

Again, you need to say in the description of the quest that you need to use the world map or travel to the zone quest. (Yes, there are some players that need to know where to go or you risk 1 star.)

Pirate english is not for everyone, but I would not change that.

I think you need to play more with the 3d mode in the foundry to adjust objects to the ground or where is needed, don't be afraid of it, just make an empty map and begin to play with different objecs in edit mode, use q and e keys to move and rotate them.

waryur

Really, really enjoying seeing your exponential growth from one quest to the next. Overall it was enjoyable,fun, amusing, and balanced. Clean, glitch free.

For Retirement Plans -

-Great job with the dialogue, the use of pirate english. Excellent characterizations. The OOC references were humourous and spot on for those that would know about those references. Bear in mind, some people may not like the OOC, fourth wall breaking, references, but I think you did them in a way that wasn't too intrusive to the plot.
-Combat was challenging. But everything was placed in a way that if you didn't zerg and were careful, as suggested, you could handle it. Nicely done.
-Plot choices were nicely done.

Some aesthetic suggestions
-Place some creatures in the water. Since quest paths lead through it, and people will follow it, would've been neat to encounter danger in the water too. Create costume of a snarling beast and shrink all the dimensions to make it small. Name them crabs or mini sharks, etc.
-Each objective NPC, once you kill enemies, suggest they also attack you, or cower in fear. To do this, create duplicate to appear when dialogue complete so they can attack you (an enemy asset wearing costume of the NPC), or appear when enemies are slain and set their emote to something cowering. Having them standing there mute during and after doesn't make sense.
-There's a certain open chest. Place crates of apples in it. Or a barrel of apples instead. To match the plot of the nearby NPC.
-Since the map is clean, maybe add more details. Big area to run around in. Suggest adding invisible walls around the "active" area to keep people from exploring too far looking for stuff that's not there.

Looking forward to the next quest! Will be running this again once review system back up.

dzaims

Excellent feedback, thanks! I'll amend my quest info to include overworld map references, and work w/ the 3d editing more.

My latest, 'Sleepy in Cea Tull' is still up for review. and I'll make more tweaks on the older ones as well.