The game is ignoring all tells that don't come from fleet members or friends but I don't have it set to do that in game. Is there a file I need to tweak or delete somewhere to get this fixed? I've reinstalled the game more than 3 times for other reasons and once since noticing this so I'm not sure what could be causing this either way.
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Answers
It does not impact your ability to post to ZONE, or any other groups you may belong to, and you would be able to obtain PM's from those in your Fleet or Friends.
This is an alternate explanation to the above.
Try to type the following TWO commands in chat:
/Whitelist_Tells 1
press enter, and then right after:
/Whitelist_Tells 0
press enter.
Sometimes something is bugged in privacy options and this (and sometimes other) option needs to be forced updated. What which the above two commands do, is (enabling and then) DISABLING whitelist for tells.
Sorry, many people helped in that regard so I don't know whom to give credit for.
By my own experience, sometimes merely changing visibility and changing it back might cause privacy options to bug, (even if those look ok/like those were before,) such as those related to zone chatting, party invite and whispers.
Similar privacy fuctions often reset calling the Social "O" keybind selecting Team Settings and checking Team Default Settings Join Team Mode: Open Team is set. Then select Privacy from the lower right checking Search Visability: changing to Anonymous & back to Visable to All.
For it could be any of those explanations.
Anyway note that I changed visible to friends -> anonymous -> visible to friend, and some things messed up in practice/save, even if showing correctly (possibly related and happened more than once though I am not 100% sure it's linked) - this is why I added this. 1st time it happened I changed the matching bugged option by pressing the correct option button even if it looked like it was set right, until a yellow message "White list disabled for ... " appeared. However this was not the ideal/only way, and it was not a way I could explain well too (tried in the past, BTW).
This is unlike for new accounts by the way (will simplify the description now as I don't remember all unlock way 100% "by head" now).
However, I am unsure I understood last sirhenry's post hence I didn't answer, in hope that, as it looked to me, the problem was solved.
However I thought maybe you would like to read this information as an explanation of what which was described in your last message.
This specific option which caused this issue, (the option which was either bugged for you or was accidentally set not how you meant it) made you accidentally/non purposely auto "ignore" all whispers which are not from people who are either in your friend list (hence you could add them as friends and then eventually get whispers from them while they were in your friends list already then) of fleet members.
You COULD see whispers from friends (people in your friend list) and your fleet members, unless you would have ignored those (I know you didn't).
So, before the problem was solved (or the setting was changed to be as you wanted those), all other people (who are not any of: friend list members/fleet members) weren't able to successfully whisper you and if any of them tried while you were online, he/she was getting a message you ignore them, even if you didn't mean to ignore (you didn't really ignored them specifically), and even if you didn't add them to your ignore list (and yes, I know you didn't add).
As a side note, it could have been though that being in a party changed how some things worked/behaved for you regarding chat and whispers though, but this I don't know.
I hope it's more clear now
I am glad the solution worked for you.