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The WildCards! You've messed with the best - now play with the rest!

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  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Orbital Cannons are soo last century anyways. Id rather have something like an orbital pie cannon. Imagine getting splutted by a giant pie from the sky.

    Also, I was wondering, since the sexy filter refuses to let me pass ( >.> ), who could we contact in game for possible recuirtment and pie?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Dasterdly wrote:
    See now I have had Awesome Sauce. All it really is is Thousand Island dressing and extra Cayenne Pepper. Sure, its good for a twang, but nothing special.

    Now if you want some truly awesome sauce, there is this BBQ joint down off of Rengstorf called Uncle Franks. That there is some awesome sauce! I went with a couple of work buddies one time. I gotta tell you - I've never seen a bald man sweat so quickly nor profusely when he started eating.

    Lol that was pure win. You guys have a pretty good attitude and sense of humor.

    Wild Cards gets the Awesome Sauce be way2 awesome 2 thumbs up approval.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Dasterdly wrote:
    Frankly, I was beginning to think she was referring to "Orbital Cannon" as some sort of euphemism for a toy of dubious nature and that Anvil of Dawn was code for "Oooooh yesssssssss!"

    Same basic effect whenever she uses it, from what I understand.

    And Gods above and below, I wish I didn't understand.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Same basic effect whenever she uses it, from what I understand.

    And Gods above and below, I wish I didn't understand.

    My orbital cannon strikes hard and fast, repeatedly until the baddies cant take any more!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Tanuki wrote:
    My orbital cannon strikes hard and fast, repeatedly until the baddies cant take any more!

    Whipped into a quivering mass of submission?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Omaani wrote:
    Orbital Cannons are soo last century anyways. Id rather have something like an orbital pie cannon. Imagine getting splutted by a giant pie from the sky.

    Also, I was wondering, since the sexy filter refuses to let me pass ( >.> ), who could we contact in game for possible recuirtment and pie?


    Click into the Social Menu and search for WildCards. Whisper anyone online and they should be able to hook you up with the right 'Card for the job.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Was interested in speaking to you guys
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    This is fantastic. I'll be looking you guys up tonight.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    website curently down, this is phase one of the our equipment upgrades since a combination of beer and wildcardds seems to be too much for our old boards. It should be up in the morning
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    NOOOOO! The boards! The lovely boards!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Now where am I going to spam in the server downtime? :(
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Tanuki wrote:
    Now where am I going to spam in the server downtime? :(

    Run around making orbital cannon noises?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Tanuki wrote:
    Now where am I going to spam in the server downtime? :(

    Damn straight, what ever shall i do in work now >.<

    And WHERE WILL THE CARP GO?!?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Damn straight, what ever shall i do in work now >.<

    And WHERE WILL THE CARP GO?!?

    we will have to spam here
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Tanuki wrote:
    Now where am I going to spam in the server downtime? :(

    *sings*
    Spam in the place where I live (ham and pork)
    Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy)
    Spam in my luchbox at work (it's the best)
    Really makes a darn good sandwhich any way you slice it at all
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    *sings*
    Spam in the place where I live (ham and pork)
    Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy)
    Spam in my luchbox at work (it's the best)
    Really makes a darn good sandwhich any way you slice it at all

    :D

    I think this thread lacks limericks.

    There once was a girl named Tanuki
    Who was most decidedly kooky
    But one misplaced beer left her stuck posting here
    Now the whiners have stolen her Q key

    Kinda doggerel, but I'm barely halfway into my first coffee. Lemme try again:

    If you come give the Wildcards a chance
    Drop an app and you'll see at a glance
    That our standards are low and our gaming skills blow
    But we usually play without pants!

    Probably time to get started on my second cup.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    A Man, Dao, ran a guild
    There was a member, Tanuki
    Who did not like bugs.

    My awesome Haiku effort!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Come join our Super Group
    The rest are just plain poop
    We have fun in the sun
    With bottles and guns
    Sign up to be one of the troops!


    Hurrah!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Dao_Jones wrote:
    If you come give the Wildcards a chance
    Drop an app and you'll see at a glance
    That our standards are low and our gaming skills blow
    But we usually play without pants!

    I lol'd and QFT.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    There are those who think Dao is pedantic,
    but some find his disdain tres romantique.
    Just don't get him plastered,
    Or you'll find he's a bast'rd
    And bury your soul in the Atlantic.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Back to the top with ya.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    There was a group leader named Dao
    Who liked making moonshine and ale
    He first filled a mug
    But drank the whole jug
    Then passed out and drowned due to fail :P
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Dao_Jones wrote:

    If you come give the Wildcards a chance
    Drop an app and you'll see at a glance
    That our standards are low and our gaming skills blow
    But we usually play without pants!

    QFT :)

    (with added text because a QFT is too short)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    I think Dao has an unhealthy amount of male fan-bois. I haven't seen this much man love since the Pride parade in San Fran.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    heh, or it could be that dao is just too easy to limmerick :P

    *retreats back to underground base to avoid wrath*
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Our forums seem to be back up. That, or my hallucinations are starting earlier than usual today.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    I think Dao has an unhealthy amount of male fan-bois. I haven't seen this much man love since the Pride parade in San Fran.

    You do know Dao lives in San Fransisco right?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    a limerick about patience:

    I PM'd the Wildcards in-game
    for an invite, to try on their name
    they must be hardhearted
    to ignore my retarded
    and ignorant efforts at fame

    i suppose they were busy doing something else like paying the game, so... tonight...

    i think this time i'll just camp out
    till dao_jones is running about
    then i'll put down my scotch
    stop checking my watch
    and give the poor ******* a shout
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Steamforge wrote:
    You do know Dao lives in San Fransisco right?

    No Dao lives near San Francisco and he I and work close enough that we might be able to wave to each other from our offices across the bay.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Or make that shot that would advance this Coup D'etat alot easier... xD
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    indeed but the rhyming thing was hard enough today.

    time for a drink.
    a small one to start.
    and yes its a lite beer, cause at my age ya gotta think about that.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    With 530 replies, I hope you'll understand my complete can't-be-bothered-dom at reading through them all. So here is my question!

    What time zones are you cards situated in mainly?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    LuckyDevil wrote:
    i suppose they were busy doing something else like paying the game, so... tonight...

    i think this time i'll just camp out
    till dao_jones is running about
    then i'll put down my scotch
    stop checking my watch
    and give the poor ******* a shout
    Actually my friend, if you check the first post in this thread it tells you how to get in touch with us. Click the link I provided, and follow the steps, and nirvana-like bliss is yours to be had. I'm pretty sure you'll do well by us, and us by you, so please do click away.

    Just don't mind the references to candy, white vans, strip shows, and webcams on "gamer-shame.com". That's just boilerplate our lawyers like to toss in. :D
    Rhaza wrote:
    With 530 replies, I hope you'll understand my complete can't-be-bothered-dom at reading through them all. So here is my question!

    What time zones are you cards situated in mainly?
    With ~150+ members, we're everywhere. We have people spread out across the states, and a surprisingly not small group of folks playing overseas. (Llike ~6 in the UK, 2-3 Swedes and 3 Belgians at last count). Honestly, there hasn't been a time yet when I've seen less than a dozen people on. I'm west coast, however.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    58Warrior wrote:
    Great Job Fritz... Now all we're going to recruit is a bunch of drunks! Way to get the thread started off right... I can see it now.
    A hand of WildCards drops in on the scene just as evil-doers are about to blow a hole in the prison wall and release hundreds of hardened criminals onto the streets! Except only one makes it to the right location and he's got bloodshot eyes, is still speaking with a slur and has a couple beer nuts in his beard. The four others never left the HQ because two were arguing over which beer is better, one was AFK getting more beer and the last had been AFK passed out on the floor for 2 hours but no one noticed.

    We need to recruit at least one or two sober individuals. I'm trying to remember why though... Years of hard drinking will do that to you.

    Remember the plan:

    1. Post Funny Recruitment Thread.
    2. Bump thread with continuing witty banter
    3. Sucker Recruits with visions of fun loving gaming community
    4. Start Imposing mild entry requirements (beer, petty cash, "favors")
    5. Pass out Pie/Cake
    6. Start imposing bizarre entry requirements (must submit application in Thai or Bulgarian, bleed a chicken,"favors")
    7. Reveal true purpose of the Cult
    8. Pass out Kool-Aid

    Only one recruit and already wanting beer... Seems to early.
    If the pie/cake is not a lie I'd like in! Do we get pie AND cake? If I don't get pie/cake can I ragequit?
    You guys are a cult?
    Oh this is for a video-game? Yeah sure I'll totally play...ummm WTF game is it?
    Tapper?
    Yeah I'll join your Tapper cult for pie/cake.
    *leaves and checks Craigslist for an arcade version of Tapper*

    Oh wait there's Kool-aid too? Is it pie/cake flavored? Do any of you remember an off brand of Kool-aid that was root beer flavored? It was awesome! Last time I had it was probably 20 years ago. I still check for it from time to time when I go to the grocery store.

    Mmmmm root beer.

    Hey you guys ever play that game Tapper? It had root beer in it. Root Beer Tapper...damn dancing girls in it distracted my customer and made them ignore the drinks I was trying to slide to them.
    Wait those women hated root beer and so does my girlfriend...is there a conspiracy faction in your cult? I'd like to get to the bottom of this root beer conspiracy that I just stumbled onto.

    So how much did you want for the Tapper arcade cabinet you're selling?
    Oh wait that's the other thread, this thread is a recruitment thread for a conspiracy book club right?

    Wait I need to go to a different website than this to apply? Wait I have to fill out an application? To play Tapper? Can't I just put my quarter on the cabinet to signify I got next game? No? Damn video-games have gotten way too complicated. I didn't need to pass a credit check to play Tapper back in the day.

    I'm guessing the application needs to be notarized right? I'll apply tomorrow (well later today when I wake up) since all the notaries are probably still sleeping.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    You guys are a cult?

    I try to get the rest of them to worship the ground I walk on but unfortunately they just point and laugh mostly, does that count as a cult?


    The kool-aid is mystery flavoured, the rest of us tend to ignore Daos attempts to force it upon us, but feel free to try it, you never know, it *might* be root beer flavour... or rat urine flavoured... or Dao flavoured..

    I don't remember tapper, but we have lots of old farts in the guild and most of them spend life intoxicated so theres a good chance if theres ever been a tapper arcade machine in a pub that they've seen one

    Feel free to put an app in any time, I'm notable (they were obviously desperate) and I'm awake now! Throw in a nice hefty bribe and I might even accept you! (note Dao takes a 15% cut for bribes so please increase bribe accordingly)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Space Pope approves of this thread.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Just thought I'd pop in a quick "well done grond-hunters" to all those who took part in the hunt. Let's hope we have better luck with Kigatilik next time.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Normally I'd insert some witty insight into the meaning of life here, but its early moring and I didnt get enough sleep. So you'll have to make do with me playing with formatting instead.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Wooo formatting!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    To the top with ye!

    And no, as much as 'Nuki thinks we worship her, it's really more of collective point n' laugh.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Chaplain wrote:
    I just finished watching some documentary on a dude doing Nerdcore at PAX.....now I need to punch somebody wearing ridiculously thick glasses......

    I saw MC Frontalot live last year, and am a huge fan. I listen to him daily on my usual gaming music rotation.
    Wouldn't suggest doing that with, say, Henry Rollins.

    Nice one! Bonus points for a reference the kids won't get.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Rune wrote:
    Nice one! Bonus points for a reference the kids won't get.

    Heh. Henry Rollins isn't that old, ya know.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Tanuki wrote:
    I try to get the rest of them to worship the ground I walk on but unfortunately they just point and laugh mostly, does that count as a cult?

    We can only worship one member at a time, sorry.


    All hail dao
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    duckywucky wrote:
    We can only worship one member at a time, sorry.


    All hail dao
    This man is officer material, imo.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Dao_Jones wrote:
    This man is officer material, imo.

    Catch 22..... Ducky is Canadian.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    duckywucky wrote:
    We can only worship one member at a time, sorry.


    All hail dao
    Dao_Jones wrote:
    This man is officer material, imo.

    Dao, you're far too easy to please. If I was in charge, I would require ritual sacrifices on the hour, every hour, as proof of the members undying loyalty & worship. Mere hailing is seen for what it is… sucking up. And I despise suck-ups and require that they be the first to be sacrficed. Plus I happen to like roasted duck.

    Also, how dare the regular posters to this thread let it drop to page 2 ?!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Dasterdly wrote:
    Catch 22..... Ducky is Canadian.
    He's dead to me.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Dao, you're far too easy to please. If I was in charge, I would require ritual sacrifices on the hour, every hour, as proof of the members undying loyalty & worship. Mere hailing is seen for what it is… sucking up. And I despise suck-ups and require that they be the first to be sacrficed. Plus I happen to like roasted duck.

    Also, how dare the regular posters to this thread let it drop to page 2 ?!

    If it were up to me, I would of dissected you all weeks ago, and replaced you with giant talking squirrels, those suckers are totally loyal as long as you keep them a steady supply of nuts.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Heh. Henry Rollins isn't that old, ya know.

    Black Flag!

    TV Party!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Posts: 1,156,071 Arc User
    edited September 2009
    Thanks for bringing me on, guys.
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