A mix of all four is sounding pretty good. The only Reason He is simialr to Iron fist is his Martial arts and the way he channels his powers but personality and costume wise He is a cross between the other three..
Wait, I thought the original corsair was the only survivor? If that's the case, how'd the family rivalry get going? Did the shipmates family merely assume the corsair could have saved their loved one and didn't? Or were there two survivors?
A priviteer's ship is rarely owned by the captain. Usually (if not owned by the government, of course) it is financially backed by a group of investors....
with the ship lost, and (disgracefully) the Captain returns with neither ship nor wealth to recover the loss.... Many of those investors could go belly up from the endevor.
and.... what if there was one great investor... one out to make every copper penny out of every persuit.... only to be nearly ruined by this one man.... who gains wealth and noteriety as the investor and his family slip ever closer to ruin?
That would work, but I was fixated on the specification of shipmate.
However, considering it was also often the policy of private investors to insist that a relative be on the ship in a position to "protect the investment" your supposition not only works, but blends with the original intent.
Oh, if it was Sir Gamble the first on the ship though, the current Sir Gamble should at least be the III, rather than the II. Unless the name was intentionally avoided by the family instead of commemorated.
I had an idea of a hero/nemesis combo after I read the one-shot The Death of the Escapist, but i'm not really sure how to explore the characters. Especially, i'm not really sure exactly which one should be the hero and which one the villain! Although it wouldn't hurt for someone to suggest some appropriate powers. I guess what i'm getting at here is, help me with the "superhero" part of this, with a bit of backstory help. An outside opinion would be...super! Zing!
Link
(I don't know about the name, for obvious reasons, but I was trying to evoke a link in a chain)
Secret Identity: Albert Jaroslaw
Age: 41
A super, formerly affiliated with a secretive reactionary group colloquially known as the Iron Chain. The group was formed with the goal of preventing violent regime change in the early postcolonial era (1960's) by suppressing potentially dangerous rebel groups, especially in Africa and South America. (Here I could use some guidance on founders, history, etc. One of my main kicks here is that the group was formed with altruistic goals, at least to start with, it wasn't just "Keep those durn natives from stirrin' the pot!") Albert Jaroslaw, though dedicated to the cause of preventing violent upheaval and serving with distinction against FARC and UNITA during expeditions, eventually became disillusioned with a new generation of leadership in the group. These new leaders became more concentrated on containing or destroying all rebel groups, moving away from the groups' unofficial goal of promoting orderly transfer of power to democracy. Though he left the group and retired in 1998, his personal sense of loyalty led him to refuse a request to speak to the US Senate about the recent activities of the "Chain". In recent years, his inner conflict over letting the increasingly un-heroic group he once served with get off scot-free has led him to return to the cowl of Link in order to restore an increasingly tumultous' world's faith in order.
I especially want help on powers for this guy, who i'm leaning towards as the hero. Preferably something conducive to minimizing collateral damage and restraining foes...i'm leaning towards some type of localized gravity/inertia control. And how he got them couldn't hurt!
Anticitizen One
(Hur hur, Half-Life.)
Secret Identity: Jiang Luan (Publicly revealed her identity in 2000)
Age: 32
The death of her parents in a PRC crackdown changed 7-year old Jiang Luan's life forever. (I could use some fleshing out here, i'm going for a Magneto kind of sympathetic backstory that somehow ends up with her escaping but being, unusually, entered into the People's Liberation Army records for capture) No ordinary human child could have survived, scraping for sustenance and shelter in the unforgiving backcountry of China, desperately avoiding anything and anyone remotely official, pleading to herself that it wasn't her fault.
Tellingly, she survived.
Unbeknownst to Luan, it was her fault. The crackdown was on families of metahumans who would not give their loved ones into government hands. The government's interest in her was explained by a group of the powered Tibetan underground, who found her exhausted and crying at the scene of an accidental power manifestation that left a poor friendly sparrow turned to stone in her hands. (her power: magically transmuting anything that touches her bare skin into another material). Finding people who shared her plight moved her to join them, training her powers to help the oppressed and impoverished with sustenance and medicine, while developing an interest in Tibetan Buddhist nonviolent philosophy. That would have been enough for her, helping occupied Tibet under the guise of "The Alchemist", until it happened. (I haven't decided what it is. But it begins with a Chinese raid, ends with the death of the government officials, a gracious host Tibetan family, and all of her powered cohort as a result of a giant power manifestation, and leads to her rejection of nonviolence in the case of "the oppressors", as well as her adopting a new name for her new violent resistance against authority around the world as Burenmin Yi: Anticitizen One. Anarchist, atheist, feminist, Luan has garnered attention around the world (including a spot on TIME's 100 Most Influential People...twice) for her constant promotion of change...for better or for worse.
Power origins, anyone? I also want to flesh out her time as a fugitive in China. In fact, I really just want advice on how to create the proper "feel" for this character. I like the idea of a public-figure supervillain who is known by day as a peaceful "world citizen" who uses her powers to purify water, improve soil, and turn the occasional gun into a child's doll, but at night, uses her powers to fund or directly assist her fellow"Anticitizens" in anti-government insurgencies around the world. I actually initially came up with the idea for this character as a metahuman helping the mujahideen against the Soviets in Afghanistan. On the other hand, she could work as kind of an antihero with some tweaks...suggestions on alignment for these two, anyone? Oh, and how they met/developed such a grudge?
give the girl a little brother.... ever seen grave of the fireflies?
thats the FIRST thing I thought of.... her little brother cant survive like she can...because shes not actually surviving on what they are scrounging, shes just.... surviving.
I know its a little "overdone" as of late... but your second character is so utterly compelling, that I'd much rather see her as the focus (and, as such, the hero) of the two...
basically, I see a dynamic of Anti-hero vs. Anti-villain.
we support Luan because she is more "human".. she has flaws and faults and she tries to do her best with what she has... she just has no real moral compass.. she has that strong anti-federal stance that makes her an anarchist, but shes not looking to "kill" the establishment... she just wants it to go away, and stop screwing up peoples lives.
meanwhile... you have Shackle, a man "pure of heart" with a truely great goal and ideal.... Peace, justice, freedom... and though his methods are not cruel... his aim utterly misses the mark...
he views "superheroes" as an upsetting of the balance of humanity... a dangerous anomoly to order... as easily(and likely) villains as heroes...
A man dedicated to ending "aberation" of any kind.... but never along racial lines, as races are natural and fair and just.... but he can be just as closed minded as any clan wizard, when it comes to anyone who might, in his estimation, upset the balance.
Link: Honestly, he sounds like a combat-empath. Maybe some telepathy as well. It would help locate the rebels in hidden locations and give him a better understanding of them as people. Which could be one of the reasons he didn't like the new direction of the Iron Chain. Of course, I also thought he and the Iron Chain were Russion originally for some reason. He'd also have military training and likely most of his other powers would really be pieces of equipment. However, while this fits, it isn't necessary. He could reallisticaly have any power or power combo you want, although the military training is pretty much a given.
Anti-citizen one:
She really sounds like a mutant. However, of what variety? Typical random mutation? A mutation that is the result of exposure of or experimentation on one or both of her parents? A mutation with a mystical base?
Eh, Ghost, for the first time I have to disagree with you. To me that would just turn it into another formulaic cliche.
Personally, I think Link is the more interesting character due to the fact that he's actually the one that is striving against the establishment to do the right thing. The system has decided that elimination of the "undesirable" elements is the simpler solution, rather than trying to gain their trust and help them adjust. Link turned his back on everything when he left, not just the Iron Chain and the system it represented, but also the people he was trying to help. Feeling guilty, he is driven to try and correct his past mistake.
For Anti-Citizen One, she really is part of the system. Anarchists make great scape-goats for the establishment. Honestly, I'd keep her as a pacifist. By turning violent she betrayed those who helped her accept herself and find a sense of "place". What's more, as a pacifist she becomes much harder to stop. Her ability would allow her to change stanard munitions to something harmless as they impacted. So, how do you stop someone that refuses to stop but that traditional forces and munitions cannot harm? At least, how do you stop her without making yourself look the part of the villain?
Hmm...actually, i'm fascinated by the concept of antihero vs. antivillain that GhostHack mentioned. You really hit the nail on the head with your characterization of Shackle (I like this name much more!) as not the stereotypical generally-intolerant, Senator I-Forgot-His-Name from X-Men style antagonist, but as someone who believes in maintaining a fair, just, and equal society that metahumans just don't easily fit into. And yet, Maekellen reminds me why I was leaning more towards him as the protagonist (moreso than the hero). I'm developing the idea of a character who really gave up everything on moral grounds, and now is beginning to really regret it.
The idea of keeping Anticitizen a pacifist intrigues me as well: how can you possibly claim the moral high ground attacking someone who won't hit you back? And the notion of her turning a bank vault entrance into water to steal the money for funds, all the while delivering a lecture on the evils of the capitalistic hierarchy, then first things first keeping civillians out of harm's way (and making sure the cameras are rolling: remember, the media is a weapon!) when a hero shows up to stop her has a certain appeal.
On the other hand, in the context of this game, I doubt we'll be able to program our archnemeses to be purely on the defensive during random confrontations. And for that matter, how could Shackle be explained away as being found to be, say, behind a conspiracy to rob a bank? In gameplay terms, Shackle as the hero versus a violent-out-of-percieved-necessity Anticitizen One seems to be the most workable solution.
*Sigh* Still, though, I don't know how satisfied I am with that. There has to be a way to really make these two work, gamewise and storywise.
From a powers perspective, Shackle as a telepath of some sort intrigues me. Perhaps with light mind-control type abilities to make someone lose their will to fight, for example, a simple combat debuffer type character. And I should note that despite how it sounds, Anticitizen is actually not invincible: she doesn't have super-reflexes, she can only transmute so many things from so many directions at once, and energy blasts (for example) aren't exactly material she can transmute.
Si que no os aburre, I wonder if you might look at their backstories to see if you have any suggestions to further sensemake them, especially with Link/Shackle. You really have a knack for this type of writing.
when I "Cop Out!", I instantly become 6 feet 2 inches tall, grow a handdle bar moustash and avators and can throw a speeding ticket at an offender nearly 15 blocks away... usually attached to a brick.
if I have to buy a breakfast pastry to keep my Cop Rage going a little longer, I shout "COP PAY CASH!" and slam my money on the countertop, silently issuing a challenge to all within the Shoppe to prove me wrong....
Personally, I don't worry about making it workable in game. For one thing, we don't really know how anything is going to work yet. However, it's mainly because I'm writing the story of my character for myself, not Cryptic. If it works as written, great. If not, I'll fit it as best I can to the concept and not worry about the inconsistencies.
For Anit-Citizen One, I never thought of her as invincible/invulnerable. However, for any standard munition to work, it has to touch her skin. If her costume doesn't include gloves or long sleeves, you couldn't get handcuffs to work either. You pretty much need energy or mental based attacks and restraints to work on her.
I have to admit, Shackle sounds better than Link by a landslide.
The reason I disagree with Ghost about making the girl the hero is because, quite simply, it's the current forumula in writing and while it works, it's very easy to fall into the trap of letting the fact that she's female be why she's the hero. Woman is misunderstood as both a young girl and a young woman. Everytime people get close to her and honestly care, bad things happen to them. Despite all this, woman triumphs and becomes the hero. It's the modern stereotype.
Rachel Caine's Weather Warden series, Patricia Briggs Mercedes stories, Barb and J.C. Hendee's Dhampir series, all use this formual and while the latter two are excellent reads all the way (so far) the first one falls into the trap of it feeling like she's the hero just because she's a woman. S.M. Stirling has a series with both a male and female lead that is honestly one of the best series I've ever read. I don't know the name of the series, off hand, but it starts with Dies the Fire. Both are strong individuals and natural leaders in their own right and neither depends on the other to be a fully fleshed character. As a result, it's a more natural read.
The best advice I can give you is to think about how you really want the story to turn out and write it in such a manner that it does so.
aww, I like the Rachel Caine series ;P
and Dies the fire doesnt have a sold "saga" title... the second trilogy has one though, but I cant remember it.
personally, I think you're "seeing" the sterotype, rather than seeing the character... that is to say, your discription of "The stereotype" is identical to male hero stereotypes... especially the modern teen/20 male heroes.
Take Anti-Citizen1 from the context of the country she lives in. A girl in china? there is a lot of reality to her "plight" that can be drawn from.. and a lot of resentment from her perspective.
I would MUCH rather avoid the "White american knight vs. Evil Foreign commie" theme/stereotype... than worry about the character "possibly slipping into" a current female hero stereotype.
(and for the record, I highly disagree about your assessment of those series... I would honestly put them the other way around, where Damphir could have been anything, but they followed the "sexy female lead" MO.... Jo's story is entirely about being a woman in a supernatural situation. Its not, in any way, a generic story that just had a woman in the role, because its "trendy" right now. )
aww, I like the Rachel Caine series ;P
and Dies the fire doesnt have a sold "saga" title... the second trilogy has one though, but I cant remember it.
personally, I think you're "seeing" the sterotype, rather than seeing the character... that is to say, your discription of "The stereotype" is identical to male hero stereotypes... especially the modern teen/20 male heroes.
Take Anti-Citizen1 from the context of the country she lives in. A girl in china? there is a lot of reality to her "plight" that can be drawn from.. and a lot of resentment from her perspective.
I would MUCH rather avoid the "White american knight vs. Evil Foreign commie" theme/stereotype... than worry about the character "possibly slipping into" a current female hero stereotype.
(and for the record, I highly disagree about your assessment of those series... I would honestly put them the other way around, where Damphir could have been anything, but they followed the "sexy female lead" MO.... Jo's story is entirely about being a woman in a supernatural situation. Its not, in any way, a generic story that just had a woman in the role, because its "trendy" right now. )
I'm still debating Dhampir. It took them a bit to develop the male lead at all and he's so many freaking stereo-types blended together that he might just disintegrate. But, at least it hasn't gone the way that Vampire Earth appears to be going (although I'll get the next book and see how badly they screw up Valentine this time). I do admit thought that the ending of the last of the series I've read left me thinking "God, no, don't tell me they're going to screw it up!"
I think it's the love-triangle between her, the genie and her first lover thing that makes the Weather Warden series seem a patched together pile of cliche's to me. I really enjoyed the first 3 books and after that it seemed to degenerate. Of course, it could simply have been all the freaking situations they through at her, I don't honestly know. Then again, it could be the same thing that's throwing me off the Dresden Files of late. The character just reaches the point where they may as well declare themSuperman and be done with it. The only flaw seems to be in their love lives (admittedly, that's oversimplifying). I didn't try to evaluate the feeling when it hit me, in either book.
Of the ones with a purely female lead, I think I'd rate Patricia Brigg's series with the skinwalking Volkswagen mechanic named Mercedes as the most enjoyable. Although, I just recently finished Summon the Keeper by Tanya Huff and that book was a riot as well as a good read. Who can resist Hell talking to itself!
Honestly, I'd still have to put Stirling's series with co-leads as the best read I've had of late. But then, that seems the more natural pattern to me anyway.
In regards to the stereotype issue, I realize I'm defining it identically to the traditional male stereotype. I see it as the same stereotype, in all honesty. The only difference is the gender and while I did appreciate the traditional male stereotype at one point, it gets on my nerves now as well. I don't care what the gender of the main character is as long as the character is developed enough to carry the role.
As for the conflict between the two proposed characters, I've got to admit that it didn't occur to me from that angle and that, yes, that would create a problem of its own. But...is Shackle of necessity Anglo? He could be descended from quite a few non-Anglo races in the US (figuratively or literally!). For that matter, do either of them have to be the hero/villain? From the background we were asked to comment on, it really sounds to me like both characters are Heroes in their own right, so long as Anti-Citizen 1 doesn't go ballistic. Both are doing what they believe to be the right thing for their own reasons. Why not portray both of them in the best light possible and play the conflict as necessitated more by the demands of society than by one being the good-guy and the other the bad-guy.
Anti-Citizen 1 represents the rights and plight of the individual over tyrannical society. Shackle represents the advancement of society through order, but an order that is largely created through compromise. Two differing world views that ironically are trying to accomplish the same thing.
Actually, that's an interesting idea, having both of them as heroes, albeit with an unusually intense and public rivalry that has been whispered of as turning violent once or twice.
Oh, right, and I have seen Grave of the Fireflies, and come to think of it, it's a parallel i'll have to see about expounding upon by giving her a sibling to soften her up a bit.
The original idea I had of Shackle was of being of Polish background, but his ethnicity can be changed to something less European, indeed, that would strengthen the implicit reader notion that he is not racially intolerant, but "meta"-intolerant.
as much as you enjoy the concept... you really cant deal with serial writing. You like the character, and the over arching story.....
but the fact that characters continue to have to have "stuff happen" eventually kills them... Thats why you can get into sterlings books so much... It ends. (personally, dies the fire was the only "excelent" one... the other two were viciously patched and choppy, and way too much "camp" thrown in for no real added value, imo.. good but not great)
I love serial writing... its like a comic book with actual development and, gasp, coherent plots.... :-P
(totally agree with the Vampire Earth fiasco... I havent read er... Resolve? the most recient one that's actually been released.... but the end of exile had me choking on bile for a while... Ahn-kel awsome, baby half vampire.. GAAAYNESS (no offence to those of the sexual prefrence))
I cant get into the writing of any of the werewolf chick books, nor the Dante Valentine stuff... its all just junk... I like The Weather Wardens, because I really like Jo's character, and I like David (modeled my character Will after him... as well as The Lorings from Protector's war.... I hope they're seen more as homages, though, rather than theft )
I've looked at the anthology, but the fact that the trilogy is on book 6 or more now kind of puts me off. I need to get the next Vampire Earth book just to give it a fair shake (likely the last one though) as well as the next in Huff's Keeper series. When they're in paperback I need to get the next Dresden Files and Alleran Chronicles books by Bucher as well. Oh, and then there's John Ringo's series (hrm, can't recall the name of the particular series off hand!)
You could be right about me having an aversion to serials, though. It's a common enough complaint of mine that authors seem to keep series alive long past the point they should end just to keep making a profit out of them. Too many excellent characters have been ruined simply by the need to keep throwing more and more things at them.
Uhm, who's Dante Valentine? I was referring to the character of David Valentine in the Vampire Earth series. And yah, I hated how the guy who's done more for ridding the earth of the Kurians than anyone adopts the baby-vampire. I also didn't care for him getting the shaft with that military trial and politics either. It's as though E.E. Knight decided to go an entirely new direction with the series and one that, frankly, I'm not fond of.
there's just the trilogy... the "other books" are like... collections of short stories, almost... some of them are history for the characters, or fill in gaps between the original three books.... two are stories "in addition" to the original trilogy... but they arent actually new books... in the sense of being full novels continuing the same storyline... rather "more adventures of..." type things.
basically... unnecessary.
get the 3 book anthology (daughter of the blood, heir to the shadows, queen of the darkness)
thats what im telling you to read... the rest, is just whether you want to read more about the characters and the world... after you're done.
there's just the trilogy... the "other books" are like... collections of short stories, almost... some of them are history for the characters, or fill in gaps between the original three books.... two are stories "in addition" to the original trilogy... but they arent actually new books... in the sense of being full novels continuing the same storyline... rather "more adventures of..." type things.
basically... unnecessary.
get the 3 book anthology (daughter of the blood, heir to the shadows, queen of the darkness)
thats what im telling you to read... the rest, is just whether you want to read more about the characters and the world... after you're done.
Ahh, ok, that's the big problem with Amazon, you can't always tell what's what with the information given. They list the other books as part of the freaking series.
Heh, hadn't seen the Dante Valentine book before. Threw me for a loop as I'd just mentioned Valentine with the Vampire Earth books.
It's not the best of series, but it does have its moments. Not a must read by any means, but it was interesting. It was good enough for me to actually read all three books at any rate.
look, im not writting snob... one of my favorite series is by David Eddings...
I just think that most fantasy is drivvle.... a feeling thats been creeping on exponentionally now that "urban fantasy" is getting classified as such.... a little too much train, not enough gravy.
I've looked at the anthology, but the fact that the trilogy is on book 6 or more now kind of puts me off. I need to get the next Vampire Earth book just to give it a fair shake (likely the last one though) as well as the next in Huff's Keeper series. When they're in paperback I need to get the next Dresden Files and Alleran Chronicles books by Bucher as well. Oh, and then there's John Ringo's series (hrm, can't recall the name of the particular series off hand!)
You could be right about me having an aversion to serials, though. It's a common enough complaint of mine that authors seem to keep series alive long past the point they should end just to keep making a profit out of them. Too many excellent characters have been ruined simply by the need to keep throwing more and more things at them.
Uhm, who's Dante Valentine? I was referring to the character of David Valentine in the Vampire Earth series. And yah, I hated how the guy who's done more for ridding the earth of the Kurians than anyone adopts the baby-vampire. I also didn't care for him getting the shaft with that military trial and politics either. It's as though E.E. Knight decided to go an entirely new direction with the series and one that, frankly, I'm not fond of.
I just couldn't handle the Vampire Earth books. I tried reading them, but the writing, the story line, it was all just a little *meh* for me.
I mean, I'm no Shakespeare myself, but I know decent stuff when I read it.
On the other hand, I've been reading the Dresden Files books for YEARS and I L-O-V-E them.
Jim Butcher is the man.
look, im not writting snob... one of my favorite series is by David Eddings...
I just think that most fantasy is drivvle.... a feeling thats been creeping on exponentionally now that "urban fantasy" is getting classified as such.... a little too much train, not enough gravy.
Any other decent Urban Fantasy series out there besides Dresden stuff Ghost?
My only caveat is, not too much in the sex department, and I want a Male protagonist.
Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, especially concerning their likes/dislikes about art (assuming you can even qualify right to opinions heh).
Besides, Fantasy is quickly reaching the point where there is very little new actually being written. Nearly everything is a rewrite of older works, ancient myths or both. Honestly, the reason the Path novels appealed to me at all was probably the fact that I've little (more like, no) exposure to the mythos it was based upon. Hell, I quit reading comics precisely because Marvel and DC both entered a spiral of refusing to create new titles but instead re-writing all of the old ones. I can't stand the Ultimate series!
Sci-Fi and Fantasy are simply the genre's I grew up with and I got to the point where I couldn't stand reading most philosophy books anymore.
Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, especially concerning their likes/dislikes about art (assuming you can even qualify right to opinions heh).
Besides, Fantasy is quickly reaching the point where there is very little new actually being written. Nearly everything is a rewrite of older works, ancient myths or both. Honestly, the reason the Path novels appealed to me at all was probably the fact that I've little (more like, no) exposure to the mythos it was based upon. Hell, I quit reading comics precisely because Marvel and DC both entered a spiral of refusing to create new titles but instead re-writing all of the old ones. I can't stand the Ultimate series!
Sci-Fi and Fantasy are simply the genre's I grew up with and I got to the point where I couldn't stand reading most philosophy books anymore.
assuming that you are directing that towards me (because I'm arrogant like that ) I'm going to go ahead and agree with you. Fantasy and Sci-Fi is getting a bit repetitive to me, that's why I'm asking for advice. When I found the Dresden series, it was like a breath of fresh air for me. At this point, I'm moving into military fiction more and more, catching up on Tom Clancy, or Clive Cussler. Heck, I also just read whatever fantasy novels I can get for cheap nowadays.
If you want some sci-fi / fantasy, and you aren't afraid to laugh, I'd recommend The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse. It won novel of the year from the SFX magazine, which is saying something. It's british and it's pretty amusing.
Any other decent Urban Fantasy series out there besides Dresden stuff Ghost?
My only caveat is, not too much in the sex department, and I want a Male protagonist.
you might give Neil Giaman's Neverwhere a read... one of my favorites, but its a singleshot.
also, there's Camille Bacon-Smith's Demon eyes... heard mixed-positive reviews about it, but havent read it myself.
its sort of suprising really... this genere is getting to be "big" but nearly all the protagonists are women... my theory is that there were a lot of "one off" writers.. not that they were one-off being writters, rather.... they didnt "quite" write fantasy novels...
and so, they wrote fiction, and they wrote to what they knew....
basically urban fantasy, as a genere is more like what happens when Women want to read crime noir with a tough chick as the protagonist....
...but they wanna bang a vampire too. ;P
assuming that you are directing that towards me (because I'm arrogant like that ) I'm going to go ahead and agree with you. Fantasy and Sci-Fi is getting a bit repetitive to me, that's why I'm asking for advice. When I found the Dresden series, it was like a breath of fresh air for me. At this point, I'm moving into military fiction more and more, catching up on Tom Clancy, or Clive Cussler. Heck, I also just read whatever fantasy novels I can get for cheap nowadays.
If you want some sci-fi / fantasy, and you aren't afraid to laugh, I'd recommend The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse. It won novel of the year from the SFX magazine, which is saying something. It's british and it's pretty amusing.
Actually, I was replying to Ghost, you just hit enter first.
Dresden's becoming too Puglike for me. If something doesn't change in the next book or two I'll likely drop that series.
Luckily for me, I've been almost exclusively Fantasy for a long time so Sci-Fi still has a few surprises left.
you might give Neil Giaman's Neverwhere a read... one of my favorites, but its a singleshot.
also, there's Camille Bacon-Smith's Demon eyes... heard mixed-positive reviews about it, but havent read it myself.
its sort of suprising really... this genere is getting to be "big" but nearly all the protagonists are women... my theory is that there were a lot of "one off" writers.. not that they were one-off being writters, rather.... they didnt "quite" write fantasy novels...
and so, they wrote fiction, and they wrote to what they knew....
basically urban fantasy, as a genere is more like what happens when Women want to read crime noir with a tough chick as the protagonist....
...but they wanna bang a vampire too. ;P
God, I hate what the Anita Blake series turned into. -shudders- And it started out with such promise too!
you might give Neil Giaman's Neverwhere a read... one of my favorites, but its a singleshot.
also, there's Camille Bacon-Smith's Demon eyes... heard mixed-positive reviews about it, but havent read it myself.
its sort of suprising really... this genere is getting to be "big" but nearly all the protagonists are women... my theory is that there were a lot of "one off" writers.. not that they were one-off being writters, rather.... they didnt "quite" write fantasy novels...
and so, they wrote fiction, and they wrote to what they knew....
basically urban fantasy, as a genere is more like what happens when Women want to read crime noir with a tough chick as the protagonist....
...but they wanna bang a vampire too. ;P
Yeah I've read Gaimen's stuff already, enjoyed it. I just finished Anansi's Boys. It was pretty ok. I liked Neverwhere quite a bit.
I think you are right on the mark there with your assesment of urban fantasy, which is too bad. for I am neither a woman, nor do I have any interest in "banging" a vampire. If you'll pardon my french.
Im sure if he was really really cute ......
well, no matter...
pitty you cant get behind a female lead, there are a couple series worth reading out there.... for something "near" that genere, you could take a look at E. E. Knight's "Vampire Earth" series (starts with Way of the Wolf).... its getting a little derailed as a series, at the moment (but its on book, like, 8 now...) but the first 4-5 books are a solid read and very enjoyable.
Im sure if he was really really cute ......
well, no matter...
pitty you cant get behind a female lead, there are a couple series worth reading out there.... for something "near" that genere, you could take a look at E. E. Knight's "Vampire Earth" series (starts with Way of the Wolf).... its getting a little derailed as a series, at the moment (but its on book, like, 8 now...) but the first 4-5 books are a solid read and very enjoyable.
It's not that I haven't tried, I just can't relate to female leads. It might have been those years of terrible novels I was forced to read in highschool, all that Victorian refuse.
Vampire Earth books are actually what drug me into this conversation. I tried reading the first couple and just couldn't get interested. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to my vampires I'm afraid.
And no, a really really cute FEMALE vampire is out of the question, so a male one is not even a consideration.
I'm afraid my boat doesn't sail those waters.
Oh, and if anyone Needs some character advice, we're basically just kickin it around the hypothetical watercooler at the moment, so feel free to pounce on in.
Here is the origin story for my charcter.
Dr. Alex Loft was a brilliant engineer. If anyone wanted something designed a built that would work at maxmium efficiency they would go to him and that is exactly what they did. He was working for the military developing a top secret weapons program that would completly obliterate anyone who got in their way.
One night whilst working late, he heard a noise and went to investigate and found five men waiting for him. He tried to escape but before he knew it he was bound, gagged and blindfolded and then thrown into a van.
When the van stopped and his blindfold was removed he found himself in a cage in a huge warehouse. And that is where he was kept for two years he blindly obeyed his captors building what ever they asked him to and doing what ever they wanted. But one night as he was sitting in the dark two men came for him they told him that his services were no longer needed and that they were going to kill him. They took him to the edge of a cliff and pointed a gun at him. As the man was about to shoot he jumped off and plumeted into the icy water below. His captors left believing he had died.
He swam to the shore and despratly ran off into the distance. He arrived at an abandoned rubbish tip and set up a make shift shelter. while sitting in the dark hudled over for warmth he vowed to find who ever had captured him and bring them to justice. So using what ever he could find he built a pair of high tech gauntlets with retractable claws and a pair of state of the art pistols. He donned himself Agent Grey and set out to fight evil dooers and find the people who had imprisoned him.
What do you think? I'd be grateful for some feedback.
Comments
A priviteer's ship is rarely owned by the captain. Usually (if not owned by the government, of course) it is financially backed by a group of investors....
with the ship lost, and (disgracefully) the Captain returns with neither ship nor wealth to recover the loss.... Many of those investors could go belly up from the endevor.
and.... what if there was one great investor... one out to make every copper penny out of every persuit.... only to be nearly ruined by this one man.... who gains wealth and noteriety as the investor and his family slip ever closer to ruin?
However, considering it was also often the policy of private investors to insist that a relative be on the ship in a position to "protect the investment" your supposition not only works, but blends with the original intent.
Oh, if it was Sir Gamble the first on the ship though, the current Sir Gamble should at least be the III, rather than the II. Unless the name was intentionally avoided by the family instead of commemorated.
Link
(I don't know about the name, for obvious reasons, but I was trying to evoke a link in a chain)
Secret Identity: Albert Jaroslaw
Age: 41
A super, formerly affiliated with a secretive reactionary group colloquially known as the Iron Chain. The group was formed with the goal of preventing violent regime change in the early postcolonial era (1960's) by suppressing potentially dangerous rebel groups, especially in Africa and South America. (Here I could use some guidance on founders, history, etc. One of my main kicks here is that the group was formed with altruistic goals, at least to start with, it wasn't just "Keep those durn natives from stirrin' the pot!") Albert Jaroslaw, though dedicated to the cause of preventing violent upheaval and serving with distinction against FARC and UNITA during expeditions, eventually became disillusioned with a new generation of leadership in the group. These new leaders became more concentrated on containing or destroying all rebel groups, moving away from the groups' unofficial goal of promoting orderly transfer of power to democracy. Though he left the group and retired in 1998, his personal sense of loyalty led him to refuse a request to speak to the US Senate about the recent activities of the "Chain". In recent years, his inner conflict over letting the increasingly un-heroic group he once served with get off scot-free has led him to return to the cowl of Link in order to restore an increasingly tumultous' world's faith in order.
I especially want help on powers for this guy, who i'm leaning towards as the hero. Preferably something conducive to minimizing collateral damage and restraining foes...i'm leaning towards some type of localized gravity/inertia control. And how he got them couldn't hurt!
Anticitizen One
(Hur hur, Half-Life.)
Secret Identity: Jiang Luan (Publicly revealed her identity in 2000)
Age: 32
The death of her parents in a PRC crackdown changed 7-year old Jiang Luan's life forever. (I could use some fleshing out here, i'm going for a Magneto kind of sympathetic backstory that somehow ends up with her escaping but being, unusually, entered into the People's Liberation Army records for capture) No ordinary human child could have survived, scraping for sustenance and shelter in the unforgiving backcountry of China, desperately avoiding anything and anyone remotely official, pleading to herself that it wasn't her fault.
Tellingly, she survived.
Unbeknownst to Luan, it was her fault. The crackdown was on families of metahumans who would not give their loved ones into government hands. The government's interest in her was explained by a group of the powered Tibetan underground, who found her exhausted and crying at the scene of an accidental power manifestation that left a poor friendly sparrow turned to stone in her hands. (her power: magically transmuting anything that touches her bare skin into another material). Finding people who shared her plight moved her to join them, training her powers to help the oppressed and impoverished with sustenance and medicine, while developing an interest in Tibetan Buddhist nonviolent philosophy. That would have been enough for her, helping occupied Tibet under the guise of "The Alchemist", until it happened. (I haven't decided what it is. But it begins with a Chinese raid, ends with the death of the government officials, a gracious host Tibetan family, and all of her powered cohort as a result of a giant power manifestation, and leads to her rejection of nonviolence in the case of "the oppressors", as well as her adopting a new name for her new violent resistance against authority around the world as Burenmin Yi: Anticitizen One. Anarchist, atheist, feminist, Luan has garnered attention around the world (including a spot on TIME's 100 Most Influential People...twice) for her constant promotion of change...for better or for worse.
Power origins, anyone? I also want to flesh out her time as a fugitive in China. In fact, I really just want advice on how to create the proper "feel" for this character. I like the idea of a public-figure supervillain who is known by day as a peaceful "world citizen" who uses her powers to purify water, improve soil, and turn the occasional gun into a child's doll, but at night, uses her powers to fund or directly assist her fellow"Anticitizens" in anti-government insurgencies around the world. I actually initially came up with the idea for this character as a metahuman helping the mujahideen against the Soviets in Afghanistan. On the other hand, she could work as kind of an antihero with some tweaks...suggestions on alignment for these two, anyone? Oh, and how they met/developed such a grudge?
thats the FIRST thing I thought of.... her little brother cant survive like she can...because shes not actually surviving on what they are scrounging, shes just.... surviving.
I know its a little "overdone" as of late... but your second character is so utterly compelling, that I'd much rather see her as the focus (and, as such, the hero) of the two...
basically, I see a dynamic of Anti-hero vs. Anti-villain.
we support Luan because she is more "human".. she has flaws and faults and she tries to do her best with what she has... she just has no real moral compass.. she has that strong anti-federal stance that makes her an anarchist, but shes not looking to "kill" the establishment... she just wants it to go away, and stop screwing up peoples lives.
meanwhile... you have Shackle, a man "pure of heart" with a truely great goal and ideal.... Peace, justice, freedom... and though his methods are not cruel... his aim utterly misses the mark...
he views "superheroes" as an upsetting of the balance of humanity... a dangerous anomoly to order... as easily(and likely) villains as heroes...
A man dedicated to ending "aberation" of any kind.... but never along racial lines, as races are natural and fair and just.... but he can be just as closed minded as any clan wizard, when it comes to anyone who might, in his estimation, upset the balance.
Link: Honestly, he sounds like a combat-empath. Maybe some telepathy as well. It would help locate the rebels in hidden locations and give him a better understanding of them as people. Which could be one of the reasons he didn't like the new direction of the Iron Chain. Of course, I also thought he and the Iron Chain were Russion originally for some reason. He'd also have military training and likely most of his other powers would really be pieces of equipment. However, while this fits, it isn't necessary. He could reallisticaly have any power or power combo you want, although the military training is pretty much a given.
Anti-citizen one:
She really sounds like a mutant. However, of what variety? Typical random mutation? A mutation that is the result of exposure of or experimentation on one or both of her parents? A mutation with a mystical base?
Personally, I think Link is the more interesting character due to the fact that he's actually the one that is striving against the establishment to do the right thing. The system has decided that elimination of the "undesirable" elements is the simpler solution, rather than trying to gain their trust and help them adjust. Link turned his back on everything when he left, not just the Iron Chain and the system it represented, but also the people he was trying to help. Feeling guilty, he is driven to try and correct his past mistake.
For Anti-Citizen One, she really is part of the system. Anarchists make great scape-goats for the establishment. Honestly, I'd keep her as a pacifist. By turning violent she betrayed those who helped her accept herself and find a sense of "place". What's more, as a pacifist she becomes much harder to stop. Her ability would allow her to change stanard munitions to something harmless as they impacted. So, how do you stop someone that refuses to stop but that traditional forces and munitions cannot harm? At least, how do you stop her without making yourself look the part of the villain?
The idea of keeping Anticitizen a pacifist intrigues me as well: how can you possibly claim the moral high ground attacking someone who won't hit you back? And the notion of her turning a bank vault entrance into water to steal the money for funds, all the while delivering a lecture on the evils of the capitalistic hierarchy, then first things first keeping civillians out of harm's way (and making sure the cameras are rolling: remember, the media is a weapon!) when a hero shows up to stop her has a certain appeal.
On the other hand, in the context of this game, I doubt we'll be able to program our archnemeses to be purely on the defensive during random confrontations. And for that matter, how could Shackle be explained away as being found to be, say, behind a conspiracy to rob a bank? In gameplay terms, Shackle as the hero versus a violent-out-of-percieved-necessity Anticitizen One seems to be the most workable solution.
*Sigh* Still, though, I don't know how satisfied I am with that. There has to be a way to really make these two work, gamewise and storywise.
From a powers perspective, Shackle as a telepath of some sort intrigues me. Perhaps with light mind-control type abilities to make someone lose their will to fight, for example, a simple combat debuffer type character. And I should note that despite how it sounds, Anticitizen is actually not invincible: she doesn't have super-reflexes, she can only transmute so many things from so many directions at once, and energy blasts (for example) aren't exactly material she can transmute.
Si que no os aburre, I wonder if you might look at their backstories to see if you have any suggestions to further sensemake them, especially with Link/Shackle. You really have a knack for this type of writing.
or everyone? :-p
But all of the suggestions in this thread have been intriguing, and anyone who's reading and has a thought is welcome and requested to chip in.
if I have to buy a breakfast pastry to keep my Cop Rage going a little longer, I shout "COP PAY CASH!" and slam my money on the countertop, silently issuing a challenge to all within the Shoppe to prove me wrong....
For Anit-Citizen One, I never thought of her as invincible/invulnerable. However, for any standard munition to work, it has to touch her skin. If her costume doesn't include gloves or long sleeves, you couldn't get handcuffs to work either. You pretty much need energy or mental based attacks and restraints to work on her.
I have to admit, Shackle sounds better than Link by a landslide.
The reason I disagree with Ghost about making the girl the hero is because, quite simply, it's the current forumula in writing and while it works, it's very easy to fall into the trap of letting the fact that she's female be why she's the hero. Woman is misunderstood as both a young girl and a young woman. Everytime people get close to her and honestly care, bad things happen to them. Despite all this, woman triumphs and becomes the hero. It's the modern stereotype.
Rachel Caine's Weather Warden series, Patricia Briggs Mercedes stories, Barb and J.C. Hendee's Dhampir series, all use this formual and while the latter two are excellent reads all the way (so far) the first one falls into the trap of it feeling like she's the hero just because she's a woman. S.M. Stirling has a series with both a male and female lead that is honestly one of the best series I've ever read. I don't know the name of the series, off hand, but it starts with Dies the Fire. Both are strong individuals and natural leaders in their own right and neither depends on the other to be a fully fleshed character. As a result, it's a more natural read.
The best advice I can give you is to think about how you really want the story to turn out and write it in such a manner that it does so.
and Dies the fire doesnt have a sold "saga" title... the second trilogy has one though, but I cant remember it.
personally, I think you're "seeing" the sterotype, rather than seeing the character... that is to say, your discription of "The stereotype" is identical to male hero stereotypes... especially the modern teen/20 male heroes.
Take Anti-Citizen1 from the context of the country she lives in. A girl in china? there is a lot of reality to her "plight" that can be drawn from.. and a lot of resentment from her perspective.
I would MUCH rather avoid the "White american knight vs. Evil Foreign commie" theme/stereotype... than worry about the character "possibly slipping into" a current female hero stereotype.
(and for the record, I highly disagree about your assessment of those series... I would honestly put them the other way around, where Damphir could have been anything, but they followed the "sexy female lead" MO.... Jo's story is entirely about being a woman in a supernatural situation. Its not, in any way, a generic story that just had a woman in the role, because its "trendy" right now. )
I'm still debating Dhampir. It took them a bit to develop the male lead at all and he's so many freaking stereo-types blended together that he might just disintegrate. But, at least it hasn't gone the way that Vampire Earth appears to be going (although I'll get the next book and see how badly they screw up Valentine this time). I do admit thought that the ending of the last of the series I've read left me thinking "God, no, don't tell me they're going to screw it up!"
I think it's the love-triangle between her, the genie and her first lover thing that makes the Weather Warden series seem a patched together pile of cliche's to me. I really enjoyed the first 3 books and after that it seemed to degenerate. Of course, it could simply have been all the freaking situations they through at her, I don't honestly know. Then again, it could be the same thing that's throwing me off the Dresden Files of late. The character just reaches the point where they may as well declare themSuperman and be done with it. The only flaw seems to be in their love lives (admittedly, that's oversimplifying). I didn't try to evaluate the feeling when it hit me, in either book.
Of the ones with a purely female lead, I think I'd rate Patricia Brigg's series with the skinwalking Volkswagen mechanic named Mercedes as the most enjoyable. Although, I just recently finished Summon the Keeper by Tanya Huff and that book was a riot as well as a good read. Who can resist Hell talking to itself!
Honestly, I'd still have to put Stirling's series with co-leads as the best read I've had of late. But then, that seems the more natural pattern to me anyway.
In regards to the stereotype issue, I realize I'm defining it identically to the traditional male stereotype. I see it as the same stereotype, in all honesty. The only difference is the gender and while I did appreciate the traditional male stereotype at one point, it gets on my nerves now as well. I don't care what the gender of the main character is as long as the character is developed enough to carry the role.
As for the conflict between the two proposed characters, I've got to admit that it didn't occur to me from that angle and that, yes, that would create a problem of its own. But...is Shackle of necessity Anglo? He could be descended from quite a few non-Anglo races in the US (figuratively or literally!). For that matter, do either of them have to be the hero/villain? From the background we were asked to comment on, it really sounds to me like both characters are Heroes in their own right, so long as Anti-Citizen 1 doesn't go ballistic. Both are doing what they believe to be the right thing for their own reasons. Why not portray both of them in the best light possible and play the conflict as necessitated more by the demands of society than by one being the good-guy and the other the bad-guy.
Anti-Citizen 1 represents the rights and plight of the individual over tyrannical society. Shackle represents the advancement of society through order, but an order that is largely created through compromise. Two differing world views that ironically are trying to accomplish the same thing.
Oh, right, and I have seen Grave of the Fireflies, and come to think of it, it's a parallel i'll have to see about expounding upon by giving her a sibling to soften her up a bit.
The original idea I had of Shackle was of being of Polish background, but his ethnicity can be changed to something less European, indeed, that would strengthen the implicit reader notion that he is not racially intolerant, but "meta"-intolerant.
as much as you enjoy the concept... you really cant deal with serial writing. You like the character, and the over arching story.....
but the fact that characters continue to have to have "stuff happen" eventually kills them... Thats why you can get into sterlings books so much... It ends. (personally, dies the fire was the only "excelent" one... the other two were viciously patched and choppy, and way too much "camp" thrown in for no real added value, imo.. good but not great)
I love serial writing... its like a comic book with actual development and, gasp, coherent plots.... :-P
(totally agree with the Vampire Earth fiasco... I havent read er... Resolve? the most recient one that's actually been released.... but the end of exile had me choking on bile for a while... Ahn-kel awsome, baby half vampire.. GAAAYNESS (no offence to those of the sexual prefrence))
I cant get into the writing of any of the werewolf chick books, nor the Dante Valentine stuff... its all just junk... I like The Weather Wardens, because I really like Jo's character, and I like David (modeled my character Will after him... as well as The Lorings from Protector's war.... I hope they're seen more as homages, though, rather than theft
but you dont need to bother with any of Anne Bishop's other stories... they dont compare.
You could be right about me having an aversion to serials, though. It's a common enough complaint of mine that authors seem to keep series alive long past the point they should end just to keep making a profit out of them. Too many excellent characters have been ruined simply by the need to keep throwing more and more things at them.
Uhm, who's Dante Valentine? I was referring to the character of David Valentine in the Vampire Earth series. And yah, I hated how the guy who's done more for ridding the earth of the Kurians than anyone adopts the baby-vampire. I also didn't care for him getting the shaft with that military trial and politics either. It's as though E.E. Knight decided to go an entirely new direction with the series and one that, frankly, I'm not fond of.
there's just the trilogy... the "other books" are like... collections of short stories, almost... some of them are history for the characters, or fill in gaps between the original three books.... two are stories "in addition" to the original trilogy... but they arent actually new books... in the sense of being full novels continuing the same storyline... rather "more adventures of..." type things.
basically... unnecessary.
get the 3 book anthology (daughter of the blood, heir to the shadows, queen of the darkness)
thats what im telling you to read... the rest, is just whether you want to read more about the characters and the world... after you're done.
Ahh, ok, that's the big problem with Amazon, you can't always tell what's what with the information given. They list the other books as part of the freaking series.
Heh, hadn't seen the Dante Valentine book before. Threw me for a loop as I'd just mentioned Valentine with the Vampire Earth books.
ROFL! To be honest, I'm surprised it even got resurrected to begin with.
Have you read Diana Pharaoh Francis' Path of Fate series? Path of Fate
And how do you change the link to a name without breaking it?
and no, I skimmed a chapter or so... didnt seem particularly well written, but maybe it was just a weak part?
And thanks for the info!
I just think that most fantasy is drivvle.... a feeling thats been creeping on exponentionally now that "urban fantasy" is getting classified as such.... a little too much train, not enough gravy.
I just couldn't handle the Vampire Earth books. I tried reading them, but the writing, the story line, it was all just a little *meh* for me.
I mean, I'm no Shakespeare myself, but I know decent stuff when I read it.
On the other hand, I've been reading the Dresden Files books for YEARS and I L-O-V-E them.
Jim Butcher is the man.
Any other decent Urban Fantasy series out there besides Dresden stuff Ghost?
My only caveat is, not too much in the sex department, and I want a Male protagonist.
Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, especially concerning their likes/dislikes about art (assuming you can even qualify right to opinions heh).
Besides, Fantasy is quickly reaching the point where there is very little new actually being written. Nearly everything is a rewrite of older works, ancient myths or both. Honestly, the reason the Path novels appealed to me at all was probably the fact that I've little (more like, no) exposure to the mythos it was based upon. Hell, I quit reading comics precisely because Marvel and DC both entered a spiral of refusing to create new titles but instead re-writing all of the old ones. I can't stand the Ultimate series!
Sci-Fi and Fantasy are simply the genre's I grew up with and I got to the point where I couldn't stand reading most philosophy books anymore.
assuming that you are directing that towards me (because I'm arrogant like that
If you want some sci-fi / fantasy, and you aren't afraid to laugh, I'd recommend The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse. It won novel of the year from the SFX magazine, which is saying something. It's british and it's pretty amusing.
you might give Neil Giaman's Neverwhere a read... one of my favorites, but its a singleshot.
also, there's Camille Bacon-Smith's Demon eyes... heard mixed-positive reviews about it, but havent read it myself.
its sort of suprising really... this genere is getting to be "big" but nearly all the protagonists are women... my theory is that there were a lot of "one off" writers.. not that they were one-off being writters, rather.... they didnt "quite" write fantasy novels...
and so, they wrote fiction, and they wrote to what they knew....
basically urban fantasy, as a genere is more like what happens when Women want to read crime noir with a tough chick as the protagonist....
...but they wanna bang a vampire too. ;P
Actually, I was replying to Ghost, you just hit enter first.
Dresden's becoming too Puglike for me. If something doesn't change in the next book or two I'll likely drop that series.
Luckily for me, I've been almost exclusively Fantasy for a long time so Sci-Fi still has a few surprises left.
God, I hate what the Anita Blake series turned into. -shudders- And it started out with such promise too!
Yeah I've read Gaimen's stuff already, enjoyed it. I just finished Anansi's Boys. It was pretty ok. I liked Neverwhere quite a bit.
I think you are right on the mark there with your assesment of urban fantasy, which is too bad. for I am neither a woman, nor do I have any interest in "banging" a vampire. If you'll pardon my french.
well, no matter...
pitty you cant get behind a female lead, there are a couple series worth reading out there.... for something "near" that genere, you could take a look at E. E. Knight's "Vampire Earth" series (starts with Way of the Wolf).... its getting a little derailed as a series, at the moment (but its on book, like, 8 now...) but the first 4-5 books are a solid read and very enjoyable.
It's not that I haven't tried, I just can't relate to female leads. It might have been those years of terrible novels I was forced to read in highschool, all that Victorian refuse.
Vampire Earth books are actually what drug me into this conversation. I tried reading the first couple and just couldn't get interested. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to my vampires I'm afraid.
And no, a really really cute FEMALE vampire is out of the question, so a male one is not even a consideration.
I'm afraid my boat doesn't sail those waters.
Dude, I'm just not going to *bite* on this one. It's just not my cup of tea.
^ you like the bad pun there?
Oh, and if anyone Needs some character advice, we're basically just kickin it around the hypothetical watercooler at the moment, so feel free to pounce on in.
Would you read it over, give me some advice?
What, not even if a life were at stake?
I'm guessing yours was from Dark Shadows Ghost? Been a long time since I saw it (hated the remake though).
and yes, I had the darkshadows soundtrack from way back... the last track on it was some rediculous brittish pop song from like the 70's. Camp-tastic!
Dr. Alex Loft was a brilliant engineer. If anyone wanted something designed a built that would work at maxmium efficiency they would go to him and that is exactly what they did. He was working for the military developing a top secret weapons program that would completly obliterate anyone who got in their way.
One night whilst working late, he heard a noise and went to investigate and found five men waiting for him. He tried to escape but before he knew it he was bound, gagged and blindfolded and then thrown into a van.
When the van stopped and his blindfold was removed he found himself in a cage in a huge warehouse. And that is where he was kept for two years he blindly obeyed his captors building what ever they asked him to and doing what ever they wanted. But one night as he was sitting in the dark two men came for him they told him that his services were no longer needed and that they were going to kill him. They took him to the edge of a cliff and pointed a gun at him. As the man was about to shoot he jumped off and plumeted into the icy water below. His captors left believing he had died.
He swam to the shore and despratly ran off into the distance. He arrived at an abandoned rubbish tip and set up a make shift shelter. while sitting in the dark hudled over for warmth he vowed to find who ever had captured him and bring them to justice. So using what ever he could find he built a pair of high tech gauntlets with retractable claws and a pair of state of the art pistols. He donned himself Agent Grey and set out to fight evil dooers and find the people who had imprisoned him.
What do you think? I'd be grateful for some feedback.