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Gorn Jokes...In 2015!

semalda226semalda226 Member Posts: 1,994 Arc User
edited November 2015 in Ten Forward
That's right you read it right! It's time to end the year with the most groan inducing jokes, puns, and phrases you can think of! IT'S GORNA BE AWESOME!

I'll start us off.

Two Gorn are eating a clown one looks to the other and asks "Does this taste funny to you?"
tumblr_mxl2nyOKII1rizambo1_500.png

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Comments

  • Options
    deaftravis05deaftravis05 Member Posts: 4,885 Arc User
    You do realise that there's still a month to go before it's almost the end of the year?

    gorn_flotsam.jpg
  • Options
    semalda226semalda226 Member Posts: 1,994 Arc User
    edited November 2015
    Ya but you can't contain all the Gorny stuff people will come up with in a small amount of time. VIVA LA GORN!
    tumblr_mxl2nyOKII1rizambo1_500.png

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    turbomagnusturbomagnus Member Posts: 3,479 Arc User
    Yeah, the year is Gorn, Gorn, Gorn gone...
    "If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q, TNG: "Q-Who?"
    ^Words that every player should keep in mind, especially whenever there's a problem with the game...
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    deaftravis05deaftravis05 Member Posts: 4,885 Arc User
    semalda226 wrote: »
    Ya but you can't contain all the Gorny stuff people will come up with in a small amount of time. VIVA LA GORN!

    I dont want to read gorny stuff, i want to watch stuff with gorn in it.
  • Options
    turbomagnusturbomagnus Member Posts: 3,479 Arc User
    Q: What did the Gorn captain say when they watched a Godzilla movie?
    A: "Mom, is that you?"
    "If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q, TNG: "Q-Who?"
    ^Words that every player should keep in mind, especially whenever there's a problem with the game...
  • Options
    alexmakepeacealexmakepeace Member Posts: 10,633 Arc User
    The Gorn Ultimatum.
    The Gorn Supremacy.
    Gorn in Sixty Seconds.
    Gorn Free.
    Gorn Eggs and Ham.
    Hair today, gorn tomorrow.
    Popgorn.
    Candygorn.
    a1tg90.jpg
    Check out my YouTube channel!
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    markhawkmanmarkhawkman Member Posts: 35,231 Arc User
    This stuff is gorna make me want to see more Breen. :p
    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
    My character Tsin'xing
    Costume_marhawkman_Tsin%27xing_CC_Comic_Page_Blue_488916968.jpg
  • Options
    turbomagnusturbomagnus Member Posts: 3,479 Arc User
    What, you Gorn throw up?
    "If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q, TNG: "Q-Who?"
    ^Words that every player should keep in mind, especially whenever there's a problem with the game...
  • Options
    semalda226semalda226 Member Posts: 1,994 Arc User
    Well maybe tomorrow is Gorna be a Breeny day?
    tumblr_mxl2nyOKII1rizambo1_500.png

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    lindalefflindaleff Member Posts: 3,734 Arc User
    Time to grab some popGorn!

    tumblr_ncow7kOlOE1smr45to1_500.gif
    I completed a 2-man CSE, ISE, and KASE, Optionals included. And I soloed Winter Invasion.
    My Ship Builds: USS Conqueror, HMS Victorious, HMS Concord, ISS Queen Elizabeth, Black Widow III
    Click here to view my DeviantArt.
  • Options
    markhawkmanmarkhawkman Member Posts: 35,231 Arc User
    Bitechael Jackson?
    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
    My character Tsin'xing
    Costume_marhawkman_Tsin%27xing_CC_Comic_Page_Blue_488916968.jpg
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    artan42artan42 Member Posts: 10,450 Bug Hunter
    We've Breen telling these things for years.​​
    22762792376_ac7c992b7c_o.png
    Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though.
    JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
    #TASforSTO


    '...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
    'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
    'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
    '...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
    'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
    '...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek

    Get the Forums Enhancement Extension!
  • Options
    kyrrokkyrrok Member Posts: 1,352 Arc User
    edited November 2015
    Here we have this wonderful lizard skincare product! It's called, Lizard 99! Great for Gorn, Cardassians, Xindi reptillians, even Hazari! But mostly this is for Gorn! For a low low price of 4 hundred bars and 99 cents, you too can be as reptillian as anyone! Are you a Gorn, a Cardassian, or even a human who doesn't want to shave her legs anymore? Great news! Lizard 99 is just for you! But wait! There's more! Call within the next 30 minutes, and if you're one of the next 400 callers, and your credit is approved, You can get a second bottle of Lizard 99 for half price! (we round up to the nearest 10 bar of latinum increment.)

    Look at our testimonials!

    "Sssstethysstethysstethysstethysstethyssssss"
    I don't know why this Hew-mon has the need to carry that small dog in her arm, nor why she needs to say it's so hot every second sentence, or why she is trying to sound like she is speaking Gorn in an infomercial where we have to tranlate it into multiple languages anyway.

    "S'shotythississssssssssssssssssssssssssss"
    More Gorn should try this stuff. My skin exfoliates three times as much in half the time. Wait. Why am I shedding so much? No this is not right. Why is there liquid oozing out like blood? Hey what did you do to my sk---- (censored)

    "Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"
    This product is so good, I had to get more! Hey! Get that disruptor out of my face. No wait! Don't put that in the script! What are you still typing for? No! Please! No! Don't! No! (censored)

    This product is endorsed by Onek'tiklon, one of the founders' guards, S'shiesterss from the Gorn brothers' law firm, and none other than Gul Dukat! Before he died in a horriffic fiery inferno his last declaration was "this is the best thing since Bajoran distilled Kanar." This is a must have for every Gorn. Certified by actual Gorn Guards who serve on surface guard duty on Rura Penthe (the Gorn who certified its value are no longer available for comment or verification) as well as rebel Gorn on Nimbus III (Their continued endorsement of our product is still pending, after Hassan's operation/Gorn seperatist colony/Romulan installation all sufferred mild losses.)

    Our operators only take credit through Quark Enterprises, so no stockpiles of latinum on delivery, no credit card, no check or money order, no problem! Anual percentage rate is 38.999%, penalty rate is 49.999%, plus a 2% convenience fee in addition to the fair (we at the FCA will determine what is fair, thank you) base interest rate, currently at 9.035% (someone please inform the Ferengi in First City, Qo'nos of our new rates) with a few Gorn knocking on your door, or giving your ship a few mild (14 fully powered disruptor) warning shots if you are late with payment.
  • Options
    lindalefflindaleff Member Posts: 3,734 Arc User
    artan42 wrote: »
    We've Breen telling these things for years.​​
    Well, we do like to Klingon to out traditions.
    I completed a 2-man CSE, ISE, and KASE, Optionals included. And I soloed Winter Invasion.
    My Ship Builds: USS Conqueror, HMS Victorious, HMS Concord, ISS Queen Elizabeth, Black Widow III
    Click here to view my DeviantArt.
  • Options
    deaftravis05deaftravis05 Member Posts: 4,885 Arc User
    kyrrok wrote: »
    Here we have this wonderful lizard skincare product! It's called, Lizard 99! Great for Gorn, Cardassians, Xindi reptillians, even Hazari! But mostly this is for Gorn! For a low low price of 4 hundred bars and 99 cents, you too can be as reptillian as anyone! Are you a Gorn, a Cardassian, or even a human who doesn't want to shave her legs anymore? Great news! Lizard 99 is just for you! But wait! There's more! Call within the next 30 minutes, and if you're one of the next 400 callers, and your credit is approved, You can get a second bottle of Lizard 99 for half price! (we round up to the nearest 10 bar of latinum increment.)

    Look at our testimonials!
    *cut for length

    *chokes*
  • Options
    turbomagnusturbomagnus Member Posts: 3,479 Arc User
    edited November 2015
    Vorta ya expect? Life without Gorn jokes would just leave us all Borg. I'm not pointing Ferengi's at anyone, but it's a Bajor improvement over some jokes we could be making, Q know.

    Though I don't know if that skin stuff would show any Prophet...
    "If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q, TNG: "Q-Who?"
    ^Words that every player should keep in mind, especially whenever there's a problem with the game...
  • Options
    kyrrokkyrrok Member Posts: 1,352 Arc User
    deaftravis05 wrote: »
    kyrrok wrote: »
    Here we have this wonderful lizard skincare product! It's called, Lizard 99! Great for Gorn, Cardassians, Xindi reptillians, even Hazari! But mostly this is for Gorn! For a low low price of 4 hundred bars and 99 cents, you too can be as reptillian as anyone! Are you a Gorn, a Cardassian, or even a human who doesn't want to shave her legs anymore? Great news! Lizard 99 is just for you! But wait! There's more! Call within the next 30 minutes, and if you're one of the next 400 callers, and your credit is approved, You can get a second bottle of Lizard 99 for half price! (we round up to the nearest 10 bar of latinum increment.)

    Look at our testimonials!
    *cut for length

    *chokes*

    Another satisfied customer! :D

    No, no, really you're supposed to spread it around your skin, not try to eat or drink it.
  • Options
    deaftravis05deaftravis05 Member Posts: 4,885 Arc User
    kyrrok wrote: »
    deaftravis05 wrote: »
    kyrrok wrote: »
    Here we have this wonderful lizard skincare product! It's called, Lizard 99! Great for Gorn, Cardassians, Xindi reptillians, even Hazari! But mostly this is for Gorn! For a low low price of 4 hundred bars and 99 cents, you too can be as reptillian as anyone! Are you a Gorn, a Cardassian, or even a human who doesn't want to shave her legs anymore? Great news! Lizard 99 is just for you! But wait! There's more! Call within the next 30 minutes, and if you're one of the next 400 callers, and your credit is approved, You can get a second bottle of Lizard 99 for half price! (we round up to the nearest 10 bar of latinum increment.)

    Look at our testimonials!
    *cut for length

    *chokes*

    Another satisfied customer! :D

    No, no, really you're supposed to spread it around your skin, not try to eat or drink it.

    Well, eating it makes me lose weight
  • Options
    kyrrokkyrrok Member Posts: 1,352 Arc User
    deaftravis05 wrote: »
    kyrrok wrote: »
    deaftravis05 wrote: »
    kyrrok wrote: »
    Here we have this wonderful lizard skincare product! It's called, Lizard 99! Great for Gorn, Cardassians, Xindi reptillians, even Hazari! But mostly this is for Gorn! For a low low price of 4 hundred bars and 99 cents, you too can be as reptillian as anyone! Are you a Gorn, a Cardassian, or even a human who doesn't want to shave her legs anymore? Great news! Lizard 99 is just for you! But wait! There's more! Call within the next 30 minutes, and if you're one of the next 400 callers, and your credit is approved, You can get a second bottle of Lizard 99 for half price! (we round up to the nearest 10 bar of latinum increment.)

    Look at our testimonials!
    *cut for length

    *chokes*

    Another satisfied customer! :D

    No, no, really you're supposed to spread it around your skin, not try to eat or drink it.

    Well, eating it makes me lose weight

    Um, well, yes of course it does! You heard it here first folks, an unsolicited testimonial certifying the increased benefits of Lizard 99 when consumed! (weight loss benefit not guaranteed for all, not liable for digestive or other health problems)
  • Options
    hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,758 Arc User
    Gorny toads. I don't know.
    Phoenix_Compendium_1.jpg
    USS Phoenix-X Literary Index | Comics | Most recent story: "The Opposite of That"
  • Options
    jasonyeefongjasonyeefong Member Posts: 105 Arc User
    *pulls pine* GORNADE! *throws object*



    Btw who here wants to see T6 Gorn ships in the future? ^_^
  • Options
    kyrrokkyrrok Member Posts: 1,352 Arc User
    edited November 2015
    jasonyeefong wrote: »
    *pulls pine* GORNADE! *throws object*



    Btw who here wants to see T6 Gorn ships in the future? ^_^

    As long as it comes in addition to, not instead of a Klingon science ship, I'm fine with it. Wait, what about the other cultures' ships Fed side? There's been a Nausicaan destroyer for the KDF but no D'kyr, Kumari, Atrox, or any such as those in T6.

    *looks curiously at the pine looking object* I think you dropped something *throws it back* =)
  • Options
    jcsteelejcsteele Member Posts: 155 Arc User
    I AM GORNHOLIO!!!

    I'll let myself out...
  • Options
    markhawkmanmarkhawkman Member Posts: 35,231 Arc User
    jcsteele wrote: »
    I AM GORNHOLIO!!!

    I'll let myself out...
    *activates corpse chute*
    In the 24 and one halfth CENTURY!
    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
    My character Tsin'xing
    Costume_marhawkman_Tsin%27xing_CC_Comic_Page_Blue_488916968.jpg
  • Options
    kyrrokkyrrok Member Posts: 1,352 Arc User
    edited November 2015
    This just in! Lizard 99 is offerring a limited time sale! For the first 400 callers whose credit is approved, we will slash the price in half! For the low, low price of 400 bars and 50 cents (half price from the cents section only is still a sale) you too can be a lizard! Great for Saurians, Gorn, Lethean, even bald Nausicaans and women who don't want to shave anymore.

    But wait! There's more!

    If you are among the 400 callers selected, you can get the second, and for a limited time only, a third bottle for half the price each (400 bars and 25 cents) What Gorn could balk at that?

    But wait! There's even more!

    A carefully performed survey has just revealed Lizard 99 to have benefits when consumed by mouth. Read this sparkling testonial, who under oath has attested to the following and thus is proven true...
    deaftravis05 wrote: »
    kyrrok wrote: »
    deaftravis05 wrote: »
    kyrrok wrote: »
    Here we have this wonderful lizard skincare product! It's called, Lizard 99! Great for Gorn, Cardassians, Xindi reptillians, even Hazari! But mostly this is for Gorn! For a low low price of 4 hundred bars and 99 cents, you too can be as reptillian as anyone! Are you a Gorn, a Cardassian, or even a human who doesn't want to shave her legs anymore? Great news! Lizard 99 is just for you! But wait! There's more! Call within the next 30 minutes, and if you're one of the next 400 callers, and your credit is approved, You can get a second bottle of Lizard 99 for half price! (we round up to the nearest 10 bar of latinum increment.)

    Look at our testimonials!
    *cut for length

    *chokes*

    Another satisfied customer! :D

    No, no, really you're supposed to spread it around your skin, not try to eat or drink it.

    Well, eating it makes me lose weight

    Well? Roll the other testimonials! Come on! Step to it! What do you mean that's the only one? What about those Gorn surface guards on Rura Penthe? Don't they still have some... Never mind. Hey! YOU! Are you still typing all this? Come here! (censored)

    OK! You may begin. Try Lizard 99 today and you too can have skin as smooth as a Gorn! What do you mean Gorn skin is rough? That's just because they never tried Liz... Are you still typing? Stop! NOW!

    Lizard 99 is a patented product of Quark Enterprises.
  • Options
    jcsteelejcsteele Member Posts: 155 Arc User
    Lizard 99 is a patented product of Quark Enterprises.

    Now THAT is the only red flag consumers will need to heed.
  • Options
    kyrrokkyrrok Member Posts: 1,352 Arc User
    jcsteele wrote: »
    Lizard 99 is a patented product of Quark Enterprises.

    Now THAT is the only red flag consumers will need to heed.

    Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! First you say that any Dabo tables made by Quark Enterprises is invariably rigged and now this? I have half the mind to report you to the FCA! I'm sure Brunt himself will come out of retirement just for you. :D
  • Options
    turbomagnusturbomagnus Member Posts: 3,479 Arc User
    "Captain's Personal Log... 'Godzilla' movies no longer to be shown while transporting Gorn diplomats..."
    "If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -- Q, TNG: "Q-Who?"
    ^Words that every player should keep in mind, especially whenever there's a problem with the game...
  • Options
    markhawkmanmarkhawkman Member Posts: 35,231 Arc User
    Godzilla or Gornzilla? :p
    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
    My character Tsin'xing
    Costume_marhawkman_Tsin%27xing_CC_Comic_Page_Blue_488916968.jpg
  • Options
    kyrrokkyrrok Member Posts: 1,352 Arc User
    turbomagnus wrote: »
    "Captain's Personal Log... 'Godzilla' movies no longer to be shown while transporting Gorn diplomats..."

    You'll want a healthy supply of Lizard 99 when you host the Gorn ambassador. It would help their skin be smoother. Just as smooth as the Romulan Ale at the dinner with Gorkon and company! =)
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